#and after Jonny finishes the little speech his dad gives him but before he gets to one eyed jacks again

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

Pick something for me to write

Ignore the blacked out thing, that’s someone else’s document

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader -”What Death Tastes Like” Part 4

Scarecrow’s daughter might be only 22, yet the terminal lung cancer she was diagnosed with six months ago didn’t discriminate against her age; the young woman didn’t show worrisome symptoms until it was too late. Y/N always had a fascination for the much older King of Gotham and despite the consequences, maybe it’s finally time to do something about it.

Part 1      Part 2      Part 3      Part 5

Your Birthday

“Look at him, parading like a rooster!” Emma elbows you, huffing.

The Joker is on the terrace, nosing inside the coolers to find his favorite grape juice brand since he knows it should be in there somewhere. He’s sporting very dark purple pants and a much lighter shade purple shirt, fitted on his body to perfection plus two gold chains around his neck which makes one wonder why he didn’t add more giving his sense of fashion.

You pile up some fruits on your plate, gazing The Clown’s way with a smirk:

“Those trousers make his butt stand out.”

“That’s probably the reason for wearing them,” Emma sighs and you both burst up laughing, amused at the truth she admitted aloud.

“I feel this lustful desire of spanking him,” you blur out. “I bet your dad only unbuttoned half of his shirt because he obviously wants me to unbutton the other half: that sexy rooster can frizzle my feathers anytime he wishes,” you tease and she covers your mouth in a hurry.

“Y/N, can you not?!”

“Sssttt, you’ll wake up the baby,” the muffled sentence distracts Emma and she lets go, apologizing to the five weeks old:

“Oh, sorry angel,” she lingers over the baby basket placed on the empty table next to the self-serve buffet: Frost’s son is napping under the umbrella while his parents mingle for a little bit with the guests that already arrived at your birthday party. How did Jonny end up here? The crazy motive: his employer is to blame for the mess he created one hour ago, already fixed due to your sense of urgency.

The Joker showed up in time at 3pm for his “date” like you instructed; you opened the door and he immediately handed you a car sit containing the tiny human.

“Happy Birthday, Y/N!”

“Ummm…thank you,” the hesitant Y/N invited him inside.

“I got you a present,” he widely grinned, confident nobody else came up with a better gift idea.

“… Whose baby is this?!...” you followed him, carefully walking with the adorable bundle in the living room; the sleeping treasure fussed for a few seconds and went back to dreaming, unaware he was away from his parents.

“Frost’s,” J answered and you turned towards the entrance, baffled.

“I’ll go open the door for him then.”

“That’s not necessary; he didn’t come with me.”

“What do you mean?!”

“He’s off today. I just went to his house to drop up some ammo, then sneaked in the nursery and took the baby.”

“And his parents were ok with that?!” you crinkled your nose, more and more suspicious regarding his behavior.

“They don’t know,” The King of Gotham calmly informed.

“You kidnapped Frost’s son?!”

“I didn’t kidnap him,” J rolled his eyes, offended at your accusation. “I took him.”

“Without his parents’ consent. So you kidnapped him!” you gasped at the insane revelation.

“I’m in charge,” The Joker logic surfaced instantly. “I don’t require consent! Why are you staring at me like this?”

“I keep on hoping you’re bluffing,” you cringed at his argument. “Give me your phone!” you ordered and the item was shortly in your possession, although you had to witness a lot of grievance from his part as you searched for Frost’s digits.

Praise heavens you did since his wife was absolutely hysterical when you called: their offspring was missing from the cradle and Jonny might not be the type of person that panics, yet he had a total nervous breakdown.

They were fast to come and pick up Evan, so yeah… that’s how The Frosts ended up at your birthday bash… Full credit goes to their amazing boss!

*************

After one hour

“Do me a favor,” your father continues his conversation with J. “I want you to check with your contacts and try to find more Cromyxillium for me; I’m in desperate need.”

“Don’t you have enough for Y/N?” The Joker growls at the view of Bane’s son entertaining himself with you and Emma.

“For now. Tomorrow I’m starting her on full therapy; I found a new formula to bind the molecules together, this way her system won’t reject the medicine like it did last week. It will make her sick but I’ll be here to supervise the entire process.”

“Aren’t you afraid it will kill her?” J’s sensitive personality comes to full bloom in the best of moments.

Jonathan Crane is silent, then articulates painful facts he can’t avoid sharing:

“I am… I don’t have any other options on such a short amount of time…My daughter is fading… her lungs are finished…” and he gulps, straining to regain composure. “If this experimental drug can restore damaged tissue, it can aid with her cancer… She agreed to the test because I’m a super smart dad,” he grumbles. “That’s what she said…that I’m a super smart… I might be… I don’t even know if my remedy will work or if it will speed up her demise.”

“Fine, I’ll inquire on the product,” The Joker agrees. “What’s in for me?”

Your father takes a deep breath, exasperated.

“What do you want?”

“Excuse me,” The King of Gotham interrupts. “I think my pride’s at stake: somebody’s attempting to steal my date!” he inflates his chest and finds it imperative to notify the puzzled parent. “Y/N’s my date, didn’t she tell you? I was strictly forbidden to bring Mara so I had to maintain my reputation somehow.”

“What reputation??!!! She mentioned it and I thought the whole idea meant only you being obnoxious!” Jonathan huffs.

“I am obnoxious!” The Joker sourly admits and crushes the large group forming due to Sam’s entertaining abilities.

“Hey Y/N, where’s the grape juice?” he finds a random pretext to get your attention as you gesture towards the end of the terrace.

“There’s a bunch on ice,” you giggle at Sam’s story and J lies:

“I couldn’t find any.”

“Maybe someone moved it,” you detach from the gathering and stroll with him in the area you saw what he’s asking for.

“Who gave you that pendant?” The Clown Prince of Crime investigates since you definitely didn’t have the jewelry earlier.

“Sam,” you touch the delicate diamond heart attached to the platinum chain. “It’s so pretty, I love it.”

“He scored major points with the birthday girl, huh?” J mocks.

“Well, apparently some people are aware of my preferences and some give me presents I can’t keep,” you hint and The Joker comprehends what you aim at.

“My gift was brilliant! You said that if we would have gotten married we would have had a bunch of kids, thus it means you adore them. That’s why I brought Evan.”

“Yeah, and his parents already took him home, leading to the reasonable conclusion we can assess from the fiasco: you actually don’t have a present for me. Oh, would you look at this: grape juice!” you sarcastically show him the huge pile of containers exactly where it’s supposed to be.

“How did I miss this?” J pretends to be shocked and sneers when he notices Bane’s son coming near you two. “Dance with me!” he unexpectedly sweeps you in his arms. “It’s a slow song, just move your feet,” he encourages. “What do you want for your birthday then?” Emma’s dad distracts the astonished Y/N furthermore.

“Hmmm… I can settle for a kiss?” you unconsciously caress the short hair on the back of his head while he quickly pecks your cheek. “Um… if I wanted a jellyfish sting I could have went to the aquarium,” you sassily react and The Joker rolls his eyes. “I want a proper kiss, unless you have those reserved for Mara.”

“Why are we talking about my girlfriend?”

“On and off girlfriend,” you emphasize. “A huge indicator you don’t care that much about her. You need a woman that genuinely loves you; she’s a catalyst fueling your tendencies, you don’t need that! You don’t fight fire with fire, OK?” you almost shout and ironically enough he decides to engage in your speech.

“What do you fight it with then?”

“Dynamite!” you proudly state. “Blow up everything, wipe the slot clean and start fresh!”

“A-ah…A-ha…”, he mischievously agrees. “I assume you’re the dynamite in this scenario?” the silver grimace spreads across his face.

“Perhaps.”

“Why is Bane’s son here?” The Joker changes the subject. “He keeps lurking around and it annoys me.”

“Don’t be jealous,” you mislead him on purpose. “Sam was my boyfriend in high school,” you brief your so called partner. “I’m fond of him.”

“Why would I be jealous?!” The King’s mood switches and you realize yours is also: the sole detail he’s interested in is to emphasize zero attraction for his daughter’s friend.

“Yeah…why would you be jealous?...” you sadly smile and let go before the song ends. “Listen, I have to return to my guests, alright? You don’t have to stay; you should go back to your fire because you certainly don’t know what to do with dynamite,” the meaningful reply leaves him intrigued again: no cocky response to your clever twist in words since he already lost the passive-aggressive altercation.

************

9:49pm  

You gaze at the starry sky, cozy on the inflatable mattress; the mesh on top of the tent is so thin you can hardly tell it’s there. Very quiet in the garden… you should have went to the river with the others, yet you felt the urge to be alone and rest before you reprise your treatment tomorrow.

“Y/N, are you in here?” The Joker’s voice is heard.

“No!” you grouchily snarl.

He unzips the tent and squeezes inside, obeying to your protest:

“Close it! I don’t want bugs in here!”

“I’m hiding from Crane, he made me do a bunch of stuff in preparation for your Cromyxillium therapy!” J complains to indifferent ears.

“I thought you bailed hours ago,” you coldly articulate.

“I was held prisoner in the underground lab! You should be thankful for my services.”

“You don’t do anything for free and I’m sure you’re over exaggerating anyway!”

“Whatever!” The Joker drops on the mattress next to you, deeply exhaling. “I’m beat; I’ll rest for a bit before I drive.”

You rest your fingers on your tummy, struggling to remain calm.

“I missed hanging out with my cuddling buddy,” J nozzles in your shoulder and you give him an insolent glare.

“We’re not cuddling buddies!”

“That’s too bad; I precisely came to deliver your birthday present. I resent the notion of a man unjustly accused of being cheap.”

“What birthday present?” you furrow your eyebrows.

“The kiss you demanded Y/N!”

“I’m good,” you disregard his offer and he hovers over you, captivated.

“I thought you have the hots for me, I even wore these hoochie pants to please you. I mean, I endured your affection and harassment for the past three years. I’m here now with an invisible olive branch so I think you should reconsider your answer.”

“Did you just say hoochie pants?!” you snicker at his distorted apology although you’re mad at him. “You didn’t wear them for me; you wanted to show off your assets!”

“It’s not my fault I’m handsome!” The Joker defends his wardrobe choice.

“I seriously want to be alone,” you indirectly imply he should disappear. “I’m tired of playing games. I won’t flirt with you anymore, I promise. Deal?” you lift your pinky up and there’s something strange concealed behind your abrupt vow.

“Why not?”

“First of all, I won’t have the energy: my father warned of serious consequences during the treatment. Second, it might kill me: we don’t know how my physique will endure; I have terminal cancer, remember?”

“Are you scared?” J whispers and you nod a yes, upset. “Then you should accept your gift in case you won’t have another occasion,” his rationale pushes you to reconsider your alternatives.

You pull him closer and wait, explaining your hesitation.

“It’s my birthday, you should be the one kissing me.”

The Joker doesn’t defy your logic and complies, unable to suppress an arrogant grin when you moan:

“God, your lips are so soft; I could kiss them all day.”

“Don’t get into it, I have to vacate the premises soon. I don’t want Crane to catch me in your tent and presume the worst.”

“My dad will be in the lab until morning time; you can stay if you want to,” you trace his jaw line, momentarily forgetting your grudge.

“Didn’t you preach about wishing to be alone?”

“Why are you making out with another woman besides your girlfriend?” you evaluate the waters with a question.

It doesn’t seem he’ll bother to justify his behavior thus you utter:

“I can be alone…with you. I’m 23, literally a consenting adult,” the important information is added for the heck of it.

“Consenting to what?” The Joker mumbles as you softly bite his lower lip.

“I hate you,” you pout and snuggle to him while he grabs a pillow, irritated at his involuntary reaction. J stuffs it in between the bodies and you swiftly toss it away.

“Are you trying to get me in trouble Y/N?”  

“You’re always in trouble,” you begin unbuttoning his shirt. “Let’s go with the flow, shall we? No strings attached, no commitments. You know why?” you pause and continue. “I might not survive the Cromyxillium and I want to make love to the old guy I have a major crush on.”

“Old?!” The Clown prince of Crime scoffs.

“You’re basically twice my age,” you roughly estimate without proof and kiss him again. The Joker slides his hands under your t-shirt, opting to dismiss your affirmation with a different kind of truth.

“Do you recall when you asked me if I ever tasted death?”

“Yes…”, you bury your face in his neck, wondering if he’ll say something mean that will ruin the night.  

“You don’t taste like death,” J forces you to look at him. “You really don’t.”

“… … … … … … …  You think so?” the emotional Y/N sniffles, categorically surprised at the confession.

“Yeah. You actually taste like dynamite,” he winks and doesn’t mind the sudden meltdown: The Joker is not big at comforting people, but the girl in his arms feels relieved nevertheless.

She might not compare to the fire he’s used to, yet Y/N’s eagerness to blow up everything, wipe the slot clean and start fresh is unfamiliar territory that’s worth exploring.    

  Also read: MASTERLIST

[hopewritcs]

the prodigal sister

pairing: familial byers fam x reader, romantic paring tbd

word count: 2.1k 

summary: y/n is the middle sibling of the byers brothers. she’s just ten months younger than jonathan, making the pair “irish twins”. except when her father and mother got divorced, lonnie got custody of y/n and took her away from the rest of the family. 

notes: i was falling asleep last night and decided it would be fun to add a sister to the byers fam.  this will likely be a multi-chapter fic. let me know what you think and if there’s anything you’d like to see specifically in this fic series. :) thanks to everyone who reads/likes/reblogs my fics. y’all are great. 

other chapters: masterlist

stranger things tag list: @thekidsofneibolt, @madhatterweasley, @samisimportant,@inspiredbynewt (if you wanna be added to any tag list, let me know!!)

Y/N was waiting in the living room of the home she hadn’t been inside for years.  Not since she was ten years old.  But after coming home from her time at boarding school and finding out what her father had kept from her.  She was pacing in the living room, having used the hide a key (thankfully it was still kept in that same place under the windowsill.  When Y/N had came into the house, she didn’t see anyone.  Then again, it was the middle of the afternoon.  Maybe her siblings and mother were out doing whatever it was they did on weekends.  

Not like Y/N knew what they did.  Her father hadn’t let her be around.  The only contact she’d had with her family were long phone calls on holidays and letters exchanged.  Which had all but stopped about two years ago when her father’s new girlfriend and him had decided that it was time for her to “grow up” and go to a private all girls boarding school out in California. 

She could see a car pull up.  Was that her mother?  Y/N peered out the window.  Nope, it was a teenager.  And not her brother.  Definitely not her brother.  With a bunch of middle schoolers?  That was surprising.  She figured her mother would have her older brother drive them home.  Not some random (to her) teenager.  

When Y/N heard voices approaching she jumped and went to standing in the doorway to the kitchen.  She hadn’t known why she jumped and attempted to hide the way she did.  But Y/N leaned forward and listened to the voices she heard. 

“I think someone’s in your house.” 

“It’s not a demodog, right?”

“Dude, shut up. How would one of those things even open a door?”

“Fuck you, Lucas, I don’t know! It could happen.” 

“Both of you shitheads shut up. I swear I saw someone in there. So you stay back, I’ll see what’s going on in there.” 

The door opened slowly and the teen walked into the room.  His eyes immediately went to Y/N with a look of puzzlement.  “Who the hell are you?” he asked. 

“Who the hell are you?” she mimicked, crossing her arms and looking at him.  

“Y/N?!” she heard her younger brother’s voice from the doorway, and then she saw him walking into the house. 

“Y/N?” one of the other boys asked, peering into the house.  But her brother was walking toward her and that was all she focused on. 

“Are you really here?” he asked. “Why are you here?”

“Dad didn’t tell me about everything.  I was at boarding school, I had no idea. He didn’t phone me or try to get in touch.  If I’d known, I’d have been here in an instant. He said they thought you died.  That they had a funeral.  What happened?” Y/N said, wrapping her arms halfway through her speech as she hugged her kid brother.  She’d gone through so many emotions in the past twenty four hours.  “Shit, I mean, when I found out I grabbed my stuff and told dad not to look for me.  I had to see if you were okay.  And Jonathan.  And mom.  But mostly you.”  She pulled back and looked at her brother with a small smile.  “I missed you.” 

Finally, Will hugged her back after she finished speaking.  Tears were pricking Y/N’s eyes.  

“Will and Jonathan have a...sister?” Eleven asked, from behind the crowd of boys, her head popping up and looking toward the room.  The others shushed her, looking toward the siblings.  

“Dad really didn’t tell you?” Will asked quietly, still processing this.  He hadn’t been in front of Y/N in years.  He remembered what she looked like, but it felt like he was hugging a stranger too.  His father had kept her from them for years.  

“Do you think I’d have stayed away at that dumb boarding school if he’d told me?  Shit, Will, you’re my brother.  I’d have dropped everything if I knew.” Y/N’s voice was cracking with emotion.  Lonnie, her father, was always someone who resented his family.  He was a hothead and needed things to go his way.  Which is why when he’d gotten custody of Y/N he’d gone as far away as possible as he could and started over.  Not that things changed much for Y/N.  Her father was still trouble, in and out of it as well.  And she was still struggling to get it together.  

But she’d always missed her siblings.  Her mother, and their home.  She’d wished she could have stayed there.  

“I missed you too, Y/N.” Will commented, his grip on his sister getting tighter.  He was a little afraid, after all that had happened, that if he took a step back it wouldn’t be the same.  His sister might not actually be there.  But she was.  He could feel her arms around him.  The tears against her cheeks.  She was real.  Y/N was home.  

“What’s everyone doing standing in the doorway?” Joyce Byers’ voice echoed in the doorway.  Before she could walk in, the boys gathered the groceries from her hands, some of them going back to the car.  “Thank...you.”  Joyce let out a laugh as she looked at her youngest son’s friends with a confused look.  Worried, almost, way in the back of her mind.  “Why is everyone acting so strange?” 

“Mom.” Y/N pulled away from Will and stood back up to her full height.  The almost seventeen year old spoke up.  

“Y/N?” the woman questioned before running into the room and wrapping her arms around her daughter. “You’re home!” she smoothed the young girl’s hair out, pushing it away from her daughter’s face.  “You’re home?  What are you doing here?  Does your father know you’re here?” she asked, glancing down at her daughter, looking for the answers to the questions she was asking.  

“Sort of.” Y/N admitted, biting her lip as she glanced away from her mother’s eyes.  She could see the group of other children moving around the kitchen, trying to put the groceries away and attempt to give the family some space.  Except she could tell they were all listening in.  Some of them continued to throw glances their way.  

“What do you mean ‘sort of’, Y/N?” Joyce asked, giving her daughter a very motherly ‘tell me or face the consequences’ stare.  Except it was also, almost, an ‘i’m so glad you’re home i don’t care’ kind of stare too.  

“Well he told me how Will disappeared, or died.  How you thought he died.  There was a funeral?  And I just couldn’t stay with him.  Him and his girlfriend.  I needed to be home.  Can I come home, mom?  Please.” Y/N was practically pleading now.  

“Oh honey, of course you can stay.” Joyce hugged her daughter tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.  “I love you so much.” Joyce grabbed her son and pulled him into the hug too.  “I love both of you so much.” She was practically laughing with excitement.  She couldn’t believe soon, when Jonathan got home, all her babies would be home.  

“Not to break up a happy family moment, but can you tell me why dad...why everyone...thought Will was dead?” Y/N asked, partially muffled by her mother’s grasp on her.  She ruffled her brother’s hair and looked at him.  “Because from what I can tell he’s very much alive.” 

“Shadow monsters.”

“Demodogs.”

“Mad scientists.” 

“Super powers.”

“Upside down.” 

Came the chorus of answers from the surrounding people.  Y/N broke from the group hug and turned to everyone else.  

“What the hell?” She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms against her chest.  “Can someone explain, in full sentences.” 

“You might want to sit down, Y/N.” Will said, leading her to the kitchen table.  Soon everyone was around the table and explaining what had happened in Hawkins.  

Of course, Y/N could tell that these people were close with her brothers.  But she didn’t get anyone’s names (except the girls, Eleven--Jane, now, according to a correction from her mother--since she had powers, and Max who had moved here in the fall) until they finished the story.  Y/N would have had trouble believing everything, except she could tell how serious her mother was taking this.  Everyone was stoic and careful.  They told her how they’d even been forced to sign papers to keep quiet.  

Finally, everyone was introduced by Will after a long pause.  “These are my friends. Mike is Nancy’s brother.  Dustin, Lucas, and Steve.  And, of course, Max and El.” Will made sure his sister was paying attention as he pointed to everyone when he introduced them.  Y/N vaguely recognized the kids from pictures she’d been sent over the years from her brothers.  

“So are you and Jonathan twins?” Max asked.  It was pretty much the first time she’d addressed Y/N during the conversation other than a couple of interjections (apparently she wanted Y/N to be sure that she had “scared the piss” out of Dustin and Lucas at Halloween, which made Y/N laugh).  

“Sort of.  I’m a little over ten months younger than him.  So, my birthday’s pretty soon. I’m a February baby.  Jonathan is June.  Well, early June.  I’m mid-February.” Y/N explained, feeling the need to ramble as she’d just been listening to this whole big conversation and had no room to talk.  She glanced around at the group.  “I have a lot of...questions.  I can’t really think of them all right now.  But I definitely have questions.” 

“We’ll be here to answer them, Y/N.” Will assured his sister with a nod, turning to his friends and watching as they nodded their heads too.  

The front door was being unlocked and the whole group turned to watch as Jonathan walked in with Nancy under his arm.  “Hey, mom, Nancy’s gonna stay for dinner.  Is that--Y/N?”

“Jonny!” Y/N jumped up from the couch and ran over to her brother, giving him a big hug. 

“Y/N/N.” Jonathan exclaimed, hugging her back just as tightly. “What are you doing here?” he asked, pulling back from the hug and looking at his sister.  He hadn’t actually seen her, other than pictures, in about seven years.  “Dad’s not here too, right?”

“Nope.  Just your favorite sister.  Needed to catch up on some things.  Apparently a lot happens when you get shipped off to California for boarding school.”

“Boarding school?  In California?”  Jonathan asked, looking at her.  He knew she’d mentioned moving schools in one of their letters.  But California was not what he expected.  Neither was boarding school.  

“Dad’s girlfriend fronted the money for it.  Apparently she has some connections with the headmaster.  They just wanted me out of their hair.” Y/N shrugged.  “You didn’t tell me you were dating Nancy, though.” Y/N exclaimed, changing the subject with a quick nudge to her brother’s shoulder as she looked at her once best friend in elementary school.  “Hey Nancy!” Y/N exclaimed, moving to greet the girl with a hug.  

“Hey Y/N.” Nancy hugged her friend back.  She hadn’t expected to see Y/N Byers home.  After everything that had happened, she felt almost guilty for forgetting that the boys even had a sister.  It was kind of hard to forget when something wasn’t staring you right in the face.  

“So, they filled you in?” Jonathan asked, shoving his hands into his pockets as he awkwardly looked between his sister and the crowd still sitting around the couch.  

“About some whacked out science experiment, some devil dog creature, and everyone trying to kill you guys.  Yeah, I’ve been caught up.” Y/N explained, running a hand through her hair as she nodded toward her brother and then looking back at the group.  

In the lull, Joyce came in from the kitchen and announced it dinner would be soon.  And anyone who wanted to stay was welcome to stay.  

The whole party wound up staying, eating food on the back porch and learning more details about the Byers family and the sister they’d never met before.  

All the laughing was not going to be enough to handle what would be in store for them in the coming weeks, though.