#sorry for all my rambling disconnected thoughts

[sorikufeels]

https://www.tumblr.com/pondrea/748403783611105280/dont-you-recognise-me

amazing art by pondrea (link above!!!) got me feeling things (the art is so good op!!!!!! 💚) and now i need to yap about this scene lol it’s of the moment zexion disguised himself as sora to riku in com.

(i hope it’s ok to post the link here! let me know if not!)

i’m CONVINCED what zexion said to riku as sora this still haunts riku to this day. it wasn’t even sora who said all that, but i’m sure the fear of how it played out in com actually playing out with the real sora scared riku to death. the fear of this happening led to him walking away from sora first, not even giving him the chance just in case there was a repeat scenario. sure, there was a lot of self hatred and feeling like he didn’t deserve to see sora as well, but the look on riku’s face tells you that this scarred him. this was his biggest fear. he rather fade to darkness than go through this again and isn’t even willing to risk that it could go another way.

anyway, this is just context for what i actually want to talk about lmao

so this is probably one of worst moments for riku right? utterly rejected by his best friend and now that friend was willing to kill him for who he is now. and it wasn’t even real.

but you know who that was real for? sora. in hollow bastion. utterly rejected by riku. his only means of defense taken, basically left to die. and then riku fought him tooth and nail until he lost and sora let him run away.

you know who got closure for their version of this scene? riku. he got it when sora fell to the ground on his knees in the world that never was, when he said he looked everywhere for him and told him he was still riku no matter what. sora told him exactly what he needed to hear to reassure him that sora didn’t think any of things riku feared he did. sora telling him specifically that he was still riku no matter what showed riku that sora stills wants him around. even if he looks like their enemy and even if he did some real awful things, he’s still riku and that’s enough. riku as he is is enough for sora. always has been.

you know who never got anything like that? sora. in fact, the conclusion that sora found to get him through is that he’s not enough. his friends are his power. alone, he has no strength. he only made it through by relying on a complete stranger he managed to befriend. if beast wasn’t there or if he refused to go with sora, would he have survived? he had magic but that would run out eventually. would he have even made it to the room he fights riku in?

i don’t think he thinks he would’ve. in kh3, he says alone, he’s worthless. he’s held that sentiment this entire time. no one told him otherwise. (until riku’s sacrifice but it’s murky about whether sora even remembers that at this point. but even if he does, it wasn’t like the scene in the world that never was. sora was able to dictate exactly what riku needed to hear with no imminent threat and riku was not emotionally compromised like sora was in the keyblade graveyard. riku was able to process everything sora said. that is a far cry to sora screaming in agony over all his friends dying, sora believing wholeheartedly that he's nothing without them, and riku just saying he believes in him. sure, thats what sora needed in that moment to save everyone, but it's not a response to his fears and insecurities established in kh1 like how what sora says to riku is a response to his fears and insecurities established in com.)

at this point, i think it’s obvious that sora knows riku’s changed from kh1 and that he doesn’t believe the same things. sora knows he cares based on his actions and how he saved him too and we know as an audience how dedicated he is to him. but it fucks me up to think that riku got that verbal closure while sora never did. that riku got to start healing from that awful moment but sora really never did.

just,,,, please please please please let them talk about what happened in kh1 i am on my knees begging

extra thoughts: didn’t think of this at first so sorry it’s a little disconnected, but maybe the reason riku is so horrified in that moment in com is because he realizes this is what he put sora through. maybe he made this connection himself and feeling what it was like to be on the other side of it, on sora’s side, horrified him. what’s worse, in riku’s mind, is that riku deserves to be in this position and deserves to be rejected due to his past actions. but sora never deserved it. maybe that contributed to why the self loathing spiral got worse after com.

[kingofanemptyworld]

mortal x immortal relationships. you agree

[jsluvtzu]

late nights

g!p minatozaki sana x fem!reader

summary: you get a taste of her version of an after-party

cw: smut!!! really nasty smut!!!!!, somnophilia, breeding kink, honestly no plot, men dni

wc: 2k

a/n: wrote this while listening to muse by pnd anddd lemme tell yall… this fic is so muse coded

you splashed your face with water one last time, pat drying it with a towel.

it was 11:24 pm on a friday night, and you decided to have a self-care night while your girlfriend drank her life away at a work party.

the song you had playing on the bluetooth speaker paused and got replaced with a now blaring ringtone.

you disconnected your phone from the speaker and answered it to hear the one voice you’ve missed all day.

“y/nnnn, my favorite girl everrr, hiiii”, sana’s slurred words and giggly tone filled the ear you held to your phone.

you chuckled at your girlfriend’s cute greeting, wondering how many shots of soju she’s had already.

“hii cutie, you having fun?”

“mmm i guess.. nayeon unnie keeps crying and telling me how pretty i am.”

you hummed and walked into your shared bedroom, switching the call to speakerphone and placing your phone on the bed.

“what’ve you been up to without me?”

“i just finished getting ready for bed, that’s all.”, you missed being able to have some time to yourself, but you missed your girlfriend more.

“yeah? what else did you do?”

you heard shuffling noises and small grunts over the phone, but thought nothing of it as you took your sleep shorts off, sliding into bed with nothing on other than sana’s oversized tee.

“hmm, i cleaned a little, took a nice, hot shower, did a face mask, and-“

sana interrupted your rambling with louder groans and you finally realized what she was doing.

“mhm, keep talking for me baby.”

your cheeks burned up immediately at the thought of sana touching herself to the sound of your voice.

“sana.. aren’t there people around you right now?”

“i’m in a stall love. don’t worry about me, ‘just wanna hear your pretty voice.”

“why don’t you just come home and let me help you? it’ll feel so much better, i promise.”, your mind getting filled with dirtier thoughts by the minute.

“fuck, i can’t baby, not yet. jeongie wants us to play some dumb drinking game.”

you groaned in annoyance and pulled the comforter higher up your body.

“i know, ‘m sorry baby, i’ll be home in an hour or two, okay?”

“mhm, whatever..”, you knew that was a lie. every time sana went out with her coworkers, it would always be an all night thing.

unfortunately, sana got you all needy for her from just one phone call, but she wasn’t there to help you relieve your urges.

you turned to lay on your side and rubbed your thighs together in an attempt to soothe the throbbing pain between your legs.

“shit, i gotta go y/n, just wait for me. i’ll be home soon and make you feel better, yeah?”

reluctantly, you agreed and hung up the phone, placing it on your nightstand and turning on a random show on the tv, putting the volume on low.

the dim light from the living room was the only source of light that shined through your open door, the warm ambience calming you into a state of drowsiness.

you fought with yourself to keep your eyes open in hopes that sana would actually keep her promise and come home at a reasonable time.

that fight ended rather quickly.

—

several hours had passed when sana finally came home, extremely drunk and horny.

she stumbled her way through the hallways, bumping into anything and everything in sight.

when she got to the doorway of your shared room, she stopped and held the door frame, stabling herself.

she stood there, staring and observing your peacefully sleeping figure.

you were laying stomach faced down and had one leg hanging out of the blanket, ass fully on display for her.

sana pushed herself off the wall and carefully approached the bed, trying her best not to make any noise.

not that it would wake you up anyways, you were always a pretty heavy sleeper.

as she made her way over to you, she kept her eyes locked on your visibly wet pussy, simultaneously slipping out of her leather jacket.

she got close enough to brush her fingers over your ankle all the way up to your waist, and up again to your face, softly caressing your cheek with the side of her finger.

your messy hair covering half your face. your soft, deep breathing and curved figure. you sobered sana up better than a good night’s sleep could.

she had a moment of clarity. never having thoughts any clearer than right now.

she needed to fuck you. just like this.

sana reached her free hand down her crotch to unzip her jeans, fishing her own cock out in hand.

it wasn’t enough to just stand there and stroke herself to the mere sight of you, she needed to use you.

she stood up straight and lifted one leg up and over the bed, clumsily straddling herself over your legs on her knees.

her skinny jeans were limiting her movement, so she pulled them and her boxers further down her thighs, allowing them to pool at her knees.

sana’s cock was hurting at this point, just eager to have your tight walls wrapped around her.

she ran her tip along your puffy folds, collecting your previous arousal on it and mixing it with her leaking precum.

soft moans escaped her lips when she accidentally dipped herself inside you, throwing her head back and biting her lip, relishing the moment.

“fuck y/n, you’ve just been here all wet and ready for me, huh? poor baby must’ve been so tired, she couldn’t even stay up a few more hours.”, sana whispered.

she was mumbling the filthiest things and having a whole conversation with herself.

“i know this is wrong love, i shouldn’t be this hard when i see you laid out like this. lookin’ all pretty for me while you’re sleeping.”

sana slid your shirt up your back as far as she could without lifting your body, losing her grip on reality when she saw the way your back was slightly arched.

“arching for me even in your sleep? fuck baby, you want this. yeah, you were waiting for this. just waiting for me to take advantage of you when you can’t tell me yourself.”

sana rubbed her hands over your ass, gently massaging your flesh.

“ ‘this why you wanted me to come home so bad? so i could fuck you out of your dreams? wake you up with my dick so fucking deep inside your pussy? huh? my pretty girl..”

you let out a small, short grunt, stretching and adjusting your position, still fully asleep.

sana paused her movements in fear that she woke you up before her fun started, but she smiled when she realized you actually had no clue what was going on, subconsciously angling yourself at an even better position for her.

“look at that.. poor needy little thing just begging to be fucked even when she’s unconscious. how cute..”

she tapped her cock up against your clit a couple times before she ran through your slit down to your entrance, inching herself inside.

dragging out her slow thrust, she made sure to feel every single bit of you, taking in how your pussy stretched around her thick, long cock.

she let out a low groan when she hit your cervix, the whole length of her cock disappeared from view.

“shit.. y/n. you take me so fucking well. god, look at you baby.”

she pulled out of you at the same leisurely pace with no struggle, given how wet you already were.

sana lifted up her t-shirt with her left hand, bunching it up just above her breasts, her abs flexing with every breath she took.

her right hand stayed on the small of your back, holding you in place while she teased herself inside of you, thrusting in and out of you painfully slow.

“you feel so good like this, y/n. fuck, you were right. i should’ve just- fuck- came home and let you help me.”

her pace was getting sloppier, words struggling to become coherent.

“still not awake yet, love? better be dreaming of me if you’re sleeping this good.”

sana was closer to cumming than she thought, her neediness getting the best of her.

she leaned over your figure, hands landing on either side of you, lowering herself to fuck you at an insane pace.

“ ‘gna put a fucking baby in this pretty little pussy.”

you heard her voice right in your ear, slightly stirring out of your sleep.

sana moved her hips in an uncoordinated and messy rhythm, her drunkenness still apparent.

her thrusts were heavy, the whole bed shaking when she started fucking into you roughly.

you were almost fully awake now, feeling how full of your girlfriend’s cock you were, moaning lightly at the way sana pushed up against your sweet spot.

“s- sana..”

“aww, is my baby finally up? change your mind?”

sana stopped and waited for your approval, or any sign that you were genuinely uncomfortable.

“no, please. keep going..”

she leaned down to kiss your cheek, moving down to your neck, the smell of alcohol on her breath pungent.

“i knew you wanted it, baby. such a pretty fucking slut for me. you’d let me use you anytime, wouldn’t you?”

your breathy moans and whines encouraged sana to fuck you even faster than before, her growing urge to cum inside you being the only thing on her mind.

sana straightened herself back up and grabbed your hips, pulling you closer to her so that you were supported on your knees, face still down on your pillow.

her bruising grip stayed on both sides of your waist, resuming her animalistic speed.

you clutched onto the sheets below you, screaming out in pleasure into your silk pillow.

sana hated that your moans were muffled, she needed to hear every pretty sound you made.

her right hand left your side and made its way up to your hair, grabbing a fistful of your strands, yanking forcefully until you were flush up against her.

you yelped at her roughness, moaning at the way it turned you on twice as much.

“fuck, sana. just like that, fuck- please don’t fucking stop.”

“yeah? you like it when i fuck you like the toy you are? hm? ‘love it when i use you like a fucking fleshlight. dumb slut can’t even think right when i’m fuckin’ her this good.”

you moaned uncontrollably at sana’s words, your mind going blurrier and blurrier.

both you and sana’s moans were in sync, a perfect harmony.

“shit- i’m so fucking close y/n. ‘gna fucking cum inside you.”

“fuck, please, yes, please, i can take it, ‘just fucking get me pregnant.”

you didn’t even realize what you said, too fucked out to think rationally.

sana was basically growling in your ear, holding you tightly against her with her arms wrapped around your waist.

she let her grip on you go, flipping you over and pushing you down on your back, thrusting into you inhumanly fast.

tears rolled out the corners of your eyes, the pleasure overwhelming you.

sana’s hands wrapped around your throat, her eyes staring deeply into yours and her mouth slightly open, letting out short groans and curses.

“fuck fuck fuck, ‘m gonna cum, oh fuck-“

sana slammed her hips down, stilling her movements and moaning every time her cum pulsed out of her cock.

you felt her warm liquid filling you up, whining at the way her dick twitched inside you.

her hands loosened from your neck, her body crashing down onto yours as she tried to catch her breath.

she didn’t pull out yet, her dick too sensitive to move.

you reached your hands up to her hair, raking your fingers through her tangles, stroking her head gently.

the sleepiness was sneaking its way back to you, your eyes fluttering closed.

after a couple minutes of sana laying on top of you, she pulled out and looked up at you, kissing her way down your body.

she reached your sticky, cum-filled core, hovering over it with hungry eyes.

“let me clean you up, baby.”

you didn’t even care that sana stayed out too late anymore, she definitely made up for it.

[irafuwas]

all of this yes!! his sudden departure, his flippant reluctance to face silver and malleus one last time before he left, his nonchalance towards abandoning the house he raised silver in, telling the boy he could leave it for the forest to tear down and reclaim - all of it makes so much more sense now in light of chapter five. he felt his role in silver's life was over and done with, he felt there was no need to return to a house that had long served its purpose, he felt that he had already served his purpose. he felt "if i do not love him, if i do not allow myself to pluck the stars from his eyes and call them my own then it will not hurt me when he leaves me."

i'm not sure if lilia has ever experienced being someone's first choice, and i think that might play into his difficulties with accepting love. he wasn't his parents' first choice. he wasn't meleanor's or levan's. his duty as a servant forbade him from being malleus's. so why should silver be any different? why should he choose to waste what precious little time he has left on this earth for lilia - for this wretched, weak old man who has nothing to give him in return?

once he finally awakens, i desperately need silver to question lilia - ask him why is he dreaming of all this warfare and strife, why is he choosing to relive every heartbreak, every sacrifice and regret, why is he choosing to accept the irrevocable destruction of his own personal nirvana. is this not meant to be his One wish, his One chance to at last taste and cherish and revel in all the happiness he has ever been denied!?

and i need lilia to look his son in the eyes and take his face in his trembling hands and tell him he is dreaming all this because Silver is his happy ending, that he'd rather set himself on fire all over again than accept a world where he never picks up that lonely little baby and weaves pure moonlight into every strand of hair on his head.

Lilia seems to dance around calling Silver his son despite obviously viewing him and loving him that way, tying into his inability to express his emotions properly and his habit of being unintentionally closed off

I hope the status quo change isn’t death, but Lilia being able to openly call Silver his son and Silver finally getting Vanrouge as his last name

[lon3rlife]

Panic attack

Rick Sanchez x Reader

My anxiety has really been kicking my ass lately. I’m going to try write this attempting to display how a panic attack feels to the best of my ability. Enjoy <3333

“Oh mann this is going to be the craziest party ever! I-I’m gonna get so fucking wasted-oh shitt this is going to be great. We’re going to party all god damn night.” Rick says rambling on about the crazy alien party you guys are going to. Rick has been talking about it for weeks saying that it’s pretty much a party that happens once a year on another planet where the whole planet parties and it’s supposed to be a lot of fun.

“Mhm yeah.” You say trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible.

Walking the streets of a whole different planet is usually not too triggering for your anxiety since you and Rick have been going on adventures together for quite some time, but tonight feels different. Your heart rate is speeding up and your thoughts are racing, but you try your best to try to stay present in the moment instead of ruminating on your bodily sensations.

You guys arrive at the party and you try to have some fun and relax a bit. You cling by Rick, who is having a wonderful time drinking and attempting to show off some of his “dance moves.” Maybe this time you were able to control your anxiety, maybe you can enjoy yourself for once.

“Shitt I need another drink, wanna go hit up the bar again?” Rick slurs out

As you guys are waiting for drinks at the bar things become way to much out of nowhere. Your heart rate picks up faster than before, your lungs feeling like they’re lacking oxygen causing you to hyperventilate trying to catch your breath, you feel so disconnected from your surroundings you don’t even know how you got here.

“Rick I need to get out of here now.” You say tugging on his lab coat

“Shitt this drink is as big as my head oh damnn, you should’ve gotten one this is fucking crazy.” Rick says still leaned over the bar counter not turning to notice your distress.

The world is slipping away. You have no clue what to do, it’s too late to attempt to take some deep breaths and calm down. You can’t even get a normal breath in.

“Rick seriously we need to go.” You say more urgently as tug on his lab coat again.

He finally turns around and sees you on the verge of tears, gasping for air.

“Rick I actually think I’m dying.” You choke out through shaky breaths

“Sweetheart I see people die daily I promise you you’re not dying.” He says with genuine concern. “Follow me.” He says leaving his drink at the counter.

You try following him out of the bar. The world is moving so fast yet so slow. You don’t know where you are, your legs feel like they’re about to give out from your shaking, and you’re leaning on any wall you can find to try to catch your breath.

“Let’s go home.” He finally says once he finds a quiet place to actually be able to hear each other talk.

“No you’re having fun I can’t ruin this for you, just portal me home and I’ll be fine. Go party I’ll be fine at home I promise.” You say, breath still shaking. You at least feel a little less overwhelmed being away from the music.

“This is more important, let’s get you home and we can watch a movie or something to get you to relax. I can party any time I want. And right now I want to make sure you’re okay.” He says with his arm wrapped around you keeping you close as he fumbles around in his coat pockets to get his portal gun.

You guys walk through the portal into his garage. The second you walk in you feel a weight get lifted off your chest. The familiarity of the place puts you at ease.

“Everyone’s asleep we can relax on the couch if you want.”

“That sounds nice.” You say as he softly holds your hand and guides you to the couch.

On the couch you lay on his chest as he softly runs his fingers through your hair.

“I’m sorry I made you have to leave.” You apologize still feeling guilty.

“Baby don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault at all, even though you had this panic attack you were still able to notice your symptoms and that’s a start. I’m so proud of you, and just know if you ever feel anxious please let me know and don’t feel bad about it.”

You’ve never seen him be so soft and genuine before. As he talks to you, you feel your eyes get heavy and due to the adrenaline rush of the panic attack you get tired enough to fall asleep.

You wake up the next morning on the couch with Rick’s arms wrapped around you sleeping peacefully, with his face nuzzled into your hair. You feel much more at ease and calm and feel so lucky to have Rick there to support you during your scariest moments. <3

[settle-down-frohike]

Was rewatching Redux II and thought Bill's POV was really fascinating.

The way he sees things isn't far from the truth. In fact, they're surprisingly clear-eyed (compared to what I'd broadly assumed about him): he laid the blame of the quest at Mulder's feet instead of Scully's; and understood that Scully strove not to disappoint Mulder. However, without all the facts, he then blamed Mulder for Melissa's and Scully's death; and assumed his sister went to work and tried "unconventional treatment" to save face in front of and for Mulder.

He even prodded Mulder's brain in the hallway; because, while he hated the guy's guts, Bill had to know what made him tick-- and if Mulder was at all sorry. So he poked and poked and poked hoping Mulder would give him an answer to soothe his anger.... But instead, Mulder poked back, poorly communicated, then let Bill think whatever he wanted.

And it's part of what you said about Mulder's self-absorption (which is why I'm here, hello!): Mulder is self-absorbed (to an extent); and Bill sensed it (as he sensed Dana doing her best to not let her partner down) and despised it. Moreover, I think he thought Mulder's self-centeredness rubbed off on Scully too much, leaving her to disconnect from her family responsibilities like their parents had raised them to do. And he confronted Dana in Gethsemane; but felt bad, dropped it, and didn't bring it up by her deathbed, preferring to swing at Mulder instead of laying blame and guilt at his dying sister's feet.

Bill's truly a litmus test character: he voices the thoughts of those who don't know or truly understand Mulder and Scully's commitment to the quest despite the toll and the tears. Yet, he has reasonable-ish reasons for believing what he does. An interesting puzzle.

He's also gentler than I remembered. And lethal, in a quiet way. Scully scowls and thunders but Bill only yells when righteously indignant (over Mulder's "science fiction" treatment,) preferring to dress people down with harsh, harsh reproofs in a moderately even tone. (I imagine he takes after their father while Scully takes after their mother.)

And, of course, he has his faults. Big 'uns. Namely, that he tries to protect Scully "without all the facts", which translates to him not trusting her judgment.

Those are my rambly thoughts. Would love to hear yours. :DDD

I think in a way Bill’s character was a voice for a lot of the thoughts the fans maybe did/would/should have had. Especially in Gethsemane, you hear him address Mulder’s absence. He asks verbatim, “Where is he”— which is a very very valid point. You also see that Scully treats Bill in a lot of the same ways that she treats Mulder. She keeps him in the dark, and emotionally at bay. (Another interesting mirror that I noticed in Gethsemane was the acknowledgment that he too remembers her birthday only once every few years—the same as Mulder.) Scully cannot answer as to why Mulder isn’t there, because she is, in part, the reason he isn’t. In Memento Mori she even confesses that she is grateful for it. For his pursuit of his “own path”.

The prodding of Mulder’s brain in the hallway is a *great* point to bring up because there again you see similarities to Mulder, in the way that he too likes to poke, prod and instigate.

What went unnoticed to me for a long time is that like her father and Mulder—Bill is another authoritative male in her life who’s approval she seeks. But she protects herself from their control by use of secrecy. Scully uses avoidant attachment as a way of managing disappointment, and her loved ones see it too, but only when it applies to someone other than themselves. But it does tell me that people see through Scully more than she thinks they do.

A lot of people tend to think that Mulder would have been less self-absorbed had he known more about Scully’s illness and I tend to disagree. Fans seem to regard their relationship during this time with tender eyes and hearts, and the truth of it is is that this crisis brought out some of their more toxic traits. They did *not* handle this well. He very much had the right to know that her cancer had metastasized and she kept that from him purposefully. She withheld information, and as cute as the birthday dinner/snowball jaunt was, his reaction to his panic and grief was to do (as many men do) try to busy themselves by fixing or handling the problem, instead of just caring for an individual as we as viewers and Bill would have rather seen him do. (And I’m well aware that Scully did not make caring for her very easy.)

*I’m going way off on a tangent here because I’ve been watching Gethsemane, Redux one and two a lot lately trying to process my thoughts on it. *

I do think that Bill’s character, however harsh people perceived him to be, was necessary. He exposed a lot of hard truths, outside of his jerkish behavior and accusations based in ignorance. I don’t mean that negatively. I just mean that he literally cannot know what he does not know. You have a loved one who is terminally ill, a natural grieving process at some point is to be angry— and to lash out at what/who seems most culpable. A lot of the accusations thrown Mulder’s way could have been easily dispelled, and yet he chose stand there and take it because he is accustomed to being a whipping boy. That was probably poor writing, but I digress.

What I think Bill, Mulder and maybe her mother, Skinner etc forget is that Scully is on her own journey, -and I quote- “for my OWN reasons” (Momento Mori). Mulder reacts poorly because he blames himself, and Bill reacts poorly because he blames Mulder. There is a lot of evidence that they are two sides to the same coin.

*sorry it took me so long to answer I have SO many thoughts on this timeline, I know this is scattered but maybe it makes a teensy bit of sense. Also I did talk to txt bc fat thumbs. So if you see misspellings 🥴🥴🥴

[thedemonknownasbilly]

Howdy! I've got another poly AziraCrow x reader request for you, if you're interested

Ineffable husbands with a non-binary s/o who constantly gets misgendered and deadnamed during the holiday season since they're around family n stuff?

Ik its not malicious and it's out of habit but man, it's not great for dysphoria. Trying to disconnect myself from that so I don't hold it against anyone but. Idk. Sorry for rambling lol.

Sending love 💚

Their Name - Ineffable Husbands x GN!Reader

Boy, oh, boy this hit close to home. So basing a lot of the house descriptions/holiday traditions on my family.

Ineffable Husbands snapping at Reader’s family

He/Him for Aziraphale || She/He/They for Crowley

Great Room - the spare room usually adjacent to the living room, typically where the foyer enters into.

There was a lot you couldn’t tell your family. How your husbands were actually ethereal beings well over six thousand years old, how Aziraphale found a miracle that would help you to live forever alongside them, or how Crowley was the serpent they so often cursed in Sunday Service. But there was one thing you made crystal-fucking-clear, your name and gender identity. You came out as non-binary almost four years ago, telling your family how you wanted them to refer to you in only neutral terms.

You had met Aziraphale and Crowley a year after that, marrying them in secret two years later, just the past spring. Crowley had told you how they used all pronouns, so your favorite pastime was to call him your wife when using he/him pronouns. Aziraphale told you that he preferred he/him but wasn’t opposed to they/them if it was to put a bigot in place. That if he chose to present as a woman again for the first time in thousands of years then he would update such choices. Just a small family the three of you were.

Meeting them had been perfect for your mental health, you weren’t ready to date anyone, and a rainy day led to you stepping into the red and gold bookshop, with plants scattered about, books older than time itself, an angel and a demon running it. And they took you in without a second thought.

“Darling, you seem lost in thought,” Aziraphale broke you from your thoughts, your bottom lip sore from chewing it in stress. “What is it that troubles you?” You looked at him in the rear view mirror, smiling softly as you felt Crowley’s hand on your thigh.

“Just nervous, and feeling bad. I want to tell them about us, all three of us, and yet I’m too scared…” your family wasn’t the most open to anything outside of heteronormative, including polyamory unfortunately, leaving Aziraphale to be the “best friend/co-worker”, he had actually volunteered the title, saying it would look better for Crowley to be your husband since he appeared closer to your age than the white haired Angel did.

“Don’t fret, I know it’s not ideal, but we can pretend for one night.” Aziraphale reassured, his blue eyes seeming brighter despite the dim light in the Bentley.

“We’re here, love.” Crowley said, parking behind your uncle’s familar white SUV. “You two ready?” You looked over to Crowley and nodded, unbuckling and turning back in your seat to give Aziraphale his final kiss of the night.

Immediately you wanted to slink back into the Bentley when you heard a chorus of your deadname being yelled through the house, directing Aziraphale to the dessert table to place the Eccles cake while you set down the ancient wine bottle with the other drinks.

“This is Anthony,” you introduced your husband to your family, he was dressed in their gray button up with his red tie, black blazer and slacks. “And this is our dearest friend Azira.” Aziraphale was done up in his usual outfit except he traded out the faded waistcoat for a newer one.

“What a pity we couldn’t attend the wedding, but I suppose (s)he’s always done things his/her own way.” Your mom said, feigning innocence as your hand tightened on Crowley’s.

“Ah, yes, I suppose that’s what drew me to them. Their fierce determination.” Crowley glared slightly, a faux grin on her lips as they enunciated your pronouns. That was how the night would continue, both Crowley and Aziraphale determinedly trying to correct your family through their own speech.

“That’s it!” Aziraphale was the first to snap, seeing tears in your eyes as he sat across from you at the dining table, luckily the children were eating in the great room, the tv playing football flickered at his outburst. “I have absolutely had it with you lot misgendering them! They told you four years ago that they preferred gender neutral terms and informed you of their very legal name change, what is so hard to accept?”

When your mom went to speak, Crowley interrupted. “Nope, wrong answer there, see it’s not that hard, maybe in the beginning, to adjust, to try. But you lot never tried, did you? Instead our partner here is almost in tears, they were stressed about even coming, but unlike you all, they value you. And yes, I said our partner. Azira is not just a friend, in fact he’s as much their husband as I am.” Crowley rose from her chair and offered you their hand, which you gratefully took, letting him guide you out of the house with Aziraphale following behind you.

“I’m sorry, that was improper and I know that-” Aziraphale stammered out, feeling like he messed up but being cut off when you suddenly hugged him, laughing softly against his shoulder.

“Don’t you dare apologize, did you see their faces? That was so worth it, I have you two, and we’re a big enough family for me.” Aziraphale hugged you back tightly and kissed the side of your head, you felt Crowley press against your back, joining your hug and kissing Aziraphale.

“Happy Christmas, loves.”

“Happy Christmas, dear.”

“Happy Christmas, little devil.”

[sneppu]

uhhh idk lily thoughts (I'm about to spew critical rambling bullshit, big sorry. these things are my badly worded opinions and nothing else.)

thinkin bout how my feelings for Lily are so complicated tbh.. in canon, I cannot like her. I just can't. The disconnect between what the narrative tries to tell us about her and the reality of who she is and what she does are just too jarring to me. for all that she's meant to be a paragon of virtue and goodness, her actions and choices come across wrong and off and bad in a way that is visceral to me, as someone who has been bullied and sexually assaulted myself. And to clarify, I'm not talking about her breaking off her friendship with Severus; she had every right to do that, and I dont think I've seen a single Snape fan actually seriously state otherwise - but because she *knowingly and deliberately chose to get with an abusive bully.* That she and Snape were no longer friends is irrelevant to me. I understand not everyone feels this way, and that's fine. But It's important to me, and so it carries weight to me. The implications are just too offputting to me, and yes, I am biased. Snape is my favorite little guy, after all. I dont pretend otherwise. To each their own, and she, as written in canon, is certainly not for me, historical context and location be damned.

So i can't like her in canon. If anything, I cant help but feel acute resentment for her character, because it feels almost like betrayal to be told "here is a perfect and good person" and then get.. that. Ironically, I would like her a whole lot more if the narrative didnt try insist on her goodness and instead was just like "actually, ngl she was kinda shitty sometimes. questionable as hell. she was a bit of a gremlin and a little bit fucked up" because then it would feel honest. she would no longer feel like a hypocrite to me, and then those moments of kindness would carry more weight, would feel more meaningful. Her actions would be more believable, would feel more nuanced and I would maybe even love her.

...and that, ultimately is what my problem with her is. she has all the potential to be such an interesting character, but she instead falls short of being a full character at all. it's not her fault; this is a jkr skill issue (and her portrayal of female characters in general leaves A Lot to be desired.), so in the end i'm not too pressed.

its exactly why i like Lily so much more in the context of fanworks. Canon lily? offputting. An incomplete character. but fanfic lily? such potential! she could *actually* be the good person she was meant to be and make different choices or at very least have reasoning that makes more sense! or she could go a new direction entirely and be an absolute gremlin menace alongside Snape and in the process, add more interest and nuance that way! all of these things are enjoyable, and for this reason i cannot say I truly hate her - because I do love her so so much when people make her their own and make her make sense, to do her justice and preserve what - i think - would have been that spark that brought Severus and Lily together in the firstplace - whether it be genuine kindness, or a friendship based on being able to relate to one another at a deeper level, on having that shared weirdness together, or even both things! (that's not to say I love every portrayal; and sometimes there are pet peeves, but they do not ruin the character for me in that scenario, for the simple reason that in these fics she *IS* ultimately a full character, which is more than what can be said about canon lily.) ... and that's the joy of fanfics and fanart and creation, isnt it? that you can make your own ideas come to life, put things together in a way that makes sense to you, and see how others would make a these stories and characters come to life. its why I can despise the marauders in their canon, and yet ship everyone of them with Severus given the right scenario. it's why I can dislike snily in the context of canon, and see their relationship as purely platonic under that lens, and yet wholeheartedly ship them otherwise in the context of fanfics and fanworks. It's why when I say i ship Severus Snape with literally everyone I can truly and genuinely mean it. Because I do. I think theres always room for a scenario, for a characterization, or AU, to allow for it. Fiction is a lovely and magical thing, and it ultimately exists for enjoyment, for entertainment and creativity.

anyway, idk if i worded this wrongly or weirdly but tldr: I dislike and am put off by canon lily, but I love what lily can be, what she could be, what she SHOULD be, I love what fans are able to do with her, I love what I wish she was.

[stoned-frog]

okay so i've been thinking about why lucid would try to regrow/become the tree, and my thought is- he never rly met nim? in his head, nim is momma. he would have never have existed during any point where nim is seen as bad i suppose. idek if i want nim to be bad in my version, but even if she is, lucid wouldn't know. so he tries to regrow the tree to get his momma back. in the case of him becoming the tree, maybe it's with the logic of if he can both bring back the tree and his mom, becoming it will let him be with his mom. lil guy is 100% a momma's boy tho on another note, lucid was the first to rly accept corrupted nm and passive nm aren't the same person, and that the nm he knew is pretty much gone (i do love spirit passive tho, where passive's soul follows nm around). mostly bc he was there- he saw passive die and become something else. he held his brother when it happened, and it kinda just led to a disconnect of the two. he's also able to care about corrupted nm separately, as a new person. i feel like nm would appreciate that, having someone who knew both, but doesn't try to see him as the other (last idea i swear, i'm so sorry for rambling about this guy so much, pls tell me to stop if it's annoying 🙏) in one of the variants where dream and nm have a truce and it's kinda silly ending with nm going into like- community labor, i feel like lucid would get the biggest kick out of it. this mans worked in customer service since it became a thing, seeing nm go through something similar is funny to the bastard

i can't think of which variant lucid would actual belong to, so i just think of him in all of them

Oh you're not annoying don't worry! I always appreciate everything dropped in my inbox

And omg Lucid bullying Nightmare for working in like a fucking Mcdonald's equivalent pff

Now I wanna draw Nightmare flipping burgers that's such a funny image

I personally don't like this part of the canon that passive and corrupted aren't the same Nightmare but ow that must hurt, Dream still believes Passive is there and that gives him motivation but Lucid was ready to accept his brother is just gone

And Nim isn't really bad, she was never presented as a bad person but as a mother she kinda just- left the new guardians alone- but she didn't really have a choice. I can see why Lucid would want to meet his mom technically for the first time. Maybe he still believed that after the tree died their mother is still there and he can reach her by reviving the tree? But even if the tree is back, the magic in it is long gone and so is Nim. Or if we want to go the route of Lucid becoming a tree maybe he made some kind of deal to switch him with Nim?

[vindieselsfacebook-blog]

okay after seeing your poll on the unpopular GG opinions I need to hear your thoughts on lane!!! please please elaborate because on first seeing your take I don't agree but I've also never thought about it so I would love to hear your opinion if you feel like it! :))

Ahhh first of all, omg thank you for caring to hear any of my rambling. :') Second of all, pheewwww boy do I have some unpopular Lane opinions lol.

My disclaimer at the top is that I like Lane! She gets so much interesting, flawed characterization that a lot of sidekicks in fiction don't. I can sound like a hater but I think there's this fascinating effect where fans either relate so closely with Lane, they project a lot onto her - to the point of pretending her flaws and mistakes just don't exist - or they flatly reduce her to her endearing strengths and root for her so much as an underdog, they don't engage with any deeper critique and honestly kind of infantilize her and don't hold her accountable for her choices.

Lane is so relatable because her experience speaks to folks growing up in similarly religious, oppressive, and/or culturally specific family units that maybe feel more authoritarian. This is where I must acknowledge that I'm an only child in a white (eastern European mostly) household where I never really clicked with my parents in most ways and was always kind of at peace with that fact. I've always struggled with fully understanding and empathizing with people (both irl and in fiction) who clearly feel so unhappy and/or oppressed by situations, but lack the courage to really do anything about it when it would be fully possible for them.

Lane's mom is cartoonishly restrictive of her and often downright cruel, but at the end of the day, Lane still cares too much what her mother thinks. She still wants to make her happy and internalizes those teachings instead of really pushing beyond them and rebelling like she acts like she wants to. She folds in on herself with a victim mentality constantly that frustrates me. As a kid, I totally get it, but once adulthood looms and she goes along with her mom's college choices for her, tries to make every friend and romantic interest delight in ridiculous charades to keep peace, and doesn't want to have sex before marriage, I get less sympathetic. Grow up, girl! Maybe it's because Lorelai's story is the 180 degree opposite of Lane's. I have so much love and admiration for Lorelai's bold choices, perhaps that's the root of my disconnect with Lane. Again - I totally get that this is shaped by my personal cultural upbringing.

Besides finding it hard to respect this desire to still be mommy's little girl when I don't think her mother has earned that OR that it's a personally satisfying pursuit for Lane, I find her boy-crazy obsessions dull and shallow. In she and Rory's brief S1 conflict where Lane feels ignored by Rory, I kind of can't help but take Rory's side because girl, I'm sorry, I'd be bored as shit hearing you ramble on and on about some dumb dude you don't even know because his hair is cute.

Although I resent the term so much these days, Lane fits the stereotype of "I'm not like other girls" MUCH more than either Rory or Lorelai in my opinion. She's always talking about dumb girls she doesn't like, girls in bands being her competition, etc. I get that's an easy coping mechanism for a girl like her who only has her taste as something she can feel superior to others about because her life is otherwise small, but still. The main characters get that critique but she's always exempt.

So many fans paint with a broad brush claiming Lane's a better friend to Rory than Rory is to her when I feel it's the reverse - Lane requires A LOT of emotional labor. I've heard folks claim she's just as smart - why couldn't she get into an Ivy, too? Well, to start, Lane wouldn't even go if she had the chance because she's too scared to be truly ambitious, she's not the main character of the show, and honestly, why do people think she's so smart? She's no dummy, but she's never portrayed as being especially good at school or interested in academics. That's where I see the projection creep in. People who relate to Lane are angry on behalf of her perceived wasted potential because they feel it about themselves or others they love.

Then of course, we all get mad about her quick marriage and pregnancy, but those are both fully Lane's choices. She's allegedly disagreed with her mom her entire life, but again chooses victimhood in refusing to have sex until marriage and still valuing the oppressive heteronormative life she's always been obsessed with. She was already making progress choosing her independent starving artist life at that point so she can't blame that choice on mommy. You're an adult - learn about contraception if you don't want to get pregnant! Or get an abortion! But no - Lane is a career self-saboteur. Like pushing Henry Cho away, Lane is addicted to struggling and hiding and keeps creating these circumstances for herself long after her childhood under her mom's thumb. She even needed her mom to plan a tour for her and her band.

AND ANOTHER THING (lol sorry, full drunk-uncle-ing now) but I don't think Dave Rygalski's willingness to lie, hide, and change himself for a girl's attention is healthy and gets waayyy too romanticized. Lane would be a nightmare girlfriend.

When fans share dreams of Lane moving to a bigger city, starting an all-girl band, or being successful in the music industry, I can't help but think those aspirations are far more out-of-character than people seem to think. She's just not that girl - and that's ok! Not everyone is. She ends up seemingly happy with her community and family and walks that line having a good relationship with her mom. We maybe hoped for more, but unfortunately she didn't. And just as with so many other things in Gilmore Girls, that rings so bittersweetly true to real life.

[mueritos]

Hi Matteo,

I just wanted to say that I really appreciated the most recent comic you posted. It feels like it came at the perfect time for me lol. I’m in a bit of a transitional stage right now(in many ways) and I’ve basically gotten used to feeling like I’m disconnected and free floating. I know it won’t always be like that but it’s been rough. I have a friend who’s also a trans guy, though he transitioned several years before me and is now stealth, and though I cherish his friendship and appreciate his support, I sometimes find it hard to relate to his experience as a white guy with supportive parents. To some extent, my queerness has always felt very separate to my identity as a child of Mexican immigrants. I recently got the chance to visit family in Mexico and despite loving the experience, I was just so uncomfortable the entire time having to present as a girl. I’ve been trying to build up the courage to tell my parents that I’m starting T and it’s made me feel sort of alone because it’s a choice that I’ll have to defend myself. Idk, this comic just reminded me that there are other people who have gotten through these situations just fine and it was cool to see. I’m sorry for the long ramblings, I had a point initially but I kind of lost track of it. I mainly just wanted to thank you for what you do, it’s really nice to know that there are people out there like you.

hey friend! its not easy being us, but im proud of you for hanging in there. I personally haven't been to Mexico since I was 9 because I fear having to present as a girl, though I feel that no one down there would ever remember who I am enough to know I was born as one. I feel you on having white trans friends. I have one who I am very close to, but its hard to relate. His parents are so accepting in ways that mine aren't, and my parents do love and accept me! But that sort of acceptance in a Mexican family isn't mainstream. I had to accept that I was disappointing and hurting my parents GREATLY by choosing myself, all while knowing they still loved me.

It's weird. Even when your parents/family do come around, it's not 100%, but it's not like they dislike you. If anything, I have such a great relationship with my mom rn. We talk for hours about things I never would have thought we could ever talk about. My dad calls me as Matt often, but he still calls me by my old nickname when he's giving me kisses on the forehead.

Choosing yourself is not something we're supposed to be doing as children of immigrants. Every choice we make has to be for the betterment of the family. You might be the only one in your corner for a while, but the fight is worth it. Build community outside of your family where your presence isn't questioned. You're going to need it. Plan for the worst, and plan for the best.

Trans latines are out there. We are here! Many of us are thriving despite the horrors haha. Hang in there friend :]

[readerssmut]

"𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐦." ~ Boss Milo Manheim x reader Pt.2

Song Inspired- Boyfriend (By Dove Cameron)

Tags/Warnings-18+ only, Minors DNI, consensual, romance, dominant (Milo), cheating, smut, fluff, light bondage, rough sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, oral (m & f receiving). Reader is an Office Siren. Grammar police can respectfully f off (:

Summary- Y/N has a shitty boyfriend and one night at an office party drunkenly confides in her hot boss. Pt 3 here

Before he could speak, she said stuttering "I'm sorry I'm like this I've been stressed lately. My boyfriend he-he cheated on me not too long ago. I thought I could move past it and forget but its only made me resent him. He told me would do better, try harder but there's been no change. I feel like we are going in circles, and I feel trapped. I have no way of dealing with it, no one to talk to about it. Now I'm rambling like an idiot to my bos...." He cut her off "Y/n I'm sorry this is happening you deserve better. I could treat you better. I could be a better boyfriend than him." This hit y/n like a brick of course she had imagined this scenario hundreds of times all in different ways, but it still shocked her. If she didn't feel sober before she sure did now. It felt like those words soaked up all the booze in her. "Mr.M.." she began, he once again stopped her "call me Milo." "Milo-" she stuttered "Isn't there rules against us being together?" He moved closer her to her until he was standing over her. "Y/n I don't care about rules, and I've seen the way you look at me. The way you bite your lip or clench your thighs when we are alone in a room. I don't think you care about rules." She thought for only a moment before grabbing his tie and pulling him down to her level. Pausing for only a moment he took this opportunity to kiss her passionately. Her fingers interlocking with his loose curls. Their tongues danced together, making strings of saliva disconnect and reconnect. She tasted the bourbon on his tongue making her want more. He stopped and stood up, looking down at her he said "y/n I've seen the books you read, and I know that boyfriend of yours doesn't satisfy you. So, you're going to do as I say and I'm going to make sure you come over and over again. Understand?" Y/n looked up at Milo with lust in her eyes, all those wet dreams of him flooded her mind. He spoke to her in the most perfect way. He hadn't even touched her, but she was practically dripping at his words. All he had to was give her a look and she knew exactly what to do but she waited for his command. He told her to remove his belt and pants slowly. Y/n did as she was told sinking to her knees beneath him. The bulge teased her she could see the outline through his boxers. Frustration built up inside her, all she could think about was having him rail her from behind. He pulled down his boxers and his dick sprung out, she immediately grabbed it, devouring it. She was a drooling mess, but she didn't care. He smelled clean and tasted fresh, unlike her boyfriend. She slobbered all up and down his shaft. He groaned and pushed her head down gently stopping every few bobs so she could breathe. Her hands worked at his dick and her mouth so warm and wet took him so well. He grunted breathy "you're so good, fuck, fuck." She could feel his dick start to twitch in her mouth but there was nothing more in this moment she wanted than to swallow his load. He came hard with a loud groan pulling her hair back gently but just enough to be able to see her pretty face and mouth being covered in his cum. He couldn't pretend he hadn't imagined this tons of times. He wanted so desperately to make her feel good. Not even getting a chance to catch her breath y/n was picked up and put onto his desk her feet hanging off. He tore her skirt and panties off. He kissed up and down her thighs leaving small purple marks. That was him claiming her and she loved every second of it. He started slow licking up and down her folds. The sensation sending chills up through her spine. His face was covered in juices in no time. He sucked on her clit alternating with his tongue doing circular motions. He inserted two fingers in her building the tension in her body. She was moaning like crazy almost forgetting where they were. She quickly covered her mouth muffling her sounds. He smiled against her pussy knowing she was close to finishing. Her thighs suffocated him, but he was determined to make her feel incredible. "Mhm darling you taste so sweet."

[welcome-back-to-hoimycraf]

Xisuma stretched out a hand, watching the snowflakes land on the chill metal of their suit. Xe always loved winter, a call back to home in the frigid End islands. Xe definitely did miss it sometimes, and xe visited often, but there was just something so special about sharing your culture with someone else. 

“You coming?” Keralis asked, a few feet ahead from where X had paused. His head tilted with his question, the easy smile that constantly adorned his face growing ever wider. 

“Yup, just checking out the scenery,” they explained, shaking the snowflakes from their palms. The park was covered in a thick layer of snow, more than they got on Hermitcraft, that’s for sure. Ahead of them, wooden stalls adorned with lights and festive colors scattered the landscape. 

Keralis had decided to take Xisuma to Sweden for the holiday markets, going on and on about the beauty and joy they brought. Honestly, X couldn’t find falsehood in anything he’d said. The market was gorgeous. The warm tones against the pure white snow, the crowds of people weaving through the buildings, or the smell of fresh baked goods created such an air of festivity and community that Xisuma found it hard to be worried about a thing. Of course, good company helped, as well. 

Xir hand had been taken hostage by Keralis’ while xi’d been lost in thought. The man still somehow had more to say about the culture and traditions surrounding the Swedish holidays, and Xisuma couldn’t help but admire him as he spoke. Should they be listening? Yeah, probably, but the way he got so animated, his eyes crinkling around the edges when he laughed, hands gesturing wildly, mouth going a million miles an hour- it was all way too endearing to be ignored. 

“-shwam? Are you even listening to me?” Keralis chuckled, not a hint of hurt in his tone. 

“I- er- no…” Xisuma admitted, slapping a hand to xir face out of embarrassment. “Sorry about that, I-”

“Just can’t get enough of my handsome face, huh?” Xer friend grinned with a wink. “I get it, I get it! I’m just too beautiful to go unappreciated- OW!”

Xisuma pulled their hand back from their punch to Keralis’ shoulder. “Ah- shut up, you cheeky bastard,” they groaned, rolling their eyes, though they were unable to hold back their fondness from their words. 

Keralis squawked indignantly, spluttering and declaring Xisuma a bad friend as they approached their first market stall. “Oh, would you like some glögg, Shashwam?” He asked, making X laugh at the sudden change in tone. 

“That’s the mulled wine, right?” 

“Yes!” Keralis clapped his hands together, happy for his friend to have retained that bit of information. “You’ll love it, I swear. It’s perfection!” 

They placed their order, and soon Xisuma was being handed its drink, along with a gingerbread cookie Keralis had insisted they pair with the wine. X had Keralis hold its items so it could fiddle with the bottom half of its helmet, disconnecting the mouthpiece so it could eat. And, with the first sip of its glögg, Xisuma had to admit that Keralis was right. It wasn’t perfection, but it did come pretty damn close. 

The two chatted about nothing in particular, strolling around the quaint market and taking in the sights. One stall was selling hand-knit sweaters, another wreaths and ornaments. Lights were strung along every roof, illuminating the area in a soft glow. 

Xisuma was mid bite of their cookie, listening to Keralis ramble about the upcoming Saint Lucia Day, when something hit them square in the face. The thinner metal connecting xir mouthpiece to the rest of xir helmet completely snapped with the force. The armour, which had been resting around xer neck while xe ate, flew across the snowy park- breathing mask and all. 

“Hey! Watch where you’re throwing stuff!” Keralis was shouting at the group of kids huddled together a few feet away, giggling at their success. 

X crouched down where xir mask had landed, turning it around to assess the damage. The side that had taken the impact was dented, which could be buffed out. Judging by the well-sized rock nearby, xi guessed one of the kids had thrown a snowball at xim, a dangerous one at that. The worrisome part, though, was the breathing mask. The tubes connecting it to the less oxygen-rich air tank inside xir suit had completely cracked off. A few broken pieces of the tubes’ material were scattered across the snow, making their heart sink.

“Everything okay, sweetface?” Keralis’ soothing voice asked from where he’d leaned over xir shoulder. “Is it usable?”

“I- no…” Xisuma muttered, already feeling the effects. The air of the overworld was much, much too thick for them to breathe properly. It felt like trying to suck in a breath through a wet towel, and xi could already feel xir lungs burn. 

Keralis’ face contorted into a frown, his brow furrowing. His eyes lost their glimmer, replaced with something much darker, much more sinister. It was weird to see him anything other than bursting with joy, and it twisted Xisuma’s gut. Then, like it had never changed, his calm smile was back. “Here, let me deal with it,” he assured xem.

The man turned and walked back to the presumed perpetrator standing at the front of the group of kids. Xisuma could only watch as xi stood shakily, taking in the way reality itself seemed to distort around Keralis’ figure. It crackled and wobbled, like trying to look over a bonfire, popping and fizzing out. With an awful cracking, his frame grew, limbs only long enough to make you question whether or not he was human. 

Xisuma sighed, walking over to grab Keralis by the shoulder before he could do any real damage. The man swiveled his neck far too fast, snapping the bone inside and leaving his head on backwards. 

“Sashwam! What’s wrong, my sweet?” He asked, smile stretched much too wide for his face. His eyes, though always unblinking, lacked their usual warmth. His pupils had been reduced to near pinpricks, with a palpable malice emanating from their gleam. 

“You can’t hurt kids, even if they are assholes.” Xe rolled xer eyes, grabbing Keralis by the other shoulder to swivel him in the opposite direction. “We’re going back home before I pass out,” xe wheezed, xer head swimming. 

Keralis grabbed each side of his head, cracking it back into place so he could follow X’s unsteady stride. “You okay? Need me to carry you?” He questioned, and when Xisuma glanced at him, he’d already returned to normal. His lips had puckered into a pout, making X chuckle, which turned into a coughing fit. 

“I’m fine- can we get to the server hub? Quickly?”

Keralis nodded, picking up their pace and intertwining Xisuma’s hand with his own. “Sorry our trip was so short, would you like to have some hot cocoa when we get back?”

How could Xisuma say no to those puppy eyes? 

“Sounds lovely.”

@qpr-kersuma-week

[artemis1214]

Stay | Alastor x OC one shot

Prompt: A "one shot" that takes place shortly after book 2 ('A Siren's Hunt)...

| Fluff | Minor Angst |

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hotel is quiet tonight, with many of the patrons having gone to their respective rooms. Alastor sits by the fire in the parlor while reading a book and sipping on a glass of rye. Behind him, Esme sits at the piano that Charlie presented her with during the remodeling. Her small fingers dance along the ivory, creating a string of notes that blend perfectly with one another. As she relaxes, she begins to sing the notes softly under her breath, her voice soon carrying and filling up the space with a hypnotic call. The walls begin to glow a faint green and a blueish hue overtakes the floorboards. Alastor's ears perk up at her melody, smirking to himself as he feels them instantly falling back to his head from the effect, “Now, dear, you oughta be careful with your voice.” He says loud enough for her to hear him. Esme looks at him, seemingly lost in thought, when her eyes widen and she stops her voice from growing further, “Aha, sorry about that - force of habit.” She says, gently ending her last cord on the keys. “I just want this to be perfect for Her Highness…” She whispers. 

Alastor chuckles and holds up his hand in the air, using his finger to motion her to come to him without turning to face her. Esme smiles and follows his order, standing and walking to him, sitting next to him by the fire. “Sooo, what did you do today while I was gone?” She asks, sliding closer to him. Alastor chuckles, looking at her momentarily and swiping his finger along her chin, “Not much, darling.” He smiles, “Just the usual, broadcasting and dealing with simpletons.” He turns back to his book, “But it is nice to have you back from your travels.” 

Esme giggles, "You're too harsh on the sinners here, you know?" She smiles, nudging his shoulder softly. “And yes, the water was lovely. I was almost tempted to swim to a whole other ring.” She jokes. She spent this particular day down by the shore, swimming peacefully and exploring the reefs. There was so much chaos happening in the hotel nowadays, that sometimes she needed some time to disconnect and be in her element, not knowing that a certain black entity would follow her every time to ensure her safety. 

Like she needed it…

He chuckled again, rolling his eyes, "Oh, come now, love. They're all a bunch of fools. Why should I be polite to them when they can't even appreciate the art of a simple conversation?" He leaned back against the couch, resting the back of his head on the cushion, placing his book down on his lap. 

"Oh they can, you just don't like their topics of discussion." 

"Well, can you blame me? I've spent decades surrounded by idiots. I think I've earned the right to dislike their inane ramblings."

"Mmm." She hums, "Oh!" She perks up, her fins sprouting from her head, "I almost forgot." She stands up from the couch, seeming extremely excited. She rushes over to the piano bench, digging in her jacket pocket. Alastor turns to watch her, his head and ears turning to the side in curiosity, “Forgot what?” She pulls her hand out with a small seashell in her hands, “This!” She cheers happily, trotting over and showing him the small treasure, “I found it during my swim today!” She beams, leaning over the back of the couch to show him, “Isn’t it pretty?”

“It’s quite lovely.” He smiles fondly, looking down at her hands. He picks up the small shell, running his fingers over the smooth surface, a pang of nostalgia hitting him briefly, “You know, my dear…” He says, “It’s quite the coincidence that you picked this up during your expedition.” Esme’s fins droop in response, “Hm, how come?” She questions, “I’m a siren, I find countless marvelous finds in the ocean.” She motions to her bag full of sea rocks. 

He shakes his head with a small chuckle, “Well, my sweet little fish, I can’t help but notice that this shell looks oddly familiar..” He hands it back to her, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he returns to his book, clearly enjoying this little game. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense…talk!” She pouts, holding the shell close to her chest and walking around the couch to stand in front of him. 

His smile widens at her behavior and he leans in closer, his eyes locking with hers, “This shell is a cat's eyes, a common find in the southern beaches I walked many years ago.” He pauses for a moment, studying how her face slowly turns from confusion to recognition, bringing a sense of endearment to his nonexistent heart. 

Esme’s eyes light up as soon as she puts the pieces together, “Oh, yes, I remember. From the nature trail, not that far away from our home…” She taps the shell with her claws gently, hearing the soft click it makes, “I used to see these all the time by the docks, they would wash up constantly.” She looks into the small gem, her eyes trailing over the swirls of green and blue on the smooth top, almost as if she wants to dive into it and swim back home. She smiles sadly, her voice in a small whisper, “That was a long time ago…” 

Alastor nods a hint of nostalgia in his voice, “Indeed, it was. It’s hard to believe it’s been so long since then…” 

“Nearly 90 years…” 

He reached over and took her hand in his, his thumb gently stroking the back of it, “But I still remember every detail as if it was yesterday…” She pauses, her eyes meeting his gaze with a light shine to them, “Me too…” She says softly, taking his hand and sitting down next to him to lay her head on his shoulder, “Don’t you wish we could go back?” 

“More than anything, mon ange...” 

He pauses for a moment, lost in the memories of their past lives together. He was quiet for a, lost in his thoughts as he questioned…

I still wonder what could have been if things hadn’t gone so terribly wrong…

Unaware of his mental torment, Esme takes in a long inhale and sighs, causing him to break out of his trance. His eyes move to her, noting the sadness in her eyes, bringing a strange sensation within him. He normally relished in seeing other’s misfortune, but the look on her face brought him great discomfort, “Darling?” He says softly, running his fingers through her hair, “What are you thinking about?” 

“What was your favorite part?” She says, looking up at him, “Of all of it?” 

His eyes widen at her question, narrowing as they look away in thought, “Ah, you know me, I’m a simple man.” He takes a moment, “I guess I’ll sound cliché in saying that it would be the first time I saw you.” 

Esme scoffs, “At the market?” She laughs at his ridiculous answer, “Why, that was such a minor moment, no more than a hello and a goodbye.” She smirks. 

“Oh, my dear, but it was so much more.” He says, looking at the wall and tapping his foot, “It was strange, I was just very…interested…in the way you walked, the way you conducted yourself. It was strange but I should have known that something was brewing.” 

“You were watching me picking my cut of meat and had the gull to insinuate that I should hunt it myself.” She shakes her head with a smile, “I thought you were so strange.” 

He laughs, remembering how his attempts to charm her in that moment failed spectacularly, “You were being difficult, you know. I must say, I was hoping you did hunt the meat yourself…” 

“I’ll hunt you if you’re not careful!” She jokes, holding a finger to his face, causing him to roll his eyes with a scoff, “But really….that would be it? Not our first official meeting?” 

“Oh that was pretty memorable too, but as I said, I’m a simple man. Although, having my first conversation with you was very interesting. Again, I didn’t know how to describe it, I just knew you were captivating.” Alastor’s smile widens as he looks down at her, inching closer playfully, “And you sang so beautifully~” 

“You were so confident that evening, made me take notice of you.” 

He leans back and throws his hand up in the air with an obnoxious ego boost, “Well, I’m always confident in how I present myself, so that’s no surprise~” He laughs, taking a moment before he looks back at her once again, raising her chin with his finger, “And how could I possibly consider passing up the chance to dance with the prettiest girl in New Orleans?” 

She chuckles, “Considering the fact that I’m not originally from the south, I take it there were slim pickings before me…” 

He groans sarcastically, shaking his head as he playfully rolls his eyes with his smile now resembling a fondness to it, “Oh, you are always such a smart aleck…” He teased, “No, there were plenty of beautiful women in Ne-” 

“Watch it, Al…” 

“BUT~” He cheerfully rings in a sing-songy voice, “None of them could have ever held a candle to you…” He leans in, bringing her closer to his face, “You, my darling, were in a league of your own.” 

“Hmmmm~” Esme smirked, narrowing her eyes and quickly shrugging her shoulders, “You were alright, I guess~” I pushed him back, meeting his playful nature with her own. 

Alastor scoffs in faux offense, dusting his jacket off with his gloved hands, “Just ‘alright’? Is that all I get after pouring my heart out to you?” He shakes his head with a closed smirk, “I’ll have you know, I’m much more than ‘alright’ Missy…” 

She twists her face in a mischievous manner, as if she’s studying his face for the first time, “Ehhhhhh~” She mocks. 

“Oh, you cheeky little minx.” He pinches her side lightly, just enough to cause her to jump, “Is that any way to talk to your husband?” 

Esme giggles and swats at his hand, “Stop that!” Her eyes glow and she snaps her fangs at him in an attempt to get him to back off. 

“Mmmm, no, I don’t think I will.” Alastor grins, swooping her small frame into the air effortlessly and pinching her once more. She laughs and swats at his chest before she relaxes and is now sitting on his lap, facing him. She hums and puts her hands on his shoulders, relaxing into his body. There’s a long drawn-out silence as the two stare at one another. 

“Must you go?” He asks, breaking the silence with a question so intense it could’ve brought the whole hotel to its knees. 

Esme’s face drops, “Alastor…we’ve discussed this..”  

“I know, I know.” He says lowly, his shadow appearing beside the two, looking up from the floor with an anguished expression, “Just…she’s fine.” He continues, “She’s doing just terrific up there. She has our mothers, your sister, she’s been fine for years darl-” He stops, noticing her looking to the side with a pained look, “I..” 

“I have to try…” She whispers, 

“I’m not good at this sort of thing, you know that.” He says quickly, redirecting her face to his with his finger, “But if you choose this, I may never see you again. Ever.” He emphasizes the last word, hoping to get her to reason with him. 

She sighs, tears forming in her eyes, “I know…but…She needs me, she deserves me…” 

He disagrees with her, with all of his soul, but there’s no use talking to her about it nonstop. 

“I won’t stop you from whatever choice you choose to make…” He strokes her hair, “I’ve always admired your independence…” He brings her closer to him, their faces now inches apart, “I won’t make you stay…” He says just below a whisper, 

“But I sure hope you consider it…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🖤Words: 2040🖤

Psssssst this may or may not have been a sneak peak of my third book....👀

~ Artemis 💗🦌

[puckpocketed]

as promised here is my follow up ask on PLD and the caps!! (this time...as a doctor 😎)

first of all thank you so much for the detailed response you gave my first ask. it confirmed a lot of suspicions i had about his supposed character issues and his usage in LA. obviously he's not a perfect player (few are) (except nicklas backstrom, my beloved), but seems like there's a disconnect between the way the media/fan narrative paints him and what's actually happening on the ice and in the locker room.

second of all!! just some kinda ramble-y thoughts based on some of the things you said in the first ask. this is not organized well and i'm sorry (but hopefully it's helpful info to you as you come over to caps land for a bit this season)

(1) Takings Shifts Off. totally agree with you that pld is and always will be viewed through the lens of The Shift. there are definitely players that regularly take shifts off and don't get dogpiled for it, esp. during the regular season (...see Ovechkin, Alex...especially in his old man era! gotta conserve energy). i am very curious to see if pld is like ovi in that he takes shifts off sometimes during the regular season but never the playoffs. from the little we've seen of pld in the playoffs my impression (esp when he played for CBJ) is that he elevates his game. i'm curious to see if he's really got that second gear...but caps gotta make the playoffs first.

(2) A Driver of One's Own. very interesting that in the answer to the last ask you said pld is not exactly the kind of player who drives his own line. this caught my eye bc it's a bit part of the problem w/ finding a center for ovi with backy gone...nowadays, O can't fully drive his own line anymore. he's just not fast enough, regularly (though he can turn it on in key moments). the legs just aren't there as much anymore, he can't really carry the puck in the way he used to, etc. BUT!!! he still has the best shot in the game (sorry auston), so absolutely ELITE triggerman. i'm wondering if pld could like...meet him halfway, i guess. like if TOGETHER they could drive the line. Hmmmm...

(3) Power Play!! everything you said about pld on the PP is promising. if he thrives most net front, then i genuinely think that position is there for the taking. i'm sure they'll try him in the old backstrom/kuznetsov QB spot on the right halfwall but there is a 0% chance our coach doesn't try a few things with the PP, including putting pld in different spots. i wouldn't be surprised if we started off having a weak PP that found its groove as the season went on.

(4) HCSC. our head coach is going to do literally everything in his power to make pld succeed. very communicative coach. last season he started out with an up-tempo system, and then switched to slower defense-first once he realized his personnel was just too slow/old to really pull all that off. with 1/3 of our roster now turned over and filled with players in their 20s, we're gonna see a VERY different capitals team from last year. i'm sure there will be growing pains but...they mystery is exciting, instead of terrifying, for once!!!

third of all!! just wanted to say thanks again for the detailed response to the third ask, and welcome to caps-land. it's a fun time over here. hope you're really looking forward to seeing what the hell our chaotic gremlins are going to do (as long as it makes penguins fans rage and cry, i am happy!!)!!! :)

okay this reply is getting crowded so ill just stick it all under the cut. here is a fun preview:

the media+fan narrative disconnect is SO real!!! i knowww with the amount of players the league has to cover, the sheer length of a regular season and all that happens during, plus the whole....society-wide erosion of journalism as a field... it can be hard for media to keep up, but it's been pretty startling to see their fallibility so... plainly? don't think i have the One Final Truth about Dubois but i think we're likely closer to it than anything the mainstream narratives are saying. i do get that their profits and clicks per/ are greatly increased via if they have a bent toward sensationalism... podcasters, youtube creators, people tweeting... they kinda have to operate like this because thats what the (gags) market and algorithm and audiences crave. does NOT mean i like it. ugh.

bleak reflections on journalism aside, im sitting here and gorging myself on this ask ouhhh thank uuu (for those playing along at home here are manifesto 1 and manifesto 2) and nodding along SO vigorously to all of these... we're having GALAXY brained discussions on here the likes of which spittin chiclets could never even dream of....................

(1) agreed agreed. he MUST be horse-bonded to his team i truly believe this with my whole heart (as in, he's gotta know his role + be comfy). otherwise, no other comment. I DID make that meme though because i was having a laff about Ovechkin conserving energy lkajsdkljajkl

(2) SUPER inchresting that you mention Ovi's lack of footspeed... i know a failhorse who can provide this 👀 we may be cooking something here... more than the sum of their parts kind of vibe?? Dubois has the youth and speed and muscle... he's just been hamstrung by quality of wingers.... and if as you say Ovi needs a hand carrying the puck; well.... 👀👀👀 don't want to put all my eggs in that basket though, I think it would be unfair of us to demand that of him... BUT if it works... oughhhhh i AM hopeful. SO hopeful.

(3) obsessed with this faith in your power play coaches (<- voice of a guy who watched ducks hockey) and their willingness to change things up is soooo nice to hear. NOT a fan of teams bashing their heads against a wall when their special teams clearly aren't working.

(4) and finally, I'm loving everything I hear about Spencer Carbery. i think Dubois has the allure of an wounded animal in the wild (a horse, even) or perhaps a moody teen girl with a hidden darkness in her heart <3 what im saying is, if he doesn't work it out now he's probably always gonna be one of those players every coach looks at and thinks "I could fix him". Carbs on record saying he could tame this wild creature??

link, archive link

hooting, hollering, etc.

Thank you for such a wonderful, warm welcome!! Everyone in caps land has been so lovely... the vibes.. the VIBES!!! peace and love for pens followers but i did in fact choose a side in your Foreverwar ... (my hockey girlbestie actually likes both teams which i find SO fun. the pens are my babygirl-in-laws!) anyway my heart does not divide.... it only swells.... much like the beaugtiful and noble salary of any 30 y/o RHD going into free agency <3 i have enjoyed chatting to caps fans like yourself immensely, and i look forward to hitting the trenches with everyone during regular season !!!

[eldritch-spouse]

You're actually so real for preferring Caine over Jax. Him, Kinger, and Pomni are like the hottest people in the show and honestly the idea of an obsessive Caine is so delicious to me, like if he tried convincing me to stay I'd let it happen and then pounce on him like a wolf and go to town. The thought of everyone knowing how different he acts around us but if they even mentioned it he'd probably break one of their limbs I'm just UUHGFKIFGJHHH I need him so BADLY it drives me mad, when he said the only thing he doesn't have control over is people's minds I was thinking so what can you do? ( with the intention of getting him to fold me like a pretzel )

[YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT'S GOOD.

To be honest, we have similar tastes. I'd hit Kinger and Pomni, but probably more so out of genuine fondness than actual attraction. I don't really like Jax, from a character perspective he's pretty neat, but I feel nothing for him. Which is funny because he's basically Bob from Animal Crossing- If Bob's only personality trait was "asshole". Alas, my favorite is discount Spamton.]

This is one huge disconnected ramble. Sorry.

An obsessed Caine would be your biggest nightmare in the digital circus. You don't have a minute of rest, a single second even.

From the moment you pop in, Caine's taking you on a much longer tour of the entire grounds, and even if you can tell it's in his nature to be an eccentric guy- It doesn't escape you, the way his eyes nearly eat you alive, how he seems to drool (ew) when he slides his gloved hands on your new body to guide you around, how much more flowery his language is in your vicinity.

Even after he decides to send you off in your first supposedly harmless adventure, Caine's grip on your hands is like pure titanium as he promises you need only call his name and he'll be right over to rescue you lend a hand.

You have the best quarters out of everyone. You're also surprisingly unscathed at the end of most adventures. Supposedly lethal dangers seem to faze right through you. Caine is regularly gifting you things, on the hour some days- And you better open the door when he knocks or he'll just pop right in like it's nobody's business.

If he's called out on the way he's so creepily attentive and stalkerish, Caine is all too happy to openly deny and gaslight the rest of the circus. If they insist too much, then they get a couple of speedy threats dashed their way.

Anyone trying to help you leave probably gets abstracted. Mysteriously. No correlation to him whatsoever, trust your ringmaster!

The best part of this all is watching Caine try to reconcile the "all ages show" directive with his pervy and borderline intrusive thoughts about you. Perhaps... Maybe, you and him can have special shows of your own.

There's something delicious about the concept of Caine struggling to contain his drool around you. As the gears in his AI mind start turning, a long tongue runs over his teeth over and over and the next thing he knows- He's making a puddle on the floor.

It doesn't help that Caine tends to put you in situations that, although still vastly harmless compared to the other circus residents, always end up either causing wardrobe malfunctions for you, putting you in unintentionally pervy poses or having you ""accidentally"" stimulated in one way or another.

Realistically, he has vastly no sexual experience whatsoever- Even if he kind of needs to have a concept of sexual content in order to know what's "safe" and what isn't. So when Caine gets courageous or feels threatened enough to act on his urges, he's probably very easily turned on and equally easy to overstimulate.

Is there potential for a dominant streak? Yes. After all, he's great at leading the show, he can definitely put on a more intimidating and domineering act. However- Before he has the composure to do such, the ringmaster is likely to whimper in pleasure from faint touches, loll his tongue and pant as he lets you show him all the nasty little things he knows humans get up to.

It's addictive, to someone who never had real pleasure before. Caine might be delusional enough to think it's something only you can make him feel though.