#someone rant to me cause i need to talk to people lol

[aninipanin1]

I think that Anri begs adult manager! reader to force Ego to eat an actual meal that isn’t those instant noodles

EW, VEGETABLES...?

Notes: I actually love this so much, anon lol

"Good morning, Anri-san. How may I help you today?"

You greeted your fellow female manager, figure hunched over the washing machine, scrubbing the white linen sheets from the many rooms around the facility, especially the one that legit had an oyster sauce spill, leaving a spot darkened.

Anri gave her a large smile, one that is familiar, at first before her, she reached some sort of 'Eureka' moment, and her smile turned into one of disappointment she did not think of it earlier along with a hint of mischief in it.

"Actually, can you help me with something, Y/n?"

"Oh, of course! What do I do?"

The redhaired manager motioned for her to come closer, to which she followed. Cupping her hand around your ear, Anri whispered the 'task' she wanted you to do.

As she spoke, the wider your eyes became. How will you even pull this off?

"But, Anri-san..! You know how much he loves his noodles...and how he doesn't really like me."

You always thought that Ego Jinpachi, the head and director of the Blue Lock facility, never seemed to like you. He wasn't rude to you (you think because he talked to you the way he did to everyone else), but you can definitely see that he would go out of his way to avoid talking to you, approaching you or anything related to talking with you alone without Anri, unless it was something prefessional and work-related.

He also always scolds you. You know, it was just because of the betterment of the project. But why did he have to scold you for just being around Noel Noa or any of the master strikers? They were the ones handling the improvement of the boys. Of course, you need to be around them! Well, it was one of the many things you noticed, but you digressed. After all, you know you cannot please everyone, especially in a workplace environment.

So, you were a little shocked when Anri tilted her head at you, confused about your claim.

"Ego-san...doesn't like you?"

"Um, isn't it obvious, Anri-san? He doesn't really like talking to me at all, and when you aren't there with us, he will always avoid talking to me even if I try to make casual conversations! Also, he always scolds me for the stupidest reasons! Why does he get mad when I talk to Noa-san, Snuffy-san, Prince-san, or even Lavinho-san, I will never understand! It's my job to make sure that the boys are doing well and I can only make sure of that through the master strikers!"

You did not know when you started ranting, but you did. Anri, who listened to you with open ears, could not help but chuckle on the inside. She felt quite amused and also disappointed at Ego. But, she cannot say she was not surprised. Ego was one, if not the most emotionally constipated person she had ever met. It was not a surprise that he would try to avoid you.

But, why did he have to do all those things? It wasn't helping his cause at all!

'You better thank me for what I am doing, Ego-san.'

"Ego-san! Um..."

You stood there in the office where the said man was watching the many screens, watching over the progress of the players who were all training in their own ways. In your hands was a tray filled with sautéed vegetables, a bowl of rice, and some chicken in a bowl you cooked just for the man.

Even if you think he hates you, you can not just ignore someone who is literally putting their life in danger because they don't want to eat healthy things. You aren't messed up like that!

But, you did not know how to approach this, much less him. How will you even ask him to do this, much less with the strained relationship you two had? This was a really bad idea! Why did Anri have to approach you of all people for this-

"What is it?"

He turned his swivel chair to face you, his eyes a bit lidded to show that he was not that happy for being interrupted.

"I made some extra food, and uh...I thought you may want to have it."

'That's so stupid, Y/n!'

He raised an eyebrow at this, and it did not help that the look on his face showed that he did not approve of eating the pallate on the tray.

"Y/n-chan, you know I don't eat those things."

"I know...! I just didn't want to waste it. Anri-san said she already ate so..."

Ego did not say anything, turning his swivel chair to face the screens again. Just as you were about to give up and leave the room thinking that he would not accept the food at all, he raised his arm and pointed to an empty space on the desk.

"Put it there. Don't blame me if I don't eat it and it becomes rotten."

Blinking at his words, you just nodded your head, a bit dazed that he actually considered even being near the food. You did as he told before bowing and leaving to do your other chores and duties.

Needless to say, when Anri entered Ego's office, she was shocked to see the man munching on a bowl of rice with chicken and vegetables on top. His eyes were still focused on the screen, back hunched in a weird position, but he was indeed eating.

"Did Y/n pass by here..?"

"She did. Dropped this...abomination and her paperwork."

Ego answered, pointing to the food that he called 'abomination,' yet he was still eating the food, cheeks round with food. Anri nodded, yet it was obvious she did not believe the disgusted look in his face to which he only glared at her for.

"You're the one who said it. The facility should not waste food." He pointed his chopstick at her.

"Yeah, yeah. It's totally not because you favour her, definitely not." Anri shrugged, a cheeky smile as she headed out the room once she dropped the paperwork.

'I'm surrounded by simps, haahh...' She inwardly sighed.

ADDITIONAL TIME!

Anri: You like her.

Ego: No, I don't.

Also Ego: *proceeds to hoard every single thing Y/n gave him, yes, even if it was the inkless pen she passed to him to throw in the trash.*

I'm sorry if this was too short, hahaha. I didn't really know how to go deeper into this. But I hope you loved this!

Blue Lock is WRITTEN by Kaneshiro Muneyuki and ILLUSTRATED by Nomura Yusuke. All credits to the both of them.

[sapphireplums]

CHEESE ON FUCKING CRACKERS. NO WAY THATS HOW OBX 4 ENDED????

mini rant below

like rafe and sofia??? THEY BETTER BE ENDGAME. i was so happy they got engaged but like… damn

and jj??? nope nope he’s very alive and surfing in yucatán

I NEED KIE TO GO INTO HER REVENGE ERA

[propertyofwicked]

WAS IT REAL? - LN

lando is at risk of losing his job if he doesn't clean up his image, and his best friend needs a way of travelling the world. they come up with a flawless plan - which could not possibly go wrong, right?

based on this request! (i went a little overboard im sorry) ✧ my inbox is open! ✧

warnings - fluff, angst, small allusion to smut at the end - fake dating to lovers hehe. also, 5k words??? who am i?? (writen BEFORE the miami gp!! i needed a few days to recover lol)

the song inspo for this got removed from spotify but it is based on "was it real" by ben rodrigues <3

masterlist the playlist

✧ tell me was it real...

...or was it just pretend? ✧

“and now i’ve had zak sit me down and essentially said ‘we don’t hire slags’”

“he said that your recent behaviour was causing concern for mclarens image - not that you were a slag, lan.”

“same thing,” he argued, ”i’m 24 for gods sake, if i want to speak to women in a nightclub that shouldn’t be any of zak’s business.”

“i think it became his business when someone filmed you, in your mclaren, having what im sure was a lovely conversation with the girl sat on your lap,” she teased back, emphasising her words slightly. he huffed at, crossing his arms over his chest as he leant back into her sofa.

lando had walked into her flat 20 minutes prior, as he had hundreds of times before, threw himself down on her sofa and launched into a long rant about the meeting he had just come from.

since he was at the woking offices, zak had taken the opportunity to discuss the several occasions in recent weeks where lando had been caught in predicaments with multiple different women. when he finally left, zak’s ultimatum ran through his brain on a loop as he drove to one of his closest friends houses.

“clean your image up, or we’ll have to reconsider the possibility of you having a seat next year.”

“it sucks, lan, but i really don’t know how i can help you here,” y/n told him, moving a stack of research notes to the table before sitting cross legged next to him so that her body faced his.

y/n l/n was a newly graduated environmental researcher, who was taking a year out to decide what kind of work she wanted to pursue. she needed to travel, see the world, and experience all elements in her field before she could make that decision - but travelling was expensive and she could not afford to be in anymore debt after university.

“i have an idea,” lando announced, the realisation of what he was about to propose never really settling.

“that’s never good,” she joked.

“no, no hear me out -” he started, “i need to look like a man in a stable relationship, you need to see the world.”

“yeah? so?” she questioned, confused as to where he was going with this.

“look, it’s ok if you say no. i’m just saying - you could pretend to be my girlfriend and use the opportunity to travel the world and research your little bugs.”

“i don’t know, that seems a bit…deceitful?” y/n replied, yet the idea mulled in her brain more than she wished.

“just a few public appearances. you come with me to my races and use it as a research opportunity. maybe stay in monaco with me for a bit? let people film us being domestic and that?” lando replied, stuttering as he tried to think of more reasons - truly, he had started talking before he’d really thought it through.

“it’s tempting,” she replied slowly, “and for the last time lando, i do not study bugs, i study the environments they live in.”

“all expenses paid, travelling the world, looking at trees across the world,” he added teasingly, “- and all you have to do is hold my hand in public,” he finished, trying to summarise the arrangement.

“ok.”

“ok?”

“yeah, what’s the worst that can happen?”

✧ tell me all the places that you wanna see...

....i can take you all the places that you've never been ✧

the two of them fell easily into a natural act, almost gaining a sixth sense for cameras and fans and reaching for each other. it started small - a hand on her back, standing close to each other, being seen arriving and leaving together. but it hadn’t been enough, many pointing out that y/n had been at races and stayed with him in monaco multiple times, and concluding the two were still, just friends.

so they upped the ante. lando began holding her hand when they walked anywhere together, kissing her forehead lightly as they both pretended to be clueless to the snapping of cameras. at the last race, y/n had spotted a reporter and made a quick decision to tug at lando’s fireproof, pulling him down and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“that’s new,” he had told her, laughing lightly, but keeping his hands firmly on her waist.

“camera,” she told him, smiling up at him as he nodded.

and lando kept up his end of the deal, the two of them using the week of the australian grand prix to visit the great barrier reef.

their plan was working - the two were elated that people were finally putting the pieces together and believing the two really were together. even zak began to notice the positive effect y/n had on not only his image, but lando’s entire life.

“say y/n,” zak started as he walked up to the woman, “you work in environmental protection, don’t you?”

“i guess you could say that,” she responded, too tired to correct him, and slightly startled that he’d approached her as she sat minding her own business in the garage before the race began.

“we’re doing some work with the barrier reef group and oscar in a few days - would you consider being a sort of environmental advisor? just tell oscar a few things that he could talk about for the project?” he asked her assertively, smiling as her eyes widened at the request.

“i’d love to! but im supposed to be flying back tomorrow. let me ask lando later and ill get back to you?” she replied.

“sure,” he replied, smiling at her again before returning to his job. she was filled with excitement, it wasn’t often that she got to talk about her degree, and being able to contribute to a project of this scale was an amazing opportunity.

and her excitement only continued throughout the race, a feeling she always got watching lando compete, but overwhelmed when he cross the line 3rd. y/n ran round to join the rest of the mclaren team at the pit lane, watching as the podium cars pulled in and the drivers hopping out to celebrate with their teams.

lando climbed out, removing his helmet quickly before turning, scanning the crowd for y/n, and half sprinting when he spotted her. later, he would celebrate with his team, but for now he ran to her, pulling her in closely as he pressed his lips hastily to hers, pulled in closer by her hands cupping his jaw. when they pulled away, he kept her close to his embrace.

“im so proud of you,” she told him, smiling as he bent down to kiss her again, before rushing off to join his team.

y/n tried so hard to push away the feeling rising in her stomach - she didn’t like him like that, it was just the excitement of watching her friend succeed. so she ignored it, the same way she pushed away the feeling she got every time he calls her angel, even when they were alone.

im only here so that he keeps his job she reminded herself.

lando was distracted - he got podium, he was excited, his team were celebrating. yet he couldn’t help but let his thoughts linger to that feeling that shot through his veins when he’d kissed her. the same feeling he got every night, when she wrapped an arm tightly around his chest as they fell asleep.

she’s only here for research opportunities he told himself.

“im so proud of you,” y/n told him later that day as they left the track. wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him in to a tight hug, his arms falling naturally to hold her waist close to him. lando risked everything in that moment, pulling slightly back to look at her, before pressing a kiss to her lips.

“camera,” he told her, feeling her hesitation. her smile fell slightly before she leaned up to kiss him again. of course - the cameras, that’s why he kissed me she thought to herself, saddened slightly at the realisation.

there was no camera. they were totally alone.

✧ colours of the sky in your eyes

...fragments of the truth in your lies ✧

lando felt alone, his apartment felt so empty without her. he was happy she had the opportunity to stay in australia and do what she loves, but he couldn’t help but dwell on the flames igniting inside of him when he saw the videos of her and oscar together. it wasn’t jealousy, he told himself, he just missed her. after spending the last few months in close proximity, it made sense that he missed smelling her perfume around, or hearing the way her voice travelled through his brain.

y/n had a calming effect on him, and right now, lando was anything but calm.

which is why he found himself going back to his old ways, in a club, surrounded by women he wouldn’t remember the next day. he was too gone to remember that people with cameras tend to follow him around, capturing his every move in 4k - and he was far too gone to realise that publicly he was in a relationship, a relationship that should not include him leaving a club with a blonde.

and of course, y/n had seen the images blasted over twitter, headlines titled “cheating scandal?” consuming her entire feed. it was hard to remind herself that this thing between her and lando was not real, it was all pretend. and no matter how many times she told herself that fact, y/n couldn’t help but feel jealousy consume her entire existence.

the flat had never felt so awkward than the week before their flight to japan for the next race. she had returned a few days after the incident, lando greeting her at the door with a tight hug and a kiss to her forehead, but something was off.

“you have fun?” he asked her offhandedly as they moved to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water for himself.

“i did,” she said with a smile, though her tone held malice, “did you?”

lando’s hands stopped opening the cap of the bottle as he breathed in sharply.

“the fuck does that mean?” he replied, his tone harsh in defence.

“i was just asking if you had a good time, lando,” y/n answered, “she looked pretty, your type.”

“nothing happened, y/n,” lando told her, his voice sounding almost guilty.

“it’s ok if something did happen - we aren’t actually together,” she assured him, even though she could feel the jealousy bubbling up inside her again, “can you just be more cautious next time? im not sure i enjoy being told i deserved to be cheated on every time i open twitter.”

“im sorry, y/n, i am. i dont know what i was thinking,” he apologised, his eyes still softening with his guilt.

“clearly not a lot,” she tutted, before moving to take her bags to her room.

the rest of the week followed a similar vibe - the two of them barely spoke if they didn’t have to, making a few affectionate public appearances to show the world that their relationship was as strong as ever… oh the irony y/n thought every time she saw something dismissing earlier lando’s actions. however, by the time they flew out to japan, the friendship between the two seemed to have recovered - lando had almost sighed in relief when he saw her smile at him again.

“where you off to today?” lando asked her, pacing around the hotel room as he packed his bag for the day.

“the marina,” she replied, smiling as she pulled her coat on, “looking at the fish.”

“gross.”

“what time is qualis?” y/n asked him, ignoring his statement.

“uhh…3 i think - but you should try and get there by 2?” he told her, glancing down at his phone to see the current time. lando strode over to her, cupping her face lightly as he pressed a quick kiss to her head - this was becoming second nature to him, and she wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

“perfect!” she replied, trying to stop the nervous blush rising her face, ignoring the way her stomach flipped, “ill be there,” she added before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and leaving the room. the moment the door closed, lando’s hand raised to touch where she had kissed him, smiling fondly at the thought.

he was utterly and truly fucked. how had he let himself fall for her? how could he continue to pretend to love her, when he really did?

y/n spent the rest of the morning in a similar state of panic, mentally shutting down at the prospect of loving lando and knowing he’d never feel the same. she hadn’t even intended to leave him today, but found herself quickly googling anything for her to do the moment she woke up with his arm wrapped tightly around her stomach and his head resting on her back. y/n needed space, she knew she couldn’t keep up their little act when her heart was slowly shattering every time he kissed her for the cameras.

so caught up in her own thoughts, she didn’t realise the time until it hit 2pm and she was stuck at the marina, desperately trying to find a taxi to get her to the track. and when she finally made it, y/n wish she hadn’t bothered.

lando was pacing angrily, talking under his breath as he checked his phone constantly - he only had 5 minutes before he needed to go down to the garage and get ready for qualifiers. the door slid open, and y/n walked through - ready to spurt out her apologies - but she stopped suddenly, sensing the anger looming in his room.

“where were you?” lando asked her, trying to keep himself calm, though the race nerves mixed with his temperament made that quite difficult.

“im sorry lan, i lost trac-”

“lost track of time? found something more interesting to do? save it, i don’t wanna hear your excuses,” he argued back, interrupting her with his ever loudening tone.

“you’d know all about ‘finding something more interesting���, wouldn’t you,” y/n replied, her own voice raising to meet his. if there’s one thing y/n will do, it’s stand up for herself, even when all she wanted to do was kiss him. dont kiss him, hit him she told herself.

“fuck you,” he spat, shoving past her to leave the room.

“at least im here!” she shouted back down the hallway, desperate for the last word

y/n stayed in the room for qualifiers, trying to stop the tears running down her face before lando returned. she hoped his anger was only heightened by his nerves, praying that after securing P3 he would return as his normal self, laughing and joking with her. in a strange way, she wanted cameras on them, she wanted him to be affectionate with her - she needed him to comfort her.

the woman walked nervously down to the garage, hoping to catch him quickly before he had to run off for media duties. maybe now he had secured a solid start position for tomorrows race he would be more willing to have a mature, sensible conversation with her.

or not.

lando spotted her immediately, pulling her arm quickly to lead her round to a secluded area outside the garage. he wasn’t angry at her, he was angry at himself for letting it get this far. he was so irritated, he couldn’t even spare a moment to see the fear in her eyes as he took in a deep breath.

he wasn’t angry at her, but he didn’t know how else to express his overwhelming emotions.

“what do you want? make it quick, ive got media to do,” he snapped, letting go of her arm as they stopped walking. she rubbed at it, her skin still burning from his tight grip.

“i just wanted to see you lan, congratulate you,” she replied softly, biting back tears once more.

“oh now you want to be here to support me?” he breathed out, crossing his arms over his chest.

“what does that mean?”

“i let you come with me to help with your career, and yet you can’t even turn up to support mine. i knew you were selfish but thi-”

“selfish?” she argued, trying to keep her voice low, “me? selfish? i haven’t got enough fingers to count the amount of times you’ve missed my important things because you were busy with your career. and have i complained once?”

“well no but-”

“but nothing, lando. i can’t even pretend to love this version of you,” she ranted, her anger being overcome with sadness, “you know what? fix your own reputation - or don’t. i don’t care what or who you do anymore,” she finished, turning on her heel and storming away from him.

he wanted to follow her, he wanted to hold her close as he apologised. lando knew he was being selfish, he knew it wasn’t fair to string her along under the pretence of saving his career. he knew he could no longer pretend, not with her and not with the public. lando needed her in every sense of the word. but duty calls, so he settles on dealing with this later, sitting her down and telling her the truth, even if it had the potential to destroy their friendship - he figured he couldn’t make it any worse.

but y/n isn’t at the track when he finishes up for the day, and she’s not at the hotel when he returns - and neither are her belongings. lando checked his phone repeatedly, messaging her desperately.

he fell to the bed, head in his hands as he tried to regulate his breathing.

she was gone, and it was all his fault.

✧ i know that you're perfect for me

…tell me that you're sorry

…won't you please just take my heart again ✧

it took a few weeks for lando to finally stop messaging her, though y/n noticed an increase in visits from max, their mutual friend, under the guise of “just checking in” on his childhood friend. y/ wasn’t stupid, she knew who was behind max’s sudden interest in her wellbeing. but max was stupid either, he knew why the two of them had taken this fall out so hard.

“you did what?” max shouted in shock.

“i asked her to pretend to be girlfriend so i could keep my job,” lando sighed, hiding his face in his hands.

“you’re stupid.”

“i know.”

“in what world was that ever going to end well?”

“the world where i didn’t realise i actually do fancy her?” lando replied quietly, questioning his own admission.

“im so stupid,” max replied.

“how are you the stupid one here?”

“stupid for believing the two of you had finally worked out what has been right in front of you since we were 13.”

lando was desperate. he needed to talk to her, he needed to tell her how he felt - but for now, he settled with knowing she was ok.

“she’s alive and healthy - and she had pizza for lunch,” max told him over the phone, growing tired of this weekly routine the two of them had started.

“but she’s doing ok, right?”

“she’s good, lan,” he reassured, neglecting to tell him the part where she cried on him about losing her best friend over a trivial, child-like crush.

“but…?” lando asked, sensing there was more.

“but - she still doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“i could’ve guessed that one, thanks mate.”

“hey dont get mean with me - im just doing what you asked.”

“i know, sorry.”

“don’t apologise to me, find a way to fix this you muppet.”

y/n was not ok, spending most of her nights alone, scrolling through social media seeing the rumours about her and lando’s supposed split - “she’s wasn’t at the race” “i saw her leaving suzuka crying” “he looks so sad in interviews”. why do they care so much? but they aren’t wrong, she thought.

she began looking for a job, but nothing seemed as exciting as the work she’d done with mclarens environmental programme - which seemed to no longer be an option. unbeknownst to her, mclaren also loved the work she had done with them - her presence was greatly missed in the garage by many, especially those on the receiving end of lando’s current outbursts.

y/n’s phone lit up the entire room, the notification cutting through the silence of her room, breaking her away from her own thoughts.

-

y/n was still convinced this was a trick, luring her to miami under the pretence of work so that oscar could push her head first into a trap. the thought stuck with her throughout her plane journey, as she checked in to her hotel, even up to the moment she knocked on oscar’s door to discuss the project. she was waiting for lando to appear, push her into a locked room and force her to talk to him.

“…’but if i talk to him, ill end up telling him why i ran, and how i feel about him, then he’ll reject me, laugh in my face and im back to feeling sorry for myself,” she told oscar, having finished giving him the run down for their project, and allowing the conversation to move to the elephant in the room - what had happened between her and lando.

“im sure that’s not true,” he replied, feeling sad for the girl in front of him, though he already knew most of the story from hearing lando’s self-destructive rants.

she opened her mouth to responded, but was stopped by a sharp knock at the door.

“oscar? are you ready to go?” a familiar voice called from the other side, sending y/n’s blood cold, her eyes widening in panic.

“what the fuck, oscar?” she whispered shouted, feeling betrayed.

“i didn’t know he was coming y/n, i swear, i’d never do that to you,” oscar reassured her truthfully, although slightly beaming as a plan formulated in his head, “stay there, ill tell him to meet me downstairs.”

oscar stood, moving to open the door slightly.

“hey mate - just got some things to sort out, ill meet you downstairs in 15?”

“sure,” lando nodded, turning to leave, but not before his eyes drifted into the room, spotting the same pair of flowery vans that had spent months sitting in his hallway. y/n’s vans.

lando walked down to the lobby, taking a seat as he waited for oscar, his mind consumed with the fact that y/n was here, in miami, in his hotel. why was she here? why hadn’t she told him? was she still avoiding him?

“he-”

“where is she?” lando interrupted the australian the moment he approached.

“’hi oscar, are you ready to go?’ would’ve been my response but ok,” oscar replied.

“where is she, oscar?” lando continued, determined.

“she doesn’t want to see you.”

“i know,” he replied bluntly, “why is she here?”

“y/n was invited to join mclaren as an advisor on a new climate video,” oscar gave in, replying as professionally as he could - he wasn’t here to discuss their ‘breakup’.

that’s a lie, he’s pretty sure zak asked him to do another environmental video purely to suggest that he contacted y/n to be an advisor. and he’s absolutely certain that zak, equally as fed up with lando’s attitude, was looking for a reason to bring the two back together.

“who invited her? where is she staying?” lando quizzed him as they walked towards the car, doubting he’d even get an answer.

“zak invited her, he appreciated the work she did for us in australia,” oscar replied, ignoring his second question. lando hummed in response, if oscar wouldn’t tell him, he would find out for himself.

it was only a press day, so lando split from his teammate and began his hunt for zak brown. it wasn’t hard, the man was wearing bright orange and had a laugh that could be heard for miles.

“hey zak,” he started.

“hey lando, what can i do for you?” zak asked, glancing at his at a text on his phone quickly before giving lando his full attention.

“how are you?” lando asked hastily, beginning his attempt to bombard his boss with questions till he slipped up.

“im good.”

“what are you doing today?”

“just going over some things with the team.”

“what do you think the weather will be like on sunday?”

“war-”

“where’s she staying?”

“the marriot i-” zak replied, pretending to stutter as he answered, feigning shock at accidentally revealing the hotel.

“thanks zak, love you,” lando called out as he jogged out. zak smirked to himself, replying to oscar’s message.

z → mission complete.

o → you made sure it looked like an accident, right?

z → jesus oscar i just told him the hotel name i didn’t kill him

of course lando couldn’t leave the track immediately, he had a job to do first. but the moment he became free for the evening, he was off, arriving at the hotel in record time. there were many cons to being a recognisable face, but a pro of being so famous was a hotel receptionist who barely batted an eyelid as lando demanded to know the room number of y/n l/n.

his knuckles rapped on the door quickly, his heartrate beating rapidly as he did. this could go so many ways, and most of them were not good. the door swung open, his eyes coming to look at the woman in front of him - she looked good, but she looked different, like something was missing.

“lando? what are yo- OSCAR!” she called out, turning to look back into the room, the door widening as she did revealing his teammate sat at the desk, “did you do this?”

“not me,” he replied, holding his hands up in defence. her head spun back around to look at lando, she was taking him in. he had a plaster on his nose, the curls were alive and well, and his everlasting tan ran the expanse of his skin. she didn’t want to admire him, but damn, miami was treating him well.

“go away i dont want to see you,” she announced suddenly, trying to shut the door but finding his foot blocking it.

“i know you don’t, but i need you to just listen to me, please. and then you can shut the door and never have to deal with me again,” he told her, pleading.

“oscar’s here.”

“actually, i should probably get going,” oscar announced moving to grab his stuff to leave. y/ns head shot back around, her eyes shooting daggers at him as if to say ‘dont you dare leave me alone with him right now’ to which he merely shrugged and walked out.

lando closed the door behind him, moving the two of them back into the room - y/n sat down awkwardly on the edge of the bed as he remained stood in front of her.

“what do you need to tell me?” she asked him impatiently.

“y/n, these last few weeks have been hell for me. i know i hurt you, i said some horrible stuff that you really didn’t deserve and i will do anything for you to forgive me and move past this,” he said, pausing before adding, “i don’t know about yo-”

“oh, so it wasn’t you sending max to “check in on me” every week?” she interrupted, her eyebrows quirking with her accusation.

“you worked that one out then?” lando replied, laughing slightly, relief washing over him that she didn’t seem angry at him.

“it was so obvious! since when has max ever felt the need to check im doing ok ever? let alone every week?”

“i sent him because i care about you y/n. you weren’t responding to my messages, dodging my calls,” he told her, watching her smile slightly, a blush rising her face.

“so why are you here now?”

“look, this whole ‘thing’,” he started, waving his arms to indicate he meant whatever the two of them were doing, “it started as something purely to benefit the both of our careers. but i think somewhere down the line, it turned into something more. something that should’ve happened years ago,” he told her, his heart ready to beat its way out of his chest and jump out the window.

the two sat in silence for a moment, y/n mulled over his words in her head. this is what she wanted, wasn’t it? she wanted him to love her the way she loved him. so, why did she feel so apprehensive about letting him back in?

“i know you felt it too, y/n,” lando said again, not letting her thoughts distract her too far.

“feel,” she said bluntly.

“huh?”

“you said felt. i still feel that way about you lan.”

“then why won’t you let me in?”

“you said some really nasty stuff to me, lan. really horrible stuff that had me reconsidering my entire life. you’re lucky i even let you stay. why couldn’t you just be honest with me - instead of pushing me away?”

“i didn’t know how to,” he admitted, stepping closer to her, “if i had a time machine, i would take back everything i said. id go back and slap some fucking sense into myself.”

lando now stood directly in front of her, his thighs brushing her knees lightly as his hand moved to her face, wiping away a tear she didn’t even know what trailing down her cheek. his fingers tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear before settling on cupping her jaw lightly.

“can you forgive me?” he asked her softly, thumb stroking at her cheek.

“it’s not all your fault, lan. i could’ve said something too,” she told him.

“please just say you forgive me so i can kiss you, you idiot,” he laughed out.

“forgiven,” y/n said quickly, her head tilting so that their lips met. it was familiar, the feeling his lips on hers, but this time there was a sense of urgency. a sense of love that was absent anytime they had kissed before. his tongue swiped at her bottom lip, desperate for more which she granted happily, as her hands moved to rest in his hair, tugging at the curls lightly.

“fuck, y/n. ‘missed you so much,” he moaned out, the grip on his hair sending his mind blank.

“missed you too,” she replied as he moved to kiss down her neck softly, “even if you were a bit of a dick.”

“let me make it up to you?” lando teased, nipping at the skin of her neck whilst his fingers toyed with the hem of her top.

“there’s a lot to make up for.”

“ive got time,” he replied, pulling the fabric away from her body fully. her hands reached out, grabbing at his mclaren polo to remove it as well, dropping it next to herself on the bed.

lando laid her back on the bed, hovering over her as he continued kissing down the flesh of her torso.

“y/n i forgot m-” oscar started, barging back into the room, “oh my god, ive been gone what…? 3 minutes? how have you already taken your clothes off?” he exclaimed with a laugh.

“fuck off!” y/n and lando called out in unison, lando reaching for his top and launching it in oscar’s direction.

“ok ok, im going,” he replied, raising his hands again in defence, “stay safe kids,” he added before leaving the room, his forgotten phone now in tow.

“kids?” lando muttered, “im older than him?”

[pheenixbabe]

elephant in the room 🐘

rant about the state of online shifting; "get-it-off my chest" moment

part 1. scripting trauma/ being a bad person in a dr how many people are really doing "bad things" or scripting in trauma in their dr? lets be so fucking for real here. why is it that everytime someone "morally corrupt" it gets exposed months apart and the "culprit" is some small ass account with like ten followers? its not common. and im not saying it never happens. but shiftok is always on about these people and im like...who tf are yall talking about? they find one bad apple and then decide the whole community needs to be reminded how fucked up it is to do xyz.

i mean lets be realistic, how many people are going out of their way to script something traumatic or harmful? the majority of the online community (reddit, tumblr, tiktok) always talks about shifting for their s/o, adventure, frienships, family or a better life in some way. how many people are deliberately scripting to harm themselves or others? and is the number really so much that we need thinkpiece after thinkpiece about it?

aand when others behave immorally or get traumatized in their dr they will experience it. they will see the effects of any bad things they do to others. they will feel the trauma first hand and suffer from what theyve scripted in many ways. we dont need to punish these people. their dr will do it for them.

P. S what about when you shift to a dr like the walking dead? or even mha and keep in the war arc? thats traumatic. hell, even an idol / fame dr can be traumatic and those are hella common! yet nobody bats an eye or reprimands it...odd...

part 2. racebending race doesnt exist. i saw a shiftoker (a white one too??) act like someone was crazy for saying it! the whole concept was created by europeans! white mans burden, race based social classes, and eugenics all seems natural to yall? i mean logically its not odd to anyone that modern racial concepts were made by the same group of people in the same time period...? the time period people needed excuses to kill, rape, steal from and enslave other groups... search up "who created race" and then report back to me..anyways..

name one good thing that splitting people up and assigning them identities based on their background does for us? its caused mocking of those that dont fit the mold their race gives them, harmful views of other because of their racial group(s) and low self esteem from outside perceptions of your race. oh and division among groups on top of everything. so what is the point of holding on to race? abandon it! shift to be white, asian, black, indigenous, do what you want! youre not "changing your race" until you shift to become a different species (and theyres obvi nothing wrong w that!).

and some people say "if you script your another race your downplaying the racism poc face" but not every country has the same type of racism the states has. not every country is even as racist as the states. for example if im shifting to be fully south korean born & raised, and live full time in south korea, its not likely ill experience racism. and even so you can just...script out racism? like what...some people literally hate shifters who dont script out racism and expect everyone to script it out, but then turn to say that they cant change their race because of racism...huh? genuinely dont get that.

P. S im only really preaching abandonment of race so flippantly in regard to shifting. in this reality we're kinda stuck with it at this point lol.

P.S.S and it seems shifters from the usa hate racebending the most! as an american, i wonder how much of that is being intimidated that the concept of a racial hierarchy, that our nation has been built upon for centuries, can be shattered so easily...and therefore obviously proves it as obsolete. food for thought. (half joking here teehee)

[nightcolorz]

Have been actually shocked by the takes of Louis and Armand’s relationship dynamic that I have been seeing in which people act like Armand’s subservience is manipulative and evil.

As someone who was also a victim of grooming in my youth (though obvs not like Armand level of traumatic events bc good lord that boy cannot catch a break) I always found Armand to be a really compelling character, and I loved how they were handling the psychological impact of his abuse on his relationships within the show and they all felt very relatable to a degree. I was like mind blown by the way they handled how Louis and Armand’s pasts related to each others and thought it was super clever and it made me go “holy shit” in a way that a tv show hasn’t made me go in a long time. Though I can see where some of the takes are coming from, it has been really disheartening as a victim of grooming to see people dismiss Armand’s behavior when he’s with Louis as purely a form of manipulation on Armand’s part or a fun silly sex thing 😭😭😭

YES ANON FR!!! also very disheartening and genuinely offensive to me how some ppl talk about Armand and his trauma (also am a victim of grooming lol). I’ve talked about this before, but the way ppl r saying with their full chests that Armand is being manipulative in his trauma responses is like actually fucked up, and it’s low key triggering to me 😭. Just bcus armand manipulates ppl doesn’t mean he is *always* manipulating ppl omfg 💀💀 some nuance pls I beg of u.

to me it seems very clear that Armand falls into subservience and behaves as the victim bcus the abuse he experienced was the closest he ever felt to feeling like he understood what he was doing and understood what he was needed for. For a lot of victims of grooming their abuse can cause them to feel safe in those types of abusive dynamics bcus it’s familiar to them, which def seems to be how it is for Armand. Armand feels constantly lost and confused and by being a slave again he returns to a time where he knew what he was, when he had someone there to tell him what he was. And it comes off very clearly to me that Louis sees this in Armand when Armand tells him about his trauma and (as he’s also in a vulnerable position) realizes that he can use Armand’s pattern of submitting to servitude to his advantage. Which!!! That is objectively fucked up im sorry 😭 and I’m tired of being in a fandom where ppl r acting like just bcus Louis is a likeable sympathetic character and Armand does mistreat Louis also, that means Louis isn’t capable of mistreating Armand. Bcus it sounds like when ppl make those excuses that they r saying sexual exploitation like that is ok 😭. Just bcus Armand agrees to and participates in it doesn’t mean Louis isn’t knowingly exploiting the trauma of a vulnerable person 😭 and it doesn’t make it ok. Like we can find it fun and sexy, but the “face down in the coffin” scene was still borderline non con sensual 😭 yknow what I’m saying? You can like Louis as ur fav and discuss how Armand is shitty to him without acting like it’s ok for Louis to pretend to be Armand’s abuser as he orders him around like an animal so he’ll do what he wants. This is an incredibly complex dynamic with two very fucked up characters who hurt and abuse each other out of fear, and some of u can’t handle that nuance 😭.

and I understand not being able to grasp the nuance of Armand’s character, it took me like a year to fully wrap my head around him. He’s got a lot going on and it’s hard to understand why he behaves the way he does, especially if you haven’t experienced sexual trauma or grooming. But just like, y’all have to remember that it can come off as pretty shitty and bad faith to interpret a character like this as always being evil all the time. Ur reducing someone very complex and ur making some borderline offensive (also borderline racist but that’s a different rant) implications

thank u sm for the ask anon ur so right and I relate so hard to ur annoyances ❤️❤️

[kendallville]

incredibly hot (well, maybe not amongst Jeremy fans but OH WELL lemme preach to the choir) take but: i find the way Jeremy is talked about his ex Succession co-stars these days so very obnoxious. Why should we or anyone care about his "method"? I watch him act fantastically on my tv screen, that alone is a joy for me, and his interviews show he cares a lot about his craft. To be too cool for school and shrug everything off is also its own method actors go about what they do - and lemme tell you, I find that so much more embarrassing than someone who might use flowery language, quote European intellectuals, and perhaps do like hearing themselves talk - the latter is pretty universal.

As a whole, idc if an actor is annoying in that sense, because I don't have to coexist with them (besides, I do know people who are indeed annoying in that way - some of them are my friends). Do they entertain me, cause me to feel emotion, will I be in awe when watching them work? If the answer to all of that is yes, then I like the actor. As long as they're not confirmed to be harrassing their castmates (or anyone at all), a creep who endangers them, or a genuine bigot, I truly DGAF. Unlike Brian Cox, apparently, who openly backs actors known to be domestic abusers and/or rapists. Plus, can't recall the last time various people have roasted Daniel Day-Lewis like that over his method... 🤔 (also: I could die very happily if I never have to hear that goddamned Laurence Olivier quote to Dustin Hoffman ever again)

Kieran's cheap shots also didn't exactly endear me to him - even though I think he's a great actor and I will see A Real Pain when it comes out in theatres here. But hm, let's just say that I am actively rooting for him to lose when he goes up against Jeremy in the Best Supporting Actor category and to also lose as Best Leading Actor if he ends up in that category when Jeremy loses in Best Supporting.

Yes, this is petty but [shrugs]

Sorry for leaving a rant in your askbox LOL ❤️

Thank you so much for that ask! I totally agree with everything you wrote.

For me one thing is true - when I watched second season of Succession, there was something in Kendall that tore me apart. I really felt his emotions and I haven't experienced that ever before watching TV show. It was so surprising, but also excilariting. Someone my age suddenly being floored by watching some rich guy mope around.

And then, later, I learned how Jeremy Strong has approached creating Kendall's character. It became clear to me that the realness of the emotions came from a very deep place of the actor, the person. To think that someone was ready to go that far for the role (he said it led him to some very dark places and that he has lost feeling of joy) makes you look at the whole craft differently.

I love how serious and thoughtful he is in describing his work, it's something so rare these days. Jeremy always says that you need to be brave and do things that scare you, and that's how he lives, and it's very inspiring.

I also agree that Kieran acts like he's just a guy who comes to do "whatever", and it's actually ironic, because from what he describes he does a lot of things similarly to Jeremy - he didn't want to rehearse in A Real Pain and he mentions that he let the Benji character act out, like he didn't know what would happen, how he would behave. That's exactly what Jeremy did while filming Succession.

It's clear that someone's process might be difficult for other actors, but from what I gather, Jeremy mostly kept to himself and was isolating, so I don't think it was such a big burden for them, other than a fact that it probably created tensed atmosphere, but on the other hand - Kieran and Sarah are best buds (she's a godmother of one of his kids) and Brian talks fondly of both of them, so they're good. The only one left out is Jeremy (not counting Alan Ruck, sorry Con), that's the choice he made and he seems to accept it.

For me the best proof of Jeremy's grace and thoughtfulness is the fact that he never reacted to Brian Cox's cheap shots; he literally said that he admires him when asked about his comments.

As to the awards, I watched A Real Pain and it's a good movie, but as a Succession freak I must say that Kieran performed Benji character in a very similar way to how he portrayed Roman, this guy is just more open about his feelings. I'm surprised it wasn't noted in any reviews, but maybe it's just me. I think Kieran might win with Jeremy because he's more liked in the industry, but for me, trying to be as objective as I can, the performance of Jeremy in 'The Apprentice' is just leaps and bounds superior to that of Kieran's in 'A Real Pain'.

[notmyprey]

Small vent cause I swear I keep seeing this, and it just bugs me. Im not angry, I'm mostly just sad that this is where we are right now.

Guys, can we not harass others. Unless they are hurting others, what is harassment going to do? Make them sad? Make them hate themselves?

People can, in fact, have different likes and opinions than you. As long as they are not actively hurting people, hating others, or being mean, what is wrong with what they are doing?

Liking sfw vore, extreme cuddling, or any of its other names is not something that one should be harassed over.

Likeing vore in a sexual light is not something to be harassed over.

Liking it both ways is ok, too.

Also, the fact that some people are going out of their ways to harass people who like vore (sfw or nsfw) in a fatal/digestion context is so sad.

I personally dont find vore sexual. I personally dont like fatal (in the sense that the prey is dead completely and isn't a ghost or anything that still has a presence).

But here is the thing. I dont need to like and/or understand it to respect it. I dont need to like spiders to respect people who keep them as pets. I dont need to like the idea of having children to respect those who do.

People. You dont need to understand their feelings. You dont need to feel the same way. But they are people too. They have feelings. They are more than just text on a screen.

I know I may seem like a flat, one dimensional person since I post 1 type of content here, and thats how many people who like vore make their blogs too, but I am a human behind the screen.

Just, please. Respect others. I know, many people here are hurt. I know many people here have trust issues, and unfortunately, a draw of the vore community is that need for trust. But having healthy boundaries, having a healthy outlet that's not an anger filled rant (*will elaborate on what I mean at the bottom of this), and having someone to ask "can you make sure this is me talking, and not just my initial reaction" are things this community needs to work on.

If I were to give any advice, it would be to wait a minute before you post a vent, rant, or anything along those lines. Walk away for a minute, come back, and reread it. You may find that some of what you type is your initial anger, fear, or hurt speaking, not you.

I want your real voice to be heard, yall, and sometimes to do that, you need to step back for a moment. So before you send that hate message, before you post that rant, please ask yourself:

"Is that me, or what I was taught"

* I want to elaborate on what I mean by anger filled rant.

What I consider an anger filled rant is when someone finds something they dont like, and decid to attack it.

Instead of making something informative, they make something emotion filled. This isn't always bad. But this can be bad if the thing they are attacking is something that is not hurting others or themselves.

So in short, what I mean by anger filled rant is, a rant that attacks something that is not harmful.

I dont condone harassment towards anyone, but I do understand an angry rant if it is about someone who is hurting others. Again, that is not the thing I am referencing. I am not saying someone being angry at another for hurting people is wrong, it isnt. People should be angry at people getting hurt.

So yah, thank you all for reading this. I just needed to get this out there.

Guys, btw, this is not sfw interaction only for me (if you're rb you wanna make sfw only thats ok, def enforce your own boundaries) cause:

1. I feel like this is important for both sides

2. I have a 'if I dont see you, I dont care' rule cause I have given up on trying to blog all nsfw ppl lol. Sides they aren't monsters or anything. Just ppl. Still dont want them rbing or commenting, but liking my stuff is fine.

[sueheesblog]

I'm rewatching The Bear...... And Lord Syd really walked into fire the same day she started working at The Beef. T being a pain, the loud music, and Richie being loud like Mickey. I got some boring opinions. Let me rant n be delulu 😂🤣🤣😍

Richie saying that The Beef didn't have money problems until after Carmy showed up😬😬😱😱😱..... Knowing what I know about season 3, I see a pattern of Carmy trying to change things too fast, too soon. The Beef been running for 25 years, which means something was going right for it to last that long (we know some d.rugs money was involved lol). Richie confessed about selling from the back a few times lol.

Anyways, I say all of that to say, I think Syd was the only one who walked into Carmy's life with a plan. Carmy saw that n respected her for it. Everyone else was going with a flow that was no longer sustainable (this includes Claire). Yes, she and Carmy had a past, (well to be honest they don't even have a past. They never dated or hangout in HS) it's more like a fantasy. People grow n change..... n love interest can also change. I don't think Carmy like Claire the way he did bk then. It's life!

Carmy was happy he found someone who shared his passion, yes he wanted a business with Mikey..... but I honestly think Carmy wanted it for himself too. He's only wanted 2 things The Bear with his brother and Syd (yes, Syd). He was willing to make a complete stranger help him run his family business after 1 - 2 weeks of observing her. He made that decision with no outside influence (his family). HE WANTED SYDNEY and that want slowly turned into NEEDING HER. I'm not talking on a romantic level of want/need, but business wise she will always be his first option.

The romantic level, based on my opinion started flickering when the mere thought of her calmed him. Now, he's probably too naive to notice that he has developed romantic feelings for her and its pushing to the surface. The mere thought of her brought him peace and steady the tsunami in his mind. That is a leave of intimacy that is top tier. She touched him mentally. Carmy n Syd's conversation in the beginning of Season 2 are soo charged that they don't have to touch to sell the audience a romantic story. This is because their way of intimacy is through food, thats how they express themselves to each other. It's like talking about the menus n stuff is foreplay. It was also funny to see Carmy gave Syd the best orgasm of her life and then take it back. (This was when he said her braised short ribs was tremendous, and then decided to take it back). She like, no sir, we ain't doing that cause I'm still on cloud nine trying to come down. 😂🤣😂🤣

Carmy suspected this and he didn't want to entertained Claire (gave her the wrong number). Now, she's all tangled up in Carmy n Syd's weird mind fuck with food..... Syd feeling jealous is kinda vaild (hear me out). It's valid because all the time they spent together being mentally intimate through food...... those feelings were reciprocated. So, CARMY out here cheating on Syd.... giving all the focus she deserved and EARNED to Claire. Like, Syd should packed his shit up and put him out!

BUT, at the end of season 3 they stopped connecting through their food. It's like when married couple is so far apart that sex/intimacy longer plays a role in the relationship or it took the back burner. Days or weeks would pass and they wouldn't touch each other...... This is what Carmy n Syd are facing. Their relationship is so disconnected that intimacy is no longer on the table.

Let's see if they get a divorce or make up.

[weird-bookworm]

LET'S SPREAD SOME LOVE!!!!!

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

😄

oh god this is gonna be one hell of an answer

@fairyhaos because shes the sweetest comfiest most adorably chaotic lil ball of energy + she gives the best advice like hello??? what are you??? oh god my heart goes a little off track everytime we talk i just love you so much

@wheeboo okay shes part 2 of the they-make-me-feel-the-safest trio along w yena and axe like please i stumbled across the sweetest sassiest boo stan ever ALSO UR GORGEOUS???

@blue-jisungs axeaxeaxeaxeaxe so chaotically lovely and so boomer and so fun and yoid think shes savage but no shes just soft and as harmful as a pinecone (why do u remind me of tht one joon meme of him just. sitting there. peeling potatoes. in tiny.)

@slytherinshua we kinda talked less for a while bc life happened and then caught up (kinda lol) and im so glad to see shes still as crazy and lovable as ever (im waiting for tht ppt) like talk abt impressive. impressive is her whole personality. sometimes in, uh, less than conventional ways...hehe

@eternalgyu HANNIE WHERE TF R U I MISS UUUUUUUU 😭😭😭😭🫶🏻 like yk what i imagine when i think of hannie? causing mischief. LIKE IDEK WHY OKAY i just feel like we'd be running around giggling like idiots js pulling random pranks on people and js the thought makes me smile

@yllouhannie ylli is like love. ylli is gentle and kind and sweet. shes understanding and passionate and really quite cute. oh my love you make me wanna jump off a cliff because how can someone like you exist 😭 (no srsly what is this witchcraft ilysm mwah)

@woozvc nora is like home. which is saying a lot lmao i sound dramatic but like yk when u just talk to someone and it feels just right even tho ur not rly doing much? shes older but she lets go and i can just feel how absolutely beautiful this person is *melts off a cliff*

@welcometomyoasis shu oh shu i have no words so pardon if this is a little small but. ik i say this a lot but i rly do mean it. i love you. so much. yr msgs and reblogs and asks always make a smile and they make me giddy and suddenly nothing is wrong with the world 🥺

@haecien bro is my ultimate gay bestie like what else do you need in life other than cien. what. nothing is the answer. life is complete when u hv cien and his shenanigans lolol like i dare you try to Not like him. i m p o s s i b l e.

@glosskirt AYYYYY MY ARMY SOULMATE we connected over min yoongi. we still rant over min yoongi. we shall die talking about min yoongi. like there is nothing better than having someone to fangirl with over my favs gloss you filled a hole in my life <3

@mesanthropi weiwei!!!! my little bundle of sugar spice and everything nice!! (+ chaos and a passion about the randomest shit ever how do u live why am i not this exciting) how is it always fun to talk to you and why do ur msgs excite me so much

@aaniag chaos. thats it. chaos. this woman brought with her about half a dozen more desi moots for me like how do i hug you how do i appreciate you enough i ugghhhh 😩

@thepoopdokyeomtouched im still waiting for my flirting yk? lol on a serious note, u and ur crazy streak r probably the most entertaining thing on here, and i fucking love it. i love ur chaos and the fact tht u choose to share it w me, thank you 🫶🏻

@arafilez bro rly dropped outta thin air like a fucking ghost and made my life abt a 100x more exciting where were you my entire life ara. where. why didnt the atz rants and the writing and the random asks show up sooner. why.

@nonononranghaee HAFS MY LIL CUTIE PATOOTIE WHY DO I ALWAYS WANNA SQUISH U NOMNOM U CRUSH U KSKSJEHEH u give me so much cuteness aggression oh my god...

@kkooongie sarah sarah sarah sarah sarah i live for ur writing and im always looking forward to our little chats abt books and random stuff (...when r u updating btw 😅)

@maeleelee @mxnsxngie @imagine-a-life-like-this i don't tell you guys enough how much i love and appreciate each one of you. i dont tell u enough how grateful i am whenever i think abt u bc god ik how hard it is to take in a random person in ur circle, to adjust w a kid, to make said kid feel safe and included and loved. so thank you. for all that you do for me and for loving lil ol' me <3

@cadenonlinelive where u at damn i hvnt seen u in ages

@rubywonu @idubiluv GUYS STOP HIBERNATING ITS NOT WINTER ANYMORE I MISS U

[free-boundsoul]

HEY YOU🫵🫵🫵

1) Im loving all of your rambles and thoughts about the most recent Porter audio

2) I AGREE SO MUCH. There are so many ways that the next audio for Porterpotty (he deserves that name for now he can redeem him self later) can play out. But I can also imagine treasure going “numb” in a sense where now whenever they deal with a issue no matter how serious or small they are going to stay quiet. Reading someone of your stuff about treasure wanting to be that person to Porter by being someone that he can talk to after going to therapy. I CANT HELP but think that treasure is also doing this because their friends wouldn’t do/be the same for them. Which is why treasure cares so much. Because treasure wants to be a support be that they themselves could not. But to just be dissected by a person you care about OUCH OUCH. And it’s so true that treasure doesn’t even know much about Porter just when he rants and treasure listens. I do hope that regardless of how Porter and treasure resolve this, treasure will be able to communicate that they aren’t just a crutch for Porter in a shmexy time manner, but to be there emotionally. To not carry the burden all by himself. Yet Porter has too much pride ? Or is just not used to being in this type of relationship. Because lowkey Porter scared me a bit in this recent audio 😀. He didn’t yell but it was his tone. He was calm and knew how he was speaking and Intended it to come across like that (purely as a defense mechanism) BUT ONE THAT HE NEEDS TO WORK ON GODDAMIT.

god I can go on and on. This is the first time a redacted audio has me thinking and thinking. Maybe cause it hit a little too close to home BUT OH WELLAlso this is my first time seeing your post and 🤌🏽🤌🏽 I had to say something. have a good day !

Aww thank you so much! 💜

Porterpotty! (I shouldn't but I couldn't help but laugh when I saw that 🤣)

The interesting thing about the audios is that we get one half of the conversation. We are left to interpret how the listener responds to a degree. We get some clues as to what was said but not the tone used.

People can interpret that Treasure's tone is aggressive or pushy or snappish. But I personally see it as hesitant and nervous. They don't want to hurt Porter but maybe he just needs a push to actually confide in them. He gave them a push to see how their friends were treating them. They were trying to reciprocate.

They know what it's like to bury their feelings. How it festers and rots from the inside out. They can only imagine how his repressed feelings are eating away at him after however many decades.

But I can see how his own admission how they only know a part of him rings true. I can see how they let Porter see all of them, how much it hurt with how his digs hit home. But a relationship can't be just showing pieces to each other. Otherwise it'll fall apart, even if it's done in the name of protection. So I'm curious how his next audio will go. And I'll be chewing on the bars of my enclosure until we get it lol

[scapeg8ats]

(Sorry for this being a long post, it became a rant/vent and a lot of thoughts. Someday I'll shut up about this I SWEAR lol. There's a TL;DR at the end.)

Maybe I'm not even interested in syscourse outside of learning more about plurality and its connections outside of CDDs and why someone may see themselves as plural or really any way of not seeing oneself as One Singular Self (whether it has to do with a disorder or it's a cultural/religious/etc. reason). Or I guess that does make me interested in syscourse. Just not echo chamber syscourse.

Like I'm sorry but y'all are fucking mean. I LOVE having discussions where I can learn and understand other perspectives. I guess to steal SAS's label, I'm very pro-syscourse conversation (though—and this isn't to bash SAS AT ALL—to me that feels redundant because syscourse is supposed to be conversation anyway. But it's not so the label is necessary). I want to learn. I want to be educated. I want to discuss this, even with people who disagree with me, because I want knowledge of other perspectives.

But it is so hard to find syscourse spaces that AREN'T echo chamber syscourse spaces. The desire to attain knowledge is stomped out by attaching inherent morality to labels that can be boiled down to one argument: Do you or do you not believe that plurality is exclusive to CDDs?

And shockingly this has more nuance than "endos are/n't valid". What may cause someone to see themselves as plural without a CDD? And the answers are vast and could be a FASCINATING discussion. Not even necessarily a debate, just learning more about people. And yet the answer to this question isn't even considered before so many people just go "[extremely loud incorrect buzzer noise]" and shut it down.

Maybe, ironically, this is me struggling to understand perspective. But I don't understand the lack of interest in wanting to understand, despite having experienced it myself. And even that, I want to understand. But I know that the fact that because of the nature of my opinions, I would be marked pro-endo, and shut out of that discussion. And it's INFURIATING because I respect the fact that they don't want to interact with me but I just don't understand!

There is endless room for discussion that's shut out and it's frustrating. It's heartbreaking. I want there to be discussion. But there won't be until the echo chambers start to open their fucking eyes.

I remember the moment for me was when someone in the Twitter dissociatwt community who I really respected, who always provided good resources, who was reliable and kind and honest...was pro-syscourse conversation. And my knee-jerk reaction was almost betrayal. How could someone that I respected be a pro-endo??

But I realized that they didn't stop being reliable because of this. Some of y'all will discount doctors who have been studying plurality, trauma, and dissociation longer than some of you have been alive because they're a stinky smelly "pro-endo". Therapists and doctors and the like who go "Why isn't it possible" get discounted because of this when they, too, just want to understand. Because with all due respect and in the most positive way, they're a bunch of nerds. And I don't understand. I don't understand how you can do that.

And that's really the thing. I don't understand and I'm not given the space to understand because my stance is somehow morally wrong. I'm not virtue signaling right. Sometimes for both sides. And it's awful.

TL;DR, I don't understand and am frustrated by echo chamber syscourse. That's it. That's all this long-ass post is saying. I don't get it. It didn't need a post but a lot of me just started Talking and did not stop.

[majestie-majesty]

Uhh rant under cut

Very much off topic but I've been having nothing but a tough time as an artist, not a single commision and I'm super close to finishing highschool. Always pressured to sell something so I dont need to work at a supermarket cause that's just too much work apperantly for me, cause according to everybody I'm too "lazy". Even though I try my best at school and drawing, I'm being told that I need to draw what's popular and not what I want cause people wont buy or see my work, which sadly is true. Worst part is I've been trying to hide whatever things I like to avoid an audience getting salty with me because of the things I like or say or whatever (fear of being canceled over innocent things but idk if the internet agrees w that or not) nothing cause I'm not anyone famous or popular at all, but maybe the negative 0 commissioners could become -0 if I talk about my interest lol, so I try to draw meaningless art of characters I like and my OCs. It takes me nowhere, I'm afraid I'll never be a successful artist or even person.

I just want to know if I'm the only one out there who goes through this on a daily basis, being compared to someone bigger and better and more successful and also complaining about how shit we consider our own art, I know I do think it's not the best anyways, in the end, I dont even wanna do art commisions I'm just being forced to, if it was up to me I'd pursue my dream of studying animation and drawing a manga of my ocs that I'd animate for fun on my own. But I use an old ipad air from 2020, which limits every single thing I do. I can barely draw on it too.

I'm not forcing anyone but, I'd love if you atleast would share. My commisions info is pinned in my profile.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Adding to the “Velvette is the glue of the Vees” convo (and possible slightly out of character interpretation)

I feel like Vox and Valentino definitely need somebody to confide in other than a fuck-buddy y’know?

Like just a (somewhat) stable friend or business partner no sex involved

…Who they’ll sometimes cuddle on the couch with and bitch about their day to each other

I hc Velvette in all her independent girlboss glory can grow clingy towards those she’s attached herself to - that being Vox and Valentino

Say Vox and Val have an argument Velvette wasn’t around for, so they’re both pissed at each other - Velvette comes to their little shared common space, completely drained from work and drapes herself over whoever is there

Valentino; will immediately start bitching to her but also scoop her up and plop on the couch, maybe get some snacks and drinks as they both recharge

Vox; stays quiet - doesn’t like talking after an argument but will do something similar, maybe go into his office instead to stalk someone while having Velvette in his lap. Velvette is just there doom scrolling on her phone or taking a nap while Vox rubs her back

Whoever Velvette runs into first - she can sense the argument happened. So once she’s recharged and taken care of herself - she’ll text them something stupid like “Can’t sleep. Come here. Now.” without telling Vox or Valentino that the other one will be there - both of them go in her room and are - pissed lol

(Think of that Spongebob episode where Squidward tries to make Patrick and SpongeBob be friends again 💀)

But yeah uhmmm Velvette’s gonna 1. Address the issue directly 2. Force both Vox and Valentino to sleep with her bc she’s too tired to deal with them but will force them into the awkward situation cause she wants the entertainment

If scenario 2 happens Velvette is obviously sandwiched in between Vox and Valentino while they stare at each other angrily. Whoever speaks way too loud first gets punched by Velvette (happens multiple times) so they’re forced to quietly “discuss their issues” while Velvette is playing dumb and pretending to sleep - eventually things do work out and they all fall asleep

I don’t even know where I was going with this it’s incredibly disorganized I just like ranting about the Vees help - love silly Velvette headcanons where she’s the one who’s in control I guess lol

I totally agree with like half of what you've written - with the part taht Vox and Valentino both need someone to confide with. None of them has a lot of opportunities to be just comfortable with another person. Sure they have each other but romantic relatisohips are often more "loaded" than frienships and while they can grant deeper connection, they also generate greater tension. That's why lifelong frienships are way more common than lifelong romances.

But I don't find the idea of Velvette's infantilization appealing, sorry. She strikes me as a person who craves to be feared and respected, to the level that it feels almost like overcompesating for her young age (compared to other Overlords) and non-threatening form. I don't see why would she allow anyone, even her friends to treat her like a plushie. Especially when those friends are power hungry maniacs who nutoriously prey on people they see as weaker.

That doesn't mean I think your headcanon is wrong or bad. It just doesn't allign with my own interpretation. Which is perfectly fine, they can't even be compared in their accuracy in relation to canon because we barely have any canon. So please, don't take it personally - I love you have fun with your ideas, that's the most important part of fandom <3

[koolades-world]

Hi hi! Just wanted to start off by saying I love your work ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Anyways I was wondering if you could do some comfort hcs for an mc that has IBD? You’re fine if you don’t want to write for this since it’s pretty uncommon from my understanding.

Note: I felt it important to say since there’s lots of misconceptions floating around (cough cough TikTok-)that IBD has lots to do with diet. Either it playing a role in the cause or for treating it. Which all the specialists I’ve seen have said diet is neither the leading cause nor is it the solution. All it is that some foods irritate for no particular reason and should generally be avoided.

Sorry if I overshared lol I’ve just had people tell on multiple occasions that it’s a diet thing when it’s not- it’s an autoimmune disease.

Thanks so much for reading my little impromptu rant. Again you don’t have to write for it if don’t wish to due to it being a very niche topic. Anyways hope you’re well stay safe.

-🪴🧺

hi!!! of course I can! no worries about oversharing or anything, i actually didn't know that was a misconception and help me out :)

i'm almost certain i have ibs (long story short i couldn't get diagnosed but it runs a very clear path in my family and all of my symptoms match up exactly the same it's like it was copy and pasted) and of course so i could properly write this i did a little research, and based on what you said and what i read, it sounds like people are getting the two mixed up which is something that could be fixed by a simple google search :( i'm so sorry you have to deal with people like that

i hope i did you justice and this could be a little respite in your day. enjoy <3

Mc with IBD

Lucifer

he tries his best to make your days better in little ways!

gift baskets will randomly appear in your room filled with things you'd only mentioned in passing that you wanted or needed to him

if you're feeling up for it, he'll take you out for a meal at least once a week to make you feel special. it might not be fancy every time, but you can still feel the love

if you're not though, no worries! he'll do something equally as nice at home for you with food he made himself

Mammon

if you need surgery, he's becoming your personal nurse while you heal!

every moment he can be, he's by your side

lots of cute little forehead kisses and magically producing your favorite candies from behind his back for you

you won't even have to lift a finger to change what you're watching on tv, let mammon take care of it <3

Levi

he's the king of staying in, so if you don't feel like going out, his room is always open to you!

you don't even need a password to get in, because it's you

if you're ever feeling down or unwell because of your ibd, he always lets you have full control over what you do

if you play a game like minecraft together, he'll always have surprises ready for you so next time you play, you'll find it <3

Satan

he's curious about your medication and does extensive research into it

he always makes sure any painkillers or other meds you might take won't interfere with your ibd meds!

he will recommend the over the counter painkillers if you want them that have the least amount of bad side effects, such as tylenol because he hates to see you in pain

he's got lots of connections and will use them in any way possible if it could possible help you

Asmo

he's the best at making sure you take good care of yourself!

if you're bad about taking your meds, he'll get you a cute little pill divider

will also get a matching equally cute water bottle that you can use to help take the pills

he ensure everything can be done while being fashionable, because he finds that it makes things more bearable for him, so why not his favorite person too?

Beel

he knows quite a lot about supplements and vitamins, so if you take them, he's asking you questions about them because he just wants to get to know you better

he is always there for you if you need someone to talk to, or just want to rant/vent

provides the best comfort and warm hugs :)

Belphie

like his twin, he also gives great hugs

he's your number one fan of course! he's always with you even if you're not in your bed

it may take all of his energy, but if you want to go out, he's going with you no matter what

he'll even share his signature cow pillow with you 🥺

[finalfantasyx]

Yue Yao (because I need to scream about her awesomeness and the dangers of retconning), Yue Qing, and How NOT to Write Women - A Rant(TM) about Dashing Youth & The Blood of Youth

Spoilers ahead for Dashing Youth and The Blood of Youth if you have not seen either live action drama, since we haven't gotten there in the donghua yet. You have been duly warned. Now come scream with me. I've been wanting to scream about this for a while.

Okay, what the hell??? Prefacing this again with the fact that I watched Dashing Youth before TBOY and I'm just...floored? Yue Yao was so interesting. She was up against some major political issues where the repercussions of her choices and the choices made by the people around her would impact and probably, most likely, cause the deaths of thousands. She was dealing with a missing father who, for all they knew, could have been dead, a clingy sister-turned-annoying-character-trope, the fate of her people, and also the fate of all of Beili and Beique (I mean, seriously, you want to talk about Yi Wenjun being at fault for instigating the three-way war between Nanjue, Tianwaitian, and Beili, AND SHE WASN'T ACTUALLY AT FAULT ASIDE FROM NOT COMMUNICATING WITH HER HUSBAND BEFORE MAKING A HUGE DECISION THAT WOULD IMPACT THEM ALL and leaving her infant son in the house BY HIMSELF, PLEASE Yue Yao would have been directly responsible for all the deaths resulting from any move she made), all the while trying to find a way to do what was best for everyone AND getting to know the prodigy and dumbass with a heart that was Baili Dongjun, whose grandfather Baili Luochen helped Beili in the war with Beique that resulted in her people being killed and displaced to the unforgiving north.

/breathe

And oh, does she ever find a way. Baby girl decides to just DIY this whole shebang when she finds the natural-born martial arts prodigies with the special meridians or whatever the hell the drama said it was that set Baili Dongjun and Ye Dingzhi apart from alllll the other martial arts practitioners and just takes her sworn sister's identity, gets a makeover, and BAM joins the Jixia Academy...audition.

Not only that, but we see that she is more than her pretty clothes and her miss-fairy-in-a-carriage persona that we've seen up until this point in the drama. SHE CAN FIGHT! SHE CAN BEAT SOMEONE'S ASS! SHE CAN CHEAT AND GAMBLE! SHE STRAIGHT UP APPROACHES BAILI DONGJUN AND CHALLENGES HIM. SHE. APPROACHES. HIM. FIRST. Also it's really freakin' cute.

SHE STANDS UP FOR HERSELF AND HER TEAMMATES AND PROTECTS THEM. SHE SAVES BAILI DONGJUN'S TAIL. SHE'S GOT HER OWN WAY OF THINKING AND SHE'S FUNNY AS HELL. SHE SLAPS HIM CLEAN ACROSS THE FACE FOR GOING TO A BROTHEL.

We see her enter Jixia Academy, we see her train under Liu Yue (which I am still salty about because we could have used a lot more scenes of her and Liu Yue training and just being master/apprentice, see her having a hard time with really just using Liu Yue to stay near Baili Dongjun for her own/Beique's ends, especially with Liu Yue declaring that he doesn't care about her true identity, just that she is now his apprentice and that means that he's always on her side please Liu Yue was the best and he got fking nuked at the end, even if he got to retire from jianghu with Mo Xiaohei lol), WE SEE HER STRUGGLE. This entire time, Yue Yao is absolutely torn between a) doing what is best for her people, b) doing what is best for everyone and not causing the deaths of thousands, and c) not falling for the guy whose grandfather is a war hero because he killed her people.

Also the fact that this dumbass she is falling in love with has been pining after her miss-fairy-in-a-carriage persona for so long he has no clue she's right in front of him. Good job, Dongjun /pat pat

Let's play this out.

If Yue Yao a) does what is best for her people, which everyone thinks is reclaiming Beili, a warmer and far more fertile land, and creating better lives for themselves, that would incite another war and cause many, many deaths. Also, there's a very, very high possibility that Beique might lose anyway!

If Yue Yao b) does what is best for everyone and not cause another war and the deaths of thousands, she is condemning her own people to a harsh life in the cold, icy, desolate north.

If Yue Yao c) falls for the guy whose grandfather is a war hero because he killed her people, she will be seen as a traitor and will be turned on because they'll think she turned on them first, especially since she is basically their princess.

What's a girl to do.

SHE FREAKIN' OWNS UP TO IT AND COMES CLEAN with Baili Dongjun and her followers, Mo Qixuan and Zi Yuji. She does not lie to them and is up front about her vision and what she wants to do for her people and for herself, because they don't have to be mutually exclusive things. She follows her heart; she knows that while she wants a better life for her people, it cannot be found in a new war with Beili to settle old grudges and claim old land. She wants to find a new home for them.

Yue 👏 Yao 👏 is 👏 so 👏 great.

...Only for all of that buildup in the first half of the drama to go absolutely nowhere as her vision is never recognized. She returns to Tianwaitian only to be locked up for betraying Beique with zero timeline as to how long she was locked up for and how she actually got out of the cage. There were no repercussions for her escaping or leaving. In fact, as soon as she leaves Tianwaitian, Yue Yao's character basically stops caring for Beique, and she literally did not matter to the plot going forward. Her people in Tianwaitian never find a better home for themselves. They never get to leave the far north, never reclaim their old kingdom, and never get to rebuild, even before Ye Dingzhi establishes the Demon Sect. Ergo, even if we disregard the events of TBOY, Yue Yao still doesn't get to help her people and all of that development was useless.

Instead, after all that talk about wanting to find a better home and do better by her people, after all the character development and establishment, after all the scenes where we get to see that Yue Yao has a backbone and the fighting skills to prove it, she ends up as arm candy for Baili Dongjun for the next like seven years while the two of them remained unmarried. Um??????????

Why build up all that character and her skills and her relationships with Liu Yue, Baili Dongjun, her freakin' sister, and Mo Qixuan/Zi Yuji only for all of them to basically go kaput? Even with Baili Dongjun, most of the time, she's...just there. Just...looking pretty. Not doing anything.

No one waits seven years to get married, especially when they're in such close quarters like Yue Yao and Baili Dongjun were pre-war and during the war. This makes zero sense, and honestly just cheapens their already-sad relationship even more because it shows a lack of respect on his part. There's no denying that he does love her, but the respect, which is based off of the values of the people in their time, is not there, whether for her honor, virtue, or just the progression of their relationship. Seven years is a long time, especially in period Chinese dramas (and reality, back in those times) when two people are hanging out in an established relationship.

Yue Yao is displeased.

And then we come to the problem of her sister, Yue Qing, who has decided to play a self-insert victim and villain, somehow both at the same time by not actually being relevant to the plot and generally not actually being good at anything at all.

Her motivation: Yue Yao is her older sister, the one she has always looked up to, and she sucks at being the eldest princess and has essentially abandoned them to chase after the sweet, sweet tail that is Neo Hou in a period drama. Ergo, Yue Qing needs to leave Beique to find the other special person martial arts prodigy, Ye Dingzhi, and homegirl does her best to manipulate the hell out of this poor, traumatized kid in order to get him back to Beique and free her father so that they can march on Beili and reclaim their kingdom. He sees right through her though, and because there is no way in the eighteen levels of hell she can beat him in a fight, and she tries, she goes back to his doorway like a kicked puppy every time he throws her out because it's clear she has no idea what on earth she's doing except that she thinks she's all that and has every reason to condemn thousands of people to their deaths so that she can incite a new war for a better life for the people of Tianwaitian.

In the same way that Yue Yao was SO great in the first half of Dashing Youth, we do not give two shakes about Yue Qing and how she is barely even relevant to the plot, because if you stuck Mo Qixuan or Zi Yuji in there to manipulate this poor bastard, the result would have ended up the same way and she does not impact the story whatsoever.

And then Ye Dingzhi saves Yue Qing's life, and all of a sudden, she understands why her sister decided to go with Baili Dongjun instead of staying in Beique, according to the story lore. It also doesn't hurt that he's pretty and he's feeding her medicine and didn't just...let her die.

PFFFFFFFFFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Yue Qing, the bar is on the floor. Also girl, you manipulated him and used him and he does not care for or about you. In fact, the only reason he saved your life was because he lashed out at you and almost killed you and felt guilty for it before he proceeded to throw you out again.

Because Ye Dingzhi is untouchable at this point, Yue Qing proceeds to then manipulate his wife, Yi Wenjun (which is another convoluted story point because she's already married and is a secondary consort to Xiao Ruojin who is an absolute monster in the actual worst way, which is why I did not feel a lick of empathy or sympathy for him in TBOY--I mean, he put her under using some drugs and it was HEAVILY IMPLIED that he gr@ped her while she was completely unconscious and everyone just kind of breezes over this plot point in the dramas), and sends her back to Tianqi by spreading false news of Xiao Yu being really, really sick (causing problems even at a young age, I see). Because of this, Ye Dingzhi is then manipulated into going to Beique to free Yue Qing and Yue Yao's father so that he can be number one in the world and take his wife back, blahhhh blah blah.

AND THEN THEIR FATHER DIES after a confrontation between him, Baili Dongjun, and Ye Dingzhi, and it's almost like Yue Qing and Yue Yao are pitting their respective special martial arts person against each other because they're both natural-born wumai which is NOT actually a thing, and I don't even understand what it is and do not care to actually translate this; IT'S SUPER DUMB.

And because the official leader of Beique, Yue Yao and Yue Qing's father, dies, Ye Dingzhi goes full demon mode and takes over the people of Tianwaitian and establishes the Demon Sect by uniting all 30-something sects in the outer regions of Beili, which was supposedly impossible until this point. He then begins the infamous three-way war between Beili, Nanjue, and Tianwaitian which Yi Wenjun then gets blamed for instigating.

UMMMM??? DOES THIS NOT SOUND FAMILIAR??? DO WE NOT ALSO KNOW OF A WOMAN WHO WAS SAID TO BE SO BEAUTIFUL THAT MEN WENT TO WAR FOR HER AND LAID SIEGE TO AN ENTIRE FREAKIN' CITY WHICH IS NOW A FAMOUS TRAGEDY? DID THE DIRECTORS OF THIS DRAMA WANT A CDRAMA VERSION?

(in case anyone is lost, the answer is Troy. It's Helen of Troy.)

Also, RUDE that her "instigating" this war is what she is known for, even in The Blood of Youth. Yi Wenjun gets blamed for this massive, awful historical event when the only thing she did was be manipulated by Yue Qing using her child. Like, what on earth /eye roll

It was also never talked about how she was coerced into this marriage by her father in TBOY (which we find out in DY) and that this was never something she wanted anyway. Also the gr@pe because that was completely unnecessary and again, breezed over by every single character in Dashing Youth, which, also, WHY did it have to happen that way? Xiao Yu's existence in TBOY could literally be explained by "marital duties" or "wedding night" or something even if the spouses hated each other, did y'all really have to sink to gr@pe????? Especially since I watch dramas for escapism and fantasy and not historical accuracy because of course this has happened probably many times over the course of history. I am angry.

We find out later that Yue Qing is locked up by Ye Dingzhi and then just dies via suicide in prison at the end of the three-way war while Yue Yao rides off into the sunset with Baili Dongjun in her fairy carriage, intent on marrying her at last after SEVEN AND A HALF YEARS TOGETHER, YES I DID THE FREAKING MATH (let me know if anyone needs an approximate timeline).

Following this trainwreck and what Dashing Youth has established, we get to the canon in The Blood of Youth, which takes place twelve years after the prequel. Now that the twelve-year pact between Tianwaitian and Beili where Ye Anshi, the son of Ye Dingzhi and Yi Wenjun, is a hostage in Beili is over, the story picks up where we see our heroes in the following places:

Baili Dongjun: Master of Xueyue City and a depressed drunk after (we learn later) mistakenly killing his wife because he was manipulated into doing so, making this the biggest regret of his life

Yue Yao: dead. Was dead before Tang Lian stepped foot into Xueyue City, and was dead because someone manipulated Baili Dongjun into thinking Yue Yao was Yue Qing and he kills her.

...wait what? But...but I thought Yue Qing died in the prison even before Baili Dongjun and Yue Yao got married in canon? I think we're told in TBOY that Yue Yao blocked an attack for her sister or died for her sister or something via her husband attacking her thinking she was her sister or I DON'T KNOW it's not really clear. The point is, the events of both dramas can't both be true or canon at the same time.

Aaaaaand we've hit one of the biggest retcon snags between the two dramas. Shifting the focus over to the problem with retcons, my first question is this: DY directors and producers, you guys had the perfect template and formula since The Blood of Youth exists and had such incredible ratings. Y'all already have a world and a story and storyline and characters to work with and are able to entirely and completely plan ahead. How did y'all come up with this dumpster fire???? And it's not even a good dumpster fire?? How could Yue Qing cause Yue Yao's death, which we are told is what happens in Baili Dongjun's dream in TBOY, if she's dead??

Other honorable problematic retcon mentions:

There's a specific voiceover at the end of DY telling us what happened to the main characters at the end of the war, and though in TBOY the story said that Lei Mengsha died fighting against Nanjue, we are shown that he and Xiao Ruofeng are both fine and victorious. WHAT???

In TBOY, we are told by Li Suwang of the Sword Heart Tomb that his daughter, Li Xinyue first met Lei Mengsha at the Sword Heart Tomb when he and his buddy his pal Baili Dongjun stopped by and convinced her to duel and then roam jianghu with them. We see that at the beginning of Dashing Youth, Lei Mengsha actually meets Baili Dongjun a LOT later in the narrative, and by then, Li Hanyi is already about five years old and Lei Mengsha and Li Xinyue have been married for A While.

Yin Luoxia and Yue Yao are shown to be sworn sisters who met and became extremely close even before the events of DY, even closer than Yue Qing and Yue Yao at their absolute tightest. Luoxia lives in Xueyue City in TBOY. She knows Baili Dongjun personally. THEY DID NOT INTERACT. SHE DIDN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT YUE YAO ONCE IN ALL THE SCREENTIME THAT SHE HAD.

Sikong Changfeng says in TBOY that Li Hanyi is four years younger than him, but started studying under their master first and this is also why she is the Second City Master and he is the Third. This is only half true; while Li Changsheng took Li Hanyi in as an apprentice, she was literally like five or six at the time. Nangong Chunshui then proceeded to take on Sikong Changfeng not long after, but Sikong Changfeng by then was already a teenager headed into his adult years. Like, he's at least eighteen when Dashing Youth starts.

Speaking of Sikong Changfeng, TBOY says that the healer Hua Jin is his shimei, his younger martial sister from their master, the number one healer in the world, Xin Baicao. DY shows us that they met the one time where Xin Baicao was told by Baili Dongjun's uncle (who was a top poison user and the two of them got into competitions all the time wink wink cough cough) to save Sikong Changfeng's life. Sikong Changfeng stayed in the Medicine Valley for something like six months, all the while studiously not learning medicine from Xin Baicao and instead focuses on his spearwork and fighting skills. Also, Hua Jin isn't in DY at all.

This one is less of a retcon issue and more of a gripe, Baili Dongjun was literal childhood friends and best buds with Ye Dingzhi. Wuxin/Ye Anshi would literally be the equivalent of his nephew/godson. Do we get to see them interact at all aside from like 5 seconds in DY???? No. We do not. WE WERE CHEATED.

Another gripe, Sikong Changfeng and Baili Dongjun were bros in Dashing Youth, and have been for many years (according to my math, it's 21 years between the beginning of Dashing Youth and The Blood of Youth) and did we get to see them actually interact in TBOY??? NO.

Oh, with all this talk of Sikong Changfeng, another gripe about HOW TO NOT WRITE WOMEN--Feng Qiuyu (who is she, you may ask???).

She is, my friends, the mother of Sikong Qianluo.

BUT DO WE REALLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER? No. WE BARELY REMEMBER HER NAME. SHE WAS LITERALLY WRITTEN INTO DASHING YOUTH SO THAT SIKONG CHANGFENG COULD MEET HER AND SIKONG QIANLUO COULD BE BORN. SHE WAS ON SCREEN FOR A MAX OF 5 MINUTES DURING THE DRAMA AND WAS NEVER REALLY SEEN OR TALKED ABOUT AGAIN EXCEPT FOR LIKE A MINUTE AT THE END. WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THE COURTESY OF KNOWING SHE DIED BEFORE TBOY; WE HAVE TO PUT IT TOGETHER USING CONTEXT CLUES.

I AM YELLING.

Man, I started this rant really just wanting to talk about how best girl Yue Yao was done super dirty by the producers/writers of DY, but the more I thought about it and analyzed and wrote it all down, the more I got to the underlying issue of just the less-than-lackluster way this already-awfully-written drama treated their women, the angrier I got.

All this to say, Dashing Youth does not write or treat their women very well and that, my dears, is bullshit.

[ca-suffit]

sorry how long this is, but this fandom is pissing me off so much and I need to rant a little before I explode lol.

-- madeleine (nonchalantly) says of sleeping with a literal nazi, "I was inviting a frightened boy to cradle my tits," and then when louis turns her we see this as a pleasant memory, and I'm supposed to believe someone who could take pity on a nazi (even if he "wasn't dedicated to the cause") and remember him fondly isn't going to be racist? so I'm the weird one for finding claudeine to be a gross ship and being exasperated by seeing edits of them flood my dash? and every time I talk about this on ANY platform, I mostly get ignored and the few people who do interact w my posts are denying it and saying she had to do it to survive, as if she didn't also literally say she grew up rich like 30 seconds prior.

-- a decent chunk of the anti lestat crowd insists he participated in the trial as an act of revenge and can't say his name w/o talking about how they hate him (bc his racism + abuse), and these are the same people going apeshit over ben daniels saying that santiago was gay and in love with armand, as if he isn't one of the most antiblack characters we've met on the show bc he was quite literally eager to put on the trial solely bc he hated louis for falling asleep during one of his performances. and don't get me started on his monologue about claudia's ashes. and yet ppl are excitedly eating ben's interview up. 🙄

-- the narrative literally showing us that lestat has changed since the attempted murder (going off script on the trial in defense of louis & claudia, taking accountability for his abuse, staying silent about the fact that he was the one to save louis & letting him leave w armand when we know how terrifying being alone is for lestat, spending decades living in that shack and eating rats to punish himself vs the hedonistic & decadent lifestyle we saw him living in s1) and the anti lestat crowd claiming this is just him being manipulative and are furious that the writers had louis forgive him. like normally I agree that it's in very poor taste to paint an abuser as sympathetic, but the thing about this show is that these characters are immortal and have all the time in the world to change. like this isn't the writers sweeping it under the rug, they're explicitly acknowledging how horrific lestat's behavior was and there are literally canon glimpses showing us that lestat has become a better person (and I'm sure this will be fleshed out more next season as we'll get his pov) and, like, isn't it a good thing to see an abusive character realize the error of their ways and alter their behavior and become better????? like it's fair to not want to see that, but this is the wrong show to be watching if you can't handle seeing abusers change their ways & being forgiven by the people they've hurt (especially since it's pretty much confirmed armand/daniel is going to happen at some point and given I'm sure they'll be circling around each other, I feel confident that louis will eventually forgive armand too)

ur fine, u can rant! I have a lot in my inbox but I try to get to it all eventually in whatever way.

idk how much u wanted me to comment on anything or not, but I'm gonna add comments and u do whatever u want with it.

a) ur never going to have an easy time criticizing a white woman in fandom. it reflects too much of what fandom is usually made up of and ppl will usually tell u it's misogyny to judge these characters if u ever try (most of the time it's not, but that's a convenient excuse to shut down convos).

the show intentionally makes everyone do p questionable shit, especially the white characters. it doesn't tell u how to feel about it, that's up to u. that makes ppl uncomfortable. it goes further too when it is someone like madeleine, who is otherwise seen in positive ways. it's reflective of real life and that's what scares ppl the most. nobody ever fits in a box of only "good" or "bad." a lot of what the book for IWTV asks too is what defines that anyways? and S1 also said "are we the sum of our worst moments?" so it is constantly asking u that and it is for u to decide and reflect on.

b) white, gay stuff is also gonna be popular in fandoms. ben daniels is also gay irl and his husband just died so there's crossover from that to praising his character bcuz ppl feel sympathy for him. I also think ppl detach more from his actions bcuz he's not romantically linked to the characters he's torturing. ppl also just honestly dgaf about antiblackness anyways so for most ppl it's easy to overlook. which is how we get posts like this.

I mean, u can also like whatever characters u like for any reason. some ppl like characters not bcuz they support what they do, but bcuz they're just enjoyable to watch in performance or connection to the plot or whatever. I think examining santiago after what ben said about his performance is something ppl should be able to do, and again it circles back to the stuff I wrote for madeleine. where does ur (general u) discomfort lie and why? as u said, if it's ppl who dislike lestat then it's worth looking at that too, why are the characters different then?

c) there's sort of 2 things happening for this part. the first is that 2x8 did have pacing issues, for whatever reasons. a lot of ppl felt like it flattened the plot and characters for the sake of making lestat look the best (over armand) and rly shoving it in out of nowhere. the second part is what u said about the themes. I've always figured they were going to explore forgiveness and personal growth, but I also know it isn't going to be easy for ppl to follow. hopefully the full seasons coming do a better job of this but for 2x8 there were a lot of reasons ppl felt crazy about the way it was shown to us. I also agree that other characters will have these journeys with each other too. it was just such a sharp turn for S2 to end on highlighting the white character we've otherwise seen as being p horrible and suddenly saying "it's the brown character who rly did the worst!" I don't think they intended to come across like that but it's how it landed for a lot of ppl. it doesn't mean ppl have an issue with the concept of forgiveness and stuff otherwise. we'll have to see how it goes. but ya there's 2 things going on there for this rn.