#sorry if this is rambly and disconnected

[alchely]

I think we all fundamentally take Ian and Mickey's final episode in S2 wrong...

If we just take the "warm mouth" scene alone at face value then sure, Mickey is absolutely being deliberately cruel to Ian.

But let's look at how Ian takes it in the wake of that exchange, he talks about it only once in the next few episodes, and he says to Mandy that "Mickey thinks I pussied out" [on killing Frank] and he thinks he 'kinda' did.

This is Ian and Mickey soulmatism "we just get each other on a molecular level", so their thought process is somewhat inscrutable to us on the outside, but I think, in a way, that Mickey was already pretty serious about his relationship with Ian in season 2 and seeing Ian not willing to "fight" for them to be together felt like the ultimate betrayal.

Let's not forget that in that initial scene right after Frank discovered them Mickey was talking in plural, 'we do this, we do that'.

Seeing Ian refusing to help him the way he needed to be helped was definitely something that hit Mickey hard and caused him to lash out.

And it's not like Ian wasn't trying in his way! He was going through what he thought was the safest route to keep Mickey around cause he also cares a great deal about his not-boyfriend (let's not forget that the point of not killing Frank isn't that he turns his nose up at patricide but that he didn't want Mickey to go to juvie).

By misunderstanding his actions and not giving him time to explain Mickey jumps the gun and says what he says, and he's only able to see reason months later when nothing happens from the safety of prison.

There's obviously that other layer to the conversation, that Ian fundamentally doesn't understand the severity of the risk for Mickey and just how afraid he is ('we've got nothing to be ashamed of' 'what fucking world do you live in') because their families are so different, which will bite him in the ass later.

Mickey coming back to Ian in S3 the way he did, I know some people found it weird that Ian was immediately on board when their last interaction was what it was (cause we're fixated on the "you're nothing but a warm mouth"), but what they don't get is that this is Mickey forgiving Ian and giving him another chance, not the other way around.

Edit: I also don't think that that whole situation was swept under the rug either, Mickey learns pretty quickly that Ian isn't at his beck and call anymore at the beginning of S3, despite what their initial reunion suggests, that he's got "options" (yes Ian was doing it to make him jealous, but he doesn't know that) and I think that was him learning that in S2 he had pushed Ian too far away, that his words and actions had consequences in the relationship.

[shkika]

Hello, I just found your VV1 au and I love it!!!!! Anyway, V2 was the one that built them into VV1 correct? Well, how would react either of them react in the event of one of them being disconnected. By that I mean, one of them being disconnected from the body or the other unit or whatever.

V2 was the one who combined them yes! Made to be a machine of peace, it actually had the gentle dexterity needed for a literal surgery.

V1 also had plenty of issues with movement anyway due to being previously taken appart. Aside just-never being made to be able of gentleness in the first place.

BUT-! As to what would happen- it depends. If it’s during battle. Let’s say Gabriel stabs it through the head and gets to only ONE of the brains and kills one.

W1 (or what remains) would stop getting answers to it’s constant requests to move and it’d kind of flop limply down. The remaining brain CAN control the body on it’s own, but it’d be too busy trying to get an answer from the other one for a considerable bit. Each request for the other to respond would get more and more desperate until it falls into distress and starts screaming.

It really won’t be too hard to finish off, because the initial shock of it’s own head being silent would leave it vulnerable for a while.

-

OH BUT- something fun I also thought about. Putting on our labcoats for a moment and doing wacky experiments on this thang.

If you were to somehow put W1 to sleep and then seperate the two brains into two bodies. You can put them in view of each other and have them wake up and the scene would be kind of silly.

The initial distress is there, but seeing the other would end up in them confusedly waddling up to each other and *almost immediately* begin tearing each other to pices and parts (with care) so they can reassemble.

Like wow inconvinient I hate this. I want to be myself.

[autisticlee]

I hate when people tell me "friendships don't last/will change over time and fade away" and say I need to get used to/accept it. maybe that's easy for YOU. but most of these people also have committed partners that they expect to stick with for life. why can't I want that too? as an aroace person that needs to rely on platonic relationships to get the support and connection I need to thrive in life, and as an autistic and disabled person that needs consistency and routine and security and constant support to feel safe and comfortable to thrive in this society, telling me "people come and go/friendships aren't forever" REALLY HURTS. it feels awful. it makes me feel hopeless and even more alone. makes me feel like i'll always be drifting through life with no support and alone forever until I can't survive anymore because I *need* help and support and consistent companionship to live a healthy and stable life!

being aroace, I don't have the benefit of getting a partner to fill the gaps a lack of friendship leaves. I have no one to turn to when my friends disappear from my life or betray me. I have to rely on these unstable/inconsistent/short-lived relationships. it's not sustainable and makes my life extremely hard and scary and hopeless. so telling me it's "normal" and I should "get used to it" doesn't do anything for me when I need it to last for more reasons than everyone else uses friends for.

I know it's unfair/wrong to "trap" someone into a committed platonic relationship that makes them feel like i'm "trying to date them" (ive had this accusation thrown at me before, then the person ghosts me after) but I really do think I need a committed platonic relationship. one that lasts and one that's two way and secure and consistent. no one wants to offer that though. they save it for their romantic partners only. the sad reality is, romantic relationships are always going to be placed above, and even replace platonic ones. leaving me, an aroace who needs those discarded platonic bonds, out of luck and left out. forever alone, as the old tumblr meme once went (which i'm sure 99% of those people who used the meme are now i'm committed relationships and/or have at least dated a few times)

I know, i'll be told I need a "queer platonic relationship" but that's not as simple as going shopping and picking one out. I dont even know how you get one! that's as much of an enigma to me as dating and making friends! getting a platonic friend to commit to you're friendship for life and be your life partner and not drop you for no reason, as soon as they make a new best friend, or as soon as they start dating? sounds more impossible than simply making casual friends I can convince to play a video game with me once a month (im lucky if they give me time once a year.....or 3)

i've tried establishing with certain people I feel comfortable with and get along with well that I want and need this type of "qpr" but they either mistake it for asking them to date, are afraid of commitment and ghost me immediately, or slowly start to push me away and decide their new friends are better. so it's not something I can just "get" from any friendship i'm finding. i'm not even sure exactly what it would look like. the best I can use to describe it is the found/chosen family trope where a two or more people come together to form a family where they help and protect each other and live together for life. they don't date. they are more than friends. they are a family and need each other and rely on each other and it stays like that. but that often feels like it can only happen in fiction. real humans aren't like that.

however, i'm told by other chosen families/best friends/people in qpr that it is possible. so then comes the dreaded "one day" they all tell me about. (I don't want it one day I want it NOW. i'm living in the present not the future!) so I have a vague idea of what I want/need, but not what it actually looks like, how to find it, where to look, or how to cope without it. I need more than a couple friends I see and talk to once i'm a while. I need more than a group chat. I need more than someone I get coffee with every weekend. I need a roommate, a forever bond. someone I live with and have separate lives from, but also share our lives together at the same time. the perspn who supports me when i need it, the person I support at all times. but someone who doesn't expect romance and sex. someone who isn't looking for "something better" and using me as temporary filler until they get better friends or a partner. someone who doesn't give up and run away from commitment. someone who wants to stay in my life for the rest of life. someone who puts me first and is committed to me as I am to them.

a life partner, or small family group.

but so far I've just been stuck on my own and I dont have the patience or energy to keep waiting 30+ more years for this "one day" to come and I don't have any options to make it come faster....RIGHT NOW is more important and i'm struggling in the present.

sometimes being aroace really sucks....

[snatcher-no-snatching]

very annoying getting into a fandom where most of the audience seems to be on the younger side. there are so many concepts that are completely normal that just seem outside the realm of possibility for a teenager to even comprehend

I see SO much "how could anyone like this character, you know he's like 40-50 right?" and "how could anyone like this character, he's fat!" and "how could you like this character, he's a villain!" and so on so forth. Like, are you new here? I can only assume yes

[mapicccc]

"you can't complain, it's a force of nature."

kab says this, and yet, I think it is entirely what she is missing. she is trying to control balance, to control the server, while missing that this has always been up to the server. Yes, there is a large heart gap, but we can actively see players trying to overcome it and bring down those on top. that is in the nature fo the server. if one person controls it, where can conflict exist? karma's law goes against the servers way of working, and ultimately I don't think it will do much of anything.

[milolunde]

We all know Timmy is Wanda’s mama’s boy but we need to keep in mind he’s still Cosmo’s kid too and that Cosmo would love him just as vehemently as Wanda

[violetsandshrikes]

how do you help so many different kinds of people? i have noticed you know about lots of different things and meet lots of different people. i want to do that but i cant figure out how? /gen

A little bit of background is probably needed:

I have had people ask me this before, and honestly I had a little bit of a cheat code. While my life has been filled with a lot of trauma and bad shit, I was raised by a mother from an incredibly leftie family who walked the talk when it came to values and doing the work.

She had a lot of ideas imparted on us from a young age: social and community responsibility, ideas of collectivism, eduction. Even as a poor, trapped young mother, she was believed that many people behaved badly based on ignorance outside their very limited bubble, and that when life became difficult economically or socially, people would immediately point fingers at groups they knew little about or saw as distinctively different in order to have a blameable target.

From about 4-5, outside typical schoolwork, my mother also taught us about the world. This included different conflicts and genocides (which may sound horrific to some people, but basic information and explanation was given, and then it got more in depth with age), different countries and cultures (often she would randomly select a country from a world map, and we would spend a set amount of time learning everything we could about the place, culture, people, etc), different religions (I attended many different types of religious institutes at least once, and my mother often found people willing to talk about their belief system with us), volunteering, etc.

I have definitely had a head start and a lot more guidance than many people, which I am incredibly grateful for. It can also make it difficult to advise though.

Realistically:

Honestly, the two best things you can do if you don’t know where to start are: listen and learn. Find any local group, start participating and volunteering. Listen to the stories of people there. Ask questions. Expose yourself to all sorts of different ideas and opinions.

In the last year, I’ve started doing a little throwback to my childhood. I have a schoolbook, and I choose random topics, and spend a few hours every week learning basic things about it. Choose a country, choose a place, a time in history, a religion, a culture, a people. You don’t have to be a scholar. You just have to expand your horizons.

As you get involved with more things, you will begin to narrow down your core values. This is good: you can’t do everything at once. I would say roughly 2-3 core issues or topics you care about is good (this doesn’t mean that you don’t care about things happening outside it - it just means you don’t spread yourself thin). There’s different things people make their focus: LGBTQ+ issues, BIPOC issues, environmental issues, homelessness, disability, refugee issues, etc. Your core focus will be the ones you feel most passionate about, which is good, because it means you will put in genuine work and care, and you will lower the risk of burning out fast and being of help to no one, including yourself.

You also have to get comfortable with the fact you will never be perfect. You will never be up to date with every idea and practice. There is always something you will need to learn or unlearn. Becoming rigid about being correct all the time will make you more of a menace than a help to any reputable movement or group. You might feel uncomfortable when you realise the gap or misunderstanding you had - that’s normal. Be open to learning and expanding your understanding of things vs burying your head in the stand stubbornly. I say things and then months later I realise that actually, I don’t agree with that anymore, or my understanding has deepened, or changed, or pivoted. This tends to make people feel very bad or uncomfortable, but you have to get to the stage where again, you acknowledge that that’s normal.

[sorikufeels]

https://www.tumblr.com/pondrea/748403783611105280/dont-you-recognise-me

amazing art by pondrea (link above!!!) got me feeling things (the art is so good op!!!!!! 💚) and now i need to yap about this scene lol it’s of the moment zexion disguised himself as sora to riku in com.

(i hope it’s ok to post the link here! let me know if not!)

i’m CONVINCED what zexion said to riku as sora this still haunts riku to this day. it wasn’t even sora who said all that, but i’m sure the fear of how it played out in com actually playing out with the real sora scared riku to death. the fear of this happening led to him walking away from sora first, not even giving him the chance just in case there was a repeat scenario. sure, there was a lot of self hatred and feeling like he didn’t deserve to see sora as well, but the look on riku’s face tells you that this scarred him. this was his biggest fear. he rather fade to darkness than go through this again and isn’t even willing to risk that it could go another way.

anyway, this is just context for what i actually want to talk about lmao

so this is probably one of worst moments for riku right? utterly rejected by his best friend and now that friend was willing to kill him for who he is now. and it wasn’t even real.

but you know who that was real for? sora. in hollow bastion. utterly rejected by riku. his only means of defense taken, basically left to die. and then riku fought him tooth and nail until he lost and sora let him run away.

you know who got closure for their version of this scene? riku. he got it when sora fell to the ground on his knees in the world that never was, when he said he looked everywhere for him and told him he was still riku no matter what. sora told him exactly what he needed to hear to reassure him that sora didn’t think any of things riku feared he did. sora telling him specifically that he was still riku no matter what showed riku that sora stills wants him around. even if he looks like their enemy and even if he did some real awful things, he’s still riku and that’s enough. riku as he is is enough for sora. always has been.

you know who never got anything like that? sora. in fact, the conclusion that sora found to get him through is that he’s not enough. his friends are his power. alone, he has no strength. he only made it through by relying on a complete stranger he managed to befriend. if beast wasn’t there or if he refused to go with sora, would he have survived? he had magic but that would run out eventually. would he have even made it to the room he fights riku in?

i don’t think he thinks he would’ve. in kh3, he says alone, he’s worthless. he’s held that sentiment this entire time. no one told him otherwise. (until riku’s sacrifice but it’s murky about whether sora even remembers that at this point. but even if he does, it wasn’t like the scene in the world that never was. sora was able to dictate exactly what riku needed to hear with no imminent threat and riku was not emotionally compromised like sora was in the keyblade graveyard. riku was able to process everything sora said. that is a far cry to sora screaming in agony over all his friends dying, sora believing wholeheartedly that he's nothing without them, and riku just saying he believes in him. sure, thats what sora needed in that moment to save everyone, but it's not a response to his fears and insecurities established in kh1 like how what sora says to riku is a response to his fears and insecurities established in com.)

at this point, i think it’s obvious that sora knows riku’s changed from kh1 and that he doesn’t believe the same things. sora knows he cares based on his actions and how he saved him too and we know as an audience how dedicated he is to him. but it fucks me up to think that riku got that verbal closure while sora never did. that riku got to start healing from that awful moment but sora really never did.

just,,,, please please please please let them talk about what happened in kh1 i am on my knees begging

extra thoughts: didn’t think of this at first so sorry it’s a little disconnected, but maybe the reason riku is so horrified in that moment in com is because he realizes this is what he put sora through. maybe he made this connection himself and feeling what it was like to be on the other side of it, on sora’s side, horrified him. what’s worse, in riku’s mind, is that riku deserves to be in this position and deserves to be rejected due to his past actions. but sora never deserved it. maybe that contributed to why the self loathing spiral got worse after com.

[ollierachnid]

I just know they cannot stand each other

[celestialrealms]

from barbatos’s 20 intimacy phone call

i feel like this more or less confirms diavolo was quite young when he “convinced” barbatos to become his butler. (i feel a bit vindicated by the fact that diabarb has always been a squick of mine lmao) 

anyway so ignoring the context of this call (which SHOULD have been longer!! justice for barbatos!!) time to ramble about their relationship for a second hfdjfdhdf

i’m honestly kind of emotional about the fact that while, yes diavolo is a demon and does demonic things... both the narrative and characters like solomon will make a point to show that by the standards of demons, diavolo is a good person? And you can tell how much barbatos loves him even if he considers (or says) serving him is a selfish act of atonement 

idk this is incoherent, but something about the found family dynamic between the character with objectively the most “demonic” history and diavolo who is trying to change the devildom for the better and, YES, is framed as being objectively morally “good” for a demon gets me SO MUCH. this is honestly my favorite familial relationship in obey me 🥺

[adarkermiserablecrow]

It's so interesting to me how differently the two 'sides' of this ship war can spin the same scene. I've read posts about the armchair/couch scene from both sides of the aisle and let me tell you, if I didn't know it was the same scene I would not have easily guessed

[hollytree33]

I’m back!!

[mitsuristoleme]

hi

just a warning this might be a bit long so

im not sure how many people are gonna see this but

i think im gonna abandon my blog for a while

ill be back (again im not sure how many of you care)

i started this blog because i enjoy writing and dont get me wrong i still do. but its doing me no favours watching fics that i pour my heart and soul into, get barely any notes

i have a lot of thoughts regarding this that im not going to voice

but anyway

bye for now

[wildstar25]

idle thought: when did Arsay first find out about huntspeak? About it being an old traditional miqo'te thing etc? (also how does she feel about the whole idea of miqo'te tradition stuff just generally, is it something she's curious about, something she wishes she'd learned about growing up, or is she largely indifferent about the whole being miqo'te-ness, her place in the whole keeper-seeker dichotomy and all that?)

Oh great question! Well, she sure as hell did not learn it from Emrara. Despite traveling with Arsay's parents for X number of years, Emrara never really picked up that much knowledge about Miqo'te tribe culture and customs. I think Arsay would have first heard traditional Miqo'te huntspeak during her first trip to the Forgotten Springs while she searched for the former company of hero's member U'odh Nunh. Most likely she overheard some of the huntresses chattering to each other about a pack of sand worms roaming too close to camp. She was definitely curious but felt strange asking about it directly, so she kept to herself and carried on her task of earning a favour for the U tribe Nuhn.

This is a common trend for Arsay and learning about the culture. She's so curious, she wants to know so much, but its difficult for her to broach the topic. Not only does she not even know what she doesn't know, there's also lot of hesitancy to "outting" herself as an ignorant miqo'te. Like, every Miqo'te she interacts with treats her like a normal person, they assume she has a similar experience, base knowledge, etc. She doesn't want to risk breaking that illusion, she doesn't want to be seen as an outsider instead of a peer. So she doesn't question. She nods when people assume she's from the shroud, because I guess technically she is?? on her mom's side? She doesn't want to give them an opening to scrutinize or reject her for being different. She had enough of that growing up. Arsay loves being a Miqo'te. She loves her fluffy tail, her sharp teeth, being able to see so well in the dark, how easy it is for her to climb trees, hear from such long distances away. But she's never fully felt like a miqo'te. She doesn't feel tethered to Azyma or Menphina. Despite learning her father was from the U tribe, she doesn't consider them family. She wanders through the black shroud a stranger, wondering if she'll ever into another keeper with the same family name as her. She doesn't really know if she needs miqo'te tradition in her life, but she wonders if knowing something might make her feel a little more whole. That's why it made such an impact to befriend G'raha when she did. When he talked about his difficulties growing up away from his tribe, being bullied for his heterochromia (something that is generally seen auspicious in seeker culture actually!), it made Arsay feel safe enough to reveal she grew up outside of a traditional Miqo'te clan. They bonded over how little they knew about themselves. Even when Arsay asked a dumb question, he explained what he could without making her feel bad. This is when she probably would have asked him about huntspeak as well. A great lead up to G'raha teaching Arsay how to shoot a bow and arrow the way he was taught before being sent away.

And a similar connection point happened again when Arsay found out Y'shtola also grew up isolated from her tribe. Granted Y'shtola still knew a hell of a lot more than Arsay ever could, but it was something. A bit of security that Arsay didn't have to save face all the time

Now a days, Arsay's learned quite a lot from both her seeker partners and it's made her really happy! She's much more comfortable being a miqo'te living outside of tradition, especially since she feels like she's made her own tribe that can have it's own customs (even if some are technically south seas lalafel).

[kingofanemptyworld]

mortal x immortal relationships. you agree

[fettery-fetterie]

I'm just kinda thinking over what could it been had things gone just. Just every so slightly better

Had some fundamentals been challenged further

Had the right words be spoken

Had they didn't go all in

It's just so sad, because I ultimately do see them working on the right scenarios, but they're all just...fantasy, a fleeting dream, the unreachable

Oughhhh I love them so much. They're so doomed