#story - money

[foldingfittedsheets]

Mattresses, unbeknownst to many, are a lot like cars. Every year new ones roll out, they’re always tweaking and innovating and you’ll never find the same one you loved decades ago when buying a new one.

Where I sold mattresses had a three month return or exchange program for this reason. New beds take a while to break in, and they’re a big expense. Your body is used to the old one. So we made sure people were loving it. If a bed got returned we’d take it back, sanitize and clean it, then sell it again on clearance.

To sell these we always had to disclose what clearance meant to customers, and they had to sign that they knew what they were getting. (FYI, not every company is as… forthright about the used bed situation)

In clearance we had beds that were floor models, we had returns, and more rarely we had old models whose line had been discontinued. These clearance beds were always final sale, so a bed could only be sold twice.

Now, the manager at the store I was working at had realized a vital fact. Clearance beds in the warehouse didn’t sell, especially old models that salespeople weren’t familiar with. And even more especially in odd sizes, like twin extra longs. So he set up a split king on the showroom floor to exhibit clearance beds, pulling all those forgotten twin extra longs out onto the showroom.

Almost all of these were brand new discontinued models. Beds I’d never learned in training were exhumed to be displayed. The manufacturers had moved on to new lines and they’d been left behind. Why would he take such in interest in selling old stock, you might wonder? Because we made double commission on the sales margin of clearance beds, and if we’d had a bed long enough they dropped the cost in the system so it was a fucking cash cow to sell these. Even with huge discounts the commissions were wonderful so it was a win win.

When I got started I was jazzed about this program, I was so on board to sell weird old brand new beds and make a ton of money. I had a wonderful older couple come in, looking for a split king adjustable set. This was a white whale sale.

The current clearance models on the floor were a latex mattress that was brand new despite being of an age to start first grade, and a tempurpedic floor model. The couple laid down and it was like magic. They each loved the bed they’d laid down on. They wanted to buy the whole shebang.

I. Was. Thrilled. I told them about the clearance program and what that meant, and they weren’t bothered in the least. I wrote up the sale then dashed into the back, fizzing with excitement to tell my manager what I’d done.

“You sold the death bed?!” He asked in delight.

I pulled up short, my smile freezing in place. “What…?”

“Didn’t you check the notes?”

I hesitated for a long beat then slowly shook my head. You see, dear reader, all beds had a personal history. Every clearance bed had logs written up by the person who took the return, as well as warehouse crew after sanitizing. It helped us know what to expect when selling them. “Wasn’t it just a floor model? You said it was a floor model…”

He slowly shook his head. I checked the notes.

It turned out, it had been sold as a floor model. The first time. But the company had made an exception and taken it back as a return two months later. Why? Because it’s owner had passed away.

I stared at the computer in horror and my manager shrugged. “They signed the clearance form. Technically it was a floor model.”

“We know for a fact that a man died in that bed!”

“What they don’t know can’t haunt them,” he said philosophically.

The man came back a week later for more sheets, utterly delighted to tell me how well they were sleeping. I clamped my teeth down around the secret of the deathbed, choosing to let them love their new bed without the stigma. Only one person would be haunted by that deathbed, and it was me.

[stil-lindigo]

Ahmed Saad or @/90-ghost's brother in law is currently doing his best to organise the evacuation of his family from Gaza. This family suffers from a combination of ailments that all require medical attention. This is the description on their GFM page:

Hello, I hope you all are doing well!

My name is Mohamed Monir Ahmad Mahmoud, I’m a hemophilia patient from Gaza. I decided to start this campaign with all the hope that you could support me in evacuating Gaza to do surgery for me and my daughter and start a fresh life with my 5 kids out of the ongoing genocide in Gaza [...] I was supposed to go out at the end of 2023 to have surgery on my knees but since 7 October, I had no chance due to the procedures on Rafah crossing, the gate of Gazans to the world. Now, my knees and elbows are bleeding with no access to any type of care and if things stand as they are in Gaza, I won’t be able to walk or make any effort because of the bleeding (currently I am barely able to set up a small fire in front of the tent to prepare food for my kids).

What I ask is 60,000, for travel costs because each one would need to pay 5,000-8,000$ to be allowed to leave Gaza through Rafah crossing and we need around 3000$ more in Egypt for our stay and to obtain visas. We will be heading to Brazil where my brother Diaa lives and there is a huge chance to do the surgeries and access health care as the health care for Hemophilia patients in Brazil is one of the most advanced in the world.

please give generously!!

[bixels]

fuck it. hits you with the upa ray gun.

[ronioli]

Elphelt Valentine... save me...

[hopelessromanticsavage]

BLING FUCCN BLING

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Danse Macabre

[Commission]

[chalkrub]

thank you for a great art fight! here's some of my final attacks. had a blast, already missing it - see you next year!

[renonv]

Told y’all I would finish these two pages one day

[ruby-static]

Welcome to another episode of “Riley’s curiosity gets the better of him, and now he has to experience situations™.”

This time, he’s gotta deal with the Twilight Zone mad scientist crater.

[foldingfittedsheets]

I got asked the other day if my job was a front for money laundering. It was a really fun young couple and it an absolutely blindsided me. So instead of my polite retail laugh they got an insane bray of astonished real laughter which utterly delighted them.

“Have you never heard that before?!”

I wheezed for a minute before gasping, “No! Why would I have???”

“Well because these stores are always so quiet but there’s a million of them!”

My coworker popped his head over the desk and said, “I get asked like once a week about it.”

That sent me laughing even harder until I finally got myself calmed down enough to say, “I hope it feels good that you got to be my first.”

From their wide mischievous grins, it did.

[skunkes]

[stil-lindigo]

HELP PALESTINIAN ARCHITECT EVACUATE HER FAMILY FROM GAZA

This is a verified fundraiser for a family of four to evacuate to Cairo. The fund's creator, Amal Abu Shammala, reached out to me personally to share this since she's failed to get her fund on Operation Olive Branch and Let's Talk Palestine's fundraising linktree.

As of right now, she has raised €2,397/ €42,000. You can see the breakdown of what the money will be used for in the fund description.

Please give generously!

[bixels]

Messy Trixie Charleston dance roughs.

[egophiliac]

LEON

LEON YOUR EYEBALLS

[urv3nicebitch]

Cindy Kimberley For LOBA Campaign

Cindy Kimberly LOBA Campaign

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No time to play. You are being sent away.

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