#that this feeling doesn't last forever
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evermore — taylor swift ft bon iver
#taylor swift#bon iver#lyrics#taylorswiftedit#tswiftedit#evermore#posts#i am having a hard day today#so i had to make this edit to remind myself#that this feeling doesn't last forever
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Do you think if the trolls all came back, like everything in the main comic did happen and they were alive again. Do you think Feferi would actually forgive Eridan? Or want to even be his friend after everything? I don't personally like the erisol and fefertasprite interaction…felt rushed…..so I just wanted to know your opinion if things were different! :)
Yeah, I think they would be! Feferi is one of the trolls who takes dying the least badly (relentless optimism) and Eridan does genuinely feel bad, which means a lot when it's Eridan. I think she really is genuine when she says she wants them to be friends and also that she's really not the type of person to hold a grudge, and like... death is SUPER cheap in Homestuck, it's really not the horrific, irredeemable, irreperable damage that it is IRL - and if you're talking about (Feferi) and (Eridan), then they're both dead (and irrelevent) now, so the score is kind of even.
In general, the fandom - I mean, people in general, really - tend to have difficulty divorcing themselves from other people. We tend to assume that the people and characters they like will hold similar opinions to themselves. This is how people who like Karkat and don't like Eridan can mentally gloss over or even block out their clear, close friendship, or how people who dislike Cronus can end up overlooking that Meenah actually takes his opinion seriously and unironically defends his wizard thing. Feferi really isn't mad at Eridan or upset about dying the way we probably would be, because she's friends with the horrorterrors, relentlessly cheerful, comfortable with death in general, and death is also just not really that big of a deal in this setting. "I'm really sorry about that, that was shitty of me" is honestly probably all the apology she needs, especially if they came back to life anyway.
#i dunno in general the fandom loves to blow stuff up#and make it all way way angstier than it needs to be or was even shown to be#by all accounts feferi takes dying really well#im sure shes still not STOKED to be eridan's friend again but out of all her faults#holding long unreasonable grudges isnt really one of them#(that's a kanaya thing actually)#eridan's always gonna be an annoying pest to her in large doses but i think she basically thinks of him as a friend#also eridan responds to problems overwhelmingly with Fight#so this idea that eridan will be forever mopey and angsty also doesnt ring true to his character#if anything i can see him becoming annoying again because now he won't stop fucking apologizing#like bro chill its fine already oh my god why is everyt)(ing suc)( a PRODUCTION wit)( you#because thats the last point too like#homestuck always returns to humor#hussie even says in the book commentary that homestuck is lighthearted and comedic at its core#that it keeps returning to that as a touchstone#even during its tensest moments like murderstuck theres just constant funnies and gags#so i just end up going kinda :/ when an interpretation is purely maudlin or cathartic#like its more homestuck when its funny and characters treating murder with the same gravitas as irl#not only doesnt make sense in universe where death is cheap - ESPECIALLY for trolls#but also just doesn't really feel very homestuck to me#but that is 100% personal taste so if you like that stuff by all means keep enjoying it lol#you just arent going to get uber angst from me u_u
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i'm sure it's been said somewhere before but thinking very hard about "no man, however great, can know his destiny. like everyone he must live and learn, and so it must be for the young warlock.." like. the very first line of the entire series. explicitly said by kilgarrah to apply to merlin as well. and yet kilgarrah tried otherwise. he told merlin up front what his destiny was and tried to push him away from living through the bad things whenever possible.
and it feels like kilgarrah reflecting on everything after the fact because he thought he could change it!! he thought maybe by telling him the good stuff it could be happy this time. maybe merlin could become the greatest warlock and help arthur become a great leader and fulfil all of those prophecies and make all those great things happen but also he could kill mordred and destroy morgana and erase all his enemies and still be that great person.
except he couldn't, of course. and by telling him and trying to control the narrative kilgarrah sealed his fate; destiny doesn't allow for choices. it just doesn't work like that, and they all learned, and kilgarrah lived and learned and is left simply with that lesson: that no one can know their destiny.
#bbc merlin#kilgharrah#merlin#merlin meta#res rambles#my contribution to the influx of merlinposting i am having so many thoughts about how he was doomed from the start#because he wasn't supposed to know!! destiny cannot be fulfilled knowingly because it becomes choice#by trying you'll make it happen in the worst ways#and now i'm thinking about merlin left knowing that and wondering how much to believe in destiny anymore#because despite the lesson the promise of destiny was all kilgarrah had left to give him: arthur will return because it is destiny#except you're not supposed to know your destiny. what happens then?#last time knowing led to the loss of everything. is knowing this time the punishment?#being left with the hope that he'll be back and it feels like a taunt#like 'you wanted to know so bad? live for nothing but the knowing now#forever and ever and ever'#and he wakes up everyday and the promise mocks him. and it comforts him. and it tears him apart day after day after day for eternity#how much do you think merlin regrets knowing any part of his destiny. does he regret it at all?#he should. but it brought him arthur at least once so how could he regret that#he doesn't believe in destiny really. he believed in arthur and that was part of the undoing and now destiny is all he has#and destiny keeps mocking him from the corner
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Rank 55: Yuma Jets!!
#this scene will be forever in my mind and heart#this scene is everything to me#the way Astral comforts Yuma telling him that he will live a life full of emotions#that as long Yuma has hope in the future he will living forever#the way Astral hugs Yuma holding him close#the way Yuma leans against Astral#and the “I will always love you”#Astral was never meant to feel anything but he has met Yuma#and he has learned from him so many things including love#Astral loves Yuma#it doesn't matter if Astral will drift in the space forever it doesn't matter if he won't ever stop keeping guard E'Rah#Astral will love Yuma for all the eternity#and he knows that what he is going to do will break Yuma's heart#and he doesn't want Yuma lose his spirit because of that#he wants Yuma to live the bright future reserved for him#a future full of emotions (a future that Astral couldn't ever have and a future he won't ever see)#and Astral knows that Yuma will survive the pain and will build a wonderful future for himself#and that spirit that Astral has loved will become his last hope#that love will keep Astral alive#I can't stop thinking about them about this scene about this “I will always love you”#I love them so much#astral zexal#astral yugioh#yuma tsukumo#yugioh zexal#yu gi oh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal#zexal manga#zexal manga spoiler
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Guys, I'm going to be honest. Maybe I'm still in shock because it's been like 2 minutes since I finished the DFF finale but
lmao that was so cheesy (affectionately)!
Come to think of it, with 50% of us screaming for blood and 50% of us (aka me) crying because why can't we all just get along, this is actually the perfect way to end things: make all of it become true and untrue at the same time.
The ending is so absurd and over the top and so predictable in being unpredictable that I actually feel well entertained. Just pure chaos. I don't know how else they could have let it end in only 30 minutes - except to not let it end.
Also, did I detect some Silent Hill 2 soundtrack vibes in those piano tunes when New was hallucinating? Because I appreciated that.
On a more serious note, the nightmare revelations were truly messed up and I appreciate that too. Psychological horror my beloved.
I guess in the end it's not about revenge or forgiveness or remorse at all but more about guilt and grief and punishment (and I guess that too is a lot like Silent Hill 2). A group of boys bully their classmate and in the process destroy the lives of a whole family. New gets his revenge on them, and more innocents die, and on and on it goes because no one ever truly deals with their guilt (and/or grief). Even in their drug-induced psychosis/happy ending Phee and Jin (whose nightmare is it anyway?) only wish they could help Tee... and then they do nothing. The whole thing literally becomes this beginning-less, never-ending miasma - a monster bearing Non's face (and now I'm just stuck on my Silent Hill 2 parallels and I should probably stop and listen to some Akira Yamaoka to get it out of my system).
*but also that Jin potentially hallucinated two whole years of uni is probably the worst punishment of all.
#dff#dead friend forever#spoilers#dff spoilers#jane watches stuff#oh i can't wait to read everyone's reviews#i was super apprehensive about it last week#but now i'm actually super satisfied with it#not because i had any kind of catharsis#and i still feel sorry for everyone#but the whole thing ended on such an abstract note#that in a way it doesn't touch me emotionally at all#but not in a bad way#if i randomly break into tears tonight then i know what's up
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many things i have been keeping under wraps at work, such as pronouns, but also, very critically, age. bc i got that ageless mixed race asian swag where i am very clearly not an undergrad but also??? they just don't know. and it WHIPS and it is so funny to ME because all the managers and shift supervisors are like damn this girl in her mid-twenties is so easy to talk to, it's like talking to a peer. surprise bitch i'm older than you. and maybe this means i'm performing psychological experiments on cis men, but i am ngl if i hand you a two page resume that you don't read, it is simply none of MY business if you think i am in my mid-20s. they are going to be so mad when they find out lmao
#mild work crush i fear....his undefinable possibly autistic certainly overworked jock swag has captured the nation#i can't remember if he was the one who jumpscared the managers by just randomly showing up with a wife and baby one day#when they thought he was a confirmed bachelor#it might have been the other shift supervisor who hates talking to people#it def wasn't the business school supervisor bc that guy is tasing himself recreationally while getting an mba. idiot <3#i love my job it is so boring and so entertaining at the same time. it's like the perfect balance of annoying and enriching#i wrote an entire fic at work once. and was still able to do everything i needed to do. and heard an absolutely bananas story#from the housekeeper about suing the city#i love the housekeeper every 3rd word out of her mouth i'm like ma'am are we allowed to say that in 2025 😭#i wish i could work there forever but i cannot. and when i quit the fic and/or zine i write/make about is going to go CRAZYYYYY#i think i text like 5-8 different people at least once a week about stupid shit i witnessed at work and the hot guys also#cannot forget the hot guys. so many hot guys. and they are all so stupid and annoying and sometimes charming also#i wish i could wear shorts to work bc my ass looks great rn from strength training#unfortunately my uniform is athleisure wear that doesn't fit and a free flyers sweatshirt that also doesn't fit lmao#when i learn to dress myself. it's over for you hoes#was talking to my strength trainer this week bc they asked if they could use me as a case study for trauma informed something#i kind of wasn't listening bc i just started talking immediately about the emotional effects of not having severe chronic back pain#and now being stronger has made me at its very base just more confident and kind to myself (inasmuch as i'll ever be)#bc i know my body better and i'm not scared of it and i can predict how it moves and i can trust it in ways i could not before#just from not knowing it? like even beyond the chronic pain i just did not know how my body moved and what it was capable of#& how one thing that is so silly but so nice is the feeling of being attractive as MYSELF for the first time in my life and not just#a vehicle for everyone to project whatever weird mpdg stuff on. and it's NICE and it's FUN that i know how my body moves as itself!!#like idk is finding confidence in my body the poetry. the strength training. the being in my 30s. the being too tired to care anymore#WHO KNOWS. none of my business#in conclusion. i would love to say i haven't been having a five stage mental breakdown all week but i have but i think it finally resolved#and now i have a new bed courtesy of sierra and kelly!!!!#and after i find out how much i owe in 1st/last month's rent? it's cricut time#ok good night#fresno oilers.txt
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i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?
i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever
more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there
#mio answers things#anon#i'm getting a little better with making things for my ocs#on account of having friends i can actively share my brain rot with#but i still dread the feeling of posting a character and being forever haunted about never doing anything with them ever again#(echoes of custard howling in my mind)#just like how i dread having a repeat of that time in middle school#where i talked about my werecrow oc in the comments of a bigger artist's works#and they ended up making their own werecrow oc immediately after#they very much directly aligned with mine#but it got wildly popular on their account and they made a ton of art for it and i just#ended up deleting any evidence of mine because i felt so bad about it skjdfhgkldhfkgj#like i have no problem with people taking inspiration from my designs#i think it's fun seeing people design vy2s with two toned hair and kyos with pink eyes and hair pins w#but like. the thought of posting my oc and having someone run them through a blender to make their own character makes me feel. bad.#i can't articulate the specific reason Why it makes me feel bad but it does skjfghdkjfgsdhkjf#like if i finally posted theater gang stuff and then saw someone else take those concepts and make them into their own characters#i might just collapse into a pile of beef trimmings and never get up sdfkjhglksjdfg#it's silly and i don't know why my brain's like this but because of this in combination with my fear of posted oc things haunting me foreve#i simply will not be posting <3333#(and also just that. i'm incapable of producing enough artwork to make my ocs matter in a public context i think.)#(like you breed affection for a character through familiarity)#(which you only really get by creating A Lot Of Art)#(and i cannot do that <333)#(so instead most times i post it's a few handfuls of likes)#(and that doesn't really feel worth it to my brain when i could just settle for going insane over them with my friends skjdfhgkjsdf)#i really think this last year has just taught me that i really. honestly truly prioritize the reactions and feelings of my friends#over strangers on the internet#and it feels a lot more comfortable that way w#AH
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seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing
#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident#I straight up forgot#and just didn't show up to the session#my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked#I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up#my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january#I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted#like mentally and spiritually#all the time#my memory and sense of time are both shit#my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason??#I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me#I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir#and yet#idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason#fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly#due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me#aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory#it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever#like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype#but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here#doing whatever this is#maybe I should drive out to the coast#maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long#I mean it can't make me worse#I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark#everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone
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ughhh okay department party w faculty these are always so scawwwwyyyyyyyyy to walk into and then I do my Stay For 30 Minutes Rule and it's literally fine and fun each time once I adjust. But first the Discomfort
#so cool how anxiety is just a thing u hit with sticks every day forever#This time last year this same party made me so anxious I wanted 2 explode and now I've just got a little nebulous Agh feeling#so overall win. but somebody should invent a getting over anxiety that doesn't involve Work and Discomfort
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Promises promises (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#The kisses yearning......it has returned.........#They're just so cute I can't help it hweh#Kisses on the cheek are harder to refute than on the mouth haha - just for a second! Just to be close! Just to show how much ♥#He wanted to fight about it but it's not like there's anything he can say that he Also doesn't want#Forever <3 Promise#And then they can't fulfill that promise wehh#More kisses ♪ Ostensibly for practice because I can always use the practice - I just like them together!!#I love when Max is just plastered against him and Dex holds him so carefully haha - he /is/ stronger than Max but still#Max sticks to him so much#Dresses! Probably drag/cross dressing but mm?#On top of ZEX wearing a dress that one time(?) presumably because gendered human fashion doesn't cross the translation barrier#I've been thinking about the Helix duo as ladies off and on too hmm#I keep going back and forth on Ladyverse!Helix like - with the Vargases it's easy? How their designs are different and The Implications™#So much to think about - and it's not like L!Helix lacks that by any means! But everyone's already so pretty so there's that lol#Max is androgynous and Dexter is beautiful like they'd just look like themselves lol#Presumably there'd be Some physical differences but I really wonder by how much! And how they'd be expected to act or grow into#For now it's just appreciating the pretties <3 Because they are they're so pretty! However they are they're beautiful <3#Dex's dress is fun hehe ♪ He Could wear it covering his leg but a brief pose that lets it peek out isn't so bad hehehe#Max is very much giving Junior Prom haha <3 He's too cute#Honestly I just really really needed to see him in that front/collar/spaghetti straps style it's so cute and I feel like it suits him#I'm not sure what it is exactly but the fabric falling forward on his chest is just - correct?? It Feels Correct#And last one of an idea I haven't been able to shake since starting on plush Max as a project haha#I Want to give him a whole closet of clothes but I also don't want him to be naked for long! And what's the easiest type of clothing to make#Imagining him in a pretty white or light yellow sundress.......swishing and twirling and being cute and happy........ahhh...........#He deserves to feel the prettiest and sparkliest and specialest because he is ♥
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🥳🥳🥳NEW VIBRATOR PURCHASED🥳🥳🥳
#☁️🌕☁️.txt#thank god. thank god omfg...#tysm to the beautiful kind woman working the counter who in detail explained every option to me and let me feel the vibrations 🫶#i hope both sides of her pillow are cool always and that she has mindblowing sex with her husband forever#now here's to hoping my mom never questions why I'm suddenly missing $60 in cash... it'll be fine :)#hopefully this one doesn't freaking BREAK smh... apparently there's a 5 yr warranty though so it'll last at least 5 yrs probably#it did cost like... $20 more than my last one so i have pretty high hopes 😭 donquixote let me down baddd#like omg i was so nervous and i'm still kind of shaking from residual scariness but she was sooo nice and made me feel so comfortable#like... wishing only the best for her omg genuinely a hero#she did kind of get on my ass for washing my last one with soap though. whoops sorry queen 😔 i will unfortunately be continuing to do that#i trust softsoap. i think i will be ok 😌
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Happy Birthday Mattsun! I love his stupid rice loving fish monger face!
#Ride Kamens#Matsunosuke Agata#ライドカメンズ#阿形松之助#Ride Kamens OC#仮面ライダー阿形#Kamen Rider Ruby#Insanity Draws#Insanity of Mojiru#So funny story due to some tech issues Ride Kamens crashed on me and then unlinked my account#And I can't get that account back anymore so that means I don't have any of my event Agatas anymore#Which means this was the last thing I was able to draw before I was unable to play the game again#I don't feel like restarting the game either at this point so I'm not playing anymore#BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T LIKE THE GAME#I just cannot start over knowing my event Rui and Agatas are gone forever#Brendan over here doing his best to just feed me information about the new event
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Authentic Story of the Shining Force - Saint Fencer Max - Chapter 4
Translation notes:
This is the last boob joke. We're free at last.
Here's the retranslation of every scene with the Spring of Recollection in the game. Overall, her speech here is fairly close to what she says in Waral in-game, with a few details from her final appearance sprinkled in, like her care for Cain. It does misses a few nuances though, like the Legacy being more than just Dark Dragon.
I don't think I've ever seen art of the Spring, but notably, she gets a portrait in the GBA version, and it looks a lot like the manga design, with the slightly wavy hair and especially the blank eyes.
Obviously, the manga rushes through the plot since it's short, thus a lot of places are skipped. I didn't even feel like pointing them out before. However I will point out Waral not being here this time, because Waral happens to not be in the beta map either, and it has very contradicting lore between the ASCII guide and the World Book, meaning it might have not been well developed. Besides, Chapter 5 is very weirdly structured. You get two ship battles that are basically the same, you get to Waral by accident, you advance the plot by going to Ring Reef for no reason and everyone telling you it's off-limits while letting you waltz in anyway, and hardly anything happens in the shrine besides you hearing about the Manual, which is not even a big deal because you get to Rudo by accident later (two ship accidents!! why repeat this plot point!!) and would go to Dragonia anyway to help Bleu. Basically, I obviously can't prove it, but it wouldn't surprise me if the ocean shrine was initially thought off as only a plot scene, and the battles/town added much later for gameplay reasons.
Perhaps worth mentioning, the GBA version also makes a point to mention that Max got lost in the shrine alone, and everyone was worried about him, which does remind me a lot of the ship scene here.
uh oh. i hit image limit for the first time and i don't wanna remove either of these pics. more notes on a reblog later.
#shining series#shining force#saint fencer max#saint fencer max translation#sfm max#sf cain#so. gamers. fans. friends and followers. are we good? are we normal? are we normal about the last pages? i'm not#unfortunately my typesetting does not do it justice but at least i put up a fight#those unending creaking noises mess me up so good#it's just. so good. all of this#why did the gba version wasted time with boring villain epilogues#when it could be giving me the Good Stuff (angst of a long haired anime man)#also is his hair dyed? the eyebrows kinda imply that. i'm not sure i like that but i'm not sure i dislike that either#his hair is so good tho#anyway i could talk about him forever and i will but i gotta talk about the spring too#i really like the sword of light being here. it works aesthetically at least. the mishaela plot is very dumb#i had a whole thing about the sword of light typed but i took it out for later cause it doesn't have much to do with the manga#will probably come though! the three max cain plots are the same basically but there have some difference in the details#that has mashed together in my brain#so i wanna pick that apart at some point#anyway back to the mango. i dearly miss the nuance about the legacy even though it took me a while to notice it in the game#between this and the pseudo-magic introduction the manga does suck a bit at portraying the ancients#but i like how despite the weird pacing of the manga this part kinda flows better#with the spring's revelations all here in the middle#instead of popping in manarina like 'yeah boy you're hero of fate wait three chapter until we elaborate on that though'#naturally the game has good battle content to keep you happy through it#but the manarina scene feels kinda useless to me#anyway i probably had more to say about this while translating but i'm very sleepy#i will never shut up about this chapter though. mark my words
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job interviews are so fucking evil i'm so stressed for literally no reason
#like it doesn't even matter if i don't get this job#it's not the end of the world#but i need everyone to like me forever and i hateeeee this feeling#like i'm under a gddamn microscope#AND i didn't get any sleep last night bc i was stressed about the interview!#which has made me in turn. more stressed about the interview!!#@ my body how is it evolutionarily useful to make me so so so scared about everything all the time#RAAAAAAAGHGHHH#whatever. whatever#delia.txt#delete later probably
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fellas... I don't think the hyperfixation is hyperfixating anymore...
#wailing#sobbing#throwing up as I grieve another media i consumed up to its last thread#i tuck it in its glass coffin softly alongside all the others and i whisper “i will know you forever”#forever ingrained in the fabric of my soul like the laugh of my childhood friends and the scent of my mother#i still see all the art and works i once loved in little pieces of my life#that quote about things you love having claw marks on it#i'm still working on the tsh pirate au but it's different now#it doesn't quite feel like tsh at all#and I know it will slowly morph into something of its own haunted by the phantom of what once inspired it#oh well#let us rest#we have seas to sail my friends#and so many books to read still
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hrrnng uncomfortable realization that I don't want to go to a social thing I've been going to for awhile because I don't like it anymore (not that many people anymore, I'm trash garbage at holding a conversation)
#personal#good things don't always last forever <- gritting my teeth thinking about changing formulas and dissolving stable fixtures in everyday life#fr though rolling a crit fail irl in a social situation is so so painful#and like it probably doesn't feel great for them but also I'm doing my best
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