#im so fucking tired man. im already suicidal to begin with but the Everything happening is making it Worse. Yippe Yahoo Hooray.

[critterchitters-closedcaptions]

trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.

vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever 👍

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 3, 2019 // the trial

(TW SUICIDE)

it's the reveal!!!! love that for her hope shes thriving (shes not) again w the two minutes of the next episode to sync the dates

-lmaoooo so i honestly wonder why they went for the full pulling-it-out-the-throat thing but idk (an interesting foil to her getting sick for more stereotypical reasons ie s2 "people find out theyre grandparents every day"

-I LOVE THIS GEORGE HAIR

-"i'd do anything for nancy" okay but....why 👀bit of an odd reaction imo

-bess with spilling the truth again 😂and gets shot down. tragic #shetried

-wait sooooo nobody tested the fingerprints on the knife when this shit happened?? or that tech didnt exist in 2000? i mean without a body how could they even call it murder? and who told the police?? like if the drews took the baby, the dress, and said nothing, who tells the cops shes missing or even dead? how did they know to search the bluffs? who told the media/public? it had to have happened that same night because ryan said when he got there later there were already rumors she was killed. after the baby and bloody dress, only her crown, a knife, and tire tracks were left. how did anyone find anything at this remote bluff without some kind of tip off? and why on earth would they think murder and not suicide with so little evidence?? thats gotta be like suicide central, sorry for the trigger

-"a little help, lucy?!" lucy seems unable to disobey a direct request from nancy (ie "lucy, stop" from later in the ep) when nancy speaks directly to her. so maybe if nancy had spoken aloud/engaged more lucy could have appeared more? nancy said she only comes around when she wants to but what if nancy herself could do a bit more, being the last thing lucy touched and all

-so in ep 2 when nancys in jail carson says "great grandma rosalind buried her valuables in the trunk" including the knives shown here. did carson and kates families even know about nancy? how did they explain not announcing a pregnancy or birth?

-"oh." john lmfaoooo

-BESS lmaoooo and ace's looks in the background and then at seeing nick approaching lmfaooo oh no / also why on earth is she apologizing?? he dumped her but she has to be sorry he found out she fucked someone else? someone nicer pls explain to me bc i dont get it. she dont owe him shit

-george is SO CUTE lmfaoooo and so forward and he was so shook but then he was like "oh hell yeah"

-"is he a vampire?!" ik nobody i knew got that reference 😂

-this entire search of the claw is a sham. what are they even looking for. clearly a set up by tamura but why/what does he suspect them of. esp w karen as accomplice, story should be airtight so why are they still investigating?

-john + ace dream team 💙

-god ace is such a yes-man. why is he so fucking loyal?? people like him are insane. how are they real. i suspect they arent. and no matter what you do you are never worthy of their unending loyalty anyway.

-so in the Good Place nancy was the one who had the key but in reality its ryan

-wonder if lucy's listening to ryan here talking about his love and grief for her

-"you were throwing away your future on a nothing girl" - nancy & ryan - their fathers dont want them to see "troubled" kids, want them to focus on school instead --> which they both struggle with and eventually do not achieve (maybe bc they want their kids to leave horseshoe bay?) for nancy its an interesting vice for someone whos really a goody two shoes/for ryan its subverted bc karen actually did worse than him ie committed real crimes

-"stay away from my family" surprise bitch bet you thought youd seen the last of me 😉

-interestingly, ryan probably would have agreed with karen about switching the ballot boxes but he wouldnt have really understood the social consequences. both josh and karen are determined to see ryan as the bad guy when actually he didnt do anything, they did. 🤔

-karen is such a ride or die friend. again w the loyalty. if someone swapped ballot boxes for me i'd be touched. im sure going into active labor made lucy a bit upset but damn. what a friend.

-wonder when nancy starts calling her "Lucy" instead of "dead lucy"

-lucy primarily haunting her own house/love seeing this house overtaken by nature

-the concept of writing things down : starting from the first ep, nancy's journal (then and now), writing out simon cards, similar cemetary cards in the Good Place, "beautiful minding it," culminating in lucy's journal / writing it down to help figure it out/when theres too much going on to keep it inside

-"i'll make a salad" NICK LMAOOO

-wonder what happened to carson's old lawyer?

-"my testimony begins in the summer of 1999" because your story always starts with your mother's story

-lmfaoooooo this shit taking the stand is soooo never allowed but oh well

-"she stole a knife" and carson's face lmfaooooo he knows its not true but what could he fucking say?? no?

-"i love you mom, i hope you never find this." ironic bc nancy didnt want her dad to find her journal either

-lucy never wanted anyone to find out how she died d/t shame- but she didnt want carson to go to jail for it so she finally allowed it (or just couldnt refuse nancy asking)

-"i'm sorry for what you lost"/"i'm never gonna be free from them"

-awww ace/mcginnis goodbye / i wonder if ace is nervous thinking about tamura --> ace's dad since chief mcginnis covered for ace out of respect for his dads sacrifice but tamura would throw both ace and his dad under the bus just to get at nancy (get at her via ace? since he was already used as the blackmail plot device? they kinda touched in this in s2 but not fully)

-okay sooo why are they still doing this forensic analysis thing? like the whole things over so whats the point. i wonder if john had packed up and gone home what coulda happened

-nancy/carson - interrupted moments:

•family dinner interrupted by nancy's accsations

•being home after finding ted interrupted by carson's arrest

•celebration of dropped charges interrupted by nancy discovering the truth about her parentage

-"i cooked your favorite to celebrate" ironic bc shes upset that hes not her "real" dad but he IS because he knows her best. like theyre literally proving it right in front of her. vs ryan whom she doesnt really want anyway AND rejects requests to get to know her. like come on sis. his 20 years of parenting you arent going away, ever. deal w it.

-carson's little smile before he said "'mom never hurt lucy" like he knows this is the end / scott's acting here just kills me

~~~~~~~~~

-why did the drews come back at all? and why did kate really keep the dress? carson says she did it as a link to lucy, but did kate want to keep it to be connected to lucy? or did she bury it to keep lucy repressed? is this a positive or a negative? +keeping in attic - did lucy start to haunt kate, so she unburied the dress?

and lastly:

-why doesnt lucy haunt everett and celia hudson? she kind of does ie painting but only when nancy visits bc shes actually haunting nancy. isnt everything the hudsons' fault?

[angelicmichael]

Since you are an angst queen I know you’d make magic out of anything on the list, but how about number 9 with Michael?

A/N: First of all that’s a huge compliment thank you 😭🥺 I hope you like this!! I’m sorry it’s so long for a blurb lol. if u want a song that describes this fic PERFECTLY then listen to flesh without blood by grimes!! Like, I didn’t even mean too but the song matches this fic so perfectly. Anyway enjoy ♥️ Reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated :)

Warnings: breaking up, MAJOR character(s) death - the death isn’t really described but it’s suggested at the end of the fic, Reader burns herself so I guess burning? Lol, it’s not really suicide but Reader knows about her death and accepts it so it could be considered as such? Idk.

You never thought it would come to this.

Even from the beginning you knew he was trouble. He was too beautiful; to perfect.. He had to be corrupt in some way. And he sure was.

However nothing could prepare you to handle the fact that he was the antichrist, satans son. At first you laughed it off and thought he was trying to be funny but it was clear to you it wasn’t a joke when he told you about the bombs.

As fucked up as it sounds, you were okay with it. As long as you were by his side, you would be okay. However; as the date of the nuclear attack grew closer and closer, you started to second thoughts. You had second thoughts about everything but mostly about dating Michael.

He was starting to draw away from you, which was understandable since he was getting so busy. However in the moments when he happened to be free and tried to reach out to you, you found yourself withdrawing from him as well.

Knowing what destruction he was capable of, and what he was planning on doing made you start to withdraw from him.

What the fuck were you even thinking with dating this guy in the first place? How could there ever be a happy ending with the antichrist?

Long story short you now were in a fucking predicament, to say the least.

The bombs went off tommorow. you knew that. Michael knew that, and so did the cooperative. That was everyone who knew and who was okay with the world fucking ending. You couldn’t fucking handle it anymore.

You were tired of feeling like the responsibility of the world was in your hands, and you were tired of tolerating Michaels shit.

You loved him, and him alone. As much as it hurt to admit it, the thing that turned you off so much about Michael was all the fucking baggage he carried. You wanted him, not the cooperative, not his fucking magic powers, not his fucked up family, and espically not his fucking urge to destroy everything he touched. You knew all of that wasn’t truly him, it wasn’t his spirit.

It was the satanists and Satan himself that made Michael so fucking sadistic. And you hated it. You started to hate him for letting this happen, for allowing himself to surrender to such darkness.

You and Michael were due to leave at the crack of dawn to go to the sanctuary, before the bombs hit but you had different ideas. You were leaving tonight. As soon as you finished writing him this damn letter.

It was nighttime and you were alone in you and Michaels shared home. Or.. really just Michaels home now. You knew you had to write this letter soon before he came back, you had already packed everything and you had a hotel set up - waiting for you. You already had all of your belongings in boxes and ready to go by the front door, but right now you were still fucking stumped.

You sat at Michaels desk that he used for work; with a peice of blank paper in front of you with a pen in your hand.

You twiddled the pen nervously; trying to think of what you even wanted to say to him.

You kept the light dim, just enough so that you could see what you wanted to write. Having the light on brightly seemed to just make you sweat and make you even more nervous for some odd reason.

You finally bit the bullet and decided to just fucking do it, you started writing.

‘Dearest Michael,

I hope this letter finds you well. I know you hate unpredictability but I had to do this, this way. I know that if I looked you in the eyes and told you that I had to leave you - that I wouldn’t be able to take it so.. I’m sorry Michael. I’m so fucking sorry. It’s not that I don’t love you, because I do. I love you so fucking much. Too much to see you live the rest of your life like this, controlled by the Cooperative and being manipulated like that. I mean, think about it Michael. REALLY think. Do you really want to live the rest of your life having to manage of all them? Having to be dictated by fucking Satan for ‘probably’ eternity? I don’t want a future like that Michael. I would rather be taken out tommorow quickly by the bombs than live the rest of my life in a fucking wasteland. Understand that I love you but not the situation. I packed everything and I’m leaving tonight; please don’t try to find me. I just want to spend the little remaining hours I have alone please. I know how excited you were for tommorow and I’m sorry that you’ll have to celebrate alone -“.

You stopped writing for a second. You really were a fucking idiot, weren’t you? How god damn naive have you been? Michaels been spending more time at the fucking cooperative than he had at home, of course he wasn’t alone. That made no sense.

You wouldn’t be surprised if he was fucking some random cooperative member; Michael was gorgeous - everyone wanted him. You shook your head, I mean there was no point to not call him out on it. You could basically say whatever you wanted now - you were going to die tommorow anyways. You focused back on the paper in front of you and continued writing.

‘but im sure you’ll just find some bitch to fuck and celebrate that way, won’t you?

Yours truly,

(Y/n)’.

You put the pen back where you had previously found it and took the letter in your hands. You reread your mini speech and you felt odd.

You didn’t feel quite sad, but you weren’t happy either. You supposed you were kind of relieved. Relieved to finally have told Michael what you always wanted too. Relieved you didn’t have to date some sadistic, cruel man forever.

You turned the corner in the house and opened the door that lead to the bedroom. You had made the bed and you put the letter in the middle right below the pillows, no way he could fucking miss it.

You let out a dry laugh - not because anything was funny but out of disbelief. You were actually doing it. You were really leaving Michael.

You turned on your heel and with a snap of your fingers the lights turned off. It was now time to get the fuck out of here.

——————————

It was a beautiful day. The sun shone brightly onto you as you basked in it. It was early morning, the next day and you sat in a metal chair outside of a cafe with a coffee in front of you.

Today was the day.

You didn’t know the exact time the bombs were due to go off but you knew it was sometime before noon, and it was nearing 8 am.

You expected to get hundred of phone calls last night or to even have Michael show up at your hotel but none of that happened.. And you would be lying if you said that didn’t disappoint you a little. You did miss him.

You took a sip of coffee, savoring the taste before swallowing it. You picked up the cup - getting ready to raise it to your lips when you heard the other metal chair that was across the table from you being pulled back. The sound of metal across the concrete was like nails on chalkboard - you jumped and a good portion of your hot coffee slid down your shirt.

You bolted out of the chair - trying to go to the bathroom so you could dry yourself off but instead you felt a firm hand grab your wrist.

“Wait”. The tone of the voice you heard was soft yet demanding; so you listened. Also the voice was way too fucking familiar, you knew it belonged to a male due to the deep tone of it. With a quick look, it confirmed your suspicions. It was fucking Michael.

You stood there shaking, your chest was on fucking fire - stinging. Tears brimmed your eyes as you tried to get your wrist back but Michael held onto it even tighter.

“Michael! I need to go-“ You quickly pleaded.

“No, you don’t”. Michael snarled. You looked into his eyes you noticed how he had tears in his eyes, too. You stood there for a moment, in pain and being insanely uncomfterable in the hot sun that seemed to amplify the pain of your new burn. It was almost as if he enjoyed your suffering, like some kind of subtle revenge for you leaving him last night.

After getting a couple of weird looks, Michael sheepishly let your wrist go and allowed you to move just enough so you could sit across from him at the table.

You sniffled and brushed the tears off of your cheeks with the back of your hand.

“I told you not to find me, Michael”. You said in a deeper tone than of which you normally spoke in. It was because of how emotional you were starting to become, did he really come back for you?

“(Y/n), what’s gotten into you? Do you think I chose you over the Cooperative or something”? Michael spoke, gently shaking his head as he did so.

You were on the edge of your seat (literally) as you quickly replied, speaking so fast you barely even comprehended or really thought about what you were saying.

“You did Michael! These past couple of weeks I’ve barely been able to see you. You won’t talk to me, we don’t communicate anymore”.

You said, screaming. Any care you had of anyone around you hearing you scream at Michael seemed to become nonexistent. Tears fully streamed down your face now - a mix of anger and sadness. Your fingers gripped the table, turning white. You didn’t even flinch when Michael slammed a peice of paper onto the table.

“Is this what you think of me? Is this how low you think of me now? I’ve been beyond busy making plans not just for me but for us, to wipe out the human race and create a clean slate where we can create any kind of world we wish. But.. Instead.. you think I’m out fucking other girls”? Michael spoke harshly, continuing to stare into your eyes.

You sniffled, and tried to pull yourself together before you spoke again and gave a weak smile. You knew your accusation of him cheating was hollow, there really was no proof of him doing so. It was just a product of you being stressed and paranoid. The smile you gave him wasn’t really whole hearted, admittedly but you were done screaming and fighting.

The most important thing was that you had him back, and that the bombs were still due to go off most likely.

“I’m so sorry I said that Michael. I was just emotional. I didn’t mean that, I promise.. but.. today’s.. the day-“

You spoke slowly, not wanting to admit what today’s big event actually was but Michael cut you off anyway.

“You really think I wouldn’t cancel today’s event, Angel? I managed to postpone it. The cooperative wasn’t happy but I needed to see you. This whole thing isn’t worth it if your not by my side”.

You furrowed your eyebrows together, did Michael not get the point of your letter? You didn’t leave just for him to continue on with his plans. The idea was sweet but you didn’t exactly understand his motive and that made you uncomfterable.

You shifted and opened your mouth to speak when your eardrums nearly shattered with the loud noise that seemed to suddenly fill the air. It was fucking sirens. What the fuck??

You didn’t know what to do. You felt adrenaline start to course through your veins and you could only scream,

“What the fuck Michael”?!

You don’t know what scared you more, the sirens or the look on Michaels face. He looked horrified. He leaped out of the metal chair so swiftly you barely even saw him get up, his mouth was open - like he wanted to say something.

You stood up too, nearly shouting at him so that he could hear you through the sirens.

“Michael? ...

Michael?! ..

MICHAEL”!

Finally he seemed to snap out of it and realize you were still there, in front of him. You could see he was breathing hard, he was starting to panic. He came up to you and quickly embraced you.. it was as if he could almost smell your fear.

“Look, there’s nothing to worry about. It was probably just a miscommunication error, I just need to call-“

Michaels voice stayed smooth and steady as he talked but you knew him. You knew by the look in his eyes, the way he was holding onto you (he rarely EVER got clingy) that he was scared as hell.

You also knew you two didn’t have a lot of time. You knew how the nuclear attack was designed that after the alarms went off there would only be a couple minutes before the actual bombs released. You cut him off and started talking.

“-No, Michael. We don’t have time”. You said, your voice cracking. Another tear slid down your cheek as you kissed Michael with more passion than you probably ever had in your history of dating men.

You felt as if your body was on fire with the knowledge of what your future held, as you heard screams and chaos from every angle around you two.

You couldn’t help but selfishly think that atleast you had Michael and that you wouldn’t be alone now.

Taglist: @mina672 @9layerdevilsfoodcake @michaellangdonstanaccount @guiltyfiend @jimmason @langdonsexual

[cthomashoodstory]

Best Years but Not in the Same Way (17)

Calum Hood x Reader (Saara Palvin)

Previous Part

Well guys finally I’m able to continue the story after this very long time. Well i don’t have any knowledge about club, about drinking, or anything related into that I’m just find info from google so sorry if what i wrote is inaccurate. and also i added the 5sos girlfriend just for the storyline and if u guys didnt like them and im so sorry. Enjoy!

Masterlist

-

“Saara, over here.” You heard someone shouted your name and you looked around and found Crystal waving her hand towards you.

You came to her table and she’s with Sierra and Kaykay. That’s a very first time to you to meet Sierra and Kaykay. But with Crystal, you’ve been friends with her since 2014.

“Hey beautiful,” she hugged you. “I’m so happy when you said you can join us.” She looks so happy to meet you again. You haven’t been seeing her since you started to hang out with Justin back in 2015. You knew you had a chance to text her or even meet her through Michael but you didn’t do it because deep down you were afraid that she hated you for unfriended Calum. But now you had a courage to meet her.

“This is Sierra and Kaitlin or Kaykay.” Sierra stood up and hugged you first and Kaykay followed.

“Oh my God! I finally meet you in person!” Kaykay hugged you once more time. “You smell so good.” You didn’t know why but she looked so excited to see you.

Then you sat alongside with them in this bar. “I can’t believe we meet again,” you observed this place that used to be favorite spot of you, Calum, Ashton, Luke, Michael and Crystal and also Luke’s ex, Arzaylea. “The last time it was just me, you and... that crazy girl.”

Heard that Crystal was giggled. “Spilled.” She took a shot. “It was Luke’s ex by the way.”

“Lol.” Sierra then took a shot. “So, Saara a.k.a miss B, how’s you and Calum? Still playing that ‘friends’ card?” She bravely asked you that question.

“Yes.” And now you were the one who took the shot. “Damn. We just practically met and you asked the sensitive question ever? Damn.” You rolled your eyes and took another shot and they laughed. Then you sighed. “I think i want to share my deepest secret with you guys, but not today, i think?”

Kaykay nodded. “We are all here for you, Miss B. Just take your time.” She touched your shoulder. “But seriously can i ask you question? How’s you and Bieber doing?”

You looked at her for a second then you looked at Crystal and Sierra. They both gave Kaykay death stare. “I don’t really want to tell you about this, but fuck it. I don’t talk to him, i never forgave him and i hate him for everything he did.” You took a sip of your drink. “Fuck him. I don’t want to see him anymore.” You are now crying because you hate Justin so much. He ruined your life so bad until you are in this position.

“Oh my God don’t cry,” Kaykay start to wipe your tears and hugged you. “Let’s talk about Calum then, okay?” You pulled the hug and nodded.

“You should joined us to Paris this week,” Crystal distracted you. “Calum would be happy if you came because he’s been talking about it since last month. He really wanted you to be there because we all gonna be there. He couldn’t stop talking how much he loves you, Saar.”

The Sierra added. “Yep that’s the truth. He even texted me how to apologize to a girl.” She chuckled. “I mean he could googled it but instead he asked me and he mentioned you a lot in our conversation.”

You shrugged. “I don’t know if i could go to Paris with you all...,” you paused. “I feel like i will disturbed you all like... I’m an intruder. I don’t want to ruined your plans by joining you all there.”

Sierra rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding me? You were the one who friends with them long time ago. You are their bestfriends. And they’re so excited when Calum asked you to joined them. Please, if you love Calum you have to be there, at least for him. He would be the happiest man in the world.” She raised her glass.

“Yeah i do love him. I’m in love with him since I couldn’t remember when. He was there with me since the beginning. He... he made sure I’m okay every seconds he is not with me. He loves me unconditionally. He cares about me when i was suicidal. I was so obsessed with Justin and pushed Calum away. He still cares about me after all this time i hurted him and I realized that he was supposed to be the one who’s with me right now. But I’m still in pain. My feelings still stuck in the past.” You wiped down your tears. “But i don’t know if i could make it to the Paris or not.”

Their faces was so nervous when you told them how you felt. Then seconds later they chuckled.

—————

Today, me and Mike (Posner) were arrived at Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport. It wasn’t your intention to be on Paris and catching up with 5sos. Well actually Mike knew Calum asked you to be on Paris and you decided not to came. And he asked you, invited you and convinced you to came along with him to Paris because he has a gig in Paris. He said he wanted you to accompany him to Paris and he also said you have to meet Calum in Paris because he knew you love him. You decided to came along with him and now you’re in Paris. You didn’t tell anyone that you are in Paris except Mike himself.

“Where do you want to go?” Mike asked you. “Let me answer it. You want to see Eiffel Tower, huh?” You were grinned and and nodded at the same time. “Alright lets go.” He side hug you and you two took off with a taxi.

After long enough time at taxi we finally arrived at Eiffel Tower. “C’mon let me picture you.” You made a pose and Mike took pictures with his phone.

“Nice.” He showed the pictures and you laughed. “You going to tell Calum that you’re here?”

You shooked your head. “No, i think I’m gonna surprise him and i think i will tell Crystal that I’m here.”

He nodded. “I’m so happy that you’re in this phase, you are more healthy than before, you’re not hurting yourself anymore and I’m really sorry for hurting you back then i was so stupid.”

You hugged him immediately. “I love you Mike, thank you for always be there for me. You’re my brother and my family.” You said it while hug him. And then you pulled the hug. “We probably should get going to the hotel because I’m tired.”

Later at night, you texted Crystal that you’re already in Paris and wants to surprise them.

You immediately go to Eiffel Tower after Crystal told you their location. You actually walked since your hotel and their location not too far away. And so happen you and Calum didn’t contact each other since they arrived at Paris because the boys told you how disappointed Calum when he found out you couldn’t joined them to this romantic city.

You were so excited to surprise Calum because you felt bad for letting him sad like that. After 15 minutes you arrived in Eiffel Tower area and now you’re completely lost in a river full of hundreds people. You observe this place and see the people one by one. You laughed inside if the surprise failed because you didn’t imagine if this place is so crowded at night. After 7 minutes walking around, you saw four tall guy really stood and being photographed.

Your heart began to race as you saw Calum’s face that you’ve been missed for a month. Omg what should you do? You turned around so they won’t see you and you walked aroud to other direction. What kind of surprise is this? Lol you didn’t know what to do at that time and you keep walking until you were far away from them. You secretly saw them from afar and they were just stood enjoying the view of Eiffel Tower. When your position is behind them you were slowly walking to them. And thats when Crystal saw you. Her expression was hilarious like she wanted to yell but she couldn’t. She informed the girls and they were looking at you smiling. You witnessed Ashton being suspicious at the girls smiling to something behind them and thats when he looked at you. He waa about to say something but you put your index finger to your lips quickly implying him to keep quiet. And he immediately took out his phone and probably recording. And Luke realized you were here and smiling.

And thats when you walked and stood beside Calum. And then you poke Calum’s Arm. “Hey can we take pictures together?” I asked him politely and he said yes and he turned around.

He startled and freeze for a moment. “Saara? Saara Palvin? Is that you?” He rubbed his eyes twice and he looked at you again. “It’s really you.” He hugged you right away and you hugged him back. They’re now whistling and tease both of you.

You pulled the hug. “Surprise.” You smiled to him and you wanted to kissed him so bad but you think he didn’t want any so you didn’t make your move.

“How? You said you couldn’t come and now here you are.” He looked so nervous talking to you. His face were red and so were you right now.

“Is it even matter right now? She’s here Calum, for you.” Michael exasperated. Not in a bad way. “Do something. It’s Paris bro, you guys are in Eiffel Tower now.” He desperately explained to Calum. And Calum was just scratching his head and didn’t know what to do.

“Oh this.” He gave you a rose that he put inside his leather jacket. Not forget to bite the flower’s stalk.

“Happy... uh... welcome to Paris.” You took the flower and hold it. He may not gave you a kiss, but a flower and his face is more than you asked for.

-

To be continued.

Next Part

[maagicmiss]

Endgame spoilers !! Beware the spoil !!

This movie was amazing. With a lot of humor, which never fall flat. I was dumbfounded from the beginning to the end tbh Nobody asked for it but there is my hot take of Avengers 4 :

I felt really bad for Thor because ya know, depression™️ but damn the surprise/shock made me laugh. Noobmaster is an absolute evil that we need to end. They kinda did him dirty, I really wasn’t wanting for that but eh 🤷🏻‍♀️ Broken man 😔 Everytime I think about how much he lost I die inside a little more. Rocket was the real best dude here. Cheers to him. I was so fck happy for him when he got his hammer back !!! Like !!! "I’m still worthy" !!!!! You go you funky thunderous man !!! He deserves to be happy at all cost. Protect this man. During the last battle I was shook, with both his hammer and axe, fighting the purple asshole, so cool. Amazing, truly. Also, when he gave Valkyrie the commandment ?? My queen. She’s now my queen. By the way, we all know who’s in command of the Guardians now 🔥🔥😂

I can’t exprim how much I was sad for Natasha. When I saw them climbing this damned mountain I understood it was over for her 😭😭 I will love her until my dying breaths. She did deserve better but she died protecting her family, and the earth. She was the one who fought until the end, who did everything she could, and managed to avenge the earth. Thanks to her Thanos was defeated. Let’s honor her 😭👊🏻🔥

Clint. Like, dude. Pain. Angst. A bit of stupidity but that’s Clint so yeah. The assasinsbowl was ofc won by Natasha, and he lived. I would’ve been pissed if he died because he killed all this (bad indeed) people out of pettiness and sadness and anger for his family but he would’ve let himself die ? I understand. But like, dude. No. You’re a father. A husband. Natasha was ofc going to sacrifices herself instead of you.

HULK !!! My man. He’s happy and that’s all that matter 😭❤️ We stan a confident and humourus man y’all (Im still waiting for a height joke when Scott got aaaaaall huge in the end rip) Also, him being ashamed of his past self ??? Amazing. I couldn’t even in my wildest dreams lol I was dead when he met the old sorceress and got kicked out of his body lmaoo

STEVE. Or best known as America’s ass. Bae. I love that man. Everybody does. He did it. He did all his possible and it payed off. Also what a quick learner. When the hammer got lift, I was "W H O ???" Tbh I was thinking Loki, like "yo surprise bitches" but it was way better xD I think I screamed lmaooo But man, so fucking cool and impressive. That scene where he stand alone in front of Thanos and of his whole army ? With his broken shield ? I C O N I C. I am already seeing all the edit, gif, tribute, fanart and fanfic about it. I can’t wait y’all. Although, I was a bit disappointed about his closure ? Like yeaaah it was neat but... idk....... a bit dissatisfied and disappointed. The Steve/Steve was funny but also sad, idk. Although, Steve in the elevator saying Heil Hydra was beautiful.

Tony. I need to say it. Steve did him dirty. Like. Poor man. He didn’t deserve that, at all. I would’ve preferred Steve snapping down Thanos than him. He’s a father !! A husband too !!! Steve promised to him he wasn’t going to die. LIES, ALL LIES. I’m salty. But no hate for the blond man please. In the end, it was Tony choice. In the end with "The proof that Tony Stark has a heart" was heartbreaking. I wasn’t ready AT ALL. I’m not his biggest fan but oh damn, Sadness got me down. His daughter ? Pain. The little kid from Iron man 3 ?? Pain. Happy being sad ? Pain. Pepper ? Pain. I’m dead. He deserved better 😔 When he met his dad, I was dying. Dying of sadness but also of joy. Glad he could talk to him, and even hug him !!!!

Carol !!! THE bitch. I love her. She could walk on me and I would apologize. We didn’t saw her that much but ya know, it’s cool. I gave her entry a 9/10 because there wasn’t thunder lol (unlike Thor in Infinity War, who rightfully had a mighty 10/10). She was a queen. That haircut ? Beautiful.

Nebula. She’s my bae. Protect her. She’s doesn’t seem to need it but she does. Baby. She baby. But she’s a dangerous baby so be careful lmao Her killing in cold blood her past her (??? Was that suicide ?? Or murder ?? Or murder suicide idk ???) to protect her past sister was tragically sad and heartbreaking and beautiful. I’m saying a lot beautiful but hey I’m doing my best with my limited vocabulary. Nebula and her, and the guardian deserves happiness. Lowkey shooketh that nobody saw it was the past Nebula and not the right one but I’m going to excuse them by saying it the excitement of having all Infinity stones and of sadness for Natasha. Other way I’m about to throw hands 🤬😤

Iconic moment :

Carol saving Tony’s ass. We all knew that was how it gonna to happen but I was so relieved. 9/10.

Thor killing in cold blood Thanos in front of everyone, dead inside was wow, brutal. Not happiness out of it, no recomfort. Merciless, brutal, cold. He was here for the head and he got it. 7/10

Not an iconic moment but shush. The five years later ? I was astonished. It must have been 5 painful years. The world was in shred, dusts and broken people everywhere. Pain. Everything is blue, melancholic, broke. If I was one of the missing people coming back I would tell to every fucking one that joke "Hey, I’m gone like 5 seconds and everybody go apeshit ? What would you all do without me ?" Yeah im that bitch lmao 10/10 because you feel that emptiness and sadness.

Tony joining the idiots and Tired Steve™️ with an actual good plan in his fancy car with a lot of skids and other fancy stuff ? 10/10 good one, boi

That scene from Avengers 1 ? Then them on the side ? 6/10

Steve in that elevator ? You already know. 9/10

Steve commenting on his own ass ?? 1000/10 Trust me, it’s fair. Were waiting for that since Avengers 1.

I love Steve

Loki ?? Man, that dude is a joke but I love him. The face he made when he saw the case slide.... beautiful. The face he made when he jumped in the time hole ??? Iconic. 10/10. I want to know how everything is gonna to play with his series. I wanted more of him tbh I even was waiting for him in the last battle. By the way, is he still dead ? If he never went to Odin.... idk. Lowkey confused here.....

And last but not least :

The final battle.

Damn.

The fight between Iron Man, Thor, Captain and Thanos was intense. I was on the edge of my seat lmao It reminds me of their fight in Avengers 1, in the forest, for Loki. They were fighting against each other, now they’re fighting together 🔥👊🏻❤️ 9/10

Steve picking up the hammer ? 10/10 No comment, it’s fair. (The "I knew it" of Thor was priceless)

Steve getting a rematch on Thanos with both his shield and Hammer ? I C O N I C. 9/10 because it didn’t last long in my opinion.

Steve in front of the whole army ? Alone ? The face dirty of dirt and blood, the shield cut in half ? After he slowly stood up, even tho he was tired and probably had broken ribs ? How dare you not applause. That old man was ready to fight them all, and to fucking die. Stupid but amazing. 1001/10. Slightly better than him commenting on his own ass lmao (tag me if u ever do a fanart of this scene please)

Sam calling Steve ? Not iconic but still. I was dying and it cured me. My skin is clear, my debt are payed off, my grades are perfect and I’m now immortal.

The Powerful Women squad ? Damn. I love it. Sign me up for 10 movies about their shenanigans around the universe. 10/10

All the dead one coming back to life ? All the dead coming through the portals ? And looking badass af ?? Doctor Strange ? Wong ? Wanda ? Sam ? Bucky ? Spider man ? The Guardians looking sharp ? Black Panther with his sister and Okoye ? The Wankanda Army ? The spatial ships ? EVERYONE ????? Bitch Please, it was perfect. 10/10.

Tony snapping ? "I’m Iron Man." I was euphoric. 10/10. Then I was really sad. So 10/pain

"Proof that Tony Stark has an heart" ? A painful 7/10.

As you can read, I loved that movie. Like, very much, but, I’m a bit dissatisfied about the music. The Russos were idk, timid ? Shy about it. Most of them were old one, the themes of the characters and the principal theme (the one from avengers 1). Nothing too extraordinary, nor extravagant. Can do better.

Also, idk why but I found that Hulk was a bit weird ? Idk he seemed emotionless ? Maybe it’s only me but I didn’t like that much the CGI of Hulk this time.

Wanda. She barely spoke. Rip

Tony’s death. He shouldn’t have died.

Steve’s old days/death/idk. I’m not buying it. I don’t like it either. Glad Sam is Captain America now tho. Sad for Bucky. The dude is gonna end up alone in 2022 (or idk what years) with only Sam and Steve’s grandchildren or idk Rip dude

There is soooo much to say about this movie. Like, I write something down and something else is immediately coming up x) Maybe I’ll edit stuff later.

[sweetly-cider]

Drunken Strings part 1 ((Canon RP between me and @juliets-oc-isle ))

Things at the bar had been slow -- and not by the customers' doing.

"Ale! You can't sit back here and sulk all day!" Applin scowled as he nudged the limp mug with his foot. "We've got work to do! Not to mention today was your shift."

"... jus' go away," the older brother grumbled, taking a swig from yet another bottle in his hand.

"No. Not if you're gonna drink away all of our merchandise," Appy scolded, reaching down to snatch away the bottle before travelling to the other end of the bar. Fortunately, by now the night was nearing its end, so the number of patrons had grown slim. Groaning, Ale simply rolled to face the other direction, avoiding responsibilities.

Max walked towards the bar with a small burlap sack of coins. He rubbed his neck tiredly and rolled his shoulders back to ease the ache from them. Things were so different now. Before he won his contract, he would notice Quil in the background, keeping an eye on him as he worked. It annoyed him then, but now, he missed seeing her hidden poorly in the shade of a tree or bush. He never saw her, and it was such a void to him that it distracted him tremendously. He hardly earned enough for what he spent at the bar now. Most of what he had were allowances from his trust.

He sighed as he pushed the doors to the bar, stepping in. When he looked up as he pulled his pipe out of his mouth, he was confused when he saw Applin instead of Ale.

"Applin? Hey, I thought your shift ended a while ago," he muttered, taking a seat at one of the stools by the bar.

"Well, it was supposed to," the tired cider said, jerking a thumb behind the counter. "I can't figure out what happened to 'im. He won't say anything, other than to tell me to leave him alone. I know he went to visit Swirl for whatever reason, but he only came back after a few minutes. I think something might have happened, but again he won't say a word about it. He's been too drunk all night."

“He went to see Pinky, ey?” He mumbled. He stood up on the foot rest of the stool and leaned over the bar until he could see Ale. “Howz about sharin with yer buddy, Ale. Better than drinkin’ alone, a’ight?”

The distressed mug looked up until the ale was spilling from him, then slowly pulled himself up. He didn't say anything, simply reaching behind him for another random bottle before pulling out a couple of glasses.

"... yeah, I went to see 'er," he said quietly, his voice hollow and hoarse as he poured the alcohol into their cups. "Prob'ly.... prob'ly the last time..."

Max raised a brow. “Ya told Pinky, didn’t ya?” He asked in a low voice. He reached over for a shot. “What’d she say to ya?” He asked in a low voice as he lifted the shot to his lips.

Ale was silent at first, holding the bottle in the air over the full shot glass.

"She... She said I don't care for anyone 'cept myself," he said slowly, setting the bottle on the counter. "Then... she pushed me out and... And said she needed time..."

The normally cocky mug simply took a shaky breath before pressing a hand to his face.

"She said all 'a the red flags. Needs time, should'a seen it comin', she hasn't been comin' to work, either. What am I gonna do? The one thing I didn't wanna fuck up I screwed up royally."

“She said she needs time?” He mumbled before drinking down the shot. He raised a brow at the taste, glancing at Ale. “Yer really down, ain’t ya?”

He sighed then rubbed his forehead. “At least she didn’t say that she hated ya, er never wanted ta see ya again.” He tilted the empty shot glass towards him. “Ya still have a chance to get yer girl back. Unlike me.”

"... I dunno. Didn't sound like a good chance," Ale muttered, glancing at the bottle before pulling a face. He set it back down onto the counter behind him before picking something a little better, downing his shot to fill it with the new alcohol. At this point, he didn't care about mixing.

"I've gotta figure out some way 'ta make it up to her, but... I dunno if there even is anything. Maybe she's right, and I oughta give 'er space..."

Max watched Ale carefully. He definitely wasn’t being himself, especially grabbing any kind of alcohol off the shelf too. “Do you know anything about relationships, Ale?” He asked. He set the shot glass down close to Ale, hoping for more. “I mean, a gal tellin’ ya that she needs more time, it doesn’t mean everything’s over.”

Around the time Max started speaking, another person walked in. He quietly stood in the corner, his red and white striped blazer standingnout like a sore thumb and his blond curles tucked neatly under his straw toyo hat. A black bow tie around the neck of his button up shirt, he leaned on his cherrywood cane as he sat and watched, his green eyes focusing on Max.

“Just because she ain’t wanting ta talk ta ya right now doesn’t mean ya should just go off and be careless. More than anything ya need to be dedicated to her now still. Give her her space, but don’t let another gal into ya bed.”

He kept on talking, not even knowing there was someone new in the bar.

"Well, yeah, I'm not about 'ta commit suicide," Ale said, waving the bottle through the air in front of him. He wasn't even trying to pay attention to the rest of the customers, assuming his brother would be taking care of it. Not that he was checking. "It wouldn't even be worth it! The only time I did was just... awful! Wasn't even worth the money, what I could remember!" Again, he rubbed his face with a sigh. "I dunno... I'm just... not gonna go anywhere for a while. Play it safe as possible." He punctuated his words by knocking back another shot.

“Good at least ya ain’t-- Hey man, don’t be hogging all it.” Max reached over for the bottle of alcohol.

“Look, I get it, you want to keep yourself from doin’ anything stupid. But locking. Yerself up izn’t gonna help.” Max said, grabbing the bottle and pointing it at him. “Especially if all you do is drink from te bottle. No one wants to swap spit with ya when they come’ere Ale. Why don't ya--”

“That didn’t seem to bother you much when you worked for me, Lavanda.”

Max froze at the sound of his voice, immediately turning to look at the guy who smirked at him from the entryway. “Joel?”

Ale blinked as his friend turned away.

"Who the hell is this guy," he muttered, his eyes following the stolen bottle, then tried to sneak another from behind him. "Look, pal, we're busy here! Ya want a drink, go 'ta the other end 'a the bar. And I ain't sharin' spit 'cause I ain't sharin!"

Joel laughed at Ale, as though he were telling an aweful joke. “Oh but I have business with him. He made an agreement with me long ago, and I am here to collect up on it now.”

Max rolled his eyes and slouched against the bar. “Yeah yeah, Joel, I know what you want. Can ya come by later? My friend and I, were goin’ threw a hard time....” Max mumbled sourly. “And no funny business either, it’s weird, awkward as fuck.”

Joel rested his elbows against the bar and planted his chin in his palms. “Awwwww, don’t like my shenanigans, hijole? Up until you found out you didn’t seem to mind it.”

Max groaned. “Yeah, think of it as you will, I have always and will always think of you as a parent. That's it!!” he poured some of the alcohol into a shot glass before setting the bottle down. “Quil was my focus then, and she is the reason I’m wanting to do nothing but drink until I’m numb, so if you don’t mind.” He raised the shot glass on the emphasis of ‘drink’ before tossing it down quickly. “You can lecture me all you want, but I ain’t gonna listen anymore Joel.”

Ale looked back and forth between the two, then let a confused scowl pull at his cheeks.

"Is someone gonna explain who the hell this guy is? Or do I just need 'ta kick 'im out! This Joel dude is freakin' me out!"

Max sighed. “Ale, this is Joel, he-....’they’ are the ones who took me and Quil in when we first arrived to the islands. They’re my old boss, and I owe ‘em money for the help we got.” He shrugged. “Which isn’t a problem now, since I won my bet with....’him’.”

As Max spoke, Joel stared at Ale with a studious expression. He was the same mug from that night before, but he was such a mess. Something must have happened bad. Ignoring Max, Joel smirked at Ale. “What’s the matter boy, did ya lose all a your luck already?”

"... What?"

The comment made the mug's frown deepen. Why did that sound familiar? And why did this guy act like he knew him?

"Look, pal, I got no idea who you are, and if you got anything 'ta do with the devil or his damn bets, you'd better get outta here before I kick ya out!"

When Ale raised his voice, they could see Applin farther down the bar suddenly freeze. His head whipped around as a shock of fear went through him. They didn't look like the devil's workers he'd seen before, but who could know?

Ale didn't even seem to notice. Instead, his mug was beginning to boil in an almost drunken anger. Was this creep making fun of him?

"You better butt out 'a business that ain't none 'a yours," he growled through clenched teeth.

Max widened his eyes as the mood in the bar escalated suddenly. “Ale, Bro, chill, Joel isn’t a collector.” He quickly turned towards Joel. “Joel, what the hell are you talkin about?!”

Joel chuckled lightly, obviously humored by Ales reaction. He wasn’t the first, and he probably wouldn’t be the last to act in such a way. “Hijo, I know this boy. Clumsy drunken fool had a winning streak at the casino, la casa de mi padre . He paid me for a bit of....entertainment.”

For a moment, Ale looked even more confused, his face twisting as he thought hard. His brain was still fuzzy with sadness and alcohol, but a few fuzzy memories began to faintly fade through. That's when his face went slack.

"Wait... what... what the hell? I dunno who you are, or how the hell you know about that, but you better fuck off, buddy!"

The bartender surged over the counter for a brief moment. If he'd been within reach, Ale would have most certainly have grabbed "Joel" by the scruff of his shirt, but his aim and perception were just a bit off.

"I lost everything because 'a that damn night a year ago. I might not remember who it was, but it definitely wasn't some sleezy dude!"

Joel chuckled in a low voice as Max groaned in embarrassment.  “Ale....you don’t understand, Joel, he’s....they’re....” He covered his head with his arms as he pressed his forehead against the table, his voice muffled from his arms. “Dios mío, ¿cómo digo esto?”

Max went silent as he tried to think of an easier way to explain, but before he could explain anything, Joel leaned forward and gripped onto Ale’s wrists, transparent strings winding themselves around his wrists then attaching them to the counter. “Cálmate, lucky charm, getting angry with me isn’t something you want to do.” He sneered. “Not unless you want me to tie you up again. Though, I promise, this time if I have to, I won’t let you loose.”

He pulled his hands away, the transparent strings literally pulling from his fingers like a spool of clear thread. He leaned close to Ale, his voice dying down to a whisper only he could hear. “I’m not always a man, boy. So believe me when I say that it was me you were with that night.”

Max had never seen Ale so scared before. His mug began bubbling even faster until the foam was spilling over the edge. Slowly, his eyes slid over until they met those shining green eyes. Green eyes that immediately shot through his memories like a bullet. He remembered those.

Ale opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He was too shocked even to struggle against the strings, his eyes still glued to the form in disbelief. This was the thing that made him lose Swirl? Were they coming back to haunt him? Was he going to lose even more now?!

He looked over to Max in a silent, confused plea. What was going on?

Max had been watching the whole thing, but he knew he couldn’t stop Joel. He sighed and looked at Ale in disappointment. “Joel, he’s, they’re genderfluid Ale. Meaning Joel can feel like a guy today, but feel like a girl tomorrow. Thing is, Joel has the ability to ‘switch bodies’. He’s-They’re....”

“If I’d have known Lil Maxie was gonna lead me to ya, I’d have dressed the part. My ebony body, brown curls, blue dress...you loved it last time you were drunk.” Joel pitched in. He reached over and grabbed the bottle of alcohol and winced. “This is what you guys are drinking?”

Max rolled his eyes. “I’m not in the mood for a lecture, Joel.”

“Aww, I just wanna know if there were any actual tasteful drinks here.” Joel playfully teased.

Ale was barely listening. The look of fear slowly began to morph into annoyance, then an anger that made his blood boil. This... thing was one of the reasons his life was falling apart, and now they're going to insult his bar? Though he couldn't detach himself from the counter, his fists began to clench against the wood.

"... Get out," he snarled through clenched teeth. "All of you-- get out!"

The shout made the bar suddenly grow silent, the gentle murmur coming to a standstill. Applin had to apologize to the patrons he was working with before sliding towards their end of the bar.

"Ale, what are you doing," he hissed, looking up at the others with a nervous, apologetic smile. "Ah, sorry, guys, he's not exactly in the best--"

"GET OUT!"

Applin flinched back as Ale tried to jerk out of the strings to no avail. Instead, his arms collided with the counter again with a loud thunk.

"Everyone-- go home. Get out, get out!"

Joel smirked and snickered at Ale’s behavior where as Max quickly reached over and tried to quiet Ale, turning to Joel with a scowl. “¡Joel, Cállate!” Max hissed at him. As much as he didn’t want Ale to try and fight with his parental friend, he also needed to explain a lot to Joel. “Let ‘em go!”

Joel rolled his eyes again. “I let him go, he’s going to make an even bigger ruckus. I’m not going to leave just because he’s in denial.” He shrugged and unattached the strings from the bar, leaving them wrapped around his wrists. “If you want me to let your friend go, let’s see what he will do then, shall we?”

Slowly, the barkeep lifted his arms, simply looking at his freed hands. Then, suddenly, he lunged towards the marionette. If it wasn't for Applin and Max barely holding him back, he would have been wringing the creep's wooden neck.

"Lemme go! Lemme go-- get out!" At this point, the bar was empty save for them. No one wanted to be around the agitated bartender, or whoever was the object of his anger. "Lemme go so I can wring 'is damn neck then throw 'im out!!"

Max grunted against the struggle of holding him back. “Even if you did Ale, they’d still come back! You’ve sparked a game with ‘em! Just stop it and get a hold of yourself!” He snapped. Without thinking, he added, “what’d swirl think of ya if she were to walk’n ‘ere? You’d lose ‘er for sure!!”

“¿Quién es Swirl, hijo?” Joel hummed, leaning against the bar. “¿Encontró el amuleto de la suerte un amante después de todo?”

Max grumbled a few profanities under his breath before looking over at Joel. “No, he had one until you pulled your strings to get him to cheat on her.” He snapped. “Now, he’s got nothing because of you that night.”

Joel widened his eyes. “Wait, what?!” He stuttered. “I did no such thing!!”

As they talked, the two could feel Ale slowly stop struggling. Then, he began to shake as he became a dead weight in their arms. The poor, drunken fool had turned into a sobbing mess.

"She'd hate me 'cause it was all my fault," he blubbered, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. "She already hates me. I'm just... I just..."

"Max, what is he talkin' about," Applin whispered across his broken brother. "Did something happen between him and Swirl?"

Max looked over at Applin in disappointment. “Selling your soul wasn’t the only mistake he’s made the nights I’m not there to stop him at the casino,” he muttered quietly to him. “It’s mainly why she’s not been here for a while.

Joel crossed his arms across his chest as he looked at Ale then Max. “So, you’re saying that he was with someone? Even before that night?”

"Not that night--" Ale let out a loud sniff. "A-another n-night. And n-now..."

He started right back up again, prompting Applin to roll his eyes and slowly lower him to the counter.

"... Yes, he's been going steady with one of the A'LaMode girls for a long time," he said, dusting his hands on his apron while his brother blubbered away. Now that all the customers had left, he really had no choice but to be involved. Not that he was happy about it, of course. "It's probably the longest I've ever seen him stay with someone... ah, ever, really. He's always been the kind of idiot that just sleeps around then either dumps them or gets dumped right away. This is the first one that's been... different."

"I'll say he's an idiot alright," Joel sneered angrily. His green eyes flared, his hands curling into fists before he crossed his arms across his chest. "He has some nerve, lying to girls like that. If I'd have known he was with someone that night, I'd have smacked his drunkass face so hard it'd crack."

"Joel!! Not helping!!" Max snapped at him. To which Joel's fiery glare turned towards him.

"Max, you really think I'm gonna be happy about this myself?! That I'm just gonna walk away as though it were nothing?!" Joel snapped. "When I am dressed the part, I am a worker girl, not a homewrecker. Now, because of this cabrón, I'm going to be seen as a worker girl who steals other girl's men. That does not fly well with me!"

There was a moment of silence, save for the snivveling mug still slumped across the counter. Applin looked between the three of them for a moment, then finally let out a tired sigh. Looks like he was back to cleaning up his brother's messes. Who was he to think that was finally over, right?

"Look... my brother does a lot of dumb stuff. No one's going to say it was your fault. You were paid, I think, and it was his mistake. Not yours. There's no one else to blame but this stupid mug, same as always. Max, you don't have to defend him for being selfish. He's finally getting what's been coming to him for a very long time."

The glare the barkeep shot the older brother was almost cold as he collected some of the empty glasses around them.

"You guys just got caught up in another round of dumb decisions, and I'm not gonna let him push the blame off on someone else like he always does. It's about time he finally paid up his debts."

Max glanced at Joel with a disapproving glare. “Applin, I’m not defending ‘em because of the wrong he’s done. I’m tryin’ ta keep Joel from getting any ideas. He’s the one ya should be worried about, because of what they are. Take it from someone who found out after the fact.”

Joel on the other hand was still frowning at Ale, his arms wrapped against his chest. “I never pinned him as a crybaby over losing someone. Relationships are so fickle, it’s why I don’t see the point in them.” Joel shrugged then stretched his arms above his head. “Anywho, don’t know what you’re talking about, Maxy Waxy. Debts and deals with me are far better than the ones my father ropes others into. At least with me there are no strings or hoops to jump through after terms are met. Mainly why I went to do business with Lucky charm that night. My father wasn’t too thrilled that he was on a winning streak. That kind of luck draws him in.”

"Your... father?" Applin took a step back "Your father? Your father is the devil?!" A flash of fear flickered through his eyes as he quickly glanced between Joel and Max. However, there was nowhere for him to go, other than to stay and hope he could last the conversation.

"How in the world is that even possible? You're... You're a wooden doll!"

Joel laughed at Applin’s response, humored even. “Goodness it’s been a while since anyone was afraid of me.” He chuckled. Max scowled at him, shaking his head and silently telling him dont do it. Unfortunately, this only encouraged Joel more.

“Yes, I’m a wooden doll, Today.” He said casually. “If it were something I wanted, I could be a scarecrow tomorrow, a tin man the next, anything I wanted to be I can be.”

He leaned forward and grinned at Applin, his green eyes glowing brightly. “If I really wanted to, I could even steal your brothers body as my own. Anything with a soul is technically game for me to take over, or possess as some call it. How do you think I can be a beautiful worker girl one day and a showman the next?”

((To be continued!))

[soldierwinterthe]

Hell (Chapter Seven: Unexpected betrayal)

Gif not mine

Summary: Y/n Singer, after selling his soul to save Sam’s life, has accepted her destiny (or maybe not?). But her family doesn’t.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 1367

Warnings: Angst.

Chapter One: Fair Exchange Chapter Two: What Will We Do Without Her? Chapter Three: Fire and Ice Chapter Four: The Enemy of My Enemy, is My Friend Chapter Five: The Demon and The Huntress Chapter Six: The First Rule of Fight Club is: You do not Talk about Fight Club

"Sam!" I can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it. They lied to me all this time. The demons were doing to bring back Lucifer, the Devil in person, back to earth, and Dean, Sam and my dad didn’t tell me anything. And I was so stupid not to notice anything. And my father, does he know everything? How can they have done so? "Sam!" I yell again. I open the door, and I head to the living room, where I find all three, Dean, Sam and my dad, who is looking at me upset. Dean gets up and comes to me, wondering where I was. I move away from him, and look at Sam; it’s from him that I want to hear the truth. Ruby is lying, that no one is trying to bring Lucifer back to life, that no one wants to bring hell to earth. "It's true? Are demons trying to free Lucifer?" I ask to Sam. He looks at me with those puppy eyes, but they don’t affect me, not right now. "Y/n, we can explain you.." I look in the direction of my father; I feel so.. betrayed. Dean tries to get closer to me again, but I push him away. "You lied to me! It was happening all this, and you haven’t told me anything. I'm not dead yet, and you already keep me out of what is happening!" "Don’t say that. We did it to protect you." Dean says, the pain in his voice. "Protect me? I trust you, you are my family, and what do you do? Do you hold me out of such a serious thing? And you also said you did it to protect me? You know what? Fuck you." I take Bobby's keys from over the desk, and when I try to get away, Dean takes me by the arm. "Wait Y/n, we.."  he doesn’t end the sentence, which my hand closed to punch, striking his face. I watch him shuffle as he touches the point where I hit him. "I'm going to look for Lilith." "You can’t go on your own." Sam says, trying to get closer to me. "I’ll not be alone. With me there is Ruby." I smile sarcastically, more to avoid starting to cry, "How ironic, right? At this moment I trust more than a demon, than of you." That said, I leave home, and I head to the car where Ruby is waiting for me. We get in the car, and I pull away, without looking back.

After about seven hours of travel, I and Ruby arrive in Massachusetts, Salem. We hunt for a powerful demon in the city of witches. Ironic. "Where do I find Lilith?" I ask Ruby as I stop the car on the roadside. "What do you think of doing exactly? Point the gun at the head of the demon and shoot?" "..Yup?" Ruby opens her mouth to say something, but she stops; after getting off the car, I start following her. We walk with discretion, and in the meantime I think of what happened. I still can’t believe my father and Winchester lied to me so shamelessly. Sam is my best friend, I always told him everything; and instead he has hidden such a thing. Lucifer, the King of Hell. He can’t be freed, the world is already horrible, but the Devil.. Fuck, I punched Dean; and that badly to my hand. It makes me laugh; he wouldn’t have done my gesture for pleasure, but he deserved it. "We arrived."

Ruby's words bring me to reality. We are in a small neighborhood, with some semi-circular houses; Ruby tells me to follow her behind the trees, and she orders me to look inside one of the houses. I pick up the binoculars from inside the purse that I brought with me and i close it to my eyes; I focus on the dining room. Near the table are four people sitting with a little girl. Suddenly, the old man rises afraid; the little girl approaches him and looks at him with a macabre smile. The man takes his hands to his neck, as if something chokes him, then falls to the ground, helpless. "The little girl is Lilith!?" "She likes children.. this place is full of demons." I look around; a couple of people are positioned in front of the house, as if to protect it, and there are others not far from there. "I need to talk to her." I leave the cache to head to the home where Lilith is confined, when Ruby takes me away and locks me. "Are you crazy? Here is full of demons, and we are only two." "It's just me." Before Ruby realized what I meant, I hit her, dropping her to the ground. I get close to her body, and I take the killing knife-demons. This is my last chance to bring things back to 'normality'. Finally, I have the opportunity to break the deal, to stay alive; I could continue to hunt, stay with my dad, with Sam. Maybe I and Dean will finally have the opportunity to be together. Even though I punched him. And if I don’t succeed in killing Lilith, at least I'll try. With the knife in my hands, I approach the two demons in front of the house, and I succumb to both knocking each one. With a kick, I throw the front door down, and I head to the dining room. "Get out!" I say to the people still sitting. In a few seconds, we just stay alone, me and the little girl. "Hi Lilith." The little girl, sitting by the table, smiles with innocence, like a normal little girl. When her eyes become completely white, I understand she is not a little girl. Not anymore. I threw myself on her by pulling out the knife, but with a little sleight of hand, Lilith throws me to the wall. I try to move, but it's all worthless. The little girl approaches slowly to my paralyzed body, her furious look. "I remember you.." she says as she caresses a cheek, "I should’ve killed you so many years ago. But they have hidden you so well.." I look confused; I don’t understand what she's talking about exactly. How do she remember me, if it's the first time I meet her? And when did she ever try to kill me? "What are you talking about?" Lilith smiles at me with her white eyes. I'm about to die, I know. I smile. One year to wait for the hellhounds, and eventually I die a month earlier because of a demon. Because of Lilith. I would have at least wanted to salute my family better; even though I was still a bit angry with them, I had to apologize to them for how I behaved, and to throw myself into a real suicide mission. I would have told my father that he and mom were the best parents I could ever ask, and that I would not have changed it for anyone else in the world, not even for my biological father. I would have told Sam that having him as the best friend was an honor, and I would thank him for having been in the happy moments and in the sad moments. I would have just told Dean that he was an idiot. And I've never loved anyone like I love him. And I wanted more, I wanted to be with him, live with him day after day. Adios, I hear to say to Lilith. I close my eyes, and suddenly, I feel my throat tighten, more and more; the breath begins to fail. I try in all ways to free me, to do something, whatever. But nothing. I feel the eyelids become heavy, I start feeling tired. I can’t move my lips, and I feel that life is abandoning me. The last thing I see is my family, my parents. Sam. Dean. I can’t feel anything.

A scream. "Breathe.." "..c'mon breathe!" One shot. Two shots. "She doesn’t breathe Sam!" "Come on baby. Wake up.." "Dean.." "..Y/n, please.." "Dean.. it's too late.."

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[that-is-vexing]

How about Hartwin meeting through a hotline (for suicidal people, those with depression, whatever)? Eggsy calls it whenever things at home are too much for him (with Dean's demands and looking after Daisy when his mum's working). And he just monologues into his phone, not caring for any response. And Harry is of course on the other end, volunteering between shifts at Kingsman. (As fluffy as you can make it please ❤)

My heart *clutches chest*

(This got unfluffy but I hope I fixed it) (also it took really really really long I’m sorry luv) (also also why does this take place at Christmas)

~

“Hi, um, I don’t really know how to, how to use these things, so um...”

“Just talk. We’re here to listen, after all.”

Eggsy bites his lip. He’s hiding behind a Dumpster, the snow soaking through the seat of his jeans and landing cold and heavy on his head and shoulders. But he doesn’t want to be home right now.

“I can’t go home,” he says finally, thinking that’s as good a start as any.

“Why not?” asks the bloke on the other end, gently.

Eggsy’s lip trembles; he bites it again, hard, and takes a deep breath through his nose. “M’ stepdad... he said... I can’t go back, I just can’t. Not yet. Not until he’s sober. But he might hurt mum, or the baby--he won’t, he wouldn’t, he knows I’d kill ‘im--well, I’d try. He’s bigger’n me. But I’d fight him.”

Silence. Eggsy babbles on, talking about how Dean has been getting drunk at all hours of the day, lately, how tiring it is to take care of the baby, how horrible it is to see his mum getting more and more desperate to find a job as Dean drinks up more and more of their savings, how frustrating and demoralizing it is that Eggsy can’t find a job either, how terrible everything is in general. He knows others have it worse--fuck, even this Henry bloke must have it bad, to be working at a fucking hotline--but at the moment his own life is the bitter tragedy that takes center stage.

Henry listens. Doesn’t ask questions, doesn’t give advice, just listens. Eggsy finds himself crying as he talks, and rocking back and forth in his hiding place, and feeling so glad to get it out, get it away from him. When he’s done he plants his forehead on his knees and waits.

“Is that everything?” Henry asks, still gentle.

“Yeah,” Eggsy sniffles. “Yeah. That’s everything.”

~

Harry feels drained after that call, but he gets up, fortifies himself with a cup of tea, and goes back to his cubicle. The rules dictate he’s not allowed to call the police unless it’s a life-threatening situation; and while part of him is worried for the nameless young man, most of him (the spy part) is unconcerned. It’s only a boy with a bad home life. It’s not like there aren’t thousands of people in his situation in London alone.

~

Eggsy calls the hotline again the next day because Ryan and Jamal ditched him to go riding with a pair of pretty girls, Dean hit him when he admitted he still hadn’t found a job, mum cried for three hours straight, and Daisy wouldn’t stop screaming, no matter what anyone did. So Eggsy hides behind his dumpster and calls.

It’s Henry again. He greets Eggsy by name, warm and friendly, and Eggsy just breaks down, babbling out everything that had happened that day, apologizing that it’s only been a day, tripping over his words, unable to stop. When he’s done he leans his head on his knees, takes a breath, lets it out slowly.

“Sorry,” he croaks again.

“It’s alright. That’s why we’re here.”

Eggsy smiles faintly.

~

Sometimes Eggsy calls a few days in a row, sometimes he goes a week without. Harry finds it strange that Eggsy only calls him, until he’s getting tea one day and Marsha interrupts him to say, “That Eggy boy was transferred to you, you’d better hurry. He’s already crying.”

Harry abandons his cup of tea and hurries to his cubicle.

Yes, Eggsy is sniffling, and the moment Harry says “Hello?” he starts sobbing. Harry listens to him cry for a moment, startled, then tries cautiously, “Eggsy, what’s wrong?”

“Can’t... c-can’t tell you,” Eggsy gasps between sobs. “Can’t tell anyone. Dean said.”

Harry’s hand is inching for the computer mouse. He’s going to tip the police, damn the consequences. He just has to keep Eggsy on the line.

“What can you tell?” he asks gently, then, as the tears increase in intensity, he adds hastily, “Tell me about the dog park.”

“D-dog park?”

“You said you walk through the dog park every day. Did you see any good dogs?” He ignores the strange looks he was getting.

“All dogs are good dogs.” But at least Eggsy’s crying is winding down. He sniffs, hard. “Saw puppies. Lots of puppies.”

“Tell me about the puppies.”

So Eggsy does. Harry gets an email from the police while Eggsy is tentatively describing a play-fight he’d witnessed; they know the boy’s number, he’s called them many times about domestic violence. But there has never been any “hard evidence”. So they couldn’t arrest anyone.

Rage coils in Harry’s gut as he calmly talks Eggsy through the tears. When Eggsy is calmer, Harry asks, “What happened?”

Eggsy told him, and the rage explodes.

~~~

Five days later

Eggsy hasn’t been home for five days. He’s too scared. He hasn’t even stayed in the same neighborhood, avoiding all his usual hangouts.

But he has to go home. He has to make sure mum and Dais are alright.

So he gathers his wavering courage and slinks through the shadows to the estates. None of Dean’s gang are around, which is... startling. But he swallows hard and pushes on, climbing the stairs slowly.

He fumbles his key out of his pocket with shaky hands, but before he can open the door, it slams wide. He jumps, but when he sees it’s just mum, he relaxes.

“Mum--” he begins, and then he’s being hugged within an inch of his life, mum peppering his cheeks and forehead with kisses.

“Oh, god, babe, I thought I lost you too!” she sobs, and draws him into the flat. “The police called, they have Dean in custody, I thought they had you too, god, wee, I was so worried!”

“I’m sorry, mum. I--I had to run.” He can’t tell her why. But the bruises on her face are faded, and Daisy isn’t crying.

Daisy isn’t crying.

A curious coo draws Eggsy’s attention to the cot. Daisy is standing, clinging to the rail, and laughs when he looks at her. He’s never heard her laugh.

Eggsy walks over and picks Daisy up. “Look how big you got,” he whispers, smiling as she coos again and pats his face with her tiny hands. “Five days and you’re already bigger. Mum--mum, what happened?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t here to see. But... wee... I have a job. And Dean’s gone. And you’re home. And...” She covered her mouth with her hands, shaking, and Eggsy immediately went to her, one arm holding Daisy and the other wrapping around mum’s shoulders. “Oh, god, babe, it’s a fuckin’ Christmas miracle!”

That brings Eggsy’s head up, and he spots the paltry tree in the corner. Oh--that’s right. It is Christmas.

Why does that fill him with such warmth?

He looks at his mum and his sister and realizes why.

~

Harry watches through the camera he’d placed when he’d led the police on a raid of the flat. He toasts the little family with his brandy.

“Happy Christmas, Eggsy,” he murmurs warmly.

[angel78]

another failed attempt at seeing a new therapist

its literally pointless to try anymore. its honestly not even about “getting better” anymore its about the fact that i just want to be figured the fuck out already. i want to get it all out i want to understand i want to know what happened to me and what the hell is wrong with me... but i guess i’ve always done that myself anywhere. 

i have learned everything i have come to understand about myself in writing and art, mainly my own because that is where i am sorting myself out, but of course with others’ work as well. 

i was never allowed to see a therapist growing up, my parents didnt believe in mental illness and thought i was just crazy or dramatic or whatever else ive said it here before plenty of times. once i left renfrew i tried one or two but one i couldnt afford and the other made me uncomfortable. i had one therapist in wvu that didn’t help or understand at all and just made me feel like i was psycho and straight up would ask me if i paid before i sat down ???? when i finally came back to jersey, i tried to see another therapist in february and she turned me down entirely and said she could not help me or see me because i needed higher care and she couldnt be responsible for that. then finally i began seeing a therapist at my school who saw me for a few months who i thought i might finally be able to get something out of, maybe, but she told me she had to stop seeing me because i was too sick too and needed a higher care and i told her i refused to go to anything inpatient so she straight up said she cant help me anymore but we could have an appointment to find a good program for me and i never went because fuck you for that. right when things started peaking again she just didn’t want to help me anymore. i understand the “ethics” behind seeing someone who you deem “too unwell” to only be attending an hour long therapy session once a week but for gods sake she knew all of the reasons i couldnt do that and some of them were kind of bullshit in her opinion like me refusing to put school on hold again but some of them were fucking valid like money and not having a car at the time to even do an outpatient if i tried and my parents and just everything. 

then finally a few weeks ago i started seeing a new therapist, literally like the day after finding out my boyfriend has fucking cancer, and i saw her three times, spent the first two times having an insurance/money battle in the beginning, and the second time waited for her for 7 minutes after my appt was supposed to start and she still cut me off right after the allotted time was up technically not giving me the appropriate 45 full minutes ???? but not only that she called me by the wrong name ???? only says elementary shit like “so how are depression and anxiety” and just nods and doesnt offer any feedback when i talk. she didnt try at all to get to know my circumstances like i always had to fish for things to talk about because she couldnt even start asking me questions of her own since the first session which like how is that supposed to help me i came here because I NEED HELP and then even though the insurance sent me a document with this therapists specializations and eating disorders WERE LISTED AS ONE OF THEM she says that she doesnt know much about eating disorders and isnt trained in them so she doesnt know how to really help and she then went on to tell me she thinks i just need a higher care and that we could have our last session (the following week from last thursday which would have been tomorrow) so we can find a program together that i should start ???? yeah nice way to say see you never and take another $50 from me when you cant even rememebr my FUCKING NAME WHEN ITS SITTING ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU LITERALLY LISTED EATING DISORDERS IN YOUR SPECIALIZATIONS WHEN YOU APPARENTLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM ACCORDING TO YOU sorry im livid but anyway now im back to no therapist and that makes a consecutive three suggesting i needed a higher care but i guess at least this one was just a complete idiot and didnt say she refused to help me anymore 

so i just wanted to post a rant update about that and i guess from here i will just continue

i started class and my last week of training for my new serving job yesterday, i had class at 8:00 after not sleeping all night and have three more classes and then training again, i look cute today but no one lked my selfies on twitter so that was very nice also, im speeding frivolously, and ,,,,

my mom and i got into two big dumb fights over the last week over something so stupid but as always she had to go on and curse me off and tell me she doesnt want me in “her house” which is really funny because how can you call it your house when you 1) dont even have a job therefore do not pay bills 2) my dad, as much as he hurts me, just had to get a second job again to support my family when my mom doesnt even have one and doesnt even love my dad anymore but she’ll reap the benefits of having a man willing to do that for her 3) she literally left us like two months ago to live with her friend then decides to come back because “it was hard driving back and forth and i couldnt see the kids everyday” which honestly, to me, translates to it was too hard coming here every day just to bake cakes 4) she told me whenever she does get money (somehow???) she has full intentions of moving out and getting her own place so even if she did have money i guess making this number 5) she would be PUTTING IT TO GETTING HER OWN PLACE AND NOT THE HOUSE ANYWAY SO I REST MY CASE DOESNT LOOK LKE YOUR HOUSE TO ME BITCH and i left sunday night and went to be with vincent and i get to sleep with him all week and then yesterday my mom tried to send me a meme so i would respond and laugh and we could pretend nothing happened but im tired of doing that im tired of acting like just because im their child i dont deserve an apology like fuck if i dont even deserve help on my medical bills ???? i think i at the very least deserve an apology every now and again ???? especially since they are a signficant part of the reason I AM THIS WAY and then yesterday my dad texted me asking where ive been and i told him what happened and actually tried to have a mature conversation and tell him how i felt like an adult and why i dont think my mom acted fairly and he literally left me on read so thats how my family life is going

otherwise eating is impossible unless its in capsule form and and im overly paranoid and i cant drive without imagining a parallel universe every car that comes into my vicinity somehow crashes into me and not even in the suicidal way literally in the twitching at the sight of an approaching vehicle and shaking my head and closing my eyes while driving because all i can see are these traumatizing visions of things that have never happened to me and im really depressed and i have no friends 

and i really sound like a whiney bitch right now but i havent posted much about whats going on in my life lately and clearly !!!! i dont have a therapist to tell !!!!

i keep wanting to write and have fragments of words but it doesnt feel right yet and i know that

i have no money and my phone and car bills are due next week and i wont be making any money until next week MAYBE

literally the only good thing right now is that vincent is doing pretty well, its really hard to see him this way a lot of the time but its getting easier because im getting used to seeing him bald or how little he eats or helping him when he’s sick, as far as we know the chemo seems to be doing what its supposed to do, he is doing well, i hope it stays that way because he’s literally everything to me and the only thing that makes me want to be on this earth