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empoart · 1 year

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Unfinished pages from an unfinished Eurovision 2023 comic

#yeah I was overly ambitious once again #for two months a year my Eurovision obsession reaches a pathological stage #I planned 30-40 pages of a Eurovision 2023 Fantasy AU where Philipp Kirkorov is the big villain and #each artist has weapons/powers based on their song/performance #but who am I kidding of course I couldn't finish such a thing #esc 2023 #eurovision 2023 #so much time gone to waste #and yeah the monster is based on the 'Ça m’ennuie pas' performance

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shannonsketches · 3 months

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my main theory for why Vegeta in super went back on his ‘Goku’s just the best and I accept that’ at the end of Z is that prior to that Vegeta had never actually spent any real Time with Goku outside of battle, and didn’t realize Goku’s not blunt, he just doesn’t Think before he talks. Or before he does anything. He’s like a little kid. He’s a goofy little goober. That’s just what he’s like all the time.

And so after buu they’re chill and it’s peace time and Vegeta has time to get to know him and is like ‘oh my god he’s not doing a bit he’s not just acting like a silly fun guy in front of his kids he’s ONE of the kids he’s a dumbass fr I can’t be weaker than a dumbass’ and that’s why the dynamic shifted between them and Vegeta’s squarely the adult in the room now.

#He spent so much time trying to catch up he didn’t Realize he was running after a toddler #And by the time he got close he was like ‘what the fuck what the fUCK ABSOLUTELY NOT’ fjdjdjdjd #dbtag #At least in the manga the anime idk Goku’s different Vegeta’s different everyone’s different fjdjdj #‘You’re so smart Vegeta!’ ‘Who wouldn’t be compared to you?!’ Lives in my head rent free thfjdjdj #That’s a dude who’s gone through all five stages of grief over how much time he wasted giving Goku credit where dumb luck was to blame fjdj #Not to say Goku doesn’t work his ass off but geets learning the stars actually align for that man must’ve been so validating fjdjdjdjdn #SO infuriating but SO validating djdjdjdjd

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skunkes · 9 months

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#i went and got Examined and Cleaned at dentist and of course paid with my own money #which i save for these exact reasons! health stuff #and i feel much better after going... like in general #i needed a cleaning its been a while since my last one #anyway i get home and both my parents are acting like it was all a waste of time and money #which makes sense bc like. this is only my second time ever going to a dentist. ykwim #i never went to doctors growing up because Waste Of Money We Dont Have #so obvs they think that way #but it Affects Me. ykwim. like oh i really am going to have insane obsessive massive self doubt over every decision i make until i die...ok #like maybe i shouldtve gone maybe it wldve gone away by itself i dont knowwwww #joining the war on All The Men In My Family Dying Bc They Dont Seek Medical Care on the side of the Men #talkys

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snootchie-bootchies · 1 month

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Random Stranger Things thought this morning:

Why wasn't Kali ever brought back?

#Like they spent so much time and plot introducing her and having El build up a relationship with her and then she was just gone?#Like why wasn't she brought back in season 4 at least when we focus a lot on the lab that season especially in the early days #I understand we had one/vecna to show how the upside down was created by El but why couldn't they include Kali in that too?#Idk it just weird to me that they spent so much time introducing her not to use her?#I enjoyed her too and liked her and El's sisterhoodship #She should've went back when El instead of staying with her friends back in California #What wasted potential #Kali Prasad #Stranger Things

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deckof-dragons · 2 months

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I put all those points into Rhetoric and returned to that container again and again and then save-scummed the roll once the chance hit above 50% and all that was inside was a rich asshole. I'm annoyed about being trolled so hard but also, yes, a little amused about being trolled so hard. It's set up as a mystery; the container must have something cool inside it, why else would it be there and have multiple indicators of being noteworthy? And the way to open it is with Rhetoric, weird and mysterious, making the draw to open it so strong. But it's just a guy that only seems cool until you actually speak to him and realize he's an obnoxious asshole. Not worth.

#deck speaks #let's play deck #disco elysium #I'm more amused then annoyed about being trolled like this but also man do I wish something cool was in there #I guess the skill points haven't really gone to waste even if I would've put them in something else if not for the container #I got high Rhetoric now I guess #I've been loving the game so far regardless #very pleasantly surprised to find so much funny stuff #I'd assumed it was going to be super serious all the time

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laniidae-passerine · 3 months

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I’m finding that the laziest moments of Doctor Who’s writing are the ‘retroactive twists’ - when the show runner reveals something happened way back over there, in the past, before they were even running the show. And we swear it happened, way over there, far back, and you didn’t see it because of reasons but it’s definitely been happening! And it totally makes sense and I absolutely didn’t just pull it out my ass to justify my paper thin plotline! All this kind of writing does is make me miss self contained season length plots. We’ve had people complaining that Moffat was guilty of the “this thing is big and scary and it’s going to happen, oh god it’s showing up, we’re going to discover what it truly is….. next season!!!!!!” plotline (and yes. he was. twelve is my fav doctor but yeah Moffat loved a mysterious horse and a big stick) but now suddenly when RTD gets out his own mysterious horse and a big stick, it’s got to be genius! everything is eventually going to make sense! and we’re absolutely not being had by a man who used to be able to write this show and is now a hack!

#FUCK OFF RUSSELL #write a good show or go home christ alive #it’s just nostalgia glasses. we could get an episode where all 10 does is sit in a daybed and list the symptoms of shingles #and a lot of people on this website would be falling over themselves to try say that yeah it’s not good! it’s not well written! but it’s fun #and obviously that’s all doctor who needs to be. fun! not good or interesting or well written or good scifi but fun. just mediocre mush fun.#im sorry that you love dave 10nant so much (name censor bc tbf this ain’t his fault he’s just here)#that you cannot handle admitting that RTD is bad at his job now or that bringing 10 back as 14 was a shit idea #and that plotline was boring and kinda dumb #but it’s true. it’s gone downhill. RTD does not know what this show is anymore #and I frankly think he’s gone from a fanboy being able to write his dw dreams and make them episodes #from a man who views this show as his little pet project that sprung him into success #the best episodes are written by people who love this show. adore it. think of it as something big and grand #and are so thrilled that they get to add part of themselves to it with their stories and words #it’s why he used to be good. and now he doesn’t really care anymore and it shows.#it’s why my favourite doctor is my favourite doctor (and probably why people adore 9 + 10)#because you can feel the love exuding from every performance. it’s a childhood dream. there’s not time to waste a second of it.#sorry but this season was bad and the overarching story was bad #and the Christmas special is going to be bad. because it hinges on the idea we’re going to ‘find out more next time!’#shut up and tell me now. or at least in the season. ‘ooh ruby’s snow power will be explained next season’ NO! EXPLAIN IT NOW #doctor who #dw #dw negativity #rtd2 era #rtd2 #rtd

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sysig · 6 months

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One better (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Blood #I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0 #Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread #Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers #Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha #The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax!#Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!!#It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!!#Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u;#Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to -#Until it comes to his eye #Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/#It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh #For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear #It's so sad ;; And so well done <3 #And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl #Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :')#Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it #Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone?#''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really #Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔#That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :)#I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol)#I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers!#Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally #Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose

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lesbiansanemi · 4 months

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New low. Sobbing in the floor of a dark empty apartment

#well. he’s gone.#it’s definitely relieving in a lot of ways #but….#my apartment is empty #when I moved to this city I had two of my best friends here with me #now I have no one #I will probably never talk to either one of them again #I lived with him for five years. we made our college plans together #and now my apartment is empty and I’m all alone and there’s no one to hear me cry #I feel so pathetic and miserable #and empty but overwhelmed all at once #I almost wish it was all my fault you know #cuz then at least I could pinpoint it I could figure it out #like oh… I’m a shitty person and I treated my friends badly and that’s why I lose them #but I’ve been the one who’s been used and tossed aside and discarded #and I’m alone in a dark empty apartment crying #and I know my old roommate and my old best friend don’t care #they’re both happy and having a good time and have not thought twice about me #and yeah. I feel pathetic #that even after everything I’m wasting grief on this #growing up my family always told me friends never amounted to anything #you had your family and your significant others and that was it you didn’t put everything you had into your friends #and I always thought that was stupid #and I loved my friends so much and I feel like I gave them so much I gave so many of them everything I had #and all I get is being alone and crying in an empty apartment #maybe my family was right I’m so tired of this I’m so so so tired #kaz rambles

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 4 months

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they call me the griever because halfway through a thing I enjoy I’m already sad that it’s closer to being over

#blue chatter #trying to work on not doing this #and just enjoying the thing in the moment #this happens to me a lot with school breaks and such #like ‘oh I love being on spring break but I’m sad bc I’m already 3 days in’#‘oh I love summer vacation so far it’s too bad it’s already a month over’#and I’m like NO!!!!! blue!!!!!!!! you’re missing the point!!!!!!!!#you have the joy *right now* and you are SPOILING IT bc you’re too busy looking ahead to when it will be gone!!!!!!!!!#it happens with friend visits a lot. it’s less bad now but it still happens.#like. the first time I visited friends over spring break I woke up in the early morning of the last morning and just cried #because I only had a few hours left before I had to get on the plane home #and I start hurriedly stuffing seconds and minutes into my mouth and refusing to swallow #because maybe if I just cling extra hard then the time won’t pass-#but it does pass. and that’s okay. and I know that’s okay because life had more joyful things after that moment #had I stayed there on that day I would have been frozen as a much more miserable person #my friends themselves would have been very different people #I mean. fuck. between then and now two of us figured out our genders. both of them got married. they moved somewhere else now.#there’s a lot of little joys that got left behind there. a church they loved. a local park. mountains and windy streets.#but I wouldn’t hold ourselves there. which I try to remind myself when I start crying about lost time again #because yeah. this will end someday. human lifespans aren’t infinite.#but the future is full of life I still have to live. there’s no saying that I can’t have good things again.#and this period of my life is rapidly rushing towards a much more uncertain future and I know that and it’s scary #I know I have about 11 months to make several very adult decisions that will determine a lot of my future #but no matter what I choose this period of my life is not wasted #and I don’t need to hurriedly optimize every second and mourn losing them #and I know that. and I still feel sad and mourny. but that might be more indicative that I’m hungry or smth.

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j-esbian · 3 months

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thinking abt how much of my life i’ve lost to depression and i truly want to throw up

#day to day doesn’t feel like much but. oh no it’s been like fully a decade #i wish therapy wasn’t so expensive #bc for a while i was on meds (that. didn’t do much tbh.) but that made me feel like i was Treating It so i was making progress #spoiler alert it did not. and now the fact that i’ve wasted so much of my life is making it worse #bc everyone else i know has like. lives and people in them #and i pretty much just have my parents. and my mom is also going through it #i have relied SO much on them and that also feels bad!!! feels like i’ve taken advantage of them!!!!!#i know people talk about how much it messes w your memory but i figured it was short term bc the days all blend together #i literally had a moment yesterday where i forgot i went to college at all #the whole thing feels like a missed opportunity bc i didn’t do anything i wanted to really #i was too afraid to go to clubs that looked interesting. i didn’t think practically abt what i was studying #i mostly didn’t have roommates but when i did i was Bad At It #i managed to go through the whole time only speaking to like. three people #so you can see how it’s kind of. completely forgettable #i have worked jobs bc it’s a paycheck. never really enjoyed them never really made friends (even tho now i’m kicking myself for not keeping #in touch with some people) but i have always kept a very strong work/life division even in school #because i was there to do a Specific Thing so that’s all that matters yknow #anyway. sometimes i DO wish i could go back to high school bc even tho it sucked. it was structured #and i had resources and more time to try things and like. a life outside of my computer. a little bit #yknow. i feel like people have more sympathy if you’re anxious abt everything and never gone outside #when you’re 16 as opposed to 25

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the-pea-and-the-sun · 20 days

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having to budget for food an b careful w food an not having a lot of space to put my food can b pretty annoying but when my roomates are throwing away 3/4 of their groceries that i cannot touch it makes me feel like im going insane

#at least throw away the food ur gonna throw away in a timely manner so i dont have to watch it decompose on the counter for five days #i would jus throw it away for them but like. ive seen my roomate reheat pizza that had been on the counter for literally like 12 hours #so i dont wanna piss them off by accident sfjgsdlfkg #i would ask if theyre making too much when their cooking or whatever #but i have had zero pleasant interactions w these people. an being the fat person in a house full of skinny ppl i just dont feel comfortabl #asking that #so it just. goes to waste #my lease ends in fuckin MAY #incredibly jealous of my friend who has roomates who keep a clean kitchen an give her a designated shelf an spot in the fridge #an take a day out of each week for everyone to cook an eat together like. y couldnt i have had that. cmon man #i would LOVE to cook for them too but they jus . have not been approachable. if theyre even here when im cooking #most of them jus show up fuck up the kitchen leave a perfectly good meal sitting out and then dont show up again until ive gone to bed

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tardis--dreams · 1 month

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I actually realized i hate work. Won't be putting any effort into this anymore ♡

#sure whatever #it's funny because when i applied there i really really wanted this job #and it had nothing to do with that one person i got a little overly attached to #and when i started working there it was fine but i think really the only reason i liked it was because of that colleague #and now he's gone there's only annoying things left #also maybe i got too cuddled by him because he's always had my back until now #but i have to try to get things from the design team now and they just straight up ignore me lmao #like. my colleague asked me last week if i could ask them to edit some images which i did and they ignored me for 2 days #then HE sent them a follow up message and surprise surprise the images were there within 30 minutes #now again. he asked me to request some images and then built them into the journal #i request them. i hear nothing back. i send a follow up saying it's kinda important. i get nothing #oh well sorry man. guess you'll have to do that yourself after all (:#(i think it's really nice he's trying to give me so much more responsibility and all but if he's not there to back me up #it's literally not working because Everyone Is Ignoring Me :)))#also two weeks from now I'll be alone in our office because my other colleague who's in the same office as us #has announced she's gonna go share the office with someone else because she's gonna be alone otherwise #lol thanks #also some other shit someone posted in the group chat today which really pissed me off #AND the fact i got ignored AGAIN when i asked for work :) like bitches. i literally just watched netflix on my private laptop #while wiggling the mouse on my work laptop until i got off lmao #i won't go to the office tomorrow either #i was gonna go but i can't do shit there if i get ignored again #at least at home i can do whatever i want when they decide i should just get money for wasting my time ♡#i might actually just not work tomorrow #I'll probably log in just to see if there's any updates on the images situation but if not I'll fuck right off #fun times #(also maybe just maybe I'm generally a little negative these days. that may play into it. I'm sensing that sweet summertime blues ♡#((who cares if it's because of my father's death or because of my colleague's going away or because of general existential despair due to #university.... i'm just annoyed) )#void screams

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ubike-official · 1 month

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date back on for sunday now. His friend is okay. thank god. And uhhh, yea now we're finally be fr about the "hey we met on a dating, lets be so fr about what our experience has been" uncharted territory besties. we're not at "so what are you looking for?" but i already essentially told him my approach is to just really try getting to know ppl i find interesting and letting a spark develop from there w/o pressure. kinda like in school where you consistently see people in casual settings. and he thought it was a good plan so uh. here we are.

#basically he's had no luck and only like 2 matches (excluding me i believe) and all those people just never responded to him #which must be so funny bc now theres like. me. where i have seen his id. know his govt name. address. dob. and vitals. like. crazy.#and he's seen mine too ofc. equality. and uh. sounds like he's never dated. never had any bug feelings for anyone despite wanting to fall i #love so bad. which is... interesting. i feel like he has liked ppl and not recognized that it's a crush. nit just wanting to be friends but #imma hold off on sharing that until further developments.#i basically told him that I've had a very different experience. not to like brag but like most women will have better luck on apps (also hi #profile kinda sucks. all 4 photos look like a different person. his like actual answers to prompts aren't bad. they're good. thats what mad #me think 'oh i think i could rlly get along w/ this dude' but he'd attract a very niche type of woman)#which i also. didn't fully say. bc time and place. it'll come up but not right now. but yea so i told him that like. ive gotten many matche #but a lotttt of it is super low quality. lot of wasted time. so like. yea. we all have a bad time on dating apps till someone sticks and we #dont. we basically have both admitted to having idealized people in the past and getting the ick irl. and yea. building some good common #ground. ive always wanted to ask to ppl ive gone out w/ what their experience looks like but i feel like thats not smth to talk abt till #later on and I've never wanted anything past a 2nd date before so. yea.#although my first date did tell me but she was poly and like much more open to talking abt that than most monogamous ppl would be

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meowmeowmessi · 1 year

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messistas can try to give this a positive spin as much as they want but this is the fumble of the century the kind of disastrous decision making skills at club level that i was talking abt there's no coming back from this

#remember that wasted potential comment. yeah that. he's exhibiting those tendencies again bc time is a flat circle #he fumbled the b'dor too i'm going to have to watch pep present messi's 8th to haalarse the sport is gone im going to die #he should've just retired after the wc bc what the hell is this. like there's no way he's staying fit in the mls #literally a bottom tier league that makes players like riqui puig look like maradona. it's less football and more business #like yeah sure he doesn't owe us fans anything etc etc but HE'S STILL THE BEST ITW LITERALLY GOING TOE TO TOE WITH THE BABY GOATS RN???#most dribbles in the top 5 leagues after vinicius most assists right after kdb i think and so much more #and he's taking all that to eagle land so some fat floridian can watch messi caviar ball????? WHAT #messi look me in the eye this isn't you #pep said without pressure messi gets bored oh it's so so joever he's actually finished he's packed it up #i'm going to need 50 business days to process this

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thethingything · 6 months

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I'm fatigued, my back hurts, I accidentally spent like 3 hours sat downstairs in a chair that made our back feel worse because our executive dysfunction prevented me getting up and going back upstairs even though I only went down there to get one thing, and now I really need to lay down but if I accidentally fall asleep again I feel like I'll wake up, realise I fell asleep and also that I feel like I wasted a big chunk of the day, and I'll end up feeling even worse again

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #posts made on pain meds #I went downstairs to get food but ended up having to wait longer than anticipated which is whatever #but then that meant I ended up sitting down and once we sit down it's like our brain stops being able to process that we can leave #I'll sit there the whole time going ''I need to get up and go back upstairs. I don't want to be sat here'' and just can't get up #I hate that this happens because while I know our executive dysfunction isn't our fault #and it's the exact same issue that stops us eating or drinking or going to the toilet or whatever when we need to #I still feel like I should be able to just get up and do the thing and just leave if I'm in a situation that I don't want to be in #and it's so hard to get other people to understand that I can't ''just leave'' because my brain just won't let that happen #like I want to but my brain won't register it as an actual thing I can do and it feels more like a weird abstract concept #than a thing I could actually do. it's like my brain can't connect the concept of the action to the act of doing it #and then I get frustrated because why can't I just do the thing that I know I should be able to do #and then I've spent hours not doing anything I meant to and mostly just feel like shit because of it and it keeps happening #and now I need to lay down and I know what's likely to happen if I do that #but I do need to listen to my body especially after getting stuck in a situation that makes our pain and fatigue worse #also we had to take pain meds earlier and that's definitely not helping with us feeling shit emotionally about all this #I hate having to navigate our brain and body just not functioning properly #I feel like we've had so little energy lately and it's reminding me too much of this time last year when we had that blood infection #I'm terrified of that happening again because we almost didn't get treatment because we started to assume it was just our new baseline #hmm apparently within like 5 minutes we've gone from ''ugh I wasted 3 hours'' to almost crying over medical trauma #I probably need to try and do something to calm us down but also I'm too tired to really do anything #which brings me right back to the issue that triggered this whole rant and me getting upset in the first place

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graciebrams · 1 year

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#life is so weird right now literally nothing is exciting i wanna do all my favourite things but i dont have the energy and i just #don't see the point in anything #everything is stupid boring meaningless and it really really hurts bec im constantly feeling like im running out of time and wasting my 20s #like not even as a joke #like i know if I don't do things now I'll regret later in ny life but i just can't find the energy to do it even if i want to do it soo bad #and the fact??? that almost the entire year is ??? fucking gone?????? just like that?#its really depressing #i had so much planned for this year and so far i have just wasted it completely #im gonna throw up #im so sorry if anyone saw this #i just needed to vent

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