#sorry if this is rambly and disconnected

[alchely]

I think we all fundamentally take Ian and Mickey's final episode in S2 wrong...

If we just take the "warm mouth" scene alone at face value then sure, Mickey is absolutely being deliberately cruel to Ian.

But let's look at how Ian takes it in the wake of that exchange, he talks about it only once in the next few episodes, and he says to Mandy that "Mickey thinks I pussied out" [on killing Frank] and he thinks he 'kinda' did.

This is Ian and Mickey soulmatism "we just get each other on a molecular level", so their thought process is somewhat inscrutable to us on the outside, but I think, in a way, that Mickey was already pretty serious about his relationship with Ian in season 2 and seeing Ian not willing to "fight" for them to be together felt like the ultimate betrayal.

Let's not forget that in that initial scene right after Frank discovered them Mickey was talking in plural, 'we do this, we do that'.

Seeing Ian refusing to help him the way he needed to be helped was definitely something that hit Mickey hard and caused him to lash out.

And it's not like Ian wasn't trying in his way! He was going through what he thought was the safest route to keep Mickey around cause he also cares a great deal about his not-boyfriend (let's not forget that the point of not killing Frank isn't that he turns his nose up at patricide but that he didn't want Mickey to go to juvie).

By misunderstanding his actions and not giving him time to explain Mickey jumps the gun and says what he says, and he's only able to see reason months later when nothing happens from the safety of prison.

There's obviously that other layer to the conversation, that Ian fundamentally doesn't understand the severity of the risk for Mickey and just how afraid he is ('we've got nothing to be ashamed of' 'what fucking world do you live in') because their families are so different, which will bite him in the ass later.

Mickey coming back to Ian in S3 the way he did, I know some people found it weird that Ian was immediately on board when their last interaction was what it was (cause we're fixated on the "you're nothing but a warm mouth"), but what they don't get is that this is Mickey forgiving Ian and giving him another chance, not the other way around.

Edit: I also don't think that that whole situation was swept under the rug either, Mickey learns pretty quickly that Ian isn't at his beck and call anymore at the beginning of S3, despite what their initial reunion suggests, that he's got "options" (yes Ian was doing it to make him jealous, but he doesn't know that) and I think that was him learning that in S2 he had pushed Ian too far away, that his words and actions had consequences in the relationship.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

have i mentioned how great cats are. there's a lil guy in my house and when i lay my head on her side she starts purring so hard <3 and ten seconds later she will try to open my wrist with her teeth <3 truly the best <3

[sorikufeels]

https://www.tumblr.com/pondrea/748403783611105280/dont-you-recognise-me

amazing art by pondrea (link above!!!) got me feeling things (the art is so good op!!!!!! 💚) and now i need to yap about this scene lol it’s of the moment zexion disguised himself as sora to riku in com.

(i hope it’s ok to post the link here! let me know if not!)

i’m CONVINCED what zexion said to riku as sora this still haunts riku to this day. it wasn’t even sora who said all that, but i’m sure the fear of how it played out in com actually playing out with the real sora scared riku to death. the fear of this happening led to him walking away from sora first, not even giving him the chance just in case there was a repeat scenario. sure, there was a lot of self hatred and feeling like he didn’t deserve to see sora as well, but the look on riku’s face tells you that this scarred him. this was his biggest fear. he rather fade to darkness than go through this again and isn’t even willing to risk that it could go another way.

anyway, this is just context for what i actually want to talk about lmao

so this is probably one of worst moments for riku right? utterly rejected by his best friend and now that friend was willing to kill him for who he is now. and it wasn’t even real.

but you know who that was real for? sora. in hollow bastion. utterly rejected by riku. his only means of defense taken, basically left to die. and then riku fought him tooth and nail until he lost and sora let him run away.

you know who got closure for their version of this scene? riku. he got it when sora fell to the ground on his knees in the world that never was, when he said he looked everywhere for him and told him he was still riku no matter what. sora told him exactly what he needed to hear to reassure him that sora didn’t think any of things riku feared he did. sora telling him specifically that he was still riku no matter what showed riku that sora stills wants him around. even if he looks like their enemy and even if he did some real awful things, he’s still riku and that’s enough. riku as he is is enough for sora. always has been.

you know who never got anything like that? sora. in fact, the conclusion that sora found to get him through is that he’s not enough. his friends are his power. alone, he has no strength. he only made it through by relying on a complete stranger he managed to befriend. if beast wasn’t there or if he refused to go with sora, would he have survived? he had magic but that would run out eventually. would he have even made it to the room he fights riku in?

i don’t think he thinks he would’ve. in kh3, he says alone, he’s worthless. he’s held that sentiment this entire time. no one told him otherwise. (until riku’s sacrifice but it’s murky about whether sora even remembers that at this point. but even if he does, it wasn’t like the scene in the world that never was. sora was able to dictate exactly what riku needed to hear with no imminent threat and riku was not emotionally compromised like sora was in the keyblade graveyard. riku was able to process everything sora said. that is a far cry to sora screaming in agony over all his friends dying, sora believing wholeheartedly that he's nothing without them, and riku just saying he believes in him. sure, thats what sora needed in that moment to save everyone, but it's not a response to his fears and insecurities established in kh1 like how what sora says to riku is a response to his fears and insecurities established in com.)

at this point, i think it’s obvious that sora knows riku’s changed from kh1 and that he doesn’t believe the same things. sora knows he cares based on his actions and how he saved him too and we know as an audience how dedicated he is to him. but it fucks me up to think that riku got that verbal closure while sora never did. that riku got to start healing from that awful moment but sora really never did.

just,,,, please please please please let them talk about what happened in kh1 i am on my knees begging

extra thoughts: didn’t think of this at first so sorry it’s a little disconnected, but maybe the reason riku is so horrified in that moment in com is because he realizes this is what he put sora through. maybe he made this connection himself and feeling what it was like to be on the other side of it, on sora’s side, horrified him. what’s worse, in riku’s mind, is that riku deserves to be in this position and deserves to be rejected due to his past actions. but sora never deserved it. maybe that contributed to why the self loathing spiral got worse after com.

[crybaby-bkg]

I started crocheting my first blanket today and my hand hurts so unbelievably bad and I’m not even a quarter done with it 🫡🫡

[compressedrage]

Hey y'all remember that series that kind of happened a few months ago where I was rewatching AvAM and giving my thoughts and such?

Well it's back. Hi :)

The last one of these I did was Monster School, wow. In May, good grief. Okay here we go–

The Raid: Episode 29.

This episode is awesome because we get to see Yellow and Blue! The beloveds! I have feelings about them and love them very much!

I've talked about this before, but they are so ready to help. They just escaped death by disintegration and gained an immensely powerful block, only to be met with more danger. Instead of turning around and escaping a different way, they get captured and decide to help. They're so selfless.

I love how when Yellow gets dragged off to make his own command staff Blue balks for a moment, before jumping in and taking charge. He immediately sets them up for success the best he can– crafting weapons, sending the villagers out to mine for resources, and even training the villagers who wished to defend their village. He's actually a really good coordinator. I'm so proud of him.

Here's the thing: often scientists/inventors in stories either don't believe in magic or are skeptical of its usefulness. Yellow, however, is not. His reaction to the cleric enchanting the staff is one of pure awe. He wields it with reverence and respect.

(side note: do you think those effects he gave to the three villagers ever wore off? they didn't seem to be on a timer after all...)

The integration of the Titan Ravager is genius, let me talk about it for a minute. Not only is its design amazing, but it serves as a parallel to King. Dead loved one(s) resulting in fear/bitterness, and then leading to seeking revenge. Someone help me.

[pxme-granate]

wait please share your favourite nevermoor fics 🙏. also what fics do you want to see more of in the fandom?

oo I can't believe I never answered this! Tumblr is being so weird about my asks lately

here are a couple:

at least it comes with dental—magnuschases

forgiveness (nothing to forgive)—magnuschases

^^those two have outsider povs which I am so weak for

so let's raise a cup ('cause i found someone to carry me home)—vaythefae

^^vampire au that I am OBSESSED with. like it is so interesting and well written and I wish there was more 🙈

In Your Corner—ElysianWayfarer

^^I really like the way the Crow siblings are written here, and oracle Wolfram?? presumably knackless Gumtram?? SO cool

The monsters gone, he’s on the run (and your dad is here)—krowtenretsnom

^^wah...crying over this one lol

there's more but I'm stopping there 👀

I love the family aspect of Nevermoor so. much. I wanna see more found family fluff obviously but also the messy dynamic Mog could have with her bio family and Mog being adopted into Hawthorne's whole family and the missing family dynamic that could've been between wundersmiths...also Lam and her family? Being forced to leave them behind?? (I think it parallels Mog and Ezra so. interestingly and it makes me ill lol) Francis and his aunt?? Thaddea and her clan's legacy?? ANAH. I NEED ANAH LORE BADLY. there's so much I think could be explored in fic ahhh

[celestialrealms]

from barbatos’s 20 intimacy phone call

i feel like this more or less confirms diavolo was quite young when he “convinced” barbatos to become his butler. (i feel a bit vindicated by the fact that diabarb has always been a squick of mine lmao) 

anyway so ignoring the context of this call (which SHOULD have been longer!! justice for barbatos!!) time to ramble about their relationship for a second hfdjfdhdf

i’m honestly kind of emotional about the fact that while, yes diavolo is a demon and does demonic things... both the narrative and characters like solomon will make a point to show that by the standards of demons, diavolo is a good person? And you can tell how much barbatos loves him even if he considers (or says) serving him is a selfish act of atonement 

idk this is incoherent, but something about the found family dynamic between the character with objectively the most “demonic” history and diavolo who is trying to change the devildom for the better and, YES, is framed as being objectively morally “good” for a demon gets me SO MUCH. this is honestly my favorite familial relationship in obey me 🥺

[ollierachnid]

I just know they cannot stand each other

[theplantqueer]

learning that sometimes a death makes u wanna treat everything with tenderness

[hollytree33]

I’m back!!

[mitsuristoleme]

hi

just a warning this might be a bit long so

im not sure how many people are gonna see this but

i think im gonna abandon my blog for a while

ill be back (again im not sure how many of you care)

i started this blog because i enjoy writing and dont get me wrong i still do. but its doing me no favours watching fics that i pour my heart and soul into, get barely any notes

i have a lot of thoughts regarding this that im not going to voice

but anyway

bye for now

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I'm frightened of you knowing who I am but, could you possibly give me your frank frankly theories pretty please idc if you only have like 2.1 I want them regardless of how many you have.

mayhaps?

ah man i wish i had some to give! i think all of my Frank theories (at present) are tied into other theory posts! he simply doesn't have a lot to chew on yet

[wildstar25]

idle thought: when did Arsay first find out about huntspeak? About it being an old traditional miqo'te thing etc? (also how does she feel about the whole idea of miqo'te tradition stuff just generally, is it something she's curious about, something she wishes she'd learned about growing up, or is she largely indifferent about the whole being miqo'te-ness, her place in the whole keeper-seeker dichotomy and all that?)

Oh great question! Well, she sure as hell did not learn it from Emrara. Despite traveling with Arsay's parents for X number of years, Emrara never really picked up that much knowledge about Miqo'te tribe culture and customs. I think Arsay would have first heard traditional Miqo'te huntspeak during her first trip to the Forgotten Springs while she searched for the former company of hero's member U'odh Nunh. Most likely she overheard some of the huntresses chattering to each other about a pack of sand worms roaming too close to camp. She was definitely curious but felt strange asking about it directly, so she kept to herself and carried on her task of earning a favour for the U tribe Nuhn.

This is a common trend for Arsay and learning about the culture. She's so curious, she wants to know so much, but its difficult for her to broach the topic. Not only does she not even know what she doesn't know, there's also lot of hesitancy to "outting" herself as an ignorant miqo'te. Like, every Miqo'te she interacts with treats her like a normal person, they assume she has a similar experience, base knowledge, etc. She doesn't want to risk breaking that illusion, she doesn't want to be seen as an outsider instead of a peer. So she doesn't question. She nods when people assume she's from the shroud, because I guess technically she is?? on her mom's side? She doesn't want to give them an opening to scrutinize or reject her for being different. She had enough of that growing up. Arsay loves being a Miqo'te. She loves her fluffy tail, her sharp teeth, being able to see so well in the dark, how easy it is for her to climb trees, hear from such long distances away. But she's never fully felt like a miqo'te. She doesn't feel tethered to Azyma or Menphina. Despite learning her father was from the U tribe, she doesn't consider them family. She wanders through the black shroud a stranger, wondering if she'll ever into another keeper with the same family name as her. She doesn't really know if she needs miqo'te tradition in her life, but she wonders if knowing something might make her feel a little more whole. That's why it made such an impact to befriend G'raha when she did. When he talked about his difficulties growing up away from his tribe, being bullied for his heterochromia (something that is generally seen auspicious in seeker culture actually!), it made Arsay feel safe enough to reveal she grew up outside of a traditional Miqo'te clan. They bonded over how little they knew about themselves. Even when Arsay asked a dumb question, he explained what he could without making her feel bad. This is when she probably would have asked him about huntspeak as well. A great lead up to G'raha teaching Arsay how to shoot a bow and arrow the way he was taught before being sent away.

And a similar connection point happened again when Arsay found out Y'shtola also grew up isolated from her tribe. Granted Y'shtola still knew a hell of a lot more than Arsay ever could, but it was something. A bit of security that Arsay didn't have to save face all the time

Now a days, Arsay's learned quite a lot from both her seeker partners and it's made her really happy! She's much more comfortable being a miqo'te living outside of tradition, especially since she feels like she's made her own tribe that can have it's own customs (even if some are technically south seas lalafel).

[kingofanemptyworld]

mortal x immortal relationships. you agree

[fettery-fetterie]

I'm just kinda thinking over what could it been had things gone just. Just every so slightly better

Had some fundamentals been challenged further

Had the right words be spoken

Had they didn't go all in

It's just so sad, because I ultimately do see them working on the right scenarios, but they're all just...fantasy, a fleeting dream, the unreachable

Oughhhh I love them so much. They're so doomed

[lovecanbesostrange]

Artist Mark Brooks (who's currently giving us a masterpiece collection of Disneyfied X-Men, please look at his Insta) did the cover art for that homestretch of X-Men Legacy (aka X-Men 1991 with a rebrand name) from #260.1-275. And I just adore it.

It's still so funny to me that officially Rogue chose Wolverine's side in Schisms. But then made a call that had Logan so mad he wouldn't look at her. So the book explored a little X-dynamic on the side at the school without disturbing the Wolverine & the X-Men plots. And when the time came for the big AvX thing the team had to sit it out, but also get one big fight at least for the tie-in and then Rogue was shoved to another planet for a bit. Only to come back for some "oh no the Phoenix Five aren't the good guys, better help the Avengers now" and then to finally break up with Magneto (in a story with a gay man dying impaled in rubble, because those two have the best date scenery start to finish iykyk).

That story with Weapon Omega and Mimic is fantastic. Oh, the homoerotic subtext in those pages is peak X-Men content. And everything is always about empathy, second chances, redemption, finding your own way, breaking free of other people's expectations. Christos Gage was allowed to write a very quiet story. Despite then having to shove in AvX (of course the Avengers looked like extra dicks, but I blame editorial decisions; sorry the escalation was on She-Hulk, I love Jen, she did nothing wrong).