#suppose there's something there prob
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OFMD Spiral Narratives 43: Stede's Fantasies Creating Reality
Intro: What I love most about how season 2 builds on season 1 of OFMD is the spiral narrative structure. Ground is repeatedly and explicitly re-trod from season 1 to season 2, but in season 2 everything goes deeper than season 1. Meanings are shuffled, emotions are stronger and truer, and transformation is showcased above everything. The first season plucks certain notes, then the second season plucks the same ones--but louder, and then it weaves them together to create a symphony.
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At the beginning of each season of OFMD, Stede is living in a fantasy. In the first season, it's a fantasy of being "the greatest pirate who ever lived." In the second season, it's a fantasy of romance (and a bit of uber-pirate fun). In each season, the fantasy is tempered over time by reality. Stede adapts, changes his expectations, and figures out how to keep moving forward. But a funny thing happens: over time, his fantasy ideas of reality reshape reality around him. It's not the perfect reality he once imagined and projected on the world. By the end of each season, it's a fantasy that has outgrown him, spread from him to others and enriched their lives, and the result is imperfect, hard-earned, and absolutely beautiful.
In season 1, Stede is blissfully unaware of how out of touch with reality his fantasy is. By all signs, he genuinely seems to believe his first "raid" goes well, and that he came off as a "real" pirate while stealing a plant.
And he thinks he's doing a great job as a pirate captain, even though he's totally unaware of what's going on in his crew. They don't remember his crazy shit about "talking it through," and they don't care.
They don't really get what the hell he's trying to do with his "amenities," (Pete demands to know what game he's even playing), and Stede's attempts to overlay his class-shaped fantasies onto reality lead to a "ballroom" and a library full of books the crew can't read. He doesn't think he's living in a fantasy world, but he is.
Stede's fantasy world of Season 2 is spiraled in to become more intense: he's literally in a fantasy when the season opens.
The fantasy starts with the season 1 fantasy: he's a super-pirate, complete with sword skills to match Izzy's, one-liners, vengeance for betrayals, and an earring. Then the older fantasy merges with the more recent fantasy, as references to Ed appear--followed by the man himself.
But this isn't the real Ed: this is a fantasy super-pirate version of Ed (hence the return of his beard, even though Stede last saw him completely clean-shaven). And this is a fantasy version of Ed who isn't mad at all over what Stede did last season. Love conquers all and sunset bearded* beach sex awaits. Fantasy (adolescent) romance.
And then the reality of Stede's situation attempts to suffocate him to death: Ed marrooned his crew and went off to chase madness in Stede's ship (largely as a consequence of what Stede did to him, although Izzy gets a hunk of blame for that one too), so now Stede and the gang are living in squalor.
Just like, in Season 1, Stede was lost in a fantasy that Lucius was inscribing (a literal example of Stede imposing his fantasy on reality, the idea being the this book of shit will be what future generations think of him) so it would eclipse any reality--right up until Buttons intervened with bad news.
In season 1, Stede is able to avoid reality tossing him overboard by imposing a second layer of fantasy over reality, claiming he killed Nigel so the crew will respect him.
In season 2, Stede is also using writing to avoid reality, also presenting a narrative of what's happening around him that only bears the most basic resemblance to reality (like the book Lucius wrote).
But this time, his relationship to the fantasy is more complex: it's his way of trying to cope with how quickly his life spiraled out of control; to cope with the distance between him and Ed right now; to banish the insecurity-birthed fears of his past.
But despite the fact that Stede is still struggling with the mismatch between fantasy and reality, he also demonstrates real growth in the second season.
In season 1, Stede really believed that his fantasy would come to life in front of him, as soon as he arranged it so the conditions would be right.
But in season 2, Stede knows he's creating a fantasy. He knows the fantasy that things are going well is pure copium. And that fantasy is an evolution of his "perfect pirate" fantasy from season 1, the fantasy that meant Stede's dream started with dueling and defeating Izzy, not with reaching Ed. But in season 2, Stede is able to recognize and set aside that fantasy before it takes over his life and gets him killed, like it almost did in season 1.
But the second part of Stede's season 2 fantasy is Ed, and his desperate belief that their romance will survive what's happened since they last met. Stede could have written these letters and then set them aside, to give to Ed when they meet again. Instead, even after acknowledging that the odds of Ed finding the letters are slim, even after acknowledging reality, Stede chooses a fantasy. Chooses to hope, and defies reality to hang onto that hope.
Stede's different relationships with his fantasies foreshadow his resolution this season: his fantasies about being a super-pirate captain will fade, but his romantic dream of Ed will not. And by the end of the year, of course, he'll set aside one in favor of the other.
But in the meantime, as the seasons unfold, Stede's fantasies run up into reality and lose--but not before they get him where he needs to be.
In the first season, Stede hangs onto his fantasy and hangs onto his fantasy and ends up on a Spanish warship, where he's stabbed and almost dies.
But even though riding his fantasy here was insane and misguided, it's changed his life forever--for the better. Because Stede's fantasy of being the Gentleman Pirate had a measurable effect on reality.
If Stede hadn't held onto his fantasies well past knowing "I'm not a pirate, I'm an idiot," if he hadn't imposed one layer of fantasy after another on reality, he never even would have met Ed. The odds were slim, as Stede said, of him and Ed finding each other in the first place--but Stede grabbed reality with both hands, closed his eyes, and hummed, and here they are.
And something similar happens in season 2.
If anyone had asked Ed at this point whether he wanted to see Stede--that Stede wanted to apologize--the answer would probably have been a deafeningly loud "NO." Stede's been wandering around telling anyone who will listen how crazy he is about Ed and how they're "on a break" but it'll all be fine, and if anything the obstacle will be that Ed's doing so well without him that Stede'll disrupt his life. All of this is ridiculously out of sync with reality. But it all got Stede where he needed to be. Stede believed so hard, and so long, that he was in the right place at the right time to make something fantastical really happen.
The structure gets a bit tricky here, because Stede's reckoning with his fantasy in season 1 comes before it works out for him (with Ed's arrival), but comes after it works out for him in Season 2.
In season 2, first off, just as Stede's pirate fantasy led straight to him being stabbed, his romantic fantasy leads right to him being headbutted.
Reality asserts itself, and Stede has to deal. Both times, he starts dealing with some denial.
And both times, his attempt to deny is punched in the face by reality.
In season 1, Stede's development balancing fantasy and reality is fairly straightforward--Stede believes his fantasy long enough to attract Ed, who then helps Stede not get killed by his fantasy. In season 2, Stede sits and talks to Ed and does the relationship work that lets them move forward, embracing real communication instead of romantic fantasies. He works with Izzy and learns how to bring his piracy closer to reality, to respect other people's fantasies (the cursed suit)
But here's the thing: even as Stede adjusts, sets out to become a better pirate (by taking notes, but still, he is trying) and to become a better partner, the seeds of his fantasies have been sown.
The fantasies Stede tried to impose on reality return, and they serve to reshape reality--to save him, and to give hope in darkness to the man he loves.
In season 1, Stede's fantasies of being a bloodthirsty killer and having murdered Chauncy almost get him executed--but they also get him saved. And in season 2, Stede's fantasies and resulting brief reign as a "super-pirate" may be gone, but he's still gained enough skills in pursuit of that fantasy to survive for this:
It's hardly equivalent to defeating Izzy Hands in a duel, but Stede's fantasy followed by his work has gotten him where he wants to be.
And then, in both seasons, Stede's Episode 1 fantasy appears in his Episode 8 reality. His dream of being a different kind of pirate captain is animated by his crew. His fantasy of creating a place where traumatize pirates can grow as people has come true, because other people came to want it as much as he does.
And in Season 2, going deeper as usual, the same music as in Stede's dream plays as Ed and Stede reunite. And when this fantasy becomes reality, it's more complicated than it was in Stede's dreams. But it's shared, and so it goes deeper--and it's all the more true for being earned by two imperfect men who defied the world and their own fears for each other.
And of course Stede knows. After all, his knowing made all of this happen.
#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd#ofmd s2#our flag means death#ofmd spoilers#ofmd meta#ed teach#stede bonnet#blackbonnet#i have seen every episode probably 18 times by now#i sat down to write this thinking "huh season 1 starts with stede imagining he's a pirate and season 2 with him dreaming he's a pirate#suppose there's something there prob#2 hours or writing later i'm going “WHAT EVEN IS THIS SHOW”
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do u think either charles or erik had trouble coming to terms with their love for one another?? like religious guilt, internalized homophobia, etc.
Many such cases really … not hard to imagine them dealin with that …
#snap chats#erik might depend tho. depends on when he realizes hes in love with charles#before going Full Magneto i can imagine SOME internalized guilt but post prob not#under the whole ‘why be ashamed of what i am in ANY regard’ and all that#charles def probably has a worse time dealing with feelings of guilt#tho thats just charles in general being in love with someone i fear fjOWDJAKS#i cant imagine gender has anything to do with it tho. just charles Being Charles#hang on im sitting here thinking about it now#i think charles and erik wouldnt DOUBT the love they have for each other just- again depending on what era of erik this is- may be hesitant#magneto erik reads more as Bitterly in love with charles do you know what i mean#like ‘i love you and its painful i love you because of how incompatible we are now’ type shit#charles got that tired divorced-but-still-in-love dad energy about him towards magneto#fuck i was supposed to talk about their First Feelings Of Love im so off topic djOAZJSJ#my brain refuses to think of them younger than their thirties im so sorry let me try again#yeah no i could see them both accept the fact they have feelinfs about each other but for one reason or another not act on it#esp if they were with gab at the time. Oops. its kinda awkward now#in THAT RESPECT THEN i can see charles feeling conflicted and a little guilty#ditto on eriks part if he acknowledges charles’ feelings for gab#but without gab in the picture? i could see charles making a move and not being so ashamed of himself#maybe. after some time together i do see charles making the first move#would erik reciprocate and admit his feelings in that moment ? maybe not. give him like. a day or two tho diOEDJSJ#i typed all that bullshit for nothing sorry i put the answer at rhe very bottom we know how i am at this point#see now i just imagine charles talking to erik about accepting his queerness and erik getting snooty#like No Erik Im Not Saying This So You’ll Date Me I’m Saying This So You Love Yourself or something to that tune#and charles is truthful in that hes all about helping others accept themselves. and thats exactly why erik falls harder in love with him 😔#and then they make out sloppy style the end
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call him cake cause he's got layers baby
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 2#yakuza series#yakuza 2#yakuza kiwami 2#daigo dojima#snap sketches#he doesnt have any cake himself tho </3#prob like. average.#anyway Its No Secret i draw daigo a bit. Different.#and sometimes i forget the add ons i do for him#and my last 'model' sheet is crusty SO new one and i figured id share it :)#my biggest struggled with drawing daigo is his puffer.. idk why every time i draw it he just looks bigger than i want him to#so this was originally just supposed to be Jacket Practice and maybe ill do a bit of that later#but then i was like. EEEEEE model time#my biggest crime with drawing daigo is that i get rid of his leather pants but the ripped jeans speak to me on a personal level#ignore the fact i hate jeans listen they look great on everyone else#ok i should probably get food or something. bye#my ass gon look like daigo's emaciated self if i dont walk down to the pub and get a panini or somethin ☠️
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I was so positive I'd get this job I had two interviews and passed a typing test for but I just got denied uuugh
#it didn't even pay well but i wanted it cause its an office job and near my place#i thought i did well in the interviews and i was prob fine but someone probably got the job cause theyve worked in that before or something#part of me wonders if i got screwed cause the last one was supposed to be a video interview#and when i was waiting for it to start i got a call that she was having tech issues so we did it on the phone#and like maybe getting to see the others and interact that way gave me a disadvantage in comparison#but also it is entry level which stigs to he denied gor but theres lots of people wanting to be hired#so i guess i shouldn't dwell on it#and i habe another interview for a similar job tues#talks
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so the final round huh 🚬
#it was inevitable i suppose but man#also luka needs to stay Away from hyuna#<- wants them to circulate each other so something utterly toxic and miserable results from the vortex#honestly i love lukas fucked up go to method for dealing with his opponents of imitate someone they have some kind of connection to#that died before their very eyes in order retraumatize them and make them fumble their performance#like damn where did he learn that shit#the mizitill moments were so cute tho#i love how despite how utterly wracked tills body may have been that just seeing mizi gave him the strength to go on#and is it just me or does the part where till dies does the artstyle shift a bit??#like. it didnt full on look like vivinos' style or anything more like if qmeng tried to copy it yanno?#could just be of the fact theyre so close up tho#and i never realized how close together the performances were like i thought theyre a day apart at least#but since hyunas still freshly injured (doesnt even have a bandage or anything) ig its way shorter than that#probs more like 10-60 mins
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ive had multiple conversations with ppl and always see ppl talk about how much they love interstellar. how its the best movie its their favorite and yeah its a great movie but i could NEVER rewatch it. the amount of anxiety and straight up dread that i felt while watching is so heart wrenching i never want to feel that again. also its 3 fucking hours
#maybe its cause i watched it woth my dad that im like yeahnever again#i hate hate hate hate feeling that kind of feeling those characters feel 💀 its actually prob smth deep eithin me like a fear of losing time#and ppl#the idea of never seeing smth again or something slipping between ur fingertips is so devestating u prob couldnt pay me to rewatch that#and the ending is supposed to be sort of heartwarming but???? its so devestating like spoiler hes stuck there……#and spoiler its a cycle like she never gets it……#mp#anyways i was going theough my blog and saw interstellar posts i needed to get that out#film
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“a metab day should be 2k cal” i hear you and i understand you. However. what the hell are you saying to me
#Cognitive dissonance of agreeing in theory but also theres no way im doing that once a week are u kidding. Fuck are we talking about#That makes me so nervous like just AUGH. Maybe I’ll go ham on the protein (get it?) after a rlly hard workout or something but#Like.. 1.2-5kor something. We’ll see. I should prob do metab days esp now that im exercising i was technically supposed to increase cals an#way like. I want the weight to stay off so i should play stupid games but omg going over my limits makes me anxious
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another thing i sit here and i think about with the punisher show is that i think a major disappointment for me is that his kids weren't more important than his wife. i think its a mistake to have him be someone more focused on relationships w/ adult women and less focused on making sure kids get to be kids and, most importantly, grow up.
i think it was just so annoying in the show that they made him flashback to his wife constantly and it was always like sexual tension and w/e bc i think..... i think its better if hes still there just looking for his daughter. wondering who she would have been. hes looking for his son, fearing what it would mean if he grew up to be just like his father.
i think for one of his grounding things to be his wife asking him to join her, or for him to be in a mental space of having sex with his wife while being tourtured, not only was the scene really fucking weird, i think it was just disappointing. bro was like deployed more often than he was at home with her?
maybe its just because im a daughter who wants the love of a father, but i also just felt as though the love he had for his daughter in daredevil S2 was more powerful than anything they attempted to portray in S1 of the punisher with his wife.
#scarlet witch gets to mourn the children she never even had but the punisher stand alone show couldn't do that.#i didnt watch season 2 maybe that ones better i know he gets a daughter figure in his life or something but i just wasn't inspired to watch#i'll probs watch it at some point tho#the punisher#frank castle#thoughts?!?!!?#anyone?!?!#tips#i think its such a major disappointment that his kids felt so devalued in the show in comparison to daredevil's show#i guess i also just have never felt that frank truly loved his wife in the way a husband should#from the comics and the show. i think he loved her#but i think she more represents the life he thinks hes supposed to have as a 'normal' person than a true love of his life. which i think#is something that happens with a lot of wives. they're not seen as actual people to their husbands but rather just something to make#them feel 'normal' or a 'correct man'#like he has the nuclear family#and it never changed him. not really.#i dont know im rambling and im in class im just really emotional
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happy april fools' from your big brothers, dumbass (affectionate)
#persona#art tag#p5r#p4g#p3re#i think i'll use the tags for the specific games i've played#anyway i have a headcanon#my renren REALLY admires his big brothers and is VERY prone to being gullible around them#i mean... why whould they just lie yanno ???#this is an incredibly stupid comic#but when i first saw the p3 school emblem i laughed my ASS off#bc all i could see was the bmw logo#then i started p4 and LO WHY IS IT THE MERCEDES LOGO LMFAOOOO#like ok i know the p3 one is probs supposed to represent the moon phases#and the p4 one is probs just a Y for yatogami ?? maybe ??#but i still find it SO FUNNYYYY#anyway i need to do some reference sheets for these three#or a relationship chart or sth#that said i've only played like 2hours of p4#my headcanons arent anything to do with real canon tbh#i am making them my ocs now and you cant do anything to stop me#I SWEAR if i get any comments that are like#UHM AKSHULLY JOKER KNOWS THE OTHER TWO SCHOOLS or something#i am going to lose my mind#this is a joke and joker is there to do the setup for the joke#HENCE HIS NAME LOL
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yeah yeah yeah matt wearing shorts in the new episode (slap his bare thigh sound like a screenshot) but what's (conor mcgregor burger king ad voice) got me really fired up is the heretofore unseen leg tattoo....like who are those guys...
#matt watson#supermega#also the dunk low blue is still so fucked man and the shorts exacerbate the fuckedness#could probs trawl insta or something for an answer but the mystique is more fun i suppose
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that last post gutted me like a fish so tbh i am going to talk about ku.ro and how his martyrism never ended with adam.
the interesting thing about this page is the discovery that killing the count does not come without a curse (one that puts you to sleep for more than a hundred years with no real guarantee of when you'll wake up) - while it's porminent to know that this is something tsub.aki, lil.y, jej.e and the alicei.ns are aware of, it's placement hints a rather interesting truth.
these panels are in the middle of ku.ro's memories, meaning that ku.ro was aware that his decision to kill the count would ultimately lead to some sort of curse that would make him disappear for at least 100 years at that.
when we see him in the scene where they decide the counts fate, he appears almost out of it - much more depressed and desolate than he had been when even called to attend it, because there is a chance that this scene (and it's revelations) happened between the two. while the other three voted to kill the count, the words from mrs alice.in were probably running through his head in the same tune: he was responsible, and therefore it would become his responsibility to bare the curse and this unknown fate at the same time.
it explains his reactions to both lawl.ess and gea.r more honestly: lawl.ess calls him out for being this martyr and ku.ro does not answer because he knows it's the truth. he refuses to look gea.r in the eye when he promises they can fix the cieling in the roof when he gets back because truthfully, he doesn't know if he'll ever be.
the "geez .... what a pain" carries such a heavy burden without anyone but the one's in that room knowing. the situation was worse than ku.ro thought, but if there was one thing these people knew about him the most - it's that he would always sacrifice himself in place of those he cared about in the same vein.
#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#this post was actually supposed to have a completely diff direction from when i first wrote this#and was about to make a funny: ku.ros spirit animal is a cat bc hes on his 4th - 6th life but then#i reread this chapter and had this harrowing realisation ... ive talked about these panels before ... but re-reading them today came with#this and now i am. shook :)#its always been something ive countered - that ku.ro was more than aware his actions would have consequences. but the fact he knew about th#curse and what it could cause ... omg why DIDNT YOU TELL ANYONE.#THEY WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU YOU WERE BEING FOOLISH IF YOU HAD SAID WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!!!!!#his appearances from when c.3 first arrive to the actual decision making / him seeing gea.r again is so different#hes so withdrawn. he goes into himself so HEAVILY ... and its probs bc of all he placed on his own shoulders#ku.ro you were NOT. ATLAS. PUT THAT DOWN. if anyone else had known what you'd known ... they would have stopped you#they would have helped you :sob:
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i drew a furina in a modern fit :3
rb >>> like
#genshin impact#furina#digital art#artists on tumblr#i dunno why i leaned into a star motif considering she doesnt have that at all#its prob because the reference for the outfit had the stars now that i think about it#question answered immediately lol#this was supposed to be a sketch#but it evolved#in a modern au furina would be that one legendary theater kid / literature kid that tried method acting once#and took severe psychological damage from it#or sth havent done her story quest yet#i really disliked her in the beginning but the archon quest which i wont spoil really did something#genshin impact fanart#furina fanart#friendly reminder that liking does NOTHING on this website <3#ofc dont reblog it if u dont want to tho
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okay so speaking of the finale i didn't have time to finish anything new but i rounded up my favorite archer fics for your viewing pleasure, all are rated E <3
💥 no light, no light / 8.8k / While Archer's in a coma, Cyril builds himself a whole new life (for better and for worse.) Messiness predictably ensues when Archer returns. / cyrling
💥 you are everything i want (cause you are everything i'm not) / 4.5k / Archer and Cyril hate each other and are stuck sharing a hotel suite. There's only one bed. / cyrling (vicious hatesex edition)
💥 part of that dream / 7k / There’s an aspect of Fabian’s life that he keeps very secret. / fabicyril, dilf fabian cinematic universe
💥 out of network / 5.9k / Takes place right after 'out of network' (13x05). Cyril has some things to say about Archer's relationship with his therapist. They talk about their feelings later that night. / cyrling (feelies hours)
💥 Prelude, Fugue and Riffs / 3.9k / Takes place before 'fugue and riffs' (04x01), though it's slightly au. Bob and Linda take Archer in after he discloses that he needs a new identity and a place to stay. Tension develops between Bob and Archer, which they happily explore. / insert bob/archer portmanteau here
💥 best friends / 4.3k / Takes place right after 11x05 ("Best Friends.") Cyril helps Archer with his post-coma dry spell. Aleister may have had a point. / cyrling (h/c edition)
💥 like a heathen clung to the homily / 5k / Sterling dresses as a priest for the gang's latest mission. Cyril has some feelings about it, which they explore. / cyrling (priest kink edition)
💥 nothing will feel the same (because nothing will be the same) / 16.5k / This takes place during and then immediately after mission: difficult (12x08.) Life after the Agency takes a toll on Archer. He finds comfort in places that are both novel and very familiar. / cyrilanarcher
#archer fx#archer#sterling archer#cyril figgis#fabian kingsworth#<- sorry for being annoying i'm just like oh GOD it's ?? over now??? and i always got little surges of hits and such when the new seasons#came back so uhhhhhhh >>#another chapter of 'nothing will feel the same' is coming btw;; I've been working on it :' )#like it's finished as is; it doesn't Need any more story to be finished but there's more i want to say#there's probs also gonna be more 'part of that dream' bc I've been itching for more of cyril and eileen#also there's even more on my ao3 these are just my faves .#i feel like writers aren't Supposed to pick faves but 'no light' is one of my favorite things I've ever written lmao. i hope we get even#just a Little Something about cyril's feelings about archer's coma like god that's SO JUICY !!!#my only regret about that story is not finding out about him dressing as archer for halloween sooner bc oh my GOD ???#okay anyway anyway talk to me about archer fx haha i have things to say <3
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Can someone explain what the narrative stakes are even supposed to be anymore in jjk. All the characters are essentially guaranteed to die, the current cast is comprised almost entirely of characters who showed up 2/3rds into the story and we're supposed to care about them for some reason, and I do not even know what the threat is supposed to be anymore. The apocalypse? Destruction of an amorphous innocent society? Like has ANYTHING been shown of "here's the regular world that apparently needs to be saved" or are we just supposed to assume "this society is just Real Life+, so you're REQUIRED to care if some guy threatens to kill all humanity, because one of those humanities may be... a child" or something. Can you spare two seconds to show anything other than some magic randos fighting, or is it just a superhero story all the time now, minus the fun. Remember when yuuji had friends.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk crit#sorry for like being salty in what will prob be the main tag#I simply do not vibe at ALL with the direction this series has gone in and would love someone to complain about it with ahfkaj#I'd write an entire meta on the narrative flaws but I do not feel like it#seriously though it's chill if people like the story and I'm not trying to cause shit by tagging it#well I'm sort of trying to cause shit#but that shit is 'blease will someone complain with me because I love complaining'#I just don't get it#like oh wow you killed characters off and established stakes! that sets a tone and shows that this is a serious conflict!#oh nvm you've killed everyone just to be gratuitous about it and prove how tooootally realistic your story is#and now there's no reason to care bc why get invested when there's an 80% chance the characters will all die#like. you're just alienating people from caring about the story you're trying to make them care about#idek what kenjaku is supposed to be up to anymore#for all I care he could explode the world and I'd be like whatever there was probably no one interesting left anyway#everything that happens anymore in jjk feels like someone said 'but what if all the nonsense in DBZ... was edgy'#and then thought they did something interesting#wooooahhhh someone did a fight for 70 chapters! so innovative and unique!#someone transformed! what a twist!!#woooahhh you did a nonsense rug-pull and are now lying to us acting like it was intended the whole time! sacre bleu!!!#anyway see my previous complainy post to see why gojos plot specifically is harmful bullshit#but it's a shoooooneeennnnnn#it doesn't neeeeeeeed to be written well or responsibly amiright?!#it just needs to make straight guys on twitter think they're unique for saying 'the real issue with jjk is that some women like it '#ok I'm done complaining. FOR NOW.#I'm sure I'll think of something else to complain about in two seconds.#fluffle talks
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the very incredible experience of scrolling phaidei thirst trap fanart and thinking “if anybody saw this on my phone im gonna get outed as gay” before realising that im perceived as a girl so. ??
#😭😭😭???? I’ll take this as a win! ok!#unironic win in mindset considering my ‘accidentally misgendering & deadnaming myself’ game is crazy#trans#anyway *goes completely off topic* I WANT a to play more hsr but there’s straight up nothing to do anymore. I cleared it all.#if you wanna get real I suppose I still have the dreamscape pass thing but that’s only 20 jades#also I can grind out simuni and divuni for occurances and curios that are still missing for 20 each which is actually a lot#but that falls under doing the same thing over and over again hoping I get a new entry at some point which is sort of insane behaviour#tbh I did that for aven back then so 💀 sure dude… let’s do it for phainon too…. get me outta here…#ohh… new divuni is coming out isn’t it? alright that’s something#I kinda wanna pull Robin but it’s because she’s so meta it’s disgusting#she’s /alright/ but I don’t go anywhere near crazy for her#aven buff…. perfect aven team….#I only pull characters im off the walls about I must stick to my principles. no fun playing a character you don’t love#I say as if I didn’t pull topaz#I need my ip3 aventiopaz red blue yellow trio propaganda. they look so fucking good next to each other#starting to learn I may be very colour combo oriented when judging ships#i do like mydei a lot but gameplay leaks 💀 also img 💀💀I have a dps problem and another img dps is not gonna fix it#anaxa… anaxa…………….. apparently he might be the bitchy type… lmfao my fav… honestly I’d prob end up loving him#which is like great but also please I have a goal and I need to lock in#uuoruuhgg I’ll see how much I end up liking him. or how good his kit is. or how busted phai e6 is. or how feasible e6 phai would be atp#wind dps would save my life tho.#for phys I could still be using Clara (point and laugh) but wind is coverage that im completely missing
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for a layout of a new fanfic (5-10k words) that takes place over two different alternating years (2025 and 2012) would yall prefer a multi-chaptered fic with shorter (1k-ish) chapters OR a one-shot piece with clear 2012/2025 headers each time the year switches?
#if the multi-chaptered version wins the first chapter would probs be posted tonight and updated every week or so until it’s done.#if yall want a oneshot it’ll be another few weeks until it’s finished probs#this was supposed to get posted like two weeks ago but it’s kinda grown into something much bigger#it’ll be around 5-10k words when finished.#and yet there is still not plot in it only rapid fire emotions and heavy handed metaphors lmao#phan fic#fanfic#fan fic#phan#dan and phil#fanfiction#dnp
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