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Anyone else remember that part of Skyfall where the Bond villain is like "I bet you're struggling to remember your training while I'm sexually intimidating you" and Bond says "hey why do you think I've never had sex with a man before" and the Bond villain is like "well I never." Because I do, and I have some follow-up questions

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What is your headcanon for Ben Whishaw's Q's real name? I've seen a few thrown around and am curious about the consensus.

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✨00Q end of the year fic rec list ✨ (to commemorate the year of the lord 2023 when this ship came back to kick my ass)

the simplest of crimes by pdameron - fake marriage AU. my favorite 00Q fake married au just because the stakes are so low like they didn't have to do all that but the build up is so good.

come a lily, come a lilac by pdameron - florist!Q AU. this really got me giggling and twirling my hair.

James Bond Will Return by sorion - post-Spectre James comes back. a very charming character study.

as permanent as stone cathedrals by pdameron - pining Q. beautifully written with just the right amount of whump.

people can surprise you (or not) by pdameron - fake relationship but posh. i love whodunnits.

Hold Tight by orphan_account - Spectre fix-it. and fix it they did. also has my second favorite Q name.

lacunae (just the blood you owe) by finestkind - Q offers comfort as bond deals with grief. this fic honestly makes me ache, the way it handles friendship and grief and love UGH.

Say Something (I'm Giving Up On You) by Brihna - Spectre re-write where Q and James sleep before he goes off to Mexico. possibly my favorite Spectre fix-it, love emotional constipation and miscommunication.

Crossing the Bar by GwynDuLac - Q pulls bond out of retirement for an emergency mission. the best mission fic i have ever read hands down.

bloom on my skin, echo in my soul by Areiton - soulmate au. gorgeous writing.

if I couldn't be strong by SailorChibi - post-Spectre James is found abandoned in a hospital in a coma. i love how quietly vindictive Q is in this.

a bloodless coup by Ark - marathon sex. very vulnerable.

I Could've Been a Maths Teacher by Brihna - Q branch gets invaded. v good translation of the comic into prose.

I Don't Take Your Pleasure For Granted by Catchclaw - Q develops a crush. love me some pathetic Q.

I Won't Shiver, I Won't Shake by Only_1_Truth - Skyfall re-write, lots of Q whump. the hurt is so good but the comfort is even better. plus i love attack roombas.

Favours by dhampir72 - pining from Q's POV. fun fact: my gf once quoted a line of this fic to me and i knew immediately which fic she was reading, that's how much i've read this.

rain by Aniron84 - touch starved Q. god GOD, this fic!! there was a time in my life, i read this multiple times a day. the description of loneliness is so on point it always hurts.

Fidelity by marlowe_tops - Q seems to have picked up a stray. local idiot doesn’t know he’s in a relationship, struggles mentally

Indelible by enjolras_lexa - 5+1 of bond breaking into Q's apartment. quite gentle and funny.

A Hitch in the Holster by APrettySpy - Q is having A Time during a heat wave and like Q i'm not immune to the holster

when the world isn't fair by Mlle_Heloise - James rescues Q's holiday. warm and fluffy.

The Pros and Cons of Wayward Agents by Brihna - Q whump with a protective Bond. is it bad to be all teehee while reading someone beat someone else to unconsciousness

Best Dressed by HandsAcrossTheSea - PWP with kilts! really good p0rn and with bottom Bond to boot!

Through A New Lens: A Spectacular Love Story by christinefromsherwood - Q discovers he has a glasses kink, or does he? listen, i too am not immune to daniel craig in glasses so i can relate.

talk / listen by thestalwartheart - dirty talk. a masterclass in p0rn honestly, SO good.

The Inevitability of Time by dhampir72 - soulmate au. will never stop recommending this, it's so tragic and yet not?

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okay the forgetting how much eggsy wanted to fuck harry post was like half a joke but what's not a joke is that i did fully forget that they killed roxy and jb and one of eggsy's friends in golden circle and let me tell you on my rewatch my mouth dropped

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Bond falls victim to what I am now calling “Steve Rogers Syndrome,” where a main character throws away his found family (which the audience has become much more attached to) in favor of a bland, boring, nuclear/heterosexual life. Just because Bond doesn’t get his “happy ending” doesn’t mean that he doesn’t fall into this trope.

I think a lot of people would agree with me when I say that Bond & Madeline have no chemistry. They had no chemistry in Spectre and they continue to have none in NTTD. And yet, we’re supposed to care about their relationship because 1) the narrative (i.e. Bond) tells us, instead of shows us, that he loves her, and 2) there is a child (which the narrative also tells us that we should care about).

But the truth is that Bond doesn’t trust Madeline. Not really. The second he’s attacked by Spectre, he immediately blames her and doesn’t even question if he’s wrong (and she doesn’t really try to convince him otherwise). Now, you may chalk this up to Bond not trusting anybody, but here’s where we get to the found family: because he does trust his MI6 family, implicitly, immediately.

He trusts Eve enough to tell her about the scientist, Feliks, what happened in Cuba, etc., and to ask for her help. He trusts Q so much that he gives him the flashdrive he recovered in Cuba, he stays with Q in his apt while he’s in London, he places his life in Q’s hands multiple times throughout Skyfall, Spectre, and NTTD. He trusts Mallory - even after knowing his shadiness with Herakles, he still trusts him enough to go back under his command. He even trusts Nomi after only a few days of meeting her - enough to trust her to have his back on the island, enough to trust her with Madeline and his child.

So the fact that Bond doesn’t trust Madeline is a huge, huge red flag. To me, the “trilogy” of Skyfall, Spectre, and NTTD were all about establishing Bond’s support system and family within MI6. In Casino Royale and QoS, he really only had M, and no other connections to MI6 beyond her. But starting with Skyfall, he begins to build a support network of people he does trust in MI6, and the audience begins to trust them (and love them) along with Bond.

This simply doesn’t apply to Madeline, because Bond doesn’t trust her, and so the audience is never shown why we should trust her or love her.

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Shout out to Colin firth. One of my favourite men to play a “Harry” at least three times in his lifetime💀💀

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oh i’m yours? then microchip me

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like it's MY fault my love language is acts of service and all i know how to do is kill

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Art commission done by the wonderful and super-talented @sh2jw for my James Bond x Q (00Q) fic, His Keeper. I’m so happy with the way the gorgeous drawings turned out! Thanks so much, my dear Sh2jw! You’re the best!!

His Keeper- fake husbands/ domestic 00Q. Protecting the Quartermaster entails a special set of circumstances, and Q is the last one to know.

“James adores me…and I happen to love him very much… ”

No sooner had the door closed behind them and Bond was crowding Q against it. During their short walk back in the downpour, they were soaked through and through. Q stared at him, eyes too wide behind the slightly fogged up glasses, tendrils of dark hair plastered to his forehead and the sides of his face. He looked like a forlorn kitten. His breath came quickly, feathering softly across Bond’s face— they were that close.

“It’s true,” Bond found himself saying, “when you said I adore you. I do. I do because I’m in love with you.”

The quick breaths turned into a sharp gasp, then stilled, as though Q had ceased to breathe.

“So tell me,” continued Bond, willing his voice not to shake, “that you mean the other part. Tell me that’s true, too.”

There was silence for a heartbeat, then another. And another. Then he did the unthinkable: “Please.”

Q stared at Bond for a moment more, green eyes slowly filling with tears that spilled in a trickle down his face even as the tension eased from his frame and he seemed to melt into Bond’s hands. Then those red lips, impossibly soft, parted around a single whispered word that managed to convey everything that Q could not put into words: entreaty, yearning and, yes, surrender.

“James.”                                                                                    

Read the fic at AO3.

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July 15th is Tenshi Day!

 It’s the day for remembering Alexis_tenshi aka slimysuckers, our former Team civilian member, who was a dear friend for so many.

 Ways to participate:

Sharing stories about Alexis

Making gifs, drabbel, or drawing about her favourite ships

Reblogging her entries from the former fest

Simply writing/speaking her name

Whatever you feel comfortable with, as also without any pressure please ❤️

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you know those tropes where you come across them and are like Hard No Thank You but then you see the author’s name and are like… 😒 i will read this FOR YOU 😒…

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people saying that this is the first time tumblr has found daniel craig hot clearly weren’t around for 2012 skyfall tumblr when both the bond/silva and bond/q ships burst onto the scene in all their psychosexual glory and this place was full of gif sets studying every single eye movement and tiny smile craig has made in his entire bond career

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So, like. Listen. I know it’s canon that Bond is old money and has a family estate and presumably a trust fund and all that.

And I have always personally headcanoned that Q’s background is very similar, and they have that in common. So when they shack up, they both bring trust funds to the table and have plenty of money to do whatever they please.

But I also think it’s extremely funny if Q is independently wealthy and Bond is NOT. I think would be funny if Bond has spent the last decade living large at the British taxypayer’s expense and now he has extremely expensive tastes…but he also has to figure out what he’ll do after he retires and can no longer charge all those Michelin-starred meals and Brioni suits to his expense account.

I think it would be EXTREMELY funny if Q just looks at Bond and basically goes, ‘…Yeah, he is NEVER going to be able to learn to clip coupons or buy off-the-rack clothes. He would fling himself off a bridge if we tried to make him drive a used Toyota. *sigh* Okay, so I guess I have to make him my kept man…’

Trophy husband Bond. Sugarbaby Bond. Come on, it would be FUNNY. I just want Q to pat his husband on the head and hand him the keys to a new sportscar because he was a Good Boy this week and therefore deserves a present.

Mind you don’t destroy this one, darling!! All right, here’s the credit card, go amuse yourself. Play a few rounds of golf or buy yourself a new watch, or something. I’ll see you when I’m home from work, dear!

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No, but I really do want a million post-Skyfall AUs where M lives.

I want her to deal with the horrifying indignity of being forcibly retired and having to, like, take up some hobbies or something. I want her and Bond to be awkward besties.

I dunno, maybe in this AU, he was also forced into desk work after Skyfall. Maybe they’re both just kind of glumly wandering around taking pottery classes together, then going back to M’s flat to drink whisky and shit-talk Mallory.

And of course, OF COURSE I want M to bear witness to the start of the 00Q love affair. Of course I do. Of course I want Bond going up to her, all cagey, trying to get information on Q.

And I want the slowly dawning and utterly horrified moment of revelation where she understands that Bond is not saying, ‘Give me intel on Q, because I’m suspicious of his loyalty/motivations.’ Nope! Bond is saying, ‘Give me intel on Q, because I want to know if he likes Italian food and jazz concerts. Just..you know, out of curiosity. I’m asking for a friend!’

I want M to be like, “Jesus Christ, I wish you’d let Silva murder me. I wish Silva had murdered both of us. I wish we’d left our rotting corpses up in the Highlands and never had to have this conversation. This is so bloody undignified.”

And then I want her to be the bitchiest, crankiest, most resentful matchmaker in the history of humanity.

Yeah, she’s gonna get these two idiots their happily-ever-after BUT she is also going to hate every minute of it and complain the whole time.

Because of course she is. She’s still M, whether she’s got the job title or not!

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hello OP, I wrote this in 20mins, I am sorry:

“Happy Christmas, sir!”

Q brightens as he opens the slim case, revealing the unmistakable form of a fountain pen. He loves all fountain pens, but this one--this one is special.

“Oh, R, you’re a miracleworker!” he exclaims, gently plucking the pen from its cradle. “I’ve been looking for one of these to finish my collection for years!” It’s heavy in his hands, a touch heavier even than the ones he got last month; probably needs a thorough cleaning, and oh, he can’t wait to take it apart for that. He doesn’t need to see a certificate of authenticity. He knows just by sight and touch that this is a late-13th century pen, the one he’s been sighing over during tea breaks, on the collector’s site he still can’t afford but still haunts.

R is looking very smug, as she ought to. “I added a bit of a surprise to it, as well,” she says, chest puffing up a little. “I hope you enjoy it.”

“I have no doubts whatsoever that I will love it,” Q tells her, beaming.

~

Later that night, when he gets home, Q decides to tinker with his precious new toy. He can’t help it, the moment he’s attended his cats, he goes to his workroom and brings out the pen.

It’s nearly meditative, assembling his tools and ordering them just so: two small tubs of cleaning solutions, a bottle of distilled water, and silver polish; soft pliers to tug the nib free if he can’t get it with just his fingers; several small rags; a box of cotton swabs. Q hums to himself, feeling very warm and appreciated.

It’s just as he pulls his magnifying glass closer, to study the registration marks on the pen’s nib, that he realizes that the weight is far too balanced for a pen this old.

Upon closer inspection, there is evidence that the pen has been tampered with. There are neat seams where the barrel has been cut and then closed again, and the nib is much too sharp. The back of Q’s neck prickles. A weapon? An explosive? Is this a plot to kill him? A nasty little voice in the back of his head, the one that listens to the agents, murmurs that it’s entirely possible.

But R wouldn’t do that to him. Maybe she’s just done some kind of modification. That’s far more likely, isn’t it? Of course. There’s no need to be suspicious.

Except that, the moment his fear is muffled by reason, crushing disappointment hits him. This beautiful, historical pen, that he had so looked forward to fixing up and using for his hand-lettering projects, has already been scrubbed and polished, and then cut up to hide some other purpose. A purpose no one has explained to him.

He thinks of his favorite agent, suddenly, and the painting they had looked at. Grand old war ship, being hauled away for scrap.

This, of course, is very close to being ungrateful, and Q hates feeling ungrateful. He scowls, and says out loud, “It doesn’t matter what I was planning. It’s a pen, and I’m still glad to have it. And if I want to figure out what it does, I might as well give it a proper go-over.”

~

“Nice umbrella,” 003 says a few days later, admiring the ultra-fine creation.

“Thank you,” Q says, smiling. “It was a Christmas gift.”

It would be so cute if Six (or even just Q Branch) had a sign up for Secret Santa!

Yes! omg can you imagine the gifts you'd get from people in Q Branch?

"Oh, a pen. Thanks!"

*opens the cap to find it's actually an umbrella*

Hysterical! I love it.