#but now for understandable reasons thats not a thing anymore. or it might be but its encouraged to use the online platform yknow

[kalmeria]

.

[lylianrae]

Fullfilment is all you need + success??

Basically what the title says + pics for proof (since anons had no problem asking for pics shamelessly (shameeee on you🤨) )

What even is fulfillment?

Fulfillment is the "feeling" that your desires are already realised in the 3D. It is also the same feeling we are trying to evoke with the state of wish fulfilled. When you are fulfilled, you feel as though you already have it fully (although you may only have in the 4D) and you're not actually bothered about whether it would manifest or how long it takes. As Neville always stated in his books, "feeling is the secret", its like knowing you already have it so you're secure in your manifestation.

Why is fulfillment the G.O.A.T?

Honestly you can manifest things so easily. Forgot affirming for 16 hours straight, SATs, the void, tapping or whatever the anons are on these days. It can be so much fun and it'll always leave you feeling good because you know you already have it. If you actually explore why you might want a certain desire, you'll realise that it actually stems from a much deeper void (pun intended).

For example, you might want to manifest 100% on your next test - do you want to see the number 100 randomly or do you want to feel proud of yourself? Do you want to have people admiring and respecting you? Do you want your parents to brag about you to their coworkers? Same thing with money, if you just have £25,000 in your bank account, it'll just be a bunch of numbers but actually what you are after is the financial freedom. The numbers would be useless if you can't do what you want with them.

Overall its the reason why we manifest and why these desires become reality. As soon as we make the feeling of having it natural, it manifests.

How do I know if I am fulfilled?

You are secure in your knowing as you know you have it already so there is no wondering where your desire is. You don't really care about time or how long it takes the same way anymore because you understand that you have it now so there is nothing to wait for if you already have what you want. Its more you know you have in the 4D so you don't care about the 3D. You have entered sabbath state and you're just chilling basically (it sounds like 5 different ways to say the same thing? 🤨).

How do I fulfill myself?

All these techniques - SATS, affirming, visualisation is all about helping us fulfill ourselves. Decide that you have this particular desire and know that. Sometimes we crave certain feelings, like sometimes we just want a warm hug or to eat a certain food which we can't in the moment. Literally just close your eyes and imagine having whatever it is as vividly as possible (if you want) and you'll notice the feeling of lack and desire just leaving.

For example, if you want a chocolate bar, you'll decide that you have one now. No matter what the 3D shows you, know that you have a chocolate bar. You can affirm, do SATS and visualise for the chocolate bar but at the end of the day they are techniques used to help you fulfill yourself and ease your craving for the chocolate bar by tell you that you already have it. With that being said, there is no higher power out there that will say that you can't have your desire if you only affirm 49 times out of 50 or only visualise once throughout your day. Thats also why sometimes desires just pop up even if you affirm once.

Success story??

So recently I have been putting my foot down about manifesting so I have been visualising and fulfilling myself whenever I get the chance. If I want to eat something I dont have in my house? Into my imagination I go and I create it. I want to hug someone I can't anymore? Imagination time. I want someone stop asking me questions? Close eyes, fulfill, rinse and repeat.

I've been "meditating" at night (I say meditating but its me just passing out after 3 secs) so sometimes I get weird trippy dreams but sometimes I can't remember them at all and wake up tired af even though I get 9 hours of sleep (sus as hell). Anyways one day (9/07) I dreamt of some dogs (which I completely forgot about) and after a few hours, my mum told me that my brother was collecting coins so he could save up for a puppy (hes 5 lmao) and shes was so impressed. She tried to talk to my dad into it and surprisingly he agreed?? Although I love dogs, I have also asked for a cat since forever (since manifesting my way into that private school) and I basically complained hard to my dad who really wanted a dog but he was kind of leaning towards a cat too that day. He even told me that if any sellers agree, he'll go pick them up right that day (lets be real, no one will with such short notice I think he just set me up to fail 😡). The next day (10/07) my sister approached him about it and apparently he was like no way (🤕) but tbh I didn't really care. Inside I was just like "I'll get whatever I want anyways" because its true but also because I'm kind of too busy for a pet right now. I used to think my life was too toxic for pet and that they would be better off not being mine but recently I just realised that I was just manifesting that toxicity into my life. Why would I, the God of my reality, be deprived of anything I want? Its simply not natural. Anyways -back to the story- he didn't want to get a cat and I was busy that day I sort of just dropped it. The next day (11/07), I was looking through kitten pictures and showing my mum and we were taking about what kind of cat to get, awwing over kittens (the usual yk). My dad walked in and I showed him the pictures and for once in his life, he was like yeah they're cute and then he told me to message the seller and that he will go pick the kitten up that very same day if they responded but only if they responded by 5 pm or else I won't get a cat at all (at the time, it was already after 3:30pm). I messaged a bunch of them and one of them responded super fast and even gave us their number, my dad gave them a call but... they would. not. pick up. I was stressing out so much because time was running but I somehow channeled my inner master manifestor and just calmed myself. Then the next thing I did was close my eyes and imagine myself hugging a tinyy black and white kitten. Then I just let it go, grabbed some ice cream and forced myself to chill. Lmao just kidding, I affirmed in my head like twice but I was interrupted because the seller called back!! Anyways, long story short, we ended up driving 1hr to the sellers place and guess what... I got what I wanted.

Lol hes angry I won't let him sleep

His name is Mion and hes an absolutely babyyy. I will never shut up about how perfect he is - hes so freaking well behaved, has never bit, scratched or pooped on anything (expect litter). Hes so good with loud noises and with being picked up and played with. I've only heard him meow at the fruit flies and he only uses his claws on his toys. The crazy part is I only paid £10 for him. I used to stress that my dad won't actually like him but tell me why he's baby talking him?? It was honestly all so sudden, I didn't even have cat litter or a litter tray for him on the day.

I didn't exactly want a cat that bad but I think because I'm always giving myself whatever I want in my imagination, my subconcious just translated that into "there is nothing that I cannot have". Remember, there is nothing that you cannot have either <3 Bye bye.

Love, Lylian. This post is way too long, I'm so sorry I lost the plot a while ago. Ps: do you have any naming suggestions for him, I feel like Mion is a good name and an awful name at the same time.

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[kaceythecrunch]

RANT. (sturntok.)

Yall. Im so mad. Sturntok pisses me the fuck off to the point it isn't even funny anymore. This might be messy, so bare with me.

Tara. Why the fuck is everyone pressed about Tara hanging out with the triplet, specifically matt and Chris. Yall are acting as if it was only two of them, like they're on a date. They were with fucking I don't know, 8 other people? Like why does Sturntok care who they hangout with? Did you not learn from elementary school to mind your bees wax, or business? You're probably 15. They're literally 5 years older than you. There is no way, in any universe they're gonna date you girl. ALSO TO SHIT ON TARA?? LIKE GIRL. FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SHIT ON CUZ HOMEGIRL DONT CARE. SHE DONT CARE. SHE IS STRIVING AND LIVING LIFE LIKE YOU SHOULD GIRL. Live life and don't care. You'll probably have a positive outcome. No cuz y'all know how Chris owns the Saturn necklace thing? Its vivienne underwood. It's less than 20 bucks on Amazon. Also when was the last time y'all saw Chris wearing that necklace girl. Also there's a post from like months, or I think a year ago of Tara wearing the same necklace. These fucking tiktok girls are so annoying. Like we get it, everyone wants to be Tara. (she's my gf.)

Podcast. I saw a bunch of btiches shit on the podcast. Like cmon. THEY ARE PRODUCING AN HOUR LONG VIDEO FOR YALL EVERY WEEK. Mfs are burnt out, you're lucky that they even produce content for you ungreatful hoes. Like lwk, I'd rather have them remove Wednesday videos. I remember when they first started their podcast that they were really excited to start and stuff. I also remember, I believe it was their earlier vlogs. When they were still living in Boston and they haven't like went to LA yet, they were talking about turning their basement into a podcast room. Like cmon. This is something they've been wanting to do and you hoes just don't appreciate anything. Like have y'all's mama's not been pissed at y'all for not appreciating her food. Live life positive and not negative tf. But ofc, I respect their decision.

Intro. Yall just love to shit on everyone. Ruining the party. Sturntok reminds me of the kids-the class "clowns" who would be so shitty to the teacher for no reason and would ruin fun things for everyone. Like guys, I think we should all as a community bully Sturntok. It requires a bit more bullying, just to knock some sense into their heads. Anyways, back to what I was ranting about. I loved their new intro. its a new era. A new them. Change. Is. Fucking. hard. I understand that you love the teens from Boston running around making fools of themselves. Me too, I shall admit it. But in order to get sponsorships, to get the little paring things. (For example, them sponsoring Celsius, even becoming the youtooz thing.) Like they gotta act more professional.

Change. This tied in with the last few things. CHANGE IS HARD. CHANGE IS A DIFFICULT THING. But how the fuck are you gonna live life, and enjoy life when your stuck on one thing forever. Change is needed for growth, and for learning. Like guys, THEYRE 20. I think that's something y'all forget. They aren't teenagers anymore. Its kinda like how when everyone went into middle school and started to not like kiddy things when you still liked kiddy things. When I was in middle school I still like to play with Legos, draw, watch anime. Until I hit 7th grade, aka everyone's downfall. I still enjoy some of those things today but I changed because people in middle school stopped like those things and its embarrassing (well for me at least) to show up in school with anime shirts cuz I'm getting older. Thats what they're feeling I guess. Again, theyre 20 now.

Crazy ass mfs. Crazy, as in them soft mf's on sturntok. Also what pisses me off more is that they're coming here on tumblr. Like no, I know your soft ass belongs on Wattpad bffr. I have a long rant about this one, so bare with me again. They are so so so so so SOOOOO sensitive about the "spicy edits." Sometimes the fucking video frame isn't even about something "spicy" aka- them being shirtless, video frame near their crotch. It was when there was a song about sex. How soft can you be. Most songs these days are about sex. Some songs y'all probably didn't know about was about sex. (cake by the ocean for example.) LIKE LETS ME FOR REAL. MOST SONGS ARE ABOUT SEX. Also with the tiktok audios being removed like cmon. Not everything is about sunshine and rainbows. I remember I commented on a Chris edit and I was like.

"I need this man in my life. He's so hot."

"you're fucking gross. He's a human being and do you know how grossed out he would be if he saw that you said this? (bullshitbullshit,morebullshitandstupidness.)"

Yeah, keeping fucking running your mouth. THIS TIKTOK HAS LIKE 4K VIEWS. DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING FOLLOWERS THE TRIPLETS HAVE? YEAH. THAT'S NOT EVEN A QUARTER OF WHAT THEY HAVE. THIS VIDEO HAS 1K COMMENTS. ARE THEY FUCKING HUNTING ME DOWN?? MY COMMENT HAS 3 LIKES. WHY WOULD THEY CARE TO FUCKING CHECK GIRL. ITS ALSO TELLING THE FUCKING PERSON WHO EDITED THIS THAT THIS EDIT WAS FIRE AND THAT THEY MADE THE EDIT HELLA GOOD. UR FUCKING LUCKY I KEPT MY ANGER TO MYSELF CUZ OH GIRL. I WOULD SUCKER PUNCH YOU. You know whats also funny? They're the same people who will be pissed with when they see matt or Chris with a female. Like girl. You're calling me fucking gross? Do you think how much more worse that is than my comment? You ruin friendships. OG sturniolo fans know that they've been friends with girls. If you genuinely care, yall would know that nick made most of matt and chris' friends. Meaning most of them were females. SO OBVIOUSLY THEYRE GONNA HAVE GIRL FRIENDS. I remember watching the Zach sang pod when nick was on and he explained that matt usually doesn't make the friends. Theres a joke where matt says "I'm gonna make a friend that wasn't originally nick's friends." smth like that. Anyways, off topic. Just because they are seen with a girl, doesn't mean they are fucking dating them. Like shut the fuck up. please. Respectfully shut the fuck because I'm a nice person. Also Chris gives off major virgin vibes lets bffr.

Madi. Yall hate so bad on Madi and its fucking grossing me out. Why do you have to ship her with matt and chris??? Literally to the point they can't even put her in photo dumps or videos. You just gotta ruin it for everyone, huh? shes fucking gorgeous, and she's so funny in videos. Plus, when she does talk shes hillarious. She literally reminds me of Matt. She doesn't fucking talk much because she is more of a listener.. Like guys bffr. How can you hate her when she barley spoke in videos. Like respectfully, shut the fuck up. Yall just jealous shes pretty.

Calling Nick fine. I also hate them mfs who are always running their mouth about girls calling Nick fine. Lets bffr. Y'all didn't think a gay guy is fine? I'm sure you've had a crush on one gay person before. And if you haven't trust me. You will. I had a crush on my gay friend in 8th grade. I feel like its a canon even in every girl's life. anyways, I hate when girls will be scared to call nick hot.

"Nick is so fine. But like as a cool guy friend way. Please don't attack me."

POOR GIRL BELIEVES SHE IS GONNA BE ATTACKED IF SHE CALLS A GAY MAN FINE. Sturntok leave her the fuck alone. He's hot as fucking and I will kill civilians if I'm not given more nick edits. He's so fine. Literally the hottest triplet.

If u made it here thanks. There was shit on my chest that I really needed to let out. What have we learned today?

Sturntok can suck my fucking dick.

Thanks goodbye.

Me to Sturntok :

[thewisaaaaad]

ALRIGHT SO Heket. Big frog lesbian. Time to characteristic her in a way that makes sense for my previous posts

So, the biggest aspect of her character that I wanted to play off of for this is "Protective". She is furious at her brother for harming her family, and less so about any personal harm she might have endured. She trusted her siblings judgement that Narinder had gone too far, and with their claims of his madness, well.

Shamura had never been wrong before.

This trait is also why she aids Leshy and Kalamar in the sheep exodus that occurred after Shamura really started to go off the deep end. They may have once been Narinders favorite, but more importantly they were HER PEOPLE. And she promised to keep what was hers SAFE. She committed the least sheep executions out of the bishops bar Leshy.

Now, her relationship with Forneus is... Interesting. During one of Hekets rage filled crusades through her domain, where she hunted down the skeletal creatures that stalked it (another reason to hold that grudge against Nari, as she very resonably blamed him for the mindless undead. It isn't actually his fault, Shamura hid his finger in Hekets domain, causing the dead to rise. Its always Shamura.) she encountered the large black cat with an equally large heart, and instantly became smitten. She wasn't like her squid brother, though, and wouldn't be so crass. She was a god, after all, and needed to play it cool. She did so extremely badly, but it endeared her to Forneus anyway.

Then she found out that her crush was a worshiper of death, a couple of months later. Enraged, she questioned the patient cat about why she would worship that traitorous bastard.

And then Forneus tells her about her kits, now in Narinders care, taken by another god.

Heket is no longer enraged, knowing exactly how far she herself would go for family. Worship of the one who held the shop-keeps kits was entirely forgivable. Now, that rage is replaced with confusion. Who would sacrifice to their brother? And why?

She knows that Kallamar still cared for the chained god, but he was too cowardly- he never left his sea anymore.

Leshy was out immediately. Sure, he was chaos, and had an affinity for drawing children with his own childish personality. But that worm guarded the young with his life, and would rather die than see them come to harm.

Shamura... Shamura wouldn't do it. Even in their less than stellar mental condition, they always hated their brother. They would never gift them children.

...but it was Shamura. The description was unmistakable. However, there was one more question that they needed to ask.

"Wise Shamura... Did you sacrifice two kits to the one who waits?"

An uncomfortable silence passed, Heket left staring at the spiders thin, tall silhouette, the eldest's back turned to them.

"...Yes, I remember now. Ooh, kits… I remember, I remember… two kits in my claws… a gift…" Their mandibles clicked with fondness, a clarity and somber joy on their face that left Heket staring in horror at their sibling, a truth dawning on the frog.

"I did not want him to be... Lonely..."

The twins had been 3 years of age when they were taken. Old enough to know their mother, too young to understand what happened.

At that, Hekets future was set in stone. Her brother was wrongfully imprisoned. He had no madness. There was no demon in his mind.

The madness lie with Shamura.

SO ANYWAYS. Thats a big reason why Heket allies with Narinder. She's still really mad about the whole wounding thing, but also is scared that he will be really angry at all of them. And she would have no moral ground to stand on when he came for them.

Bonus, when Narinder finds out about the source of his disciples, He is horrified. He just thought they had died young in Silkcradle to some spiders. He is even more horrified that this is one of the few action Shamura made that WEREN'T influenced by the Sin, Envy.

At the end of this, everyone feels like they didn't know who Shamura really was.

[mokafen1]

reset your journey

attempting to shift shouldnt feel like a never ending cycle.

shifting, per say, is not hard by any means, yet we over-complicate it anyway by focusing on the struggles instead of the goal. once we get tired of not doing any progress, shifting wont feel the same, that is usually followed by a break, but instead of a break, i recommend resetting your journey completely. let me explain:

the joy and excitement that you felt at the start of your shifting journey cant be brought back, but you can replicate it. in contrary to how we look at shifting today, we used to focus on the destination, not the struggles and frustration of trying to get there. weve accumulated so much information about shifting over the years that it doesnt even seem thrilling anymore, we were so clueless and i suppose that explains why shifting sounded so incredible, we had yet to really understand it.

i will give you some examples of what my definition of restarting your journey can look like, but really, its up to you to figure it out, i dont speak for the entirety of the community. the world is your oyster, you are in a greater position to take charge of your choices than everybody else.

so, in theory, finding an exemplification for what we see as something new and exciting should help. instead of giving up and taking breaks that usually bring you back to the same never ending cycle you thought you left behind, you can start doing things that you know will remind you of how fun shifting used to feel like when you first started.

for instance, i will write a schedule for how each and every single day in my OR will look like if we bring shifting into the equation. i will note it down that at 3pm i will affirm and when ill shift ill try *insert method here*. personally thats something i used to do when i first started, ironic as it is, i dropped it because i felt like i needed a break.

you will get there, it feels just as real as everything else around you right now. so what if you didnt shift yesterday? are you scared youre not gonna make it ever? you have nothing to lose. treat shifting as any other goal you might want to reach, because really, lets be honest, shifting isnt something wow, humans wouldnt be humans without the act of shifting itself. woooow that person shifted what a big deal, shut up. thats the kind of attitude you should have towards this situation. at the very start we were so motivated, so RESTART RESTART RESTART. restart your journey until it feels right.

im not saying breaks arent necessary, they can very well be, but on the other hand i think i should bring to light the reason why we get so burnt out that we feel the need to quit in the first place.

[periludic]

poke, poke, u still here?

if ur still taking requests, may i have headcanons of dating renee murray with a fem!reader?

if not, i just hope u have a nice day 🫂

" A GIRL LIKE YOU "

📌 Pairing : renee x fem!reader

📌 Romantic. angst(?) and comfort. feel like this headcanon is lacking but hey at least im finally answering my inbox. (sorry for how long this is, might turn this into an ao3 fic)

RENEE MURRAY

- enemies to lovers slowburn 200,000,000 words

- he didnt like you at all when you were 10 for reasons he couldnt explain. but he knew one thing was for sure; you make him feel frustrated like no one ever has before.

- you make him heat up, and feel as if hes on fire. he didnt like it, not at all. you make his heart beat race and his stomach tighten up and he didnt know what to do with himself.

- so he chalked these feelings up to him 'hating you more than normal', because he didn't feel like this towards any of the other girls he has met before. surely thats the only explanation

- he hated you, he was sure of it.

- he hated you when you kept talking to him despite his mean words. he hated you for caring about him even if he pushes you away. he hated you for spending way too much time with qiu

- and he hated you for how bad you made him feel. he hated you for making him guilty whenever your face fell from his disregarding words.

- he hated the way he wanted to be with you all the time. he hated the way you were way too pretty for his own liking. he hated the way you made him want to be kinder.

- too much, it was all too much. so he started to distance himself away from you.

- you grew apart, and you didnt even get an explanation why he wouldnt dare look your way.

- it hurts, it continued to hurt until you were thirteen. and you grew to be bitter towards him. bitter for not giving you an explanation, for throwing you away

- but you didnt know. you didnt know how much it hurted her more.

- it pained her that she couldnt hang out with you anymore. that you now treat her as nothing more than a stranger. that it was all her fault

- it was all her fault because she was stupid. thats all she was and all she will ever be. stupid, stupid, stupid.

- the two of you grew, and before you knew it you have reached the age of fourteen.

- by this stage, ren has figured out who she really wanted to be. even if she wasnt ready to accept it fully.

- she thought about all that she was, and all the two of you could have been

- it took her four years to realize that she actually likes you. she was downright smitten with a girl that hated her. a girl who she was supposed to hate herself.

- when she was more sure of herself, she eventually found the courage to apologize

- it took her an embarassing amount of time. pacing around her room, reciting and memorizing all that she wanted to say to you.

- only to stutter when she was finally in front of you, tounge tied and unsure. her script didnt matter; and she ended up spilling her entire heart in front of you, tears and all.

- you accepted her apology, but you couldnt forgive her yet. she hurt you after all, in a way no one has before

- she completely understands, promising to wait for however long it will take for her to gain your trust once more.

- it was messy journey. your feelings pushing and pulling you away from her back and forth. but nevertheless, she stayed. she stayed with a smile in her face as if she was happy

- she was happy to be with you

- eventually it was all worth it. you two grew closer and closer until no one could dare break the two of you apart.

- no one and nothing. except for college of course

- renee was older than you, you know that. eventually she was going to leave you behind to pursue her dreams

- and even though you were the only dream she wanted to pursue, she knows she had to say goodbye. to go on without you (again)

- the day she was set to leave her home and face the great unknown on her own, was the day that she broke down for the second time in front of you

- she loves you. she said. oh so much.

- she loves you and she didnt know how to let you go

- suddenly it was as if the two of you were fourteen again. she felt as if she was pathetic, the same way her 12 year old self was pathetic

- all you could do was hold her, and ask her to wait for you like she did back then. just a little more and finally nothing will ever separate the two of you ever again

- for you, she learned to be patient. she texted you every day, at every other hour when she could. she stayed up late at night, listening to your voice from the other side of the phone

- she keeps a picture of you on the desk in her dorm room. she keeps you as her wallpaper. she keeps you close, even if the two of you were far away from each other

——

📌 didnt proof read. english isnt my first language and quite frankly i dont really like how this turned out my bad gang. but heyyyy im back after months of inactivity

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Angel Dust Redesign! (7/7)

FINALLY I AM DONE WITH THE MAIN 7 FREAKS.

Depending how I feel I might throw in some bonuses but these guys are your only guarantees! Going to be posting the full lineup separately because I don’t want to clutter this post!!

God okay where to start. I was talking about them in Husk’s post so let’s go with that. Angel’s clothing restrictions are his necklace and shoes. I might go on a bit of a tangent with this so forgive me 💔

For the necklace let me get this out of the way: yes it is a BDSM thing! I’m terrified people are going to take this as me being a weirdo but please as an adult content creator give me some space to explain before anyone jumps on me and hits me with a metal pipe. The intentions behind symbolism matter HEAVILY. I am against Vivzie’s portrayal of Angel’s abuse and the chain/collar imagery because it is blatantly either her being incredibly uncreative or her inserting her kinks into her shows. I think it is completely fine to use suggestive items in this way as long as the intentions are clear and not just there for no reason.

I would’ve probably done something else like a corset as a restriction, but I’d like to stop being so shy about Angel’s actual job. He is a pornstar and removing that outward aspect of him is taking a big chunk of his character away. I need more people to acknowledge that Angel enjoys sex and actively wanted to explore this side of himself. With the slip chain however, I would also like to portray how things Angel enjoys in his job have been used against him and made him come to resent what he does when he is forced into it. I think thats a pretty understandable thing to show.

This is harder to explain but the gist of it is just don’t be afraid to acknowledge Angel’s job. It’s okay to use sexual things as metaphors. Have you heard any christian song ever/hj

Alright with that out of the way, with the shoes. Angel’s feet are a large insecurity and discomfort of his which already makes his shoes some sort of restriction on their own, however if controlled, they can be made to stumble forward, fall over, etc. I wanted to show how Angel has freedom to go mostly wherever he pleases, though once again, that free will can be taken away very quickly.

I hated his suit so all suiting is gone entirely. He’s supposed to look attractive or eye catching at the very least. I’ve also added back the outer fangs he had in my first redesign!

I am much happier with the new one in comparison to this old guy. I know it’s only a few months old but you can really see how differently I draw him and the details I pay attention to more like the shape of his hair. Aside from the old one! I wanted Angel himself to still keep the reddish pink to show wrath and destain being masked as lust, except now his clothing is actually the pinkish-purple lust colour and it covers more eye grabbing parts of his body like the chest, hands, hips, and so on.

I don’t think I’ve ever outwardly mentioned Angel having polycoria but he does and it’s probably my favourite feature to draw aside from his hair. About the hair and fur: Angel used to have spots and basic stripes before his contract with Valentino, where afterwards they began to curl into their cordiform shapes. Most physical overlord changes with hair and skin tend to not go away, so depending on who you make a contract with it’s either a fun perk or a sort of scar.

Once again, not sure if I will be continuing with anymore in this specific lineup, but if I do end up posting more of these I really hope you like those too! 💣

[twoa-plus]

dissecting stanford pines and finding organs that don’t exist but like in a metaphorical way

that’s it that’s the title i’m going with. this is a long one folks o7

most of this isn’t sourced or canon at all it’s just personal interpretation/headcanon/whatever else u wanna call it, but!! since more people are seeing my deranged gravity falls ramblings now i figure i should probably give some perspective as to why i like/defend ford as much as i do

(in my other gf posts i do try to stick to canon to back up whatever point i’m making - this is just about my personal opinion of ford as a character, and should be able to be thrown out in regards to my other posts)

so for some background/setup/whatever (it’s important i promise bear with me), different people have different instinctual responses to anxiety/stress. i come from a family (genetics are fun) where the default response is to start (metaphorically ofc) biting and hissing like a cornered animal. this doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any actual hatred or malice or anything towards the people that end up getting scratched - they might just be at the wrong place at the wrong time, they might’ve done something super minor and insignificant that added on to a preexisting pile of stress, etc etc

i cannot stress enough that i am not saying this is ok. you dont need me to tell you that hurting people who don’t deserve it is a bad thing, lol. what i am saying though is that sometimes people can kind of suck for reasons other than just genuinely wanting everyone around them to be miserable

this is the last “background” part i swear BUT another thing thats less genetic and more just me being weird is that i’m the type of person where like. any minor environmental change can really stress me out lol. like even just reorganizing my desk can be pretty emotionally taxing

SO. finally back on topic. stanford pines. i see a lot of the behavior/patterns i just described in him. like i’ve spent my entire life around people like this, and while i understand why a lot of people see him as just some asshole, i can’t help but see him as a guy who’s just kinda going through it lol

just talking about the more recent events as of the series, he’s just spent 30 years god knows where doing and seeing god knows what, he has an abusive ex who wants to murder him and his entire family (plus the whole dimension, really), and in the three decades he’s been gone the entire world - including his own house - has changed and left him behind. add onto that that he went missing in 1982, way before we had all of the emotional/mental health resources we have now, we all saw what the stans’ childhood was like, and that ford is terrible with people - including, imo, himself. if there’s anybody out there who would have Feelings and not understand what they are or where they’re coming from or what to do about them, it’s this guy

this entire setup is the perfect circumstance for fear and anxiety and stress and uncertainty to all get translated into anger. a really big example of this, to me, is how he talks about dipper in journal 3. i’ve talked about this before somewhere so i’ll try to summarize as fast as i can lol

reading his initial entry about dipper would make u think he like. hates this kid lol. but i really don’t think he ever did - he was really excited to meet the kids in the show and already seemed to care about them just by virtue of existing, and his opinion on dipper in journal 3 seems to do a complete 180 pretty quickly which ,,, doesn’t really fit ford as a character. like i love the man but that guy can hold a GRUDGE

here’s how it reads to me:

ford gets back to his home dimension after 30 years and everything is different

he’s subconsciously kind of struggling with the fact that he doesn’t really have a “home” anymore - the sense of familiarity and comfort that would normally come with the word is gone. (i specify that it’s subconscious because, like i said earlier, i do not get the vibe that he’s particularly aware of his own emotions)

he finds out that journal 3 - something he made with his own two hands and considers part of his life’s work - has also changed in the decades he’s been gone. this adds to the feeling of unfamiliarity with the world around him

it’s easier to blame that “final straw” and say that he’s just upset about his work being tampered with rather than address the actual root of the problem, so that’s exactly what he does. this still doesn’t mean that there’s any genuine hatred towards dipper. anger in the moment, yeah, but not hatred

again, this is entirely personal interpretation, and i completely understand if u don’t see it like this!! this is just a pattern of thoughts/behavior that i’m very familiar with, so it’s easy for me to apply it to situations like this even if it’s not really part of the canon

i also think there’s a big problem in this fandom with just ,, not seeing ford as a Person with Emotions? idk how to explain it but it feels like people expect him to always know exactly what to do in every situation just bc he’s old and academically smart. like whenever another character does something objectively bad it’s “well there were extenuating circumstances,” (which is usually true and i agree !!) but ford never really seems to get that treatment. if he does something bad it’s just because he sucks

a big example of this i think is the fight between him and stan (y’know the “you ruined my life”/“you ruined your own life”). you cannot look me dead in the eyes and, in full seriousness, with the context of everything ford was going through with bill at the time, say that he was fully mentally/emotionally stable during that conversation. “oh so you’re blaming stan-“ NO!!! stan was also going through it!!! that’s the entire point - they’re both people with their own lives and emotions and everything else that comes with that, they had very human reactions to their respective situations, and they both ended up hurt!! hopefully i’m explaining this right but i just don’t like it when people pin everything on ford, like there was a lot going on and at the end of the day he’s just a human

wasn’t really sure how to work this in so i’ll just put it here - i don’t think ford ever truly hated stan, either. familial bonds are complicated, and there can be a whole lot of anger towards someone without true hatred being present. i briefly mentioned the stans’ childhood sucking earlier, and i don’t just mean stanley - it’s easier to pinpoint him as a victim of abuse/neglect, but that doesn’t mean ford had it great either. their parents (specifically filbrick, but caryn didn’t exactly do a fantastic job with them either) expected nothing of stan and the world of ford, both of which would weigh heavily on any child. plus, ford being the favorite doesn’t mean all of his emotional needs were met - filbrick seeing him as an opportunity to make money doesn’t mean he was suddenly an emotionally present and caring father towards him. WCT wasn’t just an opportunity for ford to go be a famous scientist or whatever - it was a chance for his father to love him, something both of the stans desperately wanted. (WCT was also on the opposite side of the country from where they lived but i’m sure that’s completely unrelated !!!)

do i think stan deserved anything that happened to him after the science fair incident? no, absolutely not, he was a child. do i think it was right of ford to just stand there as his brother got thrown out? no, absolutely not - but he was a child too. as for them not speaking for a decade after that, like i mentioned earlier ford can hold a grudge like no other. (this doesn’t just apply to stan, either, ford dedicated half of his life to trying to kill his ex lmao.) i think ford’s ability to hold on to anger like that is actually a pretty major part of/flaw in his personality, but again, anger - even the strongest, most long-lived of it - is not synonymous with hatred. stan, who ford has always gone to for help when he truly needed it, it not what ford’s hatred looks like. bill, who ford actively wants to die, is

anyways!! i never know how to close these things lol. ig in summary i just see ford’s behavior (in the show at least) as more of a sign of internal struggle rather than like ,, genuinely hating the people around him and wanting their lives to suck. did/does he have an ego problem? absolutely. is he incapable of love and human connection? no. is he immune to manipulation/abuse/neglect/etc and everything that comes with that? also no

he’s an interdimensional criminal why can’t he go to the theraprism. i think he should

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for deciding to not hang out with a certain friend group because of what they confessed to me?

🫡

^ to recognize

based off the title some of you guys might say im TA and thats okay because I think so too but I just want some opinions.

So my (14F) friends G(14F) M(14F) and K(15M) have been friends for like 5+ years. We're ride or die with each other as cringe as that may sound, but last year in 8th grade I became friends with S(14NB) K(14F) and F(14NB) and at first, I thought they were actually really sweet people!! But like as we got closer they would start confessing stuff to me. The worst of it being that they smoked weed and vaped. Now, here's part of the reason why I could be TA. I hate when people vape or smoke because my family has a history of smoking cigarettes and a bunch of my family members have died because of some lung issues. So when they told me I tried changing the subject and started talking to them less. I told G,M, and K about it cuz I didn't wanna feel guilty for not talking to them anymore over the smoking thing. They said it was understandable that I didn't wanna talk to them because of the issue I have with smoking, but I should at least tell them why so I don't just ghost them. I will definitely tell them but I'm scared they're gonna think I just don't like them and are making up an excuse to stop talking to them.

TLDR: i stopped talking to people because they told me they smoke and I don't like when people smoke.

please be honest don't sugarcoat anything this is really making me feel guilty

What are these acronyms?

[pacifymebby]

Abandonment Issues / Billy + Stu

Billy

🥧 Because you're so scared that people will leave you, you are also scared to get close to anyone

🔪 So despite Billy's best efforts to get close to you, you're shut off and you just won't let him in

🥧 Its fine when you're just friends, you're so close and you trust him, and he feels like you're all his... But then when feelings get involved... The moment you realise you maybe like him as more than just a friend...

🔪 Thats when your doubts and paranoid thoughts tend to kick in, thats when you shut down.

🥧 So over night you seem to change, you start pushing him away, making up excuses not to spend so much time with him...

🔪 If Billy wasn't so persistent that would have been the end of things, but Billy has his own issues... He's possesive, terrified of being left, of losing you... So he will not let that happen

🥧 He'd double down and root twice as hard for you, he'd make up more reasons to be around you, he'd keep saying things like "you know you can talk to me about anything yeah..."

🔪 And then when he finally snaps, he does it quiet and calm... Climbs in through your bedroom window one evening all, "forgive me for the intrusion y/n but I couldn't sleep... See i was lying there awake thinking about you..." "Smooth Billy..." he ignores your sarcasm and just carries on, "I was trying to work out whats wrong with you...cause somethings chanhed recently and i don't understand why... We went from being best friends you know... We were building to something real good, all the trailers were released and people you know, they couldn't wait to see the full feature but then... well... The movie never came out, all those trailers got pulled from the cinemas, the production company slashed the budget and well... It feels like you don't wanna know me anymore..."

🥧 You want to be cold with him, you try to be cold with him... "you never stop to think maybe i don't..." he'd get mad if it wasn't such a terrible lie, instead he just looks at you with those sad puppy eyes and reaches out to you.

🔪 "No, no it isn't that... Cause you might not wanna know me anymore doll but i still know you... Its something else..."

🥧 And you can't ignore those puppy eyes. You can't keep lying when you can see the hurt on his face so you bite the bullet and admit how you really feel...

🔪"I'm sorry Billy I'm just... Whenever i get too close to someone i ruin them... Everything gets all fucked up and they leave or it all just..."

🥧 He'd try to cut you off when you get upset, he hates seeing you cry and usually he'd be plotting to kill whoever was responsible for those tears, but today its just you and him

🔪 So he catches your chin between his thumb and finger and tilts your face up to look at his.. "hey, hey... Don't cry y/n..."

🥧 Thing is he knows exactly how you feel, he too is terrified of being left alone by those he cares about most in the world. Right then he wants nothing more than to hold you tight but he knows he needs to talk to you... Tell you how things are, how they are going to be

🔪 Because he isn't ever going to let you go, not now he knows you definitely feel the same... And lets face it, even if he hadn't been sure you did... He wouldn't have let you go.

🥧 "I understand y/n, i know you're scared, i get scared sometimes too yeah? But you don't need to be scared with me... This.." he'd point between you and him, "nothings gonna ruin this, and i will never leave you, i promise okay, youre safe with me..."

🔪 The relationship would be intense, you'd stick to one another like glue. You'd rarely be apart, he'd always have a hand on you and if you had a class separate to him or you did have to be away from eachother, he'd make sure you were wearing his sweater or shirt so that you wouldn't really be without him and other people would know you were his.

🥧 It would be a ride or die, you and him against the world kind of love and he'd remind you of that all the time. "Nobody understands me like you do, nobody understands you like i do, its just you and me babe, youre all that matters to me in this world..."

🔪 He would be very protective of you.. He'd want to know why you have these issues, what happened to you, who didn't love you enough? He'd be bitter about it when he found out, he'd never forgive those people who had made you feel like you're easy to abandon.

🥧He'd definitely kill someone to prove his dedication to you... If he had to... So don't make him prove it...

Stu

🍒 Isn't every going to give you the chance to doubt his feelings for you... He never leaves you alone because he's one clingy clingy motherfucker. He doesn't have abandonment issues of his own, more that he has possession issues... Once youre his youre his and he doesnt want to let go of you for even a second.

🔪 If you're hanging out with your friends outside school he's got his arms around you or youre sitting in his lap... If you're walking together he's picking you up, slinging you over his shoulder, spinning you around whatever... The boys just always physically present

🍒 He doesn't always think about what he says though and so often his lack of tact can cause you upset... When he makes flirtasious jokes about other girls, when he makes stupid comments about the cheer squad... Thats all they are to him, just jokes... And he makes them because the idea of him leaving you for anyone is so unbelievable and stupid to him that he doesn't think anyone could ever believe him for a second...

🔪 But the comments play on your mind and one day he makes the joke and you don't laugh, you shrug him off and cut class to go home early... He doesn't realise what he's done but Billy and Randy are just "Its called sensitivity man, try using your brain every once in awhile..." "yeah man girls don't really like it when you joke about cheating on them..." "Moron..." "what she knows I'm joking?" "yeah she seemed real entertained fuckrag..."

🍒 So he rolls his eyes, dramatically sighing before following after you, shouting for you to slow down, you know digging himself a hole in his endearing way.

🔪 When he gets to you he wraps his arms around you tight and rests his chin on your shoulder, hugging you from behind so that you can't escape...

🍒 At first he's still joking with you, layering it on thick, begging for your fogriveness but you can tell its still all a joke to him... But it isn't a joke to you

🔪 He realises he's gone too far when you start crying and his whole demeanour changes, he would immediately stop laughing, spin you round in his arms and hold your face in his hands looking at you with all the seriousness in the world (or as much as someone like stu can muster at any given moment)

🍒 "Hey baby don't cry i was just joking around with you baby girl i was just joking you know i love you..." he'd carry on talking like that, drying your eyes and kissing your face wherever he could until you stopped crying.

🔪 You sniffling "you shouldn't fuckin joke about that shit..." "well why not baby, you know I'd never give you up for anyone or anything you're mine forever..." when you just look at him he realises... You don't know that, you don't know just how much you mean to him... So he says it again.

🍒 "baby girl you are mine forever." he'd hold you tight against his chest cradling your head with his hand, pressing you to him and kissing your forehead. He'd just keep saying it until you understood.

🔪 And from then on he doesn't make as many of those dumb jokes. Instead he acts extra possesive over you, wanting to spend every moment with you reminding you that you're his. Forever.

🍒 It would be sinister if he wasn't such a goof...

🔪 He gives you his necklace to wear and tells you never to take it off, it will remind you that you're his and it'll show everyone else that too.

🍒 Stu is always joking that he'll kill anyone who tries to come between you... But they're just jokes. Right.

[eiraeths]

more assorted 141 headcanons

idk what really is considered a trigger warning or a content warning but there’s mentions of ocd tendencies and trauma responses. also the impending feeling of doom that comes with being a solider at war.

soap is a dirty charlatan. going back to my previous headcanon of him being a punk teenager he might of shoplifted from big companies and what not anyway since he’s an adult with responsibilities he doesn’t do that anymore. instead, it turned into making elaborate schemes whether it be a game of cards or pilfering random items from people only to give it back to them to see the shock or confusion on their face

ghost can pickpocket. him and soap once had a long game of who could steal the most stuff off of each other’s persons before the other notices. price had to put a stop to it after they got a little too over-zealous with it

ghost can sew and uses this skill for evil. he find out someone he doesn’t like is superstitious and he’s making a miniature effigy of them and terrorizing them with it. not in an explicit way either only implicit. probably makes it look just like them and leaves it where they can find it and its just mini them in a hazardous situation. no one but price knows it’s him.

gaz is super into formula one racing. he gets soap into it and tries to get price into it but price would rather watch football/soccer. price will still watch it with them but doesn’t understand a damn thing going on

soap is good with cars. bro is a full on mechanic. this may be because he wanted to see how many different ways he could turn a vehicle into a bomb and got really into the mechanical aspects instead. he still figured out the bomb stuff though

soap is very number oriented. counts ceiling tiles and passing cars religiously. may of stemmed from running out of bullets before. this could be seen as a trauma response compulsion or ocd compulsions tbh. feel like its not really an active thing he does but rather an action without conscious thought behind it

gaz once wore eyeliner and everyone short circuited because god DAYUM he’s hot. it was definitely lower lid heavy and pointed down or followed the tilt of his eyes

ghost is a bird freak and can mimic a lot of different bird calls. oh side snippet time y’all know that nursery rhyme about counting magpies? the one for sorrow two for joy? anyway thats very ghoap coded now i gotta write something with that. anyway ghost uses his powers of mimicry (its echolalia and we all know it is) to distract enemies in the field. like the assassins creed whistle except its just bird whistles. he definitely loves infodumping to the 141 when different birds cross their path. when soap learned about birds like great tits or blue tits he had a field day. ghost still hasn’t told him about other birds with vulgar sounding names for that very reason.

a nod back to my previous headcanon about soap collecting pretty rubble from explosions, the team adds onto this for him when they can. price finds him rubble with specific shapes (there was in fact a cock shaped one and price had an internal debate if he really wanted to give it to him knowing what it’d spark. never in his life had he heard so many dick jokes in such a short amount of time. he considered separating gaz and soap because of it. ghost ended up doing it for him by manhandling soap into a different seat and staring at him until he closed his mouth) gaz gets him rubble with specific patterns on them like mosaics and tile. ghost tries to find him specific colors whether it be one of each color of the rainbow or a single color with various shades and hues

ghost separates stuff by color. he mostly wears black but also has some clothes that are like dark blue or green. i don’t see him wearing warm colors at all no matter the shade

price once received a present of cigars from around the world and it’s one of his most prized possessions. even if he sticks to one brand (og price smoked villa claras so we’ll go with that)

gaz and soap make plans to build a race car despite knowing they’ll never get the time to do so. an entire journal of soap’s is dedicated to this car. its got blueprints of the body, motor, and electrical system.

ghost makes soap a quilt with the mactavish clan pattern (i forgot what the actual term is. tartan?) being the key focus and soap cries

all of them try to carry gum for soap (bro definitely got an oral fixation)

okay thats all for headcanons for now. any of y’all got headcanons for price or gaz i can steal and add onto cause its harder for me to come up with mundane things for them

[greatgoogly-moogly]

Yuujiro is all like

"You make me feel so mad and angry and like I wanna punch something ALL THE TIME"

In tears

"And the worst part is... even like that i cant stop thinking about you when you're away, like, like you've just become a constant in my live I can't life without anymore,, it's horrible and I need you to stop it"

And aizo can't do anything but look at him speechless, heart tight

He knows what yuujiro means, he feels the same asphyxiation way, like breathing near him is hard but breathing away is impossible, like he can't fight the urge to pull him in unless he punches him away, literally sometimes, just to feel bad after. It's a feeling he thought he was getting used to, like maybe this is not unbearable, until of course yuujiro made it, like he always does, sometimes he feels like yuujiro was put in his way specifically to piss him off to no end, to tire him until he has no other option but to fall to his feet, and thats how he feels right now, yuujiro still holding on to his shirt, now stained with tears after screaming,

"I get it" he finally said solemnly, not yet sure how to go about this, because the only thing he wants to do is hug him, make the tears go away even if he was the reason for them in the first place

"Im the same" with a watery smile "even right now you're managing to make me feel things I have never imagined, it makes me want to crawl off my skin you know"

A sniff and yuujiro slowly looks up, eyes filled with desperation and tiredness and wonder,

"Yeah i know"

Aizo against his better judgment reaches both arms and wraps them around his partner, and that is the only qualifying word for his relationship, because he still can't understand how he can spend all his waking hours with or thinking about a person, telling him things he hasn't tell anyone else, and still feel like there's a mile between them, not even sure if he is allowed to cross it, because he would sure like to

"Im sorry" he hates that word, makes him feel dirty and exposed and knows this is the time he's meant it the most. He pulls yuujiro closer, mentally begging to every God he doesn't pull away this time, let him just have this time

"I know im rude and annoying and too much and sometimes it feels like you make me worse, but" he doubts "but I like me when I'm with you"

Yuujiros startled by the words, with a sniff he looks into aizos eyes, still not letting go of the embrace, then an empatuc smile

"If you think youre rude i can't imagine what I am"

"But I like me better when I'm with you too"

"I like you when you're with me too"

Aizo doesnt hold back and without the chance to backtrack his words he feels a nervous yuujiro lean in, eyes lidded but a small glint of fear peaks out, that's the last he sees before he closes the distance and presses his lips against yuujiro's

He gets lost in the sensation, he feels a noose in his chest loosen, this is what he's been searching for all this time, this is what he was running away and punching his way out of, just to realize that really, why would he choose anything but this?, he holds yuujiros head like he's something precious, and feels him tremble under, just to hold his shirt tighter and deepen the kiss, almost with hunger and anger and desperation and urgency, like he might drown if he doesn't, wich ironically makes aizo feel like he's drowning himself, he doesn't mind tho, as long as yuujiro holds him he might be as well as invincible.

Yuujiro is the one to let go, even if he clearly doesn't look happy about it, aizo feels like he just woke up and the only thing he can do is stare into yuujiros everything,- still not taking in enough- they're both panting but yuujiro looks at him like a predator and before he can make his mind about if he should run away or prepare for a punch, his lips are captured again.

I want to say first that I'm really high and I was watching the last stage mv and that scene showed up and my hands just moved by themselves and wrote this so any mistake or straight up nonsense can't be held against me. Okay.

Anyways I might do an actually fanfic about this hehe

[gino-dino]

I don't really get why so many people here are getting so worked up about what Toto said in that paragraph because like, is he wrong?

There is a time for every athlete when they are past their peak in performance, doesn't mean they are bottom of barrel all of the sudden, but also not top of the game anymore. Calling it "shelf life" may be a bit poor wording but ultimatly not wrong. Now, has that time come for Lewis jet? I don't know. But really considering his age, a switch in the driver line-up would have happen in the next few years anyway in my opinion.

Every professional sports team has a junior programm in the end for the very purpose of developing new talents that are supposed to replace the old and established on day. And as a team principal or coach or whatever you call it, you have to oversee that and plan ahead for the future and one day just have to make that decision to switch it up. Now, Lewis took that decision into his own hands (whatever reason he might have for that) and i understand why Toto would be at least a bit relieved that Lewis made that step himself, considering this situation of Lewis and Merc separating would have happend sooner or later anyway. It's like when you're in a relationship with someone and you're not actually unhappy but also both know that there is no long term future ahead for you together anymore. Neither of you wants to hurt the other person but one of you has to make the step forwars and say "i like you, but this isn't working anymore" and i would be so relieved if i don't have to be that person because after so many years together that is a difficult and awkward talk to have even if you are a professional.

Could the whole thing be worded a bit better? (and the whole situation since the start of the year) Definitely yes. But really it's like i said in the beginning, i don't get why people here act like Toto said something unbelievably wrong or terrible because ultimatly thats not really the case.

There is no big evil conspiracy against Lewis to bully him out of the team (way to much money and publicity in this sport nowadays to just purposely fuck over your driver that won multiple WDC with you). The car is just not competitive, (most likely developement mistakes very early on that they can't propery resolve without something else poppig up) and probably won't be next year and Lewis is rightfully frustrated about it and just wants to make the most out of the last part of his career (plus the chance to drive for ferrari) and thats what led to this situation, just business and career decisions in the end.

On a last note, i think it's a bit disrespectful and infantilising that people believe someone like LH would just put his head down and keep his mouth shut when there really were ill intentions of the team against him. He is a grown man that is capable of standing up for himself and has the self-confidence and greatness to do so.

[socksandbuttons]

I’m trying to understand the lore of the bean au,

So is it after eclipse 💀 but came back to life?? If so what happened when eclipse and lunar saw each other again and how did the others react to eclipse being smol

well it kinda goes along with uh whats the word. its a constantly developing story/au so like. im getting there. we truly dont really have a beginning other than yeah! It's after eclipse died in the show. Eclipse is revived. I do sort of actually touch a bit on this in the one comic with KC and Eclipse actually. Im pretty sure. It's not met with welcoming arms when they realize no... this IS their eclipse. Lunar especially is hands down not having this, understandably everyone else as well. I can guarantee the dawning horror of Lunar realizing this is the one who killed him is... wild. Not fun. No ones happier about the situation but KC gets more PLOT INVOLVEMNT IN THE SHOW at this point. cause like.. he just teaches star power and leaves in canon. He's bound to come back and check on them all. YKNOW... WITH THE NEW BODY TOTALLY PROMISED. Actually yeah thats probably another reason he comes back too. Anyway, while I wish to draw the first meeting its been liek a month since i got the first ask or soemthing about that so. Eclipse being somewhat threatening, and a bit deranged. But also hes small now... so the threatening factor is lessened but they dont know... if he has star power still or not (he doesnt). But Lunars panicking theyre... pretty close to blastin' him again. However whats more unexpected is Eclipse actively starts to panic. Something that just kind of goes from being a egotistical lil shit whos trying to monologue but kinda just... asking not to die now. (Refreshly revived and seeing the people who killed oyu plus someone you killed, eclipses tendency to hide stuff etc. then understanding you dont have power anymore plus you might die again and no ones gonna listen to you. all a lot of thoughts in one go) Thankfully KC is there and just kinda goes and yoinks that (literally carrying him out of there as Moon and Sun watch with uh... more pity and conflicted looks now. Just... a mix of emotions of disbelief, hate and pity. Lunar's been escorted right out by earth by this point. Likely KC hearing lunar screaming brought him by a bit faster.) There ya go! Words that may or not get a comic to that. Idk. im focused on another thing in the story rn.

[quitealotofsodapop]

haha I love the "slow-boiled stone egg" name for this au thats adorable! I have some to chew on now thank you! I will be drawing some funny moments for this au now <3

[Many foes back off just by the tired firey glare in the King's eyes.] Wukong's presence is enough to scare most off, and the most of the rest who think about still trying end up taking one look at him and just knowing it's not worth it XD

[Wukong never managed to tell Macaque about the Egg in that lifetime.] it breaks his heart. later, the fact he never knew breaks Macaque's heart too, he'd always wanted a family with his king

[he's convinced that the Egg's presence at the Samadhi Fire was what caused the Rings to Split and hit Ao Lie.] I didn't mention it in my first post but it was part of my thought process that the stone egg started "kicking" mid-ritual, and try as he might to keep control of the situation the pain from that is what causes Wukong to slip allowing the creation of the fourth ring.

[By isolating himself, he accidentally causes his body to *turn down the heat* and extend the process even longer.] awww no, nore isolation! he's gonna be so mad when he realizes he prolonged the whole thing more. but maybe it's better that way, it wouldn't be good to have the egg be born while his mental health is that bad and he doesn't have a support network. egg is like, "no troop? no family? not suitable conditions, I'm staying in here for now". [he geniunely believed that keeping MK whilst the Stone Egg was still draining life force could kill the cub. So SWK is forced to give the little toddler up to save his life.] on the same note it's also (unfortunately) for the better, he wasn't in the right mind to care for a kid, and ebven if that isn't the direct reason he acknowledges as he reason to give MK up the fact he recognizes he might not be safe for a kid right now and does things to ensure MK still gets a good life says a lot. bonus points if he still watches over MK as he grows and giving up MK leads him to trying to better his mental health for the sake of his unborn infant.

[When him and MK finally reunite, its a little awkward but MK immediately understands the reason for the Monkey King's retirement.] wait, did MK remember he was with SWK first here or was just "meeting my fav legend irl" kind of awkward? also MK assuming it's a bad break up situation is super funny when you remember that it was his break up with Macaque that led to Wukong's body finally reaching peak egg making conditions. in a way, it is a bad break up situation, just not in the way that MK is assuming.

[being "like this longer than even Lao Tzu's mother". He returns to Pigsy's that evening silent with a horrified look on his face.] SWK def brags that he now holds the record for the longest pregnancy from any immortal. when MK goes back to Pigsy's the othres notice, and MK having already told the others why SWK wasn't doing hero work himself anymore (with SWK's permission ofc) explains what Wukong told him and the whole shop is silently horrified/very sympathetic the rest of the night.

[New Years does not go smoothly. The Spider Queen can sense that there's a new life within the King, but she decides its an issue for after the takeover.] Wukong is very surprised she doesn't immediately try and exploit the obvious weakness but she's like "I hate you but I still have some honor ape" but still goes and drains him. he's very surprised to see LBD present, and her being there when he's caught is how she learns he's carrying a stone egg. her having this information freaks him out, especially when it doesn't take her long to start making passive threats. after the spider queen debacle SWK def make a really quick tri to the south sea for a check up with Kuan Yin to make sure being drained like that didn't hurt the egg.

[DBK frees himself, not only from the fear of losing his wife and his son, but also out of fury that Wukong had been hiding his condition for so long!!] LBD approaches SWK who is tied up close to DBK, so DBK hears the whole conversation, including the parts about Wukong's condition. he spends the whole time he's trying to escape grilling Wukong about keeping it secret from even him.

[Any resentment surrounding the Bull's imprisonment is forgiven due to a certain offer... + PIF demands a proper baby shower when she hears about it from her excited husband later.] it is surprisingly easy to get back into the bull family's good graces after imprisoning DBK with that single question, as well as making up for not telling them. DBK picks up red son and runs back home super excited, he busts down the doors to his family's castle and just yells "DARLING WE'RE GONNA BE GODPARENTS" to both PIF and RS's confusion until he explains everything.

[Macaque has... suspicions when he and Wukong finally meet again in S1. He makes a comment about the king being "out of shape", but becomes concerned when his Sun refuses to fight in any way that leaves his stomach exposed.] Macaque's "comprehension of all" be coming in clutch here baby! he's instantly concerned about Wukong so closely protecting a certain part of his bidy, that usually means there's a vulnrability, a big one, but it's only when he's laying in bed later that night that it occurs to him just what that vulbrability may have been. it causes many sleepless nights after that, driving himself insane trying to figure out if he;s right or not with the information he has at hand.

["The Shadow Play" becomes more a plan to trap the Monkie Kid gang for answers. MK spills the beans. Macaque stares blankly for a minute before yelling in frustration. It's too much emotional baggage to process right now!] the endless speculation becomes too much and he just needs answers, now. but with that question out of the way there's a couple more lined right up. how far a long is he? who;s the other parent? when did it happen? but ofc he ends up not having the chance to answer those questions before LBD decides to shake things up some more.

[now with the additional threat that she will harm the Stone Egg if Macaque fails her again...] even without all the answers he wants about the stone egg Macaque knows he can't let that happen, he may have hated Wukong for a while and they have yet to even begin reconciling but he would never do anything to harm Wukong's baby if he ever had one. he wasn't going to bring an infant into their conflict. but Wukong doesn't know that. he knows Wukong doesn't know that from the way he hunches in on himself to protect his stomach the second Macaque's voice is heard above the airship. Wukong is at first terrified when Macaque gets involved, he hates the idea of having to choose between him or his unborn infant again, but Wukong already knows what he'll choose if he has to. but Macaque barely even acknowledges him, specifically doesn't target him, a noteworthy thing since Macaque's quarrel is most personal with the sage. SWK doesn't complain, he doesn't want to have to choose again.

[She tries to offer protection for the Stone Egg in exchange for the world - but Wukong refuses to answer and gets the drop on him.] clever considering his love for children in general let alone his own, but what good is having his little one alone when he so desperately wants to share that love with his family? [Macaque breaks the King from his possession by casually placing a curious hand on his swollen stomach, smiling in a way Wukong hadn't seen in centuries. "I know," is all that is said as the two monkeys allow their foreheads to touch.] Macaque is very mindful not to do anything that would risk the stone egg's life during the fight because LBD doesn't care to protect SWK's stomach the way he himself did back in s1. still, Wukong was so stressed by what was happening while he was possessed that Macaque's gentleness+pregnancy hormones causes him to ust start bawling his eyes out. loud, ugly crying tears of joy and relief.

[She did not count upon the Egg recognising her as a yummy source of spirtual energy as she was possessing it's parent. LBD soul is literally devoured as the Stone Egg responds to Wukong and Macaque's reconcillation.] the mental image of the stone egg's magic just chomping down on LBD's soul is super funny, stone egg be like "you hurt bama and then try and leave like nothing? i think not! nom". SWK sensing the egg absorbing some powerful magic and is just like "oh gods".

[Until the newly unpossessed Monkey King doubles over in pain and cries for the Bodhisattva to help him. Guanyin is on the scene in seconds, glaring at her little brother angrily. Half the gang stare jaws dropped at what is happening while the rest are panicking.] the stone egg go the last of the magic it needed and later during the celebrations felt that SWK finally had his whole family present and didn't feel isolated anymore and was like "huh, guess it's time, is it? okay" and that's that. with how close he was to popping these days Wukong had Guanyin on speed dial in case of labor finally occuring, comes in handy now with how quick they shows up but they're not happy with Wukong for putting himself and the egg in so much danger with what was happening with LBD. he shouldn't have been fighting her! he shouldn't have been fighting at all! and the smadhi fire again? they're gonna skin Wukong.

[After many hours of painful labor with Macaque clutching his hand for support, Wukong *finally* greets his baby for the first time.] Macaque is def worried on a few occasions that his hand is gonna break, but he ends up only losing feeling in his hand for a while. it's also bruised and sore for a while but it's the price he's willing to pay to be present for the stone egg's arrival. Wukong, holding his new born infant after the egg hatches def joke that she "kept him waiting".

[Her dark fur is hard to ignore. As well as the ice-blue eyes that stare between the two monkeys with wonder.] ice blue eyes as a side affect of LBD's soul getting devoured at the end there, but what if the dark fur is actually because of SWK constantly yearning for Macaque to come back after their fight during the early stages of his pregnancy, SWK's desire and longing worsened by hormones causing her to shift in appearance to fit not just her parent but his wants. [And the little excited chirps she makes that sing the tune of Wukong's favorite songs. Everyone in the Monkie Kid gang, the Demon Bull family, and any present celestials are crying with joy.] I headcanon Wukong hums a lot, so his infant picking up on the sounds of the tunes he hummed in the later stages of his pregnancy is very cute, but he probably thinks every sound she makes is like music even when not trying to mimic him. he bursts into tears the first time she chirps. Macaque def cries at her having dark fur like him cause it makes him feel more like a bio parent. DBK tries to hold it together but starts crying when she can fit into his cupped palm with ease. Kuanyin cries and gives Wukong a hug when he holds her for the first time.

[Gold Star comes down from Heaven in person to bless her arrival.] he is thanked for his blessing and also thanked for being to busy to read the specifics of Wukong's imprisonment, seeing as if he had Wukong wouldn't be holding the most precious little furball in the universe right now.

[Her eye lazers come in a little later than expected... singeing Azure Lion's fur as he goes to take the Jade Emperor's throne. All present, including members of the Brotherhood, laugh at the coincidence.] it's hard not to laugh given the context, there ends up being a joke mad that every new Jade Emperor will have stone monkey lazer eyes shot at them when they try and sit on the throne for the first time. Wukong is insanely proud.

[Yuebei's whole family are willing to *destroy* the divine animals if even dare touch a single hair on her little head.] Azure would likely try deluding himself into believing that he, Wukong, and Yuebei could be a perfect family once justice is brought to Heaven, or try to blackmail the MKrew. or both. you can imagine that won't go over with anyone too well.

[The retrieve Yuebei after they enter the palace and see the three usurpers beaten to a pulp. The infant monkey rolling around on her butt as she giggles. Azure begs the crew to "please take her back".] Azure was so busy fantasizing he didn't notice Yuebei starting to get playful, and playful+super power do not mix. she starts tugging at him to play and the rest is history.

[Wukong and Macaque are so proud of their super-delayed baby girl. :3] they will always be super proud ;)

sorta mirror post to this one.

[it breaks his heart. later, the fact he never knew breaks Macaque's heart too, he'd always wanted a family with his king]

Macaque having the mega-regret when he finds out all those years later about the Stone Egg, feeling like a dad who wasn't around for their (ex)partner and unborn baby and barely having enough time to adjust when baby arrives.

[I didn't mention it in my first post but it was part of my thought process that the stone egg started "kicking" mid-ritual, and try as he might to keep control of the situation the pain from that is what causes Wukong to slip allowing the creation of the fourth ring.]

Ooh he'd feel so bad for allowing the slip-up to happen cus of being distracted by the Egg moving (likely responding to the Samadhi fire like it would consumable dao like; "Hey, can I eat that- OOO NO SPICY!!!"). Whats worse is that his slip-up indirectly hurt his baby's godfather, and nearly killed his master :(

Wukong's mental health was not good after the ritual, no matter how greatful the Ironbull couple were for the safety of their son. Wukong risked his own baby for them, and the couple don't learn this until centuries later.

[on the same note it's also (unfortunately) for the better, he wasn't in the right mind to care for a kid, and ebven if that isn't the direct reason he acknowledges as he reason to give MK up the fact he recognizes he might not be safe for a kid right now and does things to ensure MK still gets a good life says a lot. bonus points if he still watches over MK as he grows and giving up MK leads him to trying to better his mental health for the sake of his unborn infant.]

Bonus sad detail: Wukong probably didn't need to give up MK. The Stone Egg would have sensed MK as a fellow baby monkey, and hence "troop/sibling, no eat". But Wukong could not take that chance with the limited knowledge he had. He'd rather silently watch over MK being raised by other parents, than risk the Egg's magic killing the older cub. And ofc he was in a mental health pit and just *couldn't* raise MK on his own in that state.

[Wukong is very surprised she doesn't immediately try and exploit the obvious weakness but she's like "I hate you but I still have some honor ape" but still goes and drains him.] + [after the spider queen debacle SWK def make a really quick tri to the south sea for a check up with Kuan Yin to make sure being drained like that didn't hurt the egg.]

Ohhhh, imagine post-New Years the Spider gang hears some furious knocking at the entrance to the sewer-cave. Spider Queen turns, only to see Guanyin/Kuan Yin glaring her down like the vengeful goddess she is.

Quanyin: "You hurt my little brother and his unborn baby."

[even without all the answers he wants about the stone egg Macaque knows he can't let that happen, he may have hated Wukong for a while and they have yet to even begin reconciling but he would never do anything to harm Wukong's baby if he ever had one. he wasn't going to bring an infant into their conflict. but Wukong doesn't know that.he knows Wukong doesn't know that from the way he hunches in on himself to protect his stomach the second Macaque's voice is heard above the airship. Wukong is at first terrified when Macaque gets involved, he hates the idea of having to choose between him or his unborn infant again, but Wukong already knows what he'll choose if he has to.]

Ohohoho the spicy conflict. Wukong not wanting to choose his baby's safety over Macaque again, not knowing that this time Macaque knows about the Egg and is trying his damn best to ignore Wukong so he won't have to.

Instead of the infamous "OH WUKONG!" while flying overhead at the end of S2, Macaque instead announces hos presence to MK specifically. Wukong and the gang are confused when Mac is actively trying to pretend Wukong isn't there until it clicks that he knows.

[clever considering his love for children in general let alone his own, but what good is having his little one alone when he so desperately wants to share that love with his family?]

Wukong gets the drop on him cus it's such a paradoxial offer. If he agrees, his baby will be a lonely little cub in the world like he was + he'll lose all his found family and the world at large. If he refuses, LBD might just decide to aim for the Egg directly, taking away something Wukong has been incubating/nuturing for centuries away from him and using the energy accumilated within to fuel her mech.

It gives him enough pause that LBD manages to target her possession onto him.

LBD does not think about feeding Wukong in this timeframe ofc, since in her mind he's an immortal self-sustaining puppet now. It's ultimately what leads to her demise...

[the mental image of the stone egg's magic just chompingdown on LBD's soul is super funny, stone egg be like "you hurt bama and then try and leave like nothing? i think not! nom". SWK sensing the egg absorbing some powerful magic and is just like "oh gods".]

Oh gosh I'm trying to think of how terrfying that would be to witness.

You know when the Mayor gets un-possessed by LBD? Think that, but the soul energy is getting eaten like a string of noodles and slurped into Wukong's body.

Yuebei, from deep within Wukong's body: *burp!* Everyone present: 0_o Wukong, very concerned/proud(?): "Uh... I guess the Egg... ate her???"

[the stone egg go the last of the magic it needed and later during the celebrations felt that SWK finally had his whole family present and didn't feel isolated anymore and was like "huh, guess it's time, is it? okay" and that's that.]

The Egg needed Wukong to gain a couple few more family members before it could "hatch" into Baby. XD

[I headcanon Wukong hums a lot, so his infant picking up on the sounds of the tunes he hummed in the later stages of his pregnancy is very cute, but he probably thinks every sound she makes is like music even when not trying to mimic him. he bursts into tears the first time she chirps. Macaque def cries at her having dark fur like him cause it makes him feel more like a bio parent. DBK tries to hold it together but starts crying when she can fit into his cupped palm with ease. Kuanyin cries and gives Wukong a hug when he holds her for the first time.]

The whole squad is crying.

The baby does a little series of chirps that Wukong swears sound like a piece of music he hummed to himself when alone. He can barely explain it until he just buries his face into his (!!!) baby's dark fluffy hair. She smells like new beginnings and Wukong has to constantly wipe his eyes to prevent his tears from wetting her little face.

Mac's crying cus he's finally coming to terms with why Wukong hurt him all those years ago + he's meeting his former mate's little cub who looks like him!! He makes a sound akin to a dying squeaky toy when he's asked how he thinks of little Yuebei.

DBK holds it together until he has Yuebei in his palm. Smaller than even Red Son was as a baby. DBK does one deep breath... and quickly has to pass the baby to PIF cus his eyes have turned into waterfalls. She's so small!!

Quanyin has cried many times in their life as a goddess... but holding Yuebei is the first time in a long time she makes a joyful snotty sob. The baby monkey is confused by the bodhisattva's reaction, and tries kissing her tears away. This only makes her honorary aunt/grandmother cry even harder with pride and joy.

Not to mention how hard MK cries when Wukong introduces him to Yuebei as "your honorary big brother". Mei has hundreds of timelapsed photos of MK as his face contorts into an ugly cry as he holds Yuebei for the first time.

[he is thanked for his blessing and also thanked for being to busy to read the specifics of Wukong's imprisonment, seeing as if he had Wukong wouldn't be holding the most precious little furball in the universe right now.]

When Gold Star arrives to deliver his blessing, he finally gets a good look at the baby and is like "Oh!!" His previous divine demeanor immediately drops like an old coat, cus this is the first Stone Monkey infant he's seen in thousands of years!! And she's so beautiful!! He reminds himself to say sorry to Wukong for not checking if the Buddha's punishment was Stone Monkey friendly. Wukong and Mac laugh him off cus the Gold Star of Venus is currently having his beard nearly yanked off by the playful newborn cub.

[it's hard not to laugh given the context, there ends up being a joke mad that every new Jade Emperor will have stone monkey lazer eyes shot at them when they try and sit on the throne for the first time. Wukong is insanely proud.]

Wukong most certainly is proud!! His little girl is already developing ways to defend herself! She's supposed to be kidnapped after all.

[Azure would likely try deluding himself into believing that he, Wukong, and Yuebei could be a perfect family once justice is brought to Heaven, or try to blackmail the MKrew. or both. you can imagine that won't go over with anyone too well.]

Azure: "What do you think little cub? Am I not a fine Emperor and guardian? Do you think your mother will warm to being at my side?" Yuebei, hungry, frustrated, and bored: *glares and makes a distinctly "Macaque"-sound as her ears glow* The Brotherhood: "..." Peng: "She must be hard to impress. As any princess ought to be." Azure: *feels a little better* :'3 Yellowtusk the Wise, internally: "I'm telling Guanyin. I am not going to be held responsible for what nonsense Azure gets up to regarding Wukong and the infant."

[Azure was so busy fantasizing he didn't notice Yuebei starting to get playful, and playful+super power do not mix. she starts tugging at him to play and the rest is history.] + [they will always be super proud ;)]

If Azure still had a tail, Yuebei would have taken it as a chew toy long before the MKrew (love that name) got there. And Wukong would have let her keep it as a trophy.

Hope you enjoy this slightly different version of the other ask! I hope I managed to get to some details I forgot/overlooked in the other one!