#that’s what i’m shooting for anyway

[aquaquadrant]

Gonna celebrate the new chapter by rereading all of HTP and hoping the new chapter is out by the time I'm done🤞🤞🤞

HAVE FUNNN i’ve got some errands and stuff to do today but it’ll prob be posted early this evening, around 6 pm EST 💃

[dipperscavern]

personally i want to be manhandled by the stark men,, its not a want atp its a need

yeah unfortunately this is a dire need. like, a carnal need. it’s up there with water.

i’ve already mentioned this (and here i am again), but cregan would definitely just steer you around himself (courtesy of squidward anons big beautiful brain). youre atop the wall for the first time, and the twists and turns are confusing. the ground isn’t smooth either, so you’re too busy with trying not to trip over your own feet you don’t see the nights watch brother about to briskly walk into you. you only notice when cregan sneaks an arm around your waist & pulls (effectively yanks) you to him and out of the brothers way. i need it so bad.

robb would do it without thinking honestly. his mind is swamped, running a million miles an hour as he moves about his tent. you aren’t really sure what he’s even trying to do, only having walked in a few minutes ago to this. you’re standing at his table, only trying to remain out of his way until you can help — but he needs to send a raven, and you’re standing in front of his ink. he wouldn’t even say anything, just slot his hands on your hips and move you to the side, mumbling a-

“Sorry, pretty.”

and you’re just ???? cause how did he??? dick. now. LMFAO SORRY

jon would do it while he’s on autopilot. while you’re both in a dangerous situation where his priorities are 1. you & 2. living. perhaps at hardhome, where you got surprised & absolutely swamped with wights. fighting side by side, but you’re too preoccupied with the wights running towards you to notice the one approaching your side. he would absolutely just yank you towards him & out of the way, bringing down longclaw to take care of it. and you’re in a life threatening situation — that’s definitely not the only time it happens either…. just saying 🙂‍↕️

[i-may-be-an-emu]

The way that Tom looks at them heals something in me that I didn’t know was so broken. Or something, idk.

[mutable-manifestation]

Ghost Chirps AU Part 5

Part 1 & 2

Part 3

Part 4

***

While “Jason” (i.e. Alfred with an empty jet that Jason will meet up with later in order to “arrive” in Amity) hops a private jet, Red Hood is busy searching the Fenton home from top to bottom.

The local police move slowly, and by the time they arrive Jack and Maddie Fenton are both tied up and disarmed in their living room under heavy guard.

They hadn’t been restrained immediately, Batman talking him into giving them a chance to implicate themselves first.

Hood let him take the lead, but he didn’t even get a chance to ask a question, being cut off at the first indication he might want to talk about their “work.” Less than 60 seconds in, and the pair had outright confessed to violating the meta protection acts - and in tedious detail.

The questioning didn’t suffer any from them being tied up.

Far from the mulish silence or crocodile-tear laden denial of most criminals, they instead doubled down, insisting that nothing they had done was illegal, then jumping to the assumption that they were “possessed” - and boy had it been a nasty surprise when the whole house came alive trying to attack them with a quick verbal command.

Well, trying to attack Hood. And only him, for some reason.

One laser also freed the Fentons, who turned out to have even more weapons built into their suits. 

Somehow. 

Despite them being skintight.

That had been a pain, but Red Robin was able to hack the system using one of the couples’ own devices while Hood dodged - and kept the stray fire away from the others - leaving everyone else to recapture the pair. A blessedly simple task once they found out the lasers would splash harmlessly off of their armor (save for a gross film of green goop left wherever they grazed).

They take turns knocking each unconscious to change them in order to properly disarm them - Batman and Nightwing taking Jack first, followed by Orphan and Spoiler dealing with Maddie. 

The only non-weapon laden clothing they own turns out to be pajamas. 

This is around when the police show up, looking hesitant.

They, too, cite the “Anti-Ecto Acts.”

Oracle had debriefed them on the supposed Acts and “Ghost Investigation Ward” on their short drive over. Both were utterly bogus - the Acts had never even been proposed, let alone been approved as law, and the so-called “GIW” had no ties to the government.

The Fentons had been furious and denied the information intensely when told, but the cops mostly just looked relieved.

Apparently there’d been a lot of property damage by the GIW and Fentons both that had supposedly been dismissed under the Acts as “necessary in the pursuit of ecto-scum.”

For the Fentons, half of this damage was in the form of broken fire hydrants, cracked sidewalks, and totaled cars - they’d never been good drivers, before, the cops disclosed, but they’d become even more negligent since the ghosts began appearing, to the point they had to have a news segment warning when they would be on the road.

The lack of fatalities thus far had been nothing short of a miracle, they claimed.

“Of course there haven’t been any fatalities!” Mrs Fenton defends. “Our work is to protect people from those things, not make more! Officers, listen to reason-” Hood snorts disdainfully -”The Red Hood is clearly a ghost! All our systems targeted him the moment they came online - and they only target ecto-entities. He’s clearly taken these heroes under his sway - why else would they be working with a murderer!? You have to do something before he starts up his killing here in Amity!”

The officers look at him a bit hesitantly, but Batman is unmoved and gives the cover story Hood had outlined back in the alley.

Any concerns the locals have are quickly assuaged.

But for the whole explanation, Jason is trying not to shake even as he falls apart in place.

Their little website called them ghost-hunters, making it pretty clear what “ecto-entities” meant. 

Their system supposedly only targets ecto-entities.

The system had only targeted him.

The system only targets ghosts.

Jason had died.

A lot of his family members had died, too, granted. 

But Jason was the only one who seemed to come back wrong - anger sticking in his throat and never quite fading, an inclination towards violence even when he wasn’t angry well beyond what he’d ever felt before, and a sea of other emotions (that he would never acknowledge aloud) and triggers for those emotions that he always struggled to make heads or tails of.

He doesn’t have the meta gene. He knows that. He knew that.

He just assumed that the test missed it, because he knows he doesn’t know magic - the All Blades being the only exception - and he couldn’t think of another explanation at the time.

But he came back wrong.

And as he stands there, he wonders if he came back at all, mind on Solomon Grundy.

Wonders if he isn’t just some ghost, wandering around possessing his own corpse.

He jolts, as the thought strikes him: what about Danny?

If he’s a ghost and chirping is a ghost thing then what about his KID!?

Absently, he notes that Bruce has started interrogating the cops on what they meant by “ghost attacks.” 

He ignores the discussion, hustling for the door in the kitchen down to the lab.

He slams and locks the door behind him - in Red Robin’s face - as he descends, making a b-line for the computer he’d seen when the Fentons had dragged them all down there to start bragging about their crimes.

The only thing Oracle could get out of the whole building was things that were openly available online; direct connections were impossible.

Opening up the screen, he gets to cracking.

Going for the surface level files first, it turns out he doesn’t even need so much as a password to find what he wants.

One of the video game sub-files has an unrelated file in it: ghost notes.

There are plenty of other notes, of course, but he’d only been skimming to start, looking for anything hidden.

The Fenton parents were too open to bother, of course, with plenty of more obvious files strewn haphazardly across the home screen, but it’s always better to check. That there is a hidden file means it was likely made by either Danny or Jazz.

And it’s a treasure trove.

Sub-files for rogues, allies, conditional allies, and “halfas” were what greeted him.

The last being the only term he didn’t recognize, he clicked.

6 files: Clones, Danny, Dani, Dan, Vlad, and Red Hood.

He clicks his own file.

What greets him is a picture of himself 4 days ago, looking just to the left of the lens in an alley that he distinctly remembers searching for the kid in.

Just below is text.

~~~

??? Name: Red Hood

Species: probably a halfa

Status: Nnnneutral? I think? I know, I know, heads in bags. But Valerie tries to kill me all the time! And we’re allies sometimes! Hood- uh- looked for me? Okay I guess I can’t really judge this yet but please read the first met section before you judge please you guys?

First met: Aug 17, 2005, was in Gotham to bother Batman, stopped to think a bit on some fire escape - decide on the first prank yknow - but then my ghost sense went off. It felt like a halfa so I thought “oh cool, must be Dani” so I chirped, but then Red Hood - who was chasing some guy down an alley at the time - froze and looked around. I dropped visibility and chirped again and yeah, he definitely heard it. Humans can’t so he’s definitely a halfa - no glow so he can’t be a full ghost and it felt nothing like an overshadowing. 

Ended up following Hood around the rest of week - forgot to prank Batman, damn - and playing hide-and-seek with the chirps. It was really funny. But he very obviously doesn’t know he’s a halfa. But the guy is, like, scary levels of smart, so I’m sure he’ll figure it out on his own now that the chirp thing made it clear that something is up. Hopefully.

I figure I can go back in winter break - he should have it figured out and let his emotions process enough by then to at least hear me out when I explain the AEA and GIW and everything, then it won’t matter so much if he can, like, track me by voice or something if I talk since we’ll have MAD by then.

Despite his reputation, the people living in his haunt seem to love the guy. I can see why. On top of the whole smart he’s actually really nice to people he’s not shooting in the knees (which only even happened one time in the week I was there? It was actually pretty relaxing - most quiet week I’ve had since the portal opened THANK YOU TUCKER for hacking the portal hatch to be inoperable for a week). 

Where was I? Oh yeah, he’s actually surprisingly nice to people? So like, I think he’ll probably hear me out if I go back and be polite? I hope. Hate to leave the guy in the dark and him end up on the GIWs dissection table for “lots and lots of painful experiments.”

Not that those guys could even catch the Box Ghost. But uh, Hood doesn’t seem to have powers either? Or if he does he doesn’t know about them I don’t think - he only used the chirp the whole time I was their - not even to cheat with moving around.

Seriously. That guy's acrobatics could make Freakshow’s contortionist green - er, red??? - with envy. Actually wait, aren’t contortionists and acrobats different things?

SAM NOTE: help^?

Powers: 

?

~~~

Jason leans back, breathing deeply.

“Not a full ghost,” “not 'overshadowed'” - a term that sounds likke some kind of cousin to possesision - “definitely a halfa,” “humans can’t hear chirps.”

Halfa. 

Half. 

Ghost. 

Half Ghost.

It should sound absurd - you can’t be half alive and half dead.

But Jason has seen the Lazarus pits, has met Solomon Grundy, has met aliens and bullshit magic and can pull magical swords out of his own damn chest.

Half alive. Half dead.

Hopefully not just a fancy way to say possessing his own corpse.

He doesn’t have time to deal with every file - he’ll “confiscate” one of their USBs with a copy of everything for himself before leaving the rest to Batman & co, of course, minus the halfa files (a small part of him wants to shove his condition in Bruce’s face and demand he kill the clown again even though he knows it’s a futile hope, but the rest - the same part that snapped and denied and refused to say he was a meta less that a day ago now - cannot stomach the thought of even more rejection. Of a Bruce that believes he’s a monster. Of a Bruce that mourns him even while he’s right there. Or at least, more than he already does.) - but while the files copy he take the time to look at Danny’s.

The image has two people, Danny Fenton on one side and a version of the kid in a black hazmat suit with white hair, tanned skin, and painfully familiar green eyes. And floating.

~~~

Human Name: Danny Fenton

Ghost Name: Danny Phantom

Species: Halfa (half-human, half ghost)

~~~

It’s the section after that that makes Jason’s breath catch in his throat.

~~~

Death: The Portal Accident

So like, there was no audio (thank GOD I do not want to hear myself screaming) so. Details: When the portal didn’t work when they plugged it in mom and dad left for fudge, Jazz went to try and talk them into a more realistic career choice than ghosts. Sam and Tucker came over and Sam dared me to climb in and check it out - it was broken anyway so no harm. Except it wasn’t broken, just that my parents put the on button inside. Which I caught myself on when I tripped on a wire.

Anyway, electrocution! 

(T - Danny for the love of god be more serious, the cheerful tone is creepy)

(D - Hey! I’m the one who died! Shouldn’t I at least get to write my own epitaph)

(S - …Danny this is not an epitaph. You don’t even HAVE a grave)

(D - wow way to rub it in Sam)

(T - yeah Sam)

(S - ugh! Whatever, just stop with the chatting in official files)

(T - “official”)

(S - Tucker.)

(T - shutting up now)

Electrocution! I got zapped to death, but the ectoplasm from the portal was also opening up on top of me and a lot got bonded to me I guess (S - probably because of the electricity with how you ended up with some of Vortex' powers for a little while) at the same time said electricity was reviving me? - probably getting my heart beating again or something, I was a little busy screaming to pay attention (T - yeah okay we're going to Nasty Burger after this. And playing Doomed) - not that it would’ve mattered without the ghostification preventing me from melting me all the way to death.

Status: Me!

Powers:

Chirps! (ghost echolocation of some kind! humans can't hear em - halfas can, of course, in either form)

Form Change (really Sam? This barely counts)

Human form

Ghost form (no need to breathe)

Flight (last clock speed 210mph) (T - and climbing. Dang dude)

Invisibility (S - don’t forget shareable.) (Shareable. sigh)

Intangibility (Shareable)

Ecto Rays (eyes & hands) (T - and butt) (D - dude! I’m deleting that. Tucker why can't I delete it. TUCKER) (T - bow down in awe of my ksill) (S - ksill) (D - ksill) (T - yeah okay it’s permanent now) (D - aw man!)

Ghost Sense (S - why do we never test your range?) (D - no need? They always make themselves obvious or are being sneaky specifically to annoy me so *shrug*) (S - I still think we should test it)

Power Absorption (that time with Vortex’s weather powers)

Cryokinesis (Wayyyyy to much ice. NOT testing max output on that) (T - yeah frozen city was enough, let’s not cause an ice age. Tech needs some cool but too much is still bad and I just upgraded Patricia)

Ghostly Wail (cone of destruction, very exhausting - always at max output. Not to be used)

GHOST FORM ONLY (but really just never)

Cartoon Body (D - what???) (S - Freakshow literally turned you into a puddle and you just turned back and were fine. I don’t know what else to call that) (D - okay fair. but:)

GHOST FORM ONLY

Physical Enhancement (better strength, speed, stamina, durability, reflexes, balance, etc much better than human) (T - why does this look like dnd knockoff stats haha)

GHOST FORM ONLY (S - obviously mr last place in PE)

Resistances (pretty solid on the overshadowing, avoided being taken in by Ember until targeted, didn’t get turned to stone during the Medusa thing) (S - which was pure luck! Be careful!)

Ecto Electricity (ghost stinger, but I really don’t think this counts Sam. I mean I just. Make my ecto zappy. But it’s still just ecto) (S - so is your ICE and you don’t just call that "just cold ecto") (D - fine, but it feels overly specific) (S - maybe writing it all down will make you stop. Forgetting. POWERS!) (D - come on Sam that was a lucky hit! I was distracted! And it turned out fine!) (S - Fenton…) (D - oop okay doing fire now)

Ecto Fire (made Dash’s shoes melty that one time by make the ecto hot) (T - really needs more testing)

Tech possession (chasing Technus into computers, not very tested)

Ghost form only, i guess?

Overshadowing (control people, copy their voice, invade dreams - the control one erases the person’s memory so they don’t know they were overshadowed just lost time. I hate Walker. SO much) (T - rip Danny’s reputation, you’ll be missed)

Probably ghost form only

Duplication (T - That’s optimistic) (D - I’M WORKING ON IT OKAY!?) (S - pretty sure it just falls under cartoon body until you can actually separate) (D - :( betrayal)

Probably ghost form only

More? (D - ugh I hope not) (T - hey don’t say that, maybe you’ll get a power to make the JL give a crap about Amity) (D - honestly I’m getting pretty close to letting Boxy loose in Gotham) (S - Danny, don’t stoop to their level!) (D - it's only box ghost!) (T - I mean he has a point)

~~~

Jason changes his mind, seeing the commentary, and deletes the entire hidden file from the computer as soon as his copy is made. He can go over everything and bring any important info to Bruce separately, the bat’s can just chew on the parents’ files for now.

Once the original files are thoroughly and irretrievably removed he pockets his shiny new USB, makes a second one with all the official files, and heads back up and out - carelessly brushing past a thoroughly irate Red Robin with a pair of firemen and broken jaws of life. And not a scratch on the door; impressive - just in time to get Oracle’s text that he’s got 2 hours and 16 minutes to be at the location on his HUD so he can “arrive” to Amity.

And a fresh set of civilian clothes will be waiting in the plane, Alfred as reliable as ever.

“Files,” he says, tossing the safe USB to Batman and interrupting his interrogation of the police officer.

He catches it effortlessly of course, but the officer stops paying attention to him to jolt at Hood’s reappearance - even outside of Gotham his reputation is fierce.

“I sent a copy to myself. I’ll review them and give you an overview, but other than that consider this the end of my involvement in this little shitshow,” he says, continuing smoothly to the door. “I’m heading back to Gotham.”

Now, he has a little over two hours before Jason Todd needs to arrive in Amity Park. He only needs to lay hands on a laptop that he can isolate from Babs’ influence and he should be able to review the Halfa files in full before he "lands" - after he figures out just why the kid has a grudge against the JL.

[thenightshadowqueen]

With the context that (we’re assuming) the reason the characters in Escape from the Vault are stuck there is because they’re fan favourites, Tom asking if they’re there because they’re gay is hysterical, because honestly… the answer is kind of yes

[voidshrub]

PARTY CRASHERS!!

Aka “A princess and his knight both kicking equal amounts of ass” aka “THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN UNDERCOVER MISSION YOU IMBECILES”

[absent-o-minded]

I have consumed nothing but SFTH content for nearly a month…and I will continue to consume nothing but SFTH

[wowevenmoreloveonearth]

I really need to stop going into the general 911 tag bc some of y’all are so stupid and that’s ok but you’re also really mean and I’d like you to please keep it away from me (I have blocked so many people already)

[hongtonie]

i gotta say it is a little fishy to me how every time taylor swift gets caught up in some controversy she releases new music

[ahalliance]

i love when the us election year rolls around every four years and makes it the rest of the world’s problem

[lumiereandcogsworth]

this is kinda vague cause I don’t have any specific question in mind but can you talk about lumiere and adam’s relationship? just ,, anything about them? cause lemme tell youuuuuuuu something 🫵🏻 I think about that fic where he performs a magic trick for little adam all the time

SCREAM!!! the fact that you think about that fic so much makes me SO HAPPY😭 i ADORE adam & lumi’s relationship so YES LET’S GET INTO IT BABEY!

for starters, i headcanon that they’re 11 years apart. i did this because dan stevens and ewan mcgregor are 11 years apart, lmao. but i also think it makes sense! so i didn’t feel like altering that.

they met when adam was 4, and lumiere was hired as a 15-year-old footman. i think they liked each other instantly. lumiere’s jovial/loud/playful personality perfectly filled in all the gaps of adam’s terrible shyness. queen renée liked him, (she was only like. 6-7 years older than him) and he reminded her of her own younger brothers, whom she dearly missed. this helped adam trust lumiere quicker, as lumiere ended up spending extra time with him.

like in the fic you’re referring to, lumiere quickly picked up on how regularly adam needed to be rescued. mrs. potts filled him in on the severity of the situation here, and how it’s been like this since he was born, so lumiere became pretty protective of adam. he’d try to distract him and pull him out of reality as much as he could. cogsworth was always on the fence about it, because on the one hand, he wants to follow the rules and obey the king’s orders that servants aren’t supposed to be friendly with the family. but on the other hand, he cared about little adam too, and he was glad, in THIS case, that lumiere was so good at being sneaky

a couple years later, plumette joined the crew as a young maid. lumi fell for her INSTANTLY, and they became besties very quickly. she, too, of course, felt so badly for the little prince. she also became trusted by queen renée (who was alwaaysss rooting for those two — she’d get their schedules rearranged so they could work together or get days off together, and even find secret rooms to allow them alone time. she’s the OG plumiere shipper😤)

ANYWAY, my point there is that lumi and plumette very much became the big brother & sister that adam very much needed. they both played with him as much as they could. they’d go for walks with him in the garden when his mother was occupied, they’d race boats across the pond. lumiere would give him piggy back rides around the castle and adam would actually laugh sometimes!! he was so,., not very expressive as a kid. especially not happy emotions. so it always melted their hearts when they could hear his precious little giggle🥹

i’ve mentioned this before i think, but for birthdays and christmas and such, queen renée would send lum and plum to paris to get gifts for adam, since she was often not permitted to leave without the king🙃

lumiere also taught adam how to play chess!!!!! he also taught him some “special moves” (cheating) that guarantee (he’s cheating) victory every time😎 (he taught him how to cheat because beating cogsworth is funny). but he still knows (and never forgets!!!) the basics!!

when the queen got sick… ough. everyone was just trying to take care of adam as much as they could. which wasn’t enough At All, but it was all they could do. and when she died? OUGHDKFJSKJ!!!!!!!! adam was 9 (and a half), lumiere was 20. everyone (except the king 🤬🔪) is very very very sad.

adam would have really really awful nightmares, following her death. he’d wake up screaming and sweating and panicking. he’d cry and just entirely be unable to calm down. lumiere soon learned about this and started sneaking to the west wing at night and sleeping in the hallway outside of his room. and then when he’d hear adam wake up, he’d come in and try to soothe him best he could. he’d climb onto the bed and sit beside him and hold him tight until the crying turned to whimpering. adam would mumble “where is she? where’s mama? i want mama” and lumiere would shush him gently and try to keep him calm and pet his hair, telling him to go back to sleep.

the king soon found out about this (he had too many RATS working for him😤) and forbade it, putting a guard outside adam’s room so no one was allowed in during the night. (and sometimes louis would force him to stay in there during the day too! if he was being particularly difficult (having autistic meltdowns or just in general Being An Autistic And Depressed Child) and no one could control him🙃)

anywaaayyyyyy this is the beginning of the many cracks and fractures that would come to their friendship. adam is sent to boarding school in the fall and he just gets more closed off, angry, sad, you name it! from here. it’s not a 180 flip though. the first few years when he comes home for breaks, he’s still drawn to lumi & plum and still leans on them. i have a sweet fic from when he was 11 that’s 🥹🤧 a precious moment amidst the terribleness. and it’s more lumi doing card tricks!! hehe!! he’s an entertainer, what can i say?🤩

by the time he’s a teenager though there’s basically nothing between them. his father beat him enough times to Stop Talking To Them that he just finally gave up trying. and when his father dies just before adam turned 16, it’s all a mess. adam’s completely cold with all of them. he’s been away most of the time the last 6 years because of school so when he does come back and Stay at the castle, he just really makes it his domain. he invites all the awful friends he’s made in the cities, he creates his corrupt and awful court, he indulges and drowns in his self-loathing. all that good stuff 🙃

and where does it leave lumiere? heartbroken with the rest of the gang. feeling like they failed him. which is so hard because it’s like!!! they did as much as they COULD. if they did any more, if they were less sneaky, less careful, they’d have lost their livelihoods! and they couldn’t risk losing their work OR leaving adam to truly fend for himself. so they settled for the brief moments they could each spend with him, desperately hoping it would be enough for him to turn out like his mother, instead of his father😭

but of course. we know how the story goes. during the curse it’s interesting because he’s just stuck with them. like there’s no other people he could distract himself with. he’s stuck with them!!! and he clearly still listens to them, at least to a degree. i really love the scene where he sees a place setting for belle at the table and he gets PISSED and yells “LUMIERE!!!!!!!!!” and goes to talk to him. and he’s all pissy and grumpy but he’s still talking to him!! and cogsworth!! and mrs. potts!! it’s just so complicated!!!! like it’s not like he’s FORGOTTEN how much they meant to him, it’s just that his mind and heart are so DEEPLY clouded by the trauma of growing up with his father and the anger that he still feels for him, and himself! because of him! AGHGHH!!!

but you know what scene kicks so much ass??? THE ADAM & LUMIERE HUG!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve already perfectly elaborated on it here, and idk if i’ll ever be able to elaborate on it again because it usually just makes me go GJSKFHWKDHWKDHSKSJ!!!!!!!!!!! but that hug is just. CRAZY. “HELLO OLD FRIEND” ??????? i’m gonna throw myself into the sun. adam calling lumiere his old friend is genuinely one of the reasons i fell so FREAKING hard for this film seven years ago. what a line. what a scene. THE IMPLICATIONS OF IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! adam’s cold heart is thawed and is full of LOVE and he HUGS HIS OLD FRIEND, THE ONE WHO WAS LIKE A BROTHER TO HIM, THE ONE WHO PLAYED WITH HIM AND WIPED HIS TEARS AND HELD HIM WHEN HE JUST WANTED THE WORLD TO SWALLOW HIM WHOLE. THATS HIS OLD FRIEND!!!! ADAM LOVES LUMIERE SO SO SO MUCH 😭😭😭

gosh… anyway, as a last, lovely, note. they of course become such best friends. after the curse, they have a couple deep talks that are so Good for them both, but especially adam. and adam learns how to confide in him, how to trust him again. they play billiards and pass the time! they play chess and adam “wins” and lumiere’s like hey dude i thought we AGREED we were only gonna use those moves on COGSWORTH!!! also lumiere becomes his valet for many years, so they’re just always chattin about one thing or another. (it’s usually court gossip though. lumiere being a servant has ALL THE TEA☕️).

they become fathers together, their children grow up together. heck! they become fathers-in-LAW together!! juliette ends up marrying lumiere & plumette’s eldest son, sebastian!!! :”) (and reecy & their younger child xavier are BEST FRIENDS😤 which is also VERY IMPORTANT‼️) their families are just forever intertwined. even before the marriage, they really are family. in a modern suburban au, i just KNOW they’d be neighbors having barbecues at each other’s houses all summer 🤧 anyway it’s just so beautiful man!! adam and lumiere just have such an important bond. they’ve Truly been through thick and thin. it’s such a sweet love, to have a friend as wonderful as they have in each other 🥹

[i-may-be-an-emu]

Sam Birthday Compilation

(yes it was yesterday but I forgot to upload it to tumblr)

And he SAW it and LIKED it and SAVED and REPOSTED it :)))))

I’m literally so so happy right now

[sailforvalinor]

📔

Since last year, I’ve had an idea for a Harry Potter fic rattling around in my head prompted by the realization that Lily’s death is necessary for the love-magic-protection that enables Harry to survive both killing curses, but James’s isn’t—what does the world look like if James Potter somehow survives? I came to the conclusion that because the protection spell that Dumbledore originally uses to protect Harry until he comes of age applies to those of Lily’s blood, he would still want him to live with the Dursley’s, and thus Dumbledore decides that the best course of action is for 21 year old, traumatized, newly-widowed James to fake his death. It’s safest for Harry, the Death Eaters already think he’s dead, and it’s really useful for Dumbledore to have a piece on the chessboard that both the Death Eaters and the Ministry don’t know about. James isn’t thrilled about this, but he’s too distraught (and too used to Dumbledore being right about everything) to argue. He’s really only a few years out of school, after all.

I know I had worked out all the logical kinks on this one at some point but I don’t really remember now—but the fic would involve James working as a sort of secret agent for Dumbledore, a wild card, if you will, while keeping an eye on Harry from afar. This James would be a little different than the one we’re familiar with—a bit more mature and serious, and of course absolutely wracked with guilt. He hardly resembles who he used to be after losing Lily, and he’s pretty dang desperate not to make any more mistakes, lose anyone else.

Snape of course is one of the only other people who would know James was alive, and the bad blood between them is as terrible as ever, as Snape would blame him for “letting” Lily get killed. (As if James doesn’t blame himself enough.)

Sirius would also know, as he was the first one to Godric’s Hollow after the attack and would have found James, but that doesn’t do much good after he’s arrested. The only way I can think to workaround the fact that Dumbledore would know Sirius was innocent if he had talked to James is if James was so seriously incapacitated after the attack on Godric’s Hollow (don’t ask how I don’t know. WAIT MAYBE IN THIS VERSION VOLDEMORT ENCOUNTERS LILY FIRST AND HER LOVE MAGIC EXTENDS TO BOTH HARRY AND JAMES??? OH MY GOSH???) that the “trial” occurs before James is lucid enough to talk and Dumbledore gives evidence against Sirius because he assumes he’s the Secret Keeper.

Other than fulfilling Dumbledore’s wishes and keeping an eye on Harry, James spends a lot of his time trying to figure out how to break Sirius out of Azkaban. Maybe he succeeds earlier than in the original series? He also is trying to hunt down Peter, of course—probably spots him in the newspaper like Sirius does. Or maybe he sees him with Ron while watching Harry?

Does Remus know that James is alive? I’m gonna say yes, but Dumbledore doesn’t know that. It makes no sense for him not to, he’s the only friend he has left.

I figure by Prisoner of Azkaban, James has had enough of Dumbledore’s nonsense and reveals himself to Harry—it would be pretty dang poetic if it’s during the first patronus scene, and it IS actually him casting it from across the lake. How would Harry react to finding out he’s been alive this whole time? Idk, it would be complicated, but man I’m getting emotional just thinking about it.

Also, while it does make sense that Dumbledore wouldn’t want James to use his original wand, I know it makes the most sense for James to have acquired a spare one somewhere—but the concept of James Potter with a Glock hit me over the head with a broom, and I’d love to somehow finagle it into making sense because can you imagine? Someone in the HP universe with a gun?? The comedic potential???

A dementor: *appears*

Harry and Sirius: “EXPECTO—“

James: *shoots it in the face*

[that-jack-kline-bestie]

FUCKK DO MY BONES HATE ME

[sexynetra]

idc idc say what you will about her but she spilled with this one

[deadlittledogs]

menstrual cycle blues means crying you weren’t born a sexy emo boy. oh well… can’t help but feel bad for just laying in bed all day while my time here in Washington is so limited… but the pain… the pain… ouaghhh…… somebody come rub my bulging, pulsating belly…. (;´д｀)