#someone get me a fucking drink already
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It's Mistress Di's weekly "thank fuck that work week is over, where are the girls and do they know I'm tickling them for 4 hours straight" post 🎉🎉🎉 fr, just a bizarre week, but weekends were made to cleanse the soul. And just a reminder, we're in the middle of the Nylon Renaissance 👀 where we all finally agree that nylon tickling is the best tickling, and tickling someone beyond their limits (consensually, let's not be fuckwits here) and in fun and unique scenarios is the healthiest way to spend a weekend 💖
In summation: Spend the next few days telling the Lers, Lees and Switches you like talking to that you appreciate them, and indulge unashamedly. Mistress's orders.
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Please ignore if this is too personal but IIRC you were/are dealing with caffeine addiction? I hope you're doing Ok, as a former addict I know how hard it is so wishing you the best xx
thank you for checking in!!
i'm doing very well!! i haven't cut out coffee completely bc i really don't think i can (it's been one of my daily pleasures for SO long), but right now i only have 1-2 espresso shots and i don't even have it every day anymore
also remembering that i used to have 4-6 shots per drink, sometimes multiple times a day, makes me want to throw up now which is probably a good sign ajkdhdsh
#ramble#tw addiction#i've always felt weird calling it an addiction bc like. it was just coffee and it feels like bastardising a little bit#but i mean it was a habit i couldn't live without and it was making my life actively worse so i feel like it qualifies#the fact that someone checks in on me every couple of months is very sweet :'))#if you're asking how i was like. ok. during the worst of it#amazing question. i was NOT#as someone who already has digestive issues idk why the fuck i did that to myself sjhdhdsh#i'm starting my job soon and i'm a bit worried it's going to get bad again so if it does i'll switch fully to decaf#it's not even about the energy i just like having a fun little drink in the middle of the day#so if i have to stop having caffeine completely it shouldn't be that bad#as long as i have my syrups and my milk frother i'll be grand
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The thing w the silly "no one does anything on this site" poll post that makes it so funny is that people TALK on here like they do things and then just...don't. And it's fine to not do things! But when someone who has never had sex talks about being a slut or someone who does not interact with their local lgbt community in real life calls themselves a "queer elder" it's just funny to me idk. Not just the "no one does anything" site but the role playing site. But instead of pretending to be a kickass centaur you're pretending to have an offline social life.
#tcp#making this unrebloggable bc the role players would get too upset even though once again: it's fine if u don't want to do these things#I'm never going to advocate doing drugs or drinking as a hobby lol it can fuck your life up not to sound lame but like as someone who's#actually been there done that. it can. and doing those things doesn't automatically give you a personality. BUT#it is weird to me how often people on here will talk abt being slutty but they don't like casual sex. or try to speak on lgbt community#issues but don't partake in the actual community (which does in fact mandate offline community action). and it's like ok so if u want#to do those things...go do them. yk? maybe it's just bc i didn't start being very online until i was already an adult and had done#these things but i simply don't get it
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i genuinely cannot stand being around ppl who have to take their anger out on others . i'm so sick of always having to act like the bigger person to my Older brother while he can just tornado around my entire life & belongings & relationships without warrant all over smthing that had absolutely nothing to do with you or anyone, rlly.
#but HE runs and tells on ME?#i was just going to let shit blow over#lock myself away as fucking alwys like when we were little and he would cuss up a fucking storm#screaming crying and throwing the shit i bought over being unable to beat a game he plays every fucking day#set on fucking Easy mode#and hes hitting a bat into the door or wrecking my shit in my room or fucking. yelling abt me to the fuckin dog#and in the 'dog's voice' making the animal agree with him bcs im? acting crazy#over a fcking video game that u cant even tell him to turn off or at least stop fucking screaming and wailing or else it'll just set it off#sooner#when dad did it he was fcking drunk and i was illegitimate#it's like i cant even fcking escape fcking hell.#hiding all my bad grades in math bcs i couldnt read a stupid fking number right bcs i didnt want ppl screaming at me#for causing even more trouble than they already have to deal with and just living as dumb bcs it costs less#ill get over it ill try harder#i always have to be the bigger fucking man and im so fucking tired of it#but how are u supposed to cut off someone youve been assigned caretaker as b4 u were even born#im so fucking exhausted#anyways so yea. im pretty sensitive to tone so if i seem like a baby to smthing i apologize#i rlly just. cant stand sme things sometimes#i love getting told i never felt like a friend to my other siblings not only bcs of our massive age gap but also theyre legitimate and#i dont drink or smoke so apparently we cant hang without them always checking the time on their phones#while im taking them out to smthing they like like it's so fun i fcking love it here#anyways yea. love zero comprehension or compassion. love it. loving my life
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horror sans has an iron deficiency because i think i have one and therefore he deserves one. get hit with the static after standing up too fast BITCH
#horror is just my little guinea pig huh#first i give him my nail biting thingy. then the fear of bugs. and now this#he's the white board im the marker and i get to put whatever the fuck i want onto him#horror has ALL deficiencies. he has scurvy someone give him orange juice#its ok because he also rubs off on me. i've been a bit more of an asshole than usual and i think its him#triglycercule is that just your fancy way of saying youre a goddamn dick????#no..... i dont think 🙁 its a real thing that happens to me i swear...........#the static after standing up too fast is a REAL THING I HATE IT#it feels like i have a stamina bar over my head and when i stand up too fast i run out of stamina#so i just have to wait for a few seconds for the static and dizziness to go away#triglycercule you should eat more meat or whatever the fuck contains more iron#NO!!!! NO!!!!! you cant force me i already drink enough water thats all ill do to eat healthy#tricule hc
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bridgerton s2 was SUCH a clayhoun slay. thots in tags
#henry clay the ACCOMPLISHED rake (also a marquis and the richest man in the county)#who apparently ruined a girls honor and left her at the altar when she was engaged to someone else#the secret is that thats not true.. she was engaged against her will and he 'ruined her honor' so her fiancee would dump her#now his reputation is ~scandalous~ but like nobody cares about all the naughty stuf fhe does do (cards gambling horse racing drinking snuff#anyways duke tom benton visits him in the country seat hes retired to to do scientific farming and raise racehorses#(tom is the cousin of the girl that he ~ruined~. he almost challenged him to a duel but his cousin stopped him)#like. ok. soooooo I need your help#in love. with this guy. but. his older half brother HATES me and will NOT let us have a single god damn moment together#please help.... i know you.... sometimes do that sort of thing for people 🤔#clay flipping switches from Aw yeah i fucked your cousin lol get at me to UGH i cant believe lucretia fucking narced#benton like please. i will truly do anything sir. and clay like well..... thats a handsome arabian stud you bought last season..#whats a horse to a husband anyways? dont you love this fellow? all I want is a silly little animal!#anyways at first he tries to pretend to court mr hayne. so that benton looks like the more palatable option to mr calhoun#but hayne is instantly like Im ever so sorry! but if your intents are matrimonial i am already spoken for! <3 so sorry!!#clay like hm. welll. fine I guess I gotta seduce the older brother now#mr calhoun... the serious argumentative not-noble lawyer who s fighting suitors off his rich charming half brother with a pool cue#clay instantly falls in lust. and then quickly thereafter in love...#THE DRAMA.... THE ROMANCE... THE BOSOM CLUTCHING.... CLAY SNIFFING HOUN .. SO UNSERIOUS!!#bridgie3 came out and im nutlost. thats the post
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Person A: Do you want a beer? I’m paying.
Person B, going through the restaurant’s menu: No. Ugh, where’s the good stuff?
Person A, half jokingly: I thought you were an alcoholic.
Person B: Exactly. I’d need at least, like, four beers — without food — to get slightly buzzed, and my stomach can’t fit over 2 beers in it. I’m small. I’ll have a rum, neat.
#source: me#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes ideas#incorrect quotes prompts#tw: drug mention#tw: drugs#i used to be so small when all i did was heroin and ketamine. since i started drinking (i only started drinking every night because the-#-opiate withdrawal was so fucking bad alcohol was the only thing that kept my legs from kicking all night long and my skin from feeling-#-like it was on cold wet fire somehow)#anyway. when all i did was opiates ™ i was like 45 kg and i’m 165 aka 5’5 like i looked like a sickly model#now it’s only been a month drinking and not doing morphine or some shit and i already gained 12 kg it’s insane i’m like almost 60 kg now#i’m queueing this for a month from now so hopefully it’ll have been 2 months when this gets posted#and like i say i’m an alcoholic cause i don’t think it’s normal to drink like 5 nights a week but i’m not chemically dependent on it like i-#-was with opiates like i’m sober half the time. ive never done surgery while drunk for instance. there was this one time i had just had 4-#-shots in the bathroom in secret cause i was having a panic attack and didn’t know what else to do but anyway.#and they asked me if i wanted to close up on a tubal ligation and i passed on the opportunity even though i was Fine bc idk i just didn’t-#-feel good ab it. which is more than i can say for my professor tbh#like some other medical intern said ‘wow it must be so hard having to be On Call 24/7. like i bet u can’t even drink’#and he said ‘oh come on surgeons have lives too. in fact i drank more than a few beers just a few hours ago lol’ and proceeded to cut-#-someone open#anyway. yeah. i don’t get drunk at work yk#felt like i had to make that clear
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I might probably start smoking or drinking sooner or later. Or maybe both
#no seriously i will say some heavy things in this tags so just be warned#i deal w a heavy heavy weight and my life is very shitty#i like living. sometimes. but my life is terrible yeah#i like finding unhealthy coping mechanisms because i know theyre unhealthy and I shouldn't be doing them so i have something else to worry#about.#i was formerly addicted to sh. i cant do it anymore cause ppl keep checking my arm and ugh i hate this#i am obsessed now w sweets. candy and energy drinks#mainly monster because its tasty. and i never drinked the other ones. im scared of trying new things ngl#my eyes are getting yellow and i am anemic already#i wont stop because i like having this to worry about.#“fuck i should stop doing this this is making my health terrible”#so i forget about my little shitty life#i am probably going to start smoking or drinking. or maybe both#i just wont vape because i have a lot of things agaisnt ppl who vape /silly#fuck i'm so young and like i live like if i was 25#someone should give me a pacifier and chocolate milk#i was not supposed to be living like that#🍷.txt#special#i probably just want someone to worry.
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I gravitate towards jobs and such in which I make decisions, and prefer to live alone which comes with many decisions, and then do creative hobbies that require me to make so many decisions, and I thought "Huh, decisions are hard, what would a nice day without decisions look like?" And then I realized I just meticulously planned out a whole day of no decisions by just making the decisions beforehand.
#im so tired of decisions#rn im pretty new at my job so not too many decisions but still aome stuff i have to do independently#but my last job was so many decisions. i coordinated so much and if i did it wrong evryone hated me#and before that i was a shift lead#and for the last four years at summer camp ive been an area director#and this year i applied for an office position which is even hugher than area director#and im trying to move out of my parents house which comes with so many decisions#why do i keep doing this to myself#i like leadership and independence too fucking much and then im burnt out on it#and i would love just one day in which i didnt have to make any decisions#unfortunately i know myself and i know that someone else would not make the right decisions#so i want to make the decisions beforehand#and then someone else just executes the decisions for me. if that makes sense#like i want to tell someone 'tomorrow we will wake up at 9am and go get coffee. i want aan iced mocha#after that we'll go to target and get a quick lunch at qdoba. one hour after lunch i would like an iced caramel coffee#i would like to drink this coffee while we go on a walk along the lake#then id like to go home and knit for two hours. you may do something in the same space but it has to be quiet and non-distracting#then we will have such a late dinner. pizza unless you are willing to cook one of the three things i am always okay with#then i will peruse my phone until midnight. then i will sleep#i want to lay that all out for someone snd then they facilitate it#like they just know 'okay its 9am get up we're going for coffee.' 'alright its midnight put down your phone for sleeps'#all damn day they just do the decisions for me. even though i already made them so i know they were made right#idk if that makes sense. im just so tired#i was laying in bed before sleeping and decided to plan my perfect day of no decisions#and realized that it was not decision-free because i had just made every decision#did i mention how tired i am
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🏞🏞🏞
#the thing is I'm not proud of many things I've done. It's actually the exact opposite.#I kinda suck most of the time if I'm honest. but getting sober and doing it all on my own...#it's one of the only things I'm proud of when it comes to myself. sure.it's my third attempt but 1 year and 3 months...#it's the longest time I've ever managed to not try and deal with myself in a way that slowly but surely fucked me up in a very different way#I still struggle. some days are easier than others#but I'm still doing it.#being sober doesn't magically solve all my other issues but I don't spiral as much as I used to.#i don't think I'll ever be someone people can be around. which is like i don't blame people. i know how i am and how fucking difficult it is#to deal with that. the fear of abandonment that makes me push people away until they leave. the self-fulfilling prophesy of it all#the way i push and when i get the result i was expecting the immediate pull the fear and irrationality#the emotional disreggulation the self-pity#it's gotten better since i stopped drinking. less frequently and all that... but it's never gone not really#sometimes i think about the what could've beens.#what if my childhood went a little differently. what if my dad was there for me when i needed him. what if i wasn't me.#my ex best friend once told me that I'm to desperate to be saved. that nobody can do that anyway.#I'm not sure if I'd deserve it anyway. i have dreams in which I'm still me still dark and ugly and selfish and cruel at times#but i am trying i like to believe that i am already trying. i am. I'm just scared that it'll never be enough.#I'm not proud of many things but I'm 1 year and 3 months sober#only a few days and it's gonna be 1 year and 4 months#i didn't achieve much in my life but I'm here and i am trying every day i am trying and i hope on day it'll be enough#i hope one day i won't cause pain but build something good#sorry... I've just been thinking about it lately#because it is an achievement and i didn’t let myself be proud of how far I've come#alex talks#I'm still scared that people will look at me differently when they know... sometimes i feel like they can see the my rotten core anyway#to delete
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literally just trying to find out if theres a fucking hurricane coming my way and clicking any news article on my phone is a jumbled mess of ads and beating around the bush like holy shit dude just show me the fucking graphic of the storm path i saw in the thumbnail. im going to lose my mind
#this is the real shit that has me frustrated with technology. like we're so advanced and yet this is the bullshit we deal with#we put a man on the moon but we cant put hurricane coverage not behind a paywall#side note like its so rare for people to just sit down and watch the news now#unless they were already so inclined#if i can get a bajillion ads in front of me for some fucking car or sports drink or whatever#can they start running ads like 'hey dipshit theres a hurricane coming'#admittedly this one isnt rly coming my way as much as beryl did#but is2g the past decade has just been someone randomly happening to mention to me a hurricane is coming and thats how i find out
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FIRST SHIFT AT THE BAR NEXT FRIDAY SHE'S REPORTING ME TO THE ACCOUNTANCY FIRM TOMORROW
#it's the night after the h.e.a.t concert so that could be a bit stressful but i already had to push it a week further away#she originally would have liked me to start this friday because she would be alone or with only one other bartender i don't remember exactly#BUT I PRETTY MUCH GOT THE JOB IN THE BAG HELL YEAH NEXT WEEKEND I'M OFFICIALLY POURING DRINKS AT FUCKING PAUNCHY CATS#AND GETTING INTO CONCERTS FOR FREE IF I DON'T WORK THE SHIFT ON THOSE NIGHTS ANYWAY AND GETTING DRINKS ON THE HOUSE#MEETING ALL THOSE COOL BANDS AND PARTYING WITH THEM AND HAVING A FUN JOB#now my mom is a annoyed/mad at me because i'll have to use her car or need someone to pick me up but idk i think it's doable after a while#and in case i can't get home afterwards because of the weather or nobody can pick me up again after driving me there or i'm sick#the boss offered me to sleep at her place next door or at her son's second house he's partially offering to the bands to sleep#which i hope i won't need but how sweet is that 🥺🥺🥺#well actually her son is the boss but she does the administrative stuff and all and works as a bartender too#when i came in she said i look fancy and before i left she hugged me and repeated over and over that she'd be happy to have me in the team#mel talks
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Oookay, so watching Episode 94 for the first time to prepare for writing an epic scene where Crow and Aki bond over losing their mentors, and….
Aki: “WHAT THE FUCK AM I, CHOPPED LIVER????”
#yugioh 5d's#yugioh 5ds#Ygo drinking game: drink a shot every time someone’s like WTF REAL DAMAGE??#WE HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING BEFORE#and they were already on thin fucking ice with me for that ending shot of the OP#where Aki didn’t even get to wear her riding suit
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honestly people in this country have not heard of the saying the more the merrier, and have not figured out what it means to be hospitable yet
#personal#I've had like 20 people ask me if I have plans for new year's eve yet and I said I don't and Nobody asked me to join them#and these are all people that like to spend time with me and tell me how much they like me all the time#my friend has hundreds of friends yet he still spends every christmas alone in his apartment#and NONE of his friends have asked him to spend christmas with them#what is wrong with people#new years eve okay but how are you going to let someone spend christmas alone?#y'all are having dinner anyway invite one extra person over who gives a fuck if it's not family your family sucks anyway and he's great#or just the amount of times I've asked people to do something fun and they're like I'm already going with (these six people)#my friend asked me to go to something and I said I'm going with my friend would you like to join us?#I asked my coworker to go out for a drink and she said her husband was picking her up#so I told her he could join us if they both wanted that'd be fun and she was Shocked#????#this apparently does not happen?#there's this weird designated group of people that time gets spent with and you will just not be invited#and there's also a weird thing about couples only spending time with other couples and they dont invite their single friends anymore ??????#I don't understand a lot of things#I was raised by books that didn't take place in this country maybe that's why I have different ideas when it comes to this#and like the most social and kind people too right??#confused.....#we ran into a friend we all VERY much like we were all SO excited to see her#and we were on our way to go out for dinner#and everybody was like it's so good to see you hi how are you#so i invited her over for dinner and everybody was like ?????#what the fuck do you mean ????? we're... wha???? you're all acting like feral dogs#I've spoken to a lot of people from different countries who moved here and they're like it's impossible to make friends here#because they will just not invite you out when theyre hanging out with a group of friends#you can not become part of their friend group because That's already their friend group - even if they like you a LOT#and I'm like I know I don't know what the fuck is wrong with us
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#so I have officially been to a club/bar now#tag talk#it was a country bar which was actually cool cause they played like. actual old country none of the post-9/11 shit#except everything else about it was ugh awful. music too loud drinks FUCKING EXPENSIVE holy shit stay home and drink instead pleaseeee#it was a work thing but none of my coworkers I'm friends with actually knew what they were doing so while I wasn't actual awkward they were#and the thing about social interaction is that if no one knows what they're doing it's not very fun#I grabbed someone and started a pool game because the table was open and both of us were absolute garbage at the game#but I was laughing about it and they were like... apologetic about being bad?? d#I did have the classic experience though where your friends disappear and you end up alone because you don't know where they went#all in all an interesting experience but not one I'm eager to repeat.#I did get invited to someone's Christmas Eve Party though which is cool and they gave me their number to make sure I have the info#so probably worth going just for that I think. got their phone number so we can communicate so that's like. successful social connection.#we're already friendly at work but easier to talk to someone when you're both not busy on the opposite side of the store with customers#anyway. who tf out going to clubs. awful environment.#I was like.. twenty percent of the way to being comfortable going out and dancing but hard to just swallow your hesitation#and a) alcohol as liquid courage is hmm not ideal and b) it was expensive anyway#oh well. it'll take more time to come out of my shell and I'd literally never been to a bar/club before in my life.#so I'll have some patience with myself and not be annoyed with how I could have done better or been more confident.#literally totally new environment. also... country music was nice but not a group of people I could really be comfortable around yaknow?#Lotta old white straight couples dancing the country two-step so I didn't really feel like I fit in.#anyway. interesting experience. neat to have. if I ever have a reason to go to a bar again I'll know more about what to expect#also... no one carded me. no one asked for ID? aren't they supposed to#oh wait. comment about the yodeling cause it was actual old country but they didn't do the voice register changes for it#I was like WAIT ARE THEY GONNA YODEL FOR REAL??? but then he didn't he just jumped intervals without shifting voice.#was a little disappointing but maybe a lot to expect from a random stage show at a bar.#wait wait I'm also proud of myself because the bartender asked open or closed and my mind scrambled for half a second to figure it out#but then I realized it meant open tab or closed tab like ordering more drinks and then paying at the end and so obviously closed#cause I ain't buying more than the one drink holy fuck it was so expensive also they mix them way stronger than I like#I like my drink weak ass and pathetic. alcohol is like spice I like a little to taste but not a lot. complimentary not overpowering#I drank it and then remembered I never ate lunch so I was like fuck and immediately went and ate something (work party so free food)
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Every guy in Yakuza seems like they have enough social awkwardness for Tien to role his eyes at…
there's no feasible chance on earth any man can be more awkward than mountain man tien I'm Going To Hide From My Friends Every Other Year And Then For A Decade After Telling Them I'd Never See Them Again For No Apparent Reason And Only Coming Back Cause the World Was Literally Ending shinhan
#snap chats#i already hear someone go 'what about kiryu' girl he didnt last five years before getting involved again#jo's prob a contender tho. tbh.#anyway i just got back from the fnaf movie#first off please remind me to stop going out to places with kayla i might as well be going by myself#does not help that she walks slow as shit like bro dont make me walk this turtle-ass pace#good things came of the trip tho :) first of all im broke 🧍♂️ since when did movies get so expensive I DIDNT EVEN GET FOOD#i did get a kirby gacha tho :) inflation's starting to hit the gacha machines now too tho what the fuck 😭#last time it was less expensive than the time before and now this is the most exp its been......#wow its not just luck on what you pull its luck on how much money youre dropping BYE#whatever i dont need groceries anyways. really i dont i swear i did all my budgeting this month already#on the bright side i picked up 25 cents collectively today :) might as well call me a millionaire already#ANYWAY someone give me an excuse to post the new kirby he's cute and his feet are a weird color#o my god i didnt even talk about the movie wait. fuck.#watching jp movies and media has been terrible for my us viewing experience cause it just makes it so abundant how.#AUDIBLE us movies are. and the camera cuts jesus fucking christ i could turn it into a drinking game#what's my verdict tho ????? tbh i thought it was cute. im still in awe of the suits tho if anything i give the movie full props for that#heh. props. get it. fr tho i love practical effects and yk what ill take it. cupcake was goofy as hell ngl but ill take it#highkey forgot coreykenshin was in the movie so it was cute being reminded he was there :) love him..#honestly it really was a movie for fans of fnaf already and i aint gonna act like i wasnt a fan of the series in its early years#def not a movie to watch on its own- not that the plot's incomprehensible otherwise but it prob just wont hit#like matpat and corey being there was neat and the credits song took me WAAAY back to when that song first dropped on youtube LOL#sorry ive turned these tags into a fnaf movie review. kayla didnt talk about it with me so i wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere LOL#im running out of tags Anyway i solemnly swear to only talk bout movies that ft mates that star in rgg henceforth <3#im lying of course. i dont know how to shut up <3 but ill shut up rn im making dinner. movie made me hungry for bacon....
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