#no hate to y’all but we are watching different shows and I don’t think it would be productive to interact lmao

[wowevenmoreloveonearth]

I really need to stop going into the general 911 tag bc some of y’all are so stupid and that’s ok but you’re also really mean and I’d like you to please keep it away from me (I have blocked so many people already)

[frogsare-friends]

reposting this again bc my wonderful amazing mutual has exactly the words i was feeling getting back into the fandom. like damn i forgot how mean these motherfuckers are. also the homophobia and transphobia that runs RAMPANT in the fandom is disgusting and i hate it. blech.

love you @axtumnalcha0s tho, you have like the best tsitp/jelly content ever!! 😻😻😽😽

the tsitp fandom is the meanest fucking fandom ever istg

if you’re that pressed over fictional characters pls get a grip

[darnell-la]

heyy.. hey, how y’all doing 😭🫶🏽

i absolutely love this blog, you are so talented and the work you put out BOMB !! logan’s personality/dialogue is amazing. i was wondering if you could do a part 2, or maybe a whole new blurb about logan + anal with reader? thank you so much <33

thank you so much for your kind words and support. we’ve been busy with all of these Logan x reader stories, but we’re completely fine with it. We love this man. The character AND the actor.

this is a whole different story from the last but still involves anal with the reader. he’s very mean in here but has a reason to be. I think you guys would like this…

follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!

———

Tonight was a fun night. At first, Logan showed her off by dancing with her, filling her drinks and maybe giving her a few pecks here and there. It felt special since this was the first time he’s shown real affection towards her in public.

Everyone kind of had an idea months ago after he yelled at y/n, telling her it was too dangerous to fight without being by his side. Every mission from them, he’s literally glued on her, not letting her out of his sight for even a second.

After a couple of hours, the mutants were drunk and Logan was gone. He’s been gone for only ten minutes, but y/n noticed. She always does.

Y/n got up to talk around and find him, maybe even get another drink while she’s at it.

“So you like them badass now? Uncontrollable and dumb!?” Y/n heard Jean yell in the kitchen. “I’ve never not liked them badass, Jean,” Logan spoke. The jealousy of him talking to Jean about anything flooded her body.

“You didn’t like me when I was badass or uncontrollable. What is it about her that I don’t have, hm? Does she kiss better? Fuck? Suck? Tell me, Logan, because we both know I can do it better,” Y/n wanted to say something, but she wanted to hear what Logan had to say.

The man chuckled, knowing Jean was nowhere near how y/n was. Her personality was better, she treated him better, and she wasn’t scared to show how much she adored him. Jean never showed anything towards him unless they ran into each other in an empty hall or room.

“You wish,” he went to walk away but Jean grabbed his face and pulled him to a rough kiss. Y/n’s eyes widened as her fists balled up, but she stood still. Why? Because Logan didn’t do anything.

Y/n felt her eyes tear up, her breathing get heavy, and her head spin. She couldn’t stay watched. She left right before he finally did something.

The man grew his claws out and raised them to Jean's neck after pushing her away. “You touch me again, and I’ll bring 'em out with my fists on your neck,” Jean was angry but stayed silent. He truly has moved on, or maybe he’s never wanted her like that in the first place.

For the rest of the party, Logan searched for y/n. He walked through the whole mansion after he didn’t find her on the couch she left.

He hated not being around her. It’s not like anything would happen, but he needed her presence.

“Ssh, not too loud,” Logan heard his girl's voice coming from one of the bathrooms. The man sighed in relief, glad he finally found her until he heard a man's voice. That man was Scott.

“Why? No one’s around here, and even if they were, who cares?” The man couldn’t stop kissing all over the girl. She was so sweet and he’d been wanting to get at her before Logan claimed her.

Logan couldn’t believe what he was hearing, so he kept quiet and placed his ear on the door.

“You taste so good — I bet you’re soaked,” the man spoke as his hands traced under her dress. “How about you find out,” she giggled right before his fingers rubbed through her slick.

“Fuck,” he groaned, and that was it. Logan had enough. “The fuck is going on here!?” Logan kicked the door down. Literally. The door had broken off of the hinges, making y/n and Scott jump. His fingers instantly pulled out of her.

“Dude, what the fuck is your problem!?” Scott shouted at the man as he covered y/n up. The girl's right tit was out, her dress was pulled up and her makeup was smudged slightly. How long have they been at this, Logan thought to himself.

Logan couldn’t help but laugh at the two. He could feel his head hurt from the anger running through his body at the sight of Scott of all people, on his girl. His fingers were in his girl.

“Ima give you 5 seconds, Scott, and if you’re not off of my girl and out of my face — I’m gonna slice your ass in half,” Logan threatened and after first, Scott wasn’t scared. He wasn’t going to do shit.

“Look, she told me what you did, so why do you care if I have her now?” Scott spoke. “Five,” Logan said. “Dudes, c’mon,” Scot spoke again. “Four,” Logan said, fists balling and eyes staring through Scott’s soul.

“Logan, get out of here. I’m busy with-“ y/n was cut off after Logan’s claws came out. They seemed longer than ever. “Three,” he spoke. Now Scott was terrified. He was actually going going to do it.

“Come to me later,” Scott said as he fixed his pants and went to walk past Logan. Logan grabbed Scot by the shirt, making the scared me shout in fear, and y/n jump.

“There ain’t no later,” Logan said before throwing Scott off of him. He watched the man speed away and back to the party, ignoring how he could’ve been mauled by Logan.

“L-Logan, you can’t just-“ Logan’s hand was around her neck, cutting her off from whatever dumb shit she wanted to say. “How much did he touch you?” Logan asked. “W-What-“ Logan shook the girl by her neck in anger as he shouted, “How much did he touch you!?”

Y/n didn’t answer. She was shocked at the way he reacted. She wasn’t scared, but she knew he was pissed off. Why when he cheated?

“Answer me!” He demanded as he gripped tight. His right hand still had his claws out, trying to intimidate her, but she knew he could never hurt her, so she decided to have a little fun.

“A lot,” she replied to the man’s question. It seemed like his eyes instantly grew dark. “Did you suck him off, y/n?” He asked, praying to go she wasn’t that stupid.

He still doesn’t know that she thinks he cheated on her. All he’s thinking is that she’s too drunk to fully understand what she’s doing. Even if she did understand, he wasn’t going to let her go. She was his, and she knew that.

“What if I did?” The girl whispered with a grin he hated seeing on her face. She didn’t get the chance to, but she was thinking about it. “Why would you do that, y/n? Why!?” Logan felt his heart shatter.

“Why would you do what you did, huh!? You think this shit only goes one way!?” Y/n choked but managed to get out what she needed. “What are you on about? Y/n, you’re drunk as fuck,” Logan released her neck.

“So what? I rather be drunk and drown on Scott’s lips than spend another second with you and fake love,” y/n spat, eyes instantly tearing up at the view she saw almost an hour ago. She thought the alcohol she’d consumed since then would stop her emotions, but it failed.

“Don’t fuckin’ say that again, and what fake love are you talking about? Y/n, are you even thinkin’ right now? Is your head fucked up or some shit?” Logan tried to understand what had happened since he left her.

“The only thing that’s fucked up is you!” Y/n’s eyes darkened in anger, but they soon faded away. She was sad to unleash any type of power on him. She felt weak and betrayed.

“Baby,” Logan spoke as he stepped towards her and raised his hand to cup her cheek, but she slapped his hand away, eyes barely being able to stay up and looking at him.

“C’mere,” he softly said, finally cupping her cheek with one hand and using the other to rub her thigh. He did anything to calm her down. She’s never lashed out so bad where her powers showed.

“Talk to me, baby. You can’t just stay quiet and expect me to know what I did to upset you,” she spoke low as he rubbed the tears from her cheek. “But you should know — Y-You did it and-“Y/n cut herself off with a choked cry.

“Tell me what I did, bub — I wanna make it up to you,” he said and even though he had no idea what he did and y/n still believed he cheated, she would’ve definitely taken him back. He’s so good at apologizing in different ways.

“She kissed you — A-And you didn’t pull back,” Y/n said as she turned away. “Baby, what?” He asked, already forgetting about what Jean tried to make him do. He would never leave y/n for a woman who can’t make her mind up.

“Jean,” y/n said low, finally holding her cries in. All of a sudden, she felt angry again. “What? Baby — Wait-“ he said, remembering what went down in the kitchen. He could’ve sworn smelt y/n near but he was too busy trying to get through Jean’s head that he’s been done with her.

“Baby, she kissed me then I pushed her off of me,” Logan said. “No, you didn’t!” Y/n yelled at him before pushing his chest hard, causing him to stumble. She was strong. She always has been.

“Y/n, yes I did!” He said, confused about what she saw. Y/n scoffed as she walked out of the bathroom. “Baby- Y/n!” Logan ran after her as she stormed back towards the party.

“Y/n, stop, don’t you fuckin’ go back to him,” Logan growled, knowing that was where she was going. “Fuck off and let me have fun,” Y/n said, making the man’s blood boil.

Before she knew it, y/n was pinned up against the wall, Logan’s hands on her head and pressing her cheek up against the cold wood.

“You think I’m going to let you walk back to him? Just like that!? No — You’re gonna fuckin’ listen to me,” Logan said through his teeth as y/n tried pushing off of the wall, but every time, he slammed her back.

“I didn’t kiss her, okay? If you were there long enough, you would've seen me threatening to claw her, but I fuckin’ bet your emotional ass left before any of that, huh? Huh!?” The man shouted.

“Because you didn’t pull away-“ y/n tried saying but the man pulled her back and then smaller her against the wall again, not really wanting to hear her speak about what she thought she saw.

“I didn’t pull back right away because she got in my mind. I told her to pull back, or I’ll make her. That was it! Ten fucking seconds, and you left in five,” Logan was heated.

“W-Why would I stay and watch my boyfriend kiss his ex?” Y/n genuinely asked as she felt his body crush her. “You didn’t have to, but maybe next time you don’t go sucking Scott’s tongue and not hear me out — And, she’s not my ex!”

It was silent for a while. All you could hear was Logan’s breathing. His deep, dark, animalistic breathing. He’s never been this furious around her before. He wanted to run after Scott and make sure y/n saw nothing in him after he fucked up his face.

“I-I’m sorry,” y/n said, now understanding that Logan didn’t cheat on her. He threatened Jean for y/n, but she was too emotional to confront them or stay any longer to see what he would do.

“Oh, are you now?” Logan asked in her ear before letting out a laugh. “You always are — You’re always yellin’ at me like I’m some bitch,” Logan’s grip on her head and waist tightened.

“You couldn’t even keep your legs closed for an hour after I cheated. You were just gonna slut around, hm? Hm!?” Logan’s hand that was on her waist, loses and travels down her dress until he pulled them up, now rubbing his crotch against her ass.

“I’m sorry,” it came off as a beg for him to forgive her. “Well, sluts get treated like sluts, don’t they?” Logan asked her like she was going to answer. She didn’t know what to do or what to say to calm him down.

It was too late to calm him down. He’d already reached into his jeans and pulled his cock out. She panicked when she remembered they were in the hallway. Anyone could come out.

“No, Logan- Not out here,” she whispered like they weren’t just yelling at each other. “Sluts get treated like sluts,” Logan said after he spat on his cock, rubbing a huge amount on. He needed to make sure he could fit.

“Baby, baby, just please let’s- let’s think about this, okay? Let me apologize,” she begged, trying to move her hips away, but she was going nowhere. He had her pinned down.

“Sluts get treated like sluts,” the man repeated before she felt his tip push at the hole she’s never used before. Before she could scream at the sudden burn, Logan used the hand pushing her face into the wall, to cover her mouth.

Her body was now pressed back against him, allowing her to hear all of his low and deep groans. It hurt him pushing in, but he was going to make it work.

“L-Logan,” y/n cried, her voice still muffled but it’s not like she would’ve been heard anyways. Her heavy breathing won’t let her get a sentence out.

“That’s it,” Logan pushed until he was fully inside of her to the hilt. “So fuckin’ tight — Gotta be the most perfect girl there is,” Logan spoke as he moved his hips, thrusting to her girl slowly, allowing his spot to coat his entire cock and her hole.

Y/n cried in pain as her back arched. She was fighting for her life to keep her legs still, but they were shaking too much. He’s already big, and now he’s in her ass with lack of preparation.

“Did he do this?” Logan asked, talking about Scott. “Can he fuck you like this, hm? You think his cocks meant for your hole like I am, y/n?” The paste he was fucking her in, only made it harder for her to speak. He hadn’t even taken his hand away from her mouth.

“Oh, I know, baby — I know I’m the only one that can make you look this stupid,” Logan could see her eyes cross. She swore she was actually losing her mind. “My little dumb baby,”

Logan’s free hand dug into y/n’s waist, forcing her weak body into his thrust. He couldn’t get enough of her begs, her cries, her small moans, and the way she shook on him.

“You think he’ll want you after this? After you can’t speak for yourself?” Logan continued his bullying. “Actually, I bet he would. After his nasty ass fingers got a taste of you,” Logan got angry once he remembered.

“Bet he ran off sniffing and smelling how sweet you are. So fuckin’ sweet, but that’s supposed to be for me. Only me!”

“You fucked that up, bub, and ima make sure you regret it,” Logan pulled y/n off of the wall before throwing her to the ground. Not too hard because he still cared for her, but enough for her to know he was pissed.

“L-Logan, I’m sorry-“ she couldn’t speak before he had her on all fours and slammed right back into her ass. The scream she let out was loud, but the music the party had was louder.

“I pray to god that son of a bitch comes back out here to this view. Who would want you after you slut yourself in the middle of school, huh? Who?” He asked, pulling the girl back by her hair.

“That’s what I thought. I’m the only one that wants a pretty little slut like you,” he said in her ear as his free hand traced to her tits before letting them free.

“I’m the only one that can control you and give you what you want. No one else, do you hear me?” The tone in his voice made y/n know he wanted an answer. “Y-Yes,” she sobbed.

“So fuckin’ drunk — God, y/n,” he chuckled. “Gonna let me have my way with you? Gonna let me keep fuckin’ this ass till you pass out?” He asked as her eyes slowly became heavy. He could see her. He knew she was close.

“Cum for me first, baby doll. Wanna hear that shit all over the floor,” his deep voice seemed needy, but y/n didn’t need him to tell her twice before she let loose just like he told her to.

“That’s it, princess — My dirty little girl cummin’ brain dead,” y/n was confused but too fucked out to fully realize Logan was fucking her in the air. Her knees were on the ground her feet grazed against her floor.

“Gonna cum, baby,” Logan’s arms held her up as her asshole squeezed so hard it hurt, but he dealt with it. Apart of it made him closer.

Before he knew it, he was filling the hallway with his deep groans and the loud sounds of their skin clapping. “F-Fuuuck, baby,” he could hear his spit and cum mix around in her ass.

Logan was out of breath, but his thrust never stopped. They got harder, feeling like hard hand slaps on y/n’s ass cheeks.

“You thought it was over, baby?” Logan laughed deeply as y/n’s eyes slipped away. He knew he punished her well, but he wasn’t going to stop until Scott came back out to her to “come to her later”.

[cinewhore]

The Only Exception

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x fem!reader

read extended cut here [x]

Word Count: 2.6k 

Warnings: mentions of drinking, toxic family dynamics, smut 18+ (groping, male receiving oral, penetration, unprotected sex, facial cumshot). fluff and some angst! 

A/N: girlies, the whore jumped out! Takes place during episode 6 season 2. Credit to the gif creator! I hope y’all enjoy it. 

Nothing ever goes smoothly with the Berzatto’s.

Why you thought this holiday dinner was going to be any different was beyond any rational comprehension.

Trying not to be a complete klutz and ruin the side dish you’ve been working on the entire day, you delicately balance it in your left hand while adjusting your scarf tighter around your neck with your right. Putting a pep in your step, you round the corner from where you parked, spotting the stoop instantly.

It was a rare sighting to see all three of the Berzatto siblings together. With Carmy being away at culinary school, Mikey doing his own thing with the restaurant and Natalie living her life, one person always missed the other. It warmed your heart to see just how much they cared about each other, even if they didn’t show it in a normal or healthy way.

“Is that who I think it is?” Mikey’s voice booms over the light traffic passing by, handing Carmy the cigarette he was puffing on.

You crack a smile, despite it feeling like your lips were stuck together due to the cold weather. “Sorry, I’m a bit late. Fuckin’ cat had my keys.”

“How many times did I tell you to get rid of the cat?” Mikey leans down to kiss you but you turn your head, forcing him to peck you on the cheek instead.

“C’mon, baby.” he drawls, throwing you a bashful smile.

You huff out a sigh, lowering your voice. “You know I hate the smoking.”

Mikey nods, face fading into something serious before vanishing. “I know you do. You didn’t bring fish, did you?”

Side-stepping the tall Berzatto, you get pulled into a hug by Natalie, followed by Carmen.

“Hello, gorgeous! It’s so good to see you!” Natalie kisses you on both cheeks before making the move to grab the dish out of your hands. You pull back, shooting her a look.

“Nat, please. I got it.”

“Are you sure?” you watch as her bottom lip quivers a bit. You steal a glance at Carmy, who just shakes his head.

“Fuck. How bad is it?” you gaze at the disheveled trio, awaiting an answer.

Finally, Mikey breaks the silence.

“It’s at a five. Six, at best.”

You lick your lips, rocking back and forth on your heels. “That’s not too bad, right?”

“Right.” Carmy agrees, with Natalie humming in agreement.

“Just don’t fucking ask if she’s doing ok.” Mikey glimpses at his sister, placing hand on your lower back to guide you into the house.

You take a deep breath and exhale through your nose, plastering a smile on your face before entering the shit show.

You’d only been there an hour and you were called the wrong name three times, objectified, cursed at and now Fak was trying to get you to put up five hundred dollars for baseball cards.

Listening with great intent, nodding at all the right times and twirling the wine glass in your hands desperately wanting to get another refill had your social energy spent.

“We could make you a lot of money, cousin.” Fak goes on, nudging his brother for support.

“Yeah-yeah! Think about what you could do with fifteen hundred bucks! Cold hard cash!” the lookalike chimes in.

“Wow, no, yeah this-this sounds like the opportunity of a lifetime.” you murmur. Don’t take it the wrong way, you loved Fak. His personality was infectious, you’ve never seen him get overly angry despite the other guys giving him shit constantly and he genuinely goes out of his way to help everyone. Back when you first started dating Mikey and moved apartments in the city, Fak volunteered to make sure your place was in tiptoe shape and refused payment.

Just then Steve, Michelle’s husband, passes by and you seize your opportunity.

“Steve! How are you?” you beckon him over, scooting over on the tiny couch so he could sit beside you.

“Ah, yes. Mikey’s girl who we aren’t sure how he managed to snag. Good to see you again.”

You brush off his comment with a tired smile, gesturing to Fak and his brother. “So, these guys have a proposition for you, right?”

You nod enthusiastically with them, giving Fak a secret wink.

“Oh, yes! Yes! Do you like baseball cards, Steve?”

“On that note,” you stand up and maneuver yourself out the nook. “I’m gonna go get a refill. Leave you gentlemen to handle business.”

Mocking a military salute, you dash towards the kitchen bypassing other members of the family.

Donna flurries around the kitchen, shouting instructions to no one in particular. You didn’t greet her as soon as you came in, knowing how she gets around this time of the year. To be honest, you were sure that she didn’t exactly like you.

“Donna, my goodness! You look wonderful.” you lay the complement on sweetly, smiling brightly. If you don’t wilt in her presence, she wouldn’t be able to smell the fear on you.

Donna swivels her head to look at you, cigarette dangling from her lipstick smeared lips. Eyes lined in thick mascara, her disapproving expression ripples through you. You smile wider.

“I brought over a little casserole. I figured it would compliment the fish nicely.”

Shifting to face you fully, Donna crosses her arms. “Casserole? What casserole?”

You point to the tin foiled dish. “That one. Mikey brought in, did he not tell you?”

She scoffs. “Yeah, just like he told me about him breaking things off with what’s her name.”

“Anna.” you mutter, swallowing the lump that quietly made its way up your throat.

“Yeah, Anna.” Donna turns back to the task at hand, haphazardly swinging a knife about. “I liked her better.”

Forgoing your much desired glass of wine, you stalk out of the kitchen. On the outside looking in, the Berzatto’s appeared to be your average family. The warm glow of the lights shining out into the frost covered sidewalks invited you in all those years ago and once inside, you then realized why people were so hesitant to accept invites or why Mikey refused to bring up his past.

You didn’t have this growing up. Your family life was much quieter, mom and dad both kept to themselves. Distant cousins never visited for the holidays and you were an only child so there weren’t any siblings to fall back on.

It was boring.

Drove you crazy.

So when the Berzatto’s welcomed you in with open arms (well, some of them) you threw yourselves to the wolves willingly. It helped you grow a thick skin, talk over people and man handle the biggest guys in the room. For that, you were thankful.

A hand reaches out and grabs your wrist, dragging you away from everyone and up the stairs. Mikey is headstrong in his quest to get you alone, not caring to see if you were keeping up the pace. You both stagger inside his room, the door shut soundly behind you, followed by the lock turning.

Mikey doesn’t give you a second to react, mouth leaving open tongued kisses along your jaw and collarbone, hands working at tugging up your skirt.

“Mikey, baby, baby, wait-” you plead, backing up to create space between the two of you.

He flops onto the bed, hands on his knees, fingers raking through his hair again and again.

You’re careful as you sit next to him, scratching your own fingers along the center of his back. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” is all he utters.

“Bullshit. Talk to me.”

He doesn’t have to say anything else, you get it. The party continues below you both, profanities and insults flying like it's nobody's business. It was too much. For Mikey, Camry, anyone. The more time you spent with his family, the more you realized why Carmen never came back to visit. Why Michelle skipped out of town and up to New York. Anything to keep the family an arms distance away. 

Why Mikey feels trapped.

“I know.” you whisper against his shoulder, mouth pressing in tiny kisses. You lift his head up with both of your hands, cradling his face gingerly. The tiredness exudes for nearly every crevice, eye bags worn and solidified. You use your thumb to smooth out his forehead, laughing softly when he wrinkles it more.

“You’ll always have me, Berzatto.”

“I don’t deserve you. Never did.”

You tut. “That’s not true. You’ve always had me. From the moment you sold me that greasy, sloppy sandwich down at The Beef. I was a goner.”

Mikey chuckles, leaning into your hands more. “I got you something.”

Your eyes go wide, brows forming a skeptical look. “Is that so?”

Mikey flickers his eyes down to his pants and you scoff.

“Wow, Michael. Are you gifting me your penis? Again? I must’ve been too nice this year.” you gently slap his face in mock anger.

“Haha,” he deadpans. “Try my pockets, detective wiseass.”

You let go of his face and rummage through his pants pocket, producing a ball of torn tissue paper, kept together by a single piece of tape. Confused but curious, you unwrap the gift, facing dropping as your eyes find his.

The tissue tumbles to the ground, revealing a necklace. At the bottom of it dangled a charm of…cheese?

“I remember the first day you came into the shop. Like a goddamn bat outta hell. Never seen anything like it. You ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and asked for, um, what was it?”

“Havarti-”

That’s right! Fuckin’ havarti cheese! What the hell even is that?”

“How do you own a sandwich shop and not provide a variety of cheeses, I don’t understand it.”

Mikey gawks at you. “Babe, we’re called The Beef. Not the cheese. But you wanna know what I did?”

You encourage him to finish, as if you didn’t know the rest of the story.

“I told you to wait and-and I was gonna go check in the back. I booked it out of the back door, all the way down to Malik’s corner store and bought the most expensive cheese he had. I rush back to the shop and guess what?”

“You made the sandwich.”

Mikey’s face cracks into the biggest grin you’d ever seen, eyes crinkled at the corners. “I made the goddamn sandwich. Brought it out to you myself. Told you that we didn’t serve grilled cheese but for you, I’d make an exception.”

Your eyes well over in tears and you blink rapidly to keep them from falling. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has done for me, ya know.”

“You’re telling me all I had to do was buy you some cheese to get in your pants? Hot damn.”

You playfully shove Mikey back against the bed, crawling over to straddle him. “Well, it worked after a while, didn’t it?”

Mikey thrusts upwards, growing erection sliding against your damp underwear.

“It sure did.”

He grabs the back of your neck, surging up to slot his mouth against yours. You aren’t delicate in the way you claw at him, nails digging into his tanned flesh. Pushing up your skirt, Mikey palms your ass, stroking it before landing a hard smack against it. You moan into his neck, biting down.

“Perkiest ass I’ve ever seen, baby, shit.” Mikey groans, voice an octave deeper.

“And it’s yours. All yours.”

Mikey secures the back of your head as he flips the two of you over, pushing you down on your stomach. You do the rest of the work for him, sticking your ass up, and curving your back into an arch.

Mikey readily pulls down the zipper of his pants, hands readjusting his briefs until he is able to free himself. Spitting obscenely in his palm, Mikey shoves your panties to the side and rubs his saliva across your slickness. You buck back into him, whimpering when he graces you with a lone finger to loosen you up. You whine and wiggle your ass some more, ready to receive all that he was going to give you.

“Gonna give my baby what she wants, don’t you worry.” Mikey purrs, aligning himself to enter you. He slides in easily, the strained sigh as he fully situates him inside you never ceasing to make you wetter.

You pull yourself up so that you were resting on your hands, peeking over your shoulder to catch a gaze at Mikey as you begin to fuck him. He was enthralled at the sight of his cock pumping in and out of you, the way you were able to handle him without saying a single word.

He would love to take his time and thoroughly explore your cunt but time is of the essence. Wrapping his right hand around your neck once again, he yanks you up into a deeper arch, left hand on your hip in a deathgrip. He meets your thrusts with his own, dropping his left leg down on the floor to gain some balance.

Between the familial bickering creeping up the stairs, all that could be heard was the squelching of your pussy and the labored breathing of Mikey, muffled praises spurring you on further.

He slaps your ass again and you tighten around him, eyes rolling to the top of your head as you attempt to hold onto his arms for dear life.

“Mikey, oh fucking god, baby you’re gonna make me come so hard. Please, please, please!”

He answers you by sticking his fingers in your mouth and you automatically clamp down on them, sucking and gagging until spit dribbles down the side of your mouth.

Mikey picks up speed and the coil inside you breaks as you reach your peak, legs stiffening as you rear back against Mikey. He continues to fuck you, albeit at a slower tempo, humming as you spasm against him.

“That’s my girl, my favorite fucking girl. Where do you want mine, huh? Tell me where you want it.”

He removes his fingers and lets them trail down to tease and pick at your hardened nipples that now poke through your shirt.

“I wanna taste. Want it in my mouth.”

“Fuck.” Mikey lets you go and you catch yourself before you fall completely face first into the bed.

“Get on your knees, now.”

You do as you're told, scurrying to position yourself on your knees in front of Mikey. Mouth open and head tilted back, you let a hand caress your breast as the other slithers up his thigh.

Mikey is affectionate as he goes to grab the back of your head, other hand tirelessly stroking his cock. A vein pops out of forehead as he grunts, a few milky droplets coating your face, before steady ropes accompany it. A few of them land in your mouth and you swallow it all eagerly.

Mikey tries to calm his breathing, watching you with hooded eyes as you lick at the tip of his cock, cleaning up the remnants of yourself off of him. You take him down all the way to the shaft for shits and giggles, pulling off of him with a low pop.

“Goddamn devil.”

You wink, swiping at the mess you could feel dripping on your face. Mikey helps to clean you up, both fixing each other’s clothes to appear less wrinkled. Seemingly ok with your appearance, you start to head downstairs but Mikey stops you.

He steps behind you, lifting up the necklace he got you. He fastens it, walking to your front to admire it.

You grab his hand and bring it to your mouth for a kiss.

“It’s you and me, Berzatto.”

“You and me.”

Exhaling heavily, you open the door to reenter the Berzatto family chaos, a new found confidence lighting your path.

[xo-adeline]

hello i have a bllk request!

can i request isagi, bachira, chigiri, nagi, reo, kuni, the itoshi brothers and barou with a socially awkward gf/crush who (kinda) hates kids?

like reader doesn’t HATE hate kids, but is like scared of them. kids are actually scary especially gen alpha 💀. how tf are these little gremlins watching skibidi toilet with a straight face just a short clip of it literally made me and my friends so uncomfortable we couldn’t continue 💀.

so more like she can watch kids from afar, and if she saw one in public, she wouldn’t throw a rock at it or call animal control. but talking to them? interacting with them?? HELL NO SHE CANT DO THAT.

it’s kinda like how we see zoo animals. best admired from afar, and if she ever gets stuck in an empty room with them, she’s screwed. as if talking to adults and teenagers wasn’t scary enough, their school just had to pick an orphanage/children’s hospital to volunteer at. she’s hiding in the corner watching her bf/crush deal with the like 7-year olds (maybe younger, who btw, were most likely bullying her just now.) wondering why and how people could stand those little gremlins.

(better still, if they go back to his place after the school volunteering activity and his parent(s)/sister jokingly mention grandkids/nieces/nephews and she’s like “ew i hate kids” or smth like that, but maybe more discreet idk how to tell even my own parents i hate children, let alone my (nonexistent) bf’s parents 💀)

once again it’s not that she actually hates kids, but sees them as a different species and can’t deal with them because they scare her, and sometimes bully her. 💀

ik you probably have a lot of requests but i kinda need SOME way to overcome my crippling fear of children.

i hope you like this idea tho and i really love your writing 🫶🫶🫶

Ngl this is actually so me, I love this idea so much- But the best part is the fact that I actually worked with kids for almost 2 years, and my friends club has us interacting with kids too... (I tried to do most of the characters but I had no ideas for some of them, but you can always re-request with the ones that I missed and the second I think of some ideas I'll def write it!!)

Isagi Yoichi -> Do we not remember when that one kid stopped him after the u-20 match.. Bro is good with kids, so luckily he can save you

-> He will slightly chuckle at you when you show up to this place where the children (gremlins) are at you slightly freak out, and he will laugh at you even more when your awkwardly standing in the corner because your way to freaked out to actually go talk to any of these kids

-> Has to keep reminding the kids not to laugh at you, and that your just not the best socially

-> Eventually tries to find you one of those kids who are also standing away from everybody else for you to interact with, both of y’all have something in common, you hate the other kids!

-> He will very much get confused on this skibidi toilet bullshit (who isn’t, tbh-) but he’ll sit through it so they can be entertained while he tries to make sure that your still alive in the corner

-> If you actually started talking to the kid that he sent your way he’ll be kinda proud, I mean obviously it’s not the other 10 kids he has with him, but it’s a step in the right direction!

-> If not he gets it, I mean what he’s watching with them right now is downright terrifying, so why wouldn’t the minds who consume it also be terrifying

-> Later on when you two finally end up heading back to his house he tells his parents about how you two were volunteering with children and when they offhandedly mention that it would be nice to have grandchildren in the future he can only laugh.

“Yeah.. Unless I can get (Name) to stop hiding in a corner when they see a child then maybe..”

Reo Mikage

-> He grew up as an only child and I’m assuming he didn’t have a bunch of friends when he was growing up so I don’t think he would be the absolute best with kids, but still better than others

-> The kids will be a little confused when he starts trying to teach them about business and economics saying that this was the age he started learning about running a business

-> They might end up gravitating towards you since you’re just kinda confused along with them, trying to explain to him not every kid grew up with their future of running a family company.

-> Will totally laugh when he sees how freaked out you are with these little (gremlins) kids trying to get your attention and asking if your any more fun than Mr.Business (Which they had nicknamed Reo) -> Will eventually learn and get them to leave you alone, after almost 10 minutes of you trying to hide behind him or anywhere else in this room so they can’t talk to you

-> Ends up helping them instead with other things like reading and math stuff, not the brain rot of skibidi toilet (thank god)

-> That night you two had ended up going out to dinner with his parents as they wanted to have a nice sit down meal while they talked about what was possibly coming up in the future, including your future with Reo, and kids. He smiled and took your hand in his.

“After today, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about an heir to the Mikage Corp for quite a while of time”

Kunigami Rensuke

-> BRO HAS TWO SISTERS, One older and one younger, Man knows his way around kids, for sure. I take no criticism on this.

-> Is actually so good with kids, you now are speculating that he’s actually a single teen dad with like 2 kids or something that he just hasn’t told you about. He’s that good (it’s actually scary)

-> He will not let them watch skibidi toilet, another man who is respectable and makes sure they are doing educational stuff

-> Also makes sure they stay away from you for the most part, just because he knows that you don’t like having all those kids near you, but he may or may not send one over your way that he thinks that you’ll actually get along with

-> He wants to see what you would be like if you actually interacted with a kid, it’s his future brain thinking

-> That also brings up to the day that his parents (and his sisters) have asked you both about having children in the future, he would just chuckle and ruffle your hair a little

“Unless I would be the only one communicating with the little one then I don’t see us having kids for quite a bit of time.”

Sae Itoshi

-> Worst person to have around kids. I mean did you see how he treated his own little brother, smh. (DROP WHAT HAPPENED IN SPAIN, AND MY LIFE IS YOURS)

-> Does not know how to act around kids, just basically lets them do whatever as long as they aren’t bothering the two of you

-> To bad kids don’t listen all that well and he basically has to keep glaring at them from where he is sat at the only bigger table in the room with you, because these kids keep trying to get your attention since they know Sae isn’t gonna give them anything, which sucks for you

-> Attempts to try something once he realizes that you're actually pretty horrible with kids, let's just say the soccer he tried to play with them didn’t go all that well.. And you may or may not have had to get over your fear a little since a bunch of crying kids kept coming over to you

-> To which he figured that this wasn’t the way to go about it so he just put on some random movie he remembers from when he was a kid, too bad it was one of the ones from his flight to Spain when he was younger and it was all in Spanish. (It’s okay, they had fun trying to figure out what the hell it said, and it kept them entertained for quite a bit of time.)

-> Once the whole future and children conversation came up with his parents, he could only roll his eyes.

“Yeah, no thanks. (Name) and I couldn’t handle one of those gremlins, even if it looked or acted like us.”

[slutisnotabadword]

I decided that I’mma take a big step back from the 911 fandom, because if last episode has taught me anything is that you guys have forgot to enjoy the show you’re watching.

As soon as the episode is over, all I’m seeing is unnecessary Tommy hate, people giving up on Buddie and people criticizing people for giving up, people saying Karen is oc, and that Eddie was acting out of character, and blah blah blah, and like all of you are wrong LMAO.

I think the problem is that everyone is watching this show with the expectation of watching the entire’s show’s future in one episode. Y’all want everything now, and it’s just not gonna happen like that, and on top of that, y’all want everything to be what y’all expected. So, let me crush that shit for you.

NO, they’re not gonna bring up Tommy’s past. They actually don’t give a fuck about what that man did, and you know why? Because the producers of whoever on this show literally called up Lou and was like “Hey, we need someone to be Buck’s boyfriend, wanna do it?” And that mf was like “Yeah, sure why not.” That’s most likely what happened. You know why? Because Tommy is only gonna be here for a very short time, so who gives a flying fuck. And Tommy in episode 5 wasn’t even that damn bad. Eddie acted the same way in the other cursed episode years ago. The only difference I would say about them is that Eddie expects Buck to believe in curses because he known him longer, so now it’s more endearing and induces playful banter. And with Tommy, this relationship with Buck is more new and his irritation comes from a place of genuine annoyance, instead of more endearing like Eddie. That’s it! That does not mean that Tommy is the devil’s incarnate, calm down.

NO, Eddie isn’t going to bust out the rainbow flag and touch nipples with Buck in one episode. ESPECIALLY now. Look, I want Buddie to happen, more than the next person. But this is Eddie Diaz we’re talking about. Eddie has a lot of shit to work through, and I’ll be honest with you, we probably won’t see Buddie become official until around the end of season 8. It’s the hard truth, but take comfort in knowing that this is indeed Eddie’s season—hence, the plethora of photo shoots and spotlight this man had recently.

NO, the characters weren’t oc. Karen had the right to be upset that Hen was always missing out on their family’s big moments, and from the fact that Hen doesn’t really try her hardest to take off of work. In my opinion, I think that’s a great way to open up the topic of the 118 becoming everything for these characters—like Hen, Bobby, Buck, Eddie, Chim—that they would forget that they have family at home, because the 118 is also their family, as well. no i mean, is that so hard to consider? They work these 24 hour shifts, and even sometimes longer and go through these traumatic events all the time. Of course there’s going to be some intense loyalty and bonds that would seem to “overshadow” what they have at home. That is actually a very interesting plot direction the writers could explore.

I could go on and on about the wild takes in the 911 fandom, because there’s just so many that I didn’t realize before. But can we all please, genuinely, shut the fuck up. Like for two seconds and enjoy our show. Because let me tell you what’s happening, you guys are theorizing yourselves TO DEATH. You guys are creating these wild expectations and you are setting yourselves up for disappointment. It’s good to hope for the things you want and sometimes it’s fun to theorize, but TAKE A BREATH. Because we are starting to look like crazy people, and let me remind you that these people SEE THE SHIT YOU’RE SAYING. You don’t think Oliver, Kenny, whoever the fuck is watching you rant on and on about how Tommy is a bastard and complaining that Eddie’s not gay yet. Get y’all shit together because it’s starting to look embarrassing and WEIRD.

[thoughtswithbbg]

Chapter 3

    You stared at the two fully grown men in front of you, and you couldn’t help your thoughts that wandered, and your face flushed a very bright red. Gojo looked at you with a growing smirk on his face, his arms folded across his chest and made his pecs pop. You could almost feel your mouth water at the sight. Geto, on the other hand was staring at you with a kind smile. He reached out and hugged you close, shocking you and Gojo.

    “Thank You, so much...” His voice cracked a bit, and you felt your heart break slightly. You glanced over Geto’s shoulder to look at Gojo. He had a conflicted frown on his face, and you mouthed, ���should we tell him or-?’ and Gojo simply nodded his head. You pulled away and kept your hands on Geto’s shoulders. 

    “Please follow me,” You dragged him into your room and reached for the Jujutsu Kaisen manga you had to show him what had happened after his death. You opened the pages, about to show it to him when you stopped. It was gone. Jujutsu Kaisen didn’t exist anymore. But that didn’t make sense, because they were here, with you. You turned and looked at Gojo and Geto with a frown.

    “It’s gone…” Gojo cursed at your words and sighed, he didn’t know what that meant but he assumed it wasn’t good.

    “What’s gone?” Geto was confused, why did you and Satoru look so...Sad? Confused? Angry? He didn’t know but he wanted to. 

    You and Gojo explained a glance before explaining EVERYTHING. What happened after he died, how they were in a different world and other things Geto had to know. He fell silent and almost looked how Gojo did when you first explained everything. You felt bad, really bad. And also, a bit in danger.

    “If it makes you feel any better, Geto,” You started, having their gazes on you. Geto’s glare was making you nervous. “I feel as though, this is your version of the afterlife. Like your paradise after all you went through.” 

    Gojo and Geto thought about your words, and then have you comforting smiles. You sighed in relief, muttering about how you thought you were going to get purple hallowed or have a curse set on you. You paused in thought for a moment. 

    “You guys don’t have any clothes, do you? or phones, or shoes or-“ You started going on a whole rant on what they needed and panicking because you were broke as shit. They watched you pace around the room and didn’t really know what to say. 

    “Okay!” You spoke up after a bit of pacing. “If Jujutsu Kaisen doesn’t exist anymore, that means you all won’t recognized! Which scratches off one problem off our list. But the next problem is, I’m too poor to have two more people with me. Which means I’m going to have to work extra shifts.” You groaned at the thought, you hated working enough as it is but it needed to be done. 

    “Sooooooo,” Gojo spoke up. “What are me and Suguru going to do?” 

    “Well, you all will just have to stay here and entertain yourselves somehow.” You grabbed your phone and went to the other room to call your boss and let him know you’ll be working extra shifts. 

    The two men sat in silence, looking around your room at everything. It was…. cluttered, but you had a system even if they didn’t know it. You came back into the room a bit later, rushing to grab some jeans, a plain white t shirt and of course a pair of underwear and a bra. You looked at them, as if saying get out. Geto pulled his best friend out of your room while you changed. When you were done, you walked into your bathroom to put on a tiny bit of makeup.

    “What’s the rush?” Gojo asked and you jumped, almost messing up your mascara. 

    You glared over at him slightly before sighing. “I need to be at work in 20 minutes if I want extra pay and over time.” You grabbed one of your favorite lip glosses and began to leave the house. “Please don’t kill each other, there’s food in the fridge and a couple ingredients if y’all can even cook, and I think that’s everything? I’m not sure but please don’t burn my house down.” You left shortly after that, and they were both bored out of their minds.

    The days continued liked that for a while, till you finally had enough money saved up to buy the guys good clothes. You ordered the basics off amazon, just so Geto wasn’t walking around in monk clothes and Gojo didn’t look like he was going to a karate dojo. They just had basic jeans and some tee shirts that were just black, grey and white. You burst through the door after one extra-long day of overtime work and had the biggest grin on your face. 

    “We can finally go shopping!!” You had bought the bare necessities weeks ago, but now they can get clothes they actually like, with shoes and everything. You worked enough to have around 1,000 dollars of spending money for you and the guys. They watched you pace around the room, a growing smile on both faces. 

    “When do you guys want to go? This weekend, maybe?” You had already changed into your PJs and plopped down on the couch between them. You all had grown closer as they had been living with you. Gojo slept on the couch while you used almost ever blanket for Geto’s bed in the floor. He insisted he only need one or two, but you wouldn’t listen. You were living every Jujutsu Kaisen females dream, having two of the most desired men in the entire manga and anime living in your house. 

    “This weekend sounds good, it’s kind of weird being in another world, huh Suguru?” Gojo had spread out across you and Geto to rest his head in his best friend's lap. They did this all the time, sometimes you were offered an invitation, but you didn’t want to intervene in…whatever they had. They didn’t tell you and you didn’t ask. 

    Geto nodded at Gojo’s words, and you felt yourself frown. This had to have been difficult for them, maybe they want to go back. Little did you know, that neither of them wanted to go back to a world where everything went to shit.

   “I should probably go to sleep, it’s kind of late and I have to get up in the morning...” You attempted to get up, but Gojo forced himself to basically put his whole-body weight on you to prevent you from moving. “Gojo move your fat ass.” You rolled his eyes at how ridiculous he was acting.

    “You never hang out with us! it’s like living with a stranger, we barely know you! So, sit your beautiful ass down and let’s chat about you sweet cheeks!” Gojo sat up and crisscrossed apple sauced himself beside you. You felt your face flush a bit at his odd use of complements and words but shrugged none the less. You did owe them a bit about yourself, not too much though, you barely know them as it is. 

    You went on an entire rant about your life, your parents, friends, drama, etc. and they ate it up. Geto rarely asked questions to let you talk, he only had one or two at the end of a topic. Gojo on the other hand, had a million questions a minute. For every little thing, he even ended up talking constantly about himself a bit which pissed you and Geto off. 

    This went on for HOURS. It was 2 A.M. before Gojo finally passed out on the couch and Geto’s eyes started to droop. You smiled at them but yawned and told the black-haired male you were heading to bed. You fell asleep the moment your head hit your pillow, not waking until the early hours of the morning after your alarm goes off. 

    It was such a rude awakening, but you wanted today to be fun for them, they deserved it after all. You sat up in your bed and rubbed your eyes sleepily, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. You felt like death. You moved to get out of bed but noticed two figures curled up at the foot of your bed. Gojo had one arm across the width of your bed to connect with Geto’s arm on the other side. It shocked you a bit to see the sleeping in the floor, but you smiled fondly, they may have had a nightmare or something, so you don’t mind. 

    You carefully crawled out of bed to get ready for the day, and to make breakfast. You did a tiny bit of makeup, pulled your (H/L) hair into a high ponytail, did basic human hygiene, and went to start on some bacon and eggs. You began frying the bacon so you could get a big pile for the men, they did tend to eat a lot. You were making the scrambled eggs when two arms circled around your waist making you squeal and whip around with the hot spatula to smack them in the face. Gojo, who was the culprit, fell to the floor groaning and holding his forehead.

    “Oh my gosh! Gojo I’m so sorry but don’t sneak up on me like that you, disgusting rat!” He cackled at your insult and blew you a kiss from his place on the floor. You rolled your eyes and kicked him lightly in the stomach, from which he stood up and dusted off the invisible dirt on him. 

   Geto walked in a couple minutes later, hair a mess and rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. “Is Satoru being a rat again?” You laughed when Gojo made an offended face at his best friend.

   “Yes actually,” You were still giggling as you passed out plates and food. Gojo huffed but ate his scrambled eggs and bacon. You didn’t mention the fact that they both slept at the end of your bed, they didn’t need to know you knew. You whipped out your phone and looked at all the shops the mall offered. 

    “Okay, I’m going to put something other than pj’s on, will you both please do the same? we can go after that!” You left the table, put your plate in the sink and went into your room to throw some clothes on. 

   “Satoru, you get clothes on and I’ll wash the dishes, we need to make things easier on her.” Geto grabbed his and Gojo’s plate to the sink. Gojo got up and followed him, wanting to help as well. “Dish washing is not a two-person task.”

    “I want to help too Suguru, you’re going to hog all her attention! she’ll be all over you and I want some of that.” He protested, picking up a rag to dry the dishes and put them away. 

    “Alright fine.” They both worked on cleaning the dishes, even the ones that were already in the sink. When you came back into the kitchen, Gojo put the last cup away. You flung your arms around them as thanks, and they laughed and hugged you back. 

    “Thank you, guys,” they both rambled that it was the least they could do, considering you have done so much for them. You just laughed and told them to put decent clothes on before you all head to the mall. 

    The poor guys squished into your tiny car, even though it had a front seat, they couldn’t stop arguing about who would sit there. So, you simply banished them both into the back seat and turned some Taylor Swift on to lighten the mood. The song came on and you immediately started singing as you drove, turning it up a bit. 

    “You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, she’s upset,” You had sung along to the words as you bopped your head to the music. Gojo and Geto had never heard of an artist like this, but Gojo was quick to learn the words and sing along with you, while Geto just tapped his foot to the beat of the song.

        The Mall wasn't terrible far from your house, maybe a 20-minute drive. You pulled into a parking space, almost scaring the two men to death.  "Geez, you seriously can't drive (y/n)..." Gojo snickered at his comment when you frowned at him in the rearview mirror. You rolled your eyes and got out of the car, allowing them to exit as well. 

        "Alrighty! Here we go!" You drug them into several stores, making them try on all sorts of clothes and whatever fit them that they liked you purchased for them. You even drug them to a make-up store, only for you though and only after you got the clothes they needed. You smiled contently as you walked out of the mall at dusk. 

        "You spent forever in there..." Gojo complained as you began on the drive home, Geto fighting a yawn beside him in the car. You fought a yawn as well as you drove along a long road to get home.

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 9

♡ Chapter Inspo: Lyrics; Awkward (SZA) “You look at me different, so I let you see my body - now we don't seem to get along, now I regret it all.” ♡♡》》𝟙𝟠+ 𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕐 𝔽𝕀ℂ! ℕ𝕆 𝕄𝕀ℕ𝕆ℝ𝕊 𝔸𝕃𝕃𝕆𝕎𝔼𝔻《《♡♡ ♡ Summary: Carm closes his day off w/ Winnie. Winnie, Syd, & Sadie shoot the shit, and disconnect Winnies mushy heart from her hook-up antics. Carm feels rejected by Winnie not knowing the whole story, and lands himself back in a support group (by choice). Sugar wins Big Sissy of the year award. ♡ W/C: 9,444 (angel #’s purr!) ♡ Posted Date: 02/23/24 ♡ A/N: Hayoooo! I hope y’all love this chap. - Next one will be long and juicy since its the 10th… hm.. Not feelin’ very wordy for some reason. Oh!! I saw the new ep. Of The Good Doctor- I MISSED MY SHAUN MURPHY!!!! I <3 MY GOOD DOCTOR!!! Anyhoot- ennjoooy this chap frayndss :D ♡ Warnings for BTC: MAJOR talks of Suicide, grief talk, sad / insecure Carm, swearing, smoking, drinking(cant remember so just in case?), mentions of chronic pain, think that’s all.

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈

Winnie’s P.O.V. -

I came back to the bedroom, teeth freshly brushed and glasses on. “Ready for some Drag education?” I joke, getting our fluffy blankets from the foot of the bed and draping them over us. “Mm drag education. Sounds fun” he opened his arm so I could lay on his chest. I laid down comfortably and he chuckled a bit. 

“What?” I asked and he curled his arm around me, gently rubbing my side. “Nothin’ just didn’t realize you wear glasses” he said and I look up at him with a small smile on my lips “mmhmm just another one of my faults, eyes that don’t work” I joke and he snorts, “you have no faults” he said brushing my bangs out of my eyes gently. 

“Okay enough flirting, mister” I poked his nose and leaned over him, grabbing the remote from my nightstand and turning on the tv. I went to Paramount and typed in the title, scrolling to drag race season 15 “okay…so this is last season, a lot of the queens are from Connecticut, but you’ll get the gist of it- and learn all the phrases that Sadie and I use” I said and hit play on the first episode. 

“Oh! Yeah that’s why my stomach hurts” I sit up and he scrunches his eyebrows “What?” He asks “forgot I was hungry. Watch! I’ll go make the rest of the pizza” I went out to the kitchen before he could reply, and preheat the oven putting the rest of our pizza from last night on a tray and popping it in, not bothering to wait for it to beep before coming back. “Okay so, I like the cute one, the little one” he points and I giggle, “Marcia Marcia Marcia?” I ask and he scrunches his eyebrows. 

“See they have weird names” he said his eyes flicking back to the tv as Rupaul came out and he raised his eyebrows ``wow” he muttered “thought he was a drag queen?” He questioned. “Not in the workroom babe, just watch” I settled back into his chest and played with his fingers, finding it adorable how he was so engrossed in it. I watched along with him for the mini photoshoot challenge and he scoffs softly “see…I hate her makeup it looks- it looks weird.” He muttered and I giggled. 

“See! I told you you’d love this show” I look up at him and he rolls his eyes “you tell no one at work we watched this, I’ll never hear the end” he said and I laugh, looking back at the screen “mm well…I guess another reason to behave yourself” I said smugly and he pinches my bum playfully. After a while I started to smell the pizza and sat up “be back, lovey” I said softly, shuffling off to the kitchen. I divided up the remaining 4 slices on my plastic strawberry shortcake plates and opened my fridge. 

“Carm, do you want cherry coke?” I called “Sure” he replied. I grabbed 2 cans, a few pieces of paper towel, and our plates, before heading back to the bedroom. “Irene somethin’ won the challenge-thing” he sits up, leaning against the headboard. “Got 2,500 bucks just for that. Good money” he took the plate and I handed him the can of soda and I smiled a bit. 

“Mmhmm, they win like 200,000 at the end” I said and his eyebrows raised “wow, hmm. High stakes then” he continues watching along with me as we eat our pizza. We were snuggled up, at the end of the third episode and he sighs softly, rubbing my side to get my attention. “Honey” he mumbled gently and I looked up at him. 

“I gotta…Y'know '' he said with a slight frown and lifted his hand to motion to the door. “Got work in the mornin’..” he said and I pout a bit, “I know…I know” I sighed and sat up, “it was nice, y’know- spending time with you..” I said and pulled on my bear paw slippers as he slipped his hoodie over his head. 

“It was really nice, Win, I’ll call you, yeah?” He comes over opens his arms for a hug. I nuzzle into his chest, closing my eyes. “Mmhmm, I’ll leave my ringer on for you” I said softly, breathing in the scent of his cologne, subconsciously trying to memorize it. “Y’gonna try and come down for lunch sometime this week? Mm? I can make y’somethin’” he said and kissed the top of my head sweetly. I smiled a bit, resting my chin on his chest as I looked up at him. 

“Now that I have two friends there, I’ll be sure to stop by more often” I said softly, and puckered my lips for a kiss. He leans down, kissing my lips tenderly, lingering for a moment before pulling away. “I look forward to seein’ you more, then.” He said and rubbed my back gently before pulling away. I walked him to the door, handing him his backpack after he slipped on his sneakers and once he put it on I pulled him by the straps, kissing him passionately, running my fingers through his curls, and gently tugging. 

He hummed into my mouth, his hands trailing beneath my shirt and squeezing my bum in his palms before stroking my thighs with the tips of his fingers gently as he leans against the wall in our heated make out. After a minute or two he pulls away, our lips only mere inches apart. “Baby, I gotta go, yeah?” He said softly and kissed my nose. I jetted out a pout with my bottom lip and looked at him up through my lashes. “Yeah” I mumbled, and pulled him into one last hug before opening the door. 

“Be free” I shooed with my hand playfully and he chuckled. “Until next Saturday yeah? I’ll be waiting to see what happens to our bunny friend” he pecks my lips on the way out the door and I smiled. “Mmhmm, don’t work too hard this week” I said and he rolled his eyes jokingly. “Mm- ye’ I’ll try” he said and I shook my head with a grin, shutting the door. I leaned against it with my full weight, and sighed deeply when I knew he was well out of earshot, sliding to the floor pathetically in a heap, covering my face in my hands. 

I need to process this. 

I hastily got up off of the floor, padding heavily into my bedroom, and picking up my phone off the charger. It smells like him in here - and I’m unsure how I felt about it. I grabbed my bong and a lighter, as well as my little lavender tin of pre-ground flower, and went to sit out on the balcony outside my bedroom, FaceTiming Sadie. She answers by the end of the second ring.

“Biiiitch - ok wait, you didn’t call last night so before you start- Say hey Syddd! We’re wine drunkkk” She giggled, already gone- and turned her phone on it’s side, leaning it up against god only knows what so I could see them both together and I bit my lip, trying to appear happy. Shit. 

I just wanted to air out everything to Sadie but of course she and Syd are hanging out- when she isn’t with me she was with her. This was going to be harder to navigate then I thought. 

I stuffed my bowl full of flower with my fingers, “hey!” I said trying to sound enthusiastic and I lit it, taking a deep inhale. 

“Dude did you fuck him I need all the details like - S-O-U Winnie!!!” Sydney said and I nearly choked out a lung laughing, completely not expecting her to be so open about me being with him knowing how she’d ranted about her frustrations about him before. Sadie busts out laughing and I try to catch my breath, drool pooling in my mouth. I dashed inside, grabbing my water bottle and taking a few big chugs before returning. 

“Sydney” I said once I caught my breath and looked at her, we all went silent for a few short moments, and before I knew it we were all giggling together again over nothing. “Stop! Stop stoppp we need details Winnie!” Sadie said when she caught her breath and I shook my head, unsure where to even start. “Well…Syd do you still want to fuck him?” I ask and she snorts loudly. “No absolutely not. Not anymore. I just stand that asshole at this point.” She rolled her eyes, taking another sip of her wine. 

“How do you mean?” I asked, lighting my bowl again to take a proper hit. She shakes her head, playing with the end of one of her braids. “Dude,  Where do I even start?” she sighed deeply, thinking for a moment. “Okay, well let’s start with the fact that he’s so fucking selfish. Winnie- the only thing, and you’ll learn this sooo fast- the only thing he cares about, is easing his own fucking- his inadequacy!!” She said, talking with her hands as she usually did when she got passionate, just like Sadie and I. 

“Expand” I said after I exhaled, crossing my legs and Sadie took a big gulp of her wine, knowing she was about to listen to the following complaints for the third or fourth time over now. “Well, firstly, for starters- I’ll tell you the real reason he fucked around with that girl Claire. Because it’s what Mikey would’ve wanted him to do. Same reason he opened the new restaurant. Because he only cares about proving to himself that his brother would be proud of him. But- but he doesn’t even want to be happy! When that is really what Mikey would have wanted, I mean- right?” She asked and I swallowed thickly, nodding a bit. 

“N-no. No you’re right and - yeah that’s his biggest issue so far” I said and she laughed, covering her mouth. “Sorry sorry it’s not funny it’s just…wow he hasn’t even behaved himself? Hid it? Like…” she took a deep breath to steady herself. “Winnie-  I love you. You know tha, right, really. ” she said, I nodded quickly, my chest tightening. “He’s not a person to get involved with. Even for the dick. Even if it’s good which- I can’t say I haven’t thought about it - but you’re a sweet person Winnie. And as much as you want to think he deserves you - despite him being a little bitch. he does not deserve someone like you - period. Because he will forever push you away. We know how you are, and we know better than you know how he is. So, this will be my one and only warning about him - do not get involved.” She said and I bit my lip, nodding quickly. 

Don’t get involved further, Syd wouldn’t lie just because she wanted him for herself. She really, truly loves me, she’s one of my best friends.

I stare off into the distance, that thought bouncing around in my thoughts and the entirety of the day suddenly feeling…wrong. “Ok so now that we got that out of the way- how was it. Like is it big? Also how…like good is he?” she asked and I sat back, sighing softly. “That was another…downfall…even though it’s not even really a downfall!” I shake my hands for emphasis. “It’s literally- he’s so good like…well- he’s not pussy eating champion 2024 but” I said, earning a giggle out of them. 

“I was riding his face while we were 69 so it wasn’t like bound to be the best for me - but anyway he is huge! Like not long, but thick” I said, lighting my bowl and taking another hit. “Cut or uncut?” Sadie asked, causing me to snort, smoke coming out of my nose and I coughed a bit. “Guys - Italian Catholic? Cut” I said matter-of-factly and Syd laughed. “Okay but - please don’t tell me he has all that rage and doesn’t take it out in the bed?” She questioned and I shook my head. 

“He's actually like…shy? Even in bed! But he’s so hot you’ve seen him shirtless, right Syd?” I asked and she nods “oh- yeah. Of course. So…what like virgin shy?” She asked and I bit my lip slightly as I thought. “Kinda but like- he’s done it - but it’s been once or twice and that’s it like he got all his bases covered, practiced everything a few times - and that’s it, but when he commits he commits and he listens oh my goddd!” I close my eyes thinking about it and Sadie laughed. 

“At least he knows how to follow directions in bed if anywhere good” Sydney said while taking a sip of wine and I laughed. “Ohhh my god! Oh my god. He’s like- low key a sub but I’d neverrr tell him because he’d never let me touch him again, I know it.” I went inside, closing the balcony door and setting my bong on my dresser before sitting on my bed. “Well yeah but I mean- wow” Syd blinks in surprise, taking in what I’d said. “Wow.” She hummed in thought and I laughed. 

“What?” I asked “well- I mean like I said multiple times he’s an asshole at work, so with how brute and bossy he is, I like assumed he’d be like ‘get on your knees slut’ kinda guy? That was my fantasy anyways“ she mocked Carmen and I burst out laughing, “oh my god I wish” I said gasping in laughter. This is exactly what I needed. I needed to rip the bandaid off, because I knew Carmen wasn’t going to keep his promise, how he acted before we took a nap solidified it. He hates being with someone more than once.

“I wish. I had to beg him practically to tell me that he liked what I was doing. Like, isn't praise the first thing in porn?” I roll my eyes, petting Persephone as she jumps up. “Wait- wait- you had to tell Carmen Berzatto how to do something” she laughed, her head falling back. “Dude- oh my god! You are my saving grace. I am so glad I never slept with him. I'd have been so disappointed!” she said and I snorted. “That’s what I was gonna tell Sadie when I called actually… I mean- like I said he follows directions sooo well, but I wanted him to throw me around a little and he didn’t” I shrugged, picking at my nails. 

“So if he asks, will you see him again?” She asked and I nibbled the inside of my lip nervously. “We had like…. We cuddled and stuff I’m never-“ swallowed thickly, my heart beginning to ache- remembering how attached I’d really felt to the day we’d had together, underneath all the anger I was feeling that he was so emotionally guarded. “I’m not doing that again- ever with him. But he has a really nice dick- we fucked in the shower?” I laughed and Sadie and Syd burst out laughing again. 

“And ohh my god. The most dominant thing he did was like spank me- I don’t know what came over him! I was like oop!” I giggled and Sadie snorted, Syd leaning over the table in laughter. “Sooo he made you finish?!” Sadie asks and I nod “oh yeah- I mean. Like I said. He listens really well he just needs to be told what to do.” I said. “So he fucks like a puppy?” Syd teased and I rolled my eyes, laughing a bit. “In a way. But it’s like- he can learn. That’s why I’m kinda like…” I sighed softly, looking away. 

“I dunno..I dunno” I shook my head and sighed a bit. “The Carmen Berzatto effect, welcome.” Syd said sarcastically and I rolled my eyes. “But he- he’s…so sweet” I sighed, playing with the ends of my hair. “And…like- I dunno. I’m slipping back into my old ways. I want to fix him” I rolled my eyes at the realization and rubbed my face. 

“Wooooow!” Sadie drawls “holy shit! Well maybe you aren’t slipping because I’ve never heard you come to that realization before you run yourself to the bone for someone who can’t be fixed.” Sadie said and I sighed deeply, knowing deep down she was right. “What if he does the work?” I asked hopefully, “he won’t. He like- I dunno I don’t wanna say he hates himself, but he hates himself. Like any sense of good in life he crushes it for himself because he thinks he works better if he has nothing and he’s always chasing something.” Syd said and shrugged, her voice even and calm. 

It was about an hour and a half of me divulging nearly every detail of the night to them other than the intimate details of Carmen telling me how many people he’d had sex with before we were all talked out. 

 I swallow thickly. “I’m just- I’m gonna shower guys. I love you Syd, thanks for not being mad at me. And…I’m- I’m sorry. I’m sorry for doing that.” I said honestly and she shakes her head. 

“Honestly, he may be happy this week cause he got his dick wet for once- so he might not be such a terror at work. Just…sleep it off. It was once, Winnie, but I promise- If you let yourself get involved further, he is going to hurt you. We didn’t even get anywhere and when he cut me off cold emotionally after Claire? I felt like a fucking nutcase. It’s for your own good, just - forget him, okay?” She said and I nodded softly. 

“Love you” I replied before hanging up 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Carmy’s P.O.V. -

After my night with Winnie, I slept peacefully- the first night. I had a nightmare, and I only threw up once opposed to the 2 or 3 times a night it usually occurred. But by around 8 am when everyone started showing up, all of the questions were making me anxious, and it was generally pissing me off that Richie, Tina, Fak, Sugar, it felt like everyone except for Syd was up my ass. 

I stood at one of the stations, chopping up onions and garlic for a stew that Tina was working on, doing absolutely everything in my power to not think of her. This was why. This. The fact that her face was the first thing I thought of when I got up. The fact that every fleeting thought is somehow weaving back to her. I could not do that again. Just the simple fact that I was sleeping better after seeing her once gave me unending anxiety. 

If I keep fuckin’ around with her, Shes gonna leave. Or she’s gonna be taken. Or she's gonna realize I'm not good enough. Or she’s gonna find someone better. 

I dropped the knife on the cutting board with a slam. “Goin to smoke.” I mutter to Syd as I pass by and shut the back door a little harder than I meant to. I leaned against the cool brick, trying to catch my breath. I felt over my pockets, finding my cigarettes, but - my fucking light. “Fuck!” I mutter to myself, rubbing over my face roughly. 

This is exactly how it fucking started with her. Me losing my damn lighter. 

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut and shaking my hand, trying to ground myself. 

You fucking pussy. Get it together. You hooked up once you are not attached. You aren’t fucking attached. 

I tug at my hair, remembering the feeling of her beneath me, the softness of her sheets, that fucking mug. I leaned against the brick wall, taking a deep breath. I took out my phone, cursing myself for a small part of me hoping she’d texted me, since I was too pussy to say anything to her last night or this morning. I stared at my text messages, my eyes falling on my conversation with sugar. 

She’d sent me some “anonymous group therapy” shit about anxiety and she told me she thought it could help me. I'd brushed it off until now, but talking this shit out like I did with Mikey to people who weren’t allowed to repeat it- it sounded like it would feel good. I clicked on the lick, licking my lips nervously as it opened and took me to the page. 

Anxiety/PTSD ANON: Monday evenings at 6:00PM-9:00PM at St. Anthony’s Presbyterian Church. 

I furrowed my eyebrows a bit, PTSD. I hated when people would tell me I have PTSD. It’s so stupid- I’d never been to fuckin’ war. Or been raped or whatever. Being yelled at for being an idiot doesn’t constitute PTSD. But, considering people with PTSD are probably going through real shit, I’m sure it would feel easier to spill my guts to them then someone perfect like Winnie. 

I sit up off the wall, heading back inside and I look at Syd “yo- c’mere” I nod to the office and she follows, I shut the door. “Goin, on with you?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips. She raises her eyebrows, “nothing? Why…” she questions and I narrowed my eyes slightly. “You’ve avoided me today. So again what’s up.” I asked and she shook her head, rolling her eyes slightly. 

“I don’t have time for this, Chef,” she said and sighed a bit. “You know what I’m talking about. You were on my ass Friday about me wanting to get out early and you were dying to know why- and you come in on Monday it just skips your mind?” I shrug, crossing my arms. 

“Look” she snips, taking her hand off the doorknob. “I don’t know what you think is going on, Chef. But I’ll have you know- I’ve had zero interest in your personal life again, until you started sneaking around here with one of my closest friends- and my cousins, who’s more like my sister- her best friend. So let’s just say, after the conversation she and I had-“ she looks at me pointedly. 

“An honest, open, friend to friend, girl to girl conversation, Carmen- you will have nothing to worry about me, and my interest in your “personal” life - anymore.” She said and left the office with a slam. I felt my heart sink to my stomach, fuck. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuck. Fuck. 

I could hear a ringing in my ears and my vision blurred slightly. I get the familiar feeling in my chest and sit down, clutching my head in my hands and spiraling into one of my episodes. 

My “personal” life. Ouch. I knew after what happened with Claire things had been…different between us- but I didn’t think she cared. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

I tug on my hair, my eyes screwed shut and breathing labored as my thoughts continue racing. 

Fuck. What did - did she tell her? Did she tell them about- oh my god I’m such a fucking moron. Of course she did. Of course. That’s- Winnie’s best friend- oh my god why did I trust her. Fuck. And - and she thinks I’m gonna fucking hurt her. She knows I would hurt her. 

“Sour things give you something to focus on” 

Her voice rings throughout my mind. I took a shaking breath, opening my office drawer and grabbed one of the sour warhead things I’d gotten on the walk home after that night with Winnie, and popped it in my mouth. I cringe at the sensation, but immediately am pulled back, for now. 

I spit the candy in the garbage can after a few grueling moments to be sure I got the full effect, before pulling my phone out of my pocket. Before I knew it with shaking hands, I was calling Winnie. After just 3 short rings the phone clicks and I sit up a bit 

Please leave a message after the tone for - Heyy it’s Winnie, I can’t talk right now, if you wanna leave me a message cool- but I’m better at texts. Ciao! *beep*

I took the phone away from my ear, quickly hanging up. At the sound of her voice I felt like I could breathe again. I bit my lip gently, considering texting her and telling her to call me back- but she would if she wanted. I shook my head, setting an alarm for 5 to remind myself to leave for that group thing, before locking my phone and heading back into the kitchen. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Winnie’s P.O.V . -

I went to the back around 5, finally finished cleaning up after a story hour today. It was Sadie’s day off and Mel was out sick so I was running the store alone, I barely got a break to take a piss let alone have a quiet thought to myself from the moment I got here. 

I sighed deeply, rubbing my bad hip that was driving me nuts today. The only thought that had been running through my head was how much I wanted to see Carmen. I was kind of grateful that the store had been so busy today because if it had been dead slow I’d probably have just locked up and gone to find if he was out for a smoke every few hours hoping I’d get lucky. 

It took me a while to finish cleaning up after the littles, and vacuum the whole floor considering the aching pain in my hip that was reverberating through my thigh and knee all the way up to my ribs. By the time I was squatted by the vacuum, in the back of the store, rolling up the cord it finally gave out on me and I collapsed to the floor in a heap, my head landing in my purse under the desk. How convenient. 

“Fuckin shit” I muttered to myself, knowing it would be at least 20 minutes before I would be able to use it again. I huffed, sitting up and banging my head under the desk in the process and groaning “ow” I whined, rubbing my head and leaning on my hip that wasn’t throbbing intensely. After a minute or so I dug through my purse, pulling my phone out. I scroll through the notifications from the day, Tik Toks from Sadie, news reports, a few texting ads when I see it towards the middle of the stack. 

Carm🧸 1 missed call 

I swallowed thickly - why was he calling me in the middle of the day? I checked our conversation to see the last text that was sent was still from when I’d told him my apartment number. I bit my lip gently, going over to Twitter to try and forget about him. I scroll through different posts, liking some of them, until my hip finally feels well enough again to try and stand. 

I slowly shifted my weight on to my good side, gently lifting my hip and letting out a small cry at the shooting pain as I pulled my knee up to get my foot in a standing position. “God fucking damn it” I cried out in pain as I haul myself standing, my arms shaking in pain as I lower myself as gently as I could in to the desk chair. I took a heaving breath, wiping away the tears from the corners of my eyes and swallowing thickly. I was absolutely not going to make it 2 blocks on this hip tonight. 

It had to have been all the exertion of the shower with Carmen, mixed with not sitting down only for 30 minutes today while I read to the kids. I rubbed my forehead in frustration, opening up the Uber app and seeing since it was ‘peak pricing’ it was gonna cost me $40 to get from the store home, and I do not have that kind of money. 

I groaned, sitting back and thinking to myself if trying to wait it out would just get me in a worse position of being stuck here all night because Sadie has no car or not eating dinner for the rest of the week, since my groceries were dwindling and I didn’t get paid until Friday. I huffed, “no, I can fucking make it” I muttered, I pull myself up, nearly screaming at the pain screaming at me to stop, and yank my jacket over my arms. 

With shaking hands, I got my keys out of my purse, flicking lights off as I limped, every step feeling like my leg was about to fall out like a Barbie that had never been properly popped into place. I groan quietly in pain every few steps, barely being able to lock the door from how violently my hands were moving. I looked both ways across the street, knowing it wasn’t long before a car came along. I try to take as big of strides I could into the alley. 

I honestly didn’t give a fuck if I ran in to Carmen right now, I was not walking an extra three blocks in my condition just to avoid him. I lean against the wall, feeling that familiar shaking in my bad hip like it was telling me it was counting down before it gave way and barely got to the steps outside of the bear's kitchen door before collapsing with a grunt, the pain vibrating through my spine at the fall. 

“Fuck” I whine, stretching my leg out in front of me. The faucet behind my eyes gives and my eyes are suddenly blurring with tears and I’m muffling sobs into my hand. The pain, the day I’ve had, and the worst of it- I’m stuck in the one place I don’t want to be. What kind of stupid desperate bitch will I look like if Carmen comes out to see me crying on the fucking steps of his restaurant. 

I swallowed hard, doing my best to pull myself to my feet but my hip had locked and it was no use. With shaking hands I take out my phone, and the door creaks open behind me. I quickly dry my tears as best I can “uh- I'm not here to see you I- I’m going home I’m sorry” I mutter. 

“Winnie the Pooh?” A slightly familiar voice said and I looked up to see Sugar standing there, a confused look on her face and I started to laugh to which she started looking concerned. “Oh!” I sniffle. “It’s you. Don’t tell Carmen I’m h-here” I hiccuped a sob and she furrowed her eyebrows, “no he's- wait” he shuts the door and sits next to me. 

“Why you cryin’?” She asked gently and I shook my head “oh my god it’s- I-“ I wiped my tears again. “My hip…I got in an accident when I was 19 and had to get my hip fused, and they did it wrong so it’s all fucked and it just..hurts” I said and sniffled. “Okay why- why don’t you want Carm to know that?” She asked “did he already fuck up?” She said with a teasing smile and nudged me playfully. 

“No- no he. Carm is…” I look at my feet. “Carm is wonderful. But he- he doesn’t want…what I would want, you know?” I look at her, still a bit teary eyed. She nods a bit “Y’know…Carm…somethin’ ‘bout that kid, he doesn’t allow a lot a’ good things…and” she rubs her hands together in thought, looking down for a moment. 

“I think you’re right, but it’s what he needs.” She said and looked back at me finally. “I won’t…get in the middle of this. But- just know, Carm could really use a girl like you around. He left early today…he told me he was feeling like it was too much and he needed to go think about shit. He’s never done that. That tells me you are getting to him to take care of himself. So if it’s a Carmen thing, pushing you away? Sometimes with that kid you have to force him to see what he’s missin” she got up and extended a hand to me. 

“What’re you doing?” I asked “cmon. Takin you home. Can’t live too far if you’re walkin’, right?” She asked and I smiled a bit. “You seem like a really good sister” I said softly and she smiled big. “Y’know. I always wished I had a sister, I don’t think either of my brothers have ever told me that'' she said, tucking her large purse into the crook of her arm. I crinkle my brows ``ok..well Carm and I will be talking about appreciating you because you give great advice” I grab on to her hand. 

She giggled a bit as she hoisted me up and I quickly balanced myself on the railing, my hip still barely functional. “Woah!” She said, wrapping her arms around my waist tightly. “The car is right there parked in front- think you can walk?” She asked, concerned. I nodded quickly “yeah- yeah. I might need to like…lean on you” I said, my cheeks going pink with embarrassment. 

“Course! C’mere chicky” she wraps her arm around my waist and I smiled a bit to myself as she helped me limp to her car. “You hug like Carmen” I said softly as we approached the passenger side and she laughed, “don’t tell him that. He’s always said I’m too ‘touchy’ since we were kids” she pulled open the door and I slowly got in, the pain in my hip dulling significantly when I sat on the plush seats of her SUV. 

She gently pushed the door closed, coming to the drivers side and hoisting herself into the large vehicle. “Trust me- I totally get it. I have 2 kids, my hips or my bladder haven’t been the same since” she said jokingly as she started the car. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Carmy’s P.O.V -

I tried to take a deep breath, staring pointedly at the church in front of me. My dark gray knit sweater was suddenly feeling itchy all over my exposed skin, even though my usual white work shirt was still layered underneath. I pulled at the collar of the offending garment, roughly itching my collarbone at the sensation of a tickle just under my chain. Taking a final drag of my third cigarette just standing there, I throw it to the ground, crushing it with my sneaker. 

You can turn around- you can just get back in your car, and go home. You don’t have to do this. 

The devilish voice bounces around in my head. I’m unsure what got me to drive here, what got me out of my car after sitting there for 15 fuckin’ minutes, but suddenly I was planting my feet up each step into the grand wooden entrance of the church. 

Turn around. Turn around. Turn. around. 

My entire body screams for me to run as I step into the welcome hall. This confidence to change so suddenly has to be the effect of a mostly-full nights sleep- thanks to Winnie of course.

Stop fucking thinking about her. 

I’m met with a folding easel, a plain piece of white printer paper with an arrow that points to the left, reading ‘PTSD/ANXIETY ANON’ in large bold letters. I swallowed hard, staring at it intently. 

Leave. Leave. Leave!!!! 

The voice in my head was so loud that in my rested state, it drove me to push against it. To deprive it.  I headed down the hall, the only sound being my sneakers tapping the tile floor and the loud fluorescent lights buzzing above me. My eyes fixed on a bolded sign at the large honey-stained wooden door just at the end of the hall, taped to the wooden frame. “ANXIETY ANONYMOUS” typed in bold letters on the same 8x11 printer paper and taped to the easel out front. 

I took a deep breath, blinking my eyes shut hard out of habit, thinking about what I was about to do- before swallowing back the anxiety and my hand felt the icy touch of the handle, pulling down and pushing it open. I met the faces of about 4 other tortured souls, staring blankly back at me. “Uh” I mutter, standing in the doorway feeling like a total idiot. 

“I-is this th-the.” I bit my cheek fucking word stumbling moron. “The fuckin’ anxiety anon meeting?” I spit out, trying my best to swallow the nausea rising in my throat from the crippling fear of meeting new people. A woman with a short bleach blonde bob, sitting in the corner at a large desk looks up. 

“Oh!! Joy. A newbie!” She chirps, standing up and walking over, standing a few feet away. “I’m Claire” she said happily, and the protein bar I scarfed down my throat earlier begged to make a grand 

reappearance.

“C-cl-?” I tried to grate out, swallowing thickly and my cheeks feeling so hot I was sure I could light one of my cigarettes on them. 

Run. Run, RUN - Carmen!!! Find the fuckin’ bathroom, slink out like it never happened. Bad idea. Bad idea. Horrible idea.. Moron. Idiot. Stupid. Useless. 

“Claire!” She repeats happily. “Are you alright with handshakes, dear? What's your name honey?” She sticks her right hand out to me confidently. My gaze meets her hand, and I swear my vision went blurry. I stumble back a bit. “Ba- bathroom” I muttered quickly, the feeling of vomit creeping up in my throat.

She gently pushes me into the hallway, grabbing the small trash can with her right hand and shutting the door behind her tightly. I ripped the trash pale out of her hands quickly, hurling my protein bar and whatever bile and water my stomach held for the last 6 hours In to it, squatting pathetically in the hallway against the wall and she stepped a bit closer, charm bracelets jingling as she rubbed my back while I wretch so hard I swore for a second my organs would fly out of my mouth. 

“Christ kid” she muttered, her nails gently grazing the small of my back as she rubbed soothing, small circles. “Know a Claire, mm?” She asked matter-of-factly when I finally stopped heaving, my brain fully empty other then fuckin Winnie reading to me last night. And the story of the stupid fucking bunny.

“Yes- b-b-sh-she“ I tried to get air into my lungs, but instead my chest forced me into a painful gasp. “N-no- used to…” I dry heaved over the garbage can so hard I dropped to my knees on the cold tile, and was sure I'd either pass out, or die of embarrassment at the pathetic sound and sight, feeling fully like a sniveling child. Unfortunately to no avail.. I gasped in a breath so violently, the sudden pressure in my lungs made me feel as if I was really about to pass out. 

I leaned against the cold wall, catching my breath before continuing. “I- I- fuckin” I winced at the pain in my stomach, my face clenching up slightly at the pang reverberating through every muscle in my body due to the intensity of all the emotions I was feeling at once. 

“Fuckin... I crushed on ‘er as a stupid, idiot kid..but fuckin hate ‘er now..“ I sniffle, mucus getting caught in my throat, causing me to choke and cough so hard over the trash can that my lungs burned. 

“Breathe, kid” she said, patting my back. “In through your nose and out through your mouth” she said and demonstrated a calm even breath. I rested my face on my arm, doing as she said, and finally catching my breath. “S-sorry I haven’t eaten much t’day and smoked like half a pack” I said and she nudged me gently. I look over and she’s holding a tissue, “thanks” I said wiping my mouth and nose tossing it in the garbage and leaning against the wall again, sighing deeply. 

“C'mon, you can just listen today if you don’t feel like talking. We have water bottles in there for ya’ “ she said, standing up fully and extending a hand to me. I nodded a bit, taking her hand to steady myself as I got up. She took the trashcan and tied the bag, leaving it in the hall before opening the door. “I’m..sorry” I mutter, shaking my head. 

“No! No happens all the time. Don’t worry” she said and opened the door. “Well gang, it’s us plus one newbie!” She said and handed me water from the counter at the side of the room before going to her seat and I swallowed thickly, sitting down on the furthest chair from everyone else, setting the water bottle on the chair before wiping my clammy hands over my jeans and swallowing thickly. “Alright” she said, sitting down with a clipboard. “Are there any big things this week that we need to start with?” She asked, I kept my gaze fixed on my lap.

“Yes- uh…my nightmares came back..” a small voice said and I looked up to see a girl with mousy brown hair and a deep scar on her right cheek. Claire nodded “did you want to share about them?” She asked her and the girl swallowed thickly. “No- no. I just… it’s about dating again after what happened. I can’t- I can’t. I’m always looking over my shoulder, I feel like a freak. It’s hard enough dating girls- and I- I have a hard time texting. And so when I meet them in person, I always catch them staring at me. And… and like I can hear their thoughts. Like ‘who is she hiding from’ or ‘I bet she has a secret girlfriend.’ And I - I’m so paranoid.” she huffed. 

“I’m sure all of us here have felt paranoid after a trauma, and especially, when experiencing something new, the feeling of…waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is very common. Especially if it relates back to childhood, those wounds linger for a long time. Has anyone else been feeling paranoid?” She asked the group. There was a silence for a moment, I took a deep breath, finding my tongue. 

“Me” I said, rubbing my thighs to soothe my anxiety. There was that familiar tightness in my stomach and my heart was thrumming in my throat. “Oh! Did you want to share more about that…sorry, how should we address you?” She asked and I kept my eyes locked on her, trying to forget there were other people there but still not wanting to sit alone with a shrink in an office. 

“Carmen'' I said and she nodded, “okay, Carmen- did you want to share what you’re feeling paranoid about?” She asked and I sniffled, rubbing my lips together nervously. “Ye’ uh, I met a-a girl. Last week. And I haven’t stopped…thinkin’ about her? Like. I dunno. I have sworn off women quite a while ago.” I rub my chin, eyes gazing to the floor nervously. 

“Okay, so what are you paranoid about?” She asked and my eyes flicker back to her. “So uh- yeah. S-sorry. Sorry. So uh- I work in a-a restaurant. And I run it, with my cousin and my sister. My second in command though, she- she knows this girl. And uh…I don’t know what’s been goin on? With me? And I…I like her. That’s-that’s why I’m paranoid. Cause I don’t…I can’t do girls and she-“ I sigh deeply, clearing my throat. 

“She told me that she wouldn’t pressure me?” My eyes met hers again and she nodded. “Okay, so you’ve felt pressured in relationships in your past, and are worried it will happen again?” She asked and I thought for a moment, rubbing the back of my neck. 

“Yes? Well…no..no not from her. I-I’ve been very pressured to like someone before and it was hell for me. B-but…that’s the thing is I trust she won’t pressure me. And I- when I’m around her, I’m not fuckin- im not fuckin like this? Like I- I can think, and I can breathe and…so-so-so if it’s not” I shake my head. “I feel so different around her? That’s why I’m paranoid.” I said finally. Claire sits back in her chair a bit. 

“Okay, so you’re paranoid she’s going to leave?” She questioned. I shook my head a bit, “no- no that’s the thing is that the shoe always drops for me, I already fucked this up by just being me. My- one of my chefs, Syd. She- she’s friends with this girl and…and I think she told her about all my…fucked upness. She-she warned her that im a fuckin’- a fuckin loser. I just- and I didn’t even want to allow myself to feel this way which is why I’m so scared cause I- I feel like- like.” I shake my head. 

“I feel like she’s good for me though. I-i just know I’m bad. I’m- I’m fuckin selfish. I would be a horrible boyfriend. I’m fucking insane I- I think. I wake up every night fucking throwing up. I- I obsess over things, and I just keep pushing and pushing until I get it how- how I see it in my head. B-but with her it’s like…I want to see? Where things go? Y’know? L-like I. I want her to show me…it’s- it’s stupid never mind” I shook my head looking back at my lap, pushing my bangs off my forehead nervously. 

“Well in here, no one is crazy. I think you’re paranoid of having no control over your emotions, Carmen. Which is perfectly normal. We can’t control anything in this world, other than how we react to our feelings about things. So, let’s delve deeper into your current self image- what comes to mind first when I ask why you’re selfish?” She asked and I shrugged a bit. 

“I fuckin’ shut the beef down, knowing it’s not what Syd wanted, knowing it’s not really what anyone wanted except for me. Because…cause Mikey left it to me. And- and I was like…I am fuckin’ angry at Mikey. And it was like- like a fuck you. Watch me do it better then you ever fuckin could” I said and run another hand through my hair at the realization. “Cause I fuckin’ - I only care about provin’ to myself that - that maybe I’m not a fuckin idiot. That I’m not useless.” 

“You aren’t an idiot, and you are not useless, and it sounds like you feel selfish- because you’ve found yourself in a pattern of catering to others desires. How do you feel about your own desires, Carmen?” She asked and I shook my head a bit. 

“No- no that’s..that’s what I’m saying I’m selfish. I - I’m a fuckin control freak at work everything is done my way, everything is tweaked to my standards, I don’t care what other people have to say about the re-“

She cuts me off “no- not your desires at work, in your life. Outside of work. In your relationships, friendships, personal goals? What do you desire your life to look like when you retire?” She asked and I swallowed thickly, my mind going blank. 

“That is a great topic for today, desires. It is extremely hard, especially after a traumatic event or even years of incurring trauma, and then allowing yourself to desire. We may feel selfish as Carmen does, after we incur tragedy in our lives- to feel joy again, or allow new people in our lives because we are afraid that if we desire while we are unhealed, then we were never really damaged to begin with.” She said and a guy sitting a few chairs away from her clears his throat. 

“I uh- yeah I relate a lot to what Carmen said about feeling selfish..after my brother died I stopped doing…everything I loved.” I look over at him, sitting up in my chair slightly. Cause I felt like if…if I’m happy then I don’t miss him? Or..or like. Like if I think about our good times together and loose the anger I feel about him killing himself for a few seconds- I feel like…like I’ll never stop thinking about what the fuck our lives would have been like if he just talked to me.” He said and crossed his arms. I sit up a little further in my seat. 

“Mikey - he was m-my brother. He killed himself too” I said and he looked over at me, “I’m sorry…older or younger?” He asked “shit- yeah sorry I should have led with that I’m sorry too. He was- he was older…” I replied and he nodded, swallowing thickly and looking away. 

“You couldn’tve done anything. I fuckin failed him though. He was younger” he muttered and I furrowed my brow shaking my head. “Nah. Nah don’t fuckin’ say that shit about yourself dude. Both of our brothers did it to themselves. That's one thing that we’re not responsible for. I’m- I’m angry that he- I needed him. Just like you needed your brother” I said and he nodded a bit. 

Claire cuts in “it is normal to feel angry at a loved one for committing suicide. It’s also completely normal to feel guilt for that anger. Jack, it sounds like the anger you’re harboring for yourself, for not ‘protecting’ your brother from himself- is covering up a guilt you feel for a perceived responsibility to the reasoning behind your brother's passing.” 

“I’m fuckin angry.” I shrug. “I’m fuckin- pissed at Mikey.” I said and she looked at me. “A question for you to ask yourself, Carmen, are you angry at Mikey or are you angry about the choice he made, to end his life, and leave you behind to forever miss him. Because they are 2 separate things. One is your brother, and the other- is a stupid choice he made. A choice that altered the lives of the people closest to him forever. He made the choice to have his legacy be one that ended in pain, and suffering for those who love him most. That choice, or Mikey - your brother that you clearly love very, very dearly.” She asked. 

I felt a lump forming in my throat, blinking back tears and I looked over to the clock. 

“Let’s circle back, yeah we have about 5 minutes left. This week's homework for you all, I want you to do one thing, or speak to one person” she looks to me for a moment “that you desire, and it’s guilt free, because you aren’t giving yourself the permission, I’m giving you the permission, and next week- we’re gonna talk about how it made us feel alright?” She said, 

“Alright. Hopefully I’ll see you all again next week. Same time and place per usual” she got up and went over to the desk grabbing her bag. I got up, grabbing the water bottle and quickly darting out of the room and back down the hall to the front door. I shoved it open taking a deep breath as I went down the steps 2 at a time back to the parking lot. 

I am not fucking going back there ever again. 

I shook my head to myself, but realized that I didn’t feel…like I was gonna have an episode. Er- panic attack like Winnie called it. But rather than everything I’d buried about Mikey felt like a hardened scab to a barely healed wound had been picked at and messed with for a while. It was an extremely uncomfortable feeling. This is why I stopped going to AI-anon. Talking about it hurts more than just focusing on other shit and forgetting about it when I can. 

I dug my cigarettes out of my pocket, taking one out and lighting it, leaning against the car as I smoked. I don’t know why Sugar keeps telling me that it’ll get better if I just talk about it, every time I talk about it I’m fuckin realizing shit. And I don’t like realizing shit. About myself. About Mikey. I’d rather just…fucking work. Just work. But I also hate work. 

I’m brought out of my thoughts to the same blonde that irritated the scab which felt permanently fused to my soul. “Spirits huh?” She said and I looked over at her. “Yup” I mutter, taking another drag. 

“I get it. I get it… if you don’t want to talk to me outside there it’s fine. I just wanted to say, I’m proud of you for opening up, good job. You should be proud of yourself.” She took a pack of Marlboro reds out of her purse and a blue lighter. 

“Thanks…” I said, watching as she took a drag. “No offense… but I kinda feel worse?” I said and she laughed, smoke spilling from her mouth in a cloud. “None taken my friend, none taken.” She said, waving her hand in front of her to clear the thick puff of smoke. “That’s good actually, really good. It hurts before it helps” she shrugged, taking another drag. 

“So- wait the fuck did I do t’you?! You wanna hurt me before you help me?” I questioned, pulling on my own cigarette. “Nothing oh my god!” She laughs. “Nothing Carmen! Oh jeez” she giggled slightly. “You need to come back, shut out the voice shooing you away” she said with a teasing smile and I rolled my eyes. “Sorry, not interested in ripping open old wounds when I’m already not able to process the bullshit I’m facing now.” I look at the ground, taking a long drag. 

“Mmm. Alright.” She shrugged casually, dragging her own and exhaling without a beat. “ what?” I asked her, dropping my cig and crushing it with my sneaker. “I…don’t care?” She laughs a bit. “If you want to stay in the mental prison you’ve created, so be it, Carmen. But- I’m here! Every week for the past 11 years” she retorts, tossing her cigarette into a puddle over the parking lot barrier. 

“Nice meeting you, kid. Word of advice-“ she turns to me as she pulls her driver's side door open. “Do the fuckin’ homework, mm?” She sits in her seat, starting the car. “That girl you mentioned, whatever her name is- I may be a shrink - but I’m also a spouse - the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about her? That's your wife, if I never see you again? I hope you’ve gone and got her.” She pulled her door closed without another word, backed out of her parking spot. 

I felt a vibration against my hip, pulling my phone out of my pocket  in case it was one of the employees and checking who it was. My throat dries out as I listen to the marimba ringtone, staring at my screen, my mind going blank. 

Winnie 🍯 Mobile 

The slide to answer button practically laughed at me. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

[cxhleel108]

LITG S8 Thots for this week: What a great day!

• Girl this compatibility test kinda made no sense like I’m just answering questions that so obviously correlate to Oakley or Shawn what is the point???😭

• And what guy would that be exactly?…

• Oakley being most compatible with me AHA! y’all are never tearing us apart idgaf😛

• She’s so me like why I’m kinda in love with her.

• Outfit time un!

• Ok um…roaring twenties!

• This is so Emel coded. Aw I kinda miss her a lil.

• That poem chile…Max you gotta go😭😭😭

• Claudia toying with Liam and Max lame asses ughh that’s my muva DOWN.

• Team Shawn and Kyle actually cuz Liam and Max fucking suck omg. Also yes Kyle romancers you’ve converted me a little bit, he’s cute.

• Pushing Liam in the pool wasn’t enough tbh like he needs to drown I’m sorry.

• “I can’t stop thinking about last night” You mean when I kicked you out and slept alone Shawn? Ok.

• Bro this same shit happened last season what the fuck did I need to put on a dress for just to go speak to niggas??? Fusebox will do anything for a bag😭

• Anyways, outfit time deux!

• Werk!

• Great! Now I have to deal with Liam for the rest of the season🙂

• Being forced to bring a boy back is actually so dumb. What is he gonna be there for other than to watch me ride Oakley’s dick constantly?

• As she should! Let’s not act like Theo wouldn’t JUMP at the chance to taste this coochie if I let him, please.

• Me just having the option to leave Shawn behind back at the Villa god I feel so bad. I still did it tho😛

• AHHHHH EXACTLY BOO EXACTLYYYYYY!!!

• PFFFFFFTTTTT BE FOR REAL BRUH🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

• BAD BITCH PARTY OF ONE! BAD BITCH PARTY OF ONE YOUR TABLE IS READY!

• I’m sorry but-

• So glad I get to let Shawn know right away that I’m a girl on a mission and he’s just gonna have to be okay with that.

• Bitch don’t make my girl already have to slide yo ass after being back for three minutes.

• The daybeds chat ughhkdkdksns just give him back to me already like y’all keep playing with me!

• Ok first off, I looooove Hazel already she’s so cutesy and fun and girlypop. Second off, I really don’t give a fuck what happened while I was gone cuz at the end of the day…Sienna is NOT badder than me…like at all.

• Outfit time trois!

• Cheetah print so I can show this ho just how fast I can reclaim my man oh exactly!

• Bea sis I love you but you can’t be mad at Liam for being an ignorant fool when you brought said ignorant fool in here like…

• Ooo wait this different scenario options for different LIs gave me Choices tease for a second…why they can’t do this more often???

• This shit had me giggling and kicking my feet god I love this man.

• Hazel and Hari are lowkey goals I love this.

• LMAOOOOOOO LAME ASS🫵🏽🤣

• Uhhhh Luna don’t be mad just cuz I got the attention of four niggas in here and you only got the attention of one. We may have made up but TRUST I got enough smoke for you and Sienna!

• Everybody just watched Oakley and I share this romantic ass, dramatic ass, chick flick ass kiss but they still gon act like there’s a chance I want somebody else I hate it here.

• Course it was Liam that started the big blow up.

• How dare y’all assume I’d rat my bestie Claudia out omg?

• Them bringing my name up in that argument between Theo and Claudia just for it to not even mean anything…like I said earlier anything for a fucking bag.

• You’re telling me Jin and Luna were actually able to end their pointless arguement in a time frame of under two minutes this time? Wow shit really is changing around here.

• AHHHHH YOU MAD🫵🏽😝

• Oh brother can we just tell Oakley that we’d never cheat on him and get to fucking already jesus why do we have to wait for that AGAIN???

[wildpeachfarm]

Hi Moku!

What does one do after taking a fat nap and waking up disoriented? They scroll your blog of course and keep up with the daily news! (And random absolutely serious discussions of underwear 😭).

I saw some mention of CCs moving weirdly again about the Dteam, and teaming with Sapnap for an event, and I’d just like to add my thoughts on the matter.

I feel like this is a common occurrence in the four years I’ve been a fan and part of this fandom. The process literally goes like this:

someone from Dteam (usually dream) gets called out for something, Twitter freaks out and reacts before the “cancelled” party can respond/apologize, upcoming projects are pushed back months/years depending on severity of “cancelation”, unrelated CCs speak out against “cancelled” party (usually Dream), project release is finally approaching and hype is being created, fans and CCs alike suddenly like Dteam again. And then it gets rinsed and repeated till it’s sucked dry.

Only difference in this case was it was George being called out and Dream sticking by his boy, rather than Dream being called out and Sapnap defending him. And it just becomes increasingly more obvious how performative all these CCs and their fans are, the more this cycle rears its big, ugly head.

I think the difference in this situation as opposed to others is that Dteams own friends (if you can even call them that) spoke out against George, and that showed their fans that George is absolutely despicable and irredeemable, making Dream also the same by proxy.

And with this knowledge I raise this question. Why was this situation the one that did it for them? Dream has been accused of everything under the sun (even lost a year of his life trying to prove himself innocent over false allegation), and they all stuck by him-very loudly and proudly, might I add. Why then, do these people choose now to revoke their support and end friendships? Especially without first talking to the accused party? Their friend?

Seeing people associating with Sapnap, the same people who were quick to (very loudly) denounce George leaves a sour taste in my mouth. And the people expecting Dream to just drop George irritates the hell out of me, too. Why is it so hard to remember that these three men are a packaged deal, regardless of how much solo content is produced?

Whilst dream was going through some of the hardest shit in his life, those two stuck by him. When Sapnap was getting called out for joining Kick, they stuck by him. And even now, Sapnap and Dream both released statements saying George is their friend, he made a mistake, and to support Caiti. Reading comprehension must be poor here cause nowhere in either of their statements did they say they’d stop being friends with George. Thats their fucking bro, and they will support him, as he’s done with them.

Everyday I’m further surprised why Twitter clout means so much to people, when that’s not where peoples’ fanbases are. The mob they are constantly trying to appease will turn its back on them the second they get called out. Y’all were quick and loud with your responses (George hadn’t even released anything yet), and now that dreams teasing his project release, yall want in on the hype from that? Sure, but give a public apology to George for the way you jumped to conclusions and basically threw away a friendship. And give him a private one, as well that you actually mean what you say (though we don’t need to know about that one).

“Watch how ccs move the next couple of days” “anyone who does something like that is no friend of mine” (not verbatim) ‘my truth about dream’ “keeping him at arms length”- that’s a whole lot of words to say you’re weak-willed people who don’t support their friends in time of need but actually care more about your image than being a good friend, and I’d hate to have friends like that. I hope if they do try to come back now, they aren’t welcomed back by Dteam. We all know Dream don’t care how people treat him, but he don’t play when it comes George (and Sapnap, but George is the one who was in the hot seat recently). I hope he “keeps them at arms length” for how they responded to the situation, and basically threw away multiple friendships.

Yall don’t get to act the way you do, and then try to reap the benefits of someone else’s hard work and success, especially when you’ve publicly ended your friendship with them. We’ve reached the end of that vicious cycle, but I’m hoping this outcome is different; I’m hoping this time there is no welcoming back for these performative CCs, and they can sit there and reflect on why that is. Maybe then they’ll grow a backbone.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the subject matter. (Don’t know anything in regards to the underwear discussion 😭). I apparently love getting on my soapbox every time I send something, so I thank you for reading it every time.

Have an awesome day, love!

-L :)

Hi L!! Yeah i absolutely agree with pretty much everything you said and I think what made so many CCs jump ship this time was the fact that it was a content creator within the community that spoke out similar to Shelby. However, that does not excuse their poor or extreme reactions to handling the situation.

I do think that the cycle you mentioned is super tiring and I feel like the community needs to do a better job of going "oh you dont fuck with us anymore? okay bye" and not following their actions for months afterwards to hate on them (unless we see hypocritical actions like coming back to hang with our CCs with no prior apology or public support because thats just a bit odd tbh)

I appreciate the soapboxing tbh!! It's always a good read :)

[galactandro]

Y’ALL.

I GOT TO WATCH DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE.

also EPIC spoilers about the movie so here’s your warning and yes i will be ranting on for a very very long time

starting off THAT OPENING SCENE LMAOOOO

WHEN HE STARTED KILLING THE TVA AGENTS WITH LOGANS SPINE AND HEAD 😭 AND THEN HE WAS DANCING I ACTUALLY DIED.

then we got sent back in time and we met HAPPY HOGAN. I WAS TOTALLY NOT EXPECTING TO SEE HIM LIKE THAT WAS TOTALLY UNEXPECTED.

then we got all of those fourth wall jokes and the whole feige/cœcåinę jokes oml. then we got a whole tva thing (that was very inappropriate in more ways than one)

bros stapled hair falls out 😭 and we see a little fake hair stuck to his hair for the whole thing.

he wakes up in the tva and we meet Paradox (aka the worst person ever i absolutely hate him-)

ANYWAY he gives us the whole “matter and be something” spiel (AND WHY WAS THOR CRYING) but wade is like stfu imma go find another logan to be my anchor being

THEN WE GET A MONTAGE OF DIFFERENT LOGAN VARIENTS AND OMG HAHAHHAHAHAHA

first we get comic accurate wolverine BEING SO SHORT HE HAD TO JUMP OFF THE BAR CHAIR 😭

then i think we got the 80s afro wolverine (hilarious)

and then we got the wolverine hulk show down AND WADE GOT FLUNG I LAUGHED SO MUCH HAHA

and then AND THEN. WE GOT HENRY CAVILL WOLVERINE WHICH I NEVER THOUGHT ID SEE IN MY LIFE HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

then we’re finally met (i think) with our “worst logan in the multiverse” (which is total bs) but we see him wearing his outfit (which i’m pretty sure we’ve never seen hugh jackman wear)

then they get pruned and i was so dam confuzzled. cuz i was like hold up im sorry what

but then we see them appear in the void with 20 CENTURY FOX STATUE AHHAHAHAHAH. THE ANOUNT OF MARVEL, FOX, AND DISNEY JOKES WE GET IN THIS. like when deadpool says “welcome to disney, mr. pg-13 except for one movie” LMAOOOO

we get an epic deadpool vs wolverine fight and we get like a lot of those because they’re not trying to really kill each other and both of them heal super fats so it’s jsut comedy at this point

and now

WE SEE

CHRIS EVANS CAMEO. AND WE FOR SURE THINK THAT ITS A CAPTAIN AMERICA VARIANT. AND WE ALLGET READY FOR AVENGERS ASSEMBLE

and then

and then

WE GET A FLAME ON

when my movie theatre watched this basically everyone was stunned. like we started absolutely going wild.

we see sabretooth, pyro (which i’m pretty sure is the same actor from X2), and toad like hello? i already thought this was crazy. anyway sabretooth gets his head sorta sliced off by wolverine (also why isn’t there a yellow font on tumblr?) anyway

we get a fight and they end up getting captured and get driven to CASSANDRA NOVA. LIKE WHAT. SINCE WHEN WAS CASSANDRA NOVA THE VILLAIN sorta OF THIS. BROIOOOOOOO

she brutally murders our beloved johnny storm after wade said he said a bunch of very odd things about her that was hilarious.

fast forward A LOT we were basically given a bunch of plot advancements and all of that stuff but i don’t want this to be super long so imma cut this short

we get four AWESOME CAMEOS.

ELEKTRA

BLADE

GAMBIT OMG GAMBIT WHOS CHANNING TATUM

AND X-23! LAURA YIPPEEEEEEEEEE

we get these awesome cameos and my movie theatre erupted into wild cheers bc we got the same actors from the original blade and x-23. WE GOT GAMBIT WHO IS LEGIT ONE OF MY FAV MUTANTS. WE GOT ELEKTRA LIKE BRO WHAT

AND WE GOT TBHS THING WITH GAMBIT SAYING ABSOLUTE NONSENSE AND DEADPOOL SAYS, “i’m sorry gorgeous, but i feel like we’re missing some critical exposition. who’s your dialect coach, the MINIONS?” AND I ABSOLUTELY LOST IT THAT WAS SO HILARIOUS AHJHAHHAHA

after this they make some plan about how to get logan and wade back to their (sorta) timeline and go ahead to carry it out. we get an epic “final boss” like fight and cassandra shows that she has a sling ring that seems to be from a dr strange variant with pieces of the reality and time stone (i think).

next we get this whole thing with the 100 or so deadpool’s with blake lively and ryan reynolds’ kids as different variants. and they also snuck in a little stan lee cameo there (miss the legend ❤️)

THEN WE SEE PETERPOOOOL WHO ABSOLUTELY SAVED DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE A THOUSAND PERCENT.

we have that whole thing with the time ripper and how if a person goes to stop it the anti matter and matter absolutely would rip them apart. we see deadpool make the hero play after stalling for a bit but he couldn’t reach the other side. THEN WOLVERINE STEPS IN AND DOES IT TOO OML (also i’ve noticed i haven’t talked that much about wolverine BUT I PROMISE I LOVE HIM 😭) we get shirtless hugh jackman and everybody in my movie theatre went wild… again. it was SO FUNNY 🤣. we get a whole ending with b-15 as the tva leader sorta. and paradox getting reprimanded as he should and we for sure thought that they’re dead.

NO THEY ARE NOT. they walk in like the queens they are and then that’s basically the ending.

EXCEPT FOR THE EXTRA CREDIT SCENE. then we see that all the things that deadpool accused johnny of saying before he basically got his skin ripped off WERE ACTUALLY TRUE. WE ALL COLLECTIVELY SAID LANGUAGE BECAUSE OML IVE NEVER SEEN CHRIS EVANS SO DIRTY MOUTHER (not me not understanding half the things that he said-)

ANYWAY I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS MOVIE. IT WAS WORTH IT. i noticed cute little easter eggs and the cameos omg the cameos

GO WATCH IT IF YOU HAVENT

bye 👋

*hehe we saw gambit (if you can’t tell i love his character)

[jackfrombaskinrobbins]

baking contest w/ the avengers!!

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 1k

request: yes / no

original request: OMG CAN U PLS DO THE AVENGERS IF THEY HAD LIKE A COOKING OR BAKING CONTEST?

dynamic: avengers x teen!reader (teenage avenger series)

characters: reader, scott lang, nick fury, clint barton, harley keener, peter parker, miles morales, tony stark, pietro maximoff etc

a/n: HECK YEAH I CAN!!!! i loved this idea sm i was so excited to get this request :D i'm getting back into writing so sorry if it's a lil bad lol. also guys i'm gonna open requests again so feel free to submit!! i have a lot of muse for spiderverse stuff atm hehe so i may post again today!! tysm, hope u enjoy!!!

taglist: @shefollowedthestars @thecloudedmind @ayohitmanddaeng

(fill out this form to be on my taglist!)

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so there’s this thing that the avengers do

in order to do team bonding

they’ll assign partners in the beginning of the year

& each month, a new set of partners will choose something to do

and it’s always super fun

like that’s how u ended up at the trampoline park last month

& how scott ended up with a broken arm rip king

so this month had to be something a little less dangerous

kinda funny when u think about it like it’s literally the avengers they’re in dangerous situations all the time

and while you wanted to do something different, certain ~forces~ kept preventing that

like y’all were watching a movie a couple weeks ago

and fury came on the screen 

how he could hack into it idk hes nick fury dude he can do anything

but he just looked at the camera and said “no more dumbass trampoline parks”

HAH

so yeah it had to be something tame 

anyway so this month was you and scott!!!!

best duo ever!!!!!!

so you had to plan what to do

& scott refused to go skydiving bc that was your first choice

smh scott it would be so fun!!!!

his arm was still broken & he said that was why he wouldn’t go but like…. scott we know ur a scaredy-cat

anyway you were trying to decide when suddenly he was like

“y/n!!!! i totally forgot! the great british baking show just premiered and i promised clint we could watch it together!”

and that gave you an idea

scott LOVED it

but y’all needed a couple things before 

first of all, u needed baking supplies

when i say baking supplies i mean BAKING SUPPLIES

there’s like a thousand avengers at this point bruh :’)

scott almost got one of those instacart orders for it but u hated the thought of an instacart person getting ur crazy order

so it was store time :D 

let’s just say tony’s credit card was used very well that day 😛

then it was time to pick teams

not everyone had to participate

wanda said she wanted in

so pietro joined too which was slightly concerning

the man literally burnt a bowl of cereal once

and ur probably thinking “how—”

EXACTLY

only you and harley saw it and honestly it rendered u both speechless

tony joined too

but you and scott made sure he knew that there could be NO robots 

vision asked to be a judge

scott said “vis, we really appreciate that but… uh… don’t you like not eat?”

“ah! you are correct, scott. i do not consume food in the traditional way. however, given my vast knowledge & global database, i do believe that i would be a very good judge of presentation and overall ingredient chemistry.”

“alright, you do that buddy!”

also off topic but why do i just know that tony would give vision the nickname “chat gpt”

 sorry i had to get that out ANYWAYY

you got a few more people to participate 

sam and bucky wanted to be a team, and harley peter & miles wanted to be a team too

yknow what that was fine by you

so the day came.

you had turned one of the empty conference rooms into a crazy kitchen setup

thx party city for the confetti & balloons!!! ;)

in came your loyal hosts, scott & clint

(clint begged you and scott to let him host, he kept using a british accent until you said yes & just trust me it was good that he finally stopped)

you, natasha, and vision were the taste & presentation judges

you surveyed scott’s & your work, pretty proud of how it turned out

“ALRIGHTY THEN, READY, SET, OFF THE BLIMEY!!”

vision shot you a quizzical look, but you just shook your head.

scott & clint rly were a…. hosting duo

yep, the most… hosting duo of all time

the hostiest hosters to ever host

omg the funniest thing was that they kept eating the cookie dough from harley peter & miles’ station

they literally had to push them away

peter & miles webbed their hands shut HAHA

everyone else seemed to be doing pretty well though

aside from their usual arguing, bucky & sam seemed to actually be making something good

wanda was perfect as per usual

and pietro was zipping around the kitchen, causing tony’s flour to rise up in his face

steve came over, blowing a whistle and pointed at pietro

you and scott had enlisted him to be the referee

yes, cooking shows don’t normally have referees, but think abt the ppl we’re dealing with here 😀

anyways finally time was up!!!

but you and scott still had a trick up your sleeves.

“and now presenting our special guest judge… GIVE IT UP FOR NICK FURY!!”

yes that’s right, he had said yes to this

after you promised to finish a mission report for him

and bought him some new eyepatches

which was why he was wearing a navy blue one complete with rhinestones

pietro was up first, and he placed four slices of chocolate cake in front of all the judges.

“i gotta say p, this actually looks really good!” you spoke, and he beamed.

natasha didn’t look so sure

“as y/n says, it does look alright on the outside. however, it does seem like there’s some sort of… strange ingredient in the chemical makeup… i am going to analyze for a moment.” said vision

“aw, let’s just eat the damn thing already!” fury spoke, and so you all did.

“mm, it’s good!!” you said, and natasha nodded in agreement.

but did not have the same reaction. 

he had stopped chewing, and his eye had narrowed. he was giving pietro a death stare.

“uhm… fury? what is … jolly wrong with you?” scott asked, his british accent wavering.

“yeah… guv’nr?” said clint.

“who the hell puts hot sauce in a damn chocolate cake. you better start runnin’ maximoff, because i’m comin’ for you!!” fury spoke, getting progressively louder.

“that one was supposed to be for y/n- i mean vision! yeah! oops. um…” pietro spoke, before disappearing from the room in a quick streak.

after that, fury left. 

and that's why now cooking/baking competitions are banned on the premises of SHIELD!!

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[jack-kellys]

hi guys i saw newsies again

i think what we collectively didn’t realize about the context of which santa fe is sung is that jack is beat to hell, like on his way to a concussion while he’s singing that. he is barely pulling himself up that ladder, he’s leaning against literally every piece of rail or penthouse beam that he can. like. santa fe is, really, a dream. he sings it when waking early in the morning with charlie and then when he’s fucking concussed. it’s actually a delusion in this version. god…

david jacobs will get his way or die trying and i have to admire his gay little snooty faces LMAO… “tell me how quitting does crutchie any good?” is said while he’s looking over the paper with his back to jacks with an eyebrow raised. and when jacks doesn’t respond (which davey doesn’t even see he just fuckin knows) his “exactly” is this sing-song told-you-so of-course-i’m-right and i’m obsessed with it

tommy boy’s like plot thru this is really strong???? he’s reluctant to strike and then shows up as a scab and is the last one to agree to join the strike, and then at the rally when jack betrays them he. he is literally screaming “we hate you! we hate you!” at the top of his lungs at jack oh my god. jack bromage i owe you everything holy shit

charlie is genuinely like my favorite character in this production. i think this is the best take i’ve ever seen, the best acting, the most genuine acting, like. matthew is that good, and so is crutchie as a character. he’s so fun to watch react

^going off that through the whole precursor scene to TWWK for him is like. visceral. charlie has an understanding of the streets and the police that is sort of… almost deeper than jack’s. jack is ready to fight, but charlie is like horribly aware of their position, and almost argues jack’s for-the-strike fervor against the strike. he’s looking at other guys with this older sibling “don’t be stupid don’t do this” look, he’s very in favor of finch’s “the cops’ll bust our heads”, and his “like we got a choice?” to henry’s “[can we sell] at those prices?” is definitive. it’s a fucking command, until jack says to hold on obviously. idk… i just really crutchie’s very obvious position as a leader in this show, and he’s not just strong for “getting through it”, he’s jaded from living with it. ugh. best character.

jack’s face through the “my daughter, katherine” scene is such a journey LMAO… michael is soooo. good. he gets so mad at pulitzer’s “and beautiful, isn’t she?”, he has this withering look when he says “i’ll tell her you said so.” god. and then the WAY that goes to a different kind of anger—

one thing about jack is that anger is not one emotion for him, and he shows it every time. disgust looks different, shock/betrayal looks different, rage looks different. he is so, so, genuinely angry as a character and that’s terribly romantic and sad. to feel the fight for every scenario in your veins, to only feel forced to run at every opportunity. god god god, jack kelly, the character you are.

also i asked michael to sign my sketchbook’s inside cover like everyone else has so far and he was SO excited and went “you sketch???” with the most enthralled inflection. and then we also talked about interracial relations on stage and jack kelly being black. and i’m really not sure how many people have actually asked him or told him how much it meant, because he was very ready to talk about it, which is quite bittersweet.

that’s all i have rn it’s late :( see y’all soon

[peachjagiya]

https://www.tumblr.com/peachjagiya/757909614093385728/dont-wanna-be-like-this-but-i-feel-so-bad-for-jk

I’m sorry but did we all watch the same trailer because what tiredness are we talking about? Does Jungkook really look tired to you or are you projecting tiredness unto him because that is how you wanted him to look and are just pissed that he didn’t look like he didn’t want to be there? In every single trailer that has been released Jungkook literally has his entire teeth out with smiles so big he could literally tear his mouth so what tiredness are we talking about here? Also, do some of you really believe that Jk was incapable of saying No if he didn’t want to shoot the travel show? Jk is literally a share holder in Hybe and we are talking about the same person who got a full arm of tattoos in an industry that considers tattoos a taboo. We are talking about the same Jungkook who when he was asked if he was punished by the company for going Live without their permission his answer was “punish me? At the level that I am?” We are talking about the same Jungkook who knows that the company doesn’t approve of idols going Live without persmission, falling asleep on Live or drinking Live but does it anyway and openly says he knows the company would be mad but doesn’t care. This is the same person you think couldn’t say a simple no if he didn’t feel like shooting a travel show with Jimin?

We probably didn’t watch the same trailers and maybe the few people who were selected by disney to watch the first 2 episodes of the show watched a completely different show too because all their reviews mentioned were how happy Jk and Jimin looked and how chaotic they were. I also don’t see Jk looking tired anywhere here so maybe I missed something

https://x.com/homeisjungkook/status/1819391163398316419?s=46

https://x.com/homeisjungkook/status/1818077419909349752?s=46

https://x.com/homeisjungkook/status/1818076161202700635?s=46

https://x.com/homeisjungkook/status/1815182824305005054?s=46

https://x.com/homeisjungkook/status/1815176379782025379?s=46

https://x.com/dreamjeons/status/1820156641087529441?s=46

https://x.com/dreamjeons/status/1818087012240420961?s=46

https://x.com/dreamjeons/status/1818075370542805171?s=46

https://x.com/dreamjeons/status/1815181718908760076?s=46

https://x.com/dreamjeons/status/1815177145636778023?s=46

https://x.com/dreamjeons/status/1815176377236164694?s=46

https://x.com/dreamjeons/status/1811554429381816529?s=46

https://x.com/dreamjeons/status/1811552059063148819?s=46

This is honestly so embarrassing for some of you because imagine claiming that Jk looked tired when every single video of him from the trailers and from the people who got a chance to watch the first two episodes completely goes against the things you have to say. This is not concern for Jungkook. This is just y’all hating the fact that he did the travel show and who he did it with and trying to project that unto him and it is honestly sad that you cannot even bring yourselves to respect his own choices, instead you act as if he was held at gun point and forced to do something fun with a band member he has known for over a decade. Really sad.

(and before anyone starts thinking this is an anti-jikook thing, I thought he needed a sleep before I even knew this travel show was happening.)

[im-out-of-it]

PSA: WHY THIS STORYLINE IS SO MUCH BETTER IN THE SHOW

let’s get to it y’all. I wouldn’t have hated the storyline of alec being upset Magnus is immortal if CC didn’t write it. she makes alec biphobic, has him storming out of almost every conversation, has alec trying to make Magnus mortal. NO TO ALL OF THAT. this is only about Malec TMI. the writing hasn’t improved but in TMI, it’s the worst

1. I don’t like how it’s not in Alec’s pov. why do we have Simon listen casually watching them fight and then making some remark how they’re all drama? last time I checked, they all have drama but saying or thinking it about the only lgbtq+ couple in the story so far is fucked

2. yes, Alec is a teenager but all of this is out of character for him. there is a huge difference between alec in tmi vs the eldest curses. and it’s partly because CC isn’t dominating the story and making it all about jace or giving alec the shitty parts.

3. Alec isn’t 100% to blame for this mess. so is Magnus. he’s hundreds years old and can’t communicate? also very out of character for Magnus in my opinion. Magnus in eldest curses is much better

all in all, the way the books handled Malec is upsetting but also childish. it goes to show that CC would have rather made them petty, childish, and toxic rather than giving them growth and actually spending time with the storyline and not putting all the focus on CLACE. shows where CC and her priorities lie

now let’s get to the good stuff. show alec!!!!!!

this is kind of the only time that Alec gets a little childish. he’s upset that Magnus will live on and on and they won’t grow old together. I think it speaks volume that as soon as Magnus tells Alec to stop acting as a child, he regrets his words

and this is why the show will always be so much better. they have disagreements, but they talk it through. they’re healthy and put their feelings into consideration. not once was alec biphobic. he was scared in a way that Magnus had many partners but only because he’s new to being in a relationship. Alec also doesn’t make it a huge thing. plus that reaction to 17,000 will always be iconic lmao

he’s not storming off (just this once) or hatching up a plan to make Magnus mortal. also Magnus communicates. if he senses alec isn’t over something, he talks to Alec and even goes as far to say I’ve had 17,000 partners and it’s all in the past. in the books, alec basically has to beg Magnus to open up smh

one of the many reasons show Malec will always be superior. Alec gets a voice, he has feelings he’s actually allowed to feel, and he’s not toxic. Magnus communicates, he’s not chasing a 17 year old Alec, and easily one of the best characters

it’s why I’ll never understand why people think the books are better. there’s no growth, the writing is lazy, and it has not improved. no world building, repetitive storylines that don’t go anywhere, and everything is toxic and stale. yes the show is a mess but they improved 7281791828% of it

all in all, alec handled this much better. even comes back to apologize and makes things right. I think that’s beautiful and one of the many reasons we love and cherish alec and also Magnus 🥰

[halfahundredcats]

There are so many times on here when I’ve seen a post where op is relating an astoundingly bad take they’ve seen somewhere, and I’ve always kind of been confused, like where are they even seeing this. I’ve curated my dash within an inch of its life, and I rarely see fandom discourse or drama except posts that (often vaguely) talk about it second-hand.

Well, I understand now, y’all. You probably weren’t seeing it on this hellsite. You were seeing it on a different, worse hellsite (namely, Twitter). Because I’m on Bluesky now, and while it so far seems to be much better than Tweeters, I haven’t yet had the chance to wield my block and filter functions as robustly, and I’m now coming into contact with some of those astoundingly bad takes.

I’ve seen comments on the DJenks Holiday Special Thread saying things like “Oh Stede understands now why Izzy was so mad all the time” and “managing Ed’s whims really is a full-time job,” and just. Fucking. No. No, Stede doesn’t relate to Izzy now because they are very different fucking people with very different fucking relationships with Ed. Being an angry dick has never been Stede’s way of doing things, with anyone, much less Ed. Stede’s brand is Sassy Bitch, and I feel like Ed isn’t even on the receiving end of that very often. Let’s not forget, it’s been two years, and they’re running the inn successfully. Ed is taking joy in setting up a beautiful dining table. He’s bragging *about Stede* when Stede breaks in to ask for his help. This is not a relationship plagued by constant disagreements. It’s not “trouble in paradise.” Ed saying he’s more of a “front of house guy” is clearly Dad slipping in a callback to the bts we all enjoyed so much. (Now it’s true that Ed is kind of ADHD-ing it in these scenes, hyperfocusing on setting the table and getting distracted in his storytelling instead of noticing Stede is slammed. I did see someone say that Stede is going to use his Captain Voice, and that definitely feels like the vibe to me.) It’s not like they’re never going to have little disagreements, but these two didn’t literally fight their way back to each other to be undone by the mundane pressures of running a small business together. And why would you want them to? Why would you want to look at this grand and beautiful love story and think “but consider how cool it would be if they ended up hating each other?” Do you watch The Princess Bride and enjoy imagining Westley and Buttercup’s eventual divorce? Not everything has to be drama and cynicism and people being terrible to each other. I especially do not think that David Jenkins is taking his Barbies in that direction in his fanfic of his own show.

I’m putting this here instead of responding to ppl on Bsky because I really *don’t* want to get involved in the Disc Horse. I’m just blocking ppl on there whose takes I don’t like. That is ultimately the way to enjoy your fandom. Focus on the stuff you like, don’t get bogged down arguing with haters. So this is probably the only thing I’ll say about this. Anyhoo!