#i just wrote a goddamn essay on this shit.. :\

[monarchisms]

so for those who missed it, geoff talked a bit more about achievement hunter coming to an end on a f**kface break show on september 18th. some of it was stuff we've already learned from the announcement video/thread from AH themselves, but some additional information was mentioned exclusively on the f**kface stream. with rooster teeth being so great (sarcasm) at relaying info to their audience, i had to rely on a fan recording of the stream from twitter to get more context sooner, since the official recording won't be available until the 22nd at the earliest.

i'll put a full transcript of all the clips of the twitter thread under the cut, but if you want a tl;dr:

geoff's known about AH coming to an end for about 6 months (since march 2023), and that the decision to end it wasn't made lightly

he compares AH ending to when he went to quit red vs blue 15 years ago to co-create AH, somewhere between seasons 5-7, and how he continued to work on rvb until he couldn't anymore

also talks about how everyone at the company at the time (like burnie, gus, matt, and jason) were really supportive towards him, and how that led to AH lasting 15 years

he hopes that michael, trevor, alfredo, and joe get the same support he got from the audience when he made AH, and then eventually f**kface. also reassures the audience that all the content on the AH channel will stay as it is

heavily emphasizes that this decision wasn't made by the higher ups at rt or warner brothers, and wanted to nip that in the bud before the rumor went too far. notes that AH didn't fail, it just ended

talks about how there will be a couple more weeks of new achievement hunter content before they close up shop. some of the content includes the members paying an homage to past series and people at AH. it will eventually culminate into a final video that geoff's in where he gets "fucking verbose" about his feelings in relation to everything

gives a shoutout to matt, jeremy, and ray in regards to their streams on twitch, and finally ends his speech by saying that the audience should respect that the past + current AH members are continuing to do the things they love doing while being entertaining, just in their own unique ways

the full transcript:

Geoff: "The Achievement Hunter brand is coming to a close. We have decided to sunset it and to end it. And I've seen a lot of- for a very good reason- and that announcement came in tandem with another announcement, a very exciting announcement about a new brand called Dogbark. And I've seen a lot of excitement, a lot of appreciation from people, a lot of people supporting Michael and those guys [referring to Trevor, Joe, and Alfredo] going off into doing their own thing.

I've seen a lot of fear and uncertainty. I totally get and understand that; you guys are hearing this for the first time. Um, I've known about this for about six months. You know, this has been in some form of discussion or preparation for a while now. This wasn't a decision that was made lightly, uhh... but I think it's the right decision, and I hope that you'll understand and support that, and here's why:

15 years ago, I went to Burnie and Matt and Gus, and I said 'Hey, I'm losing my mind making Red vs Blue.' It was season 5 or 6, and I- I think it was 6 or 7, actually- and I was just so creatively drained and stifled. And I had such a wonderful time making Red vs Blue, but I had made it until I couldn't make it anymore. And I had this idea, and I was very passionate about this idea of this thing I wanted to try. And Burnie and Gus and Matt were so kind and supportive to give me the creative runway to launch and test Achievement Hunter out at a time when everybody- friends- everybody was telling me 'What are you doing, quitting making Red vs Blue? It's a huge hit! You're like, the #2 guy on it. You're a big part of this! Why would you leave that to do this unproven, untested thing?' And I had to! I had to follow my dream, I had to follow my passion. And like I said, Burnie and Matt and Gus and everybody else, Jason, everybody involved in Rooster Teeth at the time, were so fucking supportive and so wonderful to me in that period that 15 years later, we've had 15 years of Achievement Hunter.

We wouldn't be here on this set right now in front of all this Zimmer stuff, in front of fucking dumb pictures of Gavin and Garbage Pail Kids and Barbie and- fucking new Dallas poster, by the way. Uh, all of this has existed because they allowed me to take a chance and supported me taking that chance. And uh- I would be some kind of fucking hypocrite if I didn't provide the same level of support and genuine enthusiasm to Michael and Alfredo and Joe and Trevor as they embark on the same journey I went on 15 years ago! And this is a very- I don't want to speak for them. They didn't make this decision lightly, I guarantee you, and they will explain it in their own voice over the next few weeks as we say goodbye to Achievement Hunter and say hello to Dogbark. [actual dog barks in the background] We worked on that ahead of time.

Uhh... and so I would only ask that you give them the same level of support that the audience gave me when I tried out Achievement Hunter, this untested, unproven thing, and the same level of support you all gave us when we decided that we're going to make F**kface, an audio-only podcast recorded remotely, which is something that I never in a million years wanted to do or thought was a good idea until we did it, and found out it was simply too good, found out that it worked and it ended up becoming, I think, hopefully the best thing I've participated in. I really ju- I really just want to drive that point home. Joe and Trevor and Michael and Alfredo have spent years and years and years making content that they believe in to support and entertain you. And that's all they want to do with this new production.

Everything comes to an end. It's okay for things to end. I know it's scary and it's sad, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen, and that doesn't mean it's going away. We have 15 years of Achievement Hunter content online that you can still watch and enjoy. Hundreds of thousands of hours of content, hundreds upon hundreds of episodes of Minecraft and GTA that are still there for you to go and watch. I mean, hell, I think Emily and I are a great example of that. We've been watching a show that came out in 1978 called Dallas. It ran from 1978 to 1992, and that was 40 fucking years ago. And yet here we are enjoying it, just as if it came out yesterday. Justice for Sue Ellen, I think we can all agree, justice for Sue Ellen. So I would just say that I hope that you'll be excited about this new journey in their careers and this new opportunity for Rooster Teeth. It's sad to say goodbye to a thing, but it's not disappearing. It's still there. You can still go watch all those videos. You can still go enjoy- enjoy all that content, but you can also support them in what they're doing.

And one other little inaccuracy, or not even inaccuracy, but one thing I want to touch on- and then I'll get to breaking cards and being an idiot- is a thing that kind of bugs me, is that- I'm sure you've heard this phrase or some variation of this phrase before where it's uh, said that a lie can travel halfway across the world, while the truth is still putting its pants on, and-"

Emily: "That's kinda deep! I've never heard that before." Geoff: "You've never heard that before?" Emily: "No!"

Geoff: "Yeah, and I've seen a lot of supposition and people saying things that just aren't true. And I want to stop that right now before they travel halfway across the world. Because there is no truth to the idea that like- anytime we make a change that's controversial or a bit scary or different or new or unexpected, there's this idea that there's uh, some dude in a suit from Warner Brothers or Rooster Teeth standing just off-camera, sternly going, 'Make this decision. Follow this algorithm. We're chasing a demographic.' None of that is true. Rooster Teeth would be very happy if they continued making Achievement Hunter forever, but they weren't happy making Achievement Hunter, and they wanted to try a new thing.

They wanted to do what I did 15 years ago! They wanted to do what Ray did when he left Achievement Hunter, right? They wanted to bet on themselves and make their production. I love the work they put into- to mine, and I did my best to make it ours. But at the end of the day, I left Achievement Hunter five years ago! Uh, it would be really foolhardy and stupid and- and dickhead-ish of me to have a problem with them doing the same thing, uh, but it's also them. This is a decision that they made, that they wanted to make. It didn't come from anybody at Rooster Teeth or Warner Brothers. There was no, I don't know, this marketing department you always hear about that's telling them to make these decisions and- 'Chase the Gen Z crowd and come up- This is the name we've workshopped.' None of that's true! They came up with the name. They came up with the logo, they came up with the design, the color palette, the trailer, the content that's going to be released in a couple of weeks, that's all them! That's what they wanna do.

That is them following the same passion that I followed 15 years ago and the same passion that I followed when I created Let's Play, and the same passion that I that I followed when I created F**kface. And hopefully the same passion, the same passion that I created this with, and hopefully the same passion that I'll create the next and the next and the next thing with, and hopefully the same passion that they get to do, uh, as they continue their career. So all I'm asking for is give the new thing a chance, support it. It's a brave thing to do to walk out of the safety of Achievement Hunter into a new thing.

And also, uh, I've seen a lot of doomers that are saying like 'Ah, I called it ten years ago! I knew it was gonna fail!' It didn't fail. It ended. It was 15 fucking awesome years. And I'm going to stop talking now because I'm just going to get rambly. But I will say: There's a couple of weeks left of Achievement Hunter content coming out where they pay homage, if you will, to a lot of the videos and the shows from the past,, and the people from the past, and they have a lot of sweet things that they're going to do. And it'll culminate at the end with one last video that I am in where I get fucking verbose about my feelings about all of it. So if you want to hear more about my feelings of the 15 years of Achievement Hunter, I ask that you tune in to that last Achievement Hunter video. But I also ask that you tune into every video between now and then, because they're going to be saying goodbye to Achievement Hunter with a lot of love and respect and humor. And uh, I think that's what it deserves. And I hope that we all get to share in that together, and then, and then subscribe to Dogbark and give it a shot. [dog barks again] Thank you.

And uh, remember that all of these people that you've loved that have come and gone are still making content right now. Jack and BK, I think Jack's on vacation, but Jack and BK are over there in Inside Gaming, making content, playing video games 3, 4 hours a day, 3 or 4 days a week, playing Minecraft, playing all those old games that you loved to see us play. And Michael is making Face Jam every week. And Michael and Trevor and Alfredo and Joe are going to be making Dogbark every fucking day. And Gavin and I, we're making F**kface every day. And I'm making ANMA and I'm making So... Alright, and Ky has helped producing it all uh, behind the scenes.

Matt and Jeremy and Ray, they're streaming every fucking day of their lives, I believe. I think Jeremy's on, like, 18 days in a row right now, or something? [referring to Jeremy's uncapped subathon]. So all the people that you loved to support and who uh, entertained you throughout the years, they're still doing the thing that they love. They're just doing it in the way that they wanna do it, in the way that makes sense to them. And I just hope that you will be... respectful of that, and give them an opportunity to entertain you uh, in much the same way they entertained you last year and the year before and 5 years ago and 10 years ago. They just want to get up every day and make the best content they can make, and they're not- they're not making these decisions for any other reason than this is where their creative interests are leading them. And much like you gave me a chance 15 years ago, let's all give them a chance today. [dog barks again] That's it. I'm done. Let's open up some fucking cards."

[baladric]

mmm i love how applying for jobs properly ends up being a full-time fucking job itself

[lovevalley45]

busting my ass to finish a paper before work n my professor didn’t even remember to allow submissions on the assignment on canvas… sir what the HELL

[factcheckingmclennon]

harry nilsson quotes double feature: fact or fiction?

"Someone told me a few minutes ago they saw John walking on the street [once] wearing a sign saying – a button, rather, saying 'I Love Paul'. And this girl who told me that said she asked him, 'Why are you wearing the button that says ‘I Love Paul’?' He said, 'Because I love Paul.'" -Harry Nilsson

"I'm just like everybody else, Harry, I fell for Paul's looks." Harry Nilsson (on John)

these quotes get passed around unsourced, or wrongly sourced, constantly. so...

are these harry nilsson quotes about john lennon real?

shockingly, after getting an anon correction on the first one and then discovering myself on the second one through the world's most random search engine imaginable bc SOMETHING felt unfinished...... the final verdict for both?

...ish? the second one is sort of neutral bc it's taken a bit out of context but i'll get to that

let's get into it, because this one took me on a journey!

(and btw the sources on these were SUCH a pain in the ass to find due to lack of sourcing & wrong sourcing so i am on my hands and knees for these to get passed around w the proper sources now that they're in one place bc they're so good)

first of all, these quotes keep getting mixed up and messed around with different wording. which was my first road block on finding a proper source. second of all, they have been wrongly attributed to a) one single interview together and/or b) a rolling stone interview with nilsson. this made things aggravating. but in the end, an anon sent me the audio for the first quote and for the second one i FINALLY found someone a looong while back actually naming the book it's in & successfully found it!

made a post earlier concluding both were fake, but we just had to go a little deeper folks.

anyway, onto the good shit

who was harry nilsson? he was a friend of john's, specifically during his 1974 lost weekend era. they lived together for a while (along with others, including ringo!) and were pretty close.

"because i love paul"

this one gets misquoted the Most honestly like you'll find a bunch of different variations of it, but you can find it in a 1984 interview with geoffrey giuliano as such:

GIULIANO: Did he miss the Beatles? Was he mournful about what happened, over the, you know—? HARRY: Someone told me a few minutes ago they saw John walking on the street [once] wearing a sign saying – a button, rather, saying ‘I Love Paul’. And this girl who told me that said she asked him, “Why are you wearing the button that says ‘I Love Paul’?” He said, “Because I love Paul.” [laughs]  

(source) (and again, it's a tumblr blog, but given that it's audio, i'm marking it trustworthy. i just uploaded it to archive.org in case it ever gets deleted)

"i fell for paul's looks"

this one. this one was a goddamn journey and a half. this sent me on several rabbit holes and dead ends. the author of the last source said "nope it's definitely not from the tapes i found this audio from or i would've posted it too" and couldn't find the source either. no one had a source. until finally i found someone on a forum saying it was in the ballad of john and yoko published by rolling stone in 1984, in an essay titled "harry remembers" and thank christ it was on archive.org

so here's the full quote, found on page 236

"He spoke the way James Joyce wrote. And to me he was the Beatles. He was always the spark. In a late wee-hours-of-the-morning talk, he once told me: 'I'm just like everybody else, Harry. I fell for Paul's looks. George knew more chords, so he was in. And Ringo, he's just Ringo.'"

(source)

so this one gets a... true/neutral rating from me. why neutral? well, the "i fell for paul's looks" part is certainly there. but in the full context, he's talking about why he wanted each member in the beatles. basically, paul was the pretty face. however, he did say that verbatim and it is incredibly fucking gay imo. like specifically the "i fell for" wording is craaaaazy to me. but i do think the full context should be included if we're talking about it, as well as the actual source.

so no, they were not indeed both from the same interview. one isn't even FROM an interview. but they are both true! which is great bc i love both of these quotes and truly thought they were fake! pleasantly surprised on this one

now, take these with a grain of salt. the first quote is a third-hand source. it's nilsson recounting what some random fan told him john had done YEARS prior. the second one is a second-hand source and nilsson and john were like pretty infamous for getting drunk/high together. but the quotes themselves? certainly exist from harry nilsson, and that's the question. believe them if you want to, or leave them! i'm certainly taking them lmao

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

every once in a while, i have an urge to sit down and write an entire essay about The Purge franchise, specifically through the frame of reactions from people who either have not watched the movies or watched them while pissing on the poor.

because oh my fucking god do those reactions send me into a violent tailspin of irrational anger.

"the purge doesn't make logistical sense"

okay so have you ever heard of fiction? the train in snowpiercer doesnt make logistical sense either. it doesnt have to because its a vehicle in which to tell a story.

"people wouldnt just commit violent crimes because its legal now."

no they wouldnt. do you know that the first movie takes place on the 6th purge? do you know that story about frogs and boiling water?

"no one would ever agree to this. politicians couldnt implement this."

yeah so the fourth movie - The First Purge - is actually a prequel that explains how and why it got implemented.

see as a result of a general economic crisis, a new political party called the NFFA (new founding fathers of america) came to power, and two years into their political term, they ran "an experiment" and that experiment was the purge. the first purge took place on staten island; residents were offered $5000 to participate which comprised staying on staten island and letting the government put a tracking chip in your arm. there was also the opportunity of making more money if they "participated further."

people didnt all agree with this. thats a whole ass thing in the movie and the protagonist literally leads protests against it. it is a controversial thing. the NFFA literally have a sociologist as the face of it, one who talks to news reporters and assures people she and the experiment are apolitical.

the experiment is also fucking rigged. the government really send in roves of neo-nazis to kill citizens as a way of showing how "successful" the experiment is. it was never an experiment.

"but why would people believe that the purge is a good policy?

have you ever heard of propaganda?

throughout the films, there are constant displays of the propaganda the NFFA use to keep the citizens believing in the purge.

the NFFA are constantly lying to the citizens about the actual truth about the country. they often talk about how the stock market is doing great as evidence of a stable economy. there are fake experts in white lab coats lying to you about the purge being a good idea.

these movies are not subtle. they tell you outright that the government is lying to the people.

jesus fucking christ, in the third movie, part of the plot is the fact that in response to corruption being revealed, people are turning against the purge and protesting. dante bishop is a goddamn anti-purge activist.

"crime rate year round wouldnt go down because of the purge, that doesnt make sense "

yeah no shit sherlock. thats literally a defining theme in the entireass franchise. the government is lying. they actually use the purge as population control because theyre fascists.

in the first movie, the NFFA claim the country is basically crime-free and that the unemployment rate is 1%. do you think james demonaco wrote that with the intention of you believing it to be true? have you considered that maybe you were meant to be like huh, thats suspicious?

the first movie is the least overtly political, but one of the defining themes is in regards to the performative nature of the purge and the way it is mythologised.

"all crime is legal. so what, can i commit tax fraud?"

the rules of the purge are made up of. the entire idea is performative. the NFFA are not beholden to these rules; if it benefits them (or if not doing so poses risk to them), they will arrest you for "crimes" you committed during the purge.

in the third movie, The Purge: Election Year, they change the rules because of the risk charlie roan poses to them. roan is a senator running for president on an explicitly anti-purge platform and there is a very good chance that she will win the election, so they revoke the immunity (its still illegal to murder them) granted to government officials during the purge because they plan to kill her.

the NFFA do not care what citizens do during the purge, as long as it is not threatening to them.

"how would they even know if you killed someone an hour after the purge ended?"

they wouldnt. they also wouldnt care.

see above.

"the purge is stupid. people arent inherently violent."

no. no theyre not. thats the fucking point of these films.

they are not subtle films. they come with a free portable toilet so you can watch them without pissing on the poor.

what did you think the plots of these movies were? if the movies were not directly engaging with the concept of the purge and what it actually means, what the fuck do you think the movies are about? do you think the movies are just 90 minutes of indiscriminate violence?

[physalian]

#Writer Problems

Meet the 15th character in this series with a name that starts with A! No one will notice hahaha

Going back and deleting the sighs to shake things up a bit because there’s 120 in the manuscript

*checks notes* whoops you died already, Side Character, my bad

*one paragraph* Perfect. Amazing. Poetic. Profound. *the next paragraph* what is words do?

Knocking out a 6k word chapter in an hour/Spending a week on a single transition

*slaps down a shiny new character with zero plan* You don’t know anything about them and neither do I, let’s discover them together

Realistically, there’s gotta be at least one casualty from this fantasy battle so…. *rolls dice* no not you. *rolls dice again* yep. That’ll do. Sorry, pal.

Is this badass or stupid?

Is this hot or cringey?

*checks notes* damn it, plot hole.

Upon this most recent round of edits, you, Cool Side Character, no longer made the cut. Mayhaps you’ll be recycled later.

*checks notes* damn it, I fixed that plot hole by opening another plot hole.

Jesus christ I wrote ‘just’ 308 times across 120k words?

That is definitely not how you spell that

*dreams about my characters in full HD technicolor* awwww yeah, where’s the popcorn? *cannot replicate how cool it was in actual words*

Unes- Unnecs- Unessis- Unnessessarily- Unnecessarily fuck

Do I go with the British grey or the American gray?

*cries* this epic was supposed to be a novella

Well these two were supposed to be having an argument here. But making out is fine. I’d like to see where this goes.

Oops I forgot the straights, here that nameless dude over there isn't confirmed gay, so you can headcanon that he's straight if you want

Oops I forgot that marriage exists uhhh yeah their other parents are all dead or deadbeats

Fuck love triangles here’s a double-helix dodecahedron.

One day my fandom will write so much smut about this guy and I am here for it cause I sure ain’t doing it myself

Oops I forgot people with green eyes exist but brown eyes? I got 20

*describing the writing process* It was the best of times, it was the worst of times it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.

I. Hate. Chapter. Titles.

Is this profound or pretentious?

*crafts an absolutely banger metaphor* I hope someone notices this. I put a lot of work into it

I didn’t spend 6 months perfecting this masterpiece for you to sass that the curtains are just blue. I’ll write the goddamn essay myself about all the depth behind my color choices, sir.

Picture that Spongebob dehydrated in Sandy’s treehouse meme ‘cause that’s me on round 12 of edits

I gotta be up for work in 4 hours but this monologue is more important

*distills 30 pages of worldbuilding notes into 2 paragraphs of a fluff scene* somebody will appreciate this, won’t they?

*listening to my book playlist* one day when this is adapted I hope this artist is still alive to compose the main theme cause this shit fucks

*cries* this trilogy was supposed to be just one book

If I turn this plot hole into a character flaw, they become the problem while I remain god

*looting themes, monologues, character names, and archetypes off the corpses of my dead WIPs* You won’t miss them anyway.

While it also immortalizes this person’s dickish behavior, yes, I will, in fact, write a whole character’s backstory as a middle-finger to this one bitch from 10 years ago.

*steps back to gaze at all the suffering done unto my deuteragonist* but it was worth it, wasn’t it?

*staring down yet another loathsome action set piece* whyyyyy do I do this to myself?

Nobody’ll notice my author insert if I dice them up and divvy them out in bits to my entire cast, right? Right? It’s like a shell game of what’s author and what’s fiction

These two are going to be a problematic ship one day and I will burn that bridge when I get there

*2am and I am scouring the internet for that one piece of a fort’s defenses because not remembering is the current root of my insomnia*

*Nudging my favorite character who isn’t the protagonist out onto stage* golly I hope the readers like him

Waiting. For. Editors. Takes. So. Long.

Holy butts accidental motif and deep symbolism fucks. I am so pretending I did that on purpose.

To subtext or not to subtext? Nah, to subtext. *laughs maniacally*

Trying to ride that line between so obvious it’s painful but also juuust enough foreshadowing so you slap yourself for not seeing it sooner

TIL that I have been using that word completely wrong for years. How quaint.

No you’re derivative schlock. I’m crowd surfing the books that came before and loving every second of it.

Damn I wasted a really good name on this throwaway character

*checks notes* wait, who's taller? Where does your hair part? Are you left or right-handed?

*musing over a character slated for death* damn, I really like you. Since I am in fact god, you shall live another day. *rewerites the entire finale*

God I hope people like this story

[thatdeadaquarius]

About language brainrot. Imagine writer creator reader who finally learns how to write in Teyvat's weird symbols and they want to publish their book. They decided to do it anonymously to avoid the "aaaaaah our creator wrote the holy scripture" sort of situation. Except it didn't work. The reader's style is too different from the rest of the world, so even if they tried to simulate the flowery speech it wasn't effective.

Another thing. Reader who decided to read some local books to practice their reading. They asked for something simple and similar to their speech. But the only books merely similar to it are 2000 and more years old. It's funny how the older text is the more you can understand it. On this note. If reader write something i feel like it would be hard to understand for Teyvat's people.

Imagine a reader who is autistic or has any other NDs imparing their communication skills. They practically trained themselves to say sertain phrases in sertain situation. But it doesn't work in Teyvat. And everything just stacks at each other. Difference in speech, being a God (so people react weirdly to you), bad communication skills, not understanding nonverbal cues and so on. There's gonna be a lot of misunderstanding. I imagine how followers would walk on the eggshells not to upset and angry their God and reader who does the same not to say something people will get wrong. Again.

Reader who regained all their memories of creating Teyvat, they're super powerful and stuff. But they still struggle with the modern language. Because all the memories are like millions years old.

✨️NEXYLAZA UR SO FUCKING SMART AND CREATIVE✨️ UR BRAIN>>>>>> EVERYTHING

GIF Akashi (black hair) is all the people who read the Sagau/Isekai Genshin tag and Bokuto (silver) is STILL ME RANTING ABOUT LANGUAGE IN TEYVAT LMAO

They cant escape me, sorry people who just wanted to read SAGAU normal things, im filling up the tag💀

I HAD OTHER ASKS BEFORE THIS ONE AND AS I GOT THRU EM I WAS "OMMGGGG WE'RE GETTIN CLOSER TO NEXY'SSSS ASSSKKKK EEEEEEE"

YOU ARE A GODDAMN GENIUS

DHALALWKDHDHS

ME ABOUT THIS ASK:

(^ lol biblically accurate deadaquarius)

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGINNNN

BRAINROTTING OVER UR ENTIRE ASK!!

♡

Also, its getting kinda old now, so here is the blunt language v. Teyvat's flowery language post for reference! :)

Hhhhhhhhhhh

IF U WRITE STUFF

AND UR IN WORDY TEYVAT LAND

AINT NO WAY,👏

U COULD EVEN, 👏👏

GET CLOSE👏👏👏

TO THESE BITCHES SPEECH👏👏👏👏

◇

Like,, imagine right now if i told you to write me 4 pages of an essay in entirely early 18th century vernacular.

(For reference: when the story Pride & Prejudice takes place)

... like??

Bitch aint no way u can do that and actually show that to a historian or an actual living person from that time period

and them actually say "wow! An excellently worded 18th century essay!"

💀.

◇

So tying into that whole, "the only simple texts are like literal cunnieform clay tablets or sm shit"

Your writing to them just sounds like if a scribe just copied off what one of those tablets said just onto paper HAHA

And like, if u try and dress it up, it just ends up sounding like its from a slightly later time period

Like if ur casual writing sounds like 1 million years ago, u being flowery sounds like 8-7 thousand years ago u cant win LMAO

◇

Omg ur trying to go to that-

wait whats it called,,fuck i dont know Sumeru good enough yet

The.. HOUSE OF DAENA GOT IT

Yeah so ur thinking "Oh what better way to learn a dialect?/vernacular than reading books by them!"

And u basically snatch Alhaitham at the soonest possible chance to take you there

(Bc when i went in, it was just random lore books everywhere so)

Needless to say you have no clue how this place is organized, so u convince him to direct you to books u can easily read first

Like as close to your speech as possible!! U tell him :)

.

..

...lol

It literally takes like 3 hours to get something readable LMAO

Bc when the poor feeble scribe initially brought you smth he thought was pretty old and close to ur speech, like just first thought,

... It sounded like it was from the middle of the 18th century to you lol

So, with a "hmm" and a squint at the dusty book you'd already given up on

Alhaitham slowly went around the library making a stack of books, dropped them off in front of you... not a single sentence.

...then he made a stack of scrolls...

..nope..

...a stack of stone tablets...

.....getting closer?? it was really weird seeing Shakespearean language carved into stone....

...and then, with a conversation to a second library secretary deeper in the library, past a caged area of shelves to protect them...

...he escorts you behind the restricted section towards the back filled with glass display cases.

(Several of which contain the most ancient looking sets of artifacts you've ever seen)

...Finally, u arrive at a long glass case of several clay tablets.

Half of which sound like they're from the 1910s-20s, and the other, even older half, sounding straight out of the 2000s..

..

....

......

...Good god.

(Good..you??)

These crazy speaking bastard-previously-video-game-characters were right.

...

You are suddenly, viscerally hit with the image of Zhongli's idle, "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember, but where are those who share the memory?" 💀

◇

Alhaitham side eyes you,, (he looks,, very interested, yet also kinda concerned??? HIM, CONCERNED????!!!)

"Ahem, the texts before thy Greatest Lord art the eldest- well, perhaps, more appropriately, the eldest and most intact, pieces of written language known to our humankind."

...

....aYOO MAN 😭😭

...Ur just staring at these half cracked, baked clay tablet thingys, full of slang from like 2003-

Alhaitham coughs.

"Uh, thanks. ...Sorry about all the.. trouble with this..."

BRO HOW OLD DOES HE THINK U ARE NOW-

"This task assigned to mine own person was of no trouble to my mind or spirit, Greatest Lord, fret not about it any longer."

And with a sort of shell-shocked atmosphere surrounding both of you, Alhaitham walks off to check out some other restricted books, hovering nearby yet also trying to give u space LOL

Top 10 cursed images: Seeing "Chillax, bro, dude, and weeb" carved into ancient clay tablets that look like they would be part of the Egyptian exhibit back in ur world 💀

◇

You eventually just kind of end up writing a couple pages after studying the writings, going younger and younger (nothing has ever made u feel more powerful...yet also more old..)

You stretch, just as Alhaitham finally has made his own little stack of creaky old books

He seems very curious to read what u wrote, peaking a glance over the top of his book every so often (lol nerd, cute nerd... but NERDDD)

You just offer the academic lunatic what he wants 🙄

"Haha, wanna take a look? Some drafts are... closer than others..."

The scribe immediately puts his book down, not even saving his page,

"I would be honored, Greatest Lord."

Is he excited?? 💀 omfg

U very slowly hand ur most recent practice pages over, he curls his hand under his chin "hmm" ing

...Alhaitham shakes his head

"My..deepest apologizes My Creator, but this still seems, at the earliest, from when papyrus was invented, and not yet even into scrolls..."

OK BUT ALHAITHAM WOULD GENUINELY GIVE NO FUCKS ABT CRITIQING YOU, HE MAY BE MORE POLITE ABT IT BUT EVEN IF U DID MAKE THE WORLD HES GOING FOR IT

KAVEH HAS A HEART ATTACK BC HIS ROOMMATE GOT ONTO GOD LMAO

U let ur head plop on ur pile of papers, srry babe youll never be as fancy as Mr. Darcy 😕

And as ur resting there, contemplating just walking out and finding smth to eat instead- same

Alhaitham picks up another draft.

Except it's your first attempt.

As in, you didn't even try, first attempt.

You just made some bullet point notes or some Bs, in ur regular. modern. language.

Alhaitham knocks his chair over standing up so fast-

(HE GETS SHUSHED BY THE RESTRICTED LIBRARIAN LOL, also another person unafraid to scold God lol)

...he says its a perfect example of the oldest records they've found of writing on the continent, most of which they haven't even translated yet

He asks u to teach him how to read this/speak like this lol

♧

(^^^not my best work but hope yall got smth outta it💀)

I WAS LITERALLY GONNA MAKE A WHOLE POST ON THE NEURODIVERGENT EXPERIENCE OF BEING A GOD IN TEYVAT

ESPECIALLY OF THE LANGUAGE BARRIER VARIETY!!!

THERES JUST

ACK

aCK HDHAKD

SO MUCH

TO SAY

!!!

AHHHHH

OK BUT LIKE

IF WE ACTUALLY TOOK THIS TO THE EXTREME IM IMPLYING IT WOULD BE

LIKE TEYVAT SPEAKS SEVERAL DECADES BEHIND U- MAYBE EVEN ACTUALLY

CLOSE TO PRIDE AND PREJUDICE TIMES SPEECH

THEY WOULD LITERALLY BARELY COMPHREHEND YOU

IMAGINE TRYING TO TALK TO MR. DARCY 😭

THATS LITERALLY ALL OF TEYVAT

JUST

???¿¿?????!!! <- THEM ALL THE TIME

ESP IF UR NEURODIVERGENT

I THINK IT WOULD BE EVEN MORE PROOF FOR THEM TO THINK UR GOD

BC UR BEHAVIOR WOULD BE "OFF" TO THEIR NEUROTYPICAL ASSES,

YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS,

LIKE UR MASKING MAYBE BUT

U CANT KEEP THAT SHIT UP ALL THE TIME-

ESP IN CRAZY ISEKAI CIRCUMSTANCES

AND LIKE-

(ok ill tone it down before i also get shushed)

U used to be a player!!

Which would maybe mean u got rlly comfy playing Genshin all the time!

...like i know im kinda stimming when im gaming (and my natural stim is rocking so yeah no way they wouldnt notice that 💀)

So, since u may be still yknow unconsciously wanting to be comfy (esp around ur mains/team/favs)

U probably have stimmed a little around them, which, not that neurotypicals dont stim, but like

They would notice after awhile

And esp people like Alhaitham, Zhongli, Ningguang, Xiao, Ei, Aether/Lumine, Kaeya, Diluc, Kazuha, Heizou, Shenhe, Kokomi, Sara, Albedo, Dainsleif- !! GASP- !! <- my bbygirl omg i forgot abt u before now im so sorry </3

(once again i have not checked a character list, forgive my sins my readers)

^^^ Are like pretty focused on you/observant, so they'd eventually pick up on it first probably

..

...

....which allsssooo means they're like, collecting all ur neurodivergent thingys lol to compile as EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU AS TO WHY THEY KNOW UR THE CREATOR LMAO

◇

Honestly the biggest factor against u is definitely social interaction,, srry love :/

(if it helps, its bc i know itd be my downfall too thats why thats there ^ 😔)

Mostly bc i have this idea/theory? obervation? that when I especially met Adepti for the first time

Esp ones that werent as close to human society for as long as some others (like think Xiao vs. Ganyu)

And for literally every other non-human people we've met so far in Genshin-

They kinda- they kinda, radiate neurodivergent energy??

Like, they're not adherring to social norms, and not in like a bad way,

But its still rlly obvious (i mean also its probably exaggerated for us as an audience) that theyre not human pretty quickly

coughzhonglicough

COUGHVENTICOUGH-

oh geez wow excuse me, cold weather must be gettin to me- ahem hem-

Anyway, like what Nexy said in the ask,

...

...Yall are all just tiptoing around each other 😭😭

Bc these ppl arent from Earth countries,

All their behavior is weird to you 😭

U dont know how to mask with them yet 😭😭

THE UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF MISCOMMUNICATION THAT HAPPENS ALREADY WHEN UR NEUROSPICY VS. NEUROBLAND PPL

IS LIKE, ALMOST WORSE??

Bc they cant even understand ur phrasing bc its so simple 😭😭😭

◇

Tldr: "Being Neurodivergent means ur a god, confirmed." - says all of Teyvat's denizens

◇

NEXYLAZA.

MY BELOVED.

I AM IN LOVE WITH UR BRAIN.

IF I COULD GIVE IT A HUG I WOULD🫂✨️👏👏👏👏

BC I WAS ALREADY LIKE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND LIKE-

*rubs my little rat gremlin hands together*

"hmHmHMMMM BuT wHaT iF mAYbE yOU reMeMbeREd cReATinG TeyVAT, hmHMHMMMMM"

AND FOR VERBALIZING IT WITHIN BLUNT LANGUAGE AU- !!!!!!!

(one of my favs, if u cant tell)

I would (platonically) kiss you right now dude.

Instead I give this:

♡ ily

And also, I AM GOING TO MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THIS-

MAYBE EVEN A FANFIC, OR ONE SHOT AHDHAKFHSKLAAL-

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY BELOVED PARTNER IN CRIME <333

PSPSPSPSsppspspspssss Last Time! CLOSES TOMORROW @1pm CST: VOTE on my 100+ followers celebration POLL :)

Tell me what u wanna see me write about! PSPSPSPSpspspspssss

(U can vote even if ur new! :] )

THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING THIS ASK

THIS IS A TREASURE OF MINE NOW

GONNA HIDE IT IN MY LITTLE CAVE OF SCREENSHOTTED SAGAU POSTS <333 hehehehehehehehehehe

THIS IS LIKE PT2 TO MY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE POST AHHHHH

NEXY BIG BRAIN ILYSM <3

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza lol ur own ask im a menace sorry

[grlbutnotwood]

good morning children I have come to feed you (I wrote destiel in kill your darlings setting ficlet you're welcome)

"...Since I started this report, we recieved the news from London, saying the German high command denied that great enemy formations approached the coast of..."

Castiel threw a pen at the radio. It did not shut the hell up.

Oh well.

It was childish, of course. Throwing things around, huffing in a tantrum, his only saving grace - the fact that no one saw him at the moment. Who gave a shit?

He focused back on the papers. Two stacks, ungraded on the left, graded on the right. The stack on the left was significantly bigger, despite the fact that Castiel's been sitting behind his desk for three hours.

His office wasn't much to look at. White walls, bookshelves with everything expected of him - Shakespeare, Shelley, Fitzgerald, pictures of his family alive and dead and missing somewhere on the front lines, the only plant that was able to thrive with the feeble light available and less than frequent wandering that was the consequence of Castiel's wandering mind. A large desk, dark wood and the air of pretentiousness in the carving, took up most of the space, two chairs across from Castiel's for the students to sit in rigidly as they sort out whatever business he needed to deal with.

A blazer was thrown over one of the chairs. Castiel hadn't dared to touch it.

The radio on the windowsill, almost lost among the clutter of empty coffee mugs, kept chattering - and as the rain picked up, drumming on the window, he could finally drown out the goddamned news reports. The branches of the oak tree banged on the glass, the poor thing, almost completely devoid of leaves by the end of October.

It was past midnight, he knew for sure. He didn't look up at the watch mounted on the wall, not that he would see anything as the only source of light was Castiel's lamp, pouring bright golden spot on the paper work in front of him and nothing else.

The world was ending outside, in the way it does practically every other week in a way that was rather comforting. A cycle withering and dying before the next one, coming full circle. The clock kept ticking away, the smell of cold sickly-sweet coffee suspended in the air.

He read through another essay, contemplating getting another coffee or perhaps falling asleep right then and there, when the door creaked.

Castiel shouldn't have heard it over the sounds of rain and thunderstorm. And yet, he did.

Of course he did.

"Hey there, professor," a cheeky smile and golden skin, rumpled white button-up and the ever-present mirth in his voice. Dirty boots of a workman rather than fashionable oxfords under the edges of his slacks. Leather satchel worn out and falling apart even more so than Castiel.

Warm skin, delicately dotted with freckles - always so, so warm. Strong callused hands, firm thighs underneath the confining uniform, perfect teeth with those pointed incisors digging right into Castiel's skin, his lips-

"Mr Winchester," he breathed out before carefully putting the pen in his hand down. (The one he threw at the radio was temporarily lost and forgotten). To an outsider he might seem relaxed, composed.

But Dean learned to read him the same way Castiel taught him to analyze William Blake's poems. He recognized the tension in his arms, a glint of alarm in the eyes behind thick rimmed glasses. An animal preparing to pounce, waiting out its prey.

Dean's breath stuck in his throat even as he moved into the study, closing the door behind himself.

Dear God but how he wanted to be torn apart.

"So it's Mr Winchester now," his voice was low, teasing. Yet he moved slowly across the room, a practiced dance routine as he waited for his partner to make a move. "Last time we were alone like this I was-"

"What do you want," Castiel cut him off, not a hint of question of his voice but rather a command. A shiver ran through Dean. He stopped just across from his professor, between them - just a table and the game. Their game. It boils down to just a question of who was going to fold quicker.

Usually, the game had the same outcome. They had yet to grow tired of it, if ever.

This was bad, wasn't it? But how bad could it be if it never harmed anyone? They didn't know that it was just a question of time.

They didn't know they wouldn't be the ones getting hurt. Worse than hurt.

("Mr Winchester, we'd like to ask you about your whereabouts as of the 16th of November. We're very sorry...")

"Well, I wanted to get my blazer back, for one," Dean said with a shrug of his shoulder, quite reasonably to someone who didn't see the thrill of a gambler with a deck of cards on his face.

Dean's hand fell on the back of the chair, over the said blazer, the other falling on the strap of the satchel.

Castiel watched, laser-focused on every movement of the younger man, still as a statue, his face - harsh outlines in the scarce light of the lamp between them.

Inevitably, not so much later, he'd lose his composure. He would grab what was his and he would have him. The papers would unfortunately be discarded all over the floor or otherwise crumpled underneath the bodies, skin, sweat, fuck yeah more come on Cas-

The table creaks rather loudly, obscenely. It's good that Dean had the foresight to lock the door.

[theconstantsidekick]

Randy's Donuts In A Suit Of Armor

Pairings: Tony Stark x Stark!Reader (siblings), Natasha Romanoff x Stark!Reader (little bit of flirting)

Genre: A bickering fluffy look back at the good times.

Summary:  Tony just wanted a goddamn donut after wrecking the shit out of his birthday party by being an asshole. He tried to throw himself a donut-themed pitty party but the universe is never that kind.

(These scenes incorporate y/n, codename—Static, into the pre-existing story as a character without making drastic changes to the plot or mythos. All the major plot points from the MCU remain in place with the addition of the reader as Static, who is not only a Stark but also enhanced. Whatever events from the canon aren’t mentioned, take place without much change.)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Death, Hints of Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Past Trauma.

a/n: dedicated to my dear reader @third-broparcelicito who wrote a whole-ass essay for me which kept me going through a rough time. Thank you so much.

sidenote: I just missed Tony a lot, ok?

Meet Natalie Rushman (previous part) | Series Masterlist | The Avengers (Ft. Static) | Age of Ultron (Static Origin Story) | Static Verse Masterlist  | Iron Man 1 (ft. Static) | Bucky Barnes, the Boyfriend

“Sir!  I’m gonna have to ask you to exit the donut.”

And man if that doesn’t throw Tony for a spin, cause when he looks down on the source of the voice, there stands a man in an all-black ensemble with a fucking eye-patch. If you don’t know where this is headed, in some ways Tony’s fucking jealous of you.

Reluctantly, he makes his way down and into Randy’s Donuts.

Seated opposite Fury in a booth that feels all too suffocating in his fucking suit made of gold-titanium alloy, with a coffee that was brewed at least two days ago sitting in front of him, and a giant-green-monster-who-tore-up-Harlem sized hangover crushing his head, he makes his displeasure at the situation known. “I told you I don’t wanna join your super-secret boy band.”

“No, no, no. See, I remember, you do everything yourself. How’s that working out for you?” Fury challenges.

“It’s… It’s… It’s…” Does it really look like he’s in the mood for a challenge? So, he deflects. “I’m sorry. I don’t wanna get off on the wrong foot. Do I look at the patch or the eye?” Lowering his sunglasses, he adds, “Honestly, I’m a bit hungover. I’m not sure if you’re real or if I’m having—”

Leaning in, Fury replies, “I am very real. I’m the realest person you’re ever gonna meet.”

Well, fuck, he thinks.

“Just my luck.” He looks over at the counter, “Where’s the staff here?”

The movement gives a full on show of his… situation? Yeah. Situation, let’s go with that. Fury gets a view of the situation he has at hand.

Fury’s hand comes flying to his neck, where he presumes his situation has become evidently concerning because then Fury says, “That’s not looking so good.”

“I’ve been worse.” He’s lying… kind of. The only thing he’s seen worse than this was back in the cave, which as is infamously known, not the best so, yeah. He’s kinda lying.

Anyway, what Tony sees next makes him want to spit his coffee out. Only thing stopping him is the fact that he might spit it on Fury and he doesn’t really wanna die in Rusty’s Donuts, hungover and shamed. He’d rather let the palladium poisoning take him out.

 “We’ve secured the perimeter but I don’t think we should hold it for too much longer.”

Well, fuck times two.

Looking over the top of his glasses in complete and utter disbelief, trying and failing awfully to contain his shock at this absolutely, “Huh,” he says. “You’re… fired.”

“That’s not up to you,” Replies Natalie—who is definitely not Natalie, from Legal, cause she’s wearing a full on S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent bodysuit and currently in the process of taking a seat next to Fury.

“Tony, I want you to meet Agent Romanoff,” Fury introduces her with what seems like giddy excitement? Who even knows. He’s a fucking spy, Tony trusts nothing about him. Fuck Tony thinks maybe he doesn’t trust anyone anymore, especially since Natalie Rushman is actually Agent Romanoff, who says the perimeter is secure.

“Hi,” Tony replies, while facepalming in some more shame.

“I’m a S.H.I.E.L.D. shadow. Once we were informed that you’re ill, I was tasked to you by Director Fury,” Natalie, fuck! No. Not Natalie. Agent Romanoff explains.

“I suggest you apologize,” Tony says looking her dead in the eyes.

“I agree, Nat,” Comes another voice, and like, honestly? At this point he’s DYING to die at the hands of the palladium cause living has brought him no joy whatsoever. Not when his sister is just… everywhere. “You deceived me,” She says as she slides in to sit next to Tony. “You made me fall in love. I was going to marry you. We were going to have two adorable little children and live a long happy life as that weird family at the end of the most suburban lane with the lesbian moms and their adopted asian babies. You really should apologize.” She steals his coffee and takes a sip, stopping only for a second to make a face of pure disgust. “You broke my heart. Oh and, the perimeter is very much not secure… The north exit? Wesley I think his name was? Yeah, he’s down.”

“How did you—” Natali—fuck. Not Natalie is about to ask something that Y/n can very obviously not answer honestly, so he cuts in.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I wanted a donut,” Y/n replies easily, like it’s the most boring thing in the world.

“You wanted a donut?” Huh?

“It’s a Pavlovian response; whenever I feel a deep, profound sense of disappointment I crave a donut, because you give me a fucking ‘apology donut’ everytime you disappoint me… which is really often.” She says it with air quotes and all.

“I don’t do it that often,” Tony tries to defend.

“You do it often enough for me to develop a fucking Pavlovian reponse to it, don’t you?”

“You’re making shit up, there is no chance in hell that I do it that often. I’m the pinnacle of siblinghood. I’m absolutely the best brother anyone could ask for, ever, and you know it,” He argues because well, he is. 

“A pinnacle?” She scoffs. “The only thing you’re the pinnacle of is being a self-destructive asshole.”

And what kinda shit is that to say to your beloved brother? Honestly, that’s just disrespectful if you ask him.

“Guess who I learned it from,” He throws back… like a self-destructive asshole.

“Hey, hey, HEY!” Fury shouts as if he’s trying to quiet the two bickering children. Which, yeah, he might as well be doing just that. “I’m not here to take part in your bullshit. I’m here, cause you’ve been very busy. You made your girl your CEO, donated half your shares to your sister, you’re giving away all your stuff. You let your friend fly away with your suit. Now, if I didn’t know better—”

“You don’t know better,” Tony cuts him off. “I didn’t give it to him. He took it.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Fury exclaims in the most mocking tone known to mankind. “He took it? You’re Iron Man and he just took it? The little brother walked in there, kicked your ass and took your suit?” He turns to Nata—Agent Romanoff (fuck!), adding, “Is that possible?”

Ever so slyly, she replies, “Well, according to Mr Stark’s database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorized usage.” She looks right at him, with a challenge in her eyes that unsettles Tony… this might just be the start of a beautiful friendship.

“What do you want from me?” He asks. Cause, come on. He’s doing the best that he can, given the cards that have been dealt.

“I don’t want anything from you—” He shrugs, almost reassessing his statement and deciding to roll with it. “Mostly nothing. You should be asking her instead.” He points to Y/n, meanwhile Nat—(motherfucker!) Agent Romanoff gets up and walks out. “She’s the one who called us in.” 

“YOU DID WHAT?” Tony’s about to blow his fucking gasket. 

But Y/n is calmer than ever, which if you know her is the most normal thing for her. “You’ve been behaving exactly the way you did when you got chicken-pox and thought you were going to die.” She turns to face him. “You’re exacerbating the problem by scratching away at the poxes like there is no tomorrow meanwhile giving away all your toys to people you love and leaving goodbye notes.” He almost forgot about that one, fuck. “I hate to break it to you, but Howard might have returned your G.I. Joe action figure, but Rhodey sure as shit not giving the suit back.” He remembers that. He had to beg Dad to give the toy back. Howard had only given it back because he’d made mom intervene. 

She shakes her head with a sort of disappointment then. “I don’t even want to think about how concerning it is that your self-destructive patterns haven’t changed a bit since you were four fucking years old.”

Before he can respond, Fury cuts in, “You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe. I have bigger problems than you in the southwest region to deal with.” What happens next, Tony has no time to register. There’s barely a second long pause before Fury looks up and commands, “Hit him.”

Suddenly there’s something being injected into his neck and his body is almost on fire from it. “Oh, God, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it?” Fidgeting with his hands around the neck he looks up at Nata—goddamn it! He looks up at Agent Romanoff who holds the now empty injection in her hands, he says, “Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds” He looks back at Fury,  “What did she just do to me?”

“What did we just do for you,” He corrects. “That’s lithium dioxide. It’s gonna take the edge off. We’re trying to get you back to work.”

“Give me a couple of boxes of that. I’ll be right as rain,” Tony says.

“It’s not a cure, it just abates the symptoms,” Agent Romanoff explains.

“Doesn’t look like it’s gonna be an easy fix,” Fury comments.

And you know what? He’s been ambushed twice in this conversation by people he thought he knew. And that’s not even counting the random injection of a so-called cure into him. So yeah, he’s a little short on patience. “Trust me, I know,” He says, with enough distaste that it makes Fury lean back. “I’m good at this stuff. I’ve been looking for a suitable replacement for palladium. I’ve tried every combination, every permutation of every known element.”

Fury leans back in, looks him in the eyes and says, “Well, I’m here to tell you, you haven’t tried them all.”

That stumps him for a second. Because, well you see, Tony’s been convinced he’s dying of this thing, this thing in his chest that while being absolutely foreign is an integral part of him now. He’s dying of the thing that he made to save himself and that’s been consuming his every waking (and most of his sleeping) hour. He had prepared himself for the worst, ready to face the bitter end, rotting from the inside out. It was a fitting way to go, he’d thought. The rot outside of him will have matched his insides. But that was his hubris. 

How could he have thought he could decide to give up on his own life, as if he didn’t share it with someone. That too with someone who was just a little bit more stubborn than him.

Suddenly, “All that remains is the matter of your signature,” Na—Agent fucking Romanoff says from next to them as she places a document in front of Y/n. “Just sign here and here, and we’re good to go.”

The tone of the room changes in an instant. He has seldom seen his sister uncomfortable, so you best believe he senses the change coming from miles away.

“Signature for what? What the hell is this?” Tony asks, completely confounded.

Y/n shifts uncomfortably in her seat, “I gave you my word, we shook hands—that should be more than enough. I don’t do documentation. You know that,” she says looking at Fury.

“You don’t do digital documentation,” He pushes the papers closer to her. “This is analog.”

Tony’s had enough.

“What the fuck are these for?” He asks, loudly.

“Integration of Y/n Stark as a S.H.I.E.L.D. Liaison,” Agent Romanoff replies easily.

He turns to his sister. “Ah. Of course, I’m the self-saboteur in the family. The only one.”

“Tony—”

He’s not in the mood to listen to her bullshit. “What the actual fuck, Y/n? Have you fucking lost your mind? You want to be a fucking liaison for S.H.E.I.L.D?”

“Are these rhetorical questions or are you hoping for a response?” The nonchalance in her attitude pisses him off even more.

“Where is all this attitude coming from, young lady? You really think this is a situation where you should be running your mouth—”

“Oh my fucking god! Tony! What the hell was I supposed to do? You were dying, literally being poisoned by this thing in your fucking chest and I was supposed to do what? Sit back and watch?”

“Do not put this on me. This is not on me! How is this on me? This is a decision you made! By yourself!”

“I didn’t make it in a fucking vaccume, did I—?”

“Everything is my fault? All of it? I am not taking responsibility for your stupidity—”

“—MY STUPIDITY?!! You’re the one who put decided to put a fucking magnet in your chest, jerkface—not me!”

“I’m sorry my solution to being blown up by a missile was inconvenient for you—a missile which by the way had my own fucking name on it—I didn’t have much choice in the matter—”

“UUUGGGGHHHHH! FUCK!! Here we go again. Here we go for the millionth time—”

“—On account of me being held prisoner in the fucking desert!”

“Are we still milking that? Really? Are all your future crimes absolved cause you were kidnapped‚—”

“I wasn’t kidnapped, I was abducted! And do you think I liked—”

“You did like it! You said it yourself, you narcissist—”

“That was a fucking joke, Lincoln Lawyer!”

“How was I supposed to know that?”

“You’re telling me you can’t gauge tone difference now? Really? You childish little shit—”

“You’re a fucking childish little shit—”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Fury shouts. “Shut up—” he cuts off any protest from the siblings before it even forms, “—the both of you. I’ll make you regret it if you don’t.” He fixes them with a look which makes the two Starks silently climb back off of each other and take their seats; once again a part of polite society. This must please Fury to some degree, because he clears his throat before continuing, “Now, here’s the deal, you both will sort this little quarrel out on your own damn time.” He looks over at Y/n, “And you have to sign this, we need proof of some sort. Besides, you will have access to some of the nastiest secrets known man, there has to be some sense of accountability? If you catch my drift?” Reluctant as ever, Y/n just grits her teeth in displeasure but remains otherwise silent. Fury takes this as her assent and moves on to him, “And you! She did this cause you were being a little shit about all of this. So, just be a little nicer maybe?” When Tony remains silent as well he takes that to be an agreement too. He gets up and out of his seat, brushes himself off and then begins to walk away, stopping only for a second to say, “I’ll see you crazy kids back at your place.” With that Fury is gone, and Agent Romanoff along with him.

There is a short silence between the two. It’s something like tense, but not really. 

Tony decides to break it. “You didn’t have to do this, you know?”

He can feel her shrug next to him. “Eh, it was for the best.”

“How?” Tony questions. “You hate all this spy stuff.”

She leans back, hands back in her pocket. “I actually kinda love the spy stuff. I just kinda sorta hate S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Then why go back?”

There is a beat before she replies, “You were suffering. I hate watching you hurt.”

Af if he didn’t know that. The woman burnt the books that gave him paper cuts.

He sighs. “We could’ve fixed it… found a way. We would have.”

“That was the whole problem, Tones. Ever since you’ve put on the damn suit we haven’t been ‘we’. It’s been you in the suit, you in the lab, you alone. 

“That’s not—”

She cuts him off even before he has the chance. “And I understand that I can’t be there all the time and I understand that maybe it wasn’t your intention to cut me off, but none of what you’ve done with regards to all this has been a unanimous decision.”

“I—” he takes a second to reassess before he says anything further, because yeah, maybe she isn’t wrong. Cause right now her breath smells of cigarette smoke and she did just decide to sign herself away to an organization she had come to despise. That would all seem like an overreaction if Tony hadn’t been acting alone, especially from Y/n who is, for all intents and purposes, the most chill person he knows. So, yeah, maybe he fucked up a little bit. So he says, “I—I’m sorry.” He licks his lips. “I was a little too focused on not pulling you back into all this that I just ignored that fact that I was pushing you away all together.” Fuck. He takes a breath. “It’s always us against the world.” He knocks on his suit,”This tin-can won’t change that.”

She looks over at him then, “I know.” She smiles a little “We’re good.”

Nodding, he smiles too. “So, what now? You gonna sign these?” He asks, pointing at the papers in front of them.

“Yep,” she replies, popping the ‘p’ at the end. 

“You think Fury will back out of helping me if you don’t?”

“No, no I don’t,” she answers. “But I’ll sign it anyway.”

“Why?”

“I need the access to the intel that they have.”

Tony has to laugh at that, “Oh yeah, you need them to gather intel. It’s not like you have a whole secret network of informants around the world or anything”

She rolls her eyes with a fond smile. “Yeah well, it’s more than that, okay? There’s something going on at S.H.I.E.L.D. Fury’s planning something.”

“What?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I need this,” she pulls the papers towards her. Pulling out a pen, she signs them. “I gotta be on the inside to figure it out.”

Reaf the next part here. Find the series masterlist here. Find the Static Verse Masterlist here. Read The Avengers (ft. Static) here.

tag list : @aryksworld @freeflyingphoenix @arikarapli @just-anotherstan @justab-eautifulmess @ceo-of-daichi @roxannejblack @liketearsintherainn @paintballkid711 @starkleila @heyitsmereading @fairlygothparents @euphoria-svt @sidepartskinnyjeans @mini-kunoichi @third-broparcelicito @siwiecola @haleybutnotthecomet @mvaldez7821 @rockybutmakeitlame @romanoffswoman @ashpeace888 @hopeofwinter @percabethfangirl987

hit me up if you wanna be added to the tag list.

[ragingadhd]

Will and Alyss are trans here’s my essay

We talk a lot about how funny it is that Flanagan unintentionally wrote the gayest love story between Halt and Crowley in TEY, but holy shit we don’t talk enough about how he also managed to accidentally write the two most trans characters ever.

Alyss and Will being trans is a semi-popular headcanon that’s been in the fandom for ages now, but I haven’t seen many people really dive into why this headcanon is so prevalent. I think that partially has to do with the fact that, like any lgbtq+ identity, it’s pretty difficult to clock someone as trans without relying on trans stereotypes. Really, any character in the RA series could be trans if you chose to believe it since being trans doesn’t look any certain way. That being said, I do think there are some pretty clear qualities and experiences that Will and Alyss have that feel very close to my own experience with being transgender.

Physical appearance is usually the first thing people point out/notice when talking about this headcanon. Will is short, more so than one might expect from a cis man. Alyss is taller than most men and also has a deep voice. I have mixed feelings about people pointing to this as the only reason they think they’re trans. I mean, it makes enough sense for it to be the only reason since one part of being trans is the fact that one’s body doesn’t match their gender identity. What I don’t like about that being the only reason is that there’s so much more to the trans identity and experience than “body don’t match :(“

But that’s the cool thing about Will and Alyss, their physical appearance effects their perception of themselves the same way it does for a trans person (or a cis person really, but it feels much more prevalent in trans people). In the first book, Will is clearly uncomfortable with his height; almost any time it’s brought up, he replies with “I haven’t had my growth spurt yet”, almost defensively. Then, as Will becomes more comfortable with who he is, you can see it bother him less and less. I love this bc it’s exactly what happened with my dysphoria as I transitioned. The more I got to know myself and discover myself, the less my dysphoria bothered me.

As for Alyss, she is so clearly so confident with her appearance. She never tries to hide her height or voice. Although we don’t get to see her journey with those qualities, the way she’s so confident feels like something the earned. It’s something she maybe used to feel insecure about, then decided she gets to decide what femininity means to her. Her height and voice contribute to her elegance and femininity rather than contradict them.

Another thing about Will is his name and how it relates to his identity. I know Flanagan didn’t intend for any of this to be some trans allegory, but goddamn can I relate my trans experience to it. Will grew up without a last name, and you can see how deeply that effects him. It wasn’t just that he was “Will no-name”, he was missing a part of his identity. Hell, he said verbatim “at least you know who you are” to a fucking owl because he felt so confused and unheard (which btw is the most edgy teen thing he ever did).

Though you can see this missing part of his identity bother him less as he gained a support system, it’s still clear that he felt like something was missing. If he didn’t feel like something was missing, he wouldn’t have been so incredibly happy when he became “Will Treaty”. And when he got his last name, you can tell he’s proud, not because he finally has an identity, but because he finally has a name to match the identity he’s spent so long discovering and cultivating. He no longer expresses any sadness or grief that he doesn’t have his father’s last name, because he doesn’t need it to know who he is. He’s Will Treaty, and he’s perfectly happy with being exactly that. This is the most trans-coded naming experience holy shit.

Anyway that’s all I have to say about this (for now at least). Go give your local trans friend a kiss.

[helpimstuckposting]

Advice

Song: Advice by Cavetown

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson

Playlist

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

—

Eddie wasn’t unfamiliar with bad days. In fact, he’d say he was intimately familiar with them. Biblically, even, since they’d fucked him so often. And usually he was able to adjust, to improvise, to calm down and save any serious outbursts for the privacy of his own bedroom. Or van, depending on how truly awful the day was.

Today, he didn’t make it to his room, or to the van. Instead, he walked right out of his last class of the day and trudged straight to the picnic table in the woods behind the school. He figured he had around twenty minutes to get his anger out before someone tramped along looking to buy weed. He was too wired to sit, so he set his little black lunchbox on the table, and started pacing back and forth to try and relieve some pent up energy.

He was off to a rough start from the second his alarm went off. Or didn’t go off, in the case of that morning. Somehow, the stupid electricity in the trailer had gone out at some point in the middle of the night and reset the clocks, making Eddie an hour late to the start of his day. He’d skipped breakfast, and forgot his smokes in the process which meant that all of his teachers were more unbearable than usual.

Then, he skipped lunch to run across the street and buy a pack from the convenience store to take the edge off, but apparently his dad was in town because the man behind the counter had called him Junior with that face people made when they treated him like shit splattered across their shoes. If Al was in town that meant either he hadn’t bothered to check in on his son, or Wayne was keeping it from him and both options pissed Eddie off.

On top of that, Mrs. Click had lost his essay and then claimed he’d never turned it in which was bullshit because Eddie knew for a fact he’d turned it in on time, he’d stayed up all night writing it. In between classes, someone had graffitied “Satanist Freak” on his locker, which normally wouldn’t bother Eddie at all but then he’d gotten yelled at to clean it up, like anyone would think he wrote it himself. The authority figures in this batshit town were driving him insane.

As if that weren’t fucking enough Tommy goddamn Hagan (who Eddie was pretty sure had written the little love letter on his locker) had deliberately poured his entire water bottle on Eddie’s lap in the middle of class, and then played it off as an accident to the teacher. He’ll probably get detention for ditching after that, but Eddie was fucking exhausted. Why him? Why did everything have to hit the fan all at once? Couldn’t he just have one bad thing happen per day? He’d take one bad thing a day for the rest of his life over all the shit piled on top of him in the last seven hours.

And! Eddie was sure the fact that his father was in town would bite him even harder in the ass until the son a bitch left again. He couldn’t stand the thought of going home to see his smarmy fucking face after the last time he was in town and conned Eddie out of his savings and the contents of his lunchbox. It was fucking ludicrous that the town hated him for his father when Eddie got the worst end of the stick his whole life. At least the other people could avoid him, could walk away or, hell, even call the cops on the bastard if they wanted. Eddie couldn’t ever get away from him. Every time Eddie even looked at a mirror, Al Munson looked back.

He could feel the buzzing adrenaline bubbling up behind his eyes, stabbing its claws into his sinuses. His hands shook as he tugged them through his hair and he could not let this shitty day make him cry. He wasn’t going to let the town win, let his teacher and Tommy win, let Al Munson win. He clenched his stupid shaking hands into fists and dug his nails in as hard as he could, trying to steady his breathing, but it didn’t work. He could feel the build up behind his eyes and all the shitty events of the day clogging his throat like it was strangling him from the inside.

He let out a frustrated yell, grabbing his lunchbox from the table and using all of his energy to chuck it across the little clearing, across the lunch table, and straight into a tree. It smashed against the bark with a rattle, hitting the ground without even breaking the latch. Eddie knew the thing wouldn’t break, though it might have been sporting a few new scratches and a dent. It made him feel a little better, though. Maybe he could understand why someone would do sports. Maybe. Sometimes.

“Damn, you ever try shot put?” a voice called out through the clearing.

Eddie whipped his head around to find the king himself, Steve Harrington sauntering towards the picnic table. Schools out then, he thought, grumbling in his mind like a child. Of course The King would need to stock up, it was a Friday after all.

“With an arm like that, you’d do pretty well,” he added when Eddie didn’t respond.

“I don’t know what the fuck shop put is, but I’m not in the mood, Harrington,” Eddie called back, crossing his arms over his chest and stomping a boot onto the wooden bench next to him. The second he did, he felt like an idiot, like some kind of alpha-male posturing to seem tougher. He put his foot back on the ground.

“It’s shot put, it’s… never mind,” Steve cut himself off. “Anyway… uh.” He looked nervous, rubbing his hands awkwardly before shoving them into the pockets of his pristine blue jeans. It eased some of the tension in Eddie’s shoulders. He wanted to laugh. He made the king nervous, made him look a bit scared, even. It was comical. Wayne would think it was downright hilarious.

“What do you want, Harrington?” Eddie called. The King was still standing by the treeline, a good few yards of space between them.

“Do you have any joints left? Maybe a baggie of flower or something?” he responded. Eddie rolled his eyes. The royal court was predictable, as always.

“Like I said, I’m really not in the mood.”

“I’ll pay extra,” Steve added, shrugging his shoulders. Eddie paused, contemplating the offer. He did need the money, he always needed the money, and he knew Harrington was good for it. Eddie could probably double the price and The King wouldn’t even bat an eye.

He sighed, glancing at his toppled lunch box on the ground. Eddie rolled his eyes, deciding the money was worth more than his peace and quiet. He cracked his neck before trudging over to the black metal box, noticing Steve’s flinch as he did. The boy tried to cover it, Eddie could tell, but he wasn’t quick enough and Eddie couldn’t quite hide his smirk as he snatched the lunchbox up and walked back to the table.

He sat down, placed the container on the rough wooden surface, and gestured to the bench opposite him. The King paused briefly before joining him, sitting down quietly and pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.

“How many joints?” Eddie asked.

“How many you got?”

He glanced into the lunchbox, stomach aching as he shoved the actual lunch aside to open the little metal Altoids tin. He had four joints left, a few less than Harrington’s usual haul, but enough. He gathered them all up, pulling out an empty baggie and wrapping the joins up tight. Eddie held up the baggie for Harrington to take before grabbing another, prepacked with an eighth of flower.

“Eighth or a quarter?” Eddie asked, grabbing a second baggie.

“You got a half?” Harrington asked, squinting a little like he was sheepish to ask the question. Eddie would have found it cute if he wasn’t so annoyed at that moment. He rolled his eyes instead.

“If I had a half, I would have asked, Princess,” he snapped. If Harrington had looked sheepish before, he looked downright contrite now. It made Eddie feel a little bad, but he held his glare without backing down. The world had been shit to him today, he didn’t have to care about hurting The Kings feelings.

“An eighth or a quarter ounce, Harrington?” he asked again.

“Quarter,” he mumbled. Eddie pulled both baggies out, holding them toward Harrington to take. He didn’t. Instead he looked from the baggies to Eddie’s face, eyes contemplating something and Eddie hoped like hell that Steve wouldn’t ask, but like everything else today, the world didn’t listen.

“Are you okay?” he asked, and Eddie’s anger reared its ugly head again.

“I don’t want to talk, Harrington.”

“Are you sure? Because you kind of look like you need it. Are you okay?” he asked again.

“You want a hint?” Eddie snarked, snatching the baggies back. If His Highness wasn’t taking his gold then Eddie could keep it for himself for all he cared. “Are you hungry?” Eddie asked him.

Steve looked confused, his brows scrunching together like he was trying to connect the pieces of conversation that was running away from him.

“I… why?” he asked.

“Because you can eat my fucking shorts, Harrington. I said I don’t want to talk, so take the weed, leave the cash, and leave me the fuck alone,” Eddie spat, tossing the baggies between them on the table.

“I just mean, maybe I can help! Give you some advice or-“

“I know you’re trying to help, it’s very nice of you to pay your loyal subjects some attention but you don’t know anything about me, okay? I don’t need your advice, and I don’t need to explain myself to you.” Eddie gave up, decided this was a failed transaction and he should pack his shit and leave. He made a move to stand, reaching for the baggies on the picnic table, but he was beaten to the punch. Harrington grabbed the baggies out from under his hand, quickly tossing way too many bills on the wooden table. Forget double, Eddie’s pretty sure it was enough for a whole ounce. He stared, dumbfounded, at the cash in front of him and looked back up at Harrington. He was standing now, just a step away from the bench he’d been sitting on a second ago.

Eddie snatched the cash and tried to reign in his expression. He wasn’t really sure what his face was doing, couldn’t tell if he’d schooled it or not, but Harrington wasn’t giving anything away.

“I wasn’t trying to pick a fight, I swear.” He held a hand up, like Eddie was some kind of rabid animal Steve was trying to placate. “I just… I know what it feels like to not have anyone to talk to. So, like… if you need an ear-“

“I don’t ’need an ear’, Harrington, I need you to get out of my face, I need your court jester Tommy to leave me the fuck alone, and clean my locker while he’s at it! I need Mrs. Click to find my fucking essay because I’m already failing her class, and I need people in this godawful town to stop treating me like I’m just a clone of my father!” Eddie yelled. He huffed out a large breath, startled at his own outburst. By the glint in Steve’s eye, it was exactly what he’d been trying to pry out of Eddie. He looked pleased that he’d just been screamed at, and it just pushed all of Eddie’s buttons.

How the fuck did he even do that? They didn’t talk. Steve bought weed from him before his parties, and ignored him in the hallway. That was it. That’s all they ever were. So how the hell did he just get Eddie to tell him what was bothering him? Maybe the town was wrong, and they got the wrong witch when they put Eddie up on a pyre. He felt the sudden urge to yell ‘I saw Goody Harrington with the Devil!’. Somehow, he didn’t think that would make this conversation any better.

Eddie crossed his arms like a petulant child, and he couldn’t help but notice Steve slot his hands onto his hips like some kind of scolding housewife. Everything Harrington was doing made Eddie feel smaller and smaller.

“Just… leave me alone,” Eddie sighed, feeling deflated. “I don’t owe you anything, okay? You’re not my friend, you’re not my mom,” Eddie rolled his eyes and stared pointedly at Steve’s soccer mom stance. A blush bloomed across his cheeks, and Eddie watched as he took the hands off his hips and shoved them back into his pockets. Eddie couldn’t decide if Steve’s jeans were more dad jean or mom jean but he shook the thought from his head before he figured it out.

“Right… well,” Steve sighed, pulling a hand out of his pocket and patting it lightly on his thigh. Eddie had a sudden flash of Steve wearing horn rimmed glasses, saying ‘Welp, I better hit the road’, and Eddie couldn’t figure out when Steve had gone from King to Single Father during the span of their conversation. “Thanks for the… stuff,” Steve said awkwardly. Jesus Christ, Eddie needed to get a hold of himself and quickly. It was ridiculous how endearing he was finding this, and being weirdly attracted to a father figure act was not something he needed to be unpacking right now.

“Thanks for the cash,” Eddie said back, just as awkwardly tossing a salute in and immediately wanting to jump off a cliff. He needed to get out of here. Quickly, he packed up his lunchbox, tossing the cash inside before latching it shut. He turned back toward the direction of the school parking lot and prayed that Steve would let him go without another word. He tried not to dwell on the fact that it felt a lot like tucking his tail between his legs.

“See you next Friday!” Steve called out behind him.

Eddie was halfway back to the trailer before he realized the weight in his chest was significantly lighter than it had been all day. He tallied it up to Steve being in league with the devil. They’d go back to not speaking in the hallways, and he’d forget all about their conversation today, and that was it. Eddie just hoped he’d forget it too, and tried not to think about exactly how many witch’s marks Steve might have that Eddie couldn’t see.

—

This was inspired by me being unhinged and thinking of Steddie literally every single time a song came on from my playlist so I wanted to challenge myself and see if I could write 26 of them. If anyone wants to try this challenge, go for it! I just thought it would be fun. I linked the playlist above, and I might add or subtract songs to it depending on how I'm feeling

Tagging some people who might be interested or helped me out with picking songs! Thank you for the suggestions (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@estrellami-1 @weirdandabsurd42 @sirsnacksalot @devondespresso @captncalamity @sluttysteddie @blahblah-hilariousname-blah @cringevalue @thereallifecath

[dave2olkat]

Hey, are you up for receiving an entire freaking essay about how you write Dirk and how fucking incredible it is? That was a rhetorical question, YOU'RE GETTING IT ANYWAY.

So. Dirk Strider. The absolute moron who sends himself back every iteration, gets increasingly splintered as a result, and is way too emotionally compromised to do anything about it at this point. I've noticed a lot of the characters draw inspiration from beyond canon, so we can refer to this Dirk as a sort of Ultimate self if I am not mistaken. The guy has memories from all past iterations rattling around his skull after all, and it is MESSING HIM UP BIG TIME!

Like, the man is going by a script at this point. Do this, and this happens as a result. Say this to a person and they'll react that way. Let Roxy leave so you can stay with Dave alone, stab him in the back, and leave him for dead so he gets off the empire's radar, make sure he doesn't actually bite it, and then he'll end up in the position most advantageous to him. He has a ship! A crew! A small support system! He's living his best life this iteration, and he has DIRK to thank for that! Never mind that most of his relationships were completely destroyed in the fallout. Never mind that he has accumulated major trauma from the carapacian war, and was betrayed by someone who he thought he could count on for anything, that's not important. Oh yeah, he hates Dirk's guts now, but he always calculated with that loss. He sacrificed his brother's trust in him and it sucks, it sucks and nobody understands, but it was to give him a happy life, so at the end of the day Dirk's the selfless hero!

And with that, I've accumulated my thoughts on what I think went through his head when he went through with this batshit awful plan. Dirk's literally so wrapped up in himself, that he can only think in terms of other's gain versus personal cost. I don't think he's selfish, no, from a certain perspective, he's far from it, because he's sacrificing the few things he holds dear for the few people he actually gives a shit about in all these loops. His relationships with said people. It's just that he is INCAPABLE of seeing how his decisions and attempts at helping them cause more pain and anguish, and eventually, the doom of the timeline. It's like at one point, he stopped seeing them as real people, with psyches that can be damaged, and feelings that can be things beyond 'I hate you now because you hurt me', and instead thinks of them as merely... puppets.

Because he's the only one who remembers. He's the one who can see the bigger picture, while his friends and family are caught up in the mundanity of each loop, living lesser lives, being lesser people. If only they knew, if only they understood like him, maybe they could be on equal footing, but no, he'd never wish this existence on anyone, and besides, even if they had all that intel they'd never really get it, because they aren't him. So it falls on him to save everyone, him and only him, no Grimmage, just because you have a handy helmet that spouts bullshit about the loops at you does not mean you have all the answers. This is Dirk's mission, Sollux would just fuck it up. Everybody needs to stay out of the goddamn way, you're saving this goddamn timeline. All those previous ones you doomed? They were just test runs, you know what you're doing now.

I just... LOVE how AUTHENTIC he feels in your fic. Like, I look at this guy and say 'Ah yes, that right there is textbook Dirk Strider behavior,' but you wrote him with motivations and a mindset that I can see combined with his Ultimate status. He's an incredible antagonist, and I can't wait for him to show up again, because I need Dave to go up to this guy and somehow slap some sense into him. Unlikely but hey. I want a happy ending for him too, let me hope.

 Okay, first of all, I loved this ask! I've put a lot of time and effort into writing Gold Pilot so if anyone has other essay-length asks or comments about the fic, go ahead and submit them, this monster AU deserves the attention. For anyone who hasn't read the fic, it's a Davesolkat Rebellion/Time Loop Au but it also will go deep into the other characters as well, particularly the Strider-Lalondes, so if you're into that, give it a read!

Okay, now onto Dirk- he's one of my fav characters in Homestuck okay, he's so complex! And I felt like they did him dirty in Beyond Canon and the Epilogues but at the same time they explored some hella interesting aspects of his character that have been in the main comic there all along, same with everyone else. Gold Pilot is MY take on how everyone's true 'Ultimate Self' would work and also them reaching their 'fullest potential' in a way? The situation is much different than in canon, of course, but overall I will try to deconstruct both, the Ultimate Self thing AND the classpect of their God Tier selves. This will happen to everyone, not just Davesolkat, though we WILL focus on those three because I have Davesolkat brainrot and Dave WILL be the only POV character because ‘unreliable narrator who might not have an idea of what’s going on’ is the best trope.

But Dirk- it's funny that you call him an antagonist because he's not that in the story. An antagonist opposes the hero/protagonist in some way, they're there as an obstacle to achieve their ultimate goal, but here's the thing, Dirk WANTS what everyone else wants. He wants an end to the Time Loops, he wants to protect his family and friends and help them reach the best version of themselves, and he also wants to kill the Condesce. Mainly because she's the one who kills Dave, Roxy and Rose, but also, because he recognizes that she's the TRUE threat in this AU (as far as we know). So no, technically, Dirk ISN'T the villain and he's helping everyone else fullfill their own goals, the role they will play in the Rebellion as it is, and he knows full well that they WON'T achieve that unless he's there to provide support.

You're right that he's sacrificing everything else to achieve this. He sacrificed Dave's trust on him, and Dave IS in probably the best position he can be because of it. Does Dave realize this at this point of the story? Probably not. There's hints that Dirk's actually going to be working with them further in on the timeline, but right now? Right now Dave thinks his brother is the person who ruined his life.

You're right in saying that Dirk's so completely wrapped up in himself, but I don't think he's incapable of seeing how his attempts at helping everyone are actually hurting them. I think he's well aware of this, and a part of him is well-aware that none of them will ever forgive him, but he's fine with this because this makes him an even more selfless hero. He does treat them as puppets, but I think he knows that he NEEDS them to be certain versions of themselves so they can properly fight the Condesce. Also, he's aware that even in this, they have a certain level of personal choice. Would he have been forced to stab Dave on the back if he HADN'T become a Treschutioner? We know Dave could have become an entertainer guy instead, and he would have STILL ended up with the Rebels. We've explored this with the Iteration Logs of the Solluxes, but the timelines are less a straight road where everything always happens the same way and more a collection of choices that give out wildly different results while still ending in the same way any way because the Condesce is such a menace, with everyone dead.

And he's another fun thing, Dirk doesn't ACTUALLY know about the helmet. Sollux has specifically kept him in the dark about it because he's convinced Dirk would exploit it if he knew about it, especially because the helmet's not only a device that spouts info about the timeloops. It's a goddamn database containing the research that EVERYONE Sollux has been able to contact has done in the past, what? 286 years or so. So yes, it's quite a powerful tool, but you're right, Mage doesn't have all the answers. And you can say that Mage's actually some kind of cheat code. It allows Sollux to have access to the memories of the loops WITHOUT all the trauma and emotional baggage that come with them, so if anything, I suppose that Dirk would think of it as the coward's way out.

Sollux quite literally decided to divide himself into two different people (or as different as two people can be when one does have all the memories of the other one) and has basically locked the part of himself that DOES remember in a digital prison/dimension, where it cannot harm anyone or control anyone else. What this has done to Mage, well, I think we’ve seen it already, so yes, one could argue that this is an incredibly selfish thing that Sollux did, meanwhile Dirk isn’t afraid to live with the consequences of his own actions, which automatically makes him the better man/hero.

As far as Dirk knows, Sollux DOES remember, he's just, you know, someone who will not do what is necessary to save the timeline. He's soft, he spends so much time trying to get along with everyone that he allows the people he loves to get killed every single time (though Dirk's doing the exact same thing, one could argue). They're more foils to each other that they're enemies, and it will be a lot of fun once we actually see them interact, because while Dirk does think Sollux is as easily manipulated as everyone else, and that he doesn't have what it takes to save everyone which is why it falls on HIM, Dirk does know that Sollux is the only person who knows him in a way. Who can recognize the sacrifice he's making and just what's at stake here, if he doesn't take exactly the same path he's taken every time to ensure everyone will be able to fight for as long as they can.

You're right on the money on the 'Dirk thinking all the other iterations are test runs for the real deal', because Dirk HAS found pretty much the 'best path' for everyone to take. We'll see more of it when we meet Rose, who IS still a very powerful seer in this AU and who also takes after him in a way, but yeah, the fantastic thing about Dirk is that he IS helping everyone and he does care. He's on Dave's side. He just, you know, also Dirk. That's why I've always found fascinating about his character, and what I liked about him in the actual comic. I feel like Beyond Canon let go of that fundamental part of him (the fact that he DOES care) and I'm using Gold Pilot to basically fix that? Basically how I think it should've been handled.

As for the happy ending- I don't think it's much of a spoiler that Gold Pilot WILL have one, because it's in the tags themselves lmao. 'Earn Your Happy Ending', they will get there, but it will take them a long time, and it won't happen in this iteration even. Dave WILL slap some sense into Dirk, but who knows, maybe it'll be Dirk who slaps some sense into him too before he does.

Once again, thank you for this analysis! I wouldn't say I'm the authority on how to write any of the Homestuck Characters, but I'm glad I at least got Dirk's character right :) as I said, he's one of my faves and his relationship with Dave will be explored and milked for all of its angst and comfort in this fanfic.

[shitswiftiessay]

Sometimes I receive submissions (because it turns out the entire fucking world is sick of swifties, even some swifties are sick of swifties and they send me stuff). Someone sent me a post from this blog where she wrote an essay about Joe Alwyn being the worst boyfriend ever and how he never loved Taylor and just tolerated her ass all those years. I reblogged to say how stupid that was. Idk what she’s trying to say in her rambling replies after blocking me and I really don’t care. but I’d just like to reiterate that once again, you DON’T know Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn, you don’t know these fucking people at all, and you DON’T know everything about a relationship from a goddamn song from 1 person’s perspective. You are NOT a relationship expert, just an embarrassing, parasocial moron

I also really REALLY love the fact that swifties love to call joe alwyn broke/poor/homeless and are obsessed with shitting on him for taking public transportation, but then here they are with big ass donation buttons on their tumblr blogs, asking for tips for doing absolutely nothing (except posting shit takes and writing fanfics about a relationship they know jack shit about.)

[maleficore]

I don’t even go here but your replies to deepdragons were so needlessly hostile.

“If you found it so disrespectful then why didn’t you block me?” This is childish and hypocritical. If you found their take so bad, why did you go out of your way to go to their blog, find the post, and then argue with them? Why didn’t YOU block them first so you wouldn’t have to see their takes? Why do people need to block you, to actively prevent you from interacting with them entirely, for you to not be rude to them?

People will have shitty takes and you will not agree with every post you see — that’s the nature of fandom. You can’t control how other people post or think and that’s annoying, I get it, but YOU can control how you interact with others. The way you were speaking to that person was so needlessly rude and hostile. Is that how you speak to people in real life? I’m so curious as to what your goal was in talking to them like that. Surely it wasn’t to convince any one of anything. Who would want to agree with someone being so dickish and annoying about something as inconsequential as the politics of elven aging? So, what was all of that for? Did that make you happy or have you just riled yourself up? Do you feel like you accomplished something by speaking to someone like that?

I really hate when people tear others apart for being wrong about fandom things. If you were wrong about something, do you think you would appreciate someone talking to you in the way you spoke to deepdragons? Or would you rather they approach you with respect and understanding? Golden rule and all that, yeah?

You did not have to seek them out and you did not have to engage with them. Next time, either speak to others with respect or just make your own goddamn post. Not everything needs to be a debate.

I also find it funny how you were coming at them for not being faithful for the lore or whatever and then, when someone with more textual evidence than you rebutted your statements and called for you to back up your claims, you were like “I can’t be expected to cite all of my claims like an academic paper!!” Fucking lol. The onus of proof lies only with the people you disagree with, huh?

Have you seen the original post? I'm guessing not because then you'd know that my reply pretty much mirrored the exact condescending tone used by the OP. I also didn't "go out of my way" to do anything. I've said so before and I'll repeat it again: I got an error while reblogging the OG post, went to check the person's blog for what's up with that and the first thing I saw was them calling people stupid for pointing out that They're Not Correct. I already had the post written at that point and I simply copied it from one tab to another. This is the internet, you post something publicly people can and will interact with it unless you stop them. I didn't block the OP because at the time I did not give a shit if they interacted with me or not, I was just setting straight misinfo I see regurgitated over and over again to the point I'm sick of it. Because of the attitude they displayed I was actually fully expecting to get blocked straight away myself.

I'm not actually a dick unless someone annoys me into it. Because sometimes people get annoyed and they're rude, that's just how people work. But I guess you know that? Since you're annoyed at me and wrote a whole essay trying to make me feel bad?

And just to finish this off.. none of my statements were rebutted. I got lore dumped on and half of it wasn't even interpreted correctly from the linked books. Yes, I don't need to cite like it's an academic paper because all the goddamn info needed was already in my first post. Astarion was not a child because he was a grown ass man with a government job. There's no basis for "Ascended Vampires can't love" because Larian homebrews their vampires so the written lore doesn't apply. That's literally it. People on this site just can't fucking read.

[shadowmaat]

Artificial Incompetence

The conversations around "artificial intelligence" are getting a bit bonkers. Not that they're really conversations so much as screaming matches. And not that we're talking about true artificial intelligence so much as algorithm blending programs.

I don't like the recent fad of ABPs. It has a lot of the same earmarks and defenders as NFTs had, and boy howdy did that not work out well for folks. I don't think ABPs have been tied to the fake currency market, but their current implementation is still going to do more harm than good, in my opinion.

I'm not gonna say that writing or art should be "hard" or that people need to "struggle" in order to create things. I do, however, believe that they need to do the goddamn work themselves. Feeding prompts into a content generator doesn't make you a writer or artist. Well, scam artist, maybe. It's taking words/brush strokes from someone else and claiming credit for it. Even if you mention you used an ABP you still didn't create the art yourself, you just fed a program some prompts or the name of some artists you like and it spat out something you claimed as your own.

That's one of the big hangups I have with this fad: taking credit for someone else's work. Reaping all the perceived benefits (kudos, reblogs, etc) without actually doing anything to earn it.

If I give someone a prompt and they write a fic based on it, that story isn't mine. Sure, they might mention I gave them the prompt, but they were the one to write the actual story. Not me. My name doesn't go on the author line and I can't boast to others about the fic I wrote. Because I didn't.

I'm all for accessibility tools to help people complete tasks, and if ABPs were being widely used to help make creative efforts more accessible, I might have a different opinion. As it stands, however, the vast majority of people currently using ABPs aren't using them to help with their own creativity, they're using them as a substitute.

The arguments about data scraping and plagiarism are important, especially if we want to make sure that ABPs stop doing that, but from where I stand it still all boils down to people trying to loophole past responsibility and effort.

It gets worse when you switch gears from fic writing to essays and articles. At least in fiction stuff is supposed to be made up, so, all jokes aside, if some details are wrong it doesn't really matter.

When students start submitting essays to their teachers that they didn't write or sites try using an ABP to write articles, facts become a lot more important. And ABPs are infamous for making shit up whole cloth, even to the point of citing imaginary sources for their facts. That is, quite frankly, dangerous.

You think the past few years (decades, centuries) of misinformation have been bad? It can get a whole lot worse. These programs can seed in just enough "real" information to sell their bullshit as legitimate, and if even some experts have to double-check stuff to figure out what's false, where does that leave the rest of us? Especially all the ones who don't fact check at all before reblogging/believing something they read?

I think the future of artificial intelligence- real artificial intelligence- could be incredibly cool, and when the first AI submits a fic to AO3 I hope I'm around to read it. Right now, though, it's less about exploring potential and all about exploiting it.

[the-bloody-sadist]

Hello! Fellow yanagihara hater here. Please share more of your views on a little life i beg because that book was so promising with its themes goddamn but then the writer had to fuck it up -

OH NOOOOO THE CHANCE TO BE A HATER WHATEVER WILL I DO.....

THANKS FOR ASKING.

I'm really glad to hear from someone who was also angry at the book and its author! I tend to be more bothered than usual when any form of media is popular for so-called "trauma representation", held up as a classic, etc., and then when I consume that media, I find out that the way it's written is more of a pretentious normie's view of "suffering", which, in my opinion, is disgusting. NOW. PLEASE BE REMINDED THAT I HAVE STRONG OPINIONS, AND ALSO TAKE THEM WITH A GRAIN OF SALT, AS I'M PARTICULARLY TRIGGERED BY WHAT I FEEL IS HORRIBLE TRAUMA REP. And a second grain of salt, too, since I did NOT read all of A Little Life (because I got too angry, knew exactly where it was going, and said FUCK YOU YANAGIHARA, I'm going to watch a video essay breakdown of the plot instead so I don't kill myself), and also watched behind the scenes interviews that made me hate Yanagihara even more.

If you're curious what video I watched that broke down the plot and confirmed all of my expectations on this book, it's here! I remember not agreeing with a lot of what that YouTuber said, because some things are silly to complain about in fiction and I don't believe in the whole "sexual abuse should not be shown in graphic detail", which I think was part of his discussion?? Bad memory, sorry. What I think is ugly about the book is the pile-on of RIDICULOUS amounts of trauma for Jude, to a degree that makes it a parody, almost comedically, of real trauma. From a writer's perspective, I'm furious at the way she used it and the way it succeeded at it's one job--NOT to help people understand the effects of trauma and CSA--but to make them cry. It's cheap, it's gross, and it casts all of Jude's trauma (for me) in the light of "this author was proud of herself for how much she could stuff into one boy just to make SURE you were devastated, while paying no special attention to make sure these traumas were handled with care". It's enraging to see how low the standard is for professional books that A Little Life is held up the way it is.

Now, don't get me wrong, her prose, while bogged down by excruciating and needless detail a lot of times, is very engaging. It's part of why I was so mad that it failed in the most important areas. I wanted it to be good! I really did! And I loved Jude, he would've been a wonderful character if not for her amateur decisions. Had she picked one or two traumas to focus on, created a realistic background for him, and had his death make for better impact and purpose to the plot, I'd probably have the book on my shelf as a top ten. But instead, I listened to her speak about how she did ZERO RESEARCH ON TRAUMA for Jude, apparently doesn't have trauma of her own that she's referencing (because then, no matter how much I disliked it, I would be more forgiving if she's pulling from her own experiences), and just...is so FLIPPANT about how she wrote it. Plus, in my personal opinion, I don't like her attitude in general. She comes off like a cringe edgelord for the slop she wrote, and I know so many authors who aren't even professionals that write trauma WORLDS better than she ever could.

Also, I'm so sorry, but the COVER??? What a perfect representation for the book, honestly. That old photo of the dude making an expression of pain that looks fake as fuck to me, just...eugh.

You know those gacha life cringe videos where the characters are all gory and talk about fucked up shit that happened to them, but it's extreme and ridiculous? That's what this book felt like once it dove into Jude.

When I write my own characters, I try to pick a single trauma for them and a couple coping mechanisms. It's important to me that one trauma isn't just tossed in there without regard for how much it changes someone's life, behaviors, and thought processes. Other traumas exist, of course, but they fit within the theme for what the character will represent. And I think it's important to have characters around them that will balance that trauma, a caretaker, a friend, and some sort of hope. Even if it might be true in real life that some people do have out-of-this-world experiences of trauma, there's not a lot of ways to correctly convey that in fiction without coming off as silly or over-imaginative. It quickly feels like the author is jerking themselves off in how "good" they are at making characters suffer, when for me, it's about how good they are at portraying how even a "small" trauma can affect the character deeply. I respect it more when media explores the subtle aspects of trauma, incorporating multiple side-effects instead of just one. Again, I know not everyone is as picky as I am. I'm trying to have more grace for what others think is realistic, but A Little Life is WAY over that line. Whenever I read or watch something that has overdone, overdramatic, or unrealistic depictions of trauma, it's intensely triggering, and sometimes I've become suicidal for like a whole week afterwards LMFAO, so I'm super passionate about this subject, and I think it's because I'm both a writer and a trauma survivor. Having CPTSD and watching shit like Bungou Stray Dogs get praised for "good PTSD rep" with ATSUSHI????? Straying a bit from the topic, but I lose respect for anyone who expresses that opinion.

Anyway, as a closing opinion, Yanagihara just sounds like a teen fanfic writer who crams their story full of misery and thinks she's done a great job just because there was a lot of it and people went “aww, so sad”. It just felt like trauma is a spectacle for her, not a crushing psychological experience.

I already feel misunderstood enough, as is. I already feel like my trauma has been disregarded by anybody who hasn't shared the same type of trauma. The last thing I need is confirmation that it'll continue to be misunderstood because of media depictions like A Little Life.

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT, ANON! I hope I shared a lot of the same things you felt about the book!! I don't think I said everything as well as I wanted to, but I pushed the book out of my mind as much as possible after getting triggered by it, so I can't recall all of the details in full clarity. LMAO...

MUCH LOVE TO YOU!! And to leave on a positive note, I recently watched Room (with Brie Larson) and it was one of the BEST realistic representations of trauma I've seen in a LONG TIME. So that was nice!! It's in my favorites list now and I recommend it to everyone so you don't have to think about A Little Life anymore 🫵😡