#i might just collapse into a pile of beef trimmings and never get up sdfkjhglksjdfg | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

miodiodavinci · 5 months ago

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i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?

i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever

more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there

#mio answers things #anon #i'm getting a little better with making things for my ocs #on account of having friends i can actively share my brain rot with #but i still dread the feeling of posting a character and being forever haunted about never doing anything with them ever again #(echoes of custard howling in my mind)#just like how i dread having a repeat of that time in middle school #where i talked about my werecrow oc in the comments of a bigger artist's works #and they ended up making their own werecrow oc immediately after #they very much directly aligned with mine #but it got wildly popular on their account and they made a ton of art for it and i just #ended up deleting any evidence of mine because i felt so bad about it skjdfhgkldhfkgj #like i have no problem with people taking inspiration from my designs #i think it's fun seeing people design vy2s with two toned hair and kyos with pink eyes and hair pins w #but like. the thought of posting my oc and having someone run them through a blender to make their own character makes me feel. bad.#i can't articulate the specific reason Why it makes me feel bad but it does skjfghdkjfgsdhkjf #like if i finally posted theater gang stuff and then saw someone else take those concepts and make them into their own characters #i might just collapse into a pile of beef trimmings and never get up sdfkjhglksjdfg #it's silly and i don't know why my brain's like this but because of this in combination with my fear of posted oc things haunting me foreve #i simply will not be posting <3333 #(and also just that. i'm incapable of producing enough artwork to make my ocs matter in a public context i think.)#(like you breed affection for a character through familiarity)#(which you only really get by creating A Lot Of Art)#(and i cannot do that <333)#(so instead most times i post it's a few handfuls of likes)#(and that doesn't really feel worth it to my brain when i could just settle for going insane over them with my friends skjdfhgkjsdf)#i really think this last year has just taught me that i really. honestly truly prioritize the reactions and feelings of my friends #over strangers on the internet #and it feels a lot more comfortable that way w #AH

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