#this post was actually supposed to have a completely diff direction from when i first wrote this

[truethes]

that last post gutted me like a fish so tbh i am going to talk about ku.ro and how his martyrism never ended with adam.

the interesting thing about this page is the discovery that killing the count does not come without a curse (one that puts you to sleep for more than a hundred years with no real guarantee of when you'll wake up) - while it's porminent to know that this is something tsub.aki, lil.y, jej.e and the alicei.ns are aware of, it's placement hints a rather interesting truth.

these panels are in the middle of ku.ro's memories, meaning that ku.ro was aware that his decision to kill the count would ultimately lead to some sort of curse that would make him disappear for at least 100 years at that.

when we see him in the scene where they decide the counts fate, he appears almost out of it - much more depressed and desolate than he had been when even called to attend it, because there is a chance that this scene (and it's revelations) happened between the two. while the other three voted to kill the count, the words from mrs alice.in were probably running through his head in the same tune: he was responsible, and therefore it would become his responsibility to bare the curse and this unknown fate at the same time.

it explains his reactions to both lawl.ess and gea.r more honestly: lawl.ess calls him out for being this martyr and ku.ro does not answer because he knows it's the truth. he refuses to look gea.r in the eye when he promises they can fix the cieling in the roof when he gets back because truthfully, he doesn't know if he'll ever be.

the "geez .... what a pain" carries such a heavy burden without anyone but the one's in that room knowing. the situation was worse than ku.ro thought, but if there was one thing these people knew about him the most - it's that he would always sacrifice himself in place of those he cared about in the same vein.

[sailormoonandme]

Usagi’s Evolution as a Healer Goddess

The other day I saw a post discussing the evolution of Usagi’s fuku and it occurred to me how Eternal Sailor Moon’s costume was her first Senshi uniform to ditch the tiara. 

That in turn led me to consider how that kind of makes Usagi weaker as it removes a very useful weapon for her. After all, if you include the movies, Usagi uses some variant of Moon Tiara Action in practically every season prior to Stars.

However, dwelling more upon it I realized how this tiny change was all too appropriate for Usagi’s character development.

Firstly, by supplanting the Tiara with her Moon planetary symbol, Eternal Sailor Moon more closely resembles both Queen Serenity, her own Princess Serenity form and her future self as Neo-Queen Serenity. 

Since all three are objectively more powerful than Usagi typically is as Sailor Moon I think the change emphasises how she has ‘levelled up’ in her Eternal form. When combined with the angel wings, Eternal Sailor Moon shifts Usagi visually closer to her future self as NQS, which in the anime is implied to be her most powerful incarnation.* It is almost as though the visual was communicating that the Divine Miracle Magic that she’d previously drawn upon as Princess Serenity in Classic-SuperS had now become ingrained in her standard Senshi form and thus was more accessible to her. 

It was in thinking of her previous efforts as Princess Serenity that I inevitably recalled her duel with Metalia/Beryl in episode 46 and realized that Eternal Sailor Moon was the first time since Classic that Usagi’s default attack was a healing  technique not a destructive one. 

Moon Healing Escalation was Usagi’s first healing technique but until Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss (and it’s later upgrade, Silver Moon Crystal Power Kiss) it was also her only healing technique. 

Between regaining healing techniques and ditching her tiara/other destructive attacks/weapons, I think this represents her subtle growth in both her power and status. After all, it is a sad fact of life that it is easier to destroy something rather than fix it, thereby making the latter far more impressive.**

This skewing towards healing power rather than destructive power is also (arguably) thematically appropriate given the nature of Sailor Moon as a female power fantasy as (rightly or wrongly) the act of healing is typically coded as feminine. 

We can even take this further by examining things from the ‘opposite direction’ as it were.

Consider that in the climactic final episodes of Sailor Stars, Eternal Sailor Moon’s healing technique actually fails her when used against Galaxia. In later episodes, upon adopting her Princess Serenity form (complete with larger and more obviously angelic wings), she uses a sword to duel Galaxia.

Obviously a sword is, at least predominantly, an offensive weapon and can therefore be viewed as symbolic of aggression; let’s leave any Freudian or gendered interpretations alone for today. Her use of the sword is highly uncharacteristic (in the anime). Even her explicitly offencive weapons (like the Cutie Moon Rod or Spiral Moon Heart Rod) weren’t as clearly aggressive nor obviously violent. Desperate times calling for desperate measures? Perhaps, but we might also speculate it was her subconsciously reacting to grief. Not only can grief make you act in ways you wouldn’t normally, but a sword after all was a weapon wielded by her lover in his Prince Endymion incarnation. Her lover whom Usagi had just learned Galaxia had murdered. In other words, amidst her grief she reacts by going too hard in the other direction after healing her enemy proves ineffective.

However, when all is said and done the sword fails her.*** Ultimately is simply escalates the conflict by prompting Galaxia to become Chaos Galaxia and thereby make Usagi’s chances of victory all the slimmer. If we wished to stretch things, you could perhaps say that this is a commentary about how war and violence ultimately begets yet more war and violence.

Even if that is an over extrapolation though, it still served to emphasis the point that a sword is not befitting of Usagi, that she was doomed to lose if she continued to battle with destroying her enemy as the end goal.

In fact, her road to real victory begins when she not doesn’t attack Galaxia but makes it easier for herself to be attacked. In the end, Usagi doesn’t confront her most powerful enemy as the God-Queen of the future, the demi-goddess Princess of the distant past, the sailor-suited soldier of love and justice in the present, nor even a humble school girl.

She does it by literally stripping herself of all those things, of stripping herself of everything in fact.

Her weapons? Gone.

Her other items, like her Tiare? Gone.

Her comrades? Gone, and they’d be powerless against Galaxia anyway.

And finally, even her clothes? Gone!

Beyond the Silver Crystal (an outward visualization of her heart/soul) and the angel wings (symbolic of her role as a saviour) she is completely (but tastefully) naked.

Usagi visually and quite literally is more vulnerable  than she’s ever been, even more so than on her first night as Sailor Moon.

And yet this is Usagi at her actual most powerful.

It is her distilled to her absolute essence as a person, all other trappings removed. She’d just one person showing another they will categorically not harm them, that they bear them no malice and they have nothing to hide. That openness and compassion is what ultimately enables her to connect to the good within Galaxia and pull her away from the darkness that had corrupted her.

Usagi in this moment completely fulfilled her character arc.

·      In the Dark Kingdom arc Usagi destroys (or seals away depending upon your POV) Beryl/Metalia.

·      In the Hell Tree arc, Usagi resolves the over all plot via a healing technique (although it is functionally similar to a destructive attack). However, that only happens because the Hell Tree both instructs Usagi to do that and because it lets her. It is the equivalent of a sickly doctor instructing a nurse on what to do to make them better. The nurse might have the power but their agency as a healer is limited.

·      In the Black Moon arc, Usagi, with help, destroys Wiseman/Death Phantom. 

·      In the Death Busters arc, Usagi does save Hotaru and ‘purify’ her. However, like the Hell Tree, that was something Hotaru wanted. Additionally, her purification functioned as a way to heal the body of someone sick and who wanted to sacrifice themselves, not someone actually evil. The evil in question was Pharaoh 90 and it is presumed that Usagi destroyed him (although it might’ve been Hotaru or the pair of them together). 

·      Forgive me for skipping the Dead Moon Circus arc as Chibiusa is the real protagonist there, and Usagi’s role is chiefly as a rescuer. It therefore doesn’t really apply, although the Nehelenia mini-arc from Stars is a different story. There, Usagi was a healer again, but she did it with the help of her loved ones and with the aid of her Tiare device. Nevertheless, we can see by this point Usagi’s capacity as a healer heroine had been gradually growing until we get to the battle with Galaxia.

By the end of series, Usagi has successfully healed Galaxia and it is neither with the aid of her comrades, nor with the power of a weapon or device, nor with any instructions from her ‘patient’ or any other third party.

Additionally, Galaxia (unlike Hotaru) wasn’t someone’s who was saved from a noble self-sacrifice or had a physical ailment that needs to be addressed. In Galaxia’s case, her very soul had lost it’s way and become corrupted. She had lost who she was supposed to be and her purpose in life had been perverted.****

When combined with how powerful Galaxia always was, how Chaos and the Star Seeds empowered her further, Usagi’s victory here cannot be understated.

Her ‘patient’ was more powerful than all her other adversaries, was in need of more healing than her other ‘patients’ and was more resistant to being healed. Not to mention, since she’d directly murdered her beloved friends (and indirectly aborted her future daughter), Usagi would’ve been forgiven for not  even trying to salvage Galaxia 

And yet, with no weapons, no backup and just the power of her heart and soul basically, Usagi succeeded. 

After Stars the idea that Usagi could heal the entire planet after a global catastrophe and reshape it into a fairy tale crystalline utopia was all too believable.

What’s healing one planet when her ability to empathise had already healed a whole galaxy?

Who needs a tiara to reduce evil to dust when you can simply convince evil to be good?

*This is arguably symbolized by baby Hotaru’s vision of NQS transforming into Eternal Sailor Moon in episode 1 of Stars.

In fact, we might argue that a low-key subplot running through all of Stars (both the Nehelenia and Galaxia portions of it) is gradually transitioning Usagi closer to the person she is destined to become as Neo-Queen Serenity, hence why the first episode features the most explicit reference to her fate as Queen since R. 

**Personally I am an atheist, but nevertheless I and others like me can grasp why  deities in most major religions through history weren’t simply capable of mass scale destruction, but also of essentially manipulating reality to create  things too.

By that same token, it’s little surprise that perhaps the widest spread religious figure in history was Jesus Christ who rarely (if ever) engaged in aggression or destructive acts, predominantly employing divine healing powers.

I suspect the attraction of such figures to human beings lies in the fact that on some level we know that, given the right time and resources, we mere mortals would be capable of destroying anything. Given time it’s all but certain we will develop the technology to even destroy planetary bodies. On the flipside, I think we also intuitively grasp that  reversing  such damage, of reattaching a limb, of stanching bleeding, etc, is far more difficult if not impossible. Hence we attributed the ability to do such things to larger than life Divine Entities.

*** Now that I think of it, it’s also poignant that Usagi tries and fails to defeat Galaxia with a sword when we take Sailor Uranus into consideration. 

Uranus is of course associated with her weapon, the Space Sword and, like Usagi, tried and failed to use such a weapon against Galaxia.

Giving Uranus a sword is symbolically appropriate given her role as the leader of the more aggressive branch of the Sailor Team. Having her fail against Galaxia and Usagi consequently fail by in some way ‘mimicking her tactics’ is equally symbolically appropriate. Not only because of their ideological conflict in Sailor Moon S but also their tensions in Sailor Stars itself. In both situations Usagi’s more open, less aggressive, ideology was ultimately proven correct. 

Thus in using a sword against Galaxia it represented how Usagi was always doomed to fail by taking the aggressive/destructive route and how she was arguably not being true to herself in that moment. 

****It’s not to dissimilar to Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker now that I think about it. 

[herotheshiro]

ok so i’m gonna actually write out a post instead of reblogging and commenting bc i expect to go a little longer than i have patience for via tagging. EDIT: ok yes this did end up becoming a monster of a post. i apologize to those who actually try to read this/manage to read the entire thing

so this manga is called will you marry me again if i am reborn, it’s abt a couple who meet when they are 5yo and 9yo respectively (if i remember correctly, i just know their age diff is 4 yrs) and they basically have feelings for each other from day one so they get engaged at 26 and 30yo (synopsis basically of ch 1 lol). the manga consists of basically one-shots covering both the mains’ experiences growing up together and the experiences of the fam/friends around them. (i say one-shots bc the “story” usually gets resolved in 1 ch, there technically is a linear plot connecting the chapters but the main meat of the ch is usually not covering that plot specifically but rather talking abt things that come up due to that plot. this makes more sense if you actually have read the manga)

classic me decided to look this up on a whim despite having schoolwork to do after seeing it while going through my IG saved (i had seen this manga at least a yr or so ago but never looked it up) and damn ngl i was expecting it to be a one-shot but nah it’s 4 volumes and ongoing .......

at face value, i do like this manga ... the main couple is sweet and i’m weak to cute scenes, the women in this manga are badass and physically and emotionally wrecking havoc (not in a bad way, just like in a headstrong way) while the men weep (not like in an abuse way, just like they’re uselessly crying abt stuff), and i think the way the manga covers the history of this family/related ppl is interesting (i.e., it’s not a completely linear way, like 1 ch is this person. now the next ch is their mother. now the next ch is their father, etc etc). this manga does take place in japan in the 40s though, so note some social things still remain despite the switching of stereotypical gender roles (e.g., everyone is married at 25-30yo. like i kept getting caught up on this one like ‘why the fuck is every character married. like chill, you don’t gotta be married--oh wait nm i forgot back then ppl tended to get married p fast/early’).

on that note. probably my biggest complaint with this manga though is (spoiler) the pairing of chizuru and toyokichi. who have an age gap of 7yo and 32yo (AT STORY INTRODUCTION. thankfully they don’t get together/are really romantically involved until later but hold on let me say what i want to say first before i go into that). that’s right, what i thought was a joke premise (‘a pathetic man like you is still single rn? well i’ll let you marry me once i become of age if you’re still alone’) was NOT actually a joke bc later chapters reveal that they did get together as adults. which is FUCKED UP !!! like sure i feel like there are het couples irl who have huge ass age gaps and these relationships are for the most part accepted (or tolerated) then in the 40s and even now but that is so fucking weird that this man 25 yrs a girl’s senior still for whatever cursed reason married the girl in the end. (like legit. when the girl said that statement above, the man was like ‘damn i’d be committing a borderline CRIME if i did that’. not in a romanticized way though, like he was weirded out and that is so damn sad that i feel the need to clarify that. i have read too much shit and unfortunately some ppl do like that) 1. i don’t understand why ppl need to pair up all of their mains/introduced characters so bad. like... if needed it’s ok to introduce a side character who doesn’t get much focus. you don’t need to pair everyone up ages be damned; 2. the acceptance of such shit ... idk. i’m not saying older generations are all necessarily fine with such age gaps but also idk if maybe that shit just flies with older ppl and it’s not a big problem (i say that bc the adults in the story don’t really seem to be saying much abt it). then again, i haven’t seen what their getting together story is yet (we’ve only been seeing them together as they are in present time aka as adults) so idk if maybe ppl were against it but they still got together but man. that shit rubs me the wrong way.

as of right now, the ongoing story is focusing on the effect of ww2 on the mains’ and their families. tbh i was kind of surprised at how this story turned into a war story; i mean it’s to be expected if your story is in the 40s, i think most stories around the world that take place in the 40s HAVE to talk abt ww2 bc it’s not really something that can be glossed over easily since it really did impact daily life so much. but also i didn’t expect it ... i don’t really enjoy reading war stories, not only are they sad to read sometimes but also i feel like sometimes it’s glamorized to some degree. i don’t feel like this manga glamorizes it but i’m gonna be real i’m always kind of uncomfortable bc i’m used to hearing/reading abt nationalistic depictions (aka “hell yea go [insert native country], we are the best and fuck everyone else. also look at our causalities, we deserve to fight the other side for doing this to us”) and i never know if the author is suddenly gonna go in that direction. based on what’s been presented i don’t think it’s gonna veer in that direction but yeah.

otherwise, i think this manga is a cute read. it’s well-written enough that i kept going despite the hiccup covered 2 paragraphs ago, and i think emotional parts are handled relatively well. i think the characters are enticing for the most part, however i do feel that characters get paired up too fast (or the implication that they’re gonna get paired up). i understand that many of the characters’ stories are really only covered in 1 ch so you gotta just pair them up quickly, but for example the burned eye girl and the ex-yakuza ... i wish they hadn’t INTRODUCED the burned eye girl as being romantically interested in the latter even if it is true esp since their story is ongoing and wasn’t just limited to 1-2 chapters. like i get there’s history and we’re looking at “present day” where she’s head over heels for him but like ... idk. i’ve never been a huge fan of stories where it’s basically stated outright ppl have feelings for one another, like tangent but that’s why i didn’t really like j*son x p*per from the HoO series (i never finished this series btw lol. i think i only read up to h*ouse of h*des and even then i’m unsure if i even finished that book) bc they were basically introduced AS a couple and i’m like bro i barely know these characters, let me figure them out first before i pair them together. yes they took a break for a bit bc j*son literally lost his memory but all of their interactions from early on were then romantic to some degree as a result and i’m like bro. (on the other hand, that’s why i liked h*zel x fr*nk better. yes i believe fr*nk was introduced as having a crush on h*zel but i feel like their early development was relatively separate. also i’m censoring everything bc i don’t want the risk of pj0 ppl coming at me) i’ve also only been reading BL recently so i’m like ‘damn ok too many het pairings and not enough lgbtq content’; i mean it’s the 40s but also gay ppl weren’t invented afterwards or anything lol (that’s sarcasm. supposed to be a reference to that one tumblr post i saw where they’re like ‘we can’t have black ppl in this period piece’ ‘what, were black ppl not invented yet?’)

next paragraph despite same point bc these paragraphs are literally becoming walls. but while i think it’s cute, i prob won’t be actively following. i feel like it’s pretty standard fare for genres/topics like this despite the more unconventional storytelling. it’s relatively well done but there’s not really much new grounds being covered with this story so i don’t feel particularly inclined to pay strong attention. now that i’m at the end of this review, i’d just like to say godDAMNIT (spoiler) kenji died, and the irony hurts that kenji was like ‘kind ppl like you will die in war’ but then he ended up dying bc of his own kindness towards toyokichi ... i mean i knew he was gonna die, that’s just how the story was going but also damn it ... also if main guy’s older bro doesn’t personally meet main girl’s older bro in the story ... wtf. everything is pointing towards that happening

[janiedean]

(part 1) ur gonna roast me for this but im legit curious why mafia AUs are so bad? im asking in a non confrontational way, i get it romanticizing mafia is wrong, but i also believe that 1)most mafia AUs are a really toned down type of mafia;2)they do make for some interesting kinds of dynamics with fanart and with fics; 3)in a fic specifically u can create your own world and call something mafia and still make it so they don't kill innocent people but only idk members of other gangs or sth

(part 2) plus theyre a way to put ur charas in a completely diff context and see what theyll do. i mean i dont believe that writing ships in a certain context (like mafia) equals romanticizing that context. mafia AUs arent even my fav things to read (in fact i almost never do), im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

I’m not gonna roast you don’t worry xD okay wait let me check if I replied to this already if yes I’m gonna c/p because it’s half past midnight otherwise I’ll just go at it again wait *checks tags* fff obviously I don’t have a general post but anyway pls read this after you’ve done with my post and then this which is also choke-full of links. plus for a (not nice) laugh: here. AH WAIT I FOUND THE POST.

okay, so, let’s have it out of the way: I have nothing against mob aus or crime aus. I have a problem against calling them mafia AUs because in the US mafia = organized crime at large, in Italy mafia = ACTUAL EXISTING ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE ACTIVELY HARMFUL. now that I introduced the topic I’ll c/p you the reply I gave to another anon who while discussing the issue pointed out that most writers don’t even know Italian mafia is a thing, which is pretty much on the same discourse so...

*The thing is - in the US it might not be enough of a deal anymore and I honestly do get why people make the mafia = regular mobsters, since the mafia was the first foreign organized crime being exported to the US via italian immigrants (sorry if this sounds horrible in English but I just woke up and I still didn’t have coffee) so I understand that mafia became the umbrella term.But the thing is that - as you said, these people don’t even know that there’s a mafia in Italy anymore or where the word comes from.

 I’m going to link to italiansreclaimingitaly’s tag about the mafia and its perception outside Italy because they posted about this extensively and it’s an excellent resource, but meanwhile I’m gonna do a very short bullet point list and about the topic:

Mafia might not be a big deal in the US, but it still is here. We have the beauty of four different mafias (Cosa Nostra - the Sicilian one, camorra which is the one in Campania but has tendrils spread everywhere, the 'ndrangheta which is in Calabria and the Sacra Corona Unita in Puglia) which are all active [especially camorra and 'ndrangheta] and whose actions have direct impact (negative) on our economy and on our society. Actually mafias are one of the main reasons we’re currently economically fucked up, and if I start talking about how mafia culture keeps some areas literally backwards I could talk about it for three months.

There are still people who are killed for standing up against them. These days the most prominent personality is Roberto Saviano who is a writer who dared to put together a book documenting minutely the way camorra works and he’s been living under protection for years by this point. Like, they want him dead because he wrote a book. And I’m sorta sure that he was talking about leaving Italy and going to the US after years of sticking with it here because he can’t take it anymore but I don’t know if it was a taken decision or if it’s still debating it.

It wasn’t even thirty years ago that we had the stragi di mafia - in english it’d be something like the mafia slaughters, basically around the beginning of the nineties there were a number of bombs planted by the mafia targeting people who were trying to oppose it including judges Falcone and Borsellino, actually the anniversary of Falcone’s death is like... tomorrow. And they’ve killed people for way longer than that. Here is a list of only Cosa Nostra victims including the ones from the eighties/nineties. And people are still dying because of it. The slaughters I’m referring to are just the ones in the nineties which are enough of a number.

They also perpetuate a culture where if you testify against your mafia-employed relatives you’ll be shunned forever. There are women who testified against their families and couldn’t see their children anymore never mind that they weren’t automatically considered a relative anymore the moment they sided against the mafia. Some people have committed suicide after becoming witnesses also because our police force/justice system can be terribly non-supportive in this kind of situation so they got left on their own. Never mind that back in the day - it was the beginning of the nineties? - I recall at least a particular story of - I think, correct me if I remember wrong but I can’t remember the names for the life of me - where this guy testified against the local mafia when he either used to work for them or was forced to pay them the pizzo and in retaliation his six-year old (or five? Anyway he had a son younger than ten for sure) got kidnapped, killed and thrown into acid to dispose of the body. That happened in what, 1993? 1994? It’s pretty much yesterday. And now the camorra is doing the same - there’s a list here of camorra victims among which accidental passerbys that got killed because they were in the way which I can tell just by glancing is not complete. And I’m not even going into the 'ndrangheta. That is to say, here mafia still kills people and cripples our country.

Now, I get that it’s a word, but the point was: let’s say that instead of the Italians the Japanese came to the US first and the umbrella word for organized crime was yakuza rather than mafia and let’s say yakuza was still what it was originally in Japan while in the US it stopped being a big deal and people write yakuza!AU instead of mafia AU. Let’s say someone Japanese gets angry at that and goes like 'listen the yakuza is a real deal it does this this this and that and it’s a plague in our country so can you please at least look it up before writing your fanfic’, which is what had happened way back then when this whole mafia and fanfic thing blew up. A bunch of people told us to get over it because it’s just a word and if it’s a problem in Italy it’s not in the US so why should they care? Now, if we had been Japanese (or Chinese or Russian or Mexican) would they have said the same thing? Considering the general tumblr attitude I’m pretty sure they would have received either an apology or 'this is an important deal let’s keep that in mind’ with signal boost reblogs and stuff. 

It’s the fact that we should get over people not knowing that it’s still a real problem for us and that they can’t take five seconds to google it that is the problem imo. Especially when instead of mafia au you can just say mobsters au or tag it as organized crime and everyone is a lot happier, mostly because as the tag above explains romanticising the mafia is a good thing for them because it means they can act outside Italy with less stigma because everyone thinks that the mafia is dead or not relevant anymore, if I’m explaining myself. (And it’s active outside Italy - like, there was a mafia kill in Germany in 2007 where six people died (sorry the link is in Italian but there isn’t an English wiki page, if you look the city up you’ll find something probably) and it was because of the 'ndrangheta.

I’d really like to not get worked over it because it meant it was a thing of the past y'know, but the problem is that it isn’t and I’d rather spread some awareness in hope some of these writers look it up (because it’s a good thing that people know what mafia is since as stated they have tendrils everywhere - if you read Saviano’s book the entire first chapter is about how camorra regularly deals with Chinese import/export in Italy for one) than shrug and figure that since they’ll think everything is good for fanfic then it’s not even worth my time.*

Now, ^^^ that was the c/p-ed reply that should answer most of your doubts. What I didn’t address was:

im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

aaaand as we say here in Italy, this is where the donkey falls (sorry we have weird sayings), because in theory there’s nothing wrong with that... except that in 99% of the mafia aus I’ve seen around the thing is that they’re supposed to be cute.

like, I see a lot of shit with TINY MAFIA BOSS STEVE ROGERS with RUSSIAN ENFORCER BUCKY (????? bucky isn’t even russian???) and the yoi thing I saw before had the japanese character being the leader of a russian mafia gang which is... like... guys it doesn’t happen it really doesn’t, and a lot of them re-use wrongly terminology taken from the godfather without context or knowing what the hell it means, and it’s always from the criminals’ pov and they’re somehow seen as criminals doing justice where the police can’t (???) and like... no. mafia bosses/enforcers/employees are bad people period, and at least here if you try to leave or repent they kill your family in retribution. like, not even ten years ago there’s been a woman who used to belong to a mafia family (or one colluded with the mafia) who testified and her entire town/family shunned her and she couldn’t take it anymore and... killed herself drinking acid if I don’t recall wrong. it’s not even special cases. this shit is not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not adorable and it’s not good fodder for your imagine your otp scenario (srsly I saw one like.. let me find it,

LIKE. just look at this shit. in a regular context, the enforcer goes to the show owner to force them to pay a monthly sum to their boss lest they destroy their shop and their lives and their family’s life never mind that mafia culture is deeply homophobic so the mafia enforcer flirting with the shopkeeper is like completely fucking out of the question. I mean, people here like to shit on the sopranos but that show was actually excellent representation of Horrid Criminals Who Were Never Supposed To Be Good People and the small arc that happened when one of tony’s friends turned out to be gay (closeted) was REALLY well done. btw, it ended that when they found out he was gay most of the crowd rejected him and thought badly of him until I think they killed him also for other reasons, but that spiraled from finding out he liked dick. and that’s american mafia that they actually based on well-done research of the culture in Italy it came from, I assure you that here it doesn’t work that differently. like. the shit above is so inaccurate and frankly offensive, it’s like... I get people romanticizing problematic stuff but the thing is that when you tell them that it’s actually offensive you get brushed off as ‘ah well you’re being too sensitive it’s just a word u__u’. now, I’m all for exploring shit we wouldn’t be into, but not like THAT, because that’s like mafia romantic comedy and that’s not how it works. now, you wanna do a fic where the mafia characters are deeply flawed and bad people and the police tries to catch them? fine, great, go ahead. you wanna do a fic where the enforcer above deals with dunno an entire life of internalized homophobia when he finds the shopkeeper attractive and feels conflicted over having to con money out of him and doing horrible shit for a living and maybe understanding that crime isn’t worth it and then he actually collaborates with the police and gets shit from about everyone he knows and loves for that? okay, awesome, go ahead. nothing bad in that.

but the shit above is not exploring things we wouldn’t/writing darkfic, it’s THINKING THAT A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION WHICH IS STILL A THING IN OUR PART OF THE WORLD IS CUTE AND ADORABLE. and that only plays in their favor because it takes the bad aura out of the word and we really should not let that happen. like. that is what is bad about mafia aus and mafia discourse, that people don’t realize the mafia is alive and well and thriving and not a thing that doesn’t exist or a generic word for organized crime.

you wanna write the shit above? okay, CALL IT CRIME AU or mob au, not mafia au.

btw, add-on: idk if I mentioned it in the above post or not, but in case I didn’t, I said that people would balk at the idea of a mexican cartel au. sadly since then I’ve found out a fandom where not only there is one but it’s also extra cutesy and people apparently love it and it has a bunch of kudos/comments and idek I’m not even touching that with a ten foot pole but like... I’ve avoided it and everything that author wrote because to me it’s just... nope. like, nope. if you do mafia aus don’t make them fucking cute. (also: in the same fandom I had to mute a v. famous fanartist whose art I actually liked but did cutesy mafia aus and.. like... haahahhaahahahahaha nah sorry. can’t go there. nope.)

[zhaoly]

ok really long post ahead, sorry for mobile users since i dont think the spoiler break works on mobile iirc

i finally finished the main quest for fo4.. um.... was that it?? that was kinda my first reaction lol. ok i have SO many thoughts as i always do when i finish a game.. maybe more for this one tho

so i ended up doing both the minutemen and bos endings because they split relatively late in the story so i just made two separate saves... they were basically the same except i thought following liberty prime was kinda fun lol. i liked watching him pick up a behemoth and then just throwing it to the ground

so now that i’ve like... finished the game.... i guess i can see why people complain that fo4 is more of an fps than an rpg

like.... i’ve dumped a ton of hours into this game, but that’s mostly because i’ve spent a lot of time building settlements lol. besides that, the story does seem to be lacking a bit. i think it definitely had potential, but nothing was really fleshed out that well... like if i try to think back on what i did, i’m like.. ??

maybe part of that is because four main factions was a little ambitious? i just feel like there wasn’t much opportunity to actually get to know each faction and like actually feel like you were involved with them

1) minutemen - i mean, you got a shitton of radiant quests from preston (which drove me crazy very early on and got modded out)... and then what? you claim settlements and that’s about it. reclaiming the castle is as deep as the story gets. besides that all you have is radiant quests

also there were like... zero named characters besides preston who were actually really involved with the minutement. like there was ronnie shaw but she just ends being a merchant later, and i didn’t even get the proper armory quest from her because my game glitched out. so basically she was just a unique merchant for me

and like... who else is there?? there’s the sanctuary crew and some named settlers but none of them are really part of the “minutemen.” so like you didn’t really get to talk to members of the faction and stuff and actually feel like you were immersed in the story. like i know that the story is that you’re rebuilding the minutemen so there’s supposed to be no one but preston, but later on as you claim settlements and expand the minutement and stuff there’s still nothing... no new story, quest, npcs... you have to do some dungeon clearing quests for some of the named settlers but that’s literally it.

i liked their general “for the people” thing but like... they never really expanded on it... they did end up being one of the two factions that i sided with because of their cause but i just think the story (or lack thereof, really) with them was pretty bland

2) railroad - well i was considering joining them very early on cause i do think their cause is decent, i like deacon, and i accidentally spoiled for myself that danse is a synth (i like danse because i mean you know me and my beef)... but then i felt like they were a little too focused on the synths. like that was literally just their entire cause. and i just felt like that was just too narrow.

and you met these characters that you really just.... met and then nothing ever happened later with them! like high rise, mister tims, idk what the point of drummer boy was, etc..

and again there were just a ton of radiant quests... at least they were all finite, but like there was what? helping that one safehouse (forgot the name), mila quests, and pam’s caches. the ticonderoga quest was kinda interesting but i wish there was something more besides “here’s ticonderoga. oh whoops it gets destroyed later. haha!”

3) institute - well i disliked them right off the bat because they were the ones who not only MURDERED MY HUSBAND but also KIDNAPPED AND BRAINWASHED MY CHILD (yes i consider it brainwashing)????? like come on. i take this stuff very personally man. it’s the same reason why i joined the stormcloaks in skyrim (before realizing what a bunch of racist assholes they are but.... i digress) cause i was like WHY tf would i join a group that tried to execute me with absolutely zero cause

so i’m just like why would i join a group that murdered my husband (right in front of my eyes i might add) and kidnapped my child. hello??? like yeah i hated the fact that they gave you a goddamn baby in the first place, but since i had it i was like WELL I AM OUTRAGED THAT THEY DID THIS TO MY CHILD.

then there was the whole deal with them actually taking real people (and presumably murdering them) and replacing them with synth copies. i HATED that a lot and it was a big turnoff on top of all of my personal grievances against them. their elitist attitude towards the commonwealth was annoying as fuck as well as their manufacturing of gen 3 synths for what was basically slave labor. also there were like random conversations that would occur between scientists and synths and the scientists were such assholes.

oooooh and the part where you ask shaun why he decided to let you out of your cryo pod and he’s like “well... i suppose that i just wanted to see what would happen” and i was like BITCH WHAT?????? EXCUSE ME?????? THAT’S YOUR REASON?? 

like the shaun/father thing was an interesting twist in the story... but it def was not enough to make me want to join the institute. esp with that craphole reason that he gave me for letting me out of the cryo pod. and like the dude is basically a stranger to you, why tf would you just join the institute bc he’s “”””family””””? i suppose they tried to make it a more difficult dilemma by really trying to push your character’s story in the “i’m looking for my son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” direction before you actually find out what happened to shaun, but i didnt find that a very compelling plot point in the first place.... so it had pretty much no bearing on my decision

also. the synth shaun. he made the synth shaun which is like super weird and a little creepy. like this kid’s never gonna age.... i mean 50 years from now he’s gonna be a 60 y-o in a 10 y-o’s body!!!!!!!! who tf thought that was a good idea?? i mean i’m on the “gen 3 synths are truly sentient” train cause the game basically does nothing to show you otherwise. you have institute scientists telling you that they aren’t, but literally everything in the game shows you that they are. also danse

and then their cause... they say they’re the “best hope for humanity” and stuff but like what are they actually doing to help humanity. the only beneficial thing they did was create gmos like that huge pumpkin (while replacing roger ww in the process which as i mentioned before was something i hated). besides that, wtf are they doing besides hiding away in their blindingly white laboratories experimenting w/ synths?? 

anyway yeah i hated the institute but i guess in terms of “story” they did a little better than the railroad and minutemen. but they honestly got a helping hand from the fact that shaun was involved with them and a large part of the story early on was looking around for information about shaun and being able to ask npcs about the institute. however once you proceeded past a certain point they also fell into a very boring routine of having a handful of radiant quests available and not much else involving them

4) bos - well.... i def felt like they were super culty when i first went onto the prydwen. and i really dont like their stance on gen 3s and non-feral ghouls. but i do like that theyre out and about clearing the commonwealth of super mutants, ferals, and raiders lol. 

i really really hate the whole danse thing tho and how close-minded they are about him :( i did see that there was actually cut content where you could challenge maxson and danse would get his rank back and i kinda wish that they actually implemented that. i dont really want the elder role but i’d like the chance to do something where you could shift the bos’s opinion on gen 3s, even if only slightly... like THAT would be a good story element, come on! 

but w/e. i really didnt like them at first but i like their aesthetic compared to everyone else and their general cause (at least theyre not like opening fire on the slog, right... ?) ..

anyway i might just stick with their ending as my “main” playthrough cause afaict they’re not much diff from the minutemen ending except i get the sentinel rank, and you actually have some named people that you can interact with about your choice.

ok im actually really tired of writing this post... i actually have so many more thoughts haha but i dunno if i’ll be able to get them all out because as if on cue i’m getting tired around midnight.. anyway

yeah so the story was eh and i wish it went more in depth. like, even though i wasnt super fond of fnv’s story, i did think it was more immersive and detailed... i think fo4 had a lot of potential but sadly didn’t quite deliver. tbh i think the game couldve gone without the railroad if four factions really did just spread them too thin while in development.

like i think the part of the story with kellogg was good... the whole thing about trying to find the identity of this guy, searching his home, searching for him, looking through his memories, etc was pretty interesting. i liked how we were able to see his backstory and something about him that wasn’t just “dude who murdered my husband.” like that was all good stuff! but the story REALLY deteriorated after that... i mean you just end up having to kill the guy and then he’s just out of the story completely.

oh and like related to that--what was that whole deal with nick speaking in kellogg’s voice briefly after you finish in the memory den??? why would they just throw in a line like that and not expand on it at all???? that bugged me SO MUCH because again there was so much potential there!!! if kellogg had somehow gotten into nick’s mind you could be presented with so many new options. like how do you get him out? can you get him out? who do you go to for help? etc etc etc NOT JUST SOME THROWAWAY LINE THAT ACTUALLY DOES NOTHING AHHH

speaking of which. fo4 seems to do that a LOT. like maybe it’s recency bias bc i really dont remember all the details of fnv to be able to compare, but i feel like fo4 has a ton of little throwaway things that are interesting details but aren’t expanded on at all. like not even a little bit. i think there needs to be a certain balance between details and mini stories... like fo4 dangled SO many of these little details in your face that you just never got to expand on at all.. i love an interesting world where you can discover things that dont really have an impact on the main story or anything but these scraps just drove me crazy.

also there were like... no vaults??? i feel like fnv had a lot more... fo4 has vault 95 for cait (and a kinda boring purpose/story imo). the vault of triggermen where you find nick. the vault for refining human genes. vault 81. and that’s it.. i felt like i spent a lot more time in vaults in fnv? and they had some creepier stories/experiments too

ok like my brain... is really slowing down but i will at least get a few more thoughts down before i go to sleep

SETTLEMENTS. LORD HELP ME. again, a great concept with so much potential but poor execution. i really enjoyed settlements--with mods. vanilla settlements are just so horribly lacking. for one thing not being able to clean up your settlement is just terrible. you really would just have to leave piles of trash, garbage, debris, 200-YEAR-OLD SKELETONS, etc, lying around your settlement!!!!! where you’re supposed to have people living!!

settlers themselves also have some pretty terrible ai. theyre stupid af. their pathing is godawful. i am extremely proud of them when they actually are able to successfully navigate a structure i built because it is such a goddamn struggle for them! like they’re literally coded to take the shortest possible straight line path so i get tons of them walking into walls trying to get to their destination instead of walking around them, going through doorways, using stairs etc (yes theyre all navmeshed)... it’s actually so aggravating

also settlements themselves are incredibly and frustratingly buggy. the resources getting messed up in your pip boy bug is super annoying. there’s a shit ton of other bugs with them that i’m just too tired to list but i’m like ahhh god i feel like i’m playing a beta version of this shit! also what’s up with them spawning on top of buildings in sanctuary?

ok yeah i have a lot of crticisms for the game so it may not seem like i enjoyed it but i actually did. i think the story was decent up until after you finished kellogg’s part, cause after that it just got really boring (which is lame because seriously, the story gets boring after you can start decided which faction/s you want to join??)

but mods def contributed a lot to my enjoyment, esp my settlement mods... like most of my mods are settlement mods lol. so like... if i played vanilla fo4 i do doubt that i’d have enjoyed it as much. i do actually like the fps aspect of it, but i think there are too many places that are overloaded with enemies.. so you’re constantly fighting shit. it gets kind of annoying after a while.

OH THAT JUST REMINDED ME. GUNNERS. another thing that had potential but ended up just being... ??? raiders but fancier??? you could literally switch out all the gunners for raiders and nothing would change. when i first encountered them i was really excited cause i thought it was a new side faction but they’re literally just... raiders. but fancy. it’s disappointing af. there’s no story behind them... you can get into gunners plaza and find some holotapes from the leader and some members but then there’s nothing else! you don’t ever get to find out what the story is behind all of it! again with dangling some details in front of your face and then just never expanding on it at all. ugh gunners were seriously a big disappointment for me.

okay i’m actually done now cause i’m tired and typing this out actually took a lot of time lol. i still have a ton of thoughts but i need to sleep. lame