#source: Community

[timdrakesbussy]

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim: Not much could ruin today.

Damian: Greetings.

Tim: Oh, shoot. I forgot saying that summons him.

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Agatha: Lilia, I think you should play the role of my mother.

Lilia: I don’t want to be your mother.

Agatha: That’s perfect. You already know your lines.

[its-a-show-stoppin-number]

Gerrard: you don’t see me saying anything crazy about Buckley and Diaz’s weird little relationship

Buck and Eddie: *in unison* they’re just jealous

[daddiesdrarryy]

Draco: Hey, you sneeze like a girl, Potter

Harry: And how about I pound you like a boy—nope, that didn’t come out right

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Matthias when he first met the Crows: *deep breath* I can’t spend all night being this angry. Because heart attacks run in my family and YOU PEOPLE AREN’T WORTH IT

[incorrect-bridgerton-family]

Simon: I don’t want to be anything like my father. He held the longest grudges.

Simon: I’ll always hate him for that.

[teenwolf-incorrectquotes]

Scott: Hey, how was the date! Stiles: Never doing that again. I thought he'd be cool since he was in-the-know, but he turned out to be super anti-werewolf. Scott: That's so sad. I'll give Stiles a shoulder to cry on, and Boyd, Erica, you two go find that dude's apartment and put a dead fish in his air vents. Boyd: What? Erica: Got it.

[hawkinsincorrect]

Steve, looking through Nancy’s book bag: Hey Carol? What does a pregnancy test look like?

Carol: It’s like a thin piece of plastic with a thing at the end of it.

Steve: Ah, okay.

Steve: Then this is definitely a gun.

[hanasnx]

MINORS DNI 18+

There’s a point in time where nobody can make SATORU GOJO do anything except you. He’s graduated to “full-blown-diva” as some like to call him behind his back since they’ve adapted to his way of life. Everything is always about him, and everything always revolves around his time. It’s nothing short of exhausting, and people have started to notice how the only person on the planet that can get him to do anything he doesn’t want to do—is you. They’ve gotten wise to how he’s wrapped around your finger, how he lends an ear when you’re in the room, and when you say jump, he doesn’t just ask how high. It’s clear to see something is going on between you two under the surface, so much so that the people around you have resorted to using you as a summoner. He claims, I was lured here under false pretenses while showing you the very misleading text message you’d sent him to get him back to work. You shrug, casually explaining your lie, “Technically you are about to get screwed in the boardroom, they’re debating about firing you.” After a lengthy discussion, he ensures you make it up to him. He deserves it after one text from you made his cock jump.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Tav: You're cute, but selfish and narcissistic to a point of near-delusion.

Tav: *leaves*

Astarion: ...

Astarion: They called me cute.

[incorrectbatfam]

Bart: Me and Kon go through your stuff all the time. Why does your family keep bread in the freezer?

Kon: And why does the mirror say "You’re special" when you fog it up?

Tim: I do not have to answer—YOU TOOK A SHOWER?!?

[fluxweedstem]

Snape: I think you should play the role of my father.

Albus: I don’t want to be your father.

Snape: That’s perfect. You already know your lines.

[incorrecthatchetfield]

Grace: Uh, quick question. Are you all coming to my Christmas party right after the final, or are you stopping home to change into your Christmas outfits?

the nerdy prudes: ...

Pete: I guess I could wear one of my Hanukkah sweaters.

Grace [uncomfortable]: Oh, Pete. I didn't know you weren't, uh, Christian.

Pete: Yep. One might even say I'm Jewish.

Grace: Oh, tha-that's good for you. Tha-that's wonderful. I respect all religions of the world.

Richie: I'm also Jewish.

Ruth: I'm more of an Agnostic.

Steph: Atheist.

Grace: The Lord is testing me.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Bard: We've known each other for a long time, right? You've come to respect me? Paladin: Sure. Bard: Well, get ready to stop.