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okay. you know what? no. fork this. fork you. i'm back on my bowl shit

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we are the dreamer who lives inside the dream

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trying to figure out how to unlock purple stars in no man's sky and i know i've made fun of the game for having very thin lore that has almost no impact on gameplay but like. you have to finish talking to the space cathedral and entrap the traveler in a simulation, the one who's lost ouside the universe. you don't have to tell her that you did that. you can. but it will hurt her feelings. even though it was the only thing you can do for her. and i think in order to do both of those things you also have to talk to the robot priest in the anomaly about how the universe is a simulation. whether or not anybody figures out they're in a video game is not specified but my money's on the lizard technician

anyway, have you noticed how everything's covered in slime? and you can refine the slime to create gray goo? which is what the naturally occurring police robots are made of. but sometimes they get corrupted by dissonance. which is purple, right? remember how everybody's been talking about not drinking the water, you know, like, in the logs at crashed freighters? and the space cathedral had you craft a seed as an exosuit module to create a random unnamed star somewhere in the galaxy? reinstall that (+1 core health). and then go to a dissonant system (you can find them in the galaxy map because it says "dissonant" where it usually says "water") and just fly away from everything for a minute and the thing that allows you to create a purple star will find you. this time it is named and you can go to it

unless maybe you already completed all mission objectives before the universe update was downloaded, or possibly due to some kind of bug. you could try to get there using portal addresses but then we have to get into how every galaxy has way more addressed stars than visible stars. who built the portals? don't worry about it! all that matters about portals is they let you go to places you haven't been, while teleporting only allows you to revisit places you have. that's why there's one on every planet, which is also how you know they weren't made by the same mysterious ancient civilization that left ruins on some but not all planets. no not the ruins that are on every planet, those are made by the regular currently existing civilizations. they're clearly labeled. and they have rocks that teach you words. you don't really need to understand what anyone is saying, though. yes the rocks are made of the same material as the portals i said don't worry about it

you can install a mod to display all addressed stars but it makes the galaxy map an unusable mess of pure white. and anyway that probably doesn't make purple stars visible. and gas giants don't occur around normal stars. so finding the thing is the only feasible way to get to a gas giant, which are really cool because you can land on the surface -- hold on. forget all that. let me catch and release 250 fish in shallow water real quick so i can be an old boot. the fish give you gray goo when you release them for some reason. which makes selling sushi to the gas station probably the most overpowered early game grind. because the police are made of currency

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is america bankrupt?

i've been mulling this over for a while now but have you noticed the office of the president is only doing things that occupy preexisting labor-hours or bring in more money? it's all tariffs and deregulation. no spending. how curious. i think they might be out of cash on hand

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i've been mulling this over for a while now but have you noticed the office of the president is only doing things that occupy preexisting labor-hours or bring in more money? it's all tariffs and deregulation. no spending. how curious. i think they might be out of cash on hand

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the reason i'm so angry is because my mother thought her cosmic purpose was to undertake a parenting challenge where she did everything that idiots say will make your children gay and then produce heterosexuals despite it all. because she was mormon, she correlated this project with admission to heaven. when it predictably blew up in her face, she got so upset that she turned to far right extremism and contributed significantly to a pilot program that became the problems we have today, because this only could have happened due to the wickedness of the world having such an outsized influence that it overrode all her best efforts

she turned to extremism because she couldn't accept the presumed failure of my becoming my own person. when faced with these facts she retreated into a shell and became a husk of herself -- having once had strong convictions and fierce analytical capability, which all summarily evaporated as soon as she had to take responsibility for her actions -- and, while she did half-ass several apologies, it was always "i didn't know what i was doing" "i was manipulated by other people" "can't you get over it" "is it really that big of a deal" and well it's been easily twenty years since this came to a head and she died ten months ago. and i'm still angry in a way i suspect will never leave me. if i had to let go of it i wouldn't really know who i am

i've been carrying this simmering directionless fury my whole life and trying to paste a sweet and gentle demeanor over the top of it and it shows, eventually surfacing to damage every interpersonal interaction i have and ultimately my career prospects too, leaving me largely isolated in poverty, exactly the result her far right extremists wanted, despite all the effort i took to divert its course and despite how much we both, although toxically and clumsily, loved each other. i find it impossible to forgive even though i know it does nothing but continue to harm me, and self-destructively i don't care because it was always a foregone lost cause, wasn't it

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there really is not another album like this

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majority of this analysis is sound but the implication that china is in the imperial periphery is really something

96% of chinese people are homeowners. i've paid $170,000 rent since 2007

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96% of chinese people are homeowners. i've paid $170,000 rent since 2007

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why is the frangelico bottle lowkey giving mrs butterworth

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why is the frangelico bottle lowkey giving mrs butterworth

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why is the frangelico bottle lowkey giving mrs butterworth

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it's alexander hornedsphere friday !

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curious how there are many pop songs lately where fast food is a metaphor for sex. and yet nobody is writing about buying escargot at the thermopolia of ancient rome as a metaphor for sex. 🧐

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gay little thought experiment

an ahistorical, acontextual alien comes to earth, who has no context for human history or human art. but you're a bit of a fucker. so you decide "by presenting a false, myopic impression of art and history, i am going to gaslight this alien into believing that banjo kazooie: nuts and bolts is the pinnacle of human achievement". how do you do it

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