#incorrect wicked

[dearest-darlingest]

[thebootstrap-paradox]

Galinda in her mind during What Is this Feeling?

Elphaba: I hate you.

Galinda, in her head: Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words.

[incorrectgliyeraba]

Galinda: [takes off Elphaba’s glasses]

Galinda: [feeling the last shreds of her heterosexuality slipping away]

Galinda: We’ll just…leave these on…

[crazysublimenightmare]

[tiredcactus12]

[owl-rocks]

Elphaba thropp:

[variousfandomthoughts]

Jude: And thus, by slowly taking larger and larger amounts of these small doses, our bodies will become used to the poisons, eventually making us immune to even lethal amounts.

Cardan: I thought we were just doing drugs together.

[isabel3710]

Dorothy: Mr Scarecrow, why do you want to see the Wizard?

The Scarecrow (Totally-Not-Fiyero), internal: So I can punch him in the face for his oppression against the Animals and starting a smear campaign against the love of my life because she is the only one to stand up to him.

The Scarecrow (Totally-Not-Fiyero), out-loud: ..... I want to ask him for a brain.

[moon-axolotl]

Madame Morrible, to Elphaba: I couldn’t miss your big moment.

Madame Morrible, to Glinda: Neither could you, I see.

Glinda:

Source: @moon-axolotl

[mylovecardan]

Vivi: Ask your man what he is most afraid of, and if he doesn't say "losing you", then dump him

Jude: Cardan what are you most afraid of

Cardan: You

[wildlyincorrect]

Glinda: I love Elphie. And you know what I think is the most attractive part of Elphie's body? Elphaba: Please don't say it. Glinda: Her brain. Because I love her personality. I value her intelligence, her tenacity, her thoughtfulness, and her protective nature. Glinda: Also, her brain is where she gets the best ideas for bedroom stuff.  Boq: [disgusted] Fiyero: [impressed] Nessa: [begging for death]

[starrynightsxo]

[penguicorns-are-cool]

Elphaba: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store?

Fiyero: I thought the animals might be lonely.

Fiyero: I could kill you if I wanted.

Elphaba: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

Galinda, shooing Elphaba away: Can you go be depressed over there? You’re bumming out my whole area.

Elphaba: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Fiyero: Apparently, we're not.

Glinda : Can you cut me some slack, Elphaba? I’m sort of in love.

Elphaba: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.

Glinda : I’m in love with you.

Elphaba: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

Fiyero: So, how long have you and Elphaba been together?

Glinda : No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Elphaba and I are not together. No. No.

Fiyero: Really? Sixteen ‘nos’? Really?

Fiyero: Quitting! It's like trying, but easier.

Elphaba: I dare you-

Glinda : Fiyero is not allowed to accept dares anymore.

Elphaba: Why not?

Fiyero: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

Fiyero: Come on, Glinda . Nobody actually believes that Elphaba is in love with me.

Glinda , to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that Elphaba is helplessly in love with Fiyero.

*Everyone raises their hand*

Fiyero: Elphaba, put your hand down.

Elphaba: I fell—

Glinda : From heaven?

Elphaba: No, I literally fell—

Glinda : In love with me the moment you saw me?

Elphaba: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Glinda : Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Elphaba: There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.

Glinda : You got a date yet Fiyero?

Fiyero: No...

Glinda : Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Elphaba: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

Glinda : Yes.

Elphaba: I love you.

Glinda : It back.

*Later*

Fiyero: Why is Elphaba crying face-down on the floor?

Fiyero: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born.

Glinda : Aw... that's not true.

Glinda : It'd be exactly the same.

Glinda : You're not important.

Elphaba: This is a very powerful artifact. You’d be messing with some forces we don’t fully understand.

Fiyero: That sounds like a dare to me.

Elphaba: Oh my god.

Elphaba: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Fiyero!

Glinda : So Fiyero knows about this?

Elphaba, walking away: No, this is between me and me!

Elphaba: Jellyfish have survived for 600,000 years without brains…

Fiyero: A ray of hope for me!

Elphaba: I didn't drink that much last night.

Glinda : You were flirting with Fiyero.

Elphaba: So what? They're my partner.

Glinda : You asked if they were single.

Glinda : And then you cried when they said they weren't.

Elphaba: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

Elphaba: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my dad love me?

Fiyero: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.

Glinda : Dammit, you ruin everything!

Elphaba: You're welcome.

Elphaba: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Elphaba: Glinda is still mad about it, but me and Fiyero were drunk and thought it was funny.

Fiyero: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird, but emotionally? Imagine the toll!

[incorrectgliyeraba]

Glinda: My kink is saying something ridiculous and watching Elphie go through all five stages of grief as she realizes she still wants to fuck me.

[green-briar]

Cardan: IVE LOST MY WIFE

Cardan: HAVE YOU SEEN HER

Person: What does she look like?

Cardan, crying: BEAUTIFUL

[swiftievolturra]

Taryn: I sleep with a dagger under my pillow.

Vivi: Yooo! Me too.

Oak: Phh. Coward. I sleep with a sword under my pillows.

Cardan: You're all cowards.

Them: Yeah, what do you sleep with?

Cardan: Jude.