#spent my WHOLE LIFE WITH YOU AND NOW I JUST HAVE TO BE WITHOUT YOU?? EVEN IF A LOT OF BEING WITH SUCKED???

[lupinqs]

CHAPTER FOURTEEN ━━ Show a Little Loving

❀ ━ pairing: paige bueckers x oc (jo jacobson)

❀ ━ word count: 6.4K

❀ ━ warnings: detailed make out but it doesn’t go any further

❀ ━ links: my masterlist, nobody gets me masterlist

❀ ━ author’s note: think TATBILB

THE NEXT MORNING, Jo woke up feeling like she was in a completely different reality.

Nothing looked different—the room was the same, the dim winter light slipping through the curtains, the soft weight of the blankets tangled around her legs. The air in the cabin was cool, and the scent of coffee and something sweet, maybe cinnamon, lingered in the air from downstairs. Normal. Everything was normal.

Except for the fact that Jo was—and still is—decidedly not.

She’s never been less normal in her entire life.

Because for the first time in her entire life, she likes someone who isn’t Asher Davis.

And that someone is Paige.

When she woke up, Jo stayed frozen under the covers, trying to process it—like if she just laid there long enough, she could force her brain to make it not true. But the weight of it merely pressed down on her, undeniable, suffocating. She felt like she’d just unlocked some secret part of herself she wasn’t supposed to find, like she’d just opened a door that can’t be shut.

She spent the entire night tossing and turning, hyper-aware of every single thing Paige did.

The way Paige curled up beside her like she always does, shifting close like she’s drawn to Jo in her sleep. The way her breath tickled against Jo’s neck, steady and warm. The way she tucked her face into Jo’s shoulder, lips brushing against her skin. Jo barely slept because of it. She just laid there, rigid, heart hammering against her ribs like a drum, panicking.

And then later this morning, when they were brushing their teeth together in the tiny bathroom, Paige kept nudging her shoulder. Jo doesn’t even know if it was on purpose—Paige is like that, casual and comfortable, always touching Jo like it’s second nature—but Jo noticed. She felt it. And it was so stupid, so small, but it sent a wave of something through her, something warm and unbearable and foreign.

And now—now they’re on the ski lift, and Jo is trying so fucking hard to act normal.

It’s not going well.

Paige is sitting way closer than necessary, thighs pressed against Jo’s even though there’s a whole chunk of space open on the other side of the lift. The cold metal bar rests against their laps, and the mountains stretch out below them, snow-covered and endless, but Jo can’t focus on any of it.

She can only focus on Paige.

She doesn’t get it. Paige has always been touchy with her. They’ve shared a bed countless times, always leaned against each other, always sat too close. This isn’t new. This isn’t different. But now, it feels different. It’s like Jo’s senses have been turned all the way up, like she’s suddenly attuned to every single point of contact, like her body is tracking Paige without her permission.

And she doesn’t like it.

She shifts slightly, just enough to put some space between them, but Paige only grins and leans in closer, bumping their shoulders together. “You’re quiet,” Paige says. “Cold?”

Jo forces a shrug, not trusting her voice. She knows it’s uncharacteristic, but everything about her seems to be that way today.

Paige hums like she doesn’t quite believe her, but she doesn’t press.

Jo bites her tongue inside her mouth and stares straight ahead, pretending to be interested in the scenery, pretending her heart isn’t trying to climb out of her throat.

She cannot be weird about this.

She won’t be weird about this.

Because if Paige notices something is off, Jo has no explanation. What the hell is she supposed to say? Sorry, I just realized I have a thing for you and now I can’t function like a normal person anymore?

Absolutely not.

And worse—what if her family notices? They know her better than anyone. If she doesn’t get her shit together, they’ll realize something’s up.

Jo swallows hard, stomach twisting. She can hardly survive herself knowing this—if other people did, she doesn’t know what she’d do.

So she keeps her mouth shut, keeps her body still, and hopes to God this feeling will go away before she completely loses her mind.

And then, thankfully, they reach the top of the lift. Meaning Jo has something else to focus on.

Getting off of it on a snowboard isn’t hard, not really, but it’s definitely not something you want to mess up unless you enjoy face-planting in front of a bunch of strangers. Jo angles her board as the bench slows, pushing herself forward with practiced ease, gliding down the short slope leading away from the drop-off point. She turns just in time to watch Paige follow behind her, arms slightly outstretched, knees stiff.

Paige doesn’t fall—which is honestly impressive for a first-timer—but Jo can tell it’s more luck than skill.

They then make their way over to the side, where Jo’s family is already securing their bindings. Jo sees Paige watche, then follows suit, crouching down and clipping in her back foot like she’s done it before. For a second, Jo thinks maybe she has—that maybe she totally overestimated how difficult this was going to be.

Then Paige stands up.

And just stands there.

Jo doesn’t even have to say anything—she can see the exact moment Paige realizes she has no fucking clue what to do next.

The thing about snowboarding is that, once both feet are strapped in, there’s no casual shuffling around like with skis. You have to commit to your movements, shift your weight with intention, trust the board to follow. Paige, currently, looks like she doesn’t trust anything. She’s frozen in place, weight too evenly distributed, arms slightly hovering like she’s trying to counterbalance pure fear.

Jo’s family doesn’t notice. Of course they don’t. They’re already pushing off, racing down the slope like they forgot they just dragged a complete beginner onto what is definitely not a beginner run.

Which means it’s entirely Jo’s problem now.

Jo sighs and turns back to Paige, who immediately schools her expression into something completely nonchalant, like she wasn’t just panicking a second ago.

“I’m good,” Paige says, nodding.

Jo lifts a brow. “Are you?”

“Yes,” Paige insists, overconfident. “I ski all the time. How hard can it be?”

Jo snorts, shaking her head. “That’s like saying, ‘I can ride a bike, so how hard can a unicycle be?’”

Paige glares. “That’s not the same thing.”

“It’s exactly the same thing.”

Paige groans but doesn’t argue further, which is good, because Jo is pretty sure that if she lets her go down the slope without at least trying to teach her something first, she’s going to have a very injured best friend by the end of the day.

Which—yeah, Paige doesn’t need any more injuries.

Jo drops down onto the snow, motioning for Paige to do the same. “Okay, before you kill yourself—”

Paige sighs. “Very encouraging, thanks.”

“—I’m gonna teach you the basics.”

Paige rolls her eyes but listens as Jo explains how to shift her weight, how to stop using her heel edge, how to not immediately die the second she starts moving. She nods along like she gets it, but Jo knows she doesn’t, because when she tells her to try stopping, Paige just stares at her.

“Like this,” Jo demonstrates, digging into her heel edge and coming to a smooth stop.

Paige squints. “I don’t think my feet can do that.”

Jo gives her a look. “They can. You just have to actually try.”

Paige glares at her, then attempts it—and immediately wobbles so hard she almost eats it.

Jo bites her lip, trying so hard not to laugh, because she knows if she does, Paige will shove her straight into the snow.

Still, watching Paige struggle is… entertaining.

Actually, no, it’s worse than entertaining, because Jo is finding it way too endearing, and that is a problem.

But it’s hard, because Jo is stuck here watching Paige, her flushed cheeks, her concentrated little frown, the way she huffs whenever she messes up but refuses to ask for more help.

Jo has to get it together.

She clears her throat and moves on to the next part—teaching Paige the “falling leaf” technique, which goes just about as well as expected. Paige flails. A lot. She makes little frustrated noises, glares at Jo when she tries to help, insists she’s got it even when she absolutely does not have it.

Jo grins, probably too much, but she can’t help it. She’s never seen Paige like this before. Paige is good at everything—basketball, school, literally any sport she tries—but right now, she’s an absolute disaster.

And Jo finds it so ridiculously cute, it makes her chest constrict.

Why, why, why, why, why?

By the time they move on to full turns, Paige is mildly competent. She’s still wobbly, still too tense, but she starts linking her turns together, starts actually looking like she knows what she’s doing.

Jo watches her, nodding approvingly. “Look at you.”

Paige looks at her, grinning wide, blonde hair slipping out from under her beanie, flushed from the cold, happy.

And Jo—Jo feels something tight in her chest.

Something warm and annoying and confusing and—

She tears her gaze away before it turns into something worse.

Eventually, they decide Paige is ready for the slope.

Jo isn’t entirely sure that’s true, but there’s only so much practicing they can do before Paige gets impatient and wants to actually go somewhere. And Jo gets it. She does. Paige isn’t the type to sit around mastering the basics—she’d rather dive in headfirst, figure it out on the way down.

Which is how they end up at the top of the easier slope—the one Jo’s family didn’t go down.

It’s still not technically beginner-friendly, but it’ll have to do.

Jo studies Paige as she shakes out her arms, shifting her weight back and forth like she’s hyping herself up. She’s still pretending she’s not nervous, but Jo can see it in the way she breathes in deep, lips slightly parted, exhaling like she’s about to take a game-winning shot instead of just… sliding down a hill.

Jo shakes her head, telling the blonde, “You’re gonna be fine.”

Paige doesn’t meet her eyes. “Yep,” she says, sounding uncharacteristically unenthusiastic.

“Mhm,” Jo confirms.

Paige rolls her eyes but doesn’t argue. Instead, she pulls on her goggles. And then she takes a final breath, gives Jo one last I’m totally calm and confident nod, then pushes off.

Jo follows immediately, ready to intervene if Paige immediately eats shit.

She doesn’t.

In fact, Paige actually does an okay job.

She’s still stiff, still a little too tense, but she’s making turns, shifting her weight properly, keeping herself upright. Jo even hears her let out a small whoop at one point, though it quickly turns into something that sounds suspiciously like a scream before she regains control again.

Jo has to laugh. “Not bad, huh?”

Paige breathes out hard. “I’m doin’ great, thank you.”

Jo grins but doesn’t argue. Paige’s balance is still shaky, but she’s improving with every turn, her confidence visibly building—until they get too close.

Jo realizes it a second too late.

She shifts left, trying to create space, but Paige is still a beginner, and she wobbles at the exact wrong time. She catches an edge, stumbling forward, and Jo barely has time to react before she gets caught in it.

“Shit—”

Then, they’re both tumbling.

Jo crashes backward into the snow with a heavy thud, the impact sending a jolt up her spine, her board kicking up powder. Paige lands right on top of her, effectively knocking the air out of her lungs.

Jo groans, blinking up at the sky for a second before lifting a gloved hand to shove her goggles up.

“Shit, bro, that hurt,” Paige mutters against her chest, fumbling with her own goggles, breath puffing out in visible clouds.

Jo exhales sharply, trying to process—not the fall, not the pain, but the fact that Paige is on top of her, head pressing into her heavily layered chest like it belongs there.

She’s too close.

Jo feels it everywhere—Paige’s weight, the warmth of her breath against the fabric of Jo’s jacket, the way her hand is braced against Jo’s sides as she tries to push up, but she’s still struggling with her goggles, fingers catching on the strap.

Jo shakes her head. “You’re a mess—”

Without thinking, she reaches up, gloved fingers brushing against Paige’s cold skin as she pushes her goggles back, slipping them up over her helmet.

Paige shakes her head a little, her other hand dropping to Jo’s side to keep herself balanced.

The world is quiet around them—just the muffled sounds of distant snowboarders, the crunch of powder under shifting weight, the occasional gust of wind.

Paige blinks down at Jo, blue eyes so blue in the snow-bright lighting, her face flushed from exertion, from the cold, maybe from something else too.

And Jo—Jo can’t look away.

Her chest tightens.

Her fingers are still against Paige’s face, and Paige isn’t moving, isn’t pulling back, just watching her with something unreadable in her expression.

Jo’s gaze flickers down—to Paige’s lips, slightly chapped but still soft, still way too close to her own.

And for a second, for one reckless, impulsive, insane second, Jo thinks about leaning in.

The thought sends a jolt through her.

She shoves it down so fast it makes her stomach churn, immediately pushing Paige off of her before she can even fully process what just happened.

“You’re too heavy to be laying on me like that,” she says, trying for humor, but the words come out a little strangled.

Paige grabs her own bearings, letting out a startled laugh, sitting up on her knees. “Hey!”

Jo rolls over, sitting up quickly, dusting snow off her sleeves, trying to act normal, trying to breathe properly, trying not to think about how she almost—

God.

She can’t do this.

PAIGE STEPS out of the bedroom, rubbing at her arms as a shiver wracks through her. She knew changing into just a t-shirt and sweatpants was a bad idea, but her sweatshirt is still damp from falling in the snow earlier, and putting it back on felt like asking for hypothermia. She’ll have to live with it, she guesses, even if the cold air nips at her skin, goosebumps rising along her forearms.

The day has been long, another one spent out on the slopes. Since Paige’s first time on a board yesterday, she’s improved tenfold, and today had been much much more enjoyable, only a few falls to round it out.

She hears movement in the kitchen as she rounds the corner, the soft clinking of mugs and the faint hum of Jo moving around.

Paige slows her steps.

Jo’s back is to her, standing at the counter, stirring something in a mug—hot chocolate, probably, based on the rich scent of cocoa that lingers in the air. The sight of Jo, standing there so effortlessly domestic, makes something warm curl low in Paige’s stomach.

Paige is used to it, at this point. It happens constantly, the unshakable heat that rises whenever Jo does literally anything. Yesterday, it had been on the slope, when Jo helped her up from the snow, when she brushed Paige’s hair out of her face, when she looked at her with something so unreadable, so intense, that Paige had felt frozen in place.

And now—now, it’s just the way Jo stands there, all soft and warm and anything but hers in the low light of the kitchen.

Paige hesitates for a second, then smirks to herself, an idea forming in her head. She moves quietly, barely making a sound as she steps up behind Jo, hands flexing at her sides, anticipation bubbling in her chest.

Then, before Jo can realize what’s happening, Paige strikes—

Cold hands pressing firmly against the back of Jo’s neck.

Jo screams.

It’s high-pitched, startled, and absolutely hilarious.

She jolts forward, nearly sloshing cocoa over the counter, then whirls around, eyes wild, before smacking Paige’s arm, sending a weak but retaliatory shove into her shoulder.

“What is wrong with you?” Jo yelps, voice still breathless from the shock.

Paige is cackling, clutching her stomach. “Oh my God, your face—”

Jo glares at her, rubbing at the back of her neck with a dramatic shudder. “You suck. I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” Paige grins, stepping beside her, nudging her lightly with her hip. Jo just mutters something under her breath and turns back to the counter, still grumbling as she grabs another mug and pours some hot chocolate for Paige, shoving it at her without another word.

They end up drinking together, leaning against the counter in a comfortable quiet, warmth settling between them.

Paige takes a sip of her cocoa, sighing into the comforting heat, before glancing over at Jo—only to immediately snort.

Jo blinks at her, confused. “What?”

Paige just shakes her head, grinning. “Joey, you got a little—”

She gestures vaguely, but Jo just frowns, not getting it, so Paige doesn’t think much before she lifts her hand, reaching out, swiping her thumb carefully across Jo’s upper lip to wipe away the hot-chocolate mustache.

And Paige—Paige really should’ve thought about what she was doing before she did it.

Because suddenly, Jo is looking at her.

Really, really looking at her.

Those wide, dark eyes staring up at Paige, so open, so deep, so endlessly fucking beautiful, and Paige’s breath catches somewhere in her throat.

Her thumb lingers at the corner of Jo’s mouth, pressing lightly into the soft skin there, and Jo doesn’t move. Paige doesn’t even think she breathes.

Her lips part, and Paige’s gaze drops, just for a second, just long enough for something unspoken to crackle between them, thick and heavy and—

The sound of footsteps breaks them apart.

Paige jolts, snatching her hand away so fast it’s almost unnatural.

Jo takes a sharp breath, blinking rapidly, stepping back, shifting away.

And then Peyton waltzes in, completely oblivious to the moment she just shattered, announcing cheerfully, “I’m making cookies, and you two are gonna be my helpers.”

Paige’s heart is still racing, and she shoots a glance at Jo, who looks… composed, somehow, like she didn’t just—like they didn’t just—

But Paige knows her.

She sees the way Jo’s fingers twitch against the mug she’s holding, the way her jaw clenches just slightly, the way her shoulders are drawn just a little too tight.

And Paige knows.

Whatever that was—Jo felt it too.

It doesn’t really undo anything in Paige like it should. Because, recently, things have just been like that. It’s weird.

Paige swallows hard, turning back to Peyton with a too-easy grin. “Oh, yeah, we’ll totally help.”

Jo lets out a quiet laugh beside her, and when Paige glances over, she finds her smirking too, They both know they’ll be no help—if anything, they’ll be a nuisance, eating all of the dough before Peyton can even put it in the oven.

For now, the tension’s been almost buried under something playful, something safe.

But still—Paige knows.

She felt it.

And no matter how hard Jo tries to act normal, no matter how hard Paige tries to shove it down—

It’s still there.

JO LEAVES Mia’s bedroom, closing the door softly behind her as she rakes a hand through her hair. The faint scent of strawberry-scented hair chalk clings to her hoodie, and her fingertips are slightly stained pink and blue from helping Mia color streaks into her light brown hair. It had been cute, how excited she was about it—sitting cross-legged on the bed, practically vibrating with energy as Jo carefully twisted sections of her hair and dragged the chalk down in soft strokes.

Jo’s family does their gifts on Christmas Eve—Jo’s parents are firm believers in the magic of sleeping in on Christmas morning, rather than waking up at the crack of dawn to open presents—and tonight, was just the same as always. The living room had been a mess of ripped wrapping paper and scattered boxes just an hour ago, Jo and her sisters laughing over their gifts, their parents watching with fond amusement. Paige had fit into it like she belonged there, pressed beside Jo for the entirety of it.

Jo frowns slightly as she steps into the hallway, suddenly aware of the quiet that’s settled over the cabin. It had been loud earlier—Peyton arguing with their dad over the rules of a board game, Mia showing off her new gifts, Christmas music playing softly in the background—but now, it’s peaceful. Dim lighting, the distant hum of conversation from the living room. She wonders where Paige went.

She heads toward the kitchen, where her mom is finishing up the last of the dishes, running water humming over the faint clatter of plates. “Where’s P?” Jo asks, leaning against the doorway.

Her mom doesn’t even glance up as she says, “Oh, I think she went out to the hot tub.”

Jo nods, but her chest tightens, just a little.

She turns on her heel and makes her way to the room she and Paige are sharing, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. She exhales, standing still for a moment, debating.

She thinks about joining Paige. Thinks that it’s normal for best friends to do that, to sit in the hot tub together after a long day, soak in the warmth and relax. But she also knows herself, and she knows the way her thoughts have been slipping these last few days, the way she catches herself looking at Paige for too long, noticing things she shouldn’t be noticing. She knows that if she goes out there, if she lets herself be alone with Paige like that, she might not be able to control the way her mind wanders.

Whatever, she decides. She wants to get in the hot tub.

So, she grabs the bikini she packed, changing quickly before wrapping herself in a towel. The air in the cabin is warm, but she knows the second she steps outside, the mountain air will cut through her like a blade. Still, she forces herself forward, padding toward the back deck, bare feet light against the wood floor.

When she opens the back door, the cold hits her immediately, biting at her exposed skin. She shivers, hissing, “Shit, it’s freezing out here.”

Paige startles slightly, turning her head. She’s sitting in the hot tub alone, the water bubbling gently around her, steam rising in wisps. Her eyes catch the deck light for a second, flickering bright, and she huffs a quiet laugh. “It’s warmer in here.”

Jo rolls her eyes, setting her towel down on a nearby chair. “Oh, really?” she says, sarcastic, before stepping into the hot tub.

And then her gaze fully lands on Paige, and—well, fuck.

She looks good.

It’s not like Jo hasn’t seen Paige in a sports bra, in oversized sweats, in all kinds of casual, effortless outfits. But this is different. Her blonde hair is down, slightly wavy, damp at the ends. Her bikini is turquoise, standing out against her skin, making her eyes even more blue in the soft deck lighting. And—shit, Jo shouldn’t be looking—her biceps. Jo knows she’s been training through her ACL recovery, knows she’s been getting stronger, but she hasn’t let herself really notice until now. Hasn’t let herself register the way Paige’s arms look, the lean muscle in her shoulders. And then there’s the cross chain hanging at her collarbone, resting against her skin, catching just enough light to make it glint faintly.

Jo swallows hard, forcing herself to look away, sinking into the water as she exhales. The warmth is immediate, a contrast to the crisp night air, and she tries to focus on that instead of the low, lazy grin Paige is giving her.

“You finally decided to join me,” Paige murmurs, shifting slightly, the water rippling around her.

Jo smirks, because it’s easier than letting anything real show. “Yeah, well, I figured you’d get lonely.”

Paige rolls her eyes but doesn’t argue, stretching her arms along the edge of the hot tub, tilting her head back slightly. Jo catches herself staring at the curve of her throat, the faint glisten of water against her collarbone, and quickly looks away.

This is fine.

Paige doesn’t seem to notice the way Jo’s whole body is too tight, too aware, too much as she leans back against the edge of the hot tub. Instead, she shifts slightly, gaze flickering away from Jo, looking out toward the mountains. Jo follows her line of sight, letting herself focus on the view instead of the heat curling in her stomach, the undeniable feeling of wanting something she isn’t supposed to want.

The view really is something.

The mountains stretch high and dark against the night sky, the peaks dusted with snow, the stars scattered above them like someone spilled glitter across the horizon. The air is sharp with the scent of pine and frost, the only sounds the occasional distant rustle of wind through trees and the soft bubbling of the water around them. Jo’s been coming here since she was a kid, since before she could even really appreciate how incredible it was. It never gets old.

Paige exhales, voice quiet, almost reverent. “It’s kinda perfect here.”

Jo glances at her again, at the way the dim deck lights reflect in her eyes, making them almost glow. And for a second, Jo doesn’t think she’s talking about the view at all.

“Yeah,” Jo agrees, looking away, looking anywhere else. “It is.”

Silence settles between them, thick but not uncomfortable. Jo tries to let herself relax into it, but then she hears the shift of water, the subtle movement before she feels it—before she realizes that Paige is moving closer to her.

She tenses before she can stop herself, her fingers curling under the water.

And then Paige is looking at her again, something soft in her gaze, something almost vulnerable, like she wants to say something but isn’t sure if she should. It’s a rare look for Paige, whose confidence is as natural as breathing, who always seems to know exactly what to say and when to say it.

“Thank you for inviting me,” Paige says, and her voice is quiet but serious, enough that it throws Jo off for a second.

Jo swallows, holding eye contact with her for a long moment before looking down at the water, watching the way the steam curls off the surface. Her face suddenly feels warm in a way that has nothing to do with the hot tub. “Well, it’s not like I’d ever let you stay at campus by yourself on Christmas,” she murmurs.

Paige tilts her head slightly, considering that. “Yeah,” she says slowly, “but a lot of people wouldn’t have just let someone tag along with their family for the holidays.”

Jo looks up again, furrowing her brows, because the way Paige says it—like she was expecting Jo not to invite her—rubs her the wrong way. “You’re not just any someone, though, P,” she says, voice firm. “You’re my—”

She stops short, the words catching in her throat, because—well…

She doesn’t actually know what this is anymore.

She’s never let herself think too hard about it, about the way they slipped into each other’s lives so fast, like gravity pulling them together. Her roommate, her teammate, her best friend. But none of those words feel right for this, for the way her heart is hammering, for the way Paige is looking at her.

Paige shifts closer still, the movement rippling through the water, stealing the air from Jo’s lungs.

“Hm?” Paige hums, like she’s waiting for Jo to finish.

Jo forces herself to breathe, gripping the edge of seat in the hot tub just to have something to do with her hands. She exhales sharply, shaking her head once, barely. “You’re just—my person,” she settles on, because best friend doesn’t suit the way her pulse is thrumming, doesn’t suit the way her entire body is tuned into Paige’s every shift, every breath.

She makes eye contact again, and—Paige isn’t looking at her eyes anymore.

She’s looking at Jo’s lips.

That’s definitely not something best friends do.

Jo’s stomach flips violently, her entire body going stiff with tension, with awareness, with want. Paige’s gaze flickers back up, just for a second, and Jo swears she sees something shift in her expression—like realization, like something clicking into place, like maybe, maybe she’s been thinking about this just as much as Jo has.

The air between them is heavy, electric, charged with something neither of them are saying.

And then it snaps all at once when Paige shifts even closer, so close Jo can feel the faintest brush of her knee against hers under the water, and Paige says, “Jo?”

It’s quiet, almost hesitant, and it’s the first time Jo has ever heard Paige say her name like that, like it means something more.

It undoes her completely.

She doesn’t think. Doesn’t even hesitate.

She just moves.

Leans in instead of pulling away, lets her eyes flicker shut as she presses her lips to Paige’s, her heart slamming against her ribs.

And Paige—Paige doesn’t pull away.

Paige kisses her back.

It’s soft at first, like they’re both testing the waters, and Jo melts into it, lets herself get lost in the warmth of it. Paige’s lips are soft, gentle against hers, and Jo feels like she could drown in the way Paige tilts her head just slightly, deepening the kiss.

And then—something shifts.

The hesitation begins to fade. Paige moves in closer, her hands finding the skin of Jo’s waist under the water, and Jo exhales shakily against the blonde’s mouth because oh.

Paige kisses like she plays basketball—effortless, confident, like she knows exactly what she’s doing. Like she’s taking her time memorizing Jo, mapping her out piece by piece. Jo barely has time to process it before her body reacts on instinct, her fingers reaching out, finding Paige’s shoulders, gripping just tight enough to keep her as close as possible.

The heat between them rises, spreading through Jo’s chest, making her lightheaded. She’s hasn’t felt something like this in a long time—if ever, really. This dizzying, overwhelming need. She can’t remember if it was ever like this was Asher. Jo was always just so used to him—but Paige… Paige is entirely different.

Paige kisses fast yet slow, soft yet rough, the perfect mix. She shifts again, pressing in closer, and Jo can’t help but chase her, tilting her head, her fingers slipping up from Paige’s shoulders to thread into damp blonde hair. Paige makes a soft, pleased sound against her lips, and Jo swears she feels it all the way down to her toes.

Jo’s needy now, desperate in a way that catches her off guard, but she hardly finds it in herself to care. She tightens her grip on Paige, her nails digging into her scalp, pulling her impossibly closer because it’s still not enough.

Jesus fuck, Paige is a good kisser.

The blonde lets Jo take control for a moment, lets Jo press her back against the edge of the hot tub, but then—just as quickly—Paige is taking the lead again. Her grip on Jo’s waist tightens, fingers pressing into slick, warm skin as she shifts them, pulling Jo forward, guiding her onto her lap. Jo’s breath stutters as her bare thighs press against Paige’s, her knees pressing into the edge of the seat on either of Paige’s hips.

Paige’s grip is firm, her touch sure and steady in a way that makes Jo’s skin feel like it’s burning.

She should say something, do something, anything other than let out the small, helpless sound that slips past her lips as Paige pulls her in tighter.

But she does. And Paige hears it.

And something about it—about that quiet, desperate little noise—seems to spur Paige on, because then she’s tilting her head, chasing Jo’s lips again, capturing them in a kiss that’s deeper, hungrier than before. Her tongue slips into Jo’s mouth, licking around, and Jo inhales sharply at it.

Jo’s mind is a mess, spinning wildly, but all she can focus on is this—Paige, the way she tastes, the way she feels, the way every press of her lips, every swipe of her tongue, sends electricity straight through Jo’s veins.

The second Paige’s lips leave hers, Jo almost whimpers at the loss.

Her breath is uneven, chest rising and falling rapidly as moves beneath her, her lips ghosting away from Jo’s mouth, trailing down, down, down—until they’re pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses against the sharp line of her jaw.

Jo swears she forgets how to breathe, her hand tightening in Paige’s hair, half-gripping her chain, as well.

Paige doesn’t stop. She presses a kiss to the spot just beneath Jo’s ear, and Jo shudders, her fingers tightening in Paige’s hair. She can feel the heat of Paige’s breath against her skin, feel the way Paige’s lips part just enough for her tongue to sweep out.

Paige’s hands grip onto the skin of Jo’s waist before one begins to slide up, fingertips tracing Jo’s spine before settling firmly at the back of Jo’s neck, holding her in place. Paige’s other hand trails from her hip, down to the curve of Jo’s ass, palming and kneading it in a way that makes the brunette feel the need to clench her thighs together—anything to relieve the ache growing between them.

Instead, she makes a noise—something soft and high-pitched, something that she doesn’t even realize she’s made until Paige reacts to it.

Paige groans a little, exhaling sharply, her lips nipping along the column of Jo’s throat, her tongue sweeping across the skin to soothe it. Jo’s head tips back before she can stop herself, before she can think, before she can do anything other than feel.

And God, she feels everything.

Paige’s mouth, Paige’s hands, the firm grip keeping her exactly where Paige wants her.

Jo’s heart pounds, and she doesn’t know if it’s from heat of the water or the heat of Paige, but she feels like she’s burning from the inside out.

She tries not to think about what this means, about how everything is changing, about how she’ll have to deal with this later.

She tries not to think about whether Paige wants this the same way she does.

Paige has a roster. That much, Jo knows. She’s seen it, heard it, talked to some of it—mostly just Celeste, but still. Jo knows that all of this stuff is casual and fleeting for Paige, just another part of her life.

But Jo isn’t like that. She doesn’t do this kind of thing. She doesn’t let herself get swept up in the moment, something that could be nothing, in something that might not mean anything to the other person. Seriously, she literally dated the same person for nearly six fucking years.

But then—what could this be? Paige is her best friend, her teammate, her roommate. If they became something more, they couldn’t fuck it up because it could ruin everything. Not to mention the fact that it hasn’t even been a month since Jo and Asher broke up. She’s still trying to mend that crack in her heart.

All of these thoughts should make her pull away. It should make her stop.

But they don’t.

Because right now, with Paige’s lips on her neck and her hands holding Jo so close, it feels like none of that even matters.

Right now, Jo doesn’t care if this is just another fleeting thing for Paige or if she should even be doing this with a break-up so fresh.

Because right now, Paige wants her.

And Jo wants Paige.

So, she lets herself have it.

She tightens her grip in Paige’s hair, tugs just slightly, just enough to pull Paige’s mouth back to hers, just enough to draw another satisfied sound from Paige’s throat. Paige’s nose nudges Jo’s as she tilts her head, pressing into the kiss again, deep and slow and absolutely devastating.

And Jo lets herself get lost in it.

That is, until the sound of the back door opening shudders around them.

Jo feels her entire body jolt like she’s been electrocuted. The heat from the hot tub is nothing compared to the fire scorching under her skin, the way her heart slams against her ribs like it’s trying to break free. Beside her, Paige reacts just as quickly—springing away, water sloshing violently between them, the absence of her warmth immediately and startling. Jo doesn’t dare look at her, doesn’t dare move, because if she does, she’ll have to genuinely acknowledge what’s just happened. She’ll have to process the way her lips still tingle, the way her chest is still heaving, the way Paige was just kissing her like she fucking meant it.

But she doesn’t have time for that, not when Mia—innocent, unsuspecting Mia—is standing by the back door in her little Rudolph-themed swimsuit, eyes bouncing between Jo and Paige like she’s trying to put the pieces together.

“Hi…” the little girl says slowly, tilting her head.

Paige is the one that moves first.

“Um,” she stammers, her voice higher than usual, her hands flexing uselessly at her sides as she stands up too fast, nearly slipping in the water. “I’mma—uh, I’m just gonna—shower. Yeah—shower.”

Jo watches, still slightly frozen where she sits, as Paige snatches up her towel with more urgency than necessary and books it inside without so much as a glance back. The door slides shut behind her, leaving only the ghost of her presence and the realization of what’s just occurred.

Jo is still stuck, still trying to catch up, still trying to make sense of the fact that she kissed Paige—she kissed Paige—and Paige kissed her back—and—

And then Mia lowers herself into the water, grinning.

That fucking grin.

Jo narrows her eyes before Mia can even open her mouth. “Don’t.”

Because… yeah, she just—can’t talk about this yet. Maybe never.

Jo clenches her jaw, her teeth grinding together as she stares down at her hands as if they hold all the answers. Maybe they do—because just moments ago, they were holding Paige.

Jesus, what has she gotten herself into?

[hrrtshape]

hi lovely!! i literally screamed when i saw the post of you shifting, you're my beyoncé. anyway, cause you've experienced shifting for long periods of time (15 days🥳) , does it ever feel like you have imposter syndrome / feeling out of place while you're there?? or like there's an impending doom for when you'll come back? i'm sorry this is terribly worded idk how to express my own fears of this 😵‍💫 did you feel as though you belonged? like it was yours completely? maybe i'm just overthinking but that feeling is a fear of mine. thank you!! (btw i'm thrilled for you!!) 💋 💋

fifteen days of silk & then a faceplant into the pavement. AKA my adjustment period.

it’s the morning after after, and i am back. back where? back here. alright. i’m back. ta-da. curtain drop. applause. except no one is clapping, and i don’t have the grace to bow. i woke up, and the ceiling wasn’t mine. the sheets weren’t mine. the air wasn’t the same expensive, citrine-tinged, cocktail-laced kind of air that had been curling in my lungs for two weeks. and i, hypocritical sucker that i am, had the nerve to be shocked about it.

i mean, sure. i knew it was coming. you don’t get to play house with a world that isn’t your baseline forever. but the thing is, i didn’t leave on purpose. i didn’t wake up with some cinematic, soft-focus farewell to my penthouse and my perfect cheekbones and my whole life of rich-girl ease. i got bpd'ed out of there. i had a moment, no, a stroke, full collapse, full-sent spiral. and the next thing I knew, i was here, in this reality, where my skin feels like it's on a half-second delay and my body doesn't move quite right.

fifteen days. the number sits heavy on my tongue for a reason. a reality where i belonged in the way that swans belong to lakes. without question, without effort, slipping into the water as if it were their own reflection. my existence hummed in sync with the great, golden machine of my cr, and yet. and yet.

did i ever feel out of place? i don’t think out of place is the right word. it wasn’t a foreignness, not an exile, more like standing in a room where you know every guest, yet you catch your own reflection and flinch. who is she? the one with pearls at her throat, ease in her fingertips, a name that opens doors before it’s even fully spoken. she is me. she was me. she was me for fifteen days, and then i blinked, and she is somewhere else, still living, still breathing, still slipping into taxis and tilting her chin in the golden hour light.

and yeah. it stings. a lot. like falling out of a dream where someone loved you exactly right, only to wake up and realise your phone is on 2%, your bank account is a joke, and the best thing in your fridge is an almost-empty bottle of soy milk. i spent fifteen days in a world where i never had to check my bank account because obviously i was wealthy, and now i have to talk myself down from a full-fledged existential crisis just because i blinked and lost it.

so, do i feel like it was ever really mine? and the answer is: yes, yes, of course, yes. i don’t care what reality says. i belonged there like my name was engraved on the buildings. i had favourite cafés, i had people, i had a version of myself so polished and effortless she felt inevitable. i belonged there in the way that clouds belong to the sky, like obviously, what else would i be doing?

and yet. and yet !!!!

i woke up here. which means what? that this reality wins by default? that i’m supposed to accept it, tuck myself back into it like an old sweater, pretend like my body doesn’t feel like it got kicked out of the garden of eden for crying too hard? i don’t know. i don’t know. what i do know is that the transition is brutal, and i miss myself. i miss the version of me that didn’t have to think about belonging, because she just did. i miss the feeling of it, the seamlessness, the way my life there was perfectly hemmed to fit me.

but i won’t lie. i woke up today, and for a split second, i expected the skyline to still be waiting for me. i expected to turn my head on the pillow and see the drape of new york twilight against a window that was mine. instead, i saw this world, my room, this life. it took me a breath, a deep one, the kind that scalds the lungs, to remember that i belong everywhere i have ever been. the city does not crumble because i have left it. it remembers me. it holds my laughter in its pavements, my perfume in the folds of its air. i will return. i will always return.

maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually. and when i do, i’ll stay longer. i’ll land softer. i’ll make sure the next time i wake up, it’s because i decided to.

[lexirosewrites]

Ficlet idea, designer Eddie and model Steve

OH NO OMFG this prompt was from a year and a half ago (September 2023) because i apparently wrote this whole thing and then accidentally lost it in my drafts😭😭😭 might as well post it now!

A New Muse

Eddie can’t say how he went from the Indiana trailer park to having his own collection at New York Fashion Week without explaining that things like that don’t usually happen to people like him.

Maybe it was the luck of being born an alpha. Or maybe it was just stupid fate.

Who knows? Certainly not him.

And although he’s been used to the lifestyle of excess and glamor for a while now, sometimes the world he lives in now still manages to amaze him.

All it took was a lucky break and his work being seen by the right people. Then he’d been whisked away to riches and fame, his name becoming known by every young adult in a matter of months.

Suffice to say that by this point, Eddie wasn’t overly surprised when he was asked to do a feature piece in a big time magazine. The editor had specifically requested for him to design a few grunge menswear outfits to be modeled alongside the article about his rise to success.

Eddie spent weeks grueling over his designs, making sure all his pieces were representative of the kind of work he does, but it was a struggle to create something that he was proud of and that would explain his vision of fashion.

The interview itself was simple enough, just a handful of questions by someone who already knew far too much about his life. They skirted around his less than pretty past and played up the rags to riches aspect that everyone loved to oversell when it comes to alphas.

And then came the photoshoot.

Eddie had been given measurements of an up-and-coming model who would be showcasing all of the designs. Supposedly, the guy was fine modeling both masculine and feminine clothing, so Eddie was able to keep his sizing consistent across the board.

The only mistake was that he was never given a photo of the model. Or told that he was an omega.

He had no clue that the model would be the most stunning man he’s ever seen.

“Hi, I’m Stevie,” the angle introduced himself with a dimpled smile and wide eyes. His scent dripping with sugary sweetness. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Eddie almost forgets to shake his hand, too enamored with the beautiful omega being presented to him on a platter. He recovers enough to slip his hand into the waiting one.

“I’m an alpha.”

That’s definitely not what he meant to say.

Steve chuckles, a soft charming little thing.

“Good to know. Do you have a name, alpha?”

Eddie’s tongue feels too big for his mouth. He might be drooling. He’s definitely lightheaded.

The omega called him alpha. He could be his alpha.

“Um, I’m so sorry! Eddie! It’s Eddie!” he spits out in a rush, attempting to recover from his temporary lapse in sanity.

Another angelic noise of amusement.

“You’re sweet, Eddie,” Steve tells him, sounding slightly forlorn about it. “But I can’t date a coworker.”

Eddie can practically feel his ears pin back against his head in disappointment like a kicked puppy.

“Oh. Right, yeah, no that makes sense. Smart idea. Gotta be careful when you’re a professional.” His voice is thin and unconvincing.

Being rejected by a perfect angel hurts more than he thought it would.

Steve’s perfectly plump lips turn upward slowly.

“But if you find me after the shoot when we’re not coworkers anymore, you can buy me coffee. That is… if you let go of my hand so I can do my job first.”

Jesus Christ.

Eddie had never let go of his hand.

He loosens his grip long enough for Steve to make it through the shoot and then he vows to never let go again.

They’re mated a year later, right before Steve changes his modeling demographic to maternity photoshoots instead.

And Eddie finds his lifelong muse.

[eddiegettingshot]

it's only been a little while since eddie woke up with amnesia and of course buck is like not sure how to navigate this since his whole life has fallen out under his feet he has lost eddie so many times it's getting kind of comical at this point. and he's trying really really really hard to be good and figure out what's appropriate to do and how to act when your best friend you're obsessed with doesn't remember you at all and only has maybe two weeks of hospital memories with you to work with (buck spent those two weeks trying to make the best possible impression... like... it turned out pretty well the first time but he might as well take advantage of the opportunity to show post-tree eddie that he is totally worth re-befriending right...). so maybe when it's time for eddie to be discharged he—well he doesn't keep his distance exactly but he doesn't want to overdo it he is NOT going to make this about him too. eddie has to cope with so much. so maybe he tries stepping back... he's gonna hover in the doorway... let bobby figure it out with eddie maybe... and he'll just help out in any way he can. whatever eddie needs. he's there. but it's not like they're best friends right now (or are they? is there some kind of liminal best friendism?). he walks in with some shitty hospital coffee just in case eddie wants it and amnesiac eddie looks up and smiles. and is like. heeeeey buck. you ready? and buck's like Um. ready? and eddie's like. oh i—chris said you'd be fine giving us a ride home, is that—? and buck (thinking oh my god YAY!!!! he is being proprietary!!! he wants me to give him a ride home!!!!!) goes Oh Yes. Of Course. No Yeah Of Course I'm Giving You A Ride Home! Just Had To Grab Some Coffee For The Road. Btw I Have Your Sunglasses In My Pocket If Your Eyes Start To Hurt. and eddie says hey thanks man :) it's been nice knowing i got a friend like you in my corner even if i don't know you yet. i know the last couple of weeks would have been way harder for chris without you :) and buck goes oh my god! he is still in there my eddie is still in there!!!!!!!

[bekolxeram]

A whole day late to @bucktommyfluffebruary's day 1 prompt: non-sexual intimacy. Inspiration strikes suddenly, what can I say?

You can also read it on AO3.

Golden Hour

rated G | 1027 words

“Morning, team!” Buck walks into the firehouse with an extra bounce in his step, looking the most carefree he’s been for months.

“What got you so… woah,” Hen begins questioning, but stops in the middle of the sentence once she fully turns around and takes a good look of her strangely jovial co-worker.

“What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?” Buck instinctively touches his face in response to Hen’s reaction. He has a hard time deciphering her expression; She seems… surprised, astonished, but at the same time, shocked, and confounded.

“No! Not really. You seem… happier,” Hen puts on a reassuring smile, “but the bags under your eyes seem like they came straight from the Milan Fashion Week, and your hair looks like you’ve just rolled out of bed.”

The entire 118 bore witness to Buck’s post-Tommy heartbreak. Yes, he obsessively checked his phone and got addictive to baking, maybe he let his stubble grow out a day or two more than it should, but he never, ever, neglected personal hygiene or grooming. He always made sure to dress like a functioning member of the society before heading to work, what happened outside of shift was his own business.

“I used to know someone like this at school,” Chimney joins in. “His girlfriend dumped him just before summer break. Then he came back to school looking like a hobo, but at the same time, happy as the Buddha. He told me he went on a trip to discover himself.”

“But Buck was with us last shift, 48 hours ago. What life-changing destination could he have gone to in such a short amount time?” Hen furrows her brows in confusion.

“By trip, I mean an acid trip,” Chimney snickers, then he turns to face Buck in chorus with Hen, waiting for an answer.

“I can assure you, I’ve never taken any mind altering substance before coming to work. That would be irresponsible!” Buck objects, attempting to halt this dangerous speculation at once.

Just as Hen and Chimney are about to interrogate further, Eddie chimes in while slowly sipping on his coffee, “Buck and Tommy are back together without telling us.”

Gasps, then cheers fill the room.

“Wait, how? Did Tommy tell you?” Buck asks.

“No one told me anything,” Eddie takes another sip from his mug, “I can just tell, from your hair.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Oh! Yeah!” Hen’s whole face is lit up by her realization, “the hair thing, right?” She vaguely gesture at her head.

“Exactly.” Eddie snaps his fingers at Hen.

“What hair thing?” It’s now Buck’s turn to be utterly confused.

“I don’t get it either,” Chimney turns his attention to his brother-in-law. “Is Tommy bad at picking shampoo? Or hair product? Can’t you just bring your own?”

“Um… I don’t know.”

“You’ll get it once you’ve spent enough time with them,” Eddie sighs.

“I’ve spent plenty of time with them. One is my oldest friend, the other is my brother by marriage!”

“With both of them together, as a third wheel,” Eddie adds.

Chimney grimaces. “Ugh, no! Is it a sex thing?”

“It’s appropriate safe in public,” Hen clarifies, “as long as you don’t find two people of the same gender being in love inappropriate.”

“Oh, okay,” Chimney nods in understanding, “but, what about the bags under your eyes?”

“Um… Tommy and I…”

Buck’s interrupted by Eddie.

“Stop. That one’s definitely a sex thing.”

It takes Chimney another few months to figure out what the “hair thing” actually is.

Buck and Tommy have been invited to dinner at the Han’s.

The four of them were anxious about the possible awkwardness, but Chimney and Tommy settle right back into their old buddy dynamic once the conversation starts flowing.

“I think you two fixed my brain when you showed up all sooty at the hospital. I was groggy all week, but connecting the dots that you guys had been making out? That was the first time I felt like I could finally think clearly,” Chimney recounts his experience coming down with viral encephalitis, and marrying the love of his life at a hospital.

“A hospital, what is it?” Tommy asks, barely containing his giggle.

“It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now,” Chimney bursts into laughter in unison with Tommy by the time his finishes his sentence.

“Um… What’s the joke?” Maddie asks, while both Buckley siblings frown, seemingly puzzled.

“Airplane! The greatest comedy movie of all time!” Chimney exclaims.

“And the most quotable,” Tommy supplements.

“Neither of you have watched Airplane? Tommy, you didn’t introduce your man to the most influential film in your life?”

The Buckley siblings shake their head.

“Alright, we’re watching it after dinner.”

Chimney has seen Airplane! countless times before. The simple, sometimes childish humor of this classic has been his go-to for years whenever he needs a pick-me-up.

He may have the ability to recite the entire movie from start to finish, but the source of the enjoyment now comes from watching his friends and loved ones’ reaction to this comedic masterpiece, to experience the amusement and wonder anew from their fresh eyes.

“We have clearance, Clarence.”

“Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?”

Chimney turns to focus on the viewers’ reaction, instead of the screen.

Maddie’s almost crying with laughter, while shoving a few kernels of popcorn into her mouth. Popcorn with butter and pickle juice, the exact snack she’s been craving.

Buck, on the other hand, is laying his head onto Tommy’s shoulder.

And Tommy, he absentmindedly anchors his hand into Buck’s hair, and ruffles the curls around.

Chimney himself would gladly push off whoever dares to touch his carefully styled hair, but Buck’s happily leans into his boyfriend’s touch.

“Is that correct phraseology in aviation?” Buck beams at Tommy, half flirting and half genuinely asking to satisfy his curiosity.

“Yeah, more or less. That’s why it’s a classic,” Tommy gazes back at Buck softly, hand still messing up the younger man’s hair.

Buck shows his dimples, nestles his head at the crook of Tommy’s neck, and continues watching the movie.

My brother is in good hands.

Chimney tells himself silently.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Long time no see…

wow it’s been a while…

for starters: i just want to say thank you to @lenaboskow and @mazzystar24

the two of you have stuck by me through the whole rollercoaster that has been my break from tumblr and i don’t think i would have wver come back if it wasn’t for the two of you, so thank you both for being such amazing, talented, beautiful, gorgeous friends to me through it all ❤️

and to those who have sent me kind asks/messages while i’ve been gone, thank you all for the kind words of support and encouragement as well- you are each appreciated so deeply and i can’t thank you enough!

so… a few things have happened while I’ve been gone

the first of which being my 22nd birthday in october which thankfully was spent with AC and a hot shower after having been without power for 12 days in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene; despite the inconvenience of having no power or water in those 12 days, i was still immensely lucky to have been safe and received no damage to my home unlike countless others who unfortunately are still recovering from the storm.

the other major-ish life update from my time away:

i adopted a puppy!!!

in early october (in fact, while we were still without power), I adopted this precious little girl (called ellie) from my local humane society.

she was around 3 months old when i adopted her, and in the beginning of January, she turned 6 months.

she has been a massive help in managing my anxiety and depression, keeping me company and giving me something to love and care for, and in the few months i have had her, she’s already wrapped me around her paw

i could not have asked for a better fur baby than her ❤️ she is probably the best thing that happened to me in 2024, and I cannot wait to see all the adventures life takes her on.

In other news; I’m back!

I had made the decision a few months ago to step away from tumblr as the landscape leading up to the s8 premiere of 9-1-1 was immensely difficult and taxing on my mental health, and I realized that it wasnt healthy to feel the way I so strongly did about the show or the fandom, and I needed to take a step back, alter the way i approached the show and fandom, and refocus on other things.

one of those things was refocusing on my job. shortly before i took a break, i had started a new job and was still very much in the training phase when i made the decision to take a break from tumblr. since then, i have been focusing on establishing myself as a reliable hardworking employee at my job, and i’ve also been focusing on the future;

i currently plan to take a flight attendant training course to become certified, and eventually find work with an airline.

because of this, 9-1-1 and the fandom have taken a back seat to more important things.

that being said, i still watched the entirety of 8a (not live, but a few days after airing once i had the chance to grill sarah and addie about what happened each episode- i have a lot of opinions on how things have gone and seem to be going but now is not the time nor place for that). i have still posted the occasional fic on ao3, and i am still working on my various wips as i am able to

i eventually realized how much i truly did miss being a part of the fandom, and have made the choice to come back, but going forward, i’m going to be doing things differently:

1. i will not be engaging in speculation or anything of that nature about future episodes- all it does is give me anxiety that manifests through frustration and i don’t want to continue feeding into that

2. i am going go be returning to my original philosophy of “the block and delete buttons are my friends.” in the last few weeks before my break, i found myself engaging more and more with toxic fans rather than just blocking them or deleting their replies to my posts- that won’t be happening anymore: if you come on my page being toxic or rude, you will be blocked and ignored because i do not have time for that shit

3. i want to branch out to other fandoms- this will remain a 9-1-1 blog first and foremost, and the majority of what i post will be related to 9-1-1, but i will also occasionally make posts about other fandoms/media that i have an interest in

4. most of what i post will either be fic related, headcanon related, or memes. as stated above, i do not have a healthy relationship with spec, and therefore i am not going to foster that by actively involving myself in it.

all that said, i’m really gald to be back, and i’m looking forward to being involved again! i hope everyone who stuck to the end of this long ass re-introduction post is having a wonderful morning, afternoon, or evening wherever you are in the world <3

[marinettesaltprompts]

Marinette Salt Prompts: Truth and Lies if they did it again.

Ok so I just saw Ilustrhater today and I ... well I feel that this prompt writes itself doesn't it?

After Alya left with Nino to go investigate the new wielder of the Butterfly Miraculous, Marinette was left alone with Adrien. Sure, Marinette was unsure about what to do, but it would be fine! All she had to do was talk to him ... right?

Well, that seemed to be impossible for Marinette. Unable to talk to her ACTUAL boyfriend, Marinette decided to run off, having used a nearby fire as an excuse to transform, leaving Adrien alone at the cinema for two WHOLE hours because transforming and running off was TOTALLY better idea than asking Adrien what he wanted out of their relationship.

Of course, she was REALLY sorry when she came back to find Adrien still standing there and the movie had already finished, so she tried to make it up to him by bringing him to a nearby cafe. Hopefully that would fix the rest of the day...

Only for that to fail when Marinette once again was unable to talk to her boyfriend. Having ordered some wierd cookies and having accidentally kicked Adrien under the table, she decided to run off again and transform to help Sabrina with a cat stuck in a tree.

It was coincidental that an akuma chose to appear sometime after and Ladybug was there to stop it, but by the time she had detransformed, the ENTIRE DAY had passed without a single bit of communication with Adrien.

Sometime later, Marinette invited Adrien out to another movie, but when he finally got there, Marinette was shocked to find that he had no interest in watching a movie. Instead, he was here to break up with her.

As Marinette and Adrien stood over a bridge, Marinette was starting to tear up as Adrien explained he had no interest in this relationship anymore. Between having lost his father and having been in a prior relationship with Kagami, Adrien told her that as much as he cared about Marinette, he was not willing to put himself in a relationship where his S.O. would run off on him like that, especially since he had already done that to Kagami unintentionally. He missed his father, sure, but he could not forget how his father practically avoided him for most of his life since his mother's death.

Of course, Marinette tried to talk him out of it. Saying that she cares for him, that she had a good reason for running off that day, that he was someone very important to her, but Adrien was having none of that.

Adrien: I still don't understand. Why would you run away? We were supposed to spend the day with each other and just have a good time.

Marinette: I just .... im sorry.... I have no idea how I'm supposed to act in a relationship.

Adrien: Well... admittedly I don't really know either, but I thought that we could have tried to figure this out together. That if I just spent the day with you, I could figure out how to be good enough for you.

Marinette: We still can Adrien. You are good enough, great enough even! Just please ... stay with me. Trust Me.

Adrien: I... I can't. When you left me alone that day... I felt like I lost my family again for the third time. First my mother, then my father, and now the person I love went out of my life. You're telling me to trust you, but how can I trust you when you run off like this? Can I trust that you will stay by my side when I feel the same way? I.... no. I'm sorry Marinette, but this is over. Between everything that happened and now this... I don't think I can be in love again. Not for a while.

Adrien left Marinette in the twilight of Paris, not looking back even as the Heroine of Paris wept and grieved.

[literary-illuminati]

2025 Book Review #5 Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

This was a book recommended by a friend an absolute eternity ago which I finally got around to reading, having long since forgotten any of its selling points or interesting qualities which might have accompanied the recommendation. Going in blind, I quite enjoyed the book as I read it, finished it feeling it had ended somewhat anticlimactically, and have grown a bit more sour on it as I thought about it to write this review. It’s not a bad book – still a fun, easy read! - but I’m not sure it’s really much more than that.

The book is structured as an oral history – or maybe the transcript of a documentary – about the titular band, a musical phenomenon that set the world on fire for a moment in the late ‘70s before dramatically breaking up halfway through the tour after releasing one of the best albums of the decade. Aside from bits of narration and scene-setting at the start of each chapter (and one conversation in the climax) the documentarian is invisible, and the story is entirely told through quotes from members of the band, associates and hangers-on, or just critics and writers on the period, as they’re interviewed thirty years and change later in the 2010s.

In the abstract, I adore this. I love unreliable narration, and Rashmoon-esque scenes where we get mutually exclusive versions of the same conflict from different perspective. Properly packaged, I am an incredibly easy mark for messy self-destructive codependency and melodrama. Thanks to some peculiar media taste on my parent’s part, I even have enduring fondness for the whole, I don’t know, heroic age of rock&roll? And the whole mass of accompanying narratives and tropes that you get buried in talking about music in the 60s-through-early-80s. And it’s not that the book doesn’t deliver on any of that, exactly – it’s not at all poorly executed, it knows what it’s trying to do. It’s just-

It feels like this is a book about a fictional band because it would be impossible to make such a morally simple, happy and redemptive story about any of the actual bands that clearly inspired it without seeming like Jenkins was getting paid to whitewash someone. It’s not that there isn’t mess, exactly, but it comes across like a born again Christian giving lurid descriptions of their debauched and sinful former life. There’s sex and drugs galore, but the worst person in the entire book is just a shitty deadbeat boyfriend. The entire main thrust of the book is building up an unacknowledged love triangle between Daisy, Billie and Camilla – actually quite compelling! And then it finally reaches a head, is cleanly and simply resolved in the most boringly conventional way, and the story jumps thirty years ahead to a ‘where are they now’. Where is the toxicity, the mess, the unforgivable betrayals everyone has to ignore so they can get on stage together, the fortune-destroying legal battles over the rights to the band’s legacy once it all falls apart? You finish the book feeling like Charlie Brown trying to kick a football.

This might be a problem of me setting my expectations too high, but up until the halfway point it does feel like it was building up to something appropriately nuclear. Instead, it peaked with Billie (and, despite the book’s name and cover art, in a narrative sense he really is the main character of the book) hits rock bottom and goes to rehab so he can be a good father for his daughters and husband to his wife. A truly mind-numbing fraction of the book from there is dedicated to singing the praises of the redemptive power of the reproductive nuclear family and an advertisement for going to rehab and learning self-control before drugs ruin your life. I spent two hundred pages waiting for it all to be groundwork for juicy, bitter dramatic irony, but no – just sincere, straightforward themes of the work. Hideous.

There is one rather hostile reading of the book that works? It’s revealed at the book’s climax that the diegetic framer and compiler of this oral history is Julia, Billie and Camilla’s daughter, and she is creating this project when her mother rather abruptly dies. And you know? This story is exactly what you might expect from an entertainment industry nepo baby asking her parents and a bunch of family friends (including who everyone assumed to be The Other Woman) about her parent’s romance and relationship and putting it all together into a deeply mediocre documentary that will kickstart her career entirely thanks to all the juicy stories from last generation’s superstars. But I am on the one hand really pretty sure this is not even close to the intended read of the story, and on the other still leaves you only reading the deeply mediocre documentary with no access whatsoever to the more interesting story underneath it. Decent conceit for fanfiction, I guess?

The identity of the diegetic narrator is also the justification for how shamelessly the story plays favourites with which band members to focus on – of course her parents and their relationship will be the central focus of the whole piece, of course her uncle and his girlfriend will get second-string status, of course the rest of the band will basically exist to provide colour commentary and throw peanuts (if that). A disparity the story itself draws enough attention to it, honestly, goes from charming to eyeroll inducing when it never actually does anything with it.

The story very much wants to be About gender and feminism, and (going by the discussion questions I glanced at while skimming through the reader’s guide section at the back of the book) is proud of it. Which isn’t really unjustified – it really does have a decent number of different female characters with their own developed personalities and prominent roles in the narrative. It does the thing I kind of hate where by happy coincidence all of them (even the ones on opposite ends of a romantic triangle) end up liking each other whenever they interact, but that’s just kind of a piece with the book not really letting anyone be a proper piece of shit. It is however very funny that the only black-coded character in the entire story is literally in the narrative to be Daisy’s longsuffering and supportive best friend there to provide a bit of maternal influence and talk sense into her when she really needs it.

But yes, decent airport read I suppose? Fun for a lazy day if you enjoy the premise, but not really worth seeking out otherwise.

[realdramalove69]

Commission: Not So Empty Nest Part 1

The day finally came when Nick had to say goodbye to his mother. He had dreaded this day, but was also excited to be finally heading off to college. They had spent all day yesterday loading up his car and making sure he had everything he needed before doing the four hour drive to his new dorm.

As long as he can remember it had always just been him and Maria. His mom had had him when she was young, 18 and just out of high school, but she made sure he never wanted for anything. They had shared small apartments, late nights working on homework, and now she was getting ready to say goodbye to her only child.

The night before as they ate pizza and watched movies Nick looked at his mom, admiring how beautiful and youthful she still was. Long silky black hair, a curvy body and olive toned skin. They had the same dark brown eyes but Nick was paler and more lanky than his mother. He had gotten his height from his father’s side (according to her) and stood 8 inches taller than his mother’s 5’4” stature.

Nick set down his plate on the coffee table and turned to his mom, his heart pounding and his nerves building in anticipation of him leaving. He had been rehearsing this conversation in his head all day and knew if he didn’t say it now he would never be able to.

“Mom?” Nick started, his voice sounding childlike.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Maria replied, looking at her son and smiling.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Since I got accepted into college really. But I wanted to ask you if you were maybe going to start dating again once I’m gone?”

Maria looked down at her hands and picked at her pizza. “Sweetie you don’t need to worry about me–”

“I know. You’ve told me my whole life. But now you’re going to be alone and I don’t want you here alone without someone here to love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

Maria didn’t know what to say. She had put off dating these last 18 years, focusing solely on her son and her job as a hairdresser. “I promise, Nick, that I will be fine. Of course I will miss having you around but I don’t need to get married or anything like that.”

Nick tried to hide his disappointment. He had tried this once before when he was younger, begging his mom for more siblings and a dad, but she had shooed him off saying she didn’t have time.

“It’s just something to think about, mom,” Nick replied. “In case you get lonely.”

Maria scooted on the couch closer to her son and hugged him, ruffling his hair and kissing the top of his head. “I appreciate you looking out for me, honey. I’ll think about entering the dating scene again. I promise.”

Nick looked up at her and smiled. “Thanks. I’d feel better about going to school knowing you won’t be bored and alone.”

“Oh, Nicky, I’m not going to be bored. I’ll find some new hobbies to try or something.” She kissed his head and went back to eating the pizza.

The next morning Maria waved her son goodbye as he drove off, tears in her eyes as she watched her baby boy heading off to become the chemist and doctor he had always dreamed of. She sighed and crossed her arms, hugging herself as she felt the impending boredom and loneliness that comes with being an empty nester. She hated to admit that her son was right; she was nervous about being left here alone without him. Maybe she should download a dating app?

Maria chuckled and shook her head. Don’t be hasty, Maria. It’s only been five minutes.

To distract herself, Maria decided to head to the gym. She had always loved working out and keeping in shape, her toned body proved it. She hadn’t ever lost the bit of chub on her thighs and belly from pregnancy, but no one could deny she was absolutely gorgeous.

Dressed in a tight light blue yoga pants and bra set, Maria put in her headphones and started her run on the treadmill. She had been running for about twenty minutes when a man around her age hopped on the one next to her. She smiled politely at him, feeling a warmth in her cheeks when she noticed how attractive he was. Tall and tan with salt and pepper hair and kind tawny eyes. He had some stubble but didn’t look unkempt. Pushing her shoulders back a little, Maria continued her pace trying not to think about the man next to her.

He started his run, his pace about the same as hers. They ran together in silence for another fifteen minutes before Maria slowed down to a walk, hands on her head as she caught her breath. The man slowed down as well, obviously not as avid a runner as Maria. He clutched his side and said something to her.

“Sorry I couldn’t hear you,” Maria responded, taking her headphones out. “What did you say?”

“I said, you’re a really great runner,” the man gasped, smiling big and trying to catch his breath. “I admittedly only came over here to talk to you but you were so in the zone I didn’t want to bug you.”

Maria’s cheeks grew redder. “Oh, well your form looked good anyways!”

The man extended a hand. “John.”

Maria shook it. “Maria. Nice to meet you. Are you new to this gym? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

“Just moved to town about two weeks ago.” John sighed. “Sorry if I’m being too forward. I don’t normally walk up to women like this…”

“No, no it’s okay!” The words of her son from the night before echoed in her head as she stared at this handsome man in front of her. “Do you want to grab a smoothie? There’s a great place a couple doors down.”

John smiled. “I’d love that.”

The two walked out of the gym and to the smoothie cafe. They grabbed their drinks and sat across from each other, drinking and chatting.

“What made you move here?” Maria asked. She took a long sip from her drink and looked him in the eyes.

“Work. I got promoted and they wanted me to head up the lab out here.”

“Lab? Like a research lab?”

“Yeah, I’m an endocrinologist and chemist studying hormonal therapies and stuff like that. Boring stuff.”

“No! My son actually just left today for college. He’s studying chemistry and biology. In high school he had all this really hard homework. I barely understood any of it but he’s so smart.”

“You have a son?” The man looked surprised. Maria mentally slapped herself, not thinking about if the man even wanted or liked kids.

“Uh, yeah. My son Nick. He’s all grown up now.” Maria drank her smoothie nervously. “Do you have any kids?”

The man smiled and shook his head. “No, I never got around to it I guess. I’ve always wanted a big family though. Lots of babies and kids to take care of. A big pregnant wife to greet me when I get home everyday.”

Maria sighed in relief, seeing John look her up and down even more. “Nick always bugged me for younger siblings but, you know, single mom. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I couldn’t afford another baby.”

“You’re still young, Maria. You could definitely still give your son younger siblings.” John gently grabbed her hand and held it. Maria blushed and smiled, smitten by this man she had met barely an hour ago. “I’d love to take you to dinner tonight. If you’re free.”

Maria nodded eagerly. “I’d like that a lot.”

After the first date Maria knew he was the one. He was charming, handsome, tall, funny and kind. Everything her old boyfriends would never be. She eagerly called her son that night after she got home, not realizing how late it was when he answered.

“Mom? Is everything ok?” Nick asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Maria looked at the clock. “Oh shoot, honey sorry I didn’t realize the time. Did you get settled in okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. My roommate is really nice.” Nick kept his voice quiet. “Orientation is tomorrow and I got my class schedule so I’ll be pretty busy.”

“That’s good. I’m so proud of you, Nicky. And I don’t want you to worry about me…I met someone today at the gym.”

Nick smiled wide. “Wow! Mom, I'm so glad. What’s his name?”

“John. He’s an endocrinologist and studies fertility and other science stuff. I think you two will get along.”

“He sounds great. I hope it goes well, mom.” Nick yawned.

“I’ll let you go, sweetheart. Call me and text me when you can. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Nick hung up and laid back down, smiling and sighing in relief. Thank god she’s putting herself back out there.

John didn’t come inside that first night, despite Maria wanting him too. In fact, he didn’t come inside her home until date number 3. They spent the last few days together going on little adventures around the city and now Maria finally had him on her couch.

Maria poured them some red wine, handing a glass to John who took it nervously. She noticed his hand shaking a bit and scooted closer, grabbing his arm and leaning on his shoulder.

“Nervous?” Maria purred. “Come on, I don’t bite.”

“Maria,” John started, a tremble in his voice. “I need to confess something to you.”

Maria looked at him confused, leaning up a bit and holding his hand. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

“Nothing! Nothing is wrong, it's just that…I’ve fallen for you. Hard. I know it sounds crazy and we barely met but–” John pulled a ring out of his pocket and got on one knee. “Will you marry me?”

Maria felt tears in her eyes, her hands going to her mouth as she smiled and nodded. “Yes! Oh my god this is crazy but yes! I love you too.”

John put the ring on her finger and kissed her, his hands around her waist as she held his face.

“I didn’t ever think I’d fall in love but I just knew from the moment I saw you,” John gasped between kisses. “You’re so beautiful and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Maria smiled wider. “Let’s get married tonight. I have a friend at the courthouse. We can get it done in an hour.”

John nodded and kissed her again. “Go put on your prettiest dress!”

Maria wore her only white dress: a short spaghetti strap dress that hugged her curves and held her perky tits perfectly. John grabbed a button down and the two of them headed to the courthouse and were wedded within the hour. John drove them to a nice hotel and got the honeymoon suite, carrying his new bride through the door and popping bottles of champagne.

“Cheers!” John clinked his glass against hers. “To Mrs. Grant.”

Maria kissed him and took a sip. “Mm thank you, Mr. Grant.”

Maria looked her new husband up and down, grabbing him by the collar and kissing him deeply. She pulled back for a moment and chugged the rest of her drink, setting her glass down before ripping his shirt off of him and running her hands up and down his torso. John grunted as she unbuckled his pants, pulling them down and revealing his hard cock.

“Wow, so big already for your new wife?” Maria got on her knees and licked his shaft up and down. “It’s been so long since I’ve been with someone.” She licked his tip before taking him in her mouth, feeling his cock in the back of her throat as she moaned.

John groaned and held her head against his dick. “Ohhh fuck baby you’re so good to me.” He pulled her off him. “But I wanna cum in your pussy.”

Maria looked up at her new husband. “Did you bring a condom? I’m not on the pill…”

John shook his head. “My wife should have babies in her belly, don’t you think?”

Maria hesitated. She hadn’t considered having more kids so soon. “I don’t know, John…” He shoved his cock back in her mouth and down her throat.

“You’ll look so good with a big belly, Maria. Waddling around with my babies inside you. Don’t you want that? For me?”

Maria sucked on his tip before gasping for air again. “You want babies with me?” She stood and jumped in his arms. “I’ll have your babies, John.”

John smiled wider, kissing her and taking her to the bed, laying her down on her back. “I’m going to make you a mommy again!” In a quick thrust he was inside her, filling her tight pusy for the first time. Maria gasped at the sensation, her hands holding her flopping tits as she arched her back, cumming instantly.

“Oh god yes! Don’t stop until I’m pregnant!” Maria squealed and gasped, John grabbing her hips and lifting her against him, getting deeper into her.

“I’m going to put so many babies in you, Maria!” With another thrust, John shot his load deep into her, filling her womb with his seed. He collapsed on top of her, the two of them breahting heavily.

“You really did it,” Maria muttered in her orgasmic daze. “I’m going to be a mommy again.”

John kissed her neck and nibbled her ear. “I’m going to keep breeding you all night long.”

They spent that night and the next few nights fucking non-stop. John moved her into his large house in the suburbs and bent her over whenever he could, fucking another load into her fertile pussy. It didn’t take long to know she was pregnant; the morning sickness hit first only two weeks after their wedding, the sound of her hurling making John smile wide. A week later she took a pregnancy test and sure enough it was positive. She cried in John’s arms, smiling and kissing him as he rubbed her belly excitedly.

As they ate dinner that night, John noticed Maria’s somber expression. “Is something wrong, sweetie?”

Maria looked up at him. “Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about Nick. I know he thinks I’m crazy for marrying you so fast and now I’m pregnant and I just…don’t know what to say to him.”

John grabbed her hand gently. “It’s probably best to tell him in person. And you don’t want to interfere with his first semester when he’s still getting used to everything. Besides, you won’t be showing that much in just a few months.”

Maria squeezed his hand and smiled. “You’re right. I know he’s excited to meet you and he’ll be even more excited to have a baby sibling.”

A few more weeks passed and so did the morning sickness. They had their first ultrasound scheduled for 9 weeks, the doctor a friend of John’s. The morning of the appointment Maria stepped out of the shower and looked in the mirror, noticing the small pudge in her belly. She cupped it, feeling her soft skin bulging in a familiar way. Her hands moved up to her breasts, noticing how much more sensitive they felt as she massaged them. Even her ass was starting to look a little bigger, her hips already wide but getting prepared for her next pregnancy.

With a smirk, Maria walked naked out of the bathroom and posed in front of the bed, pushing her belly out more and giggling as John looked up from his phone. “Baby look how big I am already,” she pouted teasingly. “I’ve got a little belly already.”

John stood, a smile and shock mixing on his face as he cupped the gentle swell and felt the firm belly under her soft skin. “Wow, you’re growing already! This is amazing.”

“It’s not so amazing for my wardrobe. I didn’t think I’d be showing this fast.”

“Maybe it’s more than one?” John kept rubbing the firm bump, mesmerized by it. “My babies are in here.”

“Baby. Just one. I can’t imagine having more than one at a time.” Maria placed her hands on his and kissed him. “Now get dressed, our appointment is soon.”

Maria struggled to get any of her jeans to fit and instead put on yoga pants and a large t-shirt, hiding her bump. She groaned and winced as the tight bra dug into her sensitive breasts. I’ll need to go shopping this week, she thought to herself.

They got in the car and were soon at the clinic. Maria sat in the waiting room holding her husband’s hand. Looking around the room and seeing the other couples there, women in various stages of pregnancy, babies in strollers, she couldn’t help but get teary eyed. John squeezed her hand, noticing the tears.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concerned.

Maria shook her head. “Yeah, sorry it just hit me that we’re gonna have a baby.” John smiled and kissed her. “I’m so excited to see them.”

A nurse came out of the office door and called for them. “Maria? Maria Grant?”

John helped her up and the two followed her to a small exam room where she sat on a table, leaning back slightly.

“Alright, I’m going to take a few intake questions and then the doctor will be in shortly to do an ultrasound. We’ll also need to get some bloodwork done before you leave today.”

Maria nodded along, answering the intake questions and holding John’s hand as he stood beside her. She could hear her heart beating in her ears, the idea of multiples playing in the back of her head as the nurse left and John pulled her shirt back over the noticeable bump.

“Wow baby, I can’t believe how round you are already,” John kissed her belly.

“John, I’m going to get so fat with this baby I can just tell,” Maria pouted. John kissed her again and chuckled.

“You’ll look so beautiful full term and round with my child. I promise.”

Before Maria could respond the door opened and a short man walked in with the same nurse from before.

“Good morning Mrs. Grant,” the short man chirped. “Always a pleasure to see you, Dr. Grant. My name is Dr. Sheen. I see we are here for our 9 week ultrasound. Now, just relax and we will see what’s going on in there.” He put on gloves and squirted the gel on Maria’s belly, making the woman shiver. “Some light pressure as I try to get a clear picture.”

Maria squeezed John’s hand tighter as she held her breath, staring at the gray screen and trying to decipher the blobs. “Is that the baby?” she asked hesitantly.

The doctor smiled. “That is one of your babies yes.”

Maria’s heart skipped a beat and John stiffened beside her. “One?” he muttered, a smile growing on his face. “There’s more than one?”

“You mean, like twins?” Maria asked, looking between the two men.

“Oh I think it’s more than twins. I count…six fetuses,” the doctor circled them on the screen, labeling them A through F. “Sextuplets are rare but you seem to have a strong uterus. I’m curious to see what your blood tests show.”

“Sorry, did you say six?” Maria gasped. “John! I can’t carry six babies!” Tears ran down her cheeks as she stared between her husband and her growing belly. “I’m going to get too big and the babies what if they’re too small and come early–”

John held her and tried to get her to calm down. “Hey, hey,” he half whispered to her. “I’m going to be there with you every step of the way, don't worry. You’re going to carry them just fine. Me and Dr. Sheen will make sure of it.”

Maria calmed down slightly, holding John and her belly. “I’m sorry, it’s just a lot to take in.”

The doctor smiled and explained to her what she would need to do in order to carry six babies. Vitamins, supplements, upping her calorie intake. John assured the doctor that he would take care of her and make sure she and the babies were safe and sound.

The couple walked out of the office, Maria still in shock, and back to the car. John hugged her tightly before helping her sit in the passenger side. “Everything is going to be just fine, I promise.”

Maria nodded, rubbing her belly and taking his hand as he started the car. “Nick is for sure getting his wish for siblings,” she giggled.

Christmas break came faster than Maria anticipated. In the weeks since finding out she was having sextuplets her body grew faster, clothes ripping daily it seemed now as she refused to buy bigger ones.

“I’m growing so fast I’ll just outgrow anything else I buy” she complained one evening to her husband, the two of them sitting in bed and rubbing her bulging belly.

At 23 weeks with sextuplets Maria felt gigantic. She looked bigger than most women did with twins and she had still so long to go. Her skin was stretched tight, covered in stretch marks and the bumps from her babies kicking. John couldn’t get enough of her growing body, constantly rubbing her belly or breasts, marveling at how wide her hips were growing.

“Nick will be home tomorrow. I’m so scared of his reaction to this,” Maria groaned. “What if he’s upset we didn’t tell him sooner?”

John kissed her. “Don’t worry, he’s going to be so happy for you. I promise.”

Maria smiled and snuggled up to her baby daddy, her belly resting between them. “I know you’re right but I’m allowed to be nervous.”

The next morning Maria waddled around the house cleaning and making sure everything was in order for Nick’s arrival. She had moved into John’s house after they got married, making sure Nick still had his own room set up the same way it was in their apartment.

John came up behind her in the kitchen, lifting her belly and kissing her neck as she tried to finish the cookies she was making. “You need to go sit and rest,” he said with a smile.

“I will after I finish these. I want everything to be perfect.” Maria kissed him and put the cookies in the oven. “He’ll be here any minute.”

John rubbed her belly more, seeing his babies kicking. “I’ll finish the cookies. You go sit and rest. Doctor’s orders.” He chuckled and lightly spanked her ass.

Maria sighed but agreed, gratefully waddling to the living room and sitting on the couch, putting her swollen feet on the coffee table. She texted Nick to see how far he was, nervous he would get lost on his way to their new home.

Nick was getting nervous himself. He was happy his mom had found a new guy but getting married so fast made him worry. John sounded great and Nick couldn’t help but picture his new dad helping him with his college medical work. He drove through the fancy suburb, noticing the large houses and perfect lawns.

The lights outside turned on as Nick turned his car off, the sun setting earlier now that it was December. He was excited to see his mom for the first time in months. Their FaceTimes had gotten more brief the last month and her responses more vague. With a deep sigh he knocked on the door.

Maria heard the knock and John waved at her to stay seated, heading to answer it. She didn’t listen, standing awkwardly as her husband let her son into the house.

“Hey!” John opened the door wide with a smile. “You must be Nick. Come on in. I’m John.” John extended a hand and Nick shook it before coming inside.

Nick looked his new dad up and down, noticing his bright eyes and salt and pepper hair. He was taller than Nick but a couple inches, his shoulders broader too. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Your moms in the living room. Come on.”

John took Nick down the short hallway and into the living room where Maria stokd waiting, her belly huge in her hands as she stood before her son. “Nicky! I’m so happy you’re home!” She waddled over and tried to hug him, her belly pressing into him awkwardly.

Nick's jaw dropped at the sight of her, panic and a tingly feeling mixing in his stomach at the sight of her stretched belly. “M-mom? You’re…you’re pregnant! But how…? How are you so big already?” He stuttered, gingerly touching her bare belly as though he didn’t believe it was real.

“Nick, I wanted to tell you so badly but we felt it was best to tell you in person,” Maria said. “John and I didn’t anticipate me growing so fast but I’m pregnant with sextuplets—-”

“Sextuplets!” Nick blurted.

“Honey, I know it’s a lot to take in but I promise I’m healthy and your baby brothers and sisters are healthy and kicking.” Maria placed her son's hand on her belly so he could feel them. Nick could see the tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner I know I should have.”

Nick smiled and rubbed her belly before hugging her. “It’s okay mom. I’m just happy you’re happy.” Maria kissed his cheek and hugged him again. “Plus now I get to have those younger siblings I always wanted.”

Maria and John laughed. “It’s five more babies that I anticipated but I couldn't be happier to be with such a wonderful woman,” John said.

Something stirred inside Nick as he rubbed his mothers belly. “How far along are you?”

“24 weeks tomorrow. Still have a long way to go,” Maria smiled. “But come on let me show you your room.”

It took Maria more time to get up the stairs these days but her husband and son helped her and soon she was showing Nick to his new room. “I tried to make it like your other room was,” she panted, every movement harder with the weight in front of her.

Nick set his bag down in the bed. “It looks great, mom. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie. Even with all these new babies coming you’ll always be my first baby.” Maria wiped a tear from her eye. “Sorry, hormones. Dinner will be ready soon so come down in a bit.”

When Nick was alone he locked the door and groaned, feeling his dick hard in his jeans. It wasn’t that his mom turned him on, but god that belly and those tits. She was a fertility goddess. And six! Six babies in her belly. This was the kind of science he wanted to study. Ideas came to him as he rubbed his cock up and down, ways to increase her fertility even more. He saw the way John looked at her too and imagined he wouldn’t be too mad with having even more babies for him.

Nick came with a grunt at the thought of his mom carrying a hundred babies. “Ooh fuck I need to make it happen,” he groaned.

The next day Nick went downstairs and found John making breakfast in the kitchen. He was busy flipping pancakes and cooking bacon, not noticing Nick until he poured a mug of coffee.

“Morning,” John said. “Your mom is still asleep but I know she’s going to be hungry when she wakes up.”

Nick smiled, noticing just how much food his step-dad was making. “Well she’s got a lot of babies to feed.” Nick chuckled softly. “Need any help?”

“A lot of big healthy babies to feed. And can you grab the syrup and butter from the fridge?”

Nick opened the well-stocked fridge and grabbed the two items, noticing the weight gain shakes in there as well. “Are you excited to have kids?” Nick could feel his heart pounding, trying to tread the topic carefully.

John nodded enthusiastically. “Couldn’t be happier. I’ve always wanted a big family. It’s one of the reasons I got into fertility medicine.”

“Same. Kind of. Mom had lots of friends who had trouble having kids and I always wanted to try and find ways to fix that. I never expected my own mom to be so fertile.”

“She is something else, isn’t she?” John looked at his new stepson and knew what he was trying to get at. “I didn’t give her any fertility meds if that’s what you're implying.”

Nick shook his head. “No! No… That’s what makes it so amazing.” Nick took a nervous sip of the coffee, scrunching his face at the bitter taste. He held tight on the mug, not wanting John to see his shaking hands. “Since her pregnancy is natural… I think it’s worth studying. Don’t you? Seeing how far her fertility goes?”

John set the plates of pancakes, eggs, bacon, orange juice, and muffins on a large tray. I like this kid, he thought to himself with a smile. He wants to see his mom blow up with babies, huh?

“Sorry if that’s weird I just figure with your work–”

“How would you like to intern at my office?” John asked. “I could use help on a project like this and it would look good on your resume.”

Nick was taken aback. Maybe it was their shared love of pregnancy that brought them together so quickly, neither of them needing to say out loud what their real goals were. “Deal.” Nick extended a hand and John shook it.

“Great! Let’s get her through this pregnancy first and then we can talk about the next one.”

With a wink, John grabbed the tray of food and hauled it to his sleeping wife upstairs. Nick sat at the kitchen table, dumbfounded and excited to see what they could accomplish.

After the break, Nick reluctantly went back to school. His mom hugged him tight and John shook his hand again, telling him he’d be in contact about the internship. Nick made his mom promise to send updates on the babies and pictures of her bump. He wanted to be a part of the experience as much as possible even from a distance. Maria thought it was sweet her son was so excited to be a big brother.

Maria waddled behind John into the doctor’s office for her 32 week checkup. She was growing faster now that she was in the third trimester, her belly round and heavy on her pelvis, reaching past her knees now when she sits. Her hips are almost too wide for most doorways now, John need to help her squeeze through on occasion.

With John and a nurse's help Maria gets onto the table, leaning back and groaning as she feels the babies in her belly moving and kicking. Laying on her back isn’t much of an option anymore, the weight of the babies and of her expanding chest making it hard to breathe.

Dr. Sheen walked in as John was soothing the kicking at her belly button. “How’re we doing?” the doctor asked as he squirted a generous amount of gel on her belly.

“Sore. Huge. I swear there’s more than six in there sometimes.” Maria rubbed her belly, her face scrunched in pain. “And they move so much now.”

“I can see very active babies,” the doctor said, pressing the wand into her belly and showing the large infants on the screen. “Oh my…you may be right about there being more than six…”

“What?” John said with a smile. “Really?”

“Oh, John please, it's already too much!” Maria cried.

“I can see eight babies in here. My apologies for missing them before but they must have been hiding behind their brothers. You’re up to five boys, three girls, Mrs. Grant.”

Maria didn’t know what to say. She was already struggling with the thought of having six babies but now it was eight?! What would her son say?

John could only smile and kiss her, rubbing her belly excitedly, his cock hard in his pants. The doctor left the two of them alone and he immediately started making out with her, grabbing her tits as she moaned in his arms.

“God you’re so fertile it’s amazing,” John gasped. “I love how big you’re getting, Maria. You’ve never looked sexier.” He kissed her neck, gripping her tits harder as milk seeped into his hands.

“Ohhh god, John you’ve really blown me up! I’m not going to be able to walk soon.”

“Fine by me.” John took a step back and took out his phone, snapping a pic of Maria looking huge and pregnant laying on her back. He texted the photo to a group chat of him, Nick, and Maria with the caption “guess who found two more babies in their belly”

Nick texted back immediately “OMG that's amazing congrats mom!”

Showing his wife the message, John smiled wider. “See? Everyone’s so excited for more babies.”

John pulled his wife to her feet and waddled her back to the car, helping her squeeze into the front seat. He drove them home quickly, his cock throbbing harder as he watched Maria moan and rub her belly the whole drive home. Once parked he pulled her out of the car and into the living room, pulling her dress off of her and unhooking the too tight bra.

“John!” Maria gasped, holding her belly as she felt her husband latching on to her leaking tit. “Ohh fuck baby I’m so pregnant it’s making me so full of milk!”

Without letting go of her, John eased Maria onto the couch, holding her belly, rubbing his hand down further until he found her wet pussy, fingering her sensitive clit.

Maria cried out in ecstasy as she felt her husband teasing her. “John, I need you! I need you inside me!”

Not one to deny a pregnant woman, John undid his pants and gripped her hips, pulling her up and lining his cock with her hole, rubbing her lips with his tip before plunging deep inside her. He groaned low as he felt her warm insides envelope him, so wet and ready for more of his potent seed.

Maria’s eyes crossed as she felt John thrust into her, her whole body shaking as he pounded against her sensitive cervix. She gripped her tits in her hands, milk dripping onto her belly as they slapped against her tight orb. “John I’m gonna cum!” she squealed, feeling her clit pulsate as she screamed through her orgasm, her pussy clenching tighter around John’s cock.

“Oh fuck, Maria you’re the best baby factory!” John came inside her, shooting hot ropes into her already overfilled womb. He collapsed onto her belly, feeling the rising and falling of her breathing as he kissed and sucked on her belly button.

The rest of her pregnancy was much the same. Growing, eating, fucking. John ordered her on a bed rest two months after they found the two extra babies, her belly so heavy on her once tiny frame that she couldn’t walk without John’s help now.

Maria spent the last few weeks of her pregnancy moaning and miserable in bed, laying on her side and rubbing her belly as the babies inside assaulted her. She could feel each of them moving and kicking, fighting for more space inside her cramped womb. Making it to 40 weeks was unprecedented but having both John and Nick home to help her made it a little easier.

Nick’s first year of school had finished and he was eager to move back home for the summer, especially since Maria hadn’t given birth yet. She was close, John kept saying, yet she kept growing and the babies seemed content inside her.

At 41 weeks Maria felt gigantic. Her belly was bigger than her, large enough John could have curled inside it. Nick sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed lotion into her tight and red skin, trying to soothe the miserable woman groaning on the bed.

“Please come soon,” Maria whined. “Oh god, Nick, I can’t do this much longer.”

John walked in with a tray of sandwiches and chips for lunch, the two of them helping Maria sit up so she could eat. “Don’t worry, baby. They’re getting lower and your contractions are getting more frequent. I’m sure it’ll be any day now.”

Maria nodded, her eyes bulging as she felt her babies fighting against her belly button again. John gave Nick a look and the young man nodded, leaving the two of them alone, his mom eating quickly through the stack of sandwiches as Nick peeked through the door at his stepfather caressing his mother’s huge belly.

John smiled at his gravid wife, rubbing her belly and pressing against the strong and overdue babies fighting inside her. He loved having her so big, hearing her moan through every bite of food and kick from a baby. She was utterly huge and miserable and he had never been more attracted to her.

”You’re contractions are getting more productive,” John commented, feeling her womb tighten under his hands as she groaned and grunted. “I think it's time we break your water, baby girl.”

Maria rubbed her belly nervously but eagerly. “I’m…ready…I need them out of me!”

John grabbed the empty tray and set it aside, rolling Maria onto her side again, her belly flopping onto the mattress and trembling as the overdue babies kick and fight against the movement. Her groans and whines only served to make him harder, his hands gripping her fat thighs as he got in position behind her.

”Are you ready? Are you ready to become a mom all over again?” John grunted. He gently caressed her wet pussy, feeling her throbbing and ready for him.

”Yes!” Maria squeaked. “God yes fuck me into labor! I want to have these babies for you!”

John didn’t need to be told twice. In one quick motion he was inside his pregnant wife, feeling her tight folds envelope him and smiling in satisfaction at her lusty moans and cries. “God you’re so tight still. You're an amazing baby mama!”

Maria gripped her tits tightly, the swollen orbs bouncing into her face with every thrust from her beast of a husband. She felt her back and belly tighten again as the babies fought against the movement, not happy that their already cramped home was being invaded.

”Oh god I’m so big! Please break my water! I want to give birth so badly!” Maria cried and moaned as John hit her g-spot over and over again, his hands roaming her body and feeling every inch of what he had done to her. “Please get them out of me!”

Nick was hard as a rock watching between the crack in the door, seeing his overdue and overgrown mother getting railed by his stepfather was a sight to behold, her belly so huge in his hands and him still able to make her beg and moan for him despite being too big to even walk.

John smacked her fat ass, gripping her thigh as he held it up for her and thrust harder into her folds. “I’m…gonna…fuck you…into labor!”

Maria came hard, John plunging himself deeper inside of her as she convulsed around him, her pussy tighter from the combination of orgasm and contraction. Before he could hold back he was unleashing a load into her fertile pussy, watching his wife devolve into a slurry of moans and cries as a gush of fluid squired around his cock.

”Baby! Oh fuck they’re coming!” Maria gasped and grabbed her belly as she felt the first one getting ready to crown. “They’re coming fast, John!”

John smiled and smacked her ass again, pulling out of her and putting his shorts back on as he called for Nick to get the supplies ready. Red-faced and ready, the younger man entered the bedroom carrying towels and blankets as John helped Maria through another contraction, the two of them rolling her onto her back and spreading her legs more.

”Nick, check her dilation while I get some hot water,” John instructed his step-son.

Nick blushed even more as he took a gloved hand and felt inside his mother, hearing her groan in pain as the babies shifted more. “Nearly there, mom. about 8 centimeters.”

”I have to push,” Maria gasped. “Please let me push.”

Nick kept his hand inside her as she bore down, preventing the baby's bulging head from tearing her. “Mom, stop! You’re not ready yet!”

John went and stroked her hair, breathing with her and letting the contraction pass without more pushing.

“Babe,” Maria moaned. “Oh god I can’t there’s too many…”

John kissed her deeply and rubbed her belly. “You’ve got this, mama. You’re the best wife and mom in the world, no one but you can handle this.”

Maria smiled and nodded, tears running down her cheeks as another contraction gripped her. Nick checked her again, feeling her stretch wider.

“You’ve got this mom! It’s almost time to push. On the next one you can I promise,” Nick said as he massaged her under belly.

“Alright, baby mama,” John smiled. “Let’s have our babies.”

A few minutes passed before Nick checked her dilation again, trying to ignore how hard he was for his own mother giving birth. He stroked her pussy again, listening to her moan as he inserted his fingers into her.

“Ten centimeters,” he stuttered. “You can push in the next contraction, mom.”

Maria groaned and held onto her belly, the babies kicking harder as her womb tightened and a scream and groan echoed throughout the room. With a hard push the first baby bulged, her pussy stretching wider for the large head.

“I see the first head!” Nick exclaimed, looking over his moms belly to John who smiled and nodded.

“He’s coming! Catch him!” Maria whined as she pushed again, the baby crowning and popping free.

“The first heads out,” John said, moving to Nick's spot as the younger man grew more pale and nervous. “Go comfort your mother, I got this.”

Nick nodded and quickly moved to sit behind Maria, holding her tight as she pushed again, the first baby coming out quickly, crying and weighing almost ten pounds. John felt the tears in his eyes as he held his first son, quickly moving to set the infant on Maria’s engorged chest.

“Oh he’s beautiful!” Maria cried, holding her new baby and helping him latch on to her nipple. “Mm the next ones coming I can feel them.”

John rubbed Maria’s clit as she pushed, making her moan and her legs squirm as she struggled with the second baby’s larger head. He smiled and rubbed her underbelly, feeling the seven left inside her still kicking hard.

“Almost there, baby,” John smiled, rubbing his fingers around the bulging head and feeling his wife cum as she pushed again, freeing the second infant from her. “Good baby, one more big push.”

Nick held his mom tight as she pushed once more, sitting behind her and letting her head rest against his chest. The second baby, a big 12 lb girl, was soon placed next to her brother on Maria’s chest.

“I…I can’t believe it! There’s still six left,” Maria groaned as contractions came fast, the six still inside her eager to escape their cramped home. “Hooo, John it feels so good having your babies!”

The third one came faster than John could anticipate, his hands barely catching the baby girl as Maria’s pussy stretched around her.

“Slow down,” John cooed. “It’s okay baby girl, you're doing so good. Just breathe.”

Maria moaned and leaned against Nick again, shaking her head wildly, her eyes unfocused as she felt the babies fighting to be next to be birthed. “They’re…they’re all coming so fast! I can’t…I have to push!”

Nick squeezed Maria’s hands and whispered to her “You’re doing great. Breathe with me.”

Nick got Maria to do her Lamaze breathing as the fourth baby crowned, John pulling the overgrown boy free from her with another push.

“Halfway there,” John said. He looked over his wife’s belly at his stepson. “Keep her breathing even, these last ones are going to come fast.”

Nick nodded and kept his mothers focus on him, holding her as she struggled to push through the exhaustion after giving birth to four babies.

“You got this mom, only a few left and then you can rest,” Nick said. “In and out…in and out…”

John took over telling her when to push, not wanting her to strain unnecessarily and exhaust herself more than she already was. After six long hours in labor all the babies were finally born, weighing between 9-13 lbs each, five boys and three girls sitting on their mothers chest as her husband and oldest held her.

“I did it,” Maria moaned, leaning against John and closing her eyes. “All our babies are here.”

“You did amazing,” John kissed his wife lovingly, stroking the heads of his babies as they slept in her arms. “I can’t believe we have our eight little ones here.”

“I can’t believe I finally get to be a big brother,” Nick chuckled.He looked at the exhausted woman and her husband, both of them still glowing and happy despite how tired they all were. “I’ll let you two rest. Call me if you need help, mom.”

Maria hugged her oldest son tight, kissing his cheek.

“Thank you, for everything. You’re the best son a mother could ask for.”

When Maria and the babies were all asleep and resting John came back downstairs, finding Nick asleep on the couch. He roused his stepson gently, the younger man sitting up concerned.

“Don’t worry, they’re all asleep and fine,” John whispered. “How are you doing?”

Nick rubbed his eyes and smiled, blushing as he thought about his mom growing even more. “I’m good. Excited. Tired. Are we ready to start the next experiment?”

John nodded. “It’ll take a few weeks for the fertility meds to kick in but once that happens she should get pregnant with double the amount easily. And she’s already proven to be an amazingly fertile woman even without the meds.”

“She’s going to be so big…” Nick mumbled. He shook his head. “What do you need me to do?”

“Any meal she eats I need the drugs to be in. Just ensure that she’s taking them at least three times a day. I’ll take care of the rest.” John winked and clapped him on the shoulder. “She’ll be pregnant again before you start school, I promise.”

[anaalnathrakhs]

love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what

[knaveofmogadore]

You ever wake up from a dream so fucked that you have to sit there for 10 minutes after waking to rewrite the ending so that you can move on with your day or are you normal

[call-me-pup2]

Won't lie I am a little worried that if I decide to start posting on my 0F again in a few more months that some of my new followers here will be mean about it ;-;

I don't want people that don't support sexworkers on here anyway but doesn't mean I still wouldn't be sad to loose followers for it

[moneygoblin04]

I am stressed, and I am on edge, and I feel like I'm actually, legitimately reaching my limit. It's kinda funny how my mom was the one to push me there

[cowardlycowboys]

my parents die I'm blowing my brains out I don't see what's so hard to comprehend with that

[zhinee]

looked at old pics of myself at the wrong time and now im crying.,

[mars-ipan]

i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much