#talking about myself lol

[delicategravesoul]

trusting someone enough to be vulnerable with them but then they invalidate you when you share your feelings with them-

[springtimebat]

tagged!

I got tagged in something by @blindrapture! Thank you >w<

last song: Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe. I am not up-to-date on the band at all, but it is really sweet, calming song that is also kind of melancholy and almost...nostalgic to me? It makes me nostalgic for times that never happened :)

favorite color: I really like autumn colours! deep reds and burnt oranges! I really miss Halloween...

currently watching: I recently watched through As Told by Ginger, a nickelodeon cartoon from the 2000s. I had watched it on and off in reruns but the ending for the show never aired and I only really watched it in order this year. The show was cool in that characters changed outfits and grew throughout the three seasons. The main characters started in middle school and ended the show in their first year of high school. I didn't realise how into the show I was until I got to the final minutes and saw all the characters in the future, and it overall was really nice and satisfying to watch until the end.

last movie/show: The Golden Compass movie, funnily enough! I know it's a terrible adaptation but it got me into the His Dark Materials series, so I am very biased towards it and its awkwardness. I found it in a charity shop and had to rewatch for the first time since the new series came out. I actually prefer some of the characterisation from the movie (Mrs Coulter especially) but I'm angry the original ending to the Northern Lights was completely scrapped!

sweet/savory/spicy: Sweet! I've eaten a lot of chocolate over the holidays XD I do love savory and spicy foods too though!

relationship status: I have a boyfriend!!!! he's sweet and amazing and I'm seeing him next week!!! Yay!!!

last thing you googled: Aline Kominsky-Crumb of all people! I'm thinking of researching underground comix for a class assignment and wanted to focus on women within the counterculture. Her comix are confessional in nature and I kind of love how gross she is XD

current obsessions/s: Currently really obsessed with outsider art and subcultures. I've been reading a lot about Henry Darger and find him so fascinating! I've also been reading about the politics surround underground comix and I'm particularly interested in the sort of proto incel-vibes a lot of the artists contributing display.

tagging: hi @it-doesnt-add-up! anyone else reading this, feel free to do this if you want to! :)

[forthevibe-w]

are you actually a sub or are you disabled and had your symptoms ignored and belittled throughout childhood and now you just want to have your support needs met

[javsarts]

Good End~

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Totally unrelated-ish but fic below cut if u want lol :D

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55994872/chapters/142207756

[maxipad33]

catboy max verstappen because uhhhhhhhhh yeah!! anyways enjoy

[adhdandcomics]

whoever needs to hear this: if you got a disability, if you don’t know if you have something, if you ever think “it’s not that bad” if you have a thing about guilt, if you’re ill, Anything: listen. it is okay to throw things away.

you can throw it away. if it sucks and it stresses you the fuck out, if you just “need the right time to fix it” for the past 3 months. or years. if you loved it once upon a time but it makes you feel kinda weird and guilty now. if it’s a jacket youve reaaaally been meaning to mend and then donate. a jar of sauce that “all you have to do” is clean out to recycle but it’s been a week and now there’s a small colony growing in it. slowly shredding to bits fabric scraps you plan to use to fix something. busted picture frame. cracked mug. old shoes. extra box. an entire pack of granola bars that you hate so much but don’t want to waste.

life is already so goddamn difficult for us. i know you still care about recycling and the environment and sustainability. but it’s okay, i promise. sometimes you have to take care of your space. sometimes you have to cut your losses so you can actually have energy to recycle the next thing. get rid of the old shirt before it turns into a tornado pile of guilt under the bed. you’re not a bad person. you can throw this one away.

[rosefires20]

My brainrot today is thinking about just how incredible for a character Eowyn is.

Genuinely. The series might not have many female characters but the ones we do get go so fucking hard.

To me, Eowyn is literally the definition of defining being a woman for oneself. She rejects the roles she is given despite acknlowdging the importance and its mostly because she knows part of the reason is that she is a woman.

The reason why she is obsessed with Aragorn isn't because she loves him but because she wants what he has. She wants the freedom and courage and bravery that Aragorn has at every turn. She literally has multiple conversations during the Two Towers about how what she fears most is a cage. All this girl wants is the freedom to be and not be forced into a role. The best thing is that she literally gets that.

The segment of Return of the King about Eowyn and Faramir is literally about her piecing together what she truly wants. She doesn't want Aragorn. She wants freedom and the ability to choose. Faramir does nothing but encourage that in her. Their love story is literally one of the healthiest love stories I've seen in a long time because at the heart of it, their love is a place to return home to for both parties. Both go off to lead and help their people for a considerable amount of time before returning to each other but that does not diminish their bond. Even Faramir, I believe, falls in love with her bravery and dedication to her loved ones. The reason she went to Pelenor Fields and Gondor with the troops of Rohan was because she had things she wanted to fight for. She wanted to fight for herself, her people, and her loved ones. She is the one who protects Theoden after he is killed so that his body gets the treatment it deserves. She encourages Merry and helps him go to the battle because she sees her struggle in Merry. They feel helpless standing around when there are things to be doing.

Let's also not forget the fact that she was around Grima Wormtounge just as much as the King was. She was exposed to the same poison and awful words that eroded the king. It's even implied that her care for him is part of the reason why Theoden was savable when Gandalf showed up. She had the same power and bravery as everyone else even if she didn't see it in herself.

Then at the end of the day, SHE decides where she wants to go and what path she wants to walk. She walked the path of a warrior. The path of a princess/ruler. The path of a caretaker. But in the end she decides which elements truly mean something to her outside of gender definitions. That is what makes her character so incredible to me. In this she literally kills one of the biggest enemies in that battle with such a badass line.

[allysketches]

✨first time trying to draw camp pioneers and soho's resident queer cryptids bc I've been obsessed with them lately 😌✨

based on that classic photoshoot of david tennant and michael sheen from season 1! probably done before (and better!!) but I wanted to figure out how to draw their faces and outfits (ngl harder than I thought, still not perfect 🫠)

[idanit]

solidarity

[invinciblerodent]

This is going to be very ranty and disjointed, probably borderline incomprehensible post, but with the "return" of Dragon Age Discourse (and really, did it ever go anywhere?) and me repeatedly seeing the complaints and dismissals of DA:I as a "chosen one"-type of a narrative, I just.... I keep finding myself thinking about the relationship of truth and lies within the game.

Throughout the course of DA:I, the idea of a malleable, flexible personal identity, and a painful confrontation with an uncomfortable truth replacing a soothing falsehood, follows pretty much every character throughout their respective arcs.

There are some more obvious ones, Solas, Blackwall, The Iron Bull, their identities and deceptions (of both those around them and themselves) are clearly front and center in the stories told about them, but this theme of deception (both of the self- and the outside world) is clearly present in the stories of the others as well.

Like, for example, ones that come immediately to mind are stories like that of Cullen, who presents an image of a composed and disciplined military man, a commander- all to hide the desperate and traumatized addict that he sees himself as.

Dorian grappled with the expectations of presenting the image of the perfect heir to his father's legacy, the prideful scion of his house, his entire life (he even introduces himself as the result of "careful breeding", like one might speak about a prized horse)- all while knowing that his family would rather see him lobotomized and obedient, than anything even just resembling his vibrant and passionate self.

Cassandra calls herself a Seeker of Truth, and takes pride in that identity- only to learn that in reality, she has been made a liar, a keeper of secrets, without her knowledge or consent, and it is up to her to either uproot the entire organization and painfully cut out the abscess it is to build it back from the ground up into something respectable, or let the information she had revealed sit, and continue to fester.

And this theme continues and reframes itself in, among others, things like Sera's own inner conflict between her elven heritage and her human upbringing, or in Cole being caught in this unconscionable space in-between human and spirit, between person and concept, etc.

The Inquisitor isn't exempt from this either.

I feel like this is where the core of the many misunderstandings of this plot come from, why so many people continue to believe that Inquisition is a "chosen one" or "divinely appointed" type of story, because I think many might just... not realize, that the protagonist's identity is also malleable, and what they are told in the setup/first act of the game is not necessarily the truth.

The tale of the Inquisitor is the exact opposite of that of a "chosen one" story: it's an examination and reflection of the trope, in that it is the story of an assumption that all wrongly believe to be the truth, and thrust upon you, even if you protest. The very point is that no matter who you choose to say that you are, you will be known as the Herald of a prophet you don't even necessarily believe in, and then that belief will be proven wrong, leaving you to cope with either a devastating disappointment if you believed it, or a bitter kind of vindication if you didn't.

There's a moment just after Here Lies the Abyss (when you learn of the lie you've been fed your entire journey in the game) that I don't often see mentioned, but I think it's one of the most emotionally impactful character moments, if you are playing an Andrastian Inquisitor who had actually believed themselves chosen (which I realize is a rather unpopular pick, lol): it's when Ser Ruth, a Grey Warden, realizes what she had done and is horrified by her own deeds, and turns herself in asking to be tried for the murder of another of her order. As far as she is concerned, she had spilled blood for power, and regardless of whether she was acting of her own volition at the time, whether she had agency in the moment, is irrelevant to her: she seeks no absolution, but willingly submits to any punishment you see fit.

And only if you play as an Inquisitor who, through prior dialogue choices, had established themselves as a devout Andrastian, can you offer her forgiveness, for a deed that was objectively not her fault- not really.

You can, in Andraste's name, forgive her- even though you, at that point, know that you have no real right to do so. That you're not Andraste's Herald, that Andraste may or may not even exist, and that you can't grant anyone "divine forgiveness", because you, yourself, don't have a drop of divinity within you. You know that you were no more than an unlucky idiot who stumbled their way into meddling with forces beyond their ken.

You know you're a fraud. You know. The game forces you to realize, as it slowly drip-drip-drips the memories knocked loose by the blast back into your head, that what all have been telling you that you are up to this point, is false. And yet, you can still choose to keep up the lie, and tell this woman who stands in front of you with blood on her hands and tears in her eyes, that you, with authority you don't have, grant her forgiveness for a crime that wasn't hers to commit.

Because it's the right thing to do. Because to lie to Ser Ruth is far kinder than anything else you could possibly do to her, short of refusing to make a decision altogether.

There are any number of criticisms of this game that I can accept (I may or may not agree depending on what it is, but I'm from the school of thought that any interpretation can be equally valid as long as there's text that supports it, and no text that contradicts it), but I will always continue to uphold that the Inquisitor is absolutely not- and never was a "chosen one".

They're just as small, and sad, and lost, as all the other protagonists- the only difference is that they didn't need to fight for their mantle, because instead of a symbol of honor, it acted as a straitjacket.

[aliettali]

out of your friends which are you?! (skilltobers 13, 15, 16, 17, 18)

[romidoes]

[…] that can be touched. a love that i can write about gracefully if and when it ends.

[cowboymeemaw]

Please tell the story of the calf scramble 👀👀 (and may you have a lovely day!)

Of course, and you too! (Apologies for the late answer I was working)

So this is Rugz! He was my calf scramble steer!

But that's the end- to start I'll explain loosely what a calf scramble is (loosely as some rules and prizes change per rodeo/fair)

A calf scramble is an event where those who are of age and showmen can compete. As example from my own there are six competitors (numbers can and will change depending on the year, and they are allowed to compete year after year until they win). Each competitor is equipped with a helmet & halter.

As with the competitors, the amount of calves different ever year. It's dependent on the amount of people, for me it was Three calves. Each calf was born January of the same year and this even takes place in early august, which places them in a weight range of 400-500lbs (so not tiny guys).

So what do you do? Well, you're placed in an arena (mine roughly the 3/4ths the size of an American football field). You and the other participants are lined up at one end and there is a small circle in the middle. When the even starts the calves are released at the other side of the area.

When a bell is rang, all participants run at the calves. The goal of this event is to catch one of these calves, get your halter on it, and then get all four of their feet in the middle circle.

As an explanation this sounds easy, but in reality it's not. The arena floor is wetted down to mud, and all the calves released are untouched by humans, large, and dangerous. You must grab them by the neck, as you and the calf are running through mud, then halter it, then get it in the circle.

And finally, if you do successfully do all of that. You win! Now unlike most places, at my rodeo, when you win you actually win the steer itself! The calf is given to you a week after the event, and you are required to raise it for a year then bring it to show at the same place you won it from!

In 2022 I ended up winning the Calf scramble during my first attempt at it. As pictured above I won a beautiful Charolais cross steer (who actually was quoted to be worth 5k)

I had fought tooth and nail to win. Every year from child to then I had watched the event, year after year waiting to compete. My sister competed and unfortunately lost. But my mother, my grandfather, and his father are all deeply rooted in this fair and rodeo, and I knew I had to win for them, and for myself.

I was the first one to get my hands on a calf, and It was nothing like I could have expected. It was harsh and difficult but I held on, but that beautiful shit head of a Charolais had other plans. As I attempted to get my halter on, he bolted. Running me into another competitor and flinging me off of him. I was exhausted, ready to give up, I told myself there was always next year. But I was angry, angry at myself and embarrassed for being knocked off. So I got up and ran, I chased that calf with my entire being. And in one final attempt, I dove at him.

And that's how I got this photo.

I had caught him, again. I wasn't going to wait, and as soon as I was on my feet again I put the halter on him. Then I was knocked down again, someone else who caught one ran into me. I refused to let go, I laid there, head one inch away from being kicked by a feral calf. But I clung on until I could stand.

I stood up, exhausted and I pulled that halter. Painstakingly slowly me and this calf moved, inches closer to the circle. When I got about three feet away he put his breaks on, nothing I did worked. He wouldn't move, and I was tired. So tired and worn out, the adrenaline wearing off and the pain in my body finally striking through. I almost gave up.

I remember thinking, "would they be mad at me if I gave up now?". And then he took a step back, and the my brain finally slowed down to remember one important thing my step-dad told me. My step-dad who never touched a cow in his life before meeting me.

"if you catch one, go where it goes, you can't put strength a cow."

So I did. I walked back with him, and then turned him around and he stook all four steps into that circle.

I had won.

[panstrange]

kutner to me is 100% the type of person that gives people rocks as presents. thirteen always clearly appreciated them, taub probably just looked confused and put them in his briefcase or locker just because. you know. it’s a gift it’s not like he could throw them out in front of him. anyway then kutner dies and one day while cleaning he finds all those tiny rocks he gave him and starts crying

[goldensunset]

i looooove pokémon npcs whose team members subtly imply something about them that's never touched upon in the story or at least never outright said. i love villains having friendship evos. i love trainers who commit hard to one aesthetic or vibe with their team (beyond simply sharing a type) and i love it even better when there's one random exception especially if that's their ace. i love when later down the line someone boxes the cute fun soft baby pokémon they used to have in favor of a seemingly stronger or scarier one to show that they're getting serious. i love when they have a pokémon that's difficult to get and raises lots of questions about them. i love it when the lore behind a pokémon fits the character to a T and i love it even better when it appears to contradict them. give me the story-gameplay harmony but better yet give me what appears to be story-gameplay dissonance but might actually have implications if we're willing to dive deep into it

[blughxreader]

Just popping in to say I’m doing great! I moved. Started school. Made friends. Got into some new hobbies.

Thank you to everyone who has expressed worries/well wishes/general sweet things in my inbox. 💕💕💕💕

I’m not sure when I’ll come back, but know that I’m doing really good in the meanwhile! Love you all ~ toodles