#but do i experience anxiety due to having to work with people i don’t trust? ABSOLUTELY.

[starbuck]

i don’t hold grudges, but i only let people break my trust once and not trusting someone is a relatively similar phenomenon.

[jesswritesthat]

love your writing!! can i request a kuroo x an introverted reader? so they would be very similar to kenma in that, how would kuroo handle two so different personalities to his? thank you so muchh

Thank you!! Also I appreciate the request too - I shall do my best with these, hope you like.

>>>>——————————>

Kuroo Tetsurō with an Introvert Headcanons:

• Kuroo is generally good with a range of people anyway, and growing up with Kenma meant he has an in-depth understanding of introverts.

• So when you come along he’s naturally his friendly self even if you practically run away. He’s left standing there with his hand up to call out to you and a surprised look soon turning into an embarrassed smile.

• With time though, and patience he manages to get conversations going with you around school and isn’t upset he had to initiate them since he wants to get to know you and all.

• Kuroo is practically beaming when you start one with him though, he has to resist the urge to tease you about it, but remains really happy.

• Yourself and Kenma seem to have this telepathic understanding however, conversing with looks or hums of acknowledgement to the point Nekoma are sorta baffled.

“What— what was that?”

“They’re going to grab drinks from the vending machine, they’ll be back shortly.” The captain answers nonchalantly despite everyone being mildly confused with yours and Kenmas’ joint disappearance.

“They didn’t even say anything!”

“They did, you weren’t paying attention - get back to received.” Yeah, Kuroo has learned the language through observation.

• Tetsurō is likely very honoured when you become close enough to see him as a trusted person and will try and build that by making your life a little easier where he can.

• Tired of people? No worries, let’s evacuate. Anxiety? Gotcha covered. Bored or feeling off? Teasing until you smile - even if slightly annoying, he lives for it.

• Like Kenma, he will drag you two along if the situations calls for it. The two of sighing painfully in each of Kuroos’ hands whilst he’d taking you god knows where.

“Tetsurōōō.”

“Don’t Tetsurō me, neither of you can skip this.”

“Ugh.”

• Secretly, you’re self and Kenma will admit you’re grateful for the scheming bedhead, despite rarely telling him that (if ever) but you think you give it away more with the soft smiles you give him. The ones that melt him a little inside.

• Loves that his friends get along, and feels comforted knowing Kenma and you have got someone similar to talk to. He might miss out on spending time with you because of this sometimes, but despite his playful whining about it he encourages you to step out of your comfort zone.

• However he also respects The Comfort Zone™. If you’re not feeling up to anything, he’ll gladly compromise to suit your needs - and is of course appreciative if you do the same for him.

“Alright, how about a movie day instead?”

“But… you wanted to go to the museum…”

“It should still be standing next week, we’ll aim for an off-peak time if that helps.” He offers you a proud smirk, one that tells you he’s at ease with this.

“Thanks Tetsurō. Please pick the first film then, and I’ll get some snacks.”

• It’s not perfect of course, he can be a little persistent with his sense of adventure and even though it’s in good faith of wanting to take you to new places and experience things with you - it can be overwhelming. But after discussing your feelings you’re both able to reach understandings on these matters.

• Overall Kuroo can be introverted himself at times, and understands what you experience due to putting in the time to get to know you and Kenma. If there is anything amiss he’ll want to work through it, it’s just very healthy and comforting. A safe space~

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

[formyloveoflove]

Carmen Berzatto and the Very, Very Bad Work Environment

There is enough space to empathize with Carmen and hold him accountable for his actions. He’s trying very hard to change, but that doesn’t mean he’s not hurting people in the process.

“Hurt people hurt people,” isn’t that how the phrase goes? I don’t think he’s a monster. I do think because of his trauma, he’s tunnel-visioned on the worst parts of himself. And in doing so, he’s isolating himself.

It’s not the “If it’s not perfect, it doesn’t go out.” It’s the condescending tone, the dramatic performance of slamming it in the trash. It’s the anger that’s associated with it. You can still have this ideology without being mean or hurtful about it.

Carmen is stuck in “I’m going to smoke this motherfucker” mode. He views everyone in his staff as competition, and has a tendency to discredit or diminish their capabilities. He demands perfection on a BOH staff of three (?) that only has 1/3 of fine dining experience who have to produce a new menu every day for a failing restaurant. That’s all these different stressors coming into play. That’s

a new arena and standard for Tina, Richie, Marcus, Gary, etc.

with menu changes every day, there’s no comfort to fall into. There’s no rhythm. There’s no way to prepare.

they’re understaffed, so there’s no one coming to save you. sometimes, your calls for “hands” go unanswered. You have to juggle two, three, four things that you just learned to cook. Something’s going to get fucked up, and sent back. And Carmen’s going to yell at you about it. Also, if you want to take a mental health day, it could jeopardizes everything

in the midst of all of this, Richie and Carmen are screaming everyday. They have at least one physical altercation. If you don’t think constantly hearing two people argue all the time is damaging, then ask anybody who grew up in a dysfunctional household. Me, for example.

then the bitter realization that doing all of this is not making them money. My good man Ebra is though (and thank god he got some help bc he was threading water, too)

The Bear is a hostile work environment. Full stop. There’s constant aggression and ridiculing. Once, I worked in a hostile work environment for six months, and it caused me panic attacks, nightmares, and extreme bouts of depression. I cried coming to and from work because i wanted to leave, but I loved the kids that i worked with and i had no other options available. In those situations, “You’re trapped,” no pun intended (well, maybe a little pun intended).

And the consequences of a hostile work environment:

higher rates of stress, anxiety, burnout, depression, and other mental health issues in employees

decreased productivity

high turnover rates - we’re both told about this about the BOH staff and shown the FOH staff. Try counting how many of the wait staff stay in between debriefings

erosion of trust and morale

The course that Carmy’s set sail for is leading him straight to disaster.

There’s a reason we’re shown Carmen’s experience in other successful and starred kitchens that have welcoming environments. There’s a reason why we see Chef Terry shutdown Carmen’s aggression towards Luca. There’s a reason why we get “I think about you too much” and “I don’t think about you at all.” There’s a reason why we get “This place could be different than any other places we’ve been at.”

Now, I don’t think comparing the consequences of Carmy’s actions on those around him to those of Donna’s or NYC Head Chef’s on him is right. Everything happens on a spectrum, and I’m just not for creating hierarchies for people’s hurt in real life, so I try not to do in fictional cases either.

Carmen’s trying to work through some shit, so I’ll give credit where credit is due. I’ll give gold stars to anyone out there, trying to unlearn some negative habits and make themselves better. I’m doing it now, and that shits hard. However, I won’t be giving Carmen a cookie because he didn’t tell his staff to kill themselves like his old boss.

Carmen has to “change the chemistry.” He has to acknowledge that he, himself, is capable of change. And it can’t be because Syd said so. It would be hard for him, but I would love for him to look around and see what he’s done to his own staff and change. Not just want to change but actually change. With his double-guessing to both Syd and Ebra, it might not take him long to get there.

Mikey’s gone. His old chef doesn’t care.

There’s no one else to spite. Carmen has so much anger, resentment, and fear, but he, also, has his moments of happiness and laughter and courage. He, also, has so much love to give.

It’s very hard seeing a character that you love and can relate to become cold and distant and mean to other characters that you love and relate to. But we got another season, so I want to stick around for it.

[therentyoupay]

Hellooo! Sending this ask purely because I need someone to kick my butt into writing gear :'D but how do you manage writing without getting bogged down with self-doubt? My brain has the tendency to cripple my creativity and then I convince myself that the writing is trash. Even though no one but me is reading it at the moment.

HELLO LOVELY! ✨ i'm so sorry it's been so long since you sent this ask; i've been bogged down with academia but i promise i have been pondering your ask for these past three months now!!

honestly, this semester i'm relying on a lot of similar strategies for overcoming self-doubt in my dissertation writing process right now that i used to experience with my fanfiction (and still occasionally do, but it was a lot more prevalent in my teenage years and early 20s). regardless of the genre and context, i totally get how self-doubt can sneak in and mess with your writing and creativity and the enjoyment of the process. here are some things i do, which i'm sure lots of people have shared before, but it probably bears repeating!!

re: "trash": first of all, even trash is good. trash is SOMETHING. trash means creation and some form of use. seriously, even if you hate what you write at first, IT IS SOMETHING. remember it is generally easier to edit (even if you delete it all later) something than to create from scratch, especially if a long time has passed and you've built up the task in your head. i say let yourself write without judgment for a set period (like 10-15 minutes). don’t worry about grammar, structure, or quality. just get out your thoughts in whatever stream of consciousness makes sense to you and bypass your inner critic. this is a skill that needs to be developed and honed through practice. second, if you're bad at bypassing the inner critic at first, name it and tell it to shut up ("be quiet, reginald"), and carry on. repeat until it's actually easy, and then reginald doesn't even talk that much anymore.

separate writing and editing: on that note, write first, edit later. trying to do both at the same time can kill creativity. write freely, knowing you can refine and improve your work later. on that that note, you can always take a break from writing one thing to go write another thing and then come back to it when your head is more clear and your eyes have freshened!

set small goals: break your writing task into smaller, manageable goals. i like to set word count goals OR "write for X minutes" OR "write Y scene(s)" goals. i do this with both my dissertation and my fanfiction and my non-fic book writing, depending on the day, the deadlines, and the vibes. remember that small wins can build momentum and confidence. another thing i like to do to loosen up and get back into the swing of things via small-goal-setting is to post baby drabbles and micro-fic on tumblr!

positive self-talk: watch your inner dialogue. swap negative thoughts ("this is terrible/trash/whatever") with positive ones ("this is a draft, and it’ll get better with revision"). this is a skill!!!! practice it!!!! related: your writing may be a reflection of you in many ways, but it is not you; writing garbage on an off day does not mean that you are garbage or that your writing is always garbage. separate the skills, performance/product, and person. (and remember: garbage is still something, and you can edit it later.)

create a routine, if you can: this one doesn't quite always work for me, to be honest, due to the nature of my workday, BUT, when I'm able to do things consistently, i do like to set up a regular writing routine! consistency can help reduce anxiety and make writing feel like a natural part of your day. when i was in grad school (the first time) and working i used to write while on my commute, every day, on my phone; those of you who were with me in 2015 remember the prolific sorcery of that year. 😂

seek feedback: share your work with a trusted friend, beta reader, fellow writer, etc. sometimes you don't want to unleash your writing to the full internet right away, and that's totally fine and normal, but you still want constructive feedback. find a friend who will beta!!! they can reassure you and point out areas you might not have noticed. (and receiving and incorporating feedback is its own skill worthy of its own post, but i shall leave it for now!!)

CELEBRATE progress: i'm so serious, recognize and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. enjoy each kudos!!! each like!! each posted fic! each drabble!! each reblog!!! each bookmark!!!! reward yourself for reaching milestones (1 kudos, 10 kudos, 10,000 kudos, 1 comment, 200 comments, 1 hit, 5 hits, 500 hits, 1 story posted, 12 stories posted) to reinforce positive behavior. 😉 basic applied behavioral analysis and behaviorist psych!! (remember: positive self-talk, setting small goals)

visualize success: i do this one all the time for basically everything in my life lol (teaching, public speaking, finishing my dissertation, book tours for my non-fic books, winning awards, finishing fics). close your eyes, and picture yourself finishing your writing project successfully. how does it feel? what do you see? who is there? how does it smell? what are you wearing? where are you? what do you hear? visualization can boost motivation and reduce fear of failure and can give you all sorts of goody feel-good chemicals. your brain literally can't tell what's real or not real sometimes, so give it something tangible to make the task feel like it's literally in your reach (because it is 😉). this is, interestingly enough, also an incredible boost for writing itself, haha.

clean something first: maybe this is just me, but clean your desk beforehand. 😂 or go to a café or something. new fresh space. but don't let yourself get distracted by that either!!

read for inspiration: read works by authors you admire to get inspired and remind yourself why you love writing. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

WRITE. WRITE WRITE WRITE. WRITE LIKE THE WIND MY LOVE.

[november-rising]

The Bear: Season Two, Episode Nine - Omelette

This not-fully-plotted-or-planned post is the fruit of a conversation between myself and @unladyboss (including their observations of Carmy). We were supposed to rewatch THE SCENE from that episode to share our interpretations.

But I tend to do too much which means I watched the whole episode.

It’s been months since I’ve seen Omelette. I certainly remember the significant moments. But, seeing the whole story, allowed me to gain more appreciation for this episode and the show in total.

The driving force – the theme of this episode was focus and unfocus. The writers beat us over the head with the amount of times the word ‘focus’ was said. Yes, I knew this was a crucial arc of the season but watching this play out was fascinating.

We, the audience, are not just told about focus but are also shown how the characters have become streamlined, honing their skills and talents - becoming focused.

In no particular order:

Ebra working on his Serve Safe Certification during prep.

Tina leading the other chefs with precision.

Natalie reviewing the upcoming weeks to keep revenue coming.

Richie commanding the pre-dinner staffing.

Gary and Fak stepping up to be the informants of customer experience/enjoyment.

Marcus using his creativity to craft new desserts.

Uncle Cicero supporting Carmen in those moments leading up to the soft open.

Sydney utilizing her voice to demand respect and to be vulnerable.

Carmen realizing that there is something so important in his life.

Each character was finding purpose, embracing it, and owning their worth. To me, they felt solid and assured. That is everyone except Carmy whose focus wavered throughout.

And that is his greatest fear. Consistency…calm – a focus of his own choosing.

He knows chaos. That’s what his brain and body have become accustomed to due to years and years of childhood abuse and the verbal abuse of that one NYC Chef. Frenzy, hecticness, hypervigilance, planning ten steps ahead, anxiety, disappointment, shame, guilt, anger…so much anger…

These are emotions and “coping skills” that Carmy has depended on his whole life. He tries to mask them, burying or transforming them into his culinary expertise. But here, at The Bear – back home, Carmen is faced with too much stability. He doesn’t know what to do with it.

The expectations that have been placed upon him (internally and externally) are a lot, sure. But he seems to roll with those punches. And he has managed to trust in those around him. That is overwhelming. Things are going fairly well in his life. That is overwhelming. He's dating and taking some semblance of control of his life. That's overwhelming. His vision for the restaurant he wanted to start with his brother is coming true. That’s overwhelming. He has a trusted person standing side-by-side with him in the BOH. That’s overwhelming.

Though Mikey is the catalyst to opening a new restaurant, it’s all the people who are here now that have made it work.

I don’t think Carmy can manage that knowledge. He’s so okay with being alone and driven and self-harming himself in the sense of constant work, lack of self-care, not eating properly, pushing passed exhaustion – you get the picture. He’s not okay in knowing that there are people who genuinely care about him and his dreams; and they have stayed.

People stay.

Sydney stayed.

I believe that’s why he thought of her during his panic attack. Being near her allowed the conversation about Sydney’s mom to happen. He can focus when she’s around. That’s why, when Syd corrected Nat that the fridge guy’s name was Tony, Carmy was in perfect sync. When watching that moment, I thought: “Jinx! You owe her soda!” LOL!

Then there’s the table scene which was utterly glorious. It highlighted his vulnerability concerning his fear dating Claire who was “great”. Carmen doesn't believe he deserves greatness. It's not for him. It's for everyone else.

Under that dang table, he showed his hesitations all the while noticing Sydney. He values her. He made sure she knew.  Towards the end of that scene, the way he looks at her before turning away to go get THE gift, was wow. To me, it seemed like a lightbulb clicked in his heart and soul.

Sydney matters so much to him. He doesn’t want to fuck up for her. But he knows he will. He always does.

[fxirybun]

Hi, can you do my DR S/O’s green and red flags?

Initials/Nickname: G.V./ Bie

Big 3: Sun sign is Leo (If you believe in cusps then I’m a Cancer/Leo cusper for specifics), Gemini Moon, and Scorpio Rising.

My most used emoji(s) is/are: ❤️ and 🤣

DR S/O’s Name: Jeon Jungkook

The reality my S/O is in: My WR

I hope this helps you and isn’t too complicated or weird, thank you!

hello bie ! and no it's not too complicated or weird at all lmao xp thank you for sending me your ask <3

ෆ⸒⸒ his ten (10) green flags

𐙚 his natural talent feels boundless , allowing him to constantly experiment with new styles. his working habit gives off authenticity , showing how deeply connected he is to his craft.

𐙚 even when unexpected challenges arise , jungkook remains to keep afloat. he is very versatile and adjusts quickly to new environments , demonstrating that he can thrive under pressure.

𐙚 you may often see him caring for the people around him through means of offering advice , listening attentively , or simply being there for someone.

𐙚 jungkook tends to be practical in his approaches. he knows when to set big goals and has a clear plan for himself. in addition , he also takes practical steps to achieve them.

𐙚 one of his most prominent traits is his consistency. jungkook has shown time and again that people can count on him. his reliable nature ensures that he’s someone others trust to follow through and maintain his composure in difficult times.

𐙚 even though he has faced pressures on his side , Jungkook has proven his resilience. he can overcome obstacles and hardships without losing sight of who he is. when things don’t go as planned , he learns from the experience and bounces back stronger than before.

𐙚 he is the kind of guy who remains humble at all times. he doesn’t allow his achievements to inflate his ego , and he continues to show gratitude for the people who have put their faith in him.

𐙚 jungkook's dedication to his work is evident in everything he does. he has this natural drive to improve himself , often going above and beyond to perfect his abilities.

𐙚 this man has a compassionate heart , often putting others’ needs before his own. his kindness feels genuine and how he shows empathy toward those around him is evident in his actions.

𐙚 jungkook knows how to chase his dreams without letting his ambitions overshadow his personal life or relationships. he has a healthy balance between striving for success and appreciating the things he currently has at the moment.

ෆ⸒⸒ his ten (10) red flags

𐙚 jungkook may have struggled with or is prone to certain self-limiting patterns or behaviors. even though he works hard to free himself from these , it could be a red flag if he occasionally slips back into negative thought cycles or unhealthy habits.

𐙚 he might sometimes find himself lost or overwhelmed due to receiving too many choices. he might be overly idealistic , chasing dreams that aren’t grounded in reality , leading him to feel frustrated.

𐙚 jungkook may place too much emphasis on close relationships , a need for constant validation from others. he could struggle with boundaries , putting his emotional well-being in the hands of those he cares about.

𐙚 he sometimes is hesitant to fully embrace something out of fear of failure or judgment. this cautious approach could hold him back from exploring new avenues or fully living in the moment.

𐙚 his dedication to his career can be so intense that it tips into imbalance. jungkook finds it difficult to switch off or relax , focusing too much on his work or public image at the expense of his personal time.

𐙚 jungkook could sometimes overanalyze situations that are right in front of him. this action can lead to anxiety , causing him to second-guess himself or hesitate to take action when quick decisions are needed.

𐙚 his desire to do well and to please others could make him vulnerable to emotional ups and downs , especially when facing criticism or negativity from the outside world. l

𐙚 he may as well have trouble expressing his own negative emotions too. jungkook prefers to keep these feelings to himself rather than confront difficult situations , which could lead to bottled-up emotions.

𐙚 his high standards for himself and others could sometimes turn into a worst-case scenario. it may cause him to be overly critical of himself or those around him.

𐙚 despite being emotionally in touch with others , jungkook might find it difficult to fully open up about his own deeper feelings , fears , or even his insecurities.

fxiry : i hope this helps ! feedback is required ^^

[pjsandapony]

This is a true story, maybe it could help someone somewhere..

There are a few people involved in my story who are still on their own paths of healing, and we are all connected in different ways so parts of the story are intentionally vague. I don’t know how one goes about telling stories that involve others, but I’m going to do my best to be respectful.

My husband and I had three children very close together, each two years apart from 2012 to 2016. We were loving being parents and had experienced no major hiccups aside from some job changes during those four years. But the year of 2017 just after our third baby was born, just ended up being a full breakdown for us on so many levels, work betrayals and relational betrayals and pain upon pain. Almost month over month it felt like a crisis was happening. That spring, when our third baby was just a few months old, I started having hallucinations triggered by a couple different things. A combination of the MTHFR gene mutation and a UTI. I was exhausted and struggling to take care of myself as well as I needed to. After three babies back-to-back and nursing all of them, my body was really depleted nutritionally and I didn’t know the depth of it. It ended up that I became fully convinced I was dying and got to a point where I was terrified to go to sleep at night and so mostly stopped sleeping except for a few hours during the day when I could hear the reassuring sounds of people and movement. I had severe postpartum anxiety and didn’t know that either until later. I was completely manic and hearing and seeing things that weren’t there. It took a full year to eventually begin to trust my senses again, just out of fear, although the hallucinations stopped as soon as I got on the right supplement regimen.

Fast forward about 4 years, our third child was now 5 and life was beginning to feel smooth. We were renting a quiet house in the country, and enjoying all of the phases of a growing family.

In this house, we also had a precious relative living with us. There were some struggles that this person was having that my husband and I weren’t sure how to handle. One night, after one particularly challenging round of conversations, I got into bed and pulled the sheets up over my head. My husband was sitting in the corner working on his computer. Then I audibly heard a man’s voice ask “are you ok?” I pulled the sheets down and asked him if he had just asked me that. My husband said no, he hadn’t said anything at all. Internally I answered the voice back and said “yes I’m just tired” and then asked in my mind, “who spoke to me?”

Several nights later it was storming quite loudly outside and, as my oldest son was never fond of heavy storms, had come into our room to sleep. All of the sudden he popped his head up and said “did you say something?” I said “no I didn’t, what did you hear?” He said, “someone said, ‘the Son.’” He was so frightened and shaking and climbed into our bed for the rest of the night.

A week or two later I asked him some questions. I asked him if the voice sounded friendly or scary and he said friendly. And I asked him if it was a male or female voice. He said male. It became clear to me that the Father answered my question through our son, because He knew I would not trust my own experience, due to the health situation we went through years before. He knew I would question if I was hallucinating again.

In mercy, He confirmed the care of His Son through another person, my own son. I say all of this to encourage you, towards belief that God cares about your inner world and your responses to the events of your life.

[destinygoldenstar]

I wanted to talk about Duncan’s clinginess and why it is so important to his character.

(Well, there’s a lot to Duncan’s character, hence why I think he’s the most complicated character in the entire show, but you know what I mean.)

We all know already that Duncan is a horn dog when it comes to his love interests. This can easily be said with both Gwen and Courtney. While the relationships are different, Duncan’s treatment of them is relatively the same: He’s the one expecting the affection and he amplifies their bad traits to mold them into his bad persona.

It’s important that he wants people to see his persona and not Duncan himself, as he bails on the notion of deserving love whenever he’s doing something good.

The most good we ultimately see him do for these girls is let them touch him or when he does the carvings when he thinks of them, like the skull for Courtney in Island and carving Gwen’s face on the plane seat in World Tour. Even after everything between them in All Stars Duncan still offers himself to be allies with both of them to get their attention, something that he is denied and amplifies his desire to be bad once more and leads to the burning building.

But there’s more to the puzzle than just being horny for girls. This can apply to his other platonic relationships as well, or even past romantic interests.

Lines that come to mind are in the Island special when he says:

“I’ve had tougher girlfriends than him. And uglier.”

Did Duncan have past failed relationships even before Courtney? It’s likely they all failed in the same way, he cares more about his persona and just wants to receive love not knowing how to give it. It would definitely explain his attitude towards the women in his life.

Or another factor could be with his parents, as the father says:

“Come to think of it, do we love you?”

Which definitely would have a dent on a kid and we don’t know if he says stuff like this often or not.

The mom, the female, comes to Duncan’s defense and openly expresses that she loves her kid.

It’s far more likely for kids to cling to familiar love than try their luck in changing hate.

It could also be said to who they need to be to get that love.

So while Duncan doesn’t trust the people around him, he clings to people willing to show him love, even if it is manipulation. This explains Heather’s factor in his Island elimination. Talkspace discusses clinginess on the following quote:

“Often, it can be due to feelings of insecurity, self-doubt or anxiety about the future,” she said. “A lack of confidence in relationships can also contribute to clinginess. For some people, the idea of being alone can be uncomfortable and so they may cling to other individuals in an effort to avoid feelings of loneliness.”

I will link it here:

Talkspace

So how does this apply to Duncan? Well his persona insecurity is one of his biggest downfalls, and whenever the person he’s with doesn’t appeal to his insecurity, then he moves onto another person even if he can still get affection out of the old one. It could also explain why he’s escaping Juvie in the audition tape. We don’t really get canon discussions of Duncan’s experience in Juvie, specifically his feelings towards it, but maybe that’s intentional and he doesn’t WANT to talk about it. Especially with crippling loneliness that comes from a harsh environment. This could be a factor as well.

So when he turns to someone willing to hang out with him as a friend or a lover, he clings to them to avoid feeling alone. Avoid feeling unheard. It’s why he clings to Heather despite knowing she can’t be trusted.

It’s why he clings to Alejandro as a friend despite knowing he’s the bad guy.

It’s why he clings to Courtney until she tries to ignore his persona.

It’s why he turns to Gwen when Courtney tires him.

It’s about the persona. It’s why he chooses to cling to Geoff and DJ but not work with Beth. Geoff and DJ respect him and don’t preach goodness to him. Beth does. The same can be applied to Zoey and her constantly bugging him about being soft. Zoey and Beth are preaching Duncan to be something else, intentionally or not, which is why he doesn’t engage with them unless he feels he has to. He will cling to people, but they need to be what he’s looking for. Otherwise he’s at a loss of receiving affection when he can’t give it without breaking his persona.

It’s why after all these relationships are broken and he’s treated against his persona, he snaps and burns the cottage.

Duncan is emotionally hungry. He nurtures this hunger in the worst of ways.

In that sense, yeah, prison, a place packed with being alone in a cell, really is the Ultimate bad ending for him.

[angesaurus]

Thinking of my own birth experiences a lot this morning! Mine couldn’t be so different.

Kid 1 was a totally unplanned c section. Water broke 2 weeks early, contractions started, started bleeding, ran to the hospital. Immediately was told he was breech (what a little turd 😂). My labor was progressing FAST. I was 5cm when we got to the hospital! They said c section! I said okay and they were going to have me wait a couple hours. But my labor (unmedicated!!!!!!) started going so fast, I told the nurse I had the feeling that I needed to push. She checked me and her eyes got super wide and she was like well shit 😂😂😂😂 so they rushed me back and he was born and it was crazy! I had to be put under after he came out and while they were doing the rest of the stuff because I started feeling crazy intense pressure and panicking! I had eaten before my water broke and they think that made the spinal kind of start to wear off? And I could hear like chainsaws???? 😂 it was wild. Dan thought I died when I fell asleep because I was mumbling and then just went silent 🤦🏻‍♀️ Gavin was literally folded in half when he came out. His toes were by his ears for the first few days unless we had him swaddled lol he’s obviously fine now but they think that caused his torticollis!!!!

Kid 2 I went for a VBAC and got it! My “plan” was to try to go without an epidural for as long as possible because I was told it would better my chances for the VBAC and reduce risk of c section. I ended up changing my mind at about 7cm because the labor pains went down to my thighs! It was absolutely horrifying 😂 I’m so glad I went for the epidural it was amazing 😂 I pushed her out in 30 minutes. I DID have a scheduled c section on the calendar for my due date if she didn’t come on her own. The doctor did not want to induce me at all, said it would bring my risk for uterine rupture higher. I was fine with this. My water broke 2 weeks early in true *my kid* fashion. I had a second degree tear and it was terrible!!!!!!!! Because of the epidural I wasn’t really aware of it and so I think if I had realized that could happen I wouldn’t have pushed so hard. I was DETERMINED to only push for no more than like 40 minutes so I went hard 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

If I ever had a 3rd kid, I don’t know what I would do. My c section recovery was way easier!!!!! But the VBAC was so healing? I wasn’t sad about my c section until I came home and people on the internet told me it was “bad” and I should be ashamed for not “experiencing” birth. It was terrible. I cried for days and I ended up in therapy. Having a supportive obgyn and NP to talk to helped when I got pregnant again. And knowing a planned c section could be on the calendar and knowing I had an end date helped too. I think part of my anxiety stemmed from having no idea when I would go into labor and knowing my due date was the last possible day I would be pregnant helped. I was actually starting to look forward to the c section because it seemed nice to have the day planned and make plans for kid 1 and tell work my last day etc. I mean that didn’t happen 😂 why would it my kids are absolute clowns and both came 2 weeks early 😂😂

It took a good 2 years for me to come to terms with my c section and realize it was a special birth too!!!! I have such good memories from it. And my cooka was so nice and intact ✌🏼 😂 it anyone who knows Gavin knows this was so on brand for him - to just come super fast and change the plans whenever he felt like it 😂 it’s his way or the highway. Whereas Cecilia is way more “yeah mom I trust you” 😂😂😂😂 I feel so lucky to experience birth on two ends of the spectrum!!!!

[mee-the-people]

Things to look forward to in January

Hey there, and happy new year! I hope your year is off to a good start :) It’s been a minute since I’ve done PAC readings on here, but I’m back with a new one: things to look forward to in January. Please pick between the four images below (top most image is pile one). The images don’t belong to me- I found these amazing aesthetics on Pinterest. 

Disclaimer: I am not a therapist or even a tarot expert. I’m simply a tarot enthusiast fascinated with all things spiritual and mystical, so if this reading doesn’t resonate with you, I hope you have a great rest of your day 🙂 Please keep in mind that this is a general reading, so not all of it may resonate. Take whatever resonates and leave the rest behind!

******If you resonated with this reading, please like, comment, and reblog- it really helps spread the word! Thank you!

***If you enjoyed this reading and it resonated with you, you can leave me a tip on PayPal at meena_swaminathan@comcast.net 🙂 (if you choose) Thank you!

Decks Used: Kawaii Tarot Deck, Literary Witches Oracle

Pile One: Cards pulled: Skull, Noose, Wheel of Fortune, Tower

So, pile one, automatically, when I'm looking at the cards, I can tell this is an interesting spread. With the Tower card, I can see you may experience a life-altering change that would require something in your life to break down before something else can take its place. But keep in mind that the "something else" is ALWAYS better than what you are used to. Many people don't like getting the Tower card in their reading because of the intensity, but ultimately whatever has to be destroyed is for the best. The Skull seconds that with its keywords being "transitions, reality, and grief." You may have had a much-needed wake-up call to a situation in your life that just wasn't serving you, pile one. I'm not going to sugar-coat it: it's going to hurt, it's probably going to sting, but trust that it's ultimately for the greater good.

With the Noose card, the keywords from this oracle are anxiety and self-sabotage, which you may be feeling due to the tower moment you may be going through this month, pile one. But I can also see that the Wheel of Fortune upright is a positive sign and a great card to get in a reading, so trust that the universe has your back, pile one. The Wheel of Fortune is just extra confirmation that whatever had to be left behind, whether it's situations or people, was for the best and that better things are in store. The Wheel of Fortune teaches us that luck is cyclical and that one day, luck may be on your side and another day, you may go through a tower moment. At the end of the day, all you can do is trust your instincts and go with the flow of life!

Pile Two: Cards pulled: Yumiko Kurahashi (Transformation), Pond, 5 of Wands, 3 of Pentacles

With the 3 of Pentacles and Transformation, pile two, I can see that you can expect some sort of transformative collaboration this month. Whether it is professional, platonic, or romantic, you can expect a collaboration that will allow you to look inward and find inspiration (Pond). I also see that this collaboration may bring some clashing egos where you or other people in the group may butt heads thanks to the Five of Wands' influence. Sometimes when this card comes in a reading, it may be a sign to discuss the issue with your teammates. Healthy communication and setting clear boundaries are the keys to overcoming tensions that can arise from groups where the people in them are different from each other. But working with people who are different from us can be rewarding because of the unique perspectives that you may not have otherwise thought of had you worked alone!

Pile Three: Cards pulled: Elixir, White Dress, 7 of Cups, Ace of Pentacles

With the 7 of Cups, I can see you may be daydreaming about the options in front of you, pile three. You have a lot to choose from, but somehow you're constricted by someone or something whether it is a person's approval or society at large (White Dress). You feel like you have to conform to something, but conforming to other people's expectations while neglecting your own is toxic (Elixir). Spirit is letting you know that you need to take care of yourself and your health, pile three. Whether that is taking your daily vitamins and drinking water regularly, you need to take care of yourself first. If you've been overworking yourself, take this as extra confirmation that you need to do something for you every once in a while! On the other hand, if you've been stressing out over money, take the Ace of Pentacles as a sign that abundance is coming your way! Because aces symbolize new beginnings, you may not necessarily be overflowing with money, but you'll be creating the foundations for financial success if you are strategic and set goals for yourself. Best of luck to you, pile three!

Pile Four: Cards pulled: Sylvia Plath (The Dark), Pond, Queen of Wands Reversed, Hierophant

You may be coming out of a dark place, pile four. You've been doing some shadow work and you've been in a space where you feel furious at whoever has wronged you. This person might be someone who displayed tyrannical behavior due to what they may have been going through within themselves. This person might be an authority figure or even someone who was an authority figure in your life in the past. While you may still be hurting, pile four, take some time to process your anger in healthier ways. Go within yourself and look for inspiration (Pond) to channel your feelings in healthier ways instead of wallowing in hatred and anguish. With the Hierophant card, you are urged to do the right thing even if it's hard. While you may need to do what is expected of you right now, that doesn't mean you should stay in this situation forever if it doesn't serve your greater good. At the end of the day, pile four, all the answers you are looking for are within you, so why are you searching outside of yourself for the right answer? And what if there is no "right" answer? Life is full of gray areas, but the best thing you can do right now is trust yourself- your intuition can never steer you wrong!

[omsdoortodoor]

Blog Extra - MS Awareness Week 22nd April to 28th April 2024

This week is UK MS Awareness Week and this year Overcoming MS is running a campaign called #MSUnfiltered.

As part of the campaign, OMS is working with MS Society UK, MS Together, Multiple Sclerosis Trust, MS-UK, Neuro Therapy Network and Shift.ms to survey over 1,400 people in the UK living with MS. The survey results showed us that:

When I was diagnosed the first thing I did was to check out the MS charity websites, as recommended by my neurologist.  When I read the long list of symptoms

I was appalled because I had virtually all of these symptoms to some degree or another. 

Here is the list of symptoms combined from the MS Trust and the MS Society websites:

Fatigue

Strange Skin sensations (numbness tingling, pins and needles, a crawling)

Balance and Co-ordination

Vision Problems

Walking difficulties

Thinking & memory difficulties (brain fog)

Bladder & bowel issues

Temperature sensitivity

Low mood, emotional problems, depression, and anxiety

Pain

Sexual issues

Sleep problems

Speech and swallowing problems

Hearing difficulties

Tremors

So when I read the list not only was I dismayed, I was also rather confused.  Because, some of those symptoms I had been putting down to my age.  So how do I know is it my MS or an age thing?

But I’m really hear to talk about the #MSUnfiltered campaign and what we don’t usually talk about.

While I have been very open about my MS diagnosis, there are some people who chose not to tell their employer for fear of being judged and side-lined at work. And when I chose to give up work, I didn’t tell my clients the full reasons behind my decision.  Which were, that I no longer trusted myself to build an accurate spreadsheet of financial projections or that it took me three times longer that it should to write a simple report due to my brain fog and reduction in manual dexterity at the keyboard.  The reduction in my ability to hold complex ideas in my mind undermined my confidence in my own abilities.  I wanted them to remember me as someone capable of doing everything that I used.

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by outside stimulus that I struggle to think straight or to express myself properly.  All I can manage is a grunt because I can’t get the words that I want to say out.  I come over as inarticulate and I worry people will think I am rude because I only use a few words and need to go and lie down.

Up to 50% of people with MS have poor mental health – this is something I am comfortable talking about and I am happy to fly the flag here.  However, when I went on an MS retreat in November and started to talk about how MS affects my mental health, not one person had the courage to talk about their own issues. Even though there were 40 people in the room, and we were in a ‘safe space’.  If the stats are right at least 20 people in that room must have experience of poor mental health. For a moment, I felt a bit embarrassed for raising the topic, but only for a moment.  What I really felt was sympathy that no one else had the courage to share.

And finally, my closest friends will know that I use the loo A LOT. I now have a RADAR key but I haven't had to use it YET.

#MSAwarenessWeek #MSAwareness #MS #MSDiagnosis #OvercomingMS #OMS #MSSymptoms

[alyjojo]

November 😶‍🌫️ 2023 Monthly - Taurus

Whole of your energy: King of Wands

This could be a specific person you’re dealing with, if so they’ve betrayed you before, and they’re coming back around - you’re not sure you can trust them. This could also be you being in charge of something that you aren’t sure whether you need to “kill it”, start over somewhere else or do something else entirely, or should you just tweak something, make some changes, and keep going for it? Either story is you asking yourself if something is even worth your time, is it genuine, is it something with the potential to last? Or not. You need some perspective and answers about whatever this is, or just more proof it’s something worthwhile.

What’s going on in November:

The Magician:

You’re working towards something you dream of and hope for, or someone close to you is, but there is zero confidence in whatever this is. Whatever has happened before this period has made you feel this way in the first place, disappointed, losing steam, sad that there’s a new beginning or a new start in the first place. Wtf went wrong the first time? 10 Swords 💯 While there is an energy of self sabotage here, there’s also a major betrayal or painful ending that causes you to hesitate doing the same thing a second time and expecting different results. You may be doing it anyway, The Magician is taking action to create 10 Cups, but you have little faith it’s actually going to work. That could be working against you, if it’s up to you. If it’s someone else, it feels justified.

10 Cups:

The goal we all have, happily ever after, in whatever lane this is for you, whatever that looks like. You’re trying to create it, but there is a lot of confusion over what *it* looks like, and whether this person or thing has the potential to be that. Wheel of Fortune at the bottom could show you or this currently going through some changes. Maybe this is what you wanted, but is it now? You aren’t sure what you want anymore, combined with a lack of faith that something is even possible, due to some painful experiences. I get you changing 💯 You could simply be changing your mind, but do you have to throw the whole thing away or can you just make some changes, that seems to be where you’re at.

8 Swords:

In some cases, you could be sabotaging yourself with doubt and blocking your own progress…unintentionally. Where this is a person, or others are involved, this is all going on in your own head, you’re not communicating your thoughts, fears, or emotions with anyone at this time. Because you aren’t sure, there isn’t anything to say. You’re a lone wolf handling your own shit. The downside to that is…valuable perspective that could help you see things differently. But you might not trust that even if you had some, being a Taurus, you tend to be naturally skeptical and now it’s like you’ve actually been given a reason to be. You kinda do have to deal with this one on your own, though it’s possible to observe some comment threads of people who have been through this, quietly getting advice from strangers that get it. Spirit sends you signs if you ask & seek them out. 9 Swords at the bottom to follow the 8, your mind is constantly alive with worry and fear. Heavy Gem energy in this reading, you could have that in your chart or be dealing with one. Anxiety and racing thoughts are a daily thing.

The Chariot rev:

Zero movement, you’re blocking any progress in any direction because you just don’t feel secure about what this involves. You could be releasing tension, releasing grudges, making up with a person or deciding to move through your own hesitations with what you’re trying to create here…but you don’t. Essentially this involves returning to something that’s hurt you, 3 Swords, 10 Swords, and it causes 9 Swords at the bottom - again. I’m going to say there’s got to be a reason you hesitate, could be your own gut telling you to. I mostly see fear, not intuition, but I can’t discount it. It may just be logic to you. Strength to follow has a wolf (usually a lion), are you willing to be attacked by a wild beast? Again? Or can you “tame” it? You don’t feel confident.

Strength:

End of the month energy, you are strong in yourself, 9 Swords is at the bottom AGAIN. This is mentally taxing, you’re going to make yourself ill with stress, worry, fear, nightmares, this is constant for you. You aren’t saying anything, and you aren’t doing anything. Not in November. You’re just keeping yourself in a constant state of panic & stress. I can usually find some wisdom in the numbers, but yours are on a loop of the same things I’ve said. That is the issue here, the loop, and until you release that, you can’t move forward. Because you won’t allow it. Some of you need outside help, even a forum, anonymously, outside perspectives.

I asked for advice, I can’t just leave it like that. 6 Wands is recognition, victory, success. Hierophant at the bottom. Some of you would appreciate counseling, or someone you trust to play that role, helping you work through these worries, fears, possible trauma even. I do see healing on the horizon, that’s what’s needed here. This won’t look the same for everyone, if not counseling than help. Real help. An expert in this field, a teacher, a doctor, someone who knows wtf they’re talking about and can make you feel secure & calm your fears. So you’re not blocked anymore 💚 If a relationship, then this person needs to *commit*, and prove it, that takes time.

If this is a business, some sort of disaster has you feeling like “how can I even come back from this?”, in which case you could be speaking to a financial advisor, taking out a loan, or you *could*, and you worry about that every second of every day. If you took out a loan, could you even pay it back? Would it be a success? Or is this all the end, is it all just a sign, and you should take the loss? You need help with this, whatever it is, and you’re questioning what you even want anymore. Your color cards suggest even if you get advice, only you are going to know for sure, the final decision is yours alone.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy Gemini & Leo, Virgo, Scorpio & Libra

Oracles: ✨

30 Divine Timing ⏱

How often do you feel that you want things in your life to change NOW? Not two years from not, not even two months, but: Right. This. Instant! Seldom do we see the whole picture of why our lives are unfolding the way they are. We don’t need to. What we need to do is surrender to the way things are right now. This doesn’t mean to not take action when a situation is untenable. What it means is to let your life unfold before you so that you have access to all the information, all the lessons, and all the people you will need to go where you are headed. Divine timing is at work in this situation. Try not to fight it. Instead go within during meditation and ask the questions you want answers to: “why not now?” “how can I best prepare myself?” “what lessons do I need to learn prior to the change I want to see?” You will get answers.

We enter into November as:

Shrinking Violet 😥

“I don’t trust my intuition.”

Are you retreating from a situation that could bring you success? We all abandon projects that seemingly lack merit. However, Shrinking Violet indicates you may not be trusting your intuition, which is mostly likely on target. Choose three people to ask advice from, then take their advice, throw it out the window and go with your gut. There is every indication you should complete the task at hand. Block yourself off from thoughts of what will happen at the completion stage. Stay the process, don’t worry about the ending, or results, don’t be frightened. Just continue on.

What is to be learned in November:

The Emerald Stone 🧩

“The heart knows what the eyes cannot see.”

There are times when things happen to us and no explanation is possible. Often our journey brings us full circle, leaving many of us to wonder why. The Emerald Stone is inviting you to follow through in whatever is before you. Going back is not an option. Forward movement will change your entire perspective on life - for the better. You may now be able to hear something that you have been told many times. Your reward will be a closer relationship with yourself. If Emerald Stone sparkles for you, it is with the understanding that you are now developing a new perception of things. The Stone welcomes you out of the dark and into your heart.

Green may be a lucky color 💚

[ladylucksrogue]

I wanted to post something yesterday, because Mental Health Monday and all…but yeah, as it is, life got in the way. Specifically, I just kind of fell asleep on the couch as soon as I got home. Oh well, happens to the best of us, or the worst of us?

See what happened there? I wrote a paragraph that is both positive as well as a little self-deprecating, like bordering on negative?

Even as a psychologist, I catch myself lobbing negative thoughts at myself. It’s partially my sense of humor, but part of it is that, like everyone else, I critique myself constantly. Why is it that we do that?

There can be a lot of answers, and no answer will be the same for everyone. It can be force of habit, it can be due to life experiences, or it can be a sign of something deeper, like depression or anxiety or a handy mix of both. A bit of negativity doesn’t have to be a bad thing, as long as it stays within the confines of just a little bit.

When negativity becomes a pattern, it can get out of hand. Today, we are going to talk about a specific kind of pattern that I have seen a lot of lately, and what we can do about it.

Catastrophizing is when we start letting the negative thoughts spiral, when we start predicting all the worst case scenarios, despite there being little evidence that shows us something absolutely terrible is going to happen.

For example: I just lost my job, now I’m going to lose everything.

I failed a test, I am a loser, I’ll never get anywhere.

I suck so bad at this, I’ll never get my license.

These are the “simple cases”. Some people take it way further, creating doomsday scenarios that are cinema worthy. I am never one to critique creativity, but sometimes, it just isn’t that dramatic.

Am I being dismissive of someone’s fears? No. In order stop someone from catastrophizing, or even to stop yourself, sometimes you need a reality check.

Case in point, I was watching the news. I won’t go into specifics, but something very real world triggered something that I thought buried by me, and well, I’m sitting there listening to some expert talk about the situation and ramped up, going on a rant about the worst case scenario. My husband basically told me to breath, that there wasn’t anything I can do about it anyway. It’s not my problem, not anymore and I can’t save the world. And he’s right. What he did, whether he knew it or not, was to stop my spiral in its tracks.

This is important, we can all learn to do this. We all know ourselves pretty well. When we start to realize that a situation is getting critical, when we are feeling that turmoil, that spiral of negativity, we can take a step back. Breath. Find somewhere to sit, grab a coffee/tea/choice of beverage. Focus on the present, focus on the cup in your hands, the birds chirping, whatever.

Break down the situation, right now, as it is happening. It is easy to focus on the negative. We don’t catastrophize about positive things. But just focus on the facts. Facts are good, facts let us work.

Come up with a plan. What can we do in this very moment? Can we do anything at all? Do we need to wait it out? If we do need to wait it out, can we focus on something else so that we don’t get sucked back into that spiral?

Sometimes it helps to look at things from a different perspective, to imagine you are someone else looking in. If you have someone you trust to help you, talk to them about it, the more perspectives you have, the more you realize, things are not as clear cut as you thought.

Sometimes, especially in situations like exams or big events, it helps to positively visualize your end goal. How you get there is irrelevant. You want that license or diploma. Visualize it hanging on your wall, in your hands, you walking the stage. Then if/when you fail a test, you still have that vision in mind. It might be another obstacle in your way but your end goal is the same.

And finally, self care. Self care is important. Focus on you. If you need to take a break, take one. If you need time for yourself, take it. Take a nap, a spa day, a vacation day. Even if you have zero time, find five minutes. Get yourself that latte that you wanted, eat a cookie, something. Take time for yourself, no one else is going to give it to you. And you do not have to justify it to anyone. It is your time. You choose how to use it.

Find people you trust and confide in them. Sometimes the simple act of talking to someone who cares is really important. It lets us decompress and move forward. You know how pressure builds up in a boiler or how when you shake a soda? All that built up pressure has to go somewhere. When you talk to someone, it’s like letting that pressure out…

A little helpful trick I like to use is to find joy no matter what. It can be small. We all have bad days, bad weeks, bad months, etc. Find something, anything that brings you joy. Nothing is too small. Take a minute to look at the flowers on the side of the road, a butterfly, a bird. Let yourself enjoy that moment. The coffee you picked up from that new café is really good? Take a moment to savor that. Little things go a long way to improve your overall well being.

Do you all have any psychology questions or have topics you want me to discuss, let me know 😊 I've wanted to do something like this for a while. I contemplated doing a video, and maybe I will in the future. I just worry I'll come across too boring, like some professor. For now I'll just post here. Stay safe everyone!

[cas-coding]

I’d you don’t mind me asking, (you totally don’t have to tell me) what type of eating disorder do you have? Because I told my girlfriend about it and she said she has similar things.

tbh i dont know how much i’ve talked about my eating patterns on main but most of it is an allergy. i have celiac’s disease which is an autoimmune disorder where gluten (a wheat product) causes my intestinal cells to attack themselves. this causes cysts, pain, and DNA damage to those cells and eating gluten long term can result in cancerous tumors and reduced ability to absorb nutrition. this happened to my great uncle bob, who now has to eat five small meals a day to get enough nutrition to stabilize his weight.

however, this caused a lot of issues for me growing up because i was diagnosed young and live in the united states. almost everything is contaminated in some way so almost all of my food has been homemade for a decade or more. this caused anxiety around eating because i wasn’t ever sure if food made by someone other than my mom was actually safe or if it was contaminated.

since then the world has gotten better and i am trying to trust outside food more. however i also have texture issues with food due to my autism, so even though raspberries taste amazing, the texture overwhelms me and i avoid them. the same is true about most meats.

though my pcp did not diagnose me, my endocrinologist believes i have ARFID, or avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. it’s not based around the perception of your body or your health, it is simply a strong and emotional dislike of many foods that causes malnutrition. it is most commonly found in people with severe allergies and/or autism.

ARFID is difficult to treat because a lot of the reasons people with ARFID avoid food are rational and built on trauma. the best path to fixing ARFID longterm is cognitive behavioral therapy and a slow branch out to try new foods that are similar to your current foods.

there is no harm in eating the same thing every day, so long as that thing keeps your weight consistently healthy and hits your daily nutritional values. this is the path i’ve found best works for me, so that way i know what to expect and i have good, normal experiences with those foods from the day before to use as encouragement if i am having a bad food day. i also recommend learning to make your own food and shop for yourself if it’s an allergy fear, that way you eliminate the middle man and can personally ensure your food is safe for you to eat <3

[shxtodxroki]

Can I request a match up? Can it be male gender? And also class 1a

I'm a girl who's 5'3" with a curvy body and medium, wavy chestnut hair. I have chubby cheeks with a bit of acne.

I tend to keep to myself but not in mysterious type, but rather distrustful due to being hurt in the past. I often try to keep my distance from people, scared of the betrayal feeling, but once you get to know me, I'm actually very calm and loving. However, I do get nervous when talking to people and fear of messing up, which is another reason why I'm very antisocial.

I, often carry this dumb energy that's energetic and enthusiastic behavior that lacks thoughtfulness or intelligence. It may involve impulsive actions or reckless behavior without considering the consequences.

In my free time, I enjoy working out to stay fit. When i want to unwind and relax, I listen to music. I also like to cook and bake, to experiment different recipes and ingredients. I find it calming to focus on a recipe and create something delicious from scratch.I also enjoy solitary hobbies like reading or watching movies. These types of hobbies can provide a sense of escapism and allow me to relax and recharge my batteries.

I don't know how to describe myself

I'm sorry if this is difficult for you. (⁠╯⁠︵⁠╰⁠,⁠)

Don’t worry about describing yourself, you did great and this was more than enough for me to write a match-up for you anonie! Thank you for sending in a request, I hope you see this and that you enjoy your match-up! :D

I’d Match You With: 

Izuku Midoriya! 

Reasoning:

You two honestly just seem like you’d fit well together to me based off of your description of yourself, he understands your anxieties and fears of betrayal and he’s the perfect boyfriend to help ease those fears and treat you the way you deserve to be treated, while also having fun, relaxed times together :]

Headcanons About Your Relationship:

- First of all, Izuku absolutely adores your chubby cheeks! They’re probably his favorite physical feature on you, he loves pressing light kisses to them or poking them gently when you’re feeling down in hopes of making you smile, he’s just really enamored with your precious chubby cheeks :D

- Izuku knows that you have trouble trusting and opening yourself up to people, and he’s very understanding about that fact. Of course he wants to eventually introduce you to his friends and bring you closer to the other people in his life that he cares about, but he takes that process step-by-step with you at whatever pace you’re comfortable with. He’d never push you too far or make you uncomfortable, but he’s good at helping you slowly work through your fears and grow closer to his friends and family

- He also has a tendency to be reckless and/or impulsive, so Izuku’s never going to scold you or make you feel bad for your impulsive actions. He knows he’d be a hypocrite for doing so, so instead, he just focuses on trying to make sure you never accidentally hurt yourself when you get overly excited or impulsive, and he’s always happy to help patch you up if you do find yourself slightly injured 

- Izuku never thinks your energetic or enthusiastic bursts are dumb or unintelligent, he loves seeing you feel so happy and carefree for once and he encourages you to just let yourself feel energetic in those moments. He’ll do whatever he can to keep your mood up during those times, just tell him what you need because he wants you to feel energized and positive and to not feel ashamed for those moments

- Izuku loves working out with you! As a hero-in-training he constantly needs to be in the best shape possible, so he loves to join you in the gym if you're willing to let him :) Even if you two aren’t doing the same sets or exercises, he’s happy to accompany you and share your progress with one another at the end of each work-out (and he totally hypes you up for the progress you've made and/or the work you've done, he's the most supportive boyfriend in the world)

- Izuku’s honestly not the best at cooking or baking lol, he’s kind of a disaster in the kitchen (when he was younger he nearly started a fire trying to cook eggs and burnt them to a crisp, and his mom hasn’t let him near the kitchen since) But he wants to learn! He wants to have the basic life skills to at least be able to cook a basic meal for the two of you so that you don’t get stuck with all the cooking responsibilities, so if you’re willing to teach him and let him watch as you cook or bake, he’ll be a very thankful, happy boyfriend ^^

- Izuku knows that certain hobbies of yours, like reading, are your individual hobbies that you use to unwind and recharge your battery, so he knows not to disturb you during those times. He understands your need for space sometimes, just communicate and let him know when you need a bit of alone time and he’ll spend his time talking with his friends on the phone or watching a movie in the living room while you take the time you need to rejuvenate your energy

- Izuku also knows that you enjoy listening to music, so he frequently makes playlists full of songs he hears that reminds him of you :> When one of his playlists gets too long he’ll send it to you and start a new one, so every few weeks you get a playlist full of cute songs that make your sweet boyfriend think of you and your relationship :] (Please make him a playlist too, he doesn’t care what’s on it! Just the fact that you thought of him and put your time into making a playlist that reminded you of him is enough to absolutely melt his fragile heart :’) )

Song For Your Relationship:

Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery

[trolagygirl2022]

Hii I would like to join your future spouse game✨ I will use tarot cards and intuition. Hope you like it💗

So it seems like they perceive the world from a different perspective in comparison to others. They are very creative and might be into something like art, music or books. They have a great potential but I think that not everyone sees that. Your future spouse could be also a little mysterious around people they don’t know but the roles change once they are with their friends of family. People view them as graceful and trustworthy person. They could be also beautifull! I’m getting the vibes that other people fall in love with your future spouse just by looking at them or they dream to have someone like them/be them. They might be also from a wealthy family. I don’t think that many people are jealous of them, more like they want to get to know them well. Your future spouse will also be successful in life. They’re very responsible and have great control over themselves and their life. They are motivated to achieve their dreams and goals but they are also aware of the important things. Your future spouse is most of the time focused on themselves trying to work on their character or overcoming any difficulties. It also seems like they always have to do something like hobbies or job and maybe traveling. They could have an athletic body/go to the gym. Your future spouse takes/took school seriously and are very educated and smart. I feel like they often hide their interests because it’s their escape from other people if they want to relax or get away even if it’s for few hours. I remember the last time I did reading about your future spouse and honestly their vibe didn’t change but the only thing changed is that they calmed down like they aren’t as competitive as before and they are even more focused on themselves and their business only. Like they couldn’t care less about others (not in a bad way ofc haha) and they enjoy living like that. Your future spouse has other better things to do than care about people’s opinions and what they think of them. While doing this reading I got such dreamy/prince vibes‼️ They might have also a great style and listen to vinyls/classic music.

-MJ♌️🎀

9 of Swords rev, 2 of Pentacles rev, Queen of Cups, 10 of Swords, 9 of Wands.

So I see that your future spouse is a very very defensive person. I just see them locked up all to themselves and they don't like other people indicating their space. Awfully introverted and distant. They don't like getting close to other people because they have this fearful mentality. I see them having very negative experiences with other people. Experiences that have shaped them and negatively impacted them. I'm seeing some issues with their mental health as well. Perhaps they went through severe bullying but I'm seeing something that was physical or verbal. The 9 of Swords card makes me think that they have some sort of anxiety, their energy is very anxious. They're always on high alert with new people. It's like they have this strong intuition. I see them going through times that has made them very mentally unstable. Your person has gone through a lot :/ . They don't trust people and might even be a bit mean at times? They don't mean it but it's just their way of protecting themselves from others. They find themselves very lonely. They might try acting like it's alright and they don't care but they loathe it. I see them feeling very depressed due to it. The truth is, they do want someone in their life. It's just that they haven't met their person just yet. On a more positive note, this person is genuinely sweet, kind and caring. Once they let you into their life, you'll see how sweet and kind they are. They're pretty sensitive but seem to have this sharp intuition? Their energy is strongly coming off as feminine energy. I wouldn't be surprised if they grew up with a prominent female figure in their life. I'm picturing someone with water placements (all three but cancer seemed to have shown up the most here).