#social masking

[alvinmichaelmurphyseville]

“Well, It’s official. Jeanette and I have done the research. I’m NOT an extrovert. Never was, in fact.”

“I’m an ambivert. That means I flip between gaining and losing energy from social situations. It means that back when I was classic Alvin full time, I was pushing myself WAY too hard to party and socialize nonstop, even when I wasn’t feeling up to it.”

“These days, my introvert tendencies cannot be ignored as easily. Jeanette says I need to give the introvert inside me love too, because that will make being the extrovert me more fun when it’s time to be him.”

“I dunno how to react to this development. Have I really been ignoring my social battery for so long? It’s just strange to think of myself as someone who hates being alone and yet loses energy if I socialize too much.”

“The confusion continues, I guess. But…weirdly, I don’t feel all identity crisis-y about this shocking reveal.”

[obaewankenope]

The moment when your friend mentions how they've blocked someone bc they have a Bad Take and you find out it's because that blocked person thinks a blorbo can't be autistic bc they have good social skills and figured their Ultra Trap Card was the symptoms of autism which are GENERALISED AND DO NOT ACCOUNT FOR MASKING SKILLS OR LEARNED ABILITY TO SOCIALISE and you can't bite the person who basically is spreading misinformation because your friend won't tell you who it was....

I wanna bite them okay, let me have some fun damn it

[auressea]

This is still a work in progress for me! I'm over 50 years old..

It's also the best advice I never got- but wish I had.

SO MUCH of who I am, rests in breaking the 'rules' that have been imposed on my by family and my wider culture.

SET YOURSELF FREE!

If you’ve never been all that disobedient before, you can and should start really, really small. For example, you can wear the slightly revealing or gloriously trashy-looking garment that makes your mom roll her eyes and sigh despondently every time she sees you put it on. You will feel judged and disapproved of when you put it on, but that is fine. Your goal is to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and continue with your desired behavior anyway.  Saunter down the steps in that highlighter-yellow Garfield crop top with your chest hair flowing over the neckline, and harness as much courage as you can muster. It’s okay if you feel like a beacon of sin. Just keep it moving. Your emotions are not the target here. Your behavior is. You can feel however you are feeling in the moment so long as you keep acting like you’re free.  Do you have a favorite TV show that a partner or roommate vocally hates? Try watching that show around them without apologizing or defensively joining them in mocking the program. At first, you probably won’t be able to enjoy the show while in their presence. You’ll feel self-conscious about everything they find annoying or cringe-inducing about the show, and so focused on their reactions that you can’t relax. That’s okay. Allow those feelings of embarrassment and guilt to exist and pass through you without giving up. In time, you will be able to ignore these reactions more, and enjoy the activity.  You want to see the needle of discomfort moving down just a little, like Link’s body temperature meter in Tears of the Kingdom when he puts on a breathable outfit in a hot climate. You’re not gonna go from roiling hot to frosty cold in an instant. But after a certain point, you won’t be actively in pain anymore. Things are just gonna slowly suck less, bit by bit, until they are finally okay. That’s true of most major life adjustments, I find.  Probably the best way to develop self-advocacy skills while growing in your distress tolerance is simply by telling other people no. Do this without explanation or hedging. Nitpicky aunt wants to hear all about your dating life? “No, I don’t want to talk about that.” Unreliable ex-friend wants you to do them the tiny favor of moving their entire home gymnasium into a new third story walk-up? “No, I’m not available.” Manipulative shift supervisor wants to cajole you into sticking around for another three hours to close? “No.”  As many advice columnists smarter than me have already intoned, “no” is a complete sentence. “No” requires no explanation. “No” is not subject to debate. “No” can be repeated over and over like a broken record if a disrespectful person acts like they can’t hear it. And you can walk away at any time to make your “no” physical and impossible to argue with, when someone has proven they don’t respect your boundaries. 

you can read or listen to the full piece for free here

[abitboldshop]

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[foldingfittedsheets]

I think something a lot of other people can relate to is the way that you get so conditioned to discomfort that you stop registering it.

I remember sitting at the table with my family, eating dinner as a child. I’d try to eat, because of course I was hungry. But sometimes the flavor or texture was so repugnant that it moved into a category of Not Food.

“Two more bites before you can leave the table.”

“I can’t,” I’d say, trying to explain the impossibility.

But because I was a child they heard, “I won’t,” and made me sit at the table. I’d sit in dull agonized silence, bored and hungry for hours until bedtime when they’d give up. I’d hate myself for not eating and my parents for forcing me to sit there. The few forcefeeding moments ended in vomit.

They’d say, “If you don’t eat this you can’t eat a snack later,” and I moved past trying to communicate my discomfort into accepting that I’d just be hungry.

That state of affairs didn’t last, because my parents realized nothing could force me to eat so they catered to my palate, worrying they’d starve me. But the message stuck. If you can’t do anything about a situation, just accept the suffering.

A few years later my mother called me off the playground to ask, “Are you limping?”

I shrugged. My feet had hurt for a long time, but that was just the way things were now. My mom pulled my socks and shoes off and gasped. The soles of my feet were covered in huge painful planters warts.

“Why didn’t you say anything?!” She demanded but I could only shrug at her. I’d learned a long time ago that saying things about my discomfort didn’t matter, so now I had no words. Sometimes things hurt and sometimes they don’t. I simply accepted and did my best.

Now as an adult trying to learn to improve my own conditions can be hard. If I make food that I can’t eat I’ll force myself to sit at the counter still, full of guilt and self loathing, trying to will myself to eat it.

At first I needed my betrothed to gently take it away to present me with something I could eat. Now on my own I can usually admit that it’s not happening before too long and get something else, but I still feel guilty.

Laying in bed at night waiting for my betrothed to finish getting ready I let out a huge sigh of relief when they turned the lights off.

“Why didn’t you turn them off if they bothered you?” they asked the first time it happened.

“I didn’t even know it was bothering me until it was gone.”

Assessing my physical state now to see if I can improve it is something I’m still relearning but I’m relieved to finally have the space and support to do it.

[risesthenight]

neurotypicals will SWEAR they support you but the second you unmask they stare at you weirdly and question why you’re acting differently

thanks for supporting me! i feel so seen right now!! let me just put this back on…

[po-pulari-tics]

Unpopular opinion: we should all wear masks as much as possible. Forever.

Immuno compromised people were in danger long before 2019. How many people could we have saved, just by masking?

Seriously. Disabled people deserve to live without fear.

We never know if we're carrying a disease or not, since most symptoms only show up after we're contagious.

Very useful in a world with cameras everywhere.

Even if your masking is not perfect, it is still better than nothing. Every step, even the smallest ones, is another layer of protection for immuno compromised people.

Wouldn't it feel good to save a life by doing something so simple?

Thank you and goodnight!

Edit: this is about all mask preventable disease, not just covid.

[unveilandresist]

by January 10th 1 in 3 people will have had this wave of covid. covid causes long term damage with each infection and wears down your immunity. you do not want this. there is no cure for long covid or me/cfs and there is a significant chance (last I checked I think it was 1/5 infections) of getting long covid that increases with each infection. please protect yourself and your loved ones by wearing a mask. variants have become more transmissible so a n95 or kn95 is the minimum protection to keep yourself reasonably safe(r) from getting covid.

it is important to understand often viruses do not simply clear up and go away. like chicken pox and shingles or what we now think of as polio that is actually post polio syndrome. polio symptoms were mild and 75% of cases are asymptomatic. we do not yet see the full scope of what this virus will do over our lifetimes. as someone who had my entire life derailed by me/cfs after having mono, (almost 10 years ago! it hasn't gotten better!) we have to take pathogens more seriously if we care about ourselves and our communities.

I'm willing and open to talk with people who want to understand better what covid does to our bodies and how we can best practice community care and also harm reduction if we're stuck in unsafe situations at home or work (certain mouthwashes and nasal sprays can help).

if you're watching what's happening in Palestine and live in the US, the government doesn't care about your life either. They lied about palestine and they lied about covid too. It is not just a cold.

[thepeacefulgarden]

[kindest-little-fella-in-town]

hear me out…. hear me out………

[bluemoontarot]

I have found that the biggest deterrent to assholes is asking "why?" Over and over.

"We can't have universal healthcare!"

Why?

"Because I don't wanna pay for a strangers health!"

Why?

"Because if they can't afford their own health care that isn't my problem!"

Why?

And so on and so on. Keep making them dig. Keep making them explain until they can't anymore and are faced with nothing but the ugly mask of bias and prejudice. Only then can they truly see that taking it off is an option. Whether they do or not is up to them. And that choice tells you whether they deserve more of your energy or not.

Trans kids can't be trans. Why? Why not? Why?

Free food is bad for ppl. Why? Why? Why? Why is feeding ppl bad?

Why?

Why is helping one another bad?

Why is doing what humans are genetically designed to do, to help and care for one another to ensure survival, bad?

[little-miss-ghostess]

[bluerosefox]

Masks and Moonlit Night

-Crashes through DPxDC window and sticks a new AU sticky note down on everyones foreheads-

ANGER MANAGEMENT MASQUERADE BALL AU!

Jazz is forced by her parents to go to all Masquerade ball at Vlad's, whose using Jazz as both a way to keep Danny in line (as well as Jazz, basically Danny can't fight back or he'll hurt Jazz and Jazz can't fight back because he'll also hurt Danny who he has locked up at the moment) and to 'impress' the elites (As much as Vlad wants to use Danny for the party he knows the boy would do something to embarrass him in front of them, he at least knows Jazz will keep her manners in check) with how intelligent his goddaughter is.

During the ball, Jazz (in a stunning dress and mask, think like manhwa worthy outfit tbh if you want) meets Jason (who lost the Bats/Birds most recent 'Not it' game and was made to go with Tim to Vlad's party) and both hit it off when they meet in the garden, under moonlight, both wanting some fresh air.

Jazz wants to enjoy her time with Jason but worries about Danny and thus tries to leave and figure a way to help him without tipping Vlad off she was trying to save her brother. However she notices she's being watched by some ghosts Vlad employed and no doubt would report her should she even try. So she kinda uses Jason as way to keep them being unaware of her planning... or at least that was the case until she noticed another Team Phantom member sneaking into Vlad's place and knows its only a matter of time before her brother is freed.

Within the hour she gets a text from Danny who tells her, he's out and gonna fight Vlad for locking him up, that Dani is with him too so it'll be double beat down and that he'll come get her soon.

She is pulled away from the text when Jason asks what books she likes to read and now with the weight of her brother needing to be safe, or as safe as he could be, is lifted off her shoulder she answers.

Its magical, its wonderful, and for a moment Jazz is able to actually enjoy this party, ignoring the pained hits Vlad was no doubt receiving from what she can hear with her liminal enchanced hearing, because talking to Jason, or J as he introduced himself as, was very fun and wonderful and wow he was very handsome even with his mask and-

Jazz is startled out of her wondering thoughts when she could hear someone in the party scream, no doubt Danny, Dani, and Vlad's fight probably bleed into the main hall and she could see people starting to run out.

Jazz sits on the bench as Jason goes running in, no doubt curious as to what is happening and going to get his 'brother' Tim who he came to the party with out. Jazz takes off her mask and sits it down the bench and waits before Dani appears and says they should get going, Danny is keeping an angry Vlad busy and that she can take Jazz home.

By the time Jason comes back, with a researching on his phone Tim, all he finds of the charming woman he met at the dumb ball he got dragged to was her mask on the bench.

[secretly-a-catamount]

tim drake would rather die than kill innocent people and tim drake killed hundreds of supervillain henchpeople with long-range detonation explosives that one time are two separate headcanons that, contrary to what the fandom discourse would have you believe, can actually coexist at the same time.

there’s even a psychologist term for it.

it’s called compartmentalization!

[redsray]

one thing i love about protective batfam is you can flip it in a kinda way that it . . . shows more when they're in their wayne personas, during galas and stuff.

like, yes, obviously they're protective while in costume and all have each other's backs and all that. but also consider: them being overly protective of one another during galas, then making fun of each other over rooftops that very same night.

Red Hood, who had just scared some creep off as Jason from Damian a few hours before hand: I will push you off this rooftop.

Robin, knows fully well Hood would push him off the rooftop but also it's his big brother who didn't let a weird stranger get even near him: Boo-hoo. Try it, imbecile.

Tim, directing the conversation with a socialite to himself because he sees Dick getting exhausted: Hello, I haven't met you, yet. Who might you be?

Dick, smiling despite himself because Tim had threatened bodily harm on him the previous the night because Nightwing woke Red Robin up after he fell asleep on a rooftop: I'll excuse myself.

Cass, showing Duke who to avoid and how to manage galas because he's still quite new to the scene: You can hide here sometimes, if it gets too much. All little siblings do. Dick, too.

Duke, seeing that exact smile but more mischievous the night before because Cass introduced him to rooftop tag but also hid his grappler giggling and saying 'all is fair in rooftop tag': Thanks, Cass. Love you.

[houseofpurplestars]

Socialists said "what? Like it's hard?"

All attendees at the #Socialism2024 conference are required to wear a mask.

And it’s fine. No one’s complaining nor rebelling.

Everyone is complying because that’s what you do when you care about others when Covid is still very much happening.

[image: Selfie of me wearing a mask at the Socialism 2024 conference in Chicago McCormick Place.]

— The BERN Identity (@bern_identity) August 31, 2024