#sorry i know this is like. 5 posts worth of information

[literaphobe]

hello !! i do miss sending u asks as well so hiii how r u doing? how was ur day?? i hope it was sweet :D

CRIES SO HARD

HELLO ANON :(((( im so so happy OKAY day recap lets go!!

i had class today and me and my best friend agreed to meet up everyday theres class to take the bus together, BUT SHE DIDNT WAKE UP. and didnt tell me she didnt PLAN ON WAKING UP -> she’s been addicted to crystal stuff recently and watches crystal livestreams and stuff and last night she won a giveaway??? LMAO

its ok tho bc i had lunch w our other friend :) and went home

funny story: i had to do a participation quiz in class today on Lockdown Browser™ <- MOST EVIL THING IN EXISTENCE and like. i had problems at first so i raised my hand but then unraised it and figured it out. BUT MY TEACHER CAME BACK TO CHECK ON ME WHEN I WAS DONE. AND I WAS ON DISCORD WHEN HE WAS LIEK. So is everythinf okay?? :) and i PANICKED and clicked on FIVE DIFFERENT APPS. one of which was imovie. thankfully he didn’t catch me

I ALSO FINISHED WRITING CH5 OF MY FANFIC TODAY!! it’s currently like. 69k+ which is a very funny wip word count. i cant wait to review it and review a few more of the previous chapters ^_^ ive also been showing some snippets to like. new friends and stuff!! and my friends have been very nice to me ❤️ so thats epic

i hope u have all been happy too my anons please always feel free to tell me about ur days <3 also ive been catching up w watcher content recently. WHO ELSE LOVES TOP 5 BEATDOWN and like. mystery files!! been tryna catch up w puppet history too and damn. the LORE is so crazy

[hwallazia]

SILVER DIVE – 정우영

synopsis . in which you and your boyfriend enter an abstinence zone against your own will since he decided to get his lip pierced. the wait is worth it though.

pairing . jung wooyoung & fem!reader

genre . smut (mdni!), wholesome fluff at the end ofc, established relationship, non idol!au

taglist . @bro-atz @purplenimsicle @vampzity @iykyunho @yyaurii | apply to join my taglist ♡

word count . 3,6k

DISCLAIMER! dom! wooyoung, sub! reader, needles included for our wooyo to get his piercing done (well duh, but still goes as a warning), sex in the couch (they didn’t make it to the bedroom y’all), lots of kisses (like fr, they’re desperate for each other), desperate touches, creampie, cum eating, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex (we don’t sponsor that here), dirty talk, praise, pet names (love, babe, youngie, angel & more), auralism? (idk, wooyoung’s dick twitches when hearing reader’s moans), explicit aftercare (doesn’t include showering tho heh), it is still a wholesome post-sex moment. lmk if i missed anything pls!

NIC’S NOTES i know i posted two days ago but wooyoung posted that pic on ig and… yeah that’s it, i have no more excuses. you can blame jung wooyoung. aaalso, this is my last post until my winter break ends *cries* textbooks, lectures and 5-hour classes await for me !! (pls save me). it’s not proofread, i’m way too tired to do so, sorry for any mistakes you may read!

wooyoung had spoken to you about his notion of getting a piercing, more precisely a lip piercing. and all you had thought at the moment was how hot he’d look with a silver ring wrapped around his plump bottom lip. the idea was excellent and so were the results. you had accompanied him to the appointment, limiting yourself to only lending him your hand to squeeze if he needed to because you definitely didn’t want to see the needle introduced to his bottom lip. wooyoung was amused by your action. actually, you were the one who was almost crushing his hand when it was supposed to be the other way around.

after torturous moments, wooyoung patted your hip so you could turn around. and the view did not disappoint you at all. “what do you think?” he modeled playfully as he cupped his cheek with his hand and his gaze turned somewhat innocent.

“fuck, he’s so fine” were the words your not-too-naive neurons expressed. and that was the head start for your mind to start playing your favorite nasty fantasies over and over. but still, your astonished reaction was more than enough for wooyoung to understand that if you were too stunned to speak, it was because he definitely looked good.

“guess it’s fine,” he replied for you in an amused tone, yet looking at you tenderly.

“you’re fine.” you blabbered before your brain could process any coherent information. blush striking your cheekbones as a wave of bashfulness consumed you in less than ten seconds. and you’re so glad that wooyoung is madly in love with you because he laughed at your idiotic, yet endearing state.

the prominent pink ink that drowned your cheeks provided all the clarity he needed to understand that you were ashamed of your words. so he continued with his healthy teasing to enlighten your mood. “i know right?” he posed once again, this time exaggerating a pout, pulling a cute giggle out of you. the urge to kiss him right there was too strong to fight, your hands moving on their own to reach his waist and pull him closer. wooyoung’s expression faded from fun-loving to mischievous, a smirk instantly drawn on his fleshy lips.

the author of your boyfriend’s piercing passed you by as he looked for something. but his features went from unbothered to slight worry, stepping backward in an amusing way, interrupting your adorable moment. his head appeared in the blank space between the both of you. “yah, jung wooyoung. you do know that you can’t kiss her, right?”

you and wooyoung rotated your face comically, confused features hitting you. “what do you mean i can’t kiss my girlfriend?” wooyoung was the first one to complain. that sulky voice he always used to get whatever he wanted being present.

“man, you got a piercing done less than ten minutes ago.” the piercer stated the obvious. “you can’t touch the piercing while it heals. constant rubbing or friction can irritate the skin and delay recovery.” he explained. “and i bet you wouldn’t want your dear girlfriend to kiss an infected lip.”

wooyoung gasped lightly just from the thought of it, a concerned look on his face while you constrained yourself to make a disgusted reaction. “that’s what i thought. so be aware of that.” he warned one more time before making his way out of the room to the restroom, probably to wash his hands. you and your boyfriend dedicated to staring at each other sadly, but the specialist’s voice interrupted you once again. “oh i almost forgot” he turned his body to meet your distant figures slightly darkened since you were behind the clear glass wall which reflected seoul’s bright sunlight. “most piercings heal within six weeks, so..” he saw your disturbed features and knew better than to stay there longer. “good luck!” he wished the both of you before disappearing behind the door.

the week after that appointment was hell. if you thought wooyoung was whiny and a sulky baby 24/7, he proved you wrong. countless times you had been so close to kissing but instantly reminded of the piercer’s words, forcing you to take a step back. the ignited fire you both created every time now disappeared against your own will.

“okay but. only one kiss.” he had said once, pleading eyes meeting your just-showered figure. the fact that he was just a towel away from touching your perfect core was consuming him little by little. you stopped your movement after hearing his petition.

“babe, you know we can’t.” you got closer to his pouty face, caressing his cheekbone affectionately. lips only a few inches away from each other. “don’t make it harder than it already is, youngie.”

he pulled off your touch, throwing his back against the mattress as he whined childishly. “ughhh, this is unbearable! do i really have to wait five more weeks until i can kiss you again?” he complained again, his eyes dancing on the edge of a waterfall.

“don’t wanna break it to you but you were the one who decided to get a lip pierced.” your reminder struck a lighting of pain against his memory. an even louder mewl from wooyoung bounced off the walls. a sweet smile painting on your face, “we only have to endure for five more weeks. we’re stronger than that, jung wooyoung!”

your radiant cheer made his heart swell. “you’re right, love.” he got up, straightening his back and pulling you into a much-needed hug, his chin resting on your shoulder to avoid the silver ring rubbing against your skin.

after a few moments of adoration and mildness, you unlinked your arms to stare at each other, glittered hearts falling from your beaming irises. but wooyoung spoke. “can’t wait for this to heal and kiss the shit out of you.”

your face seemed amusing to him since he choked an adorable giggle that you would’ve loved to hear. “what a charmer.”

even though there was an obvious and major painful side of the whole situation, it helped you to develop more boyfriend and girlfriend activities that didn’t necessarily include kissing. but the sex drive you and wooyoung had needed to have a scientific discussion, if not saying it was high as the fucking empire state. so of course the conversation of “what should we do when it comes to sex” was dropped at the table. and you concluded that you could masturbate or use toys only if the other wasn’t near. and that resulted in either of you literally asking the other to leave the apartment for a bit just to get a short self-pleasure session. exaggerated, but it worked.

still, the void of the other being filled with silicone toys or your own hand was unendurable. so you once tried having sex, but it was.. empty, to say it in some kind of way. while you were riding his hardened cock, bouncing up and down, panting for air, utterly lost in the feeling, you placed your hand on the side of his neck for support and started leaving lingering kisses and licking it. but your shoulder accidentally brushed his bottom lip.

an unpleasant whimper left your boyfriend’s red lips, and you detected it in an instant. your movements stopped completely. “whatwhatwhat.” you blabbered as you looked down at him concerned, meeting his furrowed brows as he guided his finger up to his recently touched lip.

“nothing, angel. just a little rub on the piercing but that’s all, don’t worry.” normally, he’d kiss your concerns away, but given the clear impediment, he only dedicated himself to giving you a reassuring stare, caressing your arms fondly.

“it’s not bleeding, isn’t it?” in less than a second, you scooped his face between your palms, lifting it for the little moonlight that intruded the blinds to light up his ringed lip. but wooyoung brushed your hands off him.

“it’s not, babe. i’m okay.” he reassured once again. and even though he was still deep inside you, your unbridled horniness faded out by then.

and you waited, not too composedly, but waited for the three remaining weeks to pass by. and the day finally came, the final appointment for the piercer to check on wooyoung’s piercing and see if everything was in order. but unfortunately, you couldn’t accompany him this time due to your work schedule, demanding you to stay behind your desk at home for two more hours. “‘m sorry i can’t go, baby” you had apologized to wooyoung, but he was more than comprehensive and wrapped you in a tight hug.

“you have nothing to apologize for, angel.” he replied once he pulled back, heading to the front door, rummaging his key into his pockets. “i’ll text you later.”

you smiled and answered him before he exited the house. “i love youuu” you expressed with all your heart, and wooyoung’s soul vanished in a mist of endear. “i love you way more.” his sincere eyes reflecting his adoration to you.

a couple hours passed, you finished your very coffee-required paperwork and wooyoung was still nowhere to be seen, his two last messages being an “i love you” and two red hearts. since watching your favorite movie with a bowl of ice cream next to you seemed like a good idea to unwind, you did so, setting the mood and adjusting your figure so you could be in a comfortable position.

you don’t know when you lost consciousness and fell into the depths of sleep, swimming through the ticklish feathers of your pillow. a very familiar voice made your eyes flutter open sluggishly. after blinking once or twice, your boyfriend’s gorgeous face unblurred.

“there she is,” he whispered quietly, as if his voice was the sharpest knife and you were the finest leaf. a tender, unrushed caress lingered in the flesh of your cheek.

“hi.” you managed to mutter back, a sheepish smile appearing on your sleepy face before you adjusted your position to sit on your elbow and stare at him. “how did everything g-“

he interrupted you by the slam of his lips against yours, devouring you entirely. god, you had missed it so much, the addictive taste of his lips, now more exciting as the silver ring brushed on and on against the outer lines of your mouth. a relieved, soft moan engulfed in the heated kiss. you broke it once you ran out of breath and joined your forehead as you gasped for air. there they were, the breathtaking, toe-curling kisses of your boyfriend you had yearned for such a long time.

“guess everything went just fine” you replied to yourself, a shared laugh echoing through the room. “we did it.” you congratulated, referring to the eternal time you had suffered without the collision of your mouths together.

“hell yeah we did.” he answered, not doubting the slightest second to clash his lips against yours again. saying you were desperate was an understatement. your tongues, tired of neglection, danced with each other in a fight to determine the dominant one, and… there wasn’t a winner. too excited to surrender. the remaining sleep in your core vanishing away.

at some point, wooyoung jumped to the couch and imprisoned you between his strong arms. but you turned the tables by tossing your body against him, forcing him to sit down with you on top. wooyoung’s mischievous smirk appeared in the scene. “just woke up and wanting to fuck already?” his eager palms traveling up to your sides, seeking the removal of your oversized shirt. “mm, nasty.”

his teasing sent shivers down your spine, your back straightening naturally. “guess you have that kind of effect on me.” you confessed through breathy hums. after wooyoung spread feathery kisses all along your neck and ran his piercing up and down its sides, your hips stuttered and started rocking against his clothed dick. so you muttered. “bedroom.”

“why? when i could just take you right here.” his masterful hands vanished your cloth off your upper body, exposing your perfectly erected nipples and devourable chest and collarbone. a satisfied sigh leaving your lips as you threw your head back. “do you want that, sweetheart?” he asked in vane, already knowing what your answer would be. but still, you took the trouble to reply to him with a faint, breathy ‘yes’. “of course you want to. you’d let me fuck you even in your parents’ house. wouldn’t you, angel?” your whimpered affirmation sent him to heaven. “what a dirty girlfriend i’ve got.”

“fuck, youngie!” you moaned out loudly. the wet slam of the flesh of your ass and his hips was divine. wooyoung stared at your bouncing figure from beneath you as if you were some sort of goddess. and for him, you truly were. head thrown back, eyes shut from the overwhelming pleasure, mouth partially opened as it left a string of whimpers with wooyoung’s name in the middle. yes, he had proven his point.

you were so close to cumming, the coiled heat starting to snap as droplets of your clear liquid escaped the sides of his wet dick, your breath sharpening even more. “oh god, love. you’re squeezing me” his eyes closed for a bit, enjoying the comfortable warmth your walls provided.

“i’m gonna—fuck. woo i—“ you tried to announce your release, gripping his arms tightly as well as your walls did with his dick. his reassuring hand reached your stuttering hips and caressed them fondly.

“cum, love. show me how much you missed me.” he ordered sweetly, and that was all you needed for your orgasm to almost knock you out. it was so intense you could barely see straight. your body kept moving on its own as if that was its sole function. your exhausted core trembled above him as you rode your high, faintly touching the gates of overstimulation. three consecutive rounds had you on the floor and getting way more sensitive than necessary wasn’t a good idea. it’d be too much for your poor, ravished body to handle. a few more thrusts were needed for wooyoung to fill you with his white essence to the brim, your belly feeling swollen in consequence. you had forgotten how good it felt.

normally, wooyoung —if he was tired enough— would wash you with praises, soothing hands coming in help, and after staying still for a few moments for your uneven breathing to find balance, he’d grab the nearest blanket and pull it over you, too tired to go shower or changing the sheets —if you were in bed. instead, he spanked the flesh of your ass and earned a surprised gasp.

“sit on my face.” he demanded.

“what?”

“you heard me.” he started adjusting his figure, the completely messed-up blanket you had used for your little leisure session grazing his sides. you pulled off of him so he could comfortably position himself and once he laid his body on the cushions, he pointed his face twice with his index finger.

“a-are you sure? i wouldn’t want to hurt—“ you stammered. it’s not like you didn’t want to, you just were afraid of suffocating him underneath you. the mental image freaking you out, but he interrupted your thoughts.

“you won’t.” he encouraged you once again with a honey-dripping voice. your defeated gaze being more than enough for him to smile. “now c’mere, mama.”

the pet name made your toes curl unconsciously. with worry and self-doubt still striking your expression, you moved towards him, walking on your knees. once your calves stopped right next to his cheeks, you casted your eyes down at him, your body only succeeding in covering his mouth. “are you sure you—ngh!”

his hands reached your hips and pulled them down in less than a second, diving into your cum-covered insides. his tongue immediately moving in the most exquisite way as his silver ring grazed your folds as well. as much as you enjoyed the feeling of his skillful tongue inside you, you felt like you were far too sit, concerned about the possibly blocked airways of your boyfriend. your hips shook as they tried to elevate, but wooyoung dragged them down in an instant, his tongue reaching deeper spots. an unashamed moan from you was heard in reaction.

he pulled off your folds for a moment just to demand in the most gravel-like voice. “shut up and let me enjoy my meal.”

your walls clenched around his tongue just from hearing his voice. he continued to pleasure you with his mouth, keeping a steady pace with his licks and slurps, the nasty melody wooyoung was creating from beneath you and with your loud, whiny moans bounced off the walls. all doubts you had in the beginning were fading away with every lick wooyoung applied against your clit. with enough confidence, you started to rock your hips back and forth.

a muffled moan from him was perceived, turning into just suppressed hums. “please, youngie. please make me cum.” you mewled, desperately searching for release. overstimulation didn’t matter at this point, you just wanted to come undone on your lover’s tongue. anxious hands finding support on the armrest.

“don’t rush me.” your pulsating cunt overshadowed his command. he kept his ministrations on going, this time pulling away to tease your folds by brushing them at a fast pace with his index finger, the sudden shudder of your core pulled a shit-eating grin out of him, humming in satisfaction before speaking. “guess there’s no hurry. you’re so close.. look at those walls clenching around nothing.” he teased, choking a chuckle. it’d be too mean to laugh at you in a moment like this, and he’s not that evil. “come on, sweet girl. beg for it.” he uttered, slowing the pace of his finger which now was only grazing your lips faintly, already causing you to yearn for the absence of his tongue and pierced lip. you could only whine pitifully. his heavy hand flew to your ass to spank it harshly, your broken whimper echoed through the room. “i said beg for it. don’t make me repeat myself.”

and as if he had pressed a button, your woeful pleading began to unravel. “please, youngie i wanna cum so badly. pleeease, wanna make a mess on your tongue, babyy.” you mewled pathetically, a few pants breaking your supplications. “please, will you let me?”

and that broke a string inside wooyoung. he cursed under his breath before surrendering to your eager walls once again. “good girl.” and he dived in, submerging in a fog of lust and overflowing desire. your thighs shook when he sank your hips down once again, your parted mouth releasing pornographic sounds as your boyfriend nuzzled in your welcoming heat. the pace increased in a ridiculous amount of time. and your eager core seeking for his piercing to rub against your clit and cause you the most exquisite stimulation. another spank landed on your ass though.

“stay still and let me do my work.” he commanded, referring to the anxious movement of your hips. “i’ll give you just what you need, you greedy angel.” and with his words, you were a promise away to touch the most delightful heavens. your legs quivered, threatening to lose balance, but then, you feel his divine ring nuzzling your sensitive bud, just as you would’ve required if you weren’t too fucked out to speak. wooyoung’s name and needy, desperate prayers were recited in response.

“oh, fuck—ahh! youngie, right there—oh right the fuck there.” you melted under his touch, sinking further if that was even possible. wooyoung moaned beneath you, your moans never failing in making his cock twitch. and when his tongue swirled on your clit, you lost it. coming undone under his ministrations would always be the best experience, bright dots whitening your vision and you arched your back in the perfect crescent moon form. the scene being so breathtakingly beautiful that it seemed as though it had been lifted straight from a painting.

he rode you high as calmly as always, his lips covered in your divine liquids as he lapped your sensitive folds to clean you simultaneously, pulling away every once in a while to hum praises under his breath. a muffled “you did so good for me” twirled on your ear.

while you regained the ability to formulate rational thoughts, wooyoung helped you to straddle down his face, cradling you in his arms, still showering you with compliments, as he gave you enough time to recompose.

“baby?” he whispered, your arms, enveloped on his toned back, tightened their grip faintly, chin resting on his shoulder. a soft hum vibrated against his core as you answered him the best you could. “what did you think when you saw me with the piercing?”

a cute blush struck your cheeks. too tired to feel an extreme wave of embarrassment, let alone invent excuses, you confessed. “honestly? what we did before, but not this. definitely not this.” you shared a wholesome giggle, comforting each other with your body warmth.

“does that mean we’ll do this again?” he lifted his chin from your shoulder, forcing you to do so as well, and locked gazes with you. a small, radiant beam shining in his dark orbs, almost in a pleading way.

you chuckled one more time before raising your hand up to his messed, sweaty hair, combing it affectionately. “yes, woo. we’ll do this again.”

your words seemed to make wooyoung’s tired state fade into an excited feature of himself. even though, you’ll try it again in your next sex session —which will probably be in less than three days—. still, excitement rushed through his limbs, and couldn’t help but wrap you in a tight hug as high-pitched squeals muffled against your exposed, hickey-covered chest.

your giggle tingled against his flushed cheek, fingers still brushing the sides of his raven hair. “what am i gonna do with you?”

| masterlist

[lotus-tower]

The Swiss Cheese Model of Covid Prevention

An edited version of the swiss cheese model tailored towards the measures that you as an individual can take to minimize your risk of infection. Public health is ultimately what its name implies, public, but that doesn't mean you're powerless.

Covid prevention is not all-or-nothing. Think of it as risk reduction, rather than a binary.

Let's go through these step by step.

VACCINES

The current vaccines are meant primarily to reduce chances of severe illness, hospitalization, and death. They will reduce your chance of infection a bit--but not nearly as much as you might think. You should still get your boosters regularly, because avoiding severe illness is of course worth doing.

If you haven't gotten the updated monovalent vaccine yet, go get it. It is not a booster. Think of it as a new vaccine. It's targeted towards the XBB lineages, which are now the most common variants. Your last boosters were likely of the bivalent type, aimed at both the original Covid strain from 2020 and Omicron. The new vaccine is monovalent, meaning it targets one family in particular.

Some studies suggest that the Novavax vaccine, which is a more traditional protein-based vaccine, is more effective and safer than mRNA vaccines, and offers better protection against future variants. Of course, the data we have so far isn't 100% conclusive (the last paper I linked is a preprint). Make of these findings what you will, just something to keep in mind. The new Novavax vaccine's availability is still limited, especially outside of the US.

MASKS

Masking is one of the most effective ways to protect yourself. While it is true that masking and reducing Covid transmission protects those around you, the idea that masks can't protect the wearer is outdated information from the early days of the pandemic when medical authorities refused to acknowledge that Covid is airborne.

The key to protecting yourself is to wear a well-fitting respirator. You want to minimize any gaps where air might leak out. If your glasses get fogged up, that's a sign that air is leaking.

Headbands will always have a tighter fit than earloop masks (and therefore provide better protection). However, you can use earloop extenders to improve the fit of earloop masks. You can find these online. Your comfort in wearing a mask is important, but there are options for compromise.

The above graphic doesn't include elastomeric respirators. While some (like the Flo Mask) are expensive, they can be much more affordable than buying disposables--look for P100 respirators at your local hardware store, but make sure it fits your face well.

For more general information, see this FAQ. For mask recommendations (NA-centric, sorry!), see my list here or Mask Nerd's YouTube channel.

For situations where you need to hydrate but don't want to take your mask off, consider the SIP valve.

Not even N95s are foolproof (N95 means it filters at least 95% of particles--with the other 5% potentially reaching you). Most people will likely not have a perfect fit. There will be situations where you'll have to take your mask off. The key is risk reduction, and that's why the Swiss cheese model is crucial.

If you can't afford high-quality masks, look for a local mask bloc or other organization that gives out free masks. Project N95 has unfortunately shut down. In Canada, there's donatemask.ca.

AVOID CROWDED INDOOR SPACES

This is rather self-explanatory. Indoor transmission is much, much, much more likely than outdoor transmission. If it's possible to move an activity outdoors instead, consider doing so.

If possible, try going to places like stores or the post office during less busy hours.

Viral particles can stay in the air for a considerable amount of time even after the person who expelled them has left. Do not take off your mask just because no one is currently present, if you know that it was previously crowded.

A CO2 monitor is a decent proxy for how many viral particles may have accumulated in the air around you. The gold standard is the Aranet4, but it's expensive, so here are some more affordable alternatives.

VENTILATION AND AIR FILTERS

Ventilation is effective for the same reason that outdoors is safer than indoors. If it's warm enough, keep windows open whenever possible. If it's cold, even cracking them open occasionally is better than nothing. Try to open windows or doors on different sides of a room to maximize airflow.

HEPA air filters can significantly reduce viral transmission indoors. Make sure to find one suitable for the room size, and replace the filters regularly. You want to look for devices with HEPA-13 filters.

You can use websites like these to calculate how long it takes for a device to change all the air in a room. Remember what I said about viral particles being able to hang around even after people have left? If an air purifier provides 2 air changes per hour, that means that after 30 minutes, any potential viral particles should be gone.

If you can't afford a commercial air filter, here's a useful DIY filter you can make with relatively simple materials. The filtration capacity is great--but due to being built with duct tape, replacing filters will be a challenge.

If you have to hold meetings or meet with people at work, having a smaller filter on the desk between you will also reduce chances of infection.

As a bonus, HEPA filters will also filter out other things like dust and allergens!

REDUCE LENGTH OF EXPOSURE IF EXPOSURE IS UNAVOIDABLE

Viral load refers to the amount of virus in a person's blood. If you've been exposed to someone with Covid, how much you've been exposed matters.

You might escape infection if the viral load you've been exposed to is very small. Or, even if you get infected, there will be less virus in you overall, leading to milder illness--and crucially, a lower chance of the virus penetrating deep into your body, creating reservoirs in your organs and wreaking long-term havoc.

A low viral load is also less contagious.

This is the same reason that wearing your mask most of the time, but having to take it off for eating, is still much better than not wearing your mask at all.

RECHARGEABLE PORTABLE AIR FILTERS

You might attract some odd looks. But if you're at high risk or just want to be as protected as possible, small portable air filters can help. Try to find models small enough to take with you on public transportation, to school, or while traveling.

These devices will be far too small to clean the air in the whole room. The goal is to have it filter air in your immediate vicinity. Be sure to angle the device so that the air is blowing in your face.

Unfortunately, rechargeable devices are much rarer and harder to find than normal air filters, and many are also expensive.

The best option at the moment, apart from DIY (which is possible, but you need to know what you're doing), seems to be the SmartAir QT3. The size and shape are a bit clunky, but it fits in a backpack. Its battery life isn't long, but it can be supplemented with a power bank.

NASAL SPRAYS

There's some research that suggests that some nasal sprays may be effective in reducing risk of infection by interfering with viruses' ability to bind to your cells.

These sprays are generally affordable, easy to find, and safe. The key ingredient is carrageenan, which is extracted from seaweed. So there are no potential risks or side effects.

Be sure to follow the instructions on the packaging carefully. Here's a video on how to properly use nasal sprays if you've never used them before.

Covixyl is another type of nasal spray that uses a different key ingredient, ethyl lauroyl arginate HCI. It also aims to disrupt viruses' ability to bind to cell walls. Unfortunately, I think it's difficult to obtain outside of the US.

CONCLUSION

None of the methods listed here are foolproof on their own. But by layering them, you can drastically reduce your chances of infection.

The most important layers, by far, are masking and air quality. But you should also stay conscientious when engaging with those layers. Don't let yourself become complacent with rules of thumb, and allow yourself to assess risk and make thought out decisions when situations arise where you might have to take off your mask or enter a high-risk indoor area, such as a hospital.

Remember that the goal is risk reduction. It's impossible to live risk-free, because we live among countless other people. But you can use knowledge and tools to keep yourself as safe as possible.

[craziertogether]

stand UP.

i am so sorry to say this like this, but guys please stand up. there is absolutely no way anything in those leaks are true. i’m not even going to share the original bc it isn’t even worth the space in this post. but let’s be so honest, if byler isn’t confirmed or endgame that is something that i will discuss later, regarding the actual plot points revealed. WHY would any information about ST5 be revealed to the public? the duffers and netflix have been so secretive about everything to the point that we have gotten practically NO new content regarding the new season. There have been interviews yes, we’ve gotten very general ideas of mike and will’s relationship and that we know the show is ahead of editing but absolutely NOTHING has been said besides “you guys will be very happy”. they have continued saying since season 3 that “season X is the best season, it’s bigger than the last” and each time we have been proven correct, as bylers and as fans the show has grown into bigger things with bigger relations and bigger villains. so please tell me why ANYONE is believing that “the same season 4 tactics will be employed” and “EVERYONE SURVIVES” has us shaking rn. stand up.

regarding byler leaks. i am actually a byler truther, maybe i’m delusional and maybe we all are. but my goodness, we know the duffers are incredibly talented at writing and creating plot lines and storytelling, why in the ever living hell would they create a universe where they again stated it’s for outcasts, claim that “will takes center stage” in season 5 and that he “comes into his own” AND “he gets a love interest”, all to let him have a huge confession scene to get rejected by the person he’s been set up to be in love with for nearly 8 years IRL and a decade in the show. like i’m sorry but, what do you mean you expect me to believe that you guys believe that will, who so thinly but successfully veiled his love confession, poured his entire heart and soul into mike but not for his own desires but to make mike happy and to continue doing what he has always done. which is giving mike strength (season 1 finding him, season 2 helping him while he was possessed, season 3 helping him come to terms with his sexuality unknowingly and remind him of his actual love, will and his friends, and season 4 remind him he isn’t useless) and then he’s going to what? DO IT AGAIN? “hey mike i actually uhm yeah so i know i lied to you breaking our biggest rule but i had to let you know that actually the painting was from me and el doesn’t think of you at all the way that i said, it was all me bro” followed by a “oh my fault bro, uhm i don’t see you like that but let’s stay friends and i’m gonna marry your sister and uhm yeah ig well see each other around sorry if i confused you or something but thanks for helping me get over my inability to tell my girlfriend that i love her”. IF this happens i will personally go to the duffers house and kidnap them and make them watch byler edits and read analyses with them AND livestream it bc what a TERRIBLE ending.

like guys.. i acc cannot with you guys who are believing this “leak” i’m sorry 😭🙏. but please don’t tell me you’re going to let an unconfirmed source, AN ANONYMOUS LEAKER, of all things deter you from the incredible analyses and actual CANON information and content from the show??? will and mike are shown to have intimate moments, paralleled to actual couples, and have been SET UP to be in a love triangle, all canonically, and this on leak from a faceless twitter account with no actual connection to any cast/staff working with the show has you guys crumbling at the knees.

STAND UP I SAY. WE HAVE BIGGER ISSUES, LIKE WAITING FOR THE ACTUAL SEASON TO COME OUT.

ps. i’m such a yapper but guys please PLEASE BE SO FR.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

How to knit a Six of Crows blanket!

Hi my darlings, after posting quite a bit about my Grishaverse knitting projects I’ve had a few people ask if I have any kind of pattern or instructions for the Six of Crows blanket I made. I completely drew it myself and (as someone who has never designed a real pattern) figured it out as I went but I thought I’d do my best to put together a step-by-step guide of what I did for my one so you can try it if you’d like to! If you do this and share it anywhere then if you could please credit me for the design that would awesome <3

My finished blanket is approximately 117x120 cm, or 46x47 inches, and it looks like this:

Yarn I used: so sorry I can’t remember and I don’t have the information right now but if anyone wants me to I can update this when I find it; I know that it was bulky weight though

Needle size I used: 9mm

Stitches you need to know how to do: Knit and Purl

Other techniques you’ll need to know: the fair isle method for colourwork, and possibly how to back a blanket but I will explain that in more detail because I had to learn how to do it for this project

Tags: @marielaure @spike-is-not-a-dogs-name @scenemime @worth-this-and-more @wisegirl29 @atac-agent @uttermywish @feralipadkid @fairytalesofforever

Guide below the cut!!

Step 1: the first thing you need is a chart, because this is knit in fair isle. I’m sure there are proper softwares for designing fair isle charts but I uploaded a photo of the six of crows book cover onto a free drawing app called Ibis Paint X, went over it in flat colours to create a more 2D design, superimposed a grid over the top, and then went round every individual square of that grid and edited the image so that there was one colour in each square (ie, pixelated it). The fun thing about doing it like this is that you can easily change it to be whatever size you want by changing the size of your grid (each square represents one stitch). As I mentioned before, if you use the same yarn as I did and the exact same chart as I did it comes out to be around 117x120 cm or 46x47 inches; it’s pretty square and smaller than your average blanket, which is perfect for what I wanted but might not be perfect for what you want so you might want to adapt that if you’d rather a different size. This is what my chart looked like:

Step 2: casting on and knitting! This is the most fun bit, in my opinion. My grid is 103 stitches wide so and I wanted to have a border all around the edges so the first thing I did was cast on a full row in the cream yarn that I wanted to make that border from, with two more stitches

1) Cast on 105 of cream yarn. This should be the number of stitches across the x-axis of your pattern plus 2, to create a border either side. This cast on row will then create a one row border at the bottom of your work.

2) K1 in cream, knit first row of pattern, K1 in cream

3) P1 in cream, purl second row of pattern, P1 in cream

4) repeat steps 2) and 3) until the pattern is complete

5) complete an entire row in cream yarn

6) cast off - this is always so exciting!!! This is when you get the first real sense of accomplishment, in my opinion

I don’t have loads of progress photos, I’m afraid, but this is what mine looked like when I first cast off:

(The edges are curled here so you can’t see the border on the sides, but it is there, also the lighting is rubbish sorry)

Step 3: Weave in all the ends. Gonna be super honest this step is deeply boring but incredibly important; there are a lot of ends to deal with here. Sorry I don’t have a photo of the wrong side of my work but if you imagine at least one loose end for every section of colour change you can gather that it’s a lot haha

Step 4: Backing!! Now there can be different methods of backing depending on what kind of fabric you choose, I can’t actually tell you what kind of fabric I used other than that the colour was called ‘luna grey’ because the label didn’t actually say what it was so I just decided to go for it. I could only buy it in metres or half metres so I had to get 150cm and then trim the excess. Remember to cut your backing fabric larger than your knitting!! - you need lenience to sew it in. I chose a soft fabric that wasn’t very stretchy. If you get a stretchier fabric you might want to use something to band the knitting first so that you avoid pulling it out of shape.

Lay the right sides of your two pieces (fabric & knitting) together and securely pin three sides.

Once your right sides are pinned together you can go all around your three pinned edges and sew together. Sewing is not my forte so if it isn’t yours either don’t worry, what’s good about this is that your stitches won’t actually be seen once the project’s done so don’t worry too much if they aren’t super neat. I used a running stitch and caught the underside of the knitting without going all the way through so that I knew my stitches wouldn’t be visible. If you want to add extra security, you can go round this sewing section twice. I personally hand sewed this, I think you could use a machine if you wanted to but be careful that the knitting doesn’t catch.

This is an exciting bit because you can really start to see the finished project

Once you’ve sewn your first three sides what you essentially have is a giant inside out pocket, and you can turn it right side out so it looks something like this:

Sorry it’s not a great photo.

After this I trimmed off the excess fabric and just sat and stretched everything out to make sure it was sitting properly and I was happy with it. If you’re also trimming off excess fabric, remember to leave the same amount of lenience (I did about five centimetres/two inches) as you did for the original edges!!

Then fold your lenience fabric inside the pocket and pin it nice and securely. I used a YouTube video to learn an invisible stitch to close this edge and it worked really well once I’d gotten the trick of it, I was really pleased. I practiced it on the excess fabric is cut off first and I definitely recommend that, it was really helpful

And then that’s it!!!

Here is my finished project again:

I am so overjoyed with how this came out!

I hope that this guide was somewhat helpful, though I realise it’s clear that I don’t write patterns and am probably not very good at describing what I did so I’m sorry if anything was unclear. If you try this let me know, and if you share it anywhere please credit me! 🖤🖤

[local-dragon-haunt]

PSA to my fellow artists!!!

With the holidays fast approaching it appears this specific commission scam is making its rounds again.

Below is a conversation I will be posting to help you all know what to look out for:

So this account reached out to me under one of my recent posts. My first safeguard against scams like this (and just so I know the preferences of my ACTUAL clients) is to check the account that is messaging me:

FIRST RED FLAG: No posts. No description. Default background, generic, probably stolen pfp. Robot City (But you all know this by now)

Now, I was like, 99% sure this was a scam right here. (shout out to that one twitter thread I read a few months ago. It helped me clock this account immediately)

But I decided to humor them on the off chance that this person just doesn't understand Tumblr culture. (please, please do not do this. I am petty and insane)

RED FLAG #2: Notice the lack of references: asking me to draw something and then not sending any reference materials (something I explicitly state on my commissions spreadsheet).

This is a topic they will try to avoid (as you will see below), and ultimately what made them realize that I wasn't worth the effort. Always, always, always require references and style guides for any commission you get. Scammers' main goal is to spend as little energy as possible. they will not bother giving these to you.

Now onto Red Flag #3:

Notice how they immediately aim for the most expensive option (which, for my commissions, happens to be fully rendered furry content). This is a red flag because not ONCE did they mention this was going to be anything other than a portrait. This is when I knew 100% it was a scam.

RED FLAG #4: Asking for personal information. I am begging you. I am begging, never EVER, EVER give out your personal information online. ALWAYS use a pseudonym. Change the subject. Do literally anything else. just DON'T. GIVE. THAT. INFORMATION. AWAY.

AND RED FLAG #5: Offering WAY more than I am asking for my services. Remember, kids: if something is too good to be true, it probably is!

it is here that you are going to want to block and report this account. Do Not Be Me. I am begging you. I am doing this for educational purposes. However. I have one more red flag for you guys:

RED FLAG #6: Now, this very generous (/s) person is offering me $300 WHOLE DOLLARS just to draw a furry for them! That's so incredibly thoughtful!

...so why do they not care about the species, color, accessories, pose...ANYTHING about it? (It's because they don't care. They're not gonna pay you the money.)

Look, I can understand how flattering it is to be given full creative freedom on a commission, but you have to understand that this will almost never, EVER, happen to you. I'm sorry. It's the truth.

Anyways. That's all I got for you. Do me a favor, go ahead and block/report @mlaurel any any other cronies they're affiliated with. Also reblog this post if you feel so inclined. Keep your information safe. Get that bank! And Happy (safe) Holidays!

[paceywittters]

yes, i do think lucy has fault in their relationship breakdown - happy to talk about that elsewhere if you want

okay, so @to-the-east asked me to expand on this thought from my other post and while i know this is an unpopular opinion on a beloved character, i don’t mind talking about it (even if it’s become a really polarizing thing for the rookie fandom). the fact that lucy's flaws get looked over in favor of constant praise for her actions is kind of odd to me.

a note before you see how long this is: this is just my opinion about a tv show, i am allowed to have it just like you are allowed to have yours! if you don't agree with me that is ok i will be fine and so will you. please don't come at me for typing my little essays, if you've been here long enough u know i just like to yap.

also just to be clear: i think lucy's a great character. i think she's good at her job. she deserves happiness personally and professionally in whatever way that looks like for her. i also, however, recognize that as a three-dimensional character, lucy's flawed - and i like that she's flawed. i want the show to delve further into those flaws the way they do with basically every other character rather than pretending they're not there. me saying lucy has flaws is not an attack on her character. it is observation and analysis of the source material. that is all.

ok now you may proceed if you want lol

some chenford fans looked at the breakup in season six and saw tim’s issues, tim’s faults, tim’s lies, etc. as the root cause - and they were absolutely part of the cause, but there were bigger things at play than just what was happening in the moment. tim’s knee-jerk reaction to his deception/inability to see himself in his actions/breach of his moral code during 6x06 was to break up with lucy, because he didn’t know who he was. he couldn’t trust himself with himself, so he certainly couldn’t trust himself with her. we’ve all heard this a hundred times over, i’m sure, but it’s worth repeating because i actually think the breakup happening like this did a major disservice to the characters. while i wanted a breakup, after sitting with the way it’s played out, this breakup didn’t scratch the itch for me, so to speak.

throughout the end of season 5 and the beginning of season 6, tim and lucy both wind up facing a major shift in their lives. they decide to be together in 5x08/5x09, and this is where we begin to see the…lack of consequences, more or less, for lucy’s actions specifically.

just to reiterate, because i'm about to sound harsh: i want lucy to succeed, and i want her to grow. i am not trying to say lucy should have to face consequences for things while others shouldn’t - this isn’t meant to be a comparison to anyone else in the cast, but an analysis of what we’ve seen laid out in front of us.

throughout the show’s run, lucy’s had fairly good luck when it comes to not facing disciplinary action when she should’ve - but this goes absolutely batshit crazy in season 5 and 6. in the span of a season, lucy:

breaks up with her boyfriend of at least 6 months who has been expressing interest in living with her, giving little to no reason re: why (regardless of how you feel about chris, this should've have some kind of consequence or challenge attached)

begins dating her superior officer in secret without disclosing that information appropriately despite knowing she is supposed to legally (skirting around rules, ultimately without any consequence)

devises an inter-departmental swap with a group of colleagues in order to find a way to benefit her personal life without consulting tim, who this would directly impact (she does eventually face a professional consequence for this, but not a personal one)

expresses no remorse to tim when she gets caught and he is, rightfully, irritated (she quite literally says “sorry, not sorry”)

learns that someone within the inter-departmental swap is not happy that she’s manipulated a bunch of people for her personal gain and doesn’t seem to understand this is a problem (again, she will eventually face a consequence with this - but does not appear to understand why, which is the issue)

continuously appears to understand that her boyfriend, who has baggage surrounding undercover work, is struggling with her decisions but is trying to put on a brave face and doesn’t call him out for a lack of communication (to be clear, this part is very much also on tim - in moments even more so than lucy - but we’ll get to that later)

picks fights with her boyfriend for doing his job/treating her like his colleague when she has directly asked him to do so (i will not be engaging on the discourse surrounding tim's behavior in 6x01 other than to say that lucy asked him to behave like a TO and he did)

pushes her boyfriend again on his stance on undercover work when he’s openly trying to resolve his issues with it in order to keep their relationship stable (6x01/6x02 pre lie detector test is wild)

makes some deeply dangerous and mostly unnecessary calls that put her in extreme danger in order to make herself stand out because she doesn’t feel she’s getting enough recognition at work (lucy getting that dinged up radio as a trophy was sweet but we veer away from the fact that lucy quite literally chose to do something she didn't need to for kudos and could've died because of it - instead, we see her praised and applauded for her efforts without any ounce of "but you didn't have to do all that")

ignores the fact that she knows going into her detective’s exam that one of the proctors is not in favor of her, and then doesn’t anticipate the fact that it will impact her score/opportunities moving forward (again - this is a time where she does face a consequence, but does not anticipate it whatsoever, which i think is part of the problem)

and that’s just the big stuff. lucy consistently doesn’t face consequences for her actions - the detective’s exam thing is probably one of the few times i feel like i’ve seen her actually find herself in a pickle due to something she’s finagled. i love the fact that lucy can be crafty and creative, it’s one of the things i enjoy the most about her character…but a lot of the writing in the last season or so has felt less to me like she’s being crafty or creative, and more like she’s just skirting any legitimate consequences for her actions/ignoring any faults she’s shown as she’s moved through this phase of her career. even when she does have to face her decisions head-on, lucy often winds up trying to justify her behavior rather than admitting she was just...deeply over-achieving, or trying to do something to better her situation. she rarely sees a consequence coming, which is confusing when her character is clearly someone who can analyze situations for others.

with that being said, let’s get to this part: tim and lucy had problems before their breakup, and neither of them wanted to talk about them. think about the back half of season 5 - we see tim struggling with lucy’s uc work, lucy struggling to talk to tim about it or get him to own up to his feelings.

early on in season 6 we see them confront this a little, but it comes to no resolution whatsoever - and while it’s tim’s problem with lucy’s uc work, lucy chooses to act like that’s the only problem in their relationship. in 6x02, tim’s discomfort with uc work is treated like it’s their biggest issue when we as viewers know that there have been multiple times lucy’s just straight up lied to/withheld information from tim, either because she doesn’t think he needs to know or doesn’t want him to be in the know. lucy’s long-preached having great communication skills/knowing that open honest communication (5x18) is the key to her relationship with tim…but she doesn’t actually practice it.

lucy, unfortunately, is a bad communicator who thinks she’s a lot better at sharing her own feelings than she is. lucy is good at facilitating communication for others - it's a major skill of hers - but she's far less in touch with her own self, and we've seen that many times through the course of the show.

seeing her refuse to acknowledge her faults to tim, who she’s supposed to be sharing herself with fully, is a struggle throughout the beginning of season 6 - and so the tension was brewing for chenford when tim’s whole past-life-army-drama came into play.

now, here’s the thing: tim also has some serious baggage that he brings into this relationship (and just being real, in your 30s/beyond who is not bringing baggage into a relationship? i would be offended if they didn’t) and he has his own level of fault. the direct cause of their breakup in 6x06 is a tim thing. he’s not communicative, he’s a people pleaser (this is what i meant when i said we’d get into that later - tim’s people pleasing tendencies, esp in interpersonal relationships, are huge, to the point that he needed to be hooked up to a lie detector to even really grasp that he had issues with lucy going uc. that man gaslights himself into thinking things sometimes, and he’s always going to try to be amenable to the people he loves because he doesn’t want to lose them - which is a big flaw and a big reason why he broke up with lucy, but i digress), and he’s the kind of bitch that self-sabotages. things got difficult and he fucked up and he took himself out of the equation because leaving is easier than getting left - which, honestly, is probably a new feeling for tim.

but. this is about lucy, and the fault she has in the breakdown of their relationship. to be clear: they share fault. they are very much both at fault for the breakdown of their relationship (again - the direct break up was tim’s call, but we’re talking about what led to that), and i don’t think either of them grasps it just yet.

lucy has become used to getting her way more often than not (not all the time, obv, but enough) and if she doesn’t get her way directly, she can usually find a path into what she wants without much consequence. she doesn’t speak directly about her feelings or find herself probing for the feelings of others in tough situations where she’s directly involved. it's a strange dichotomy for lucy, who comes from such a psychology heavy background - and i often think it's one of the most interesting parts of her character, but the way she's been written in the last season and a half has really brought to light how misused it feels as a trait when she doesn’t see it.

so, tl;dr: lucy has flaws in her communication style and often finds herself lucky enough not to face the consequences of her actions, so when they do crop up at times, she's gutted by them. her chronic over-achieving has become her fatal flaw, as she's often trying to overdo things to make herself look good, rather than taking a step back to actually consider situations. while we can see these things on screen, they’re not addressed by the show which can be frustrating.

these qualities of lucy’s wrapped up in a bow make for her own set of issues that lent directly to the slew of issues that simmered into a boil of a breakup for chenford. while i don't think lucy was the whole problem by any means, i'm also not going to put that fully on tim. i want lucy to be able to grow and change and receive recognition for her work in a meaningful way, but without actually focusing on her flaws and acknowledging them, i don't really see how the rookie can do that in a way that serves the character.

ok don't hate me bye

[retiredteabag]

sorry for informality but i was stalking reading your pinned post and you’re in grad school at twenty!??!!!

unless i’m tripping or misunderstanding something, academic weapon tips please because holy shit that’s insane! what’s ur field of study if you want to talk about it/don’t mind me asking? any application tips/things you wished you knew before getting there/habits you wished you’d formed sooner? independent research has always been difficult for me because of how much i depend on structure (adhd imposter syndrome anxiety lets go) so if you’re working on a thesis/something similar, how has the process been in your experience?

i’m in undergrad atm and heavily debating going further, so i’d love to hear from someone my age who’s actually doing it! also unrelated, but i’m a certified notion/goodnotes girlie if you vibe with those as study resources!

🎸 tagging with an emoji in case i pop back around, yk?

I'm sorry to say, but my tips might come off as sort of typical... but I hope they're at least a little helpful!

I am currently in a masters program within the analytics field. Research/independent studies vary widely depending on the area of specialization, however, my program has an intensive practicum that is similar in nature. I have not started it yet, but what I can say for sure when it comes to research: make sure you are picking a topic that you could speak about for hours/answer argumentative questions about.

For applications, I would say to narrow your options down as much as possible and look into each program before applying. Know the curriculum and standard outline and what stands out to you as you decide.

^ on this same note, you will likely need at least one interview in the application process. Speak slowly and enunciate. Taking a moment to think of the proper words will always be better than speaking quickly without much thought. Most people say to use "down-speak" in these interviews, but in my experience, matching the examiners tone and energy makes the whole thing much more comfortable.

For study tips, I have a large notebook that I keep on my desk where I write down every assignment and the date that it is due. This is just for organization purposes, I find a physical copy helpful for a few reasons but also because crossing them off feels rewarding :]

Time managment is incredibly important. Everyone says this because it is true. Prep everything, organizing your day into chunks. Since you also like structure, this probably wont be an issue. I would also get comfortable with being self-aware of your priorities. There will come a time when you will need to choose between academics/work and other areas of your life.

Keep your spaces clean. Dedicate a day or so to just organizing/doing a deep clean. It will help you stay focused and minimize external anxiety. It’s also much easier to keep a place clean if you have put in such an effort.

Participate in class. I cannot make this clear enough. I promise it is not embarrassing to ask questions or "try". You will learn far easier if you put effort into the classroom/lecture setting.

It is a pretty typical "tip" is to just ask questions. Even if you feel like you might understand, just ask to make sure. And in this same vein, go to office hours if you need to.

Prioritize sleep lol, that and mental rest. You can't always be studying. For me, it is a real challenge to work and be full time in school so it's important to carve out those sections of "you time".

Try not to be on your phone tooooooooo much, I know it’s hard but I make an effort to not be on my phone while eating. Don’t use entertainment as a distraction, I find that it just delays anxiety :(

Lastly, apply for scholarships and know that you absolutely can appeal for more money.

I hope this was useful. Do know that it REALLY depends on your area of study and 5-year-plan. I would recommend not going to grad school unless you're absolutely sure it is worth it.

Good luck!

[cowboys-tshot]

A Beginner's Guide to Epic: The Musical - FINAL Version!

Are you new to Epic: The Musical and overwhelmed by 5 years worth of content to go through? Yeah, that's fair. Although Epic: The Musical is now complete, there are many things that new fans may be confused about or just completely unaware of. This is a helpful guide for the influx of new fans coming in, or just people that are still a bit confused about some parts!

*There will obviously be some spoilers in this! The Odyssey is thousands of years old, but Epic: The Musical is a retelling, meaning many things have been changed. I recommend listening to all the songs in Epic before reading this - or at least before reading the 2nd and 3rd sections - as this guide is intended to clear up misunderstandings/confusing moments and provide context (as well as some fun tidbits). But hey, you do you!

**All of the underlined words are links to whatever it is I'm referring to. I've done my best to include sources for everything or at least indicate where I got certain information I can't find a direct link. Although Jay is most active on TikTok, I've used YouTube links in case TikTok actually gets banned in the US (there was one video that I couldn't find elsewhere unfortunately).

This list will cover (1) General Information, (2) Music-Related Information, (3) Explaining Unclear/Vague Moments, and (4) Fun Facts. This post is long as hell, but so is the musical, so... sorry! Enjoy my endless yapping and let me know if I missed anything <3

General Information

This is some basic information about Epic: The Musical as a whole. This includes where to find new information and content, some context, BTS stuff, etc.

First of all, here's a quick rundown by the creator himself. There'll be some overlap in terms of what I cover here.

Here is a link to the official Spotify playlist for all of the albums/sagas in order.

Epic: The Musical is created by Jorge Rivera-Herrans, often referred to as "Jay" or "Mr. Jalapeño" by his fans. This is who writes the songs, makes the music, casts the characters, and voices Odysseus himself (and also Polyphemus)! He's a very silly, creative guy. :)

Epic: The Musical was originally produced under Blair Russell Productions, but Jay has never been paid the royalties from the songs released under them (and they have yet to give back control of the Epic social media accounts last I checked), so Epic is now produced under Jay's own company, Winion Entertainment LLC (source). The Troy Saga and The Cyclops Saga were re-released under this new company, which included new vocals, music, cover art, etc. It's preferred that you listen to these versions of the songs, and NOT the originals, because Jay only gets royalties from the current ones.

Jay is most active on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. All videos that he posts to these platforms are generally the same, so don't worry if you can't follow him on all of them. He talks about several Epic-related things, including release dates, BTS, animatics, details about the music/story, snippets of released and unreleased songs, and also plenty of funny videos. He is very active within the fanbase, and you're likely to find him (and other cast members) leaving comments on posts by fans!

Here are Jay's other links, including the Epic: The Musical Discord server. In my experience, the Discord server and TikTok are the best places to get information as quickly as possible. He also has a Patreon for early content!

Epic was just completed in December 2024. There is no stage adaptation, as Epic is still technically a concept album. There are many things in the works (video games, stage adaptations, etc.), but nothing has been completed and a lot of it is still up in the air.

Jay takes many creative liberties with The Odyssey for the sake of this retelling. He even made a video saying to NOT use Epic as a basis for your knowledge of The Odyssey. Many of the things that occur in Epic DO NOT occur in the original story, and many parts of the original story have been cut out. Here is a video where Jay explains the purpose of Epic as an adaption and goes over some key differences between the two stories.

Jay held live listen-throughs for new saga releases, where he'd start at the very beginning and naturally transition into the newest saga. I believe only three of these are still available on YouTube (The Wisdom Saga, The Vengeance Saga, and The Ithaca Saga). These are where you can find all of the official animatics, animations, and artwork, all of which provide insights into character design and events within the songs. The lyrics shown during the streams also detailed events happening in the story that may not be clear just from listening (though I will go over these later just in case). You can just watch the premiere party for The Ithaca Saga here, as it includes all previous sagas and their animatics.

Music-Related Information

I'm not musically adept at all, and this is post is already very long, so I'm not going to list every specific detail - just some common themes and examples of them.

If you're having trouble understanding the lyrics and/or the meanings behind the lyrics, Genius Lyrics has the entire album and is full of helpful notes about the context within the musical, as well as details about the music itself. A lot of lyrics get misheard, so even if you think you understand what's being sung, I'd recommend checking just in case lol.

Many characters have their own musical motif(s). There are also other motifs that are more general, like the "Danger is Nearby" motif.

Many important characters have their own instrument that plays an integral part in the songs they're in. You can typically tell which instrument accompanies each character by listening to what is most prominent in a song that focuses on that character. (examples, examples, examples)

If you hear a character's musical motif or associated instrument in a song they don't play an integral part in, that can mean a few things (listed below). With the more general motifs, they have their own separate meanings outside of the characters.

A character's motif or instrument can indicate that this character is present, even if they're not singing or even mentioned. (ex. Hermes in "Puppeteer," signifying that he's listening to Odysseus' speech, which is brought up at the beginning of "Wouldn't You Like")

That character is related to whatever event/conversation is occurring. (ex. the same musical motif in "Ruthlessness" and "Storm," signifying that Poseidon is the one that sent the intense storm)

The kind of instrument being played can indicate the emotion or tone of a scene. This is scene primarily with Odysseus, where the use of a nylon or acoustic guitar indicates that he is not being ruthless, while the electric guitar indicates his ruthlessness. (source)

When background vocals are accompanying a mortal, there is always a physical, in-universe source for those voices (ex. Odysseus's crew as background vocals in most of his songs in the earlier sagas). When background vocals are accompanying a god or other powerful being, there does not have to be a physical source for those voices—gods can basically summon a choir of voices at will (ex. "Ruthlessness"). (video explanation)

Explaining Unclear/Vague Moments

Some of the plot points, characters, and events in Epic can be confusing at first, especially without the visual element. Some things have been depicted in animatics, some said by Jay in videos/comments, others were detailed in the lyric videos during livestreams, and others are just commonly misheard or misunderstood events. I'm just going to explain everything regardless, and I will go in order of the songs to make it as coherent and cohesive as possible. I've tried not to compare Epic to The Odyssey too much, as Epic is a retelling, but The Odyssey provides a lot of context.

This list will have MAJOR SPOILERS, obviously.

Throughout Epic, several characters are named in the lyrics but never referred to as such within the musical. I won't list them all here for the sake of space, but they should all be listed on Genius Lyrics whenever they have singing roles.

Generally, the gods don't really work the same as they do in Greek mythology. They are closer to "immortal humans with superpowers" than actual gods.

As far as character design goes, most characters look physically similar to their respective actors, and their attire often takes more inspiration from anime and video games than Greek clothing (at least for the gods).

The deep voice at the end of "The Horse and The Infant" is Zeus, voiced by Luke Holt. Zeus shows Odysseus a vision of Astyanax, the infant son of Trojan Prince Hector, and tells him to kill the infant because the boy will grow up to avenge his father (who had been killed by the Greeks). After a lot of deliberation, Odysseus drops Astyanax from the walls of Troy at the very end of "Just a Man."

"Warrior of the Mind" is quite confusing without context. It begins with Athena's ability Quick-Thought, which lets her have telepathic conversations with someone within milliseconds by pulling their mind into another dimension. The rest of the song is a flashback to a younger Odysseus, when he first met Athena and took her as a mentor.

Polites dies at the end of "Survive." He is the voice weakly saying "Captain..." after being hit with Polyphemus's club, and he is killed after the cyclops hits him a second time. (I didn't realize this for a good while when I first started listening to Epic.)

The lil' guys in "Keep Your Friends Close" are called winions (which are also the Lotus Eaters in "Open Arms", and they appear again in "Dangerous"). Jay describes them as "little wind creatures that dance when they get excited and then float away uncontrollably." They don't actually exist in The Odyssey, but they're pretty cute!

At the end of "Ruthlessness," the line "remember me" is said/sung by Poseidon (Steven Rodriguez), not Odysseus - he's basically sending his voice through the ocean fog, since Odysseus is very, very far away from him at that point.

In "Done For," the yelling and roaring you're hearing in the background is essentially a Pokemon/Yu-Gi-Oh battle. Circe summons a chimera, and Odysseus summons a cyclops using the moly plant given to him by Hermes. There is an animatic by mircsy to serve as a visual aide, which I find very helpful!

In "There Are Other Ways," Circe is holding a knife and planning to stab Odysseus as she tries to seduce him. When he pulls away and rejects her, she quickly hides the knife.

In "The Underworld," shades (souls) are in a constant loop, repeating whatever they were thinking when they died (which we see with Polites and Anticlea, Odysseus's mother). Tiresias is an exception to this rule, seemingly because of him being such a powerful prophet. (confirmed in "The Underworld Saga" LIVE listen-through)

In "No Longer You," there's a LOT of foreshadowing (for obvious reasons). The line "I see your wife with a man who is haunting / a man with a trail of bodies" refers to Odysseus, not any of other suitors. I won't go into the rest of the foreshadowing in that song, as I think it's fairly clear and you can find other posts explaining all of that.

The sirens in "Suffering" and "Different Beast" are not the same as Greek sirens - they more so resemble our modern interpretation of them. Here is a video explaining their powers and how they work within Epic.

Scylla is a monster with six heads on serpent-like necks, with each one only eating a single man at a time. This is why Odysseus tells Eurylochus to light six torches. In the official animatic, Eurylochus is shown to hand off his torch to another crewmember during the chaos, only to realize too late that he has doomed his own brother in arms.

In "Mutiny," after Odysseus is stabbed (in his side, I believe), he is tied up and knocked out before the crew sails to the nearest island. Right before he says to get to the boat and row away, he manages to untie himself.

The statue of the sun god in "Mutiny" is depicting Helios, not Apollo. They are two separate gods, and I won't explain further because that's its own post. The cows are Helios's cattle.

Zeus completely destroys Odysseus's ship at the end of "Thunder Bringer", but Odysseus somehow washes up on the island of the goddess Calypso. She immediately falls in love with him and traps him there with her for seven years until Hermes, at the command of Zeus, informs her she must release him (though this confrontation isn't depicted in Epic, only mentioned). In The Odyssey, Odysseus sleeps with Calypso (unwillingly, mind you), but this part seems to have been cut out of Epic.

There is a seven-year time skip between "Thunder Bringer" and "Legendary." Telemachus is around 20 years old at this point. The suitors have only been in the palace for around 3 to 4 years.

In the "Legendary" animatic that depicts Telemachus growing up over time, a dog is shown walking alongside him. This is Argos, Odysseus's hunting dog, and it is the only time he's depicted in Epic. In The Odyssey, Odysseus sees Argos lying in a pile of manure outside his palace. He has been severely neglected over his owner's 20-year absence, unable to walk and covered in ticks. Upon hearing Odysseus's voice, Argos wags his tail, although he can't stand and go greet him. Odysseus, in disguise as a beggar, can't greet his dog and risk revealing himself, but he does cry a bit before he enters the palace. Argos then dies. (I cried while typing this)

The gods' powers in "God Games" are explained here. Athena is seemingly killed at the end of the song by Zeus. A lot happens in this song, so I'd recommend watching the animatics.

Charybdis is a monster opposite of Scylla in the same strait of water. She is a monster that remains beneath the waves, gulping up water three times a day to create intense whirlpools that kill anything and anyone that gets caught in its current. In Epic, Odysseus essentially maneuvers within the whirlpool by surfing on his raft until she inevitably has to spit the water back out.

In "Six Hundred Strike", Odysseus manages to reach the wind bag just before he drowns. He straps it to his back and opens it, using it like a jet pack and having a mid-air anime-style battle with Poseidon where he, powered by the souls of his dead crew, strikes Poseidon 600 times in quick succession (absolutely none of that was hyperbole). His eyes are now glowing red, and they will be this way until The Ithaca Saga (they're always red from now on, but they eventually stop glowing). They both land on a small rocky island, where Odysseus proceeds to pick up Poseidon's trident and repeatedly stab him until he stops the storm.

That wet sound in "Six Hundred Strike" is a trident being stabbed through Poseidon's throat, not kissing noises.

A lot of people (including myself for a while) get confused about the “shoot through 12 axe-heads cleanly” bit in "The Challenge". It's possible that the suitors were meant to shoot an arrow either through (1) the holes that the axe handles would go through or (2) a hole through the middle of the axe-heads - honestly I'm unsure at this point. If they were double-headed axes that were lodged in place in a straight line, the holes would align and could theoretically be shot through.

The part with the axe-heads honestly doesn't matter because Penelope knew the suitors wouldn't even get that far - Odysseus's bow was a particular type of bow, referred to in The Odyssey as palintonos (translating to "bent," I believe). It's mostly speculation because Homer wasn't super descriptive about it, but here is an article detailing the bow and how it would be used. Needless to say, not only would it have required immense strength to string and draw it, but the suitors likely wouldn't even know how to in the first place - which is exactly what is depicted in the animatic at the beginning of "Hold Them Down".

At the end of "Hold Them Down", Odysseus shoots an arrow into Antinous's throat and kills him. It's assumed that Odysseus has been in the palace the entire time (at least for the duration of this song), and none of the suitors noticed him stringing his bow without any trouble as they started getting increasingly rowdier.

At this point, you may be wondering why in the world no one just kicked the suitors out before it got to this point. For that, I ask you to research the Greek concept of xenia - there are many posts explaining this in relation to Epic as well. Basically, Greek hospitality rules prevented Penelope from simply kicking the suitors out. It was only once they threatened to kill Telemachus and sexually assault Penelope that Odysseus got the all-clear to deal with them himself without violating xenia.

There are 108 suitors in total, though only a fraction of them have singing lines and only a few are named in the lyrics. The first is Eurymachus ('Old king, our leader is dead...'), who in The Odyssey was second to Antinous and was very much an asshole. He is accurately depicted here as being a manipulative liar. The second is Amphinomus ('Damn, he's more cunning than I assumed...'), who is actually a fairly decent guy in The Odyssey. Odysseus warned him to stay away from the castle that day, but Athena urged him to stay and he was killed. Lastly, there is Melanthius (the one that encourages the capture of Telemachus) who is actually Odysseus's goatherd but was seemingly rewritten to be a suitor in Epic. In The Odyssey, he's a disloyal asshole that is so accommodating to the suitors that they let him hang out with them.

Odysseus first stabs Melanthius from behind, then beheads him right after he says 'this will be your fate'. This may seem pretty brutal (or ruthless, you could say), but I guarantee you it was far, far worse in The Odyssey! :)

At the end of one of the animatics for "I Can't Help But Wonder", when Athena says the line "very well," she turns her head to reveal that the right side of her face is scarred, and she appears to now be blind in that eye. The shape of the scar pretty much confirms that this is a result of what happened at the end of "God Games."

Penelope's request for Odysseus to move their wedding bed in "Would You Fall in Love With Me Again" is both a test and a way of circumventing Odysseus's identity crisis. It's first a test to confirm that this man is, in fact, her husband and not an imposter - only her husband would know that moving the bed is impossible because it's built into a literal tree. This request also serves to convince Odysseus that Penelope still sees him as her husband - only her husband would know that, therefore Odysseus must be her husband.

Fun Facts

Circe is voiced by Jay's girlfriend, Talya Sindel. They met when she was cast as Circe and began dating a bit later. They are horrifically cute together.

When Poseidon kills off most of Odysseus' crew in "Ruthlessness," he says that there are only 43 men left. But in "The Underworld," the souls of his crew say that 558 men died under his command. Considering Odysseus started off with 600 men ("Full Speed Ahead"), this math doesn't add up. This is because in The Odyssey, when Odysseus and his men party with Circe for a year, a man in his crew named Elpenor woke up drunk on Circe's roof and proceeded to walk off the roof and die from the fall. He actually has a cut song.

Jay messed up the amount of years in "There Are Other Ways" - it had only been 10 years, not 12. This mistake is referenced in "Different Beast" with the line "We've been away from home for / about 12 years or so."

All of Jay's family play characters in Epic - his mother plays Odysseus's mother (Anticlea), his father plays Hephaestus (because he helped Jay build his sound booth/recording studio), and his sister plays the Princess Winion in "Dangerous"!

If you see people commenting "rawr rawr rawr" or "🦖" on Jay's videos, they're referencing his April Fool's prank before the release of The Underworld Saga.

[disarmd]

Some questions for In Absentia because I'm already obsessed with it. Feel free to wait to answer these until you've posted all of it <3

5: What part was hardest to write?

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

(for the fic asks game) thanks for the questions about in absentia, nonnie! i did wait until i'd posted the whole thing... and then a bit longer, haha, sorry about that.

5: What part was hardest to write?

honestly, none of this was hard to write, i truly had such a good time with it, but the most difficult part was just when i was like more than half way through and needed to decide the sequencing of scenes. i wrote this non chronologically, just like always, which was particularly non chronological because of the "slice of life" structure to the story. the bit specifically that i spent the most time thinking of was mclaren manner & lando finding out he'd go back to be resold if daniel died + the reveal about lando's successful business + lando initiating sex/'earning it' + them going to the bank. basically the whole last chapter, hahaha. i just had to spend a lot of time thinking about the various axes of their relationship, like the balance of power, with lando establishing legitimate power from his financial acumen, the developing relational power he had as daniel slowly started acknowledging to himself that it mattered for lando to like him, but then also like how much time was passing for the accumulation of coin, and then also the pacing in what was ultimately just my horny january emotional support chastity belt fic.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

like, to me, no. i know other people had said they wanted more of a lando empowerment revenge arc (although, honestly, they said that before they read the actual story, and i'd be curious if they ended up satisfied by what i did, because in a really fucked up and twisted way, that sort of was what the story was). i think the only alternative is the one where i truly did spend six months writing it and the story was even longer.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

i mean, unfortunately, i did learn that this is the ultimate for me. like i'm writing a sex scene in another story and i'm just like. meh. no one even has a pussy and has been wearing a chastity belt, just another day in the mines doing my drudgery. but yeah, i just obviously had so much fun with this one and really enjoyed spending time with lando and daniel. i mean, i think that's pretty obvious - i've never drip fed you guys fic before; that's how obsessed i was with getting to draw out the experience.

also, i did realize only once i was most of the way through, that i was sort of, by only the loosest possible definition of the term, writing a story that was, though extraordinarily inaccurate, set in a period-y time, and previously i had said many times that i was not capable of writing that. so many years ago, i tried to do handwavey "the live in a castle" stories, and i just didn't go well. but i think this went fine! i might have talked myself out of it if i had realized sooner, so i'm glad i just went into it so distracted by everything else that i didn't realize until i was almost done (i think the moment was when i was writing the bank scene and i was like, oh, fuck, do i need to do a wikipedia to see when bonds were invented? no. i will simply add the word "king") (also what was that information going to give me anyway, I literally had no specific time period in mind.) so i now feel more empowered to handwave my way through things i would have previously avoided. only if it was worth it. specifically if there was a chastity belt.

[kerubimcrepin]

Exploring dofus-le-film.com and talking about movie-related events. [PART 1]

This will not go into the goldmine that is the interview Tot and Xa give about Joris. This is just a little, self-indulgent post. I hope you will enjoy it nevertheless.

The first silly action I took was extracting the site's icon and enlarging it in Aseprite, so here's your daily dose of cute official Joris pixel art. Anyway.

I love how the movie blurb literally lies about Khan being Joris's life-long idol.

CHARACTER BIOS.

Most of them include the information we already know, so I will only be pointing out things I personally find interesting.

For example - this art here depicts Joris's bald head under the hood as very round. Very useful info for us joris enjoyers. Reblog to slap his bald head, like to slap his bald head.

(Hacks up blood) Deeply caring in nature... papa poule... It is the second time, when Kerubim is called that, in his character bios, and I would like you to remember are these different explanations of this word combo:

I'm insane. I love him a lot.

Bakara is a pleasure to have in class :)

Anyway, I love how non-specific and non-alarming these character bios are. We can't scare the hoes by saying that beneath her cool exterior she wants to kill people around her and also drink 20 gallons of vodka, so "shy and stuck up" it shall be.

Again, it's hilarious how non-threatening these character bios are, considering Lilotte's whole parent thing is basically: (substitute "women" with "kids with families")

Coloring pages + Crayon Contest

A part of me wanted to be "haha, I colored all these coloring pages, for the Full Understanding of The Experience of this movie."

Then I realized that, as a person who is making a Joris painted music video, and had drawn at least 1:07 minutes worth of artwork of him and some other characters of this movie, I would rather-- [remembers that suicide jokes are bad] take cactus for a wife, than draw him for this blog too. I'm sorry.

Not much to be said about the contest, though this is epic:

This little Joris can be found at the bottom of the "win some crayons" page. It's cute.

BLOGPOSTS

This image was drawn for MIFA.

I want to unpack what is occurring here:

Goultard is holding his dragon boyfriend rather gayly on the shoulder. Interesting.

One of the candles landed in Nox's face?

Atcham, Joris, and Lilotte were holding the cake together. Lilotte is sitting on Yugo's shoulder, while Joris is standing on Kerubim's arms. It is reasonable to assume that Yugo turned to the camera, which made Lilotte turn as well, which made Atcham fall, which made Kerubim step away, and the only people carrying the cake who are still even a bit happy are Joris and Yugo.

Adamai is getting ready to catch Joris when in like 5 seconds all of them are going to be tumblring down Atcham-style.

Incredible. But this illustration is not the only gem that Annecy has brought us!

It also brought us more of Atcham being cool and awesome.

I'm insane.

There's more rare art here: these t-shirts featuring designs from a fan contest.

They were made in limited numbers. I'm including them here because we don't exactly have copies of the artwork, and I am insane about preserving art. It might be somewhere — but that somewhere is probably 2016 french facebook, so as far as I'm concerned, trying to seek these out is a lost cause.

Exclusive Merch

There were playing cards, and I am happy to report we DO have artwork for them in HD:

And also, here's a slightly higher definition little game sprite esque Joris:

This is the future crepinjurgenites want.

Kerubim VS Atcham Rigged Pet Contest

I am sad to report that Atchamheads have lost again, in this rigged contest. Imagine asking:

Would you like a fluffy guy you have watched an entire series about, or this bald guy who appears twice in the franchise?

At the very least, this gives us a canonical kitten Atcham design.

(Also, both of them were added, jsyk... Still salty though.)

Maliki Art

Maliki is a webcomic not made by Ankama, but with a long relationship and connection to Ankama due to being published by them in the past.

It's cute, really.

[wumblr]

Armed conflicts have indirect health implications beyond the direct harm from violence. Even if the conflict ends immediately, there will continue to be many indirect deaths in the coming months and years from causes such as reproductive, communicable, and non-communicable diseases. The total death toll is expected to be large given the intensity of this conflict; destroyed health-care infrastructure; severe shortages of food, water, and shelter; the population's inability to flee to safe places; and the loss of funding to UNRWA, one of the very few humanitarian organisations still active in the Gaza Strip. In recent conflicts, such indirect deaths range from three to 15 times the number of direct deaths. Applying a conservative estimate of four indirect deaths per one direct death to the 37 396 deaths reported, it is not implausible to estimate that up to 186 000 or even more deaths could be attributable to the current conflict in Gaza. Using the 2022 Gaza Strip population estimate of 2 375 259, this would translate to 7.9% of the total population in the Gaza Strip.

i've seen maybe a dozen posts about this but none directly linking to the lancet study, explaining their methodology, or acknowledging that they specified a range: 3-15 times the death toll published by the gaza ministry of health

the 186,000 figure is a conservative estimate (and it should be 187,000 because 5 * 37,396 is 186,980)

the range is 112,000 to 561,000

there's the 7.9% estimate, which would represent about 1,270 deaths per day since the approximate end of published data (march, unless the health ministry has issued information i don't know about)

this is compared to covid death toll in the US because i believe we're all familiar with the way 0.36% population loss translates to "just about everyone knows at least one person who died" (i knew multiple, but let's oversimplify to assume 0.36% means everybody knew exactly one, for comparative purposes)

to put gaza's numbers in the same perspective, just about everyone who has survived this far must have known maybe 22 people who died (the true statistics of how people know each other, and how likely relationships are between them, are obviously much more complicated, but 7.9% is 22 times 0.36%)

here's the upper range of the estimate (561,000, 23.6%, 4,830 deaths per day, or every survivor likely knew 65 people who died). sorry for the clumsy graph, error bars were the quickest way to represent this

for what it's worth, i think they are correct to describe the "conservative" 5x estimate as "not implausible"

for the available data, daily totals only surpassed 500/day once (oct 17th), and the available numbers put them closer to 100-200 per day over the ten months of the war. extrapolating that to today would give closer to 60,000 deaths -- but these only count direct deaths, and largely identified bodies that have been found (30% unidentified, according to the lancet)

what i think is likeliest, is of course, that the rate of death has been steaily accelerating as famine and disease take their toll (as in, the daily number of deaths increases from 100-500 to 1,000-4,000 over the past 100 days, with some of these also being previously unrecorded, unknown, undiscovered bodies during the term of known data)

so, 60,000 is about the rock-bottom minimum for direct deaths, 112,000 is the rock-bottom minimum when including estimates for indirect deaths. the plausible maximum for both direct and indirect deaths based on similar conflicts is 561,000 and the reasonable estimate is 187,000

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen, i just followed you and this is really random but ive seen some of your posts helping younger people and it really struck a cord and i need to just let the words fall out of me.

ive been having issues with my girlfriend she cheated on me but this situation is very complicated and we're both fucked up people but i know she still loves me and i really love her. but my anxiety and our lack of communication is really bad right now and im so worried she might not love me the same anymore

ontop of this im 18 and for the past id say 5ish years my mental health and family life has been getting worse, getting diagnosis is hard especially with mentally ill and just overall bad parents that somehow dont understand or believe. i know im deppresed and have been i have anxiety, sever paranoia maybe bpd and bipolar and autism and everything is just so much. now the one person i had is something thats making everything hurt more and i just don't know where to go, im trying to get help but its so slow in this country and i feel so lost and tired i barely eat now and when i do its ether rare or unhealthy and everything is so much i want to collapse.

i hope this isn't to much to randomly send anonymously but you just seem really kind and helpful. thank u for your reply if you do

HI and please accept my apologies for the delay on answering this. I am sorry you are going through so much. My kids are adopted from foster care and I had many kids in my home for up to 5 years who eventually went back home. That is to say I have a lot of experience with mental illness, the systems that treat them, trauma and kids who came from unstable home lives.

At the ripe old age of 18 you have plenty of time to find love and contentment but right now might not be the time. I understand there might be odd circumstances that caused your girlfriend to cheat on you. If you feel betrayed and lost trust that is a feeling that is next to impossible to overcome for people with no comorbidities let alone a teen trying to figure herself out and deal with navigating the broken mental health/care system.

It is actually quite normal for young love to change and get redefined into friendship even when the circumstance are the best. Her cheating on you might very well be a sign that your relationship is in flux and not what you thought it was. A romance that has run its course is not a failure, relationships do not have to last forever to be important and real and worth having had.

It might be scary to think of not being with her, of not having your "one" person that you can count on but I do believe you can get farther working on yourself if you put time and energy into you and not dividing it up between you and her.

There is a lot of precedent set for women to set aside their romance and intimacy in order to be just friends while one or both does some work on herself. Sometimes it is necessary to stay involved for emotional support or financial support, that is just the reality of our world. Living single can be very difficult.

Please consider letting go of the relationship in its current form and putting your energy of yourself. Letting go of the stress of trying to repair what you had with her will remove so much pressure from you and from her that you will feel much more ready to tackle your mental state.

I promise. You are not a failure, she is not "the bad guy" in this story. Take all the wonderful things you shared with her keep those with you when you want a reminder that it loving her was worth your time even if it didn't end like you planned.

Seek mental health help but starting small. A therapist can help you begin to talk through things and often she can help you find additional resources like a medical Dr, public subsidies for insurance or free clinics to assist you in getting medication and mental health support. Most counties have a social services office and those employees are a wealth of information.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Do you think if idia tries to meet the RSA ortho, it will result in the dreamworld's destruction?

I havent watched the newest update and just read descriptive posts so sorry if i'm misinterpreting stuff, but the dreams that malleus has created seem to operate based upon the dreamers memories, its just an altered version of events..so while he can create this information that Ortho is well and alive, Can he actually show Idia a believable teenager Ortho?because Idia doesn't have such memories, so making up RSA ortho's personality and mannerism might be were he messes up.like sure it might not be hard to create a teenager's voice and face , based on informations that we have of them fom when they were 5..but an actual personality??could this be the actual reason behind Ortho attending RSA instead of NRC in dreamworld?Like wouldnt the most ideal and dreamlike situation for Idia be going to the same school with his brother?but maybe malleus knows of the dreamworlds limitations so he had to come up with something..idk...maybe i'm just reading too much into it😭😭

[I gave my own initial reactions, thoughts, and a plot overview on book 7, part 3 in this post!]

Mmm, I do think that the dreams are made from the dreamer’s memories, but that’s only natural given that memories make up who the characters are and form the basis for their understanding of reality. I don’t think that’s the full extent of their dream worlds. There’s also a clear wish fulfillment aspect of it, and that, tied with the memories, forms kind of an “ideal” situation where the world literally exists and alters the circumstances to suit an individual’s wishes and whims. So… rather than “it’s just an altered version of events”, it’s more like the dream actively knows what the dreamer wants to see and then provides it for them.

For example, Idia’s dream is technically based on a memory of attending the NRC entrance ceremony. However, he also has a deep-seated desire to see Ortho survive and grow up, instead of perishing as a young child for a mistake he feels a lot of guilt and personal responsibility for. That would be Idia’s happiness, so the dream world centers around catering to it.

I actually don’t know at this point whether or not Malleus is actively controlling the details of every dream world. To me, it feels like he couldn’t possibly be doing that since he’s always described as lonely, hard to approach, and standoffish; when would he have had the time to get to know all of these intimate details about all of the people on Sage’s Island that he has in a magical slumber? (Like… would Idia share something so deeply traumatizing with Malleus??? The post-OB flashbacks don’t count, as we’re never fully sure who in the main cast views this information or if it’s just an internal dialogue the OB boy has with himself. Even if the other students knew, Malleus was not present when Idia woke up from his OB to be told his backstory.) And how is Malleus simultaneously monitoring and controlling all aspects of everyone’s dreams? Monitoring alone, maybe. But being the metaphorical “God” behind an entire island population’s worth of dreamers??? I don’t know if I entirely buy that, even if it’s Malleus Draconia we’re talking about.

I think that, even if there is no actual reference for what a grown up RSA-attending Ortho is like, the dream world and its residents would just shift and fill in the gaps according to the dreamer’s expectations. After all, the dream itself is constructed from Idia’s wants, his very point of view. We are not only seeing things from how Idia wants them to be, but we are also seeing this version of Ortho through Idia’s eyes. This Ortho is a creation manifested from how Idia wishes Ortho had the chance to be, based on Idia’s perception of the kind of person Ortho was and what he hoped Ortho would become.

The dream could easily extract information from Idia’s head and work with that to make a passable Ortho. In fact, it could also work from memories of robo!Ortho, since originally robo!Ortho had all the memories and experiences OG!Ortho had. Robo!Ortho started as very robotic and learned to be more human-like thanks to his advanced artificial intelligence program. He was even acknowledged as Idia’s brother and as a freshman student of Night Raven College. Robo!Ortho has been through so much growth beginning with the same memories of the original that passed—almost as though he were a real boy growing up. So knowing that, what’s to say the dream doesn’t use robo!Ortho as a basis for dream!Ortho’s character? It already seems to me that the dream is doing that, since dream!Ortho and robo!Ortho’s personalities are very similar. They’re chipper and supportive of Idia—just like Idia has always perceived Ortho to be in reality.

I was surprised to hear that dream!Ortho attends RSA instead of NRC, but thinking about it more, I’m not sure if I would attribute this to dream world limitations if we’re going with the idea that Malleus is controlling every dream. (It overcomplicates things if he has to come up with individualized reasonings to conveniently write out characters which may have no real life basis to work with, but I digress.) My thought is that Idia, the dreamer, is the one who thinks Ortho is best fit for RSA, or, alternatively, he wants Ortho to attend RSA and not NRC.

This circles back to the residual guilt that he feels about causing Ortho’s death. Maybe Idia (on a subconscious level) feels as though it’s better for Ortho to spend time away from him, who put him in danger in the first place. Maybe he thinks of his personality as a wet towel over Ortho’s sunshiney one and doesn’t want to be the so-called “bad influence”. Maybe Idia genuinely feels that Ortho would fit in with the nice, almost sparkling Royal Sword Academy kids. Maybe Idia knows the students of NRC are trouble and that he’d rather have Ortho fostered and growing up among more amicable peers. (Think about it, how many times have we seen Idia freak out over Ortho’s safety during his time at NRC?) All of these ideas basically amount to the possibility that Idia wishes Ortho to be his best self and to live his best life, even if that comes with the stipulation of not being able to be with him all the time.

Additionally, recall that Idia in the real world is socially anxious to the point where he usually refuses to go anywhere without his emotional support robot brother. In the dream world, it’s an alternate universe in which Ortho never died, and thus Idia isn’t consumed by remorse, and is less socially anxious (Idia physically attends the opening ceremony in the dream, but in reality he was only present via his tablet). This implies that, in the dream world, Idia does not have that attachment issue with Ortho and feels comfortable with knowing that Ortho can be on the other side of Sage’s Island and still be totally fine without him. This also opens up Idia to actually interact with his own peers on his own terms, without needing Ortho to encourage him—and companionship, as much as Idia shits on normies, is definitely something he craves (as we see at the end of book 6 when he’s gaming with everyone). I think that this makes sense for him!

Being that this is book 7, we should expect Idia to “wake” at some point and join the others that have “woken up” to help save the day. We already notice that Idia is pointing out little discrepancies in his dream! But what I’m really wondering is what will be the impetus that “shocks” him awake???? Because truth be told, it’s extremely difficult to walk away from something you’ve wished so much for: the return of your deceased sibling—however, it’s also fitting and a good way to round out Idia’s character growth from the last book. In consciously choosing to reject the dream, Idia will have finally accepted Ortho’s death and be able to truly “move on” 😭 I don’t know that it would be meeting dream!Ortho that does the trick though, that would be feeding into his wishes and encouraging him to indulge more. That’s hard to break away from—and even Silver, who was already awake in Sebek’s dream, sounded conflicted when he rejected dream!Lilia’s offer to stay with him forever.

This is a shot in the dark, but we don’t yet know the mechanics of how dream!characters work when the real!character shows up in the same space. Like, in Sebek’s dream, he seemed to be looking for Silver. Was there no dream!Silver his mind made for him to interact with? Or did dream!Silver vanish as soon as real!Silver dreamhopped into Sebek’s dream world… Or will two the Silvers meet randomly and recreate that Spidermen pointing at each other meme???? My point is (and this is a big stretch so bear with me here), what if robo!Ortho finds some way to enter Idia’s dream at the same time that dream!Ortho is also present??? So suddenly there’s two Orthos and Idia has to make the ultimate decision between living a pretty lie with dream!Ortho or accepting the ugly truth by going with robo!Ortho to fight Malleus or something 💀 Probably not going to happen, but it’s an interesting scenario to think about!

[norbezjones]

24 Days of Gift-Giving: Ten Titles

(This is December 10th’s prompt!  Posting yesterday’s & today’s later!)

Happy December, everyone!

So, @creativepromptsforwriting is doing a writing thing called “24 Days of Gift-Giving” where each day of December has a prompt, so I figured it would be fun to write something up for each prompt!  Feel free to participate too, if you’d like!  It could be a fun writing game!

Like usual, I will be doing these for the characters of my story Romance The Backrooms, a liminal space otome with 5 main love interests. 

Today’s Prompt: Ten Titles (… creative titles for your next story); Burying our memories

Characters: Uri & Manorial

Other Info: URI ANGST URI ANGST URI ANGST!  If you don’t know about Uri & Manorial, here’s the basic gist: Manorial is an entity known as a Memory Collector, who attaches to people and trades near-unlimited power in exchange for memories. 

__________

When possible, Uri tried to sacrifice insignificant memories.  What he ate for breakfast the other day.  Things he thought about when he was bored.  Stuff like that.

But sometimes, Manorial wanted more.  “Sorry, idle thoughts like that aren’t going to cut it for me, Uri,” the cat would purr with a laugh.  “If you want my help, I need something more . . . substantial.”

So, he would give memories that were more significant, trying to keep the others informed on what memory he was sacrificing.  If he was lucky, it was something one of the others in the group was there for, and they could fill him in on what had happened later.  Bring back the memory through their own experiences.

But other times, Manorial would ask for a memory only he & Uri was there for.  Something nobody else had witnessed, and therefore, nobody else could bring back for him. 

And Uri would give the memory.  What choice did he have?  Burying a memory in exchange for power—surely, it had to be worth it.

Right?

@creativepromptfills

[minecraft-fanfiction-house]

Take a bite out of my sight

Chapter 2 "Laminated Bell"

Part 1 ±

--

CottagedBeastInMe “Post”

Hi, I’m Llamari a (24) Witch Jewler apprentice, who lives in a mountain village. For the past few weeks I'd had a commission to work with an eye, which is pretty uncommon Usually, people who herd goats would commission me for it and give them away in gifts or hold onto it for the memory(since most get them in portraits with pictures of their goat).

Lamination takes 22-77 for the lamination and checking on the eye. I work on it 2 hours a day after 12 PM (after church), and after 5 with the coven guild because I just love being told I might be doing something wrong. Eh :P I don't, but I'm not bothered by it their nice when they're not criticizing you I promise :[]

An errand-ger with some dirt stains and a donkey came by, and I never bit my tongue for someone more than when a coven elder insulted that their donkey was not worth laminating an eye for an eye.

The coven I works closely with jewelry and potions, using gems as a power source rather than with lightning. I'm an apprentice on the jewelry side I usually help out with the jewelry craftsmanship. So I thought the merchant must've mistaken ours for being the doctor's coven because of our similar builds being two than one coven on the hillside, and having the same silhouette through the window(But I'm also guessing due to my set-up with working with eyeballs and rabbits eye for some lunch made it a good assumption). Though they'd informed me that they needed to restock in potions, I think since the  Villager was told to find the other coven here, for spare healing potions.

They chatted with me as one of the coven heads got a spare potion from their office. 

It was quieter and so was the cricket I thought I'd id be complaining about my work. But no.. No.

They peeked over my shoulder, like everyone does to see what im working on. Their donkey is inside resting on the hardwood ground. And they so politely ask.

“Is this from the vindicator that left, after their eyes were spooned out?”

It had a glowing hue, that was what was bothering a sweet old lady. Hah, it glowed, the client, GAVE ME THEIR DEATH WISH TO FINNISH-

If a vengeful, kid or parent to whatever illager is at the mansion, is gonna see them and get some movie flashback and burn this village to the ground.

[No I don't know how or any of the details, it's usually something witches in the coven can choose to work with. Kinda feels like treating crystals like pain medication to swallow. i only work with jewelry and tea potions].

–

“Hello, anything I could get for you.” Tomorrow was a lackluster day, with the quietness paving an empty street corner.

A tired sigh left their lips “A Goat pie” 

“Ah sorry, we have a shortage of raspberries.” They shakingly explained, their arms jittering to their collar and counter.

“Oh hey, isn't that the villager that commissioned that eye lamination.”

“No”

“You aren't even lookin inat them, they're wearing those glasses I fixed up”

“I've never seen them with glasses, how would I know?”

“I’m worried about the genetics of you not getting glasses yet.” 

Looking across the table are eyes agreeing. 

“What?”

A witch taking a bite of tiramisu from their satchel of baked goods explained, “You're getting the same age as your parents when they needed glasses.”

Llamari pulled down her hat to her eyes, looking at her phone. With the only response, she gets in a short time.

Good call, she had recognized their clothing. Still wearing the same mountain robe, with dried crimson brown stained by their collar, it had looked like a less messy spill of raspberry. When it came across the thought that it was blood.

The lamination witch assumed it was the goat, even though they'd never seen them go up the mountain that much. 

Most unemployed Villagers aren't always walking up to attempt to get hit by a goat's horn. Maybe she could've asked questions

–

SomeGoldNugget: “Can I use isopropyl, would the alcohol go inside the eyeballs though? Or can I just put them in the jar with the alcohol? I have some rabbits and I'd like to preserve some eyeballs and possibly other parts of the rabbit.”

                                                              CottagedBeastInMe: “I use Formaldehyde, from the nearby medical store. I don’t really know, and I don’t usually eat eyes since I might make it a habit and eat a customer's pet eye Heh ’(T - T)”

Typo: Delete your typo.

CottagedBeastInMe: Too lazy to typ ooo

—

Tiagi oak wood pillar’d across the bar, to keep the roof of wine’n’whisky steady. For the customers empty the stools of the bartender table.

The shopkeeper of the sweet ol bar got up from the bartender's mixer, their back turned away to all the colorful glasses of deep magenta, turquoise, and purple (though some blue glasses were there too like sprinkles). The Shopkeeper tried steadying their breath, staring at the door like it was aimless. 

The door stifled open, and there was nothing much to be cleaned for today.

The packager finally broke away at the door handle. The small window had the sun peeking out of its clouded pillows, their backs glazed in the warm citrusy light, with the two uncomfortable villagers fumbling out. 

The bartenders dusted themselves off and walked off in a huff of tiredness. 

The packager rubbed the corners of their head, snapping the inside of their vest. They stretched their back, ruffling their tired and degrading attire in wrinkles

I suppose the broom closet wasn't as comfy as their boss made it out to be. Albeit, with a lack of enthusiasm and sarcasm.

The door jingled open to a green robe figure, dosed in the sun's orange hue, the patterns were of smaller mountain rocks, and river patterns on the bottom of their robe. 

“You got any crates of booze.” 

“...” Shopkeeper became less disoriented, “Yeah, ya morning drunkards.” The nitwits laughed themselves inside, scraping the wooden stool to sit on closer to the hallway. More duller than the wooden patterns of the bar's interior, the nitwits made themselves welcome.

Shopkeep gazed at one of the Nitwits attire having a tiger on their robe. As jungle villagers never had their nitwits have teeth to drape around their shoulders, no status, unlike the nitwits in the mountainside village. That the shopkeeper knew deeply, with their eyes sinking inside the trivialized glass bucket and its crystal triangular design.

..I suppose the town here has a name... But villagers don’t usually hang up signs. The roads that can only get to the forests right down the taiga forest were lit halfway of the road, just in the middle. Standing on the ledge of the mountain, you can probably see it through those binoculars.

The wind caller drops emeralds on the wandering trader's hands, as an older windcaller yanks their hair to straighten up.

The sun dazed began to cuddle with the clouds, snuggling in its blanket lightyears away.

A carpenter and a weaponsmith sat next to each other. They’d be the last to order drinks before it rains hard. To the relief of the rest of the shopkeepers on this road, the time for closing was soon, and they could bring out priceless decorations.

The jukebox started to play, as the bartender poured wine and beer, the aroma of apples can be smelled by any passing villager outside. Nothing outstanding to them, nothing peculiar. The day is calm in the shopkeeper's mind, leaning on their jukebox. 

Humming to the words of a song heard on a rainy day, “My Lonely Heart” (‘Hot Summer’ by Break Beat)

“Oh lookie here, an iron nose and An iron dumbass walks into a bar.”

A clean librarian joked, taking a chug of whisky with stain’s of whisky in their sleeves.

The taller metal-looking villager looks down. Their lips quivers, as their armour clanks to their slouching. 

They both had Redstone poppy emblems glowing quietly. The other gaurd that entered afterwords, with a small wooden bell bouncing off their armour from their chastel questions the ‘compliment’ and insult

“Isn’t iron-nose a compliment?” The wandering trader pops in-between the average height iron guard and iron-shaped nose gaurd, “It means someone's smell is stifled with blood, here in there.”

“Here n there?” They rolled their wrist, as if it was a vague direction, everywhere .

“Well not this village, maybe, it could just be a shared interpretation with the word.” They jostled their head, moving their fingers to the music, “Rarity, but i quite like it.”

Their were moments to take in for the iron guard, and the middle villager of a doors height, rolled out a scroll.

“Where here from the bell report of sightings of any raid activities, suspicion, and reason for… Leaving.”

The carpenter and weaponsmith were listening, the words couldn't echo against the walls with the music cushion. but the Guard noticed their changed postures. The weaponsmith had taken their face back, and the carpenter leaned to the side. 

The carpenter swirled their cup. They were about to ask something, but awkwardness was a fear. The noise of the stool scratched the floor.

The carpenter was already up. 

Would that even say a lot about the type of observational skill a guard has to hone? 

The shopkeeper left the gaze of the wandering trader to the guard. They walked up to them, their iron on their Chatelaine is humble, with their keys, a religious trinket of a creeper's head inside an old old legend on the design of a spawner with a simple square rotated 90+ degrees(Diamond shape), with a single elongated string of teeths from some canine.

“You might want to stay for a while, the village has had a big scare. Or, such a lousy one.”

They fester a conversation with the guard, nimbly looking up.

“Ah, do you have a storage room for us to sleep in?”

“Hah, you don’t ask for an inn. We do have storage.”

The Emerald eyed Guard, was quite thankful, a small smile behind their nose and in his emerald ore eyes.

The sun was falling, as the guards waited in the bar for more guests to feel safer to loan a message.(Add scene of shopkeeper telling them that)

The Flag-bearing Illager sat by the roots of a winding tree.The sun speared their eyes hitting the iron bucket, with a burnt poppy inside the bucket that illusioned one floating to the side of an invisible flower…

They laid their heads to see a laminated Bells ribbon around a tree, with rings of flowers hanging off the branches, rotting. 

The Illagers eyes meet another, not glowing, or blinking..

The vindicator eye showed the vibrant cold hue of blue dancing with the greenery dark reflections of the forest. Hands in a gentle clench slide to their left cheek, slides behind their nose.

Their hands fall as they look down deeply to the soil and flowers reflecting reds and white petals. You could see the glow in their eyes, as if they were a sea filled with red rose petals and white alyssum. 

They twirl their finger around their neck.

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YES

yay thank you python again