#spoonie mom
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Well, this isn't Barbie level cute, BUT it's my favorite dress and I remembered to close the bathroom door 😂 and who doesn't love AT-ATs (and pockets)?!
#joelle's life#her universe#star wars#at at#all terrain armored transport#me#hu community#flaunt your world#selfie#selfie sunday#spoonie#spoonie mom#my star wars collection#my shirt collection#YES I KNOW IT'S NOT A SHIRT BUT IT DESERVES A PLACE IN MY COLLECTION TAG#because it's beautiful#this barbie is TIRED#bipolar disorder#and i'm crashing
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literally my boyfriend is my painkiller.
Whenever I'm with him my pain goes down so much I can ignore it. Yea sometimes there's days where nothing helps the pain but at least he's there to take care of me. Most times tho his presence has a drastic effect on my pain levels. Maybe it's cause when he's around I feel less stressed and more safe and secure? Or maybe it's cause he's basically a human-shaped heating pad
#wrenfea.exe#literally ill be having the most stressful day and one hug from him calms me down completely#hes so sweet and encouraging#ive also only ever heard him yell once and that was bc he was angry at my mom for slut-shaming me#im a victim of CSA and ive worked really hard to get past the shame and take control of my sexuality#but my mom is great at slowly reversing all that work#so he got super pissed off at her especially cause she knows about the CSA#anyway hes such a calm and level-headed presence#hes also funny so he makes me laugh and can always cheer me up#we're moving in together in a couple weeks hopefully#I cant wait#chronic pain#chronic disability#spoonie#fibromyalgia#disability#chronic illness
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Doctor Beverly Crusher @SpaceDocMom Space is cold. Put a sweater on. Also remember to take your medications and hydrate. Also unclench your jaw and don't forget to put lotion on that dry patch before it itches you all night tonight. emojis: black heart, blue heart, masked, spoon, pill, water cup, lotion bottle 3:09 PM · May 14, 2024
#star trek#doctor crusher#star trek the next generation#star trek memes#star trek tng#kindness#support#care#compassion#reminders#take your meds#go hydrate#drink some water#unclench your jaw#put lotion on#mom advice#doctor advice#spoons#spoonies
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Reasons I'm basically a cat:
I hate getting wet
I don't enjoy showers or baths
I'm a picky eater
I sleep a lot
I want affections on my own terms
If I say "don't touch me", don't, or I start scratching and biting
When I get the zoomies it's at night
Loud noises bother me
My behaviors are often misinterpreted
#actually autistic#spoonie#cats are my friends#i love cats#mother of cats#high priestess of cats#crazy cat lady#cat mom#disabled homemaker
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being chronically ill and mentally ill like: is the medical professional telling me “relax” repeatedly because they do this with everyone or because i radiate anxiety from my very being?
#throwback to the time that i had to get multiple dental surgeries and my surgeon started prescribing me xanax after the first one#i thought that he did that with everyone#and then i was talking about it with my mom several years later#and she’s like ‘wtaf that’s not normal#you flipped out during your first procedure and he realized that you’re too anxious to deal’#and i’m just like 🫥#personal#spoonie
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First time in my life voting(・_・ヾ
Went in with my disability ID and looking like a wet cat because idk how I’m supposed to vote properly
#Thank goodness the guy there took pity on my soul and explained everything to me or I would’ve been cooked#this hamster is how I was looking inside the voting center fr#I tried googling how to vote but got confused ( ̄ω ̄;)#being autistic be like: no one ever explained you your rights or how to do shit#the guy that helped me was incredibly kind though#I managed to go to the ballot alone thanks to him#my mom was with me the entire time minus that but hey I did something alone for once!#actually autistic#actually disabled#spoonie#disability#apoc#autism spectrum disorder#autism struggles
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My absolute worst nightmare happened. My disabled, OCD/PMDD/PTSD fear…
My mother died suddenly.
My caretaker.
My best friend.
My safe space.
My dad is dead, and now my mom.
I hate myself, I want to die.
I want to hurt myself.
I had a nightmare where I cry out for my mom to wake me up and tell me I’m safe and it’s okay. Only to realize as I was doing that… she’s gone. It’s been a week.
Longer since she first collapsed.
I am scared and I don’t really want to live.
But I promised her before they took her off life support that I would take care of myself, I’d be okay. I’m gonna break generational trauma and make her proud.
So I kind of have to keep going, because she’s told me many times that’s what she wants, and for me to be okay and happy and out of that dark space.
But now I’m left with a dirty, disgusting And humiliatingly gross home. Because after my dad died, and during the pandemic our health/mental health declined.
All I want to do is go home and feel my mom there and feel peace and clean it up. Make her proud. But I’m in pain both physically and mentally. I hate being here without her.
I hate how afraid I am to be alone, but desperately need alone time and space to decompress. I’m incredibly fortunate to have family that’s helping to take care of me right now and help me slowly gain more independence. I’m lucky to have a roof over my head.
But it hurts so fucking much I can’t.
She was supposed to get better. We were supposed to get better together. She was supposed to have more time to finally heal from the trauma and wounds that ultimately killed her. I watched her die slowly, I see her lying on the floor.
It hurts more and is more scary than anything I’ve ever been through. It is all consuming, agonizing, exhausting torture.
I wanted to crawl into that grave with her.
I miss you so much mommy.
#disabled#living with mental illness#living with cptsd#living with ocd#ocd#ptsd#pmdd#living with ptsd#living with disability#spoonie#coping with grief#loss#grieving#greif#i miss my mom
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I am very hungry right now but idk if I have the strength to get up and make something to eat...
I was originally thinking of grabbing something while I was out, but since I was offered a paid cab ride home, I didn't end up doing that. You don't say no to a free ride
But now I am hungry. It is a conundrum
#maybe i can somehow con mom or bro duck into getting me some food....#if all else fails there are choco almonds within reach so i won't die. but i need to have some actual food...#mod post#food#spoonie#chronic pain#fatigue
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I'm actually pretty proud of myself, because even though my orthostatic tolerance was so in the toilet that I couldn't walk anywhere without getting dizzy (consequences of too little hydration and too much time on my feet over Friday-Sunday), I managed to get through nearly all of my 7 and 9 year olds' school assignments for the week today.
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“Do you guys ever think about dying?”
This Barbie is not good enough for anything… but she is doing the best she can under the current circumstances and that’s okay 💕🎀
#joelle's life#this barbie is#barbie#do you guys ever think about dying#midlife crisis#chronic fatigue#invisible disability#spoonie#spoonie mom#motherhood#purple hair#barbie the movie#chronic illness#chronic pain#me#i had to steal a pink bow from my daughter 😂#i'm not good enough for anything
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I hate how many of us physically disabled people have been harassed by street preachers because they see us as a way to prove their faith instead of actual human beings
#wrenfea.exe#first day of college a girl in the hallway was crying on the phone to her mom#because a street preacher had tried to make her take off her brace for her TORN ACL#she didnt want to be rude so she let him pray on her leg#but then he harassed her and tried to get her to take it off#because he didnt actually touch her the campus police wouldnt do anything#he was trying to prove she could walk now bc his prayers fixed her#that poor girl was hysterical and in pain and just wanted to go to class#chronic disability#chronic pain#spoonie#chronic illness#physical disability#physically disabled#cpunk#cripple punk
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Doctor Beverly Crusher @SpaceDocMom People pressuring you to do things that jeopordize your health and safety are not your friends. Don't make me pull out the mom-line about "if your friends jumped off a bridge"! I'd rather say, "Good job!" to those of you who prioritize your safety above social pressure. emojis: black heart, blue heart, masked, spoon 4:46 PM · Sep 20, 2024
#star trek#doctor crusher#star trek the next generation#star trek tng#star trek memes#compassion#support#kindness#care#health care#spoons#spoonies#mask up#safety#mom advice
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Hey fellow spoonies, partner’s mom has pulled her shoulder walking the dog a while back, had surgery for it, and still has aches
(My shoulders are about the only thing I got that do not regularly ache)
I wanna get her a heaty shoulder brace for the holidays, any recommendations? Or just ones to avoid?
#disabled#chronic pain#shoulder brace#spoonie#heated shoulder brace#dog is big and enthused#mom is small and less enthused
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I had a dream last night 🌙 that I had a baby. That chaos was going on around me but I never stopped my loving gaze towards my baby who was holding my finger in their hand. That my cat Taffy came up to greet the baby & brush her cheek up against theirs, just like she does with me. To Taffy this is her way of showing affection. It's like kisses to her. 🥰
Then my baby turned into a toddler, they told me they really liked dinosaurs 🦕. And I told them it didn't matter who the companies made the toys for. If it was for boys or girls. All that mattered was that they enjoyed it. I played dinosaurs with my toddler in my dream as Taffy was always near, keeping a close eye to make sure they were alright.
Then I woke up. It was the sweetest dream. Yet, a hard one to bare. There's a high chance I may never be able to have children. Even adoption isn't an option unless I'm married, due to my specific health conditions. Not to mention this country has monetized adoption which is disgusting. So it makes it so expensive.
My dream in life since I was young child, whenever anyone asked me. Was always to be a Mamma. To raise children of my own. I used to say I didn't even care if I had to do it on my own. I was always so determined that I was going to be a mother one day.
The day doctors explained to me what the combination of having kids and my health conditions would do to me. My heart broke 💔 instantaneously. Though I never gave up hope that my health would one day improve enough to make it easier to handle.
I was told if I wanted to risk it, I needed to do so by the age of 25. Well I'm 25 now. And my health has been worse than ever before. But I'm still not giving up hope. I will never give up hope that somehow, some way, I will be able to have a child to love and raise and cherish.
I appreciate the moments I had in my dream last night. It made me really happy. I will keep trying to improve my health, I will hope with everything I have as I get older with my specific conditions that they won't hinder my ability to have a child safely for both of us. It's always been my dream and I will forever hold onto it. Despite the odds.
#my dreams#life goals#childhood dreams#despite everything#i want to be a mom#dreams#hopes and dreams#goals#chronically ill#chronic illness#adoption#parenting#mom life#heartache#disabled#spoonie stuff#hopefully#hopefulness#not giving up#moms#i had a dream#dreaming#parent life#chronic illness steuggles
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Don’t use other disabled people against each other as a comparison. Just don’t.
#my mom tried being like: ‘but Steven Hawking did this!’ to my sister#it was such bullshit#she then didn’t listen when I said he had accommodations#but yeah don’t fucking do this#disability#actually disabled#spoonie#ableism
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Didn't think I would hate staying home all day as much as I do, but here I am, absolutely despising it.
#thinking about saying fuck it and trying to work one more time#i haven't tried receptionist work yet and there's some openings in my area that pay well#but i have no idea how to start that conversation with my mother#who relies on me for financial support#what am i supposed to say?#'hey mom i know we had to wait months for me to even get an initial appointment with SSI but i'm really think this job could work out'#'so i'm going to cancel my appointments and apply for receptionist jobs instead'#ugh#i hate adulting#kit's diary 6 🖊#disabled#disability#chronic disability#disabled adult#disabled queer#spoonie
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