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4 characters that encapsulate emma™️

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emma's dog dr is alive and breathing

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your panda dr

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdNpMRCq/

linkkkk

NO CAUSE THIS IS LITERALLY ME. LITERALLY ME ™️ ESPECIALLY THE LAST TWO CLIPS. that is me. that is a mirror held to my soul. all those pandas are the only ones i can include in the egg theory. that is ema. plain and simple

kerry you genius.....

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anyway. someone stole my work. i’m not mad about it, i'm actually laughing, it's just like...why?????????? if you’re gonna plagiarise me, do it with some flair. don’t just rearrange my sentences like a cut-up fridge magnet poem and call it a day. be camp, you know ??

anyway i was just sitting in my house (mentally: a library, physically: wrapped in a blanket, waiting for my chicken to cook) and someone dm’d me like “hey your post was on amino” and. girl. it was. it was my post. it was my voice. it was my unedited psychosis!!!!!!! i recognised that syntax like a mother recognises her child in a police line-up. (no seriously i saw it and i was like "waiitttt........WAITTTTTTT.............?????").

i will shift into your amino account and delete the post myself. i am the post. kiss the hem of my thesis. you owe me royalties!!!!!!!

anyway. no one tell me to "take it as a compliment." i am a virgo moon. i take it as a syllabus. i will assign reading. i will critique your edits. my prose is not free-to-a-good-home. it deserves a plaque and a preservation order. not a sad repost under a crunchy new title on a platform that smells like middle school body spray.

xxx emma (original author. sole author. god of her own text. queen of everything.)

EDIT, EDIT. i was ready to let it go like elsa in an anxiety spiral, i was gonna be normal about this, i but no.

they didn’t just take one post, they went back for seconds like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet of my intellect !!!!!!!!! anyway. this is a cry for aesthetic justice. i’m not saying i’m shakespeare (the anons are). i’m saying if you plagiarise me, the ghosts of virginia woolf and a very angry fanfic mod will show up at your house.

to the amino lurker: you may eat my words. but you will never digest them. PEHRIOD

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which f1 driver/team are you rooting for this season? 🧘

max verstappen, baby. OBVIOUSLY

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omg why shiftok saying that loa is useless and that it is just "a method" 😭😭😭😭

people do not know what loa (law of assumption, law of affirmation, manifestation, whatever floats your boat) is, point blank

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Is it possible to make my cp from one jr be in my other jr? For example, I want to shift to mha, but my s/o is from Harry Potter. Is it possible?

yes

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I wanna get into F1 so bad but like… where does one even BEGIN.

so i wrote this entire thesis but then realised that.....no. i don't want to publish that. so here are my top youtube recommendations

rocketpoweredmohawk: controversial. very polarising....very funny.

there's also rick's f1 addiction....who's okay, he's more of a beginner friendly (what am i sound like oh my god)

there's formula duck

there's average f1 consumer

(don't go on twitter for f1. it's a shit show)

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not an anon telling me to leave black people alone because i said i’m thinking of dating hobie WHAT 😭

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not an anon telling me to leave black people alone because i said i’m thinking of dating hobie WHAT 😭

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how will coriolanus be as a girl dad???

you don't even know. i think about it more often than i brush my teeth. like this is not a bit. ok.

ok. so imagine this. i'm nine months pregnant. my feet are swollen. my back hurts in like, twelve languages. coriolanus is sitting on the floor next to the crib he spent four hours assembling wrong. he’s muttering to himself about torque wrenches like that’s going to fix anything.

he will be the worst and best girl dad alive.

like yes he’s overprotective. yes he tries to get our four-year-old into oxford via linkedin. yes he panics when she cries. he googles "how to make toddler stop emotionally manipulating me." he puts her drawings in his wallet. they’re just scribbles. he cries when she says "dada i made this" and it’s literally a stick figure but the stick figure is holding a tiny briefcase. she tells him she wants to be a dinosaur ballerina vet and he’s like "well obviously you can be, i’ll make some calls."

he’ll be soooooo confused. because this isn’t what he thought love was. like. he had charts. he had a plan. and then this little goblin creature with his eyes and my complete disregard for social norms shows up and suddenly he’s learning how to braid hair and buying glitter glue in bulk. he says "no glitter in the house" and then helps her make a glitter volcano for the school project. our six-year-old is serving powerpoint vengeance and he’s cheering from the back like it’s the hunger games but in reverse.

and lowkey. lowkey he’s scared of her. because she’s feral. she makes up rules and then breaks them. she tells him he’s being "dramatic" and he listens. she gives him a sticker and says it’s for "being less annoying today" and he puts it on his laptop. he's a ceo. he presents to board members with a glittery frog sticker that says "grumpy but trying."

so yeah. he’ll be a girl dad. and a wife guy. and i'll catch him humming princess songs while folding laundry like he wasn’t once the architect of my five-year enemies-to-lovers psychological warfare arc. he’ll fight the entire pta if they give her a B. he’ll host tea parties and sit in chairs too small for his knees, nodding sagely as she discusses the geopolitics of her barbie dreamhouse. and one day she’ll say "mommy's the sun and daddy’s the moon" and he’ll literally ascend. he’ll cry. not like sobbing. just like one tear. the most beautiful tear. the monica bellucci of tears.

i want 4 kids bro

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People are mad at you for your SO but they should be relieved. Thank GOD Emma isn't coming for my man. Haters should be scared tbh, ur a baddie. Ur literally Jolene

this got me giggling in class omg 😭💗

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hmmmmmmm…….hobie. as s/o . what do we think thoughts prayer etc etc

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not the person who sent that ask but yes fr you're so cool and i admire your intellect and personality so much !! i wanna be moots too but i have social anxiety like that anon so😭 and i kinda did dm you few weeks ago but you didn't reply so i didn't wanna bother you again or anything fjhrjrjdhfkshhdj

NO DM ME AGAIN IM SO SORRY 😭 i have both asks AND dms overflowing im scared to look😭😭😭😭💔😭💔💔😭💔😭💔😭💔😭dm me again . DO IT

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im also going to harvards in my better cr dr with my s/o and studying history and literature !!! mind if i script you and coryo as friends in my dr? oh,and what's coryo's major?

YEZ . YES. YES YES YEA YES YES YES YES YES . (after a lot of coughing from joy) he is doing political science <3

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emma :(

i wanna be moots

but how does one become moots?

maybe this is my social anxiety talking but

could i just ... dm you? are you okay with that?

idk you're just so so cool and i'd love to be friends with you

yes you can dm me !!!!!!!!!! I DONT BITE I PROMISE