#text shitpost

[rwac96]

Savage Pyrrha AU: No Lube, No Protection (RWBY Shitpost)

Weiss: "Neptune seems...rather try hard, as Yang puts it, but seems nice and sweet."

Pyrrha: "Well, there's Jaune--."

Weiss: *blinks, raising her brows* "Um, okay? I mean, the classless yokel? Out of all the boys in our year?! Such low standards!"

Pyrrha: *scowls, but takes a deep breath* "I want to fuck him. No lube, no protection--."

Weiss: *blinks* "I beg your pardon, Pyrrha--?"

Pyrrha: *smiling, aroused* "--dicking me down all night, all day--."

Weiss: *disturbed* "P-Pyrrha...?!"

Pyrrha: *grabbing Weiss' shoulder* "--from fucking me on the dorm floor to the toilet seat--"

Weiss: *disgusted* "That's unsanitary!!"

Pyrrha: "--from fucking on the dining table, to fucking in the church--"

Weiss: *eyes widened* "In the God of Light's house?!"

Pyrrha: "--while I gasp for air, screaming the God of Light's prayer as he unloads his thick cum inside of my womanhood."

*As Weiss looked horrified and disgusted at Pyrrha, Jaune approached the duo from behind*

Jaune: "Pyrrha, are you doing that thing you did to Yang before?"

Pyrrha: *turns to Jaune* "What? I just described our sex life, Beloved."

Weiss: *alarmed* "WHAT!?"

Jaune: *blushes* "PYRRHA!!"

[your-own-scifi-nerd]

Star Trek TOS + Texts!

[in-love-with-you-leyla]

The H in my name stands for humesha kuch chatpata khana hai 👅

[minwabus]

What do you mean text shitposts don't count as doing character studies?

[neatalchemist]

i offer you shitposts again but this time guess who're my favorite (super hard)

[player-1]

Oh boy, I sure can't wait for Intervallo 7.5, where the bus goes on yet another wacky roadtrip while the gang goes to Hong Lu's home district and learn about his extremely complex family dynamic and the many many references to the original novel, it's multiple remakes, and/or the series adaptation.

The next Walpurgis is most likely the Safety Team with Netzach as the next Announcer; and the next LobCorp IDs might connect to Abnormalities of denial, blissful ignorance, or the constricting force of family (Queen of Hatred, Queen Bee, Void Dream).

Even if the Sinners adjust to the fact that one of their members is a Second Kindred Bloodfiend, everyone keeps eyeing Outis just in case she tries to kill Don mentally or physically. She's still salty about the "betrayal" of having a definite threat in their ranks and were possibly waiting to backstab them at any moment (...Did something happen with Eurylochus, Outis?).

And even if she's also adjusting to a modernish life without the fanatic belief in Fixers, Don Sancho Quixote the Second reads them the riot act on their multiple attempts to prove she's a "real vampire" and committing elder abuse: shining light in her eyes or putting her in direct sunlight, putting garlic in her food, Dead Butterfly's coffin and Hundred Sins cross mace in her face cause Christian symbol or possible vamp bed, chasing her with a water bottle or spray bottle, so much water, so much water...

[meep-had-a-beep]

I must be the cuntiest, queerest person here at the thrift store because otherwise what's the point??

[sunheart101]

The Toledo War except it’s just Ohio and Michigan in divorce court arguing about who gets custody of their child

[the-future-is-chrome]

pinterest ads be like: ok so do you want an anti-abortion childrens book with an ai generated cover or a strapon in the shape of a krusty krab employee hat

[eggsecutivedysfunction]

enough dry humor. what about wet humor.

[dust-corner]

Realized I had these BATIM shitpost text images laying around in 2018 that I forgot to post anywhere. I dunno if culturally the site has moved on from this genre of post, but may as well open the vault.

[rwac96]

New Year Surprise (Shitpost)

Jaune: *groans lowly* "Ugh! The New Year already?"

*Jaune Arc sits up in the bed, rubbing his eyes...then feels a hand touching his lower back*

Neo: *pats his back, a sign of 'Go back to bed, hun'*

Jaune: *turns to the former Henchwench* "Neo!?"

Neo: *giggles, blows Jaune a kiss*

Jaune: *scoots to the edge of the bed* "Ugh, what happened last night--?"

Bleiss: *pokes his chest* "You rocked our world, Darling~."

Jaune: *blushes* "B-Bleiss!" *moves his head down as he feels someone crawling on top of him*

Pyrrha: *on top of Jaune* "Happy New Year, Beloved~."

[your-own-scifi-nerd]

Classic Doctor Who + Texts

Part 3

[in-love-with-you-leyla]

"Good girl"

Ok i'mma just-

[r0semaryrambl3s]

Text shitposts but it’s yet again Nh’ara and Dave

Reblogs are appreciated :D

[viktheviking1]

For those who want to know where I live

I live Weast of the ocean and Snorth of the boarder.