#anyways. i am not a bad person. and i wish i didnt spend so much of my life convincing myself i was. but u live and u learn i fucking GUESS

[zhinee]

looked at old pics of myself at the wrong time and now im crying.,

[intotheelliwoods]

Alright gang, heres Avocado Toast! :) The Steven Universe style fusion between Sprout and Poptart!

All assorted art and asks and posts related to them will be under the tag #freshavocado <- <-

Here is a bunch of notes, some have links to related art:

-First and foremost, the fusion is the literal embodiment of self love. It is going to be super hard to catch them without a smile!

-The initial fusion happened by complete accident! Poptart joined Sprout for the night for insomnia mixed with feeling cuddly reasons. In the morning they woke up fused haha!

-Sprout didnt tell anything to poptart about his fusion with Big Leo and that it was possible for them to do the same, it was after their initial first accidental fusion that he opened up more about the concept and his experience

-You can often find Toast hugging themselves and fidgeting with their hands! A related thing to note is that it takes the fusion a while to learn how to use two arms on the same side without bonking them into eachother, and also takes a while to learn how to not fall off balance with so much arm weight on one side without being on the other!

-Clothes are not part of the fusion, when they unfuse the result is either Poptart or Sprout in some VERY oversized clothes haha

-The fusion between Big Leo and Sprout is the same fusion! Same personality! But minus the 'Toast' part of the name, back then the fusion was just named Avocado!

-Related to what is above, there is a thought in the back of the fusions mind thinking that they would never get to exist again, up until Poptart showed up that is allowing them to exist once more, and they cannot thank Poptart enough for that

-The first time Big Leo and Sprout fused (Avocado) was different than Sprout and Poptarts (Toast) first time fused. With Avocado, they fused the same way Poptart and Sprout did (cuddles) but this never happened before, the fusion panicked instead. However the fusion was too strong and stable to unfuse. Big Leo and Sprout didnt know how to even unfuse after all! Anyways they spend the whole day fused and trying to hide themselves from the family while also figuring out how to move with the new body haha

-Toast is, hilariously enough obsessed with Sprout and Poptart and loves to see pictures and hear stories of them, some part of the fusion wishes it was possible for them to meet the Leos they are composed of

-Sometimes when Sprout is having a really bad chronic pain day, Poptart offers to fuse with him as a way to 'share the pain' since Toast has twice the amount of pain tolerance, and can handle the pain way better than Sprout can

-Similar to whats above, at some point both Sprout and Poptart become reliant on Toast to fight for them in physical battles. Sprout doesnt want to fight, it hurts, and he hurts even after the fight, but Toast can fight for him pain free. Poptart is tired of trying to learn a new fighting technique and is often upset he is not as strong as he used to be, but Toast is strong and knows how to fight.

-lmao they also become reliant on Toast to do chores

-What Sprout and Poptart remember doing fused depends on how emotional and stable the fusion was

-An amazing idea thanks to @dianagj-art that I am in love with is that Poptart/Sprout and Toast often pre record videos and write notes to eachother to say hello in the only way they really can. Toast loves to see and understand who they are composed of and whos love they represent. While Sprout and Poptart love to see who they can become

Crossover notes with @dianagj-art:

-The initial time they fuse and form Toast, Sprout is so happy he gets to feel what it is like again. He missed the feeling. The fusion is super fun and cheerful at first, but with time Poptart gets tired and wants to stop. While Sprout insists they keep staying together because he doesnt want to lose the feeling again. Due to this the fusion slowly becomes more and more loopy and unresponsive throughout the day and zones out frequently. Eventually Oneion asks whats wrong before realizing what is going on inside their head, and is the outside trigger to get Sprout to finally let go.

-Out of everyone else, Toast has the best chance of getting on One-Ones good side out of the excitement of another Leo fusion like them. Unfortunately in Toasts attempts to befriend One-One through some sparring, it does not go well....

-Toast is a perch for One and Oneion... do you understand.....

[pumpkinsy0]

And…what if I asked to start this new year off with some angst headcanons? Specifically the gang accidentally forgetting Two-Bit’s birthday. (Bonus points if you throw in either Dar-Bit,Dalbit, Or TimBit,you can decide.)

Idk everyone always says they’d forget Ponyboy or Sodapop’s birthday. And I genuinely can’t see that happening with how the Curtis brothers act. But I can definitely see them accidentally missing Two-Bit’s birthday. I can also see Two having very mixed feelings on this especially if his own family forgot as well.

id tell u that ur soooo real for it i love drama too

•FOR THE CURTIS GANG AND BDAYS, mrs curtis actually made a whole list of everyones day so she doesnt forget and after she died, darry followed that tradition on (or at least tried to). darrys the one who tells everyone whos bday it is so EVERYONNEEE wishes them well, this time however, he was so exhausted from work he misread two’s bday as being later on in the month

•tbh, two bit never striked me as the type to put a lot of emphasis on his bday, he loves having fun but i dint think hes BIG on the attention that comes w it being ur bday, he doesnt complain about it however. in his head its just if u remember u remember, if u dont, u dont, hes not gonna wish death upon u or somethin

•he expected that from a LOT of ppl to not know it was his bday, but not the gang. maybe one or two ppl but all of em??? hes a lil hurt, but hey they got their own lives, he was probably gonna spend most of the day celebrating on his own anyways, hes not totally bogged down thankfully

•if u want him to b extra sad, be tried hanging out w at least one person from the gang, but they all brushed him off, he was like a stray cat walking around for one singular crumb of attention. they didnt even have to know it was his birthday, he just wanted to b around someone

•what would b two’s tipping point is the fact that he doesnt have cake, and i dont mean this in a “he wants to eat cake cause two loves cake, thats all his character is” kinda way. its bc he wouldve liked to have a littttllleee moment of connection w ppl he loved, its more what the cake represents ig u could say!!! the cake being good is just a bonus

•so god damn it if he cant have cake, he might as well get free drinks over at bucks, make something good out of a not so good birthday. thats where he bumped into,,,hold my hand for this🫴🏽,,,,tim,,,woah,,,,,

•tim was there playing pool and noticed two looking slightly defeated, which means a lot cause hes never seen that guy upset so whatever happens has to b solve IMMEDIATELY🗣️🗣️

•tim personally doesnt care much for his own bday, like truthfully he doesnt, so when it comes to listening to two, he has a bit of a hard time relating to him, not that he doesnt care, but he does brush it off a bit, he sees it as something pretty simple but its BC he sees it as so simple that he decides to stay w him for a bit, for his sake

•they played stupid games, they now have 2 inside jokes, yet they could never rlly explain to someone WHAT they talked about, they were just yapping asay. their asses were totally carved into this bar stool chairs, they didnt leave for HOURS, hell they didnt even realize they were there for so long till bucks place got pretty quiet from most ppl leaving. am i allowed to say that tim even gave two his number to call if he ever needed anything bc if all the free drinks two gave tim??? dudes loving dudes, u love to see it,,,

•as far as it goes w the curtis gang, they dont realize his bday passed till a few days later, darry took a look at that piece of paper and his heart dropped, he felt so bad about it and apologized. does two have any bad feelings over it???? nooo bc the gang made a surprise late bday party just for him and he got his cake :D

[ireverie]

(same anon who sent that last ask)

YESSS SABRINA WAS SUCH A FASCINATING CHARACTER OMGG! even though we didnt get to see much of her shes so crucial to the plot despite dying a long time before the fic was set like she fr set off a chain reaction 😭

and the way you write characters is so impressive because jakehoon are pure EVIL but you had me somehow feeling BAD for them?? i was lowkey getting emotional in the scene where sunghoon was "sacrificing" himself for jake because i didnt know hed escape LOL

i absolutely adored the way you crafted sunghoon's relationship with sabrina. the way he imagined spending the rest of his life or at least multiple years with her and not wanting to kill her until he had to because she found out his secret omg.. he really did care for her even if it wasnt conventionally and more in a serial killer fasination type of way such as letting her be with him for the rest of her life (absolute genius btw) but also fulfilling her final wishes for her son, and i think that sunghoon showing his affection in his own twisted and fucked up ways was a MASTERPIECE and you should be incredibly proud of yourself like yes YOU did that‼️

i think part of the beauty of your writing is how conflicted you make the reader feel. i mean i personally felt bad for jake when he had to see his mother get raped and killed when the last thing on her mind was him. plus describing the things jake had to witness as a child makes you think that mayyybe hes not a bad person because he was conditioned to think in certain ways. but THEN you remember that his form of retaliation was killing and raping another woman to "get back" at sunghoon and he actually is a bad person and then you feel guilty for feeling sorry for him. its a constant switch between "its not his fault!" and "at this point he needs to take responsibility" and i actually found it very amusing because we KNOW jake is not a good person at all and yet we cant help but sympathise for him. along with the internal conflict i also love

and ANOTHER thing is that rereading sexcapade/dylidl was a completely different experience while knowing what would happen in the future. it might make me look strange but i found it funny that mc is so romantically attached to sunghoon and imagines a future with him because she has absolutely no idea whats in store for her..

okok FINALLY i just have a question - if you havent thought about it feel free to ignore but what do you think about jakes future? do you see him staying in contact with sunghoon and continuing to help his dad or do you imagine them taking separate paths now that sunghoon has to go in hiding? and if jake doesnt stay in contact with hoon, do you think he would leave the life of killing people behind him especially after seeing what happened to sabrina since his last murder was just to get back at his dad or do you think he would continue to rape and kill women?

(im fully took advantage of your welcoming of long asks LMAO i actually am obsessed with the series and i havent fully processed what i just read because it changed my life 😓)

stopppp i dont even know what to say 😭😭😭😭😭 THE!!!! CONFLICT!!!!!!! it’s like… jake never had a real chance at normalcy lol his mom got killed when he was 5 by his deranged serial killer father so ofc you wanna feel bad for him, but then homeboy grows up to be just as sick dhdhdhshjdhshh i dont know if i mentioned this in the fic? probably not but jake is kinda like a younger sunghoon? in the past, sunghoon was very impulsive/reckless (as evident in the way he killed martina). and jake reacts to literally everything on impulse 😭

there is a big difference too, though. i literally do not remember what i wrote but i’ll just say this anyway in case it was never mentioned. sunghoon likes the act of killing (strangling particularly). it gets him off, it makes him feel a spark. strangling someone to death is kind of intimate, if you will, considering 1) how much time/effort it takes and 2) the fact that he gets to literally feel his victim take their last breath. that part is electrifying to him. it’s mostly about the physical part.

but jake? i wouldn’t say that jake particularly likes killing. he doesn’t have a compulsion to kill like sunghoon does. when he attempted to kill christine, it was bc he was angry asfk and literally couldn’t stand her. when he killed dr. lee, it wasn’t necessarily all that personal; he wanted to get back at his dad (i told you guys before but jake is petty AS FUCK in this series lmfaooo). jake’s desire to kill comes from a place of deep-seated rage that festers over a period of time.

that said, he very much is capable of killing for other reasons. jake enjoys inflicting psychological torture. he doesn’t need to kill them; he would be perfectly fine with just watching them lose their fucking minds lol. the main reason i don’t say no to him becoming a serial killer is that like his father, he will get bored of his victims, and need to replace them, but it’s not like he can have the victim walking around with the memory of what he did. so yeah, he would have to eliminate them!!!!!

as for whether or not hoon and jake stay in contact, i don’t really think they would… it’s not that jake wouldn’t want to, i just think that sunghoon would avoid having direct contact with him because it’s better if they don’t (legal stuff). i do think, however, that he would have heeseung keep an eye on him though :))

[internetkerosene]

first post!!hi! its currently 6:15 and i havent slept. im also wide awake. im listening to some electronic trance music while i do this!

i'm 19 and i have autism. even though i mask well and most ppl dont know, ive always been excluded from my peers. i struggle to make friends and keep them. folks seem to always want to hang with someone else other than me. in most rare cases when i am asked to hang, its usually as a last resort.

despite this i live strong with a smile on my face, and enjoy the alone time i have (not really). its currently summer break from college, so i spend everyday with my very awesome mom and dad, and my best buddy teddy bear that ive had since i was a baby. i also see my boyfriend (weve been together 5 yrs!). hes the only person i really hang with besides my parents. hes really handsome, but i wish i didnt rely on him for so much.

my days include of sleeping for like 12 hours, using my phone to look at stray kids stuff, and gaming for hours. i also watch tv with my parents depending on how busy they are. i recently beat final fantasy 15!! the ending made me so sad lol. now im playing final fantasy 7, and while i hate the controls, its still cool!!

my whole life ive experienced bullying. when i was little and in middle school, it was more severe and violent. id get called weird, ugly, and get pushed and punched. in high school it was more exclusion, ridicule behind my back, and constant put downs. not sure what i did wrong besides be a little different. i dunno. social stuff is scary.

anyway i think ill write a full list of my interests tomorrow. this feels so cool to make a blog like this. whoever is reading, have an amazing day! ur so nice for giving me some time of your day :3 xx

(srry for bad typing im doing this on my gaming keyboard so its kind of hard)

[oppositegenderscantbefriends]

This debate is lame.

*

Still surprised a ex of mine got i.g maybe exposed on reddit? Not sure if she okay-ed it or what I don't speak to them so not my problem but still weird an a Lil gross to see.

*

I want to fuk around or get into a relationship but at the same time I know I'm not mentally ready nor emotionally available right now for that. I also just don't want to spend money. I really have been selfish with myself and it's nice. But uh yeah I kinda wanna fuk around but that could cost my time away from making money and that doesn't seem worth it or productive. I did a lot to be who I am today an locked away the man wh0re b.s I used to do and idk if I'd wanna let that back out again because I started thinking what if I had a daughter or what about my sister's? If they saw or could see how I am with women would they see that as okay if I wasn't being genuine or honest or loyal? Would they accept a lesser man instead of somebody good in nature? So I stopped an changed my ways. Just didn't want them to grow up valuing something horrible and If I had a daughter I wouldn't want her to let men use her or think that what they do is okay or normal or right because they got something from it. That's just not healthy or okay in anyway.

*

Mental health isn't good again. Just not okay but at the same time I will be. Only because I said and promised I wouldn't do anything permanent. Although the urge is strong. I just know now that it'll pass and that it's just temporary pain. It's not gonna be like this forever. Even though I challenge that idea, I have come to accept it and started hoping it does. Really wish I didn't see and go through and have things done to me in life, seen things i didnt ever think i would, heard things from people i never expected to hear, and experienced stuff I shouldn't have ever felt. I know life isn't easy for many and everyone has a story. I get that, not asking or looking for empathy or sympathy because in my eyes. I still believe it's my fault even though I'm told differently. I still don't see it that way.

*

I wish I had somebody that would show me love thru making me amazing food recipes from insta, Facebook or wherever to just try out. Such a food wh0re. That and having somebody make you something from scratch or just overall homemade always means a lot to me because it doesn't need to be expensive or fancy or any of that. It's the effort and thought of that person taking that much time and thinking that hard about me that makes me happy. The littlest things in life truly mean the most because in my experience, they're always overlooked.

*

I had a bad health scare recently. Blood pressure wasn't lookin right, heart rate was a bit high but all good. Just almost maybe nearly went on a ambulance ride. Couldn't catch my breath, talking was nearly impossible. Heart felt funny a couple days but we good. It's normal feeling now. If it happens again I'll probably be in the e.r or possibly dead if it's as serious as it could be but I don't think it will be. I got really good genetics sooooo yeah. Just sucked feeling my chest that tight, not able to speak an when I did it felt like my chest on the left side was gonna pop or burst an the next day it hurting right in the same area like Lil sharp pains an also slightly unable to catch my breath along with my heart thumpin crazy fast while I barely moved(i.e. walked or picked something up or w.e)

*

Fingers crossed that some broad gives me the green light to truly give a real hard-core experience. I just would like to vent a lot of stress and hate out into some intimacy.

*

Lost weight 188 to 152-155 now. I'm gonna get back to bulking and hitting the gym again since I have a nice solid foundation to work with since I didn't lose too much muscle mass. Gonna have a insane physique and strength when I go back to 160-165. Probably take a couple months since I'm gonna be slowly bulking since I want a bit more muscle than fat this time. Although I might eventually get back to 170ish to just be a solid unit. But yea, the main goal is weight gain with strength training.

*

Might be it? Idk. I can't decide anything anymore. Just feel desolate. Goodnight, gonna hit my cart an fuk off for a while. Maybe re share post on here still but my post will slow or stop. Same across the board of other socials.

P.s. stand up an get help if needed. Be safe in what you do in your day to day. Take care of the only body you have. Don't be weak with people who don't care about or use you. Cut em off and lock in on yourself. Nobody will give you a life worth living, you have to make one yourself.

[sootcore]

vent post

i wanna be in love again so fucking bad dude. I wish I didnt have so many obvious insecurities. Also like, i’m really scared that I genuinely cannot experience attraction or have someone be attracted to me. I can’t even hold a conversation with my friends without getting scared or frustrated or tired, and I miss when I could spend all day with someone instead of being irritated after a two hour call. How am I gonna make someone happy when I can’t even do that? I don’t think I really bring enough to the table to ever really be liked, and i’m much too distant from anyone to even try. I don’t even know how to make new friends anymore, let alone keep up conversations and let the hell alone form a romantic bond with someone. God, i’m gonna be 26 next month and it feels like i’m leagues behind as a person, and with as supposedly traumatized as I am; which I can barely bring myself to believe, i’m really scared i’m gonna drive myself into total isolation by the time i’m thirty. I’m really scared, and what really scares me is that i dont even feel like im fixing it, like im barely trying. Is this being nonverbal? Am I just like? sociopathic? is this agoraphobia? avoidance? Dude I just wanna feel safe with people without having to go and create a safe space for myself. I wish I didn’t feel like some enormous misplaced monster everyone’s putting up with, I wanna be fuxking normal so damn bad. I wanna be normal and live a normal life and not think all damn day about how there’s something wrong with me and i’m nervous and constantly irritated. Who could ever even like that? Who could really want that? And god that and there’s not much to physically like about me. I hate that I expect to be last choice. I hate being told “i would have asked you out but i went with them instead” and its always someone who’s infinitely fucking meaner than me. Either that or my thoughts are just really warped and I don’t notice how awful I am as a person, im sure im barely aware anyway. I drove everyone away and now I deserve to suffer for it, so I think this is all a hell of my own creation. I really just want a fucking hug and to cry with someone for a little while and to feel like a person again. I feel like i lost so much of myself and everything i used to love just feels empty and stupid to care about. I wish i was worth more and I just wasnt so goddamn embarrassing and wrong.

[piecesofmicorazon]

god, why is it that everytime im here i have too much to say. i've been avoiding this as usual, even though i'm supposed to be on this self help journey. i'm supposed to be investing in myself, i'm supposed to be finding myself again.

but what does that even mean honestly?

here's what's been going on since me and bj broke up, twice. i feel like the first breakup was real but we fell back into it. we went to her soccer holiday party and then she spent the night. i love spending time with bj, i love how i can show this side of myself that i have never revealed to even myself. she has become the safest space for me. so yeah, it does break my heart that i'm not attracted to her anymore.

i want to force it, i wish i grew up different, i wish all the circumstances were different. something my therapist was saying that we are conditioned to see things a certain way sometimes. that real love is only between a boy and girl, that it's important what people think of us, you know. all of that.

i wonder if this world was different and same-sex relationships were a normal thing... would i think this way?

but unfortunately, it's not. this is how the world works and that's not how i was conditioned.

it just makes me wonder so many things.. have i been brainwashed this whole time? does any of this actually matter?

anyways, the second break up was really hard. bj didnt talk to me for a few days, i was just blowing up her phone on my own honestly lol. but finally! she came over to drop off my jacket, and it felt like everything was okay again. but i dont want her to get false hope, i dont want to keep having sleepovers that will not lead us getting back together, i dont want to keep breaking her heart. but i cant let her go, it's the most selfish thing i've ever done but i will never let her go.

in the meantime, i'm working at the coffee shop and i met a boy. like wtf right? and we all know how i get when i meet someone new. i already start to have expectations..

anyways we were supposed to hang out, and thank god we didn't because thank god i had my implant appointment. but then he came to my party on saturday and fuck he's cute and even more fuck he smelled so good, and i thought fuck, i could marry him. like what the fuck is actually wrong with me?

i was trying to avoid him the whole night but knew i would need to eventually see him and then it just all happened at once and next thing i knew.. his hand was on my waist and we were dancing and i was getting coochie butterflies. i wanted to kiss him so bad, i wanted to do the most reckless thing so bad. but then the instant guilt starts to seep in. how dare i? is this what i meant by "i have to find myself?" god, i wonder if bj knew... how much that would've hurt her. i'm such a horrible person.. am i really going to move on this quick? is this moving on? i started to self sabotage.. i started going back to that place i was at 3 years ago when i hooked up with those boys and felt like i gave myself away..

i really don't want to fall back into that cycle, i really can't. i can't do that to my precious bee.. right?

but yesterday ryan said some really lovely things to me and i was extra thankful that we were friends. he said, "all this over a DANCE?" and in that moment i felt like i stepped out of myself to see it from a bigger picture standpoint, and i thought. wtf? he's right!

i'm not trying to be reckless. but at the end of the day, i can't try to plan out my growth. perhaps a couple mistakes along the way is going to help shape my growth.. who knows. what i know is -- i can't jump into a relationship, i don't owe anyone anything and this is all on my terms. there is nothing to overthink, i don't need to be concerned if he's messaging me, paying attention, because i made a commitment to myself and bj that i would do this self journey for a reason. to be less selfish, to be more kind and hold more grace. so as i start this therapy journey especially, i'm going to learn about me again. unpack trauma and emotions. it's going to be amazing.

so cheers to whatever that looks like. my journey is my own and i don't want it to be influenced by anyone, even bee. that will be hard but perhaps that's what i'll have to work on letting go. even with a little bit of time i am learning that life does go on, time does heal, and i don't have to be bound to any expectations.

now. i'm still trying to figure out what i want to do with this man. go on dates? kiss? hook up? date? god, who knows. it may not even go anywhere. honestly that's probably is what will happen. i already find some things weird about it. i don't want to just be excited just because it's the only person that's in front of me.

still, that's life.

[ravilson23]

I just watched s02e06 of helluva boss and i have to say i am positively suprised. I really like this episode and i think it may be the best one of this season. This post wont be as long as usual mostly because i wont really criticize. I just wish to point out what made this ep good.

So the most important reason is obviously Fizz. I am suprised by how charming he is. Very energetic even when not on stage, kind of silly and sweet, which is an interesting combo with the voice he has. The way he interacted with other characters made this so fun to watch. Impossibly cute with Asmodeus, suprisingly unadept at dealing with bad guys and of course his whole dynamic with Blitz. This one was the best for me. Despite them being very agressive towards each other, i could still feel all these years they spend together. They know each other well and i am happy it was properly showed. I was even more suprised when i could see the child version of Fizz in his adult self. Like obviously the aversion to violence but also small moments, like how he was amused by the way Blitz invitined him inside a car. And especially when he asked for help. Its very hard not to like him. And his song, it was so silly especially the last part. When i heard "Luigi" i died.

I also appreciate how Blitz and Fizzs past was explained. I cant say i cried but i didnt cringe, and the voice acting was absolutely brilliant. I am glad it really was an accident cause it makes me much more symphatetic towards Blitz.

And while i talk about him, he was really cool. We could see that he is a good fighter and not an idiot with how he broke them out. It was really satisfying. The action scene despite being chaotic was fun to watch and its worth seeing at slower pace. There is this moment when Fizz is literally in Blitzos ass and his face is priceless. I only wish Blitzos skill would be more consistent.

Anyway despite fast pacing it was alright, the mood wasnt randomly changing and they properly focused on the plot and depiction of characters. I feel like sound design sometimes got wacky but i think its more of a personal opinion than anything else.

The last thing i wanted to talk about is Striker. Seeing him completely lose his shit was oddly entertaining. When he first appeared i expected him to be some kind of super boss, a more skilled but also more egoistic version of Blitz. Than he became clown with almost nothing to offer but dick jokes and now he is completely unhinged. Quite a transformation wouldnt u say. And while i still kinda regret him becoming a laughing stock (he became much less threateing), i can enjoy him being a crazy fucker. So maybe he isnt fully wasted.

So yea, these are my thought on the newest episode and i sure hope i wasnt the only one enjoying it. Now i pray this quality stays so maybe i will become fully invested in the show once again.

[skaardd]

sometimes life is a little weird

I wish I practiced expressing how I feel in words more

Even though something ended, and probably for the better it is still weird.

Its weird to spend a great deal of time, years with someone

Going on long walks together, traveling, drinking, eating, playing games, celebrating holidays, studying, watching movies together for it to just end

It's weird because I will be reminded of the times spent with this person, and I will just be like melancholic. I know that you were not the one meant for me, and I was definitely not the one meant for you, but I still get kinda weird feelings sometimes. Just because we spent so much time and experiences together so of course it will get weird at times when I am reminded of you.

It's kind of like I lost a friend. But it's weird because I don't think we were actually good friends to each other. I think I was good to you 96% of the time, and you it was 50/50. I can't lie, you tried to love me at one point. you spent a lot of time trying to do things for me. But I dont think it was actual love ever. I don't think we ever had a deep connection. you know that. we tried at one point... or I did rather. It's my fault for starting off things weird. but I think if we were really meant to be, we couldn't help but be in love with each other right off the bat.

Anyway, I am still confused by the entire situation at times. I am ok about it 97% of the time, but 3% of the time I get little reminders of your existence. you had an abrupt official leave from my life, but I think we both knew it was happening over time. I kept trying to keep things together, and you were confusing as fuck. I feel bad in general about it. Im sorry for being so abrupt on you. But then I remember the few weeks where you literally told me apparent? lies. You said to my face we cant be together, my parents will never accept you, and *thats* why. Then this story changed to - its not my parents its actually how I feel, I cant be with "someone" like you. Then it changed to - I actually lied about my parents completely. they never said a thing about you. they never had a problem with you. its just me.

It's like you search for issues/problems. Maybe you feel comfortable that way. It's like thats all you ever knew, so if things aren't chaotic you will fill that void in by creating chaos yourself.

Tonight is the first night since you told me I cant study outside that I am studying outside, late at night. It felt so weird to go back out after 7 and go to SBU to study. It kinda feels like I am doing something wrong by being here. I changed a lot of myself to appease you. I noticed that I became more of a pushover, and more submissive or agreeable with people. Timid, and not as ambitious, more laid back, more careless, less driven, and more people pleaser as I was with you. Thats not good. I feel like I am regaining who I am back again.

I am sad that I hurt you. But you kinda hurt me more. In my opinion, a good relationship is really built on a strong foundation thats created by a good man. I am not saying youre not good, but you know that you didnt display the best version of yourself when you were with me.

anyway, I am just experiencing these feelings and I wanted to say them out loud.

[ireallydontunderstandpeopleatall]

cont

he was still talking about " what else is going on" " what else can we get into" and i'm feeling disappointed bc im thinking like, was going to the beach with my son and i not enough for you and you need more excitement and thinking that this is the same mentality that had him seeking out other women and going to bars and meeting up with them in the middle of the night and hanging out with richelle at a bar during our long homebody streaks.

anyway i wanted to blog to let myself know that i did miss him, his company and i missed having somebody and i guess my therapist was right when she said i am not scared of being in love, just scared of being hurt. because it's obvious my heart is still loving, and it still wants to love him when we hang out, when we live in the moment together and when he is next to me, i still see some of the magic i saw in him when i was still blind. sometimes i wish i could go back to being the person i was when i was blind, but thinking of my ignorance also hurts because i think of the women who knew i was being played and how they must have pitied me for being with such a bad man.

and i also see that my heart wants to love anyone that is kind to me, i thought i had enough of max too when i was leaving atlanta but when i got back i just missed so much being in that hotel room with him and thinking of how he just let me have the reigns in his city and even though there was so much more we wanted to see and do but we didn't but that was because he was ok with just going with the flow with me and seeing where our adventure takes us and it did take us to some places that were like a fairy tale to me and i swear i was completely enchanted by atlanta by the time the trip was over. but anyway i know max is emotionally unavailable and i know i could never see myself with him and he also shows traits of richard/arson/korean david and i know he is another man that needs a lot of work but because he was so nice to me and like i told him i dont think he knows how much he and atlanta healed me but i appreciate him so much he really did make me feel like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. after feeling so insecure, shitty, overweight and disgusted with richard, myself, his women and just been here in az dealing it with him, going back and forth with him. but then i take a random ass trip to atlanta just bc this guy i hung out with a handful of times 5 years ago invited me and i agree and days leading up to the trip im nervous af to see max, scared as hell because i have not flown in literally years maybe a decade and almost cancelled because i was worried what my parents and most importantly what richard would think. but i took the chance and made the leap and i swear i came out a different person on the other side. the first thing max said to me when he came to pick me up from the airport was that i looked good and that was just the first of many compliments i received that memorial day weekend. and after having to tell richard that a girl needs compliments, and after changing up my entire makeup routine and wardrobe after being cheated on because i felt so out of my element and like i am undesireable. and having to explain to richard why what he did has scarred me mentally and emotionally and possibly cause a whole body dispora that i dont think he would begin to understnad what that means. mr max just complimented just because in atlanta. he made me feel like a damaged exiled princess in a new land where she can find happiness again.

anyway when i had time away from richard i get over him, i make progress and when we spend time together then i relapse and i rememebr something my therapist asked me "after atlanta how are things with you and richard? are you still getting pulled in?" and i said No. confidently although she didnt know he was at my house but i felt like i was over him and done with him, and california didn't pull me back to him but spending time at my house and in my room for like 10 days definitely did and i didn't know it was going to do that because i thought i was sure of my feelings or i was confident in how far i have come i guess and now i know i have cause a reset and i rememebr not wanting a reset with him before san fran when my uncle asked me if he was coming and i thought to myself i didnt want him to go because i didnt want to reset. anyways i think the thing about the reset is that i FORGET that my feelings get involved too and i think i was aware of the emotions part before but because atlanta has given me somewhat of a memory wipe i had forgotten about the emotional aspect. so now i know that i am definitely still healing from richard, my feelings are still there and i definitely still want someone to love and to have company because i definitely enjoyed it when i had it with him this past week. and i remember thinking one day/night that i kind of wish we could go back to our original plans. but those thoughts also make me sad so fuck it all still i guess.

idk this post just took a whole ass turn, maybe i will post more tomorrow because it's 1:30 and i'm tired and idk what i want to say anymore

[fraener]

4/3/23

what a horrifically terrible week it’s been. started with evelyn in the hospital, ended with a fight with h about r. i knew what i was getting myself into, i know healing that takes time, but when im already so far outside of my window of tolerance it just makes me all the more upset. school starts tomorrow even though i didnt catch any sort of break. no word from the prof and no published page online. the weather has been on and off cloudy enough for the street lights to turn on and blinding sun. i finally got myself to vacuum and im making an alcohol extraction for intermediary oil. i feel really exhausted beyond belief. i think i ought to spend the day alone. he stayed over last night which i appreciated. i just wish something would give. im tired of being the thing that gives. thinking about the word ‘give’ as the breaking of a damn and as generosity simultaneously. i realized how deeply ive been affected by the fact that i dont have a parental figure i can really emotionally or physically rely on. its a sad thing to face. i want to garden but im running into roadblocks with the school about it. i feel ive lost a lot of my judgement and so its hard to decide what to do. im tired of not trusting myself. i took a long nap that was interrupted by the cherry picker across the street getting stuck in the mud. i went for a walk and laid down in quince park with my eyes closed in the sun. i relaxed everything slowly, starting with my toes. i did a bit of ifs and figured out a lot of the root of the problem; my relationship anxiety/insecurity is being aggravated by the situation with r, the fact that i cant get any closure or retribution or anything from that situation combined with the fact that h jumps to her defense after 5 months of us dating is really damaging, and so i feel like on some deep level i have no one to truly trust, which is aggravating my issues with my mother(of course) because we’re shown all the time that the role of a parent is to always take care of us and be in our corner and ive never had that. finding it in a new person is proving equally difficult to finding it at home. my ocd has been so bad because i am so scared of going through being sick like that alone. its not enough that i have my own support, it gets me only so far before i really just need to cry and be held by someone else. and in the seat of the core self ive had such a hard time getting through the self punishment to see and truly be with the parts of myself that are scared and feel alone. all of the stress comes crashing in at once every time i approach it. i think my only goal right now is trying to work back into my window of tolerance rather than being so far out of it and so overdrawn. the basic anxieties of going to school in person anyways are enough to dysregulate me, obviously everything else on top is way too much for me to comfortably handle. i hope to get to the bottom of this soon. susan is writing me an accommodations letter so i can relax a little with school. i want to take good care of myself because i am all that i have, really. 

[soskonoha]

﹙✿﹚ ⩋ adoration for ᯇ tobirama ໑

꒰ 💭 ִֶָ b4 read — i don't care if you don't like him, i just want to talk about him !

[ ⁠♡ ] : i apologise for any spelling mistakes, i am dyslexic

꒰୨ 𝘀hort 𝘁houghts ୧꒱

✿ didn't Ino say he made the womens bath houses safe? like, correct me if I am wrong, but to my knowledge he invented a seal just for that, that's pretty fucking neat

✿ this fandom's view is so fanon on him, it's either cold bastard man or racist !! and neither one is true

✿ once saw a theory that he was amazing in leadership but bad in "selling himself"/putting himself out there, and I can't stop thinking of it ever since

✿ he built so much things, that's so sexy of him

✿ i wish he had more screen time, he is such an interesting hokage, and probably worked more than hashirama anyway

✿ i love how orochimaru said the edo tensei isn't hard to learn as if he didn't spend years studying it alongside other forbidden jutsus

✿ the scar vs paint debate will never fade away but i am convinced those red stripes on him are simply just paint, kishimoto draws scars differently

꒰୨ 𝗹ong 𝘁houghts ୧꒱

★ so many people say that him creating the chunnin exams was a horrible idea and completely goes against his wishes/ideologies that children shouldn't die on the battle field... which is incorrect. if you remember children cannot enter the chunin exams without the permission of their master/teacher, who is a jonin. as well as the consent of all three members of their team, and they have to be genin already in order to enter. they have months to prepare - incase their teacher tells them -. the chunnin exams is more of a 'are you sure you want to be a chunin? this is what it takes, it's nothing like being a genin'.. they also have to be approved by the hokage/kage in order to participate. so, these exams are rather to prepare kids on how real missions are like. they can always give up and leave the exams so they don't need to participate. we also cannot be sure how the exams looked like while he and hashirama were the hokages. we can clearly see it's different in boruto as well, so it's safe to assume that these exams change pretty often.

★ i find the theory that kakashi's dad is tobirama's son so interesting and i would love to learn about it if it was canon !! but he probably had no children at all... like we know of all of the hokages family but him.. hashirama had children for sure because we have tsunade, minato has naruto, tsunade didnt have any due to trauma of losing dan, sarutobi had asuma for a son and konohamaru for a grandchild.. tobirama probably worked until he died

★ i hate the idea that he is a cold person.. he is very emotional? he jokes around and is fond of people around him.. his humour is sarcastic and dry, he is passionate about konoha, he made a whole system because he didn't want any child to die the way his seven year old brothers did, he takes care of hashirama, complimented both naruto and minato, he protected sasuke during the war.. which a lot of people seem to forget? there is also more than just one panel of him smiling and showing other emotions... he is logical, but he doesn't push away his emotions, he just doesn't show them the way other characters do.. him being cold is just a very fanon view, he is just more cautious and has more boundaries

★ the view that he is racist is also very fanon.. like, first of all, they are all japanese?- and you can change out the word for clanist, but it still won't be correct. he doesn't really hate the uchihas, he hates madara because he traumatised him, which is fair. that man not only made hashirama almost kill him but also almost convinced him to commit suicide even if they weren't close, even if they were on a battle field. of course he will be nervous of what the sharingan and love can drive uchihas to do. tobirama isn't a perfect character, but he isn't horrible either. he is very interesting if you pay attention to him. i think a lot of hate just comes from uchiha obsessed naruto fans ? idk tho, but he even made the uchiha clan be the police force because not only were they qualified for it but to show respect to them after having a talk with hashirama (this is canon).. when he says 'uchiha evil' he is talking about the sharingan.. which is caused by trauma relating to anger.

★ tbh i like the idea that tobirama and naruto could be related.. like, it make sense the uzumaki and senju clans are distant cousins and often married between clans.. like, it is not certain wether the two are actually related or not, but it would be pretty cool in my opinion, would also mean tsunade and naruto are related which would make naruto reminding her of kawaki more emotional

★ the amount of things this man invented is so attractive!!! like half of them could definitely murder you but it is still so attractive like imagine how hard he must have worked!!! however i wonder what made him create edo tensei? maybe the loss of his brothers who he just wanted to apologise to? or did he just want advice from someone dead, like sasuke? its canon that hashirama knew of it and was against it, yet he did it anyway, so it really just makes me wonder

★ my favourite thing he invented is probably the academy.. like these kids can just go study for years and decide what the hell they want to be instead of being forced to be a shinobi no matter what thats amazing !! its so cool bc its obvious he and hashirama never had that !!! i also like how he made the idea of genin teams so they aren't just thrown in there to have to figure everything out by themselves... like he is obviously a very emotionally intelligent man/character

★ i once saw someone complain that he doesn't look his age.. but like.. he is a senju isn't he? they are known for looking way younger than their actual age, well aside from their incredible power! what helps me remember this is tsunade.. she uses her own jutsu to look young, but senjus generally look younger.. so he has nice genes not from his father and he could have had his own jutsu? i doubt he did, but if he would have it wouldn't surprise me, he seems to pay attention to his appearance

★ i think a lot of people don't realise that he is an albino? a lot of times I see people debating how he would look like as an uchiha, or to justife senjus being diverse in looks... which is like ok but he is just an albino person, white hair, pale and red eyes.. won't make him any less cool

★ i love his character design so much!!!! its so interesting to me that he generally likes loose comfortable clothing for everyday use (seen from flashbacks) or just long sleeved ones !!.. also !! his fighting/action/mission outfit is so cool too! i love the furr a lot bc it looks really useful !! like it looks amazing but its also great so no one can stab his neck with a kunai in fights.. i wonder if that is on purpose or just coincidental? like ofc it's soft, but no one can suddenly stab your neck if they don't see it

★ love how his fighting style is misleading the enemy !!! like making people think they survived an attack of his but the next thing they know they are being attacked up close.. like, he does it often enough to be a fighting style but never enough to be predictable that is so cool

★ i could talk so much about him but i will end this by saying that he has really pretty eyes,, like y'all see that man? a pretty motherfucker, i love the way his face is drawn a lot, it showcases his personality and aura

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

[spookypotato]

dont ask why, but

person A having a really bad crush on person B, but they're convinced B doesnt like them at all, not even in a friendly way, so A tries to cope with their crush by talking the B down and trying to convince themselves they dont like B that way

that way B gets the impression A hates them and B genuinely dislikes them at that point, because they keep saying borderline mean things

they get a bit of an enemies dynamic, founded by nothing basically and there are a few words that hurt where the one that said them feels bad even if they never meant it to hurt that much

but the dynamic continues

[enter the supernatural part]

then one day A wishes on... a magic well (idk) they only want to wake up next to B and they cant deal with this hatred anymore, because they've been looking for each other at clubs they go to or the school they're at, just to make the other see that they're ignoring them

therefore the crush doesnt grow any weaker, but B still doesnt like A, but is also kind of fond of their teasing

anyway, so A wishes to only wake up next to B and The Wishing Well (TM) Grant's that wish

next day, they wake up next to each other, both confused and as soon as they recognize who they're next to pissed at the situation

they wonder how they got there, sometimes it's that A magically wakes up in Bs bed, sometimes the other way around

the first time it happens is B in As bed and they cant explain it

they havent moved, theyve never sleepwalked, they didnt get drunk and they just have no explanation

still they wonder if they did something, but they would know right? anyway, let's just forget about it

til it happens again

and again

and again every single morning

at this point A is kind of catching on that they wished for exactly this, but not sure

B is just panicking, thinking they black out on a daily basis

but the thing is, they dont mind as much as they pretend, because after the first initial day of "what the fuck am I doing here", the second time, it's not that bad

theyve grown to like the light weight next to them when they wake up, the arm draped across their torso, the breath ghosting over their shoulder

they just like the contact, no matter who it was with

or that's what they tell themselves, because ofc they're developing a crush at this point

A doesnt mind either, it just stings a bit everytime they decide to break contact and put on an acts of surprise that is completely unnatural at this point, it happend for like 2 weeks straight

and no matter what they did, how far they were apart, one of them always ended up next to the other

then A goes on a trip to another country (maybe with someone, maybe alone) and as magic would have it, B ends up with them the next morning

if A brought a person on the trip, cue A trying to hide B in their room

B stays a day since 'they're gonna wake up together again anyway'

The person A brought travels home, but A planned on staying for a few extra days and so B automatically also stays, because again 'were gonna wake up together again anyway'

they genuinely have a good time there and replace the actual mean comments with flirty teasing

at this point they definitely both like each other

they go home and are reminded of their reality, they literally cannot spend a day apart

B used to have regular sleepovers at their friends house and they hadnt been able to do that in weeks, so Bs friends are confused and worried, if not a bit hurt, because B wont give them an explanation for why they didnt feel like doing thing with their friends for so long

when seeing B this sad, A decides to just try to solve this

they go back to The Wishing Well (TM) and take back their wish

the next morning they wake up alone

B is confused and kind of missed the company in the morning

A thinks it's for the better

after a few days (and awkward hallway glances, that dont seem electric because of the hatred, but because of longing now), B gets the courage to talk about it with A

A confessed what they did and tell B that it's better for B anyway

B takes a leap of faith and disagrees

and that's what happens when you listen to the song Vera by JUNG...

anyone feel free to write this lmao, but tag me, I wanna read it, please

yes, I imagined this with wilmon sh

[666bone]

.