fexiom

[nomairuins]

its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF

[telesodalite]

Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??

Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.

One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.

And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.

These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.

How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?

Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.

And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?

Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.

Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.

And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.

In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.

[fairycrackhead]

𝒃𝒂𝒅 𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 | toxic fuck boy Gojo x toxic reader

pairing: toxic fuck boy.ᐟGojo x toxic.ᐟreader

summary: Halloween night is now engraved in your memory which you can only assume it will be for the rest of your lives. When you two should have been trick or treating as normal 14 year olds would do, you instead opt to take each others virginity’s. Now you two are stuck in an endless cycle of toxic bad romance.

warnings: mention of abuse, drunk people, porn, minors watching porn, minors having sexual Intercourse, slight degradation, having unprotected sex, mentions of pregnancy, hair pulling, mentions of murder, toxic relationship.

word count: 3.5k

a/n: this was a random idea i thought up of when i heard the song ‘bad romance’ by lady gaga on the bus the other day! anyways this is my first fic i hope you sluts enjoy :)

⎜ 11:32 pm My Bitch (y/n) : your seriously a dick yk that?

⎜ 11:37 pm My bitch (y/n): i fuckin despise u

⎜ 11:45 pm Mr. Cock (Gojo): and your telling me again, y?

⎜ 11:47 pm My bitch (y/n): bc your w/ another girl like it’s clockwork, do you not see the problem here, Gojo? i asked you to stop the bullshit.

⎜ 11:49 pm Mr. Cock (Gojo): ur not my gf. im in for pussy that’s it. yk im not a relationship guy

⎜ 11:52 pm Mr. Cock (Gojo): and yet you continue to come back to me. pathetic honestly

⎜ 11:56 pm My bitch (y/n): fuck you

⎜ 12:00 am Mr. Cock (Gojo): already needy? 😂

You should’ve known what kind of man Satoru Gojo was when you lost your virginity to him on Halloween night, 2011. It’s not like it was forced upon you, besides the occasional talk in the middle school hallway that ‘girls who were virgins were prudes’ or ‘how pathetic is it that there’s still virgins in the 8th grade’. Looking back at it now, it sounds really stupid…like really fucking stupid. All those supposed ‘women’ they would call themselves, ‘women’ who just now learned how to correctly put a tampon into the pussy that they just mercilessly shaved, (more like butchered), were all still scrawny, pathetic little girls inside. Of course hearing all the chatter about everyone’s virginity losses, the stories that were so horrific it made you wanna vomit and change schools, made you insecure on the inside. It’s not like you hadn’t thought of sex before, it just wasn’t your current desire to have some undeveloped boy’s dick in one of those…holes down there. Which also brought up another concern for you: how to even do the act. You assumed that the other person would lead (which was a bad guess because Gojo was a fumbling inexperienced idiot as well).

And it was almost nothing like the old pornos your dad had playing on repeat on the old box tv. He’d spend all his off days (which were more than days he actually got his ass up and went to work), drinking, belching, an occasional scratch of his ass, and watching naked women dance around on the grainy tv. You guys never got the money to buy a new one, maybe if he went to his job down the street at the local corner store he could afford more than the crappy ten dollar pizza down the block.

But who knows, you’ve seen those disgusting scenes, at an age way too young to even comprehend, so did you really have any knowledge? You were a curious kid, not a dumb one, you could easily depict whether or not the porn on the screen was realistic or not. Most the time it was the latter. The overdramatized moans and screams made you wince, on more than a few occasions, but it’s not like the paper thin walls separating the living room and yours did much to help. From having no mother figure to really correct your behavior, and a father that couldn’t give a fuck less, it started your one of many issues. Discovering sex at a really young age, not the act itself but any form of porn an eight year old could get their sticky, grubby hands on. The noises from the tv haunted your mind in a chilling way, making you want to stay as far away from it as possible, yet were still so fucking intrigued.

Until it was the start of the 9th grade, and surprisingly the comments the ‘women’ made in the locker rooms were still present in your mind, not surrounding your every thought, but still there deep down in the back of your mind. ‘Girls who are virgins are lame prudes’. If only you knew that those girls were bluffing about the whole virginity loss thing, but it seemed convincing enough at the time. The way they described how their ‘mans’ bent them over countless times over their granite countertops, or on the elementary school playground. It sounds absurd now, but they had big boobs, and horny teenage boys liked big boobs, so it must of been true, right?

And now here you are, at an headache inducing party, or rave, whatever you wanna call it, watching Gojo talk to yet another girl, more like plain on flirting. She seemed like one of those girls that wouldn’t know if a forty pound dumbbell hit her right in the forehead, so just Gojo’s usual fuck of the night. All he did was stare at her boobs which were spilling out the corset of her trashy costume, and make very poor conversation. What a man whore. You could see Gojo’s shit eating smirk on his lips even from far away and in the almost completely pitch black room, only flashing lights that could cause seizures giving you any sort of seeing ability.

His eyes move from her lips to her tits. Lips—tits—lips—tits. You just wanted to knock the red solo cup out of his overly large fingers and put them somewhere useful. (Such as your aching cunt just dripping in anticipation.) You wanted to go to the nearest open bedroom, drag him by is weirdly hot silver chain, and let him have at you. But you hold back your desires, trying not to let into another spiral of emotions with this man, the same cycle that’s been happening forever now.

You practically crush your phone with your bare hand after receiving that last text, but you refrain and shove it back into your bra since your day to day purse didn’t match your outfit. You take a long deep breath, one you often had to take due to Gojo’s infuriating cocky persona. Walking over to the kitchen, a mini bar was set up in this random kids house, which wasn’t even his you assumed by the family pictures propped up on basically every flat surface.

You hated the parties your friends dragged you to, you felt too old to be in the scene of just barely legal adults blacking out and throwing up so much to the point of you having to look around before walking to avoid stepping in someone’s chunky puke. But to your surprise you actually enjoyed the noise, not making it, but watching others create it. It gave you some sort of distraction from your thoughts which seemed to consume and take over your life since the 9th grade. You wouldn’t call it trauma necessarily, it’s not like you knew you had a fucked up home life until you were fresh out of high school. People on the outside saw your drunken father, crappy rundown home, and the rotational three outfits you wore each week to school and saw it has straight abuse. On some level, the lack of care you were given could be seen as abuse by default, but you were a happy kid. Sure, you were exposed to porn by the time you were eight, but it was just normal to you…in some kinda depressing fashion.

Gojo came from a completely different background, whenever you stepped into his gated community it felt like you were in some other world, an insanely futuristic environment. He was rich, but he wasn’t cocky like those spoiled brats you see on those UK television shows like Super Nanny. At least not when you two had met. It wasn’t a close friendship necessarily, but you two enjoyed each other’s company’s to the point of having sex with each other, so maybe you were closer than you originally thought.

⎜12:08 am Mr. Cock (Gojo): don’t forget you made me like this. don’t get pissy abt what u created.

You dig your phone back out of your lace bra and scoff when you see the message, your hand threatening to go find this piece of shit and chuck your phone at his big head instead. You don’t answer, stuffing your phone back where it came from. You gently push other drunks out your way, reaching for a beer from the ice chest. Using your mouth (one Gojo would call very useful and efficacious), popping it open with your canines.

One thing you loathed about Gojo (not to mention the other 52 things written in your notes) was he thought you were the reason for his ‘fuck boy’ qualities. Yes, you both took each other’s virginity’s, it’s not like he didn’t want it, in fact he wanted it more than you, judging the throbbing of his cock when he first showed it to you. It always comes flooding into your mind every night, more so each Halloween. You came to resent the holiday since it only reminded you of that night 13 years ago. Despite it being over a decade ago, you still recall the nervousness and excitement that you felt when he finally came inside you. It makes you laugh when you remember how totally freaked you were, how you thought you’d get pregnant with his baby.

At that moment you repeated over and over again how ‘this was a terrible idea’ and ‘i hate that you let us do this’. It was an all around shit show for a good twenty minutes before Gojo finally snapped and yelled at you to get over it. Besides it not being the most calm way to handle your panic, it worked. Who could blame him, he was scared shitless too. You both ended the night by trick or treating, it was a kinda dud of a night considering typical trick or treating hours ended two hours ago during your private fun. Luckily Gojo spotted a house on your near midnight walk, a load of halloween candy left in a bowl on some old lady’s porch.

“We shouldn’t-“ but of course, he didn’t let you finish, pressing a shy brief kiss on your lips instead. He had a subtle blush on his pale cheeks, a blush you would only see now during your angry make up sex sessions. Grabbing your hand, and practically dragging you to the house. “Just grab the fuckin’ candy, ya scaredy cat.” He laughs, looking around the dark streets before snagging the candy bowl with a big orange pumpkin face plastered on the front, running off.

“Gojo! YOU FUCKIN’ THEIF!” you giggle, suddenly the porch lights flicker on like some horror movie, and your heart drops into your ass. The door swung open to have your neighbor, Mrs. Miller standing there seething, her mini chihuahua perched in her arms like it was her newborn child. Gojo stopped in his tracks, still heavily breathing like some out of shape forty year old.

“Why you little!” Mrs. Miller reached out to grab you, only for you to duck her failed attempt of dragging you back. Gojo jumped up and down with an amused smile on his face, calling out for you to run faster, which you try to comply as best as possible. You run over to Gojo as fast as your legs would carry you, locking arms and running to who knows where, you can’t quite remember each detail. After that point the rest of the night was a blur to you, still thirteen years later. The sound of Mrs. Miller’s feisty chihuahua, later identified as ‘FeFee’ chasing after you being the most exciting part of the whole ordeal. Gojo and you laughing your way home, still heaving from running so fast from the tiny animal, a ‘disgrace’ to the dog community as he called it.

You both promised that after the scare of possibly having to raise a baby at the ripe age of 14, (and almost having bloody ankles due to FeFee) that fucking each other would be a one time thing.

But it wasn’t.

“F-fuck..! mhmph—God!” He continuously rammed into you from the back, his hands gripping your waist so hard it felt like you had broken bones. Your halloween costume was now thrown somewhere in the corner of this bedroom, who’s bedroom? You had no idea, but at the moment you couldn’t give two shits.

“Yeah? You like that baby?” Gojo thrusted harder, making a broken cry fall from your lips like water. “Knew you c-couldnt…resist my cock any longer, bitch.” Possessed grunts come from him at each thrust and movement he makes. Vibrations from the music of the party travel through the walls, Gojo going deeper and faster to the sound of the horrible rave music downstairs.

If it wasn’t a party, people might of thought a murder was going on by the sounds of your wails of pleasure, but it was normal to fuck at a party, no matter the location.

Tears seep into the pillow that the side of your face was squished down onto, mascara running down your face as you sob from a mixture of pain and pleasure. “Gojo!” you sob, the pleasure becoming too much to bare, yet you couldn’t get the established safe word (which you two only made in 10th grade because you overstimulated him by riding his cock to the point of him passing out) to come out. His dick was that fucking good.

The sound of his heavy, cum filled balls coming in contact with your plush ass make you clench around his length, causing an animalistic moan from Gojo. A room echoing SMACK comes in contact with your ass, making you thrust your back into him, fucking him right back. The burning of the stinging sensation leaves you wanting more, the feeling of his hand still lingering on your left cheek.

Gojo begins going at an alarmingly hasty pace, his whole body aching for more of you, all of you, every single cell. The sound of your sloppy pussy squelching each time he pulls in and out, makes the heat in the pit of his stomach rise. By now you can’t see clearly, eyes welled up with tears and the remains of gooey eyelash glue. One of his hands leave your sore hip, grasping into your messy locks, giving it a good tug “MHMP! ….F-f—fuck!” This only causes him to yank your whole head back, you look up through your lashes, which are stuck together with a mixture of glue and sweat.

“Y-yeah,” he huffs, gripping your roots to a point of it being just downright painful. “keep looking at me….yeah mhmph—j-just like that.” The intense eye contact makes his thrusts even quicker and more efficient, his fat, squishy balls hitting your puffy clit over and over. “So fuckin’ tight for me.” Another hard spank wipes itself across both of your cheeks, the jiggle of them causing yet another guttural moan from Gojo’s throat.

Your soppy wet cunt drips all down his cock, his balls picking up the reminisce of your warm, flowing juices. Gojo’s fingers unravel themselves from your now frizzy hair, the thought of having to wash it later tonight makes you internally groan. His fingers make a slow, tantalizing path up and down your back, the contrast evident between his soft, gentle touch and his monstrous rock hard cock going in and out of your folds. Your face plants back down in the tear-drenched pillow case, the bed creaking from the force of your two bodies going at it.

His slow paced, soft finger touches come to an abrupt end when it meets your soft breasts. An aching cry sounding from your lips as his pointer and thumb mesh together around your now hard nipple. “Mhm…look at you…all whiny for m-me.“ He thrusts harder, your cervix feeling almost numb and incredibly bruised. At this point, your slobbering at the mouth like a dog with rabies, eyes rolling to the back of your brain each time his cock hits every delicious spot.

Gojo’s movements start to get sloppy, as well does the kisses he starts to place on your neck, back, and shoulders. The quick erratic pace starts to slow, forearms trembling from the strength he’s used to hold them on the side of your head all night. His thrusts are slow, long, almost like he’s grinding in slow motion, yet it’s not any less effective. Your thighs begin to shake with overwhelming pleasure, the pressure your body is holding in making you wanna scream it all out. “Mhmph g-gonna cum!” You practically scream a moan out, making Gojo’s lips turn upwards in a smug grin. His lips make their way from the left side of your neck to the middle, and then to the right, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses in their wake. Dark red and purple bruised hickeys are now spread all down your body, surely to be left there for weeks to come.

“Nuh uh…not yet,” Gojo grunts as he feels your warm cunt clench around his throbbing cock for the millionth time that night. “This is my pussy…I g-get to tell you when to cum.” You almost wanna roll your eyes at his statement but your too drunk off his cock to care. You attempt to protest, the knot in your stomach becoming too hot to handle, but you get shut up right away when his fingers twist around your sensitive nipple once more, letting out a deep moan from your soul. Your hands grip the silk sheets in desperation, needing to grab something in order to keep you stable. “Mhm, tell me baby…who’s pussy is this?”

You cry into the pillow, pain, pleasure, and the feeling of being absolutely turned on in your whines. After not answering right away, Gojo grabs you by the hair again, yanking your head back, causing your neck to stretch to lengths you didn’t even know you had the flexibility to do so. “I asked, who does…this pussy belong to?” He says through gritted teeth. You feel every 8 inches of his cock in your stretched out pussy, every inch filling you up to as much as you could take. Each vein, the pounding pulse that acts as a second heartbeat, every thick, gurthy inch. When you don’t respond for the second time, too delirious to even understand what’s going on, he throws your head roughly back into the pillow, picking up his pace again.

Everything able to clench on your body does, gripping the pillow with such force that your knuckles turn white. Drops of sweat patter onto your back from Gojo’s forehead, the warm salty liquid making you squirm. Another sudden spank lands on your fat ass cheeks, and you couldn’t help but let loose. “FUCK—GOJO!” Strings of loud breaking moans and screams escape your mouth, sounding like a real murder now.

Gojo throws his head back once he feels your warm, sticky cum surround his palpitating cock. He pumps his dick back into you, pushing your cum back into your dripping wet cunt as far as his cock would let it. He himself finally let’s go, the thin string in his body snaps as his warm liquids mix with yours, in all too familiar feeling. His deep moans rush right to your core, the thrusts becoming inconsistent and sloppy once more. You hear the big analog clock from the entry way downstairs, giving you a slight reminder where the hell you were. Some random persons house, where his parents would probably be any second, and maybe you were even fucking in their bed. You bite your lip, slightly turned on by the fact of possibly getting caught, like you were a teenager back home, sucking Gojo’s cock before his father returned from work.

You whisper moan Gojo’s name over and over like a mantra, in other words, thanking him for finally giving you what your aching pussy had needed. You can tell he’s grateful too, being more gentle as if he had not just fucked your lights out. Caressing your back, like he did the first time this toxic relationship began back in 9th grade. Any memory loss from him talking to that girl just an hour ago was completely thrown out the window, even though you knew deep down you were just like her. One of his play things, the only difference was you weren’t oblivious to his motives. In fact you played into them, driving the toxicity just as much as he did. It made it fun that way. No matter how many guys you fucked, the number of cocks you sucked, the lips you kissed, none of them compared to his, and it made you feel sick in the most pleasurable way possible.

Gojo eventually pulls out, after speaking strange sweet nothings into your ear, which you haven’t heard since he was fifteen. You hated how it made your heart feel so warm, unlike the feeling of the cool air hitting your cunt. The cold air makes you wince, missing his cock already despite still feeling it’s outline in your folds. Fingers leave your hard, tender nipples, bringing them down to your dripping cunt, wiping the access off your thighs.

You start to come back to reality from the moment, the room still filled with humid sticky air caused by the amount of hot breaths and touches made throughout. The only sounds now being your heavy breathing, reminding you of the night you two ran away from FeFee, and slurping from Gojo, licking away at his fingers coated with your sweet salty release. Your folds still leaking with a mixture of your cum, trickling down your painfully sore thighs.

Gojo looks at the syrupy goodness leaking onto the silk sheets, a liquid you would only expect to see on waffles at the local cafe down the street. He finally collapses on top of you, softly massaging your right side, face pressed into the crook of your sweating neck. Placing gentle kisses on your sticky skin, bodies molded into one by your muggy bodies. You savor the moment, knowing deep down in your heart that things would go back to how they were in just a couple hours, fighting, screwing other girls and guys, and all together, a toxic romance.

You sit on the curb, voices from the party still able to be heard as you wait for your cab. You sit there like you’ve been through hell and back, you were if it meant having the best sex you’ve had in a good long while. Sitting on one cheek, the other still too sore to have pressure applied to it, you hear a ding from your phone. You wait a minute, trying to calm your pounding headache from both the alcohol and the amazing sex you just endured. The cool fall air blowing past you as you open the text you received, a small smirk tugged up your chapped lips.

⎜1:34 am Mr. Cock (Gojo): had fun. see u next halloween baby 🫴🏻🍑

[serverusslaype]

Shameless, pt. 10

Severus Snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

it's ya girl, back again...! 😼

hello, hi, how are you all? :) hope you are doing well! i'm feeling a lot better, i'm just congested now fml </3

this chapter is shorter, but not too short. as in it's not as long as the previous ones - they were like 6,000 words+, this is only 4,000-5,000 i think. The main reason is because it didn't really make sense to me to have it longer. so i hope you guys enjoy it!

thank you for all the likes, reblogs and most importantly the replies you left on the last chapter, they had me fucking dying oh my lord. 😭 you guys are so funny honestly. please keep leaving stuff like that it truly makes me laugh and makes my day 🌟🩷

Also guys what the fuck since when could you attach songs????? IM ABOUT TO GO BACK AND ADD SOME ON THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS BECAUSE WHATTT MIND BLOWN

without further ado......

You trailed behind McGonagall and Snape, keeping your eyes glued to the floor in front of you as your body was still on fire from your encounter with Severus.

"How on Earth did Black manage to slip into the castle?" Snape hissed, briefly looking at McGonagall who was striding beside him, her brows laced together with worry. A shiver slid down your spine as Snape's stern voice bounced off of the stone corridor, creating a rather dramatic echo. Only moments ago were you about to kiss the man, totally disregarding the fact that you were seeing Ben. What a fucking mess.

Then again, you thought, how could anyone not get lost in his eyes? Gods, you were such a pathetic excuse for a woman as of right now.

Severus's eyes were distracting, almost magnetic-like, as they beckoned you to look further within them, silently persuading you to forget about anything and everything that mattered to you. You were sure he didn't intend to do such a thing, or maybe that's what you were telling yourself, but in that intimate moment with him, you couldn't help but feel inclined to kiss him. Whether it was the heat of the moment or not, you were sure he wanted to kiss you too.

"We're not sure," McGonagall replied, sighing in a distressed manner as she ripped you from your self-destructive thoughts. "Even Albus is baffled as to how he eluded our defences." You flicked your eyes up to glance at Minerva. You sort of felt like you shouldn't be here, it's not like you'd be much help if Black appeared in front of you right this second - your knowledge and skill in combat was nowhere near the level of McGonagall and Snape, you were certain that you'd probably be a burden. The thought of slipping away down a corridor poked at your brain, taunting you.

"Y/N?" Minerva's worrisome voice once again pulled you from your thoughts. You looked up, face flushing as you met Severus's curious eyes. Quickly glancing away, you focused your attention on the Gryffindor Head of House, afraid of the outcome if you stared any longer at him.

"Yes?" You cleared your throat, ignoring the way Severus was side-eyeing you from behind Minerva.

"Would you mind going to check the greenhouses?" She asked. Severus snapped his head at Minerva, clearly in disagreement with her proposal. You frowned slightly at his quick reaction, a tad offended.

"Minerva, I don't think that's a wise idea." Severus said rather sternly, glancing at you for a brief moment. Your face felt hot again.

"Y/N is more than capable of handling herself, Severus." Minerva replied, matching his stern tone. Severus's jaw ticked as he huffed quietly, looking away from the the older witch, silently feuding with her decision. She turned to you and offered a reassuring smile. You appreciated the faith that she had in you, but you weren't sure it was... correctly placed, to put it lightly. You pursed your lips, slightly awkward, stuck between staring at Severus's doubtful eyes and Minerva's confident ones. As you met Snape's eyes, he looked away, his brows furrowing. Your stomach somersaulted, but you weren't sure it was in the positive way you wanted. "Severus, check the dungeons." Minerva ordered, and he obliged with a curt nod, leaving almost immediately without a blink at you.

You shut your eyes briefly, fighting the urge to scream. Fuck, did you just make it extremely awkward between you two? Or was that just him being his naturally dismissive self? Was he just saving face because the two of you were in the presence of McGonagall? Did he actually lean in to kiss you as well or... did you imagine that?

"Y/N?" Minerva called, once again pulling you from your thoughts.

"Hm?" You blinked, eyes widening quickly as you realised you had a job to do. "Sorry, I was just-"

The older witch gently touched your forearm, causing you to look up at her with twinkling eyes. "What's going on with you and Severus?" Minerva questioned you, keeping her voice low but curious. As you looked at her, hesitantly, you saw sadness in her eyes, or perhaps... pity? "I know what I saw." She added rather glumly. You were a little confused at her tone, why did she seem so... sad about this?

"I don't know what you're talking about." You choked out awkwardly. Her brows knitted together as she leant her head back slightly, almost like she was disappointed in you.

"Don't make me sound like a fool, Y/N." She said. That was the same tone she had taken with you when you were a student. You immediately tore your eyes away.

"I..." Your mouth stayed open for a moment, unsure of what to say. "It's... complicated."

"It always is with Severus." Minerva sighed through her nose, a little agitated. You looked back and tilted your head at her, confused.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Severus is a complicated man, Y/N. I'm not sure you're aware of just how far his... trauma... goes." She said quietly, her tone switching back to it's usual soft one. You broke your gaze from Minerva's and shifted it to the ground thoughtfully.

"Nothing will come of it," You shook your head as the image of Ben flooded your mind. You winced. "It was a mistake, I shouldn't have done that, it was just a spur of the... moment... sort of thing." You shrugged, trying to ignore the pain that was currently blossoming in your chest at the sound of your own words. "I'm, err, seeing someone, anyway."

"Oh?" Minerva quirked a brow at you. This must sound so disorderly to her. You're seeing someone, but she had walked in on you almost kissing Severus? She probably thinks you're some kind of harlot that can't keep her legs closed now. Jesus. Nice one.

"Um, Benjamin- Benjamin Bluewater, I'm sure you're familiar with that name..." You trailed off, shrinking as you awaited her answer. You knew he wasn't a fond topic amongst the teachers at Hogwarts back in the day, so you were always preparing yourself for a scolding or some sort of judgemental remark.

"Oh, yes, I remember Mr Bluewater." Minerva hummed thoughtfully, staring at you with her inquisitive eyes. You felt as if you had to explain yourself.

"In regards to the... thing you saw- Severus and I, it's complicated, like I said, there's this weird... tension between us-" You were rambling now, and you couldn't stop yourself. Merlin, someone stop you, please. "I can't really explain it, I mean I have feelings for him, but he didn't feel the same, then I-I met Ben, and then today happened, and... it's just a whole... mess, Minerva, I don't know what to do." You huffed, clearly distressed with the situation. You looked down at the floor, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment, too worked up to even look your colleague and former-professor in the eye. "I'm sorry, I know there's another situtation at hand and I shouldn't be bothering you with such... trivial things but..." As you looked up, a soft smile had made it's way onto her face. You were rather shocked to see that. You'd expected another disappointed frown.

"Y/N," Minerva said soothingly, placing a calming hand upon your frantic ones, "as much as I respect and admire Severus, I think you should focus on Benjamin." She sighed softly. "Save your heart. Severus will only break it." A sad smile crossed her features, almost like she knew how you felt. Your mouth was parted - mainly from shock. Perhaps you should listen to Minerva, she'd known Severus for much, much longer than you have. You didn't know what to say, so you only nodded, closing your mouth slowly. "Now, I have to find Albus. Will you make sure the greenhouses are safe?"

"Of course." You swallowed, a feeling of uncertainty settling upon you.

"Lumos." You muttered, aiming your wand in the darkened room, the reflections of your wand glittering against the mossy windows. Your eyes darted around the greenhouse, searching for any sign of Black having been inside or nearby.

Everything seemed to be as you'd left it. All of your assignments were in the correct place, no plants nor pots had been knocked over and broken... no signs of forced entry... A sigh of relief slipped out of you, your tense body relaxing. Though, before you got too comfortable, the sound of a twig snapping behind you reversed all indications of your relief.

"Jesus!" You cried out, whirling around like a bullet, your frightened eyes softening a tad as they fell upon a tall, cloaked figure - none other than Severus Snape. "Please, can you not do that?!" You sighed, a hand flying to your chest in a feeble attempt to settle your racing heart as your cheeks painted themselves pink.

An amused smirk tugged at Snape's lips as his hands were clasped behind his back, staring down at you. "And not witness the terrified look upon your face?" Severus quipped, clearly relishing in your entertaining reaction. "I must disagree."

"At least let me know you're there, I could have hurt you." You replied with a glare, looking up to see an incredulous brow cocked up on Severus's face. You rolled your eyes at him. "Okay, I wouldn't have hurt you, but still, just... tell me next time." You huffed, rather exhaustedly. "Why are you here anyway? Aren't you meant to be checking the dungeons?" 

"I did." Severus nodded, allowing his eyes to study your still-petrified, yet red face. You swallowed, feeling rather vulnerable under his gaze. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, debating whether to speak again. "I just wanted to make sure you were... alright."

"Oh," You choked, feeling like someone had just winded you. Did he really just say that? "I'm okay." You said, placing your wand back inside the pocket of your forest-green robes.

"I can see that." Severus muttered, blinking slowly at you. McGonagall's words uttered in your mind as you felt yourself becoming lost in his dark, black eyes once more.

'Save your heart. Severus will only break it.'

"We should head back." You cleared your throat as your soft voice pierced the blanket of silence that had fallen upon the two of you. "The greenhouses are clear. I doubt Black would choose to hide out here, it's not exactly... erm, tidy." An embarrassed grimace twisted your features as you glanced around the room.

"I don't suppose it helps when one is bombarded with... gifts." Severus said, spitting the last word out like it was poison. You glanced up at him, frowning.

"And what's wrong with that?" You folded your arms against your chest rather defensively.

"In my humble opinion," Severus gave a curt sigh through his nostrils, evidently disapproving of Ben's tendency to send you a copius amount of flowers amongst other things. "Few small, meaningful gifts are far more superior than a prolific amount of materialistic gifts." He finished, sneering slightly at the wilting flowers that were dotted around your greenhouse, all adorned with different handwritten notes. Inside, you agreed with Snape, and you wished that that was the case with Ben, but he just seemed to think that throwing gold and flowers at you would keep you interested. Of course, you didn't mind him sending you such things, you were grateful, but it was getting a little tiresome. 

"Just because you don't get any." You teased, trying to hide the cheeky smile that tugged at your lips. Severus's head snapped to yours, an icy glare piercing your soul. You shivered slightly, a little sheepish as his sharp eyes dug into yours.

"I don't need gifts to satisfy my ego." He quipped, turning his nose up at you. Clearly, he didn't appreciate your light-hearted joke.

"Right, because talking down on people does that for you." You retorted, narrowing your eyes at Severus. Your patience was thin today, obviously.

"You seem to have grown a backbone, Y/N." Severus stepped towards you.

"I need one with you." You huffed, turning away from him. Severus watched curiously as you stepped away from him, his eyes trailing down your back, silently admiring your robes. He couldn't help but notice how pretty you looked in green. He thought it suited you better than your usual yellow and black. Perhaps he was just being selfish, imagining you in his House colour.

"Are you quite done?" Severus voiced. You cast a confused glance at him.

"With?" You frowned, cocking a brow expectantly.

"Having a tantrum." He replied, infamously cocking his brow at you.

"You're joking, right?" You scoffed at him, taking the bait like a fool. You turned yourself around to face him. "I made a lighthearted joke and you took it personally." The corners of his lips tugged upwards slightly in amusement. At this point it was too easy for him to wind you up. "What are you smiling about?" You stepped towards him, challenging him. He was getting underneath your skin.

"It's a pity that big mouth of yours doesn't match up with your brain." Severus said languidly, his deep voice sending a shockwave through your body. You had to swallow to compose yourself as your stomach began to tingle. He stood motionless in front of you, his hands still clasped behind his back, though you were blind to the fact that he was currently squeezing them harder the closer you got.

"Big mouth?" A gasp fell from your lips as you stared up at Severus, your eyes narrowing into a glare. "That's rich coming from you." You retorted, feeling your cheeks grow hot as you held his gaze. His lips twisted into a smirk as he closed the space between you with another step, that familiar smell of him overwhelming you.

"Is it?" Severus challenged you, silently enjoying your vain show of determination. He set his shoulders back as he stared down at you with scrutinising eyes, studying every inch of your pinkening face. He was getting a reaction out of you, and he was loving it.

"Yes." You panted. At this point, you were so worked up and distracted by his words and luscious scent that you hadn't noticed how unravelled you'd become. Your chest was heaving, breaths quiet and deep, your cheeks flushed unashamedly. You were a breathless mess. Your body was begging for Severus at this point. You were desperate for him to touch it, to even just lay a finger on it- anything. You had to relieve this ache.

"Please, enlighten me, Y/N." Severus whispered, leaning in towards you. A growl bubbled in your throat as you glared at him, your irked eyes boring into his. You were so tense and wound up that you couldn't talk. Your words were so jumbled together that you just couldn't form a coherent sentence without embarrassing yourself. "Hmm," Severus hummed, tilting his head at you, as if he was analysing you like an equation. "Didn't think so." He added smugly, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards.

"You're such an arsehole." You exhaled, shoving him with a flat palm. He didn't budge. Instead, his hand flew to your wrist, gripping it like an iron vice. Your eyes widened as Severus's once-smirking lips fell into a serious, flat line, his eyes burning.

"Weren't you taught that you mustn't... touch... what... isn't... yours?" Severus tutted, articulating each syllable with a hint of venom. You wished that wasn't the case, but in this world, you rarely get what you want. 

You clenched your jaw at Severus, tugging at your wrist in a vain attempt to free it. His grasp tightened, and you balled your fist. "Let go." You whispered as he tugged you towards him, just mere milimeters separating your bodies. Severus's eyes burned into yours, your body betraying you as it erupted into goosebumps; his face dangerously close to yours once more.

"Where are your manners?" Severus whispered back harshly, his hot breath dancing across your face once more, teasing you. You let your eyes flick between his, hesitating as they dropped down his face, eyeing his lips.

"Perhaps you need to teach me some." You taunted, breathless, your mind jaded. Not one appropriate thought was racing through your mind right now. Severus's brow quirked at your reply, quite obviously taken aback.

"An insufferable brat like you is unteachable." Severus spat back, baring his teeth. The insult didn't do it's job of hurting you, rather, it... aroused you. Your bodies were grazing against one another now, and the way his chest was scraping against yours was sending you into overdrive.

"You wanna bet?" You growled as he released your wrist after one more relentless tug from you. Severus kept his arm raised for a moment, his palm splayed as he glared down at you, your noses almost as close as they were just hours ago. Silence encased the two of you again, only your irregular, ragged breathing being the one thing that the two of you could hear. He was the first to break it.

Gods, you were so close. At this very moment, you had no care left inside of you. You were shameless for him. You couldn't hold yourself back anymore.

After several insufferable seconds, you threw your lips against his; the electric jolt that shot through you almost unbearable as a stifled moan slipped from your lips. A muffled grunt growled at the back of Severus's throat as his hands flew to your hips, kissing you back with such thirst and force you were worried he'd leave bruises around your mouth. His long, slender fingers dug into your clothed flesh like the desperation of a starved man as he pulled you taut against him, his left hand gliding down your arm to grasp messily at your hands, guiding them to sit around his neck. You allowed your fingers to comb through his thick, raven locks; nails grating at his scalp, prompting a delectable, throaty groan from him. Your legs tingled at the sultry noise. The rough, black buttons of his frock dug into your bared chest as he hauled you closer with greedy hands, the coarse texture scraping against your skin, bound to leave thin red scratches across your breast. A strangled cry fell from your lips as Severus teethed your bottom lip, playfully pulling at it. He released it and pressed another heated, sloppy kiss against your swollen mouth, your lids fluttering as you felt yourself melt into his addictive touch.

Severus pulled away from you, a begging whine falling from your lips. "So needy." He teased, breath hot and dangerous.

"Shut up." You muttered through gritted teeth, pulling him back onto you, your body igniting once more his lips met yours.

Pressing your aching body against his, Severus's cold hand slipped up to the back of your hot neck and brought your face impossibly closer to his; your spine aflame as delicious chills shot down it. With burning lungs, you parted your lips, darting your wet tongue into his mouth. Severus let out a heavenly whimper as your tongue licked against his, sending a rush of blazing heat through his shuddering body. Suddenly, he was pushing you backwards, lips still locked in a ferocious fight as the backs of your thighs hit the edge of your desk. Severus's hands swiftly slid from your waist and hooked themselves beneath your bum, inducing a breathy gasp to fall out of you as he lifted you up onto the wooden desk, the two of you disregarding everything that lay upon it. Including handwritten notes from Ben. You felt him smirk against your quivering mouth at the sensual noise that left you, clearly proud at what a panting, desperate mess he'd made you.

As he shuffled you onto the desk, your back knocked over a silver candle holder.

"Careful." You whispered against him, your eyes opening to shoot him a warning glare, though a hint of playfulness was hidden within your lustful voice.

"Shut up." Severus demanded, ultimately silencing you as he forced his mouth on yours, drowning you with his devilish tongue.

Your hands snaked down from the smooth skin of his neck, heading towards his chest, fingers clamping around the edges of his black cloak. Tugging him closer, you laid back on your desk with interlocked lips and Severus gladly obliged, leaning over you, planting a steadying hand beside your head. His other hand caressed your waist in a back-and-forth manner, feeling you, sending your body into a frenzy. Your wet, bruised lips fought against his, noses pressing into each other's cheeks. He pulled another moan from you as he gently brushed his hand against the side of your breast, teasing you.

Before Severus could trace his fingers down your middle, the crack of a branch in the distance ripped the two of you from your intense, sweaty encounter. Immediately, you and Severus pulled away from each other's faces with an audible, wet smooch, the both of you glancing to the source of the noise; breaths still heavy, hands still glued to one another's bodies intimately.

"What was that?" You whispered, fingers tightening around the silky material of his cloak. Instinctively, Severus's hand tensed around you protectively as he let his eyes search the dark; foggy mind racing.

"I don't know," He whispered back, turning back to look at you underneath him after he deemed it safe. You looked ethereal. Your hair was messily splayed-out behind your head, parts of it drooping over the opposite edge of the desk he was leant over. Your cheeks were red and flushed, lips swollen and pink, almost bruised from how harshly Severus had attacked them. After several seconds of admiring his work, he spoke. "Look at you," he hummed, a dangerous smirk painting his face, "what a beautiful mess." He let his eyes rake over your shuddering body, lingering on the red marks that scattered your bare chest. If possible, you blushed harder, your hands reluctantly flying up to fold against you, framing your breasts almost perfectly. Severus bit back a groan. "We should head back, I wouldn't want the others to think Black had had his way with you."

You rolled your eyes at him, a little irked. He'd learned perfectly well how to get under your skin. "What, you don't think I can hold my own against him?"

"Certainly not." Severus answered simply, stepping back from you and offering a hand to help you up. You wanted to protest against his answer, however, you knew he was right. There was no way you could fend off Sirius Black of all wizards. You'd just become another statistic to him. As you took Severus's hand and slipped off of the desk in one swoop, his eyes fell on the notes from Ben that you'd been laid upon. He let out a disapproving hum. You frowned and followed his eyes. Your stomach dropped and your body ran cold at the now slightly damaged notes.

"Shit." You exhaled as you stared down awkwardly at the ripped parchment.

"Shit, indeed." Severus repeated, side-eyeing you with a cocked brow. You glared at him. "Who would have thought, committing adultery with another professor at Hogwarts could be such an interesting feat?" He teased, stepping towards you, intentionally brushing his shoulder against yours.

You swallowed thickly, trying to ignore how close Severus was to you. "It's not like it was serious," You sighed curtly, running a stressed hand through your hair. "I mean, we've only been seeing each other for like, almost... four... months..." You trailed off, your shoulders feeling rather heavy as a strong wave of guilt flooded you. Were you really trying to justify your actions?

"Four months?" Severus sounded impressed.

"...Yes." You replied, avoiding his amused eyes. "You can wipe that smirk off your face right now." You scolded, casting a daring glance his way. For a moment, you admired how he looked - his hair was a little scruffy from where you'd had your hands buried in it, lips partially reddened from how you'd kissed him only moments ago. A hot blush took to your cheeks as you stared at him, your mind reeling back to how he'd grabbed you and pulled you so close against him, like he was scared you'd disappear into thin air.

"We can decide what to do later." Severus stated, slipped his wand from his sleeve and casting Lumos, illuminating the once-darkened greenhouse. "For now, let's return. I'm sure Minerva is wondering where we've disappeared to."

We? Did you hear him correctly?

Before you could question him, he already had his hand pressed against the small of your back, ushering you out of the greenhouse and back towards the castle entrance.

"I've searched the Astronomy Tower and the owlery, sir, but there's nothing there." Filch's decrepid-like voice came from in front of you as Severus escorted you into the Great Hall, his hand falling from your back as you neared Dumbledore and the other staff. You felt a little bummed at the loss of contact, but you didn't exactly want to out yourselves immediately. Speaking of that, you weren't even sure if anything was going to happen between you and Severus, maybe he'd change his mind again like he did last Christmas...

As you glanced around, you noticed every single student was asleep in the Hall, gentle snores slipping from their peaceful faces. You felt a little relieved that they were all safe and sound.

"Yes, the third floor is clear too, sir." Professor Flitwick said to Dumbledore, his beady eyes peering at the old man through his glasses. As the sound of yours and Severus's footsteps began to echo in the large hall, Flitwick turned, staring at the two of you. Clasping his hands together, he watched you and Severus stroll towards him.

"The greenhouses are empty as well, sir." You spoke, offering a polite smile to Flitwick. He happily returned it, averting his attention back to Dumbledore.

"Very good, thank you." Dumbledore acknowledged you with a small smile as you reached him. You stopped just beside Flitwick, your stomach flipping as Severus continued passed you. His addicting scent glided along with him, a pink tinge staining your cheeks as you inhaled. You turned away from Flitwick, afraid he'd notice your poorly-hidden reaction.

Severus was next to speak as he halted himself beside Dumbledore. "And I've done the dungeons, Headmaster, no sign of Black, nor anywhere else in the castle." He said, his deep baritone ruffling your feathers. You cleared your throat, quietly, glancing away from him. You could hardly control yourself right now. That moment in your greenhouse had really messed with your self-control. Severus glanced at you sideways, a tiny smirk picking at his lips. He must have noticed your crumbling composure.

Flitwick eyed the two of you, a perplexed expression crossing his features.

"I didn't really expect him to linger." Dumbledore replied, hooking Severus's attention from you. Flitwick used this moment to slip away to keep a watchful eye over the slumberous students.

"Remarkable feat, don't you think? To enter Hogwarts on one's own... completely undetected?" The Potions Master drawled as he and Dumbledore began to slowly walk forwards. You caught up to them and settled yourself beside Severus, sheepishly glancing up at him, your hands settling in front of your hips. He glimpsed at you, cocking a brow questioningly, a tingling sensation building in your stomach as you stared up at him.

"Quite remarkable, yes." The Headmaster agreed, his hands floating behind his back, subsiding as they intertwined themselves. The three of you continued walking between the rows upon rows of sleeping students, your shoulders brushing against Severus's now and again.

"Any ideas on how he might've managed it?" You asked quietly, your voice curious but concerned. Dumbledore glanced at you with his wise eyes, rather surprised at you. When the older wizard was around, you tended you keep quiet. However, with Severus beside you, a newfound confidence had arisen within you.

"Many. Each as unlikely as the next." He replied, turning back to focus on the path in front of him.

Severus spoke again, his voice rattling you. It felt as if someone had let off a grand show of fireworks in your chest. "You may recall, prior to the start of term I did express concerns about your appointment of Professor Lupin-"

Dumbledore quickly interrupted him, his voice strict and unforgiving. "Not a single professor inside this castle would help Sirius Black to enter it," he said, looking to Severus, "no, I'm quite convinced this castle is safe, and I'm more than willing to send the students back to their houses." You glanced away for a moment, zoning out as you glazed over the large stained window that had the crest of all four houses set within it. Your eyes lingered on Slytherin and Hufflepuff, flicking between them thoughtfully. Could a Slytherin and Hufflepuff truly work together?

As you'd stopped to admire the window, Dumbledore and Severus had continued on forwards. You stood still, your eyes falling onto Severus's tall, black cloaked figure, a deep sigh leaving your nostrils. Was this a good idea? Crossing the line with a colleague? Or was this a recipe for disaster? You wanted it to work out, but you had your doubts. Minerva's words were etched deep into your mind, and they slowly slithered out of the woodworks, chanting in your head tauntingly.

'I'm not sure you're aware of just how far his trauma goes.'

'Save your heart. Severus will only break it.'

'Focus on Benjamin.'

Oh, Merlin, Ben.

What were you going to do about him...? Do you tell him you kissed Severus? Do you just break it off silently? No, he deserves to know. You needed to be an adult and admit to your wrongs, whether it made you look like a sack of shit or not. You'd made your bed, and now you had to lie in it.

Just as you were going to return to Severus's side, a familiar voice called your name.

"Y/N!"

You turned around, your head snapping towards the voice like a bolt of lightning. All colour had drained from your face as your widened eyes became glued onto the one person you did not want to see right now.

Ben jogged towards you, a worried expression twisting his features.

No, please, no, not right now. This could not be happening right now...

talk about perfect timing, hey?

sorry this was such a short chapter!! i wanted to make it longer, but what better than to keep you in suspense? i hope you have partly forgiven me for this chapter... </3

let me know what you thought!! your replies on the previous chapter had me rolling omfg.

daily reminder that i love you all and to make sure you are taking care of yourselves!! thank you all so much for your continued support, it really means a lot to me, and i hope i am doing this story justice, i have- well, had a plan, but it's sort of gone a different way... however, i’m liking it. :) i hope you are too!

Part 11!

taglist:

@a-laufeyson

@emilynissangtr

@livillain00

@meowskii

@nooneeveryonenoone

@vesperbatty

@biggest-simp-eversposts

@881127fara

@freshmoneyalmondathlete

@sonoluvr22

@v3lv3tvampir3

@lashipperrubia

@camilla-black

@acakius

@hiddlestonspassionsackx

@tellatubbies

@mikariell95

@sunshinemink

@m0rtifiedg0th

@spookymicrowave

@sayonara30

@novas-dreamworld

@ms-snape

@captainrogers-19

@once-upon-an-imagine

@setsuna-meiou31

[kokonut3953]

“Go to bed, Goggles!” Insomniac!Varian X Reader

__________________________

Hi, my little marshmallows! Thank you to alchemicalwerewolf for the request! This post was SUPPOSED to go out 3 days ago, on Varian’s birthday, but it’s coming out of March 27 because I’ve been REALLY sick. Like. Im struggling here 😭😭😭…AAAANYWAYS. Let’s go!!

Y/N’s pronouns: They/them

Type: Fluff, angst

Warning: Swear words

DISCLAIMER: I’m not very knowledgeable about insomnia, I might get information wrong.

__________________________

You’re over at your boyfriend’s lab. It’s 2 am as of now and you’re *trying* to get him to go to sleep.

“C’mon, goggles. When was the last time you went to sleep? I’m asking seriously.” Y/N crosses their arms.

“Hmmm…I went to bed three days ago…that’s enough, right?”

“N-No, it’s really not…” Y/N just stares.

“It’s enough for me, sweetie! I’m not even tired!” He yawns.

“V, you’re yawning. Of course you’re tired. You can’t just ignore your needs.”

“Oh please, (nickname)! I’ll be fine, no worries! It’s all worth it for alchemy!” Varian takes a sip of the hot cocoa that Y/N made for him.

“Varian, you know I can’t let you fuck around and find out what happens with no sleep. You’re going to pass out in the daytime. That’s what always happens to me. I know you only sleep like- once a week. And you know I can’t let you do that.”

Varian lets out a small yawn. “Even so, I can almost never go to sleep. I…I just can’t. Even if I could, I can’t yet. Not while my father is still encased.” An angry look is plastered on his face.

“Varian…please, listen to me. I…no matter what you do, I will stand beside you. But I can’t see you push yourself like this. You can work on freeing your dad tomorrow, okay?” Y/N brushes Varian’s hair out of his face. “Please, goggles? Go to bed?”

“Y/N…I-I’m sorry, but I can’t listen to you. I know what’s right. I’m going to free my father, I don’t care how long it’ll take. I’ll sacrifice weeks worth of sleep before I even think of going to bed for 8 hours.”

He mixes up a chemical, before pouring it on the amber…he waits. “C’mon…c-c’mon-please…” Y/N and Varian watch closely. The chemical evaporates, not doing anything. Varian’s body tenses up, before tears roll down his face. He pounds his fist on the amber.

“FUCK! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.” As Varian pounds his fist on the amber, he starts to bleed. Y/N drags him away.

“Goggles! You’re going mad! You’re not yourself right now!” Y/N grabs and hugs him.

“No…no…no no no nonononono…i-it’s not…why didn’t it work? I-I-It was supposed to work. It’s not right. I-It’s not…” Varian just stares at the chemical.

After hyperventilating for a bit, Varian hugs back.

“Y/N…I didn’t want to tell you this, but…I’m scared.”

“Scared?”

“Terrified. What if…what if I never see my father again? What if…he’s stuck here f-for years? The rest of my life, even?” *Varian starts shaking.

Y/N removes their headphones and puts them on Varian. “Varian, I know you’ll see your dad. I know you’ll find a way. You’re so smart. You can do it, I believe in you. But…out of good conscience, I can’t let you do this without going to bed. Please, Varian.”

Varian pauses “W-Will you cuddle me before I sleep?”

Y/N smiles, before kissing his cheek. “Of course I will. I won’t leave you.”

“Then…fine. I’ll go to bed…”

“Good.” Y/N picks up the 5’2 (A/N: I’M NOT JOKING, HE’S 5’2…GOOGLE IT.) boy and leads him to bed. They cuddle him tightly. Kissing his forehead.

Though Varian finds it extremely difficult, he starts drifting off to sleep.

Y/N and Varian fall asleep together. Varian sleeps for the first time in three days.

__________________________

Oooookay! We are done! alchemicalwolf, I hope that was good enough! I haven’t been writing fics for too long, oneshots are a bit tricky to me. I will get better with time!!!!

Soooo everyone, please give me more requests (in either the comments or my ask box) so I can write for you guys and improve my writing! Bye-bye for now, my little marshmallows!

[nats-revival]

Jealous and possessive abby - not in a toxic or abusive way but maybe you guys went to a party and your ex or some random decided to act up and be crazy and start hitting on you when everyone knows you're hers so she starts getting protective and marking her territory - she never blames you for it but she just wants to remind you who you belong to so she feels better with your consent if course and you find it hot asf

𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 | 𝙖. 𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣

pairing: abby anderson x afab!reader

tags: alcohol consumption, mild language, theres a gross man, abby is possessive (per the request), i think that should be everything???, i still stuck at tagging

a/n: was lowkey stuck on this prompt bc i don’t remember the last time i did smth like this but also, i procrastinated like, a lot. tbh i don’t rlly ever proofread anything i write i just post it with a hope and a prayer but wtv! i hope yall enjoy this. 🤍😙😙

bodies filled the house you and abby were currently in. the air smelled like alcohol, sweat, and a mixture of cologne and cheap perfume. this wasn’t particularly your scene, but abby wanted to go since one of her friends were hosting the party. you sorta stood on the wall, nursing a cup of.. something abby mixed for you. she wanted to prepare your drink herself. yknow, cause people are weird and like dropping shit in your drink without your knowledge. the screen of your phone illuminates your features softly under the red and purple LED lights. nobody dared to bother you much because everyone knew you were abbys girl. god, she never shuts up about you! but it’s only because she loves you so much. she also did it because she wanted to make your relationship known, and she’d gladly knock the lights out of anyone who dared to approach you cause she didn’t play that game.

the necklace around your neck had her initial on it. she’d gifted it to you during valentines day last year. it glints a little from the light coming from the screen of your phone. you’d been mid sip when some piss drunk man came stumbling over to you. and suddenly your settings app looked interesting as hell! he stops infront of you with a woozy smile and a flushed face from drinking. lowkey, he was like, really ugly. he’s the kind of guy a girl would only fuck in the dark. “what’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone?” he asked as he looked you up and down with obviously lustful eyes. “ah, im.. actually not alone. im here with someone.” you say as you give him an awkward smile and a chuckle. “i don’t see ‘em. why dontcha come with me? we could go back ‘t my place.. maybe order somethin’ to eat.” you politely decline and give him another awkward smile. while trying to ward this man off, you text abby.

“theres some guy over here flirting w/ me, help!!” you text her while trying as much as possible to ignore the man. he was relentless! he just wouldn’t stop talking and making gross comments. you look up from your phone to find your girlfriend pushing her way to you, through the couples grinding against eachother and making out. she smiles as she approaches you, then wrapping her arm around your shoulders. you lean against her. “so, who’re you?” she asks as she looks at the man, then tossing him an icy glare. “who am i? why should i answer you?” the man had a raised eyebrow and he’d been holding a now empty cup. “well, cause you’re hitting on my girl. so you should probably tell me why you’re doing all this.” her voice was low, raspy and a bit threatening. her possessiveness was dumb attractive, and you surely felt a little hot!!! “hah, this is your girl? she’s outta your league, bro. just give ‘er up. ill treat ‘er soo much better.” the man had become bold. abby didn’t like that. “mm.. nah. she’s fine with me. aren’t you, baby?” she asks as she looks at you. you nod with a small, stupid smile on your face. she presses a kiss on your forehead before she looks back at the man.

her touch had lingered on your skin even when you knew she wasn’t touching you. she sits on one of the chairs with a sigh and you sit next to her. “god, people are so disgusting!” abby said as she lets out an exasperated sigh. she hated when people treated you that way. but you just couldn’t seem to forget that voice she spoke in. the raspiness made this sorta electricity shoot through your veins. she was rambling about something, but you’d began listening when she’d been nearly finished speaking “—that shit wasn’t okay, and nobody should be treating my girl like that. i mean, gosh, some people just really can’t take a hint can they? i was so close to punching him just like id done that other guy but i controlled myself. and, ill just say, it isn’t your fault. i just really don’t like that. you don’t deserve that. not at all.” her voice softens towards the end of her sentence as she places her hand on your thigh gently.

your hand finds itself over hers and you smile at her. “sometimes you gotta punch people for ‘em to understand, yknow?” abby says as she looked at you with the same softened gaze. “abby, no, i will absolutely not be punching anyone… that’s what i have you for. and you hit like, waaaaay harder.” you chuckled. “well, maybe i should show you how to hit real hard.” you shrug, and she smiles at you, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze. “how bout we get outta this shithole?” she suggested with a smile. “oh, yeah. let’s go. im literally starving!” the both of you nod as you begin walking off the porch. as you walk to the sidewalk, the guy from earlier comes running and stumbling out of the house. he was after abby. you noticed and alerted her. “oh shit, we’d better run!” she grabs your hand and the both of you run to her car, giggling and looking back at the man (whos running slow as a snail) and forward at her car.

[shadale-s-safe-space]

I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful

Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.

Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle

You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.

I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.

If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.

And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!

In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.

For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha

Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.

[coinoperatedbird]

*Neil . . . . . . . . oh dis about to get long and unfriendly...

Second of all - jesus.fucking.christ.on.a.crutch.at.christmas.uphill.in.a.god.damn.yeti.lickin.blizzard.... did you get tired of harassing the H.P. RP community and come here looking for attention? wat the actual fuck my guy? fuck off. im not responsible for Neil**'s actions anymore than Pablo's responsible for them. so take that entirty and fuck right the fuck off with it. preferably very far and away from me. like...the bottom of the the grand canyon. how you get there is entirely up to you. now...

Ok that that bit of the ugly is out of the way...lets move on to the other part of it.... Third of all-- two hundred years? are you a flat earther too? like i mean on top of being an entire tit stuck to a dick? TWO HUNDRED YEARS? How fucking uncultured you are, dear. Like so uncultured that i'm slightly afraid for those around you with your kind of lack in awareness of knowledge. srsly a two second google search would have shown you this...(please see below)

Now in case you also aren't aware of how centuries work...the 17th century covers from the year 1600-1700. (also a fun fact you could google but im saving you the time aren't i just so nice.) And so like last I checked in with the laws of mathmatics....1700 subtracted from 2024 equals 324. So even if we assume the story of little red cap started there and did not originate from any other earlier tale that's still---124 years more than your 'guess'. which is seriously all i can think of you did. guess i mean. had u done ur research clearly we wouldn't be here regarding that part of your ugly statement.

But let's talk about that for a minute yea?

10th century 900-1000 Little Red Cap was first told as an oral tale.

Taken from Google for ease : (Many scholars believe the story originated as a spoken folktale among European peasants as early as the 10th century.)

Now you might say oh that's vague there's no proof how can you prove it all they did was talk, blah blah blah. Go have a sit down with a literary historian, they're much more equipped to explain that to you in a way you would understand. yes i really just told you to go ask someone else because i can not in fact bring my iq down to ur level to explain it to you. its a flaw. im aware of it. i apologize.

Moving on, lets assume u've now had that nice chat with that extremely more qualified and patient person than my self historian. That out of the way we're heading into the next issue with ur nasty wee words...

the 10th century aka 900-1000 is still quite a bit more than 200 years before the 19th (thats 1800-1900) by around what 800 years give or take? and even further from where we are now which would be...2024 minus lets call it 950 for fairness....that's 1074 years again give or take a little. so what do you think that means? did you work it out? you got it? that's right! the story of little red cap and the big bad wolf is approximatly one thousand and seventy-four years old. good job!

Now i can hear you going 'AH HA GOT U! LUKA WAS CAST OUT IN BC AND HIS STORY DIDNT POP UP UNTIL AD!'

That statement is true. well done. but that literally has jack to do with when or where we think his story first got spoken. We know it was a spoken story because it was passed down for ages in other countries that the grimm brother's never visited and yet those people knew the story without every having heard of the grimm brother's book let alone read it. so explain that. can you? i can. its very simple....

all we know is that's as far as memory went. aka that's as far back as the last story teller said it was. let me try to put it another way that's easier to follow... Story teller #10 (for 10th century) - he tells the story...but where did he get it from? the story teller before him. and where did that story teller get it from? most likely the story teller before her. and while that story teller may not have enjoyed the tale and there fore did not tell it often her replacement perhaps did like the story but never had a chance to tell it to anyone but his replacement. and that one (#10) took his master's grief of never having gotten to tell it and told the story many times over his life.

so what does that tell us? that tells us that the story of little red cap and the big bad wolf COULD REALLY HAVE originated hundreds of years prior maybe even thousands. We honestly do not know how old oral stories could be because there is no actual way to tell when the story was first woven to pay for a spot by the fire, or perform there duty in the tribe, etc. srsly we don't know. all we can know is however far back human memory goes, and what we find in stone that's survived. that's the only history that's concrete and funny how not even that is because its the victors that write the histories and the victors always put themselves in the best light they can manage.

BUT NOW LETS TALK ABOUT IRELAND AND WOLVES.

Its one of my favorite topics! why? because there's just so many gosh darn wolves in irish mythology and it kinda irritates me how often they're looked over and forgotten. did you know that ireland actually used to HAVE wolves but they were hunted to existion? did you know that? DID YOU?! No? GOOGLE IT.

Now a super COOL thing about wolves and ireland...(see below)

yea they were actually seen as GOOD things back then. do you have any idea how loved Luka would have been back in the day? just seeing him was a sign of blessing. his pawprints left in the mud under ur window sill a sign of great fortune because he accepted ur gift. do you really not understand just how far he fell? he was the favored servant of a favored and feared GODDESS u uncultured swine. bright and beautiful and terrible. and he was twisted into this half life creature with no end and only the dark that hears him all because of a fucking MISTAKE. because immortal servant or not he'd been human once...and humans error. Fourth and final - - "2 dimensional half assed villain"

you've clearly not read a shred of anything regarding Luka and his background or read a single one of his rps, at all. how do i know? because my rp partners wouldnt lie to me. they've protected me from liars before and fuck u very much but im gonna trust them over ur greyed out glassy douche bagged ass.

The Big Bad Wolf as I protray him in my own mythological universe is not a fucking villain. he is not a fucking hero either. he's fucking tired is what he is. and so am i. so fuck off and fuck you.

TL;DR : let me utterly frank...this hill is not a hill i will die on. this hill is a hill i will slay everyone else on. period. Luka is MINE. i made him. i fashioned him as i saw fit. and he will use the fc i fucking decide to use. i dont give a shit what your opinion is. go get help.

tellin' my ass i should be ashamed. bitch u wouldn't know shame if it ran you over with a mack truck. fuck off.

[kirkwall]

work rant so i don’t go insane

alright so for context im a software dev at a company that offers a web application to online store owners that helps automate some stuff among other features. nothing essential just sort of helpful. our founder sold almost all his shares to some fucking investment group that now keeps buying more companies that thematically work with ours to turn this into some big thing they can make even more money with. so i think u kinda get the idea why i fundamentally do not care about this company or the work we do or find it worthwhile. if this company disappeared tomorrow it wouldn’t matter in the slightest. ppl would be mildly inconvenienced for a short adjustment period and then it’d be as if the application never existed. also worth noting that there’s no office, we all work from home, it’s mostly flexible hours and a 30hr work week at full pay so u can also understand why I didn’t just quit at the first sign of unsatisfaction.

another thing for context is that i have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, autism that is only diagnosed unofficially by my psychiatrist/therapist, some sort of problem focusing (not sure if it’s adhd or connected to other health things who knows with this body) and just one physical health issue after another. which means my energy levels are usually at like 50% at most.

now my lack of motivation to spend what little energy i have all on work instead of my actual life, how often i spontaneously get sick and my procrastination due to trouble focusing sometimes leads to me not finishing things on time or handing in half-assed results.

it’s been like this for over a year now but until today no one said anything. and the call today was mostly triggered by two projects i handed over to my supervisor in a half-assed state bc I didn’t get them done well in time before my vacation. but instead of telling me personally and outright he set up this call with him and our team lead. my team lead kept saying how i don’t have any „drive“ (ur right I don’t!) and how it’s on me to communicate faster if im gonna miss a deadline and need help and to find the motivation to „hand in the best possible work I can“ and to stay on top of all technology news that concern our team and make sure my knowledge is up to par.

now the thing is. they’re not really wrong in what they’re saying it’s just that there’s nothing that will ever make me care about this work or motivate me to do it. i will never want to use what little energy i have on work instead of my personal life. i will never be able to comfortably communicate with anyone there. i don’t care how often they say i can say whatever i want to without getting in trouble, i will always still worry about getting in trouble or others thinking im stupid and lazy. i will never care about any of these technology topics or be excited to do this ultimately meaningless job.

but i don’t know how to explain my health issues to them if barely any of it is properly diagnosed. so i don’t know how to make them understand that i can’t give it 100%. this call today was already hell bc I could barely speak full sentences for fear of breaking into sobs and then not being able to stop. i always start crying when i have to talk about my health bc it’s a scary and sensitive topic for me.

i want to quit more than anything. but i have this fundamental issue with all software dev jobs. it is so ultimately meaningless. im not giving back anything worthwhile to other people. if anything it fuels climate change. i would love to get back into biology but lab jobs do not exist here. at all. i don’t have it in me to get another degree. i don’t think my body can handle an exhausting 40hr shift job and doing part time would mean i make so little money that i won’t be able to move out and i really can’t live with my parents much longer without losing my mind. so now im just. stuck. and i feel like if i quit without anything new lined up i will end up in a hole I’ll never get out of. i don’t know what to do.

[starryybugs]

okay i think im mixing both options for the soulmate au

so roier ending up back in federation custody would only be half by choice. he'd want answers, and the federation would offer them, and he'd leave cellbit a note telling him where he was going and that if he wasn't back in at least a day then something went wrong

and then he'd go. and he'd learn the truth, and he'd be stuck because he'd threaten to tell everybody everything, and they can't have that. so they'd keep him in the facility while they debate what to do. because no matter how cruel they've been to him and those he loves, he's still their favorite and wiping his memory would be extremely complicated

if they take away everything including the knowledge that they changed him and it wasn't natural and send him back out, somebody else would notice and remind him and they'd end up right back here. but if they only take away the information he'd just learned, then he'd just come back and demand to know again.

it's days of debating and deciding while roier is kept in his old room, hoping that cellbit got his note and the others are coming.

and about the others, this is where both options are mixed in. cellbit and jaiden never lost trust in him, because they know him. and baghera was kind of the first to realize that even if roier was raised by the federation, that doesn't make him a bad person. (I'll explain more about her if people want)

and though the others start not trusting him with a lot of sensitive information after they find out, they're still cordial with him. he's still roier and he's still their friend, even if he's not who they thought he was. and they've seen how upset he's been at the federation time and time again, and by the time roier goes missing most of them have started to trust him again

so when cellbit demands a meeting at the order and tells everyone that roier went for answers and he's gone and he can barely feel their bond? it only takes a little convincing for them to agree to help rescue him.

it takes a while to plan, because they don't know where he is exactly and they need to be thorough. and cellbit is impatient and worried and running on coffee and maybe a few hours of sleep max, but he knows they need to figure this out properly. (and deep down he knows that they've got more time than they normally would, because he knows the federation favors roier. but he wants him back and safe where he can see him because it's been so long since their connection has been weakened and it's starting to remind him of years he'd rather forget)

but eventually they do get to him, and the federation realizes they fucked up because the majority of the fucking island has shown up at their door demanding roier back. and they're not afraid to fight them to get to him

[surpriserose]

i cant get over how fucking fascist the dark knight rises is which like...i knew going in it would be if only because its based on frank millers the dark knight comics (and also no mans land???) And frank miller is the biggest piece of shit in comics whos not alan moore or garth ennis but christ i think nolan managed to go even more mask off

Okay grain of salt im not the biggest comics guy i just read the good stuff sylvie sends me so im not as knowledgeable about comic stuff but i stay silly anyways im gonna go character by character thats easiest for me

So batmans barely here except to become disabled and then practically heal overnight so very cool point number one 😐 but half of the movie hes stuck in the scary pit prison (because the Lazarus pit is too silly for nolan) with all the arab guys who didnt get whitewashed and its so boring and it sucks and only white people made it out of the pit ever basically who gives a shit it sucks honestly the only reason im mentioning this is because i honestly forgot bane wasnt the main character about an hour in because like? He should be? and ill get to that

Joseph gordon levitt is there and his character has a name and i do just want to call him joseph gordon levitt instead but thats long as fuck and hes robin so im just gonna call him robin even though he sucks ass. the whole point of his character is to be the good cop to gordons bad cop but it doesnt really work because thats a shitty fucking thing you see in media all the time because they always just go for the its just some bad apples approach look at this good apple dont you love apples approach but honestly nolans deepthroating the boot so much its even worse here. and yeah dudes robin but hes like.... nolans oc as robin because thank god i dont want dick in this movie (which would bring the whitewashing count up to 4 characters) or god forbid jason todd but i think its really telling how even robin in this universe has to be a fucking cop instead of like any of the disadvantaged kids bruce actually takes in like yeah this robin is still an orphan but thats way less important to the narrative and to nolan than being a cop.

gordons also barely here and i dont give a shit about him i wish he died i mean i always wish he died because hes a cop he is THE cop in every batman piece of media (except when he was jack the ripper one time or something?) and why even the most benign batman media is copaganda because theyre fucking besties. really i just want to talk about one scene before I get to the bulk of this post bane. late in the fucking almost THREE HOUR LONG MOVIE theres a scene where gordon is rallying the cops and goes to some cops door and hes like "why did you let your wife answer the door dont you know whats going on out there?" as if women are being raped on the streets of gotham which we never even see a fucking hint of??? the actual main issues affecting gotham at the moment are food issues and even thats not a problem because aid is getting in slowly and thats actually how gordon gets MORE FUCKING COPS into the city its insane and im gonna come back to this again with bane but while we're talking about the misogny -

-lets talk about catwoman who just kind of exists doing the catwoman thing of oh im on batmans side but not really and im on banes side but not really and it sucks but lets start with the misogyny before i talk about catwomans spineless centrism. when catwoman is caught by joseph gordon levitt shes taken to prison and the cops specifically point out shes taken to a mens prison (?????) because of the new laws because shes such a risk that a maximum security womens prison cant hold her but a mens prison can because womens prisons are all knitting circles i guess. This is really just an excuse so she can be in the prison that bane stages a prison break on (based) and come back for the climax and also have a hashtag girlboss moment where she does a sexy flip attack against a man threatening to sexually assault her which is just so classy nolan. and i want to fucking point out that this is blackgate prison which in most batman media is ALREADY FUCKING COED this shit was so unnecessary and gross and i just...its still pissing me off obviously so lets get to catwomans shitty fucking robin hood shit and why robin hood narratives are rarely ever radical. yes stealing from the rich and giving to the poor is cool but here and in most narratives its really only cool because its..one person or a small group. A society wide redistribution of wealth? out of the question thats too scary just go back to helping one kid steal an apple lady and hating that bane is literally crashing wall street (based) and breaking into rich peoples homes and bringing them to sentencing trials for crimes against humanity (based). Catwoman will have no part of that thank you and will instead just kind of...hang out until batman gets back.

side note what the fuck is up with the timeline in this movie batman gets his back broken and taken to the pit which is located in....an "ancient part of the world" the batman wiki tells me which holy shit okay the racism continues forever. but batman is not in gotham and again his back is literally BROKEN until it gets healed because he....was hoisted into a standing position with a rope? and idk how long that takes whether its months or a day because the movie seems to suggest both???

okay lets talk about talia al ghul and ras al ghul really quick before i get to based bane. Ill start by saying they're really fucking whitewashed like probably the worst example ive ever seen? Talia (or miranda tate as she's called for most of the movie) is played by a white french actress and Ra's al ghul is played by white irish actor and racist liam neeson. Because the comics are also racist ras al ghul never is really given a clear country of origin besides vaguely arabic slash east asian partially because hes so old but also again the racism but hes certainly not white again...because of the racism. and neither is talia who is only slightly less vaguely chinese and arabic. nolan gives even less of a shit than most batman writers though which is a high bar. talia was so boring and poorly written i barely remember her but they gave her half hearted attempts at environmentalism (incremental and done by begging the rich for everything though of course) before saying oh its actually because she and bane want to blow gotham up with a bomb which...god its all so stupid i honestly forget the bomb shit exists because it makes no sense and seems to have a detonation timer of 24 hours which again is why i literally have no idea what the timeline is. this shit is so stupid and unnecessary except to be the secret reason banes populist revolution of gotham (based) is actually bad but its so fucking tacked on even beyond most reasons why communist characters in media eat a baby to show theyre actually bad and so is communism because communists love neutron bombs.

BANE TIME! I'll also start out by pointing out that bane is whitewashed since hes supposed to be from a fictional south american slash caribbean island prison which......man. He's just tom hardy here though. Lets keep talking about communists eating a baby so theyre bad now. I think this is a trope people associate more with the mcu which is fair the falcon and the winter soldier pulled some shit because of course it did but i think we should consider the dark knight rises as a prime example instead. Not the originator since anti communism didn't start with nolan although i wish i could blame him for that too. Banes list of crimes batman has to stop him for are killing cia agents (based), crashing the stock market which he didn't even kill anyone at (not as based as he could have been), stage a prison break as previously mentioned (based), revealing police corruption (based), forming a militia to govern gotham while theres a transition of power from the rich and the police to the people (based), killing a bunch of cops (based), exploding some of gotham including all but one of the bridges out of the city (really just a strategic decision since hes about to have the american military on his ass and needs to counter that), and blowing up the pittsburgh steelers (extremely based). hey why is this guy the villain again? hey why does gotham have a wall street now why is this such a big deal is it possibly because the occupy wall street protests happened before during and after production of the movie? no that certainly couldnt be the case theres no way nolan would hate peaceful protests and create a movie where god forbid they werent peaceful and cops were instead treated like they treat protestors so we feel bad for them instead of people who are literally sick and tired of their labor being exploited by capitalism for the benefit of the rich. like jesus christ this movie is so blatantly fascist explaining the plot should have anyone going hey wait a minute. and you may say im biased in favor of bane as a communist but jesus christ are you seeing the shit nolan is pulling im being even handed in comparison i mean the fucking climax is batman showing up to rally the cops against bane and the mostly citizens militia of gotham like jesus fucking christ. banes not even a fucking dictator hes literally just some guy in most of the scenes after gotham is taken back by the people hes not even the guy sentencing and killing the rich and the police thats scarecrow! hes just on the sides like everyone else. and while im on scarecrow (jonathan crane hes not called scarecrow in the movie but he is that judge guy) nolan treats it as unreasonable that these are not hearings to determine the guilt of the police and the rich they protect because the people have already determined that theyre guilty but they just fucking are by definition. you dont get rich under capitalism by working hard you get rich by exploiting hundreds of thousands or millions of people out of their labor and livelihoods these people are fucking guilty even if they havent killed anyone with their own hands. but because bane does kill people on screen we're supposed to think hes worse but he only kills rich people and cops and the pittsburgh steelers!!!! like holy shit i hate this fucking movie i hate christopher nolan

[ants-personal]

anyways more lil tidbits about the everymanhornets au

Whenever otherworldly things take place habit is well aware of who or what is happening and honestly he wouldn't help cause its funny but also that means something else gets to torment evan and that's just not allowed tbh so he helps save tim to save evan so he can go back to being the only thing causing misery

Evan does have knowledge of the other anes simply cause of habit which is distressing he knows whatever happened caused some cracks in his pocket of the universe he knows that tims friends are stuck in the ark suffering and his are stuck in candleverse and fairmount he doesn't share this information.

Habit constantly berates tim for being lame and boring such a let down since from what he's understood tim was suppose to be one of slenderman's big players The masked one meant to help good ol slendy trap others in his games a real top dog and instead he gets... this the masky nowhere to be seen even if habit can sense it laying dormant for now

When masky does show up he is aggressive towards evan evan even when he's himself since he can sense habit any parts of tim are not present and at one point he even bludgeons evan to death with a pipe letting habit take back control puppeteering evans corpse pissed off and clawing deep marks in maskies neck

Tim has been over the years been able to suppress masky and really any control slenderman has with the help of his doctor and new meds plus just being away from the center of activity helps to move on keep the good memories block out the bad creating a space in his head to trap masky in

He uses what he learns to try and help evan at the very least stay in control longer and more with habit course its easier when your alter or whatever isn't constantly whispering in your ears or tearing apart your insides to claw himself to the front seat. It's hard to do but works even when whatever building or maze evan tries to trap habit in inside his mind he always finds a way out pissed off

Tim and Evan are more durable then normal people for obvious reasons but evan is the only here that can't actually died (for now :) habit refuses to let him but he does feel every death the pain never dulls blood never tastes any better. Evans not the biggest fan but will do what he needs to to protect Tim and Habit needs him even if tim hates seeing evans dead body being animated by those shiny dead purple eyes. He has new scars and yeah they are badass okay but still sucks cause when evans back he looks like the living dead and acts like it body trying to keep up. Tim tries to ease his suffering cutting the days drive short so evan can lay in an actual bed.

Along the way slender man's influence does start being able to seep back into tims mind dreams hallucinations doing whatever it can to make tim stop helping habits plan using his friends against him in typical fashion blurs and figures on the side of the road that only tim notices sending information that ends up sending them out of the way cause tim was certain it was something important

Tim doesnt know what the hell the rake is but he sure doesn't like it or the way it's trying to literally eat them. (The sequence i have thought out for this part is inspired on the setting and events of one of my fave into the dark movies *Im Just Fucking With You* but instead of a person evan and tim are dealing with the rake running around causing mayhem and death)

Tim does get stuck in something close to ark a space created specific for him to break him down and stop any progress. Its an endless abandoned building there is not exit and any windows show nothing but pure black void the horrible twisted versions of his friends run and attack throughout the halls. Alex nothing more than a feral man spewing nothing but hatred for tim trying to kill him with the same knife used to kill him. Jay screams out for tim but no matter how fast he gets there jay always dies blood pooling asking tim why he wasn't here till alex finds and chases him away cycle repeats. Now brian is a little different aware of what's happening sometimes unable to fight for control and trying to kill tim himself but when the cycle restarts he tries to find a way out for tim. Eventually on one run he runs into a guy he's never seen before sneaking through the halls trying to find Tim himself talking to himself? He doesn't get the chance to ask before he's transported back to his spawn area

Oh yeah this is where Tims mask returns but he's not the one who finds it. Evan does in what looks like an abandoned classroom there's a message on the board and laying on top of the desk is Tims mask. Evan picks it up a lil amazed because he's only seen this thing in videos and cmon its cool unaware that he has triggered a change in Tim masky coming back in full force standing silently in the doorway eyes white traces of static flicker through them. Posture stiff and breathing slow anger rolling off of him in waves at evan for even touching the mask. Evan tries to get to tim and when its not working and hes getting slowly caged in he tries to run to keep the mask away cause its not what tim wants its futile evan is able to fight him off for a bit hiding and running from room to halls dodging masky and corrupted alex and jay before masky catches him and kills him so he can take back what his. Course habit doesn't like masky or being beaten by him even if it was evan so they end up beating eachother and destroying the place main area of the place till brain is able to find open the door evan had come through and helps habit send both him and masky through it landing them back in the small clearing of the quiet forest. Tims back and panics flinging the mask off his face while habit laughs at him and brags how he very much won that fight

Uhh i have like fun ones too but i have more scene thought out then others as you can see the fun ones are like downtime between evan and tim learning to be a sorta found family but not father son and also bonding over how fucked up their lives were and are :p

[broccoliboix5peepeeman]

Midoriya-sensei AU

Chapter 12: Sports Day

I've decided I'm going to officially change updates to the 15th of every month, because I just don't have to time to post twice a month considering the chapters seem to be getting longer (who's fault could that be? ^^') and I don't want to disappoint

Also, I made a POLL regarding a minor side plot, so let me know if you're interested or not!

Part 11 | Ao3 | Part 13

[Sunday 8th October]

Me [1812]: I'm sorry im watching ths news and.erm did you jut use YOUR FIRE???

Me [1813]: Thats so amazing you look great I'm so proud of you!

Me [1814]: I will be screaming to you about this next time I see you but for now I'll just scream over text

Me [1814]: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Shoto-kun 🙏 [1833]: 🔥

***

Izuku, understandably, felt extra excited when he walked into work Monday morning. It had been over a week and not only had Shoto taken what he’d said to heart, but he’d actually started training his fire!

Initially, Izuku had been concerned—Shoto’s replies had been slow and abrupt since their hangout, and Fuyumi had even noticed that he’d been staying back at the agency later than usual—but after his friend’s shift yesterday evening, a phone call had quickly put those worries to rest. It turned out that Shoto had simply spent the past week training his left side; he’d even called for private coaching from Eraserhead and Endeavour, the latter of which was surprising but logical.

‘He’s not a complete bastard wank anymore, and what good is my father if I can’t take advantage of his knowledge?’ He could practically hear the shrug in Shoto’s voice. ‘He was pretty helpful, and Eraser was his usual brutal self. I learnt a lot.’

‘I’m really glad!’ Izuku’s cheeks hurt from smiling. ‘So you’re feeling more confident?’

‘The past week’s been hell, and I still have a lot of catching up to do, but yeah.’ A pause. ‘I feel confident to begin using my… my fire, in the field.’

Izuku honestly couldn’t wait to see Shoto’s growth. He was already so proud of his friend, and he knew his family would be too, especially Rei. It was a huge step—he was going to need to compile a new notebook dedicated solely to Shoto's left side.

He was still grinning about it, even as he walked across the field, setting up the obstacle course for the students.

Part of Izuku was also thankful for the timing, as Shoto's news was what was currently suppressing the anxiety bubbling in his stomach. After all, today was sports day, and while the event was typically one of his favourites in the academic calendar, they were also using it to implement their last minute plan to help Hiru.

They couldn't afford for anything to go wrong.

‘Hey.’ Fuyumi walked over, smiling gently. She’d already finished helping one of the other teachers set up the beanbag toss. ‘How’re you doing?’

‘Ask me again in approximately eight hours.’ He chuckled humorlessly as he lined up the tunnels, before positioning the skipping ropes on the other side. 'I'll be honest, I'm feeling a nervous poop coming.'

'You sound like Natsuo.' She snorted, immediately reaching down to help him with the equipment.

‘I’ll take that as a complement.’ He stuck his tongue out in response. ‘Thanks.’

His lower body grumbled with discomfort and he pulled a face. ‘Once this is finished, I’ll pop over. Just the sacks left after this.’

‘Don’t worry about it, I’ll finish off here.’ Despite her kindness, there was an assertive air to her voice which told Izuku that she wasn’t accepting no for an answer.

That was fine with him.

‘Really? Thank you! You’re the best honestly!’ He immediately dropped everything and ran to the building. Once inside, he beelined for the staff toilets. ‘Thank fuck…’

Once he was finished, Izuku checked his phone to find that it was only a few minutes before the first bell. Luckily, his classroom wasn’t too far. Anxiety still lingered in his body—he suspected it would for the duration of the school day—but it wasn’t overwhelming; he still smiled brightly as he greeted his students and took the register, before leading them to the assembly hall. They had all come to school in their PE kits, so it was rather amusing to see them wearing their usual school shoes instead of their trainers, due to being inside.

Izuku then took his place next to Fuyumi, like clockwork, and the two of them watched the other students filter in.

‘Did you get sorted okay?’

‘Yeah, all good.’ She shrugged. ‘Did you have a good poop?’

‘Y’know, I’m still not sure… but I certainly needed it.’ He answered shamelessly. There wasn’t really a filter between them at this point—they’d seen their students do more horrifying things over the years.

The Head soon began with the usual topics—reminding the faculty about the HQA information session that was coming up in a few weeks—before he eventually brought up the giant elephant in the room.

‘I can practically hear you all vibrating with excitement, even without my quirk, so no point delaying. As you’re aware, today is sports day!' He paused while the students cheered. 'This year, however, we’ve put a special twist on it…’

Usually, grades were kept separate—the two classes competing against each other—but this time, there would be four distinct teams: Lemillion, consisting of classes 2B, 3A and 4B; Dynamite, including classes 2A, 3B and 4B; Shoto, of which Fuyumi’s class, 1B, was a part of, as well as 5B and 6A; and All Might, encompassing the final three classes—Izuku had been fierce in his demand to be put on the latter team. So, while each grade would still go around each activity together as a whole, the allotted points they’d accumulate went to their designated teams.

That meant that Hiru and his antagonists had to rely on each other to win, and the prize was a trophy for each winning class.

The formal reason behind the team set-up was to encourage the different grades to support each other and build a rapport. Hopefully, it might also allow certain individuals to reflect on their differences.

Hopefully.

‘Now that you all have your teams, it’s time for the schedule.’ The Head brought up the next powerpoint side, showing a table. ‘Some of you will notice that your homeroom teacher is running an activity. That is why each grade will walk around together. So, for example, grade one will follow Todoroki-sensei, while Midoriya-sensei runs the obstacle course. Make sense?'

A sea of heads immediately bobbed up and down.

The Head smiled. 'Great! Now, your teacher will also have a copy of the schedule, so there's no need to memorise it…'

There were a few more minutes of technicalities—a few kids clearly becoming impatient—before everyone was finally released. While Fuyumi gathered their students together, Izuku quickly made his way back out to the field, along with a few other teachers. Some parents were already congregating around the activities, eager to support their kids. He smiled in greeting and exchanged pleasantries with a few, but otherwise remained silent as he waited.

He rocked back and forth on his feet, imagining all the different outcomes of the day. Hiru was the fastest runner in his grade—probably the older ones too—due to his quirk. That was why they’d deliberately scheduled the whole school for the relay race at the end of the day. That way, they could set it up so each team could cheer each other on for the final event.

His thoughts were interrupted before he could truly get lost in them, as a flock of children suddenly swarmed the field.

There were five other events, not including the obstacle course and relay. Tug of war was fairly self-explanatory, as was dance; along with the bean bag toss—throw as many beanbags into your team’s basket as possible before the time runs out—and the cavalry battle. Admittedly though, the latter wouldn’t be as impressive as UA’s infamous cavalry battle due to the lack of quirk usage.

The event that was often the most confusing for foreign students was oodama, but that was just because of the name, which was just “giant ball”. Essentially, each team had to carry a giant inflatable ball together to the goal point; if they dropped it, they’d have to start again. Izuku really hoped Hiru had brought along his personalised cover for his quills, otherwise they might have some issues with that one.

‘Namaste, Midoriya-sensei!’

He smiled as the sixth graders surrounded him, all bowing simultaneously. They were the year below his previous homeroom class—when he’d had India for global month—so naturally, they’d all joined in during the legendary “Namaste phase” and made sure not to let it die out entirely.

Indulging them, he put his palms together and bowed.

‘Namaste, bachche! How're you all doing?'

He snorted when they immediately began speaking over each other—clearly excited—and waited until they’d all calmed down before taking them through the usual rules. There would be six races, with roughly ten students per race. Then, the winner of each race would enter the final, and points would be assigned based on their placement.

It wasn’t too difficult considering the sixth graders had already done the course before—with just a few minor changes—but once they’d moved on, his next group was the first graders.

‘Hey, Sensei!’ His students greeted excitedly. ‘We just did our dance routine!’

‘Did you?’ He gasped. ‘How did it go?’

‘It went really well!’ Hana jumped up and down. ‘Our parents all watched as well, which was super fun! Okaasan took pictures!’

‘We didn’t win though.’ Haku pouted, crossing his arms as class B joined them.

‘It was really close!’ Fuyumi tried to placate. ‘You were all really good! Like professional dancers!’

‘Like Pinky?’ Izuku offered, knowing his students would appreciate the comparison. When Fuyumi quickly agreed, they brightened up significantly, and he explained the rules.

It ended up being a close one, but after the first set of races, the finalists were decided: four from class B and two from A. Luckily though, Hiru and Touta managed to bag the top two spots, bringing the scores to a tie as they went off to the next activity. Izuku waved farewell as he quickly prepared everything for the second graders.

By the time lunch came around and the scores were tallied, team All Might were in joint second with Dynamight, while team Shoto was in the lead. It was pretty close, which was to be expected—especially to build suspense and competition—but it still made Izuku nervous.

His leg was twitching.

'Stop overthinking.' Fuyumi nudged him from where they were sitting: a picnic bench in the playground, as the children played around them. 'We've set everything in motion, it's up to the kids now.'

'I know.' He sighed, exasperated. 'But I'm a worrier!'

'And I'm not?' She scoffed with a laugh. 'Come on. There's nothing else you can do for now.'

'Only because I haven't thought of something yet.' He argued weakly.

Maybe there was some way he could figure out a plan to have the different grades work together, or set up an ethical way to jeopardise-

‘Nope. Not going there.' Fuyumi interjected, before slurping up more noodles. He must've been staring at his bento for too long and mumbling out loud. 'Tell you what, I'll change the subject. How was your weekend?’

Not even subtle… but Izuku chose to take the bait. Worrying made his stomach hurt.

‘Pretty uneventful…’ He shrugged, using his chopsticks to move his food around. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't quite keep the smile from his face as his mind recalled a certain hero. ‘Y’know, other than the obvious. You?’

‘Yeah, I was pretty much the same.’ She laughed halfheartedly. 'You really must be nervous for Hiru, considering you haven't even brought up Shoto until now, and that was with some prompting.'

'I've just not had the time to properly gush about it.' He placed a hand over his chest, then eyed his friend cautiously. 'Plus, I wanted to check first: how're you feeling about it?'

She flashed him a grateful smile, then shook her head affectionately.

'It's… I'm feeling hopeful, I think.' She pursed her lips, pondering. ‘It was just… surprising, to say the least. As you know, we were all concerned about him the past week, but then, before he went to work yesterday, he told us to keep an eye on the news and promised that it was nothing bad…' Her tone turned sarcastic. 'That didn't worry us at all.’

‘Of course.’

‘So we kept the tv on during dinner, then all of a sudden, okaasan called my name, and I rushed in, and on the screen was Shoto using his fire to catch a villain, like some kind of fever dream!’

She hesitated then; Izuku tilted his head to the side.

‘Was that good or bad?’

‘Oh, definitely good!’ She was quick to clarify, then looked down at her noodles in thought. ‘We just… never expected it. Shoto had always been so against using it in combat. Something must’ve happened.’

She paused and slowly looked up to meet Izuku’s eyes. ‘Hang on.’

He chuckled nervously.

Her eyes narrowed. ‘You never said what your argument was about when you hung out at the house, just that you disagreed on something. Come on, spill.’

As she looked at him expectantly, Izuku tapped his index fingers together and bounced his legs under the table.

‘He kinda… told me about why he didn’t use his fire, so I kinda… to sum it up, basically called him immature and explained why he was being dumb.’

‘Izuku!’

‘I know, it was stupid, I don’t know what I was doing. I guess I was just…’ He faltered. His phone buzzed in his pocket, but he ignored it. 'I was just…'

‘Being your usual self.’ Fuyumi eventually finished for him, causing him to look at her quizzically. ‘He’s needed telling for years, but he’s stubborn and all of us were afraid of the consequences. Our family’s been through so much, we didn’t want to risk breaking it again.’

She sighed. ‘After everything that happened, I think he’d resigned himself to not using his left side… because otherwise he’d have to admit to not “giving it his all” against Touya. He didn't "try hard enough" to save him, if that makes sense?’

‘I didn’t think about that.’ Izuku murmured, guilt immediately washing over him as he slapped his forehead. ‘Of course he feels responsible for what happened, and I was so insensitive.’

He groaned, twitching as he recalled the argument. He made several more little noises of annoyance and shook his head. Fuck, it’s a wonder he doesn’t hate me…

Fuyumi regarded him carefully, chewing the inside of her cheek. She was used to his stimming by now, so didn't mention it, which he was thankful for.

‘I don’t know what you said specifically.’ She began slowly. ‘But whatever it was… it worked, so don’t beat yourself up too much like I know you’re currently doing.’

‘You know me too well.’ Izuku snorted. 'Gahhh, I just… he looked so sad and angry.'

‘He’s been sad and angry for a while, but he used to be worse.’ She conceded, but her tone wasn't accusatory. ‘Therapy has done most of the work to get him where he is today, but he’s always been so adamant about his fire… until now. You don’t need to feel bad for telling him what he needed to hear, promise.’

Izuku tightened his lips and searched her expression.

‘Are you really sure?’

She snorted.

‘If Shoto hated you, you’d know it by now.’ She told him simply. ‘Has he messaged you today?’

Izuku paused.

‘Well, yeah... He wanted to wish me luck.’

‘See?’

‘All right, all right, fine.’ Izuku smiled despite himself, as he took his phone out of his pocket. ‘It was really thoughtful-’

He paused when he realised Shoto had actually messaged him a few minutes ago.

‘Yeah, he fretted over the wording for ten minutes this morning.’ Fuyumi divulged—Izuku doubted her brother wanted him to know that little bit of information—before taking a sip from her drink. ‘So you’ve got nothing to worry about… and I know that smile, you’re looking at his messages, aren’t you?’

‘Hush.’ He stuck his tongue out, but before he could unlock his phone, one of his students suddenly appeared at his side. ‘Oh, hello, Nagisa-chan.’

‘Hi.’ She swung her arms out. ‘What happens when you die?’

Fuyumi choked on her drink, while Izuku just took a moment to process the question.

‘Erm… me specifically, or just people?’ Despite asking for clarification, the answer would remain the same: he didn’t have a clue.

‘Well, is it different for you?’ She tilted her head to the side.

Point taken.

‘I’ll be honest, Nagisa-chan, I’m not sure.’ He admitted. ‘That’s the thing about dying… you can’t really come back and let everyone know what happens.’

‘What about people who die and then they come back to life with the electric oven gloves.’

Izuku’s left eye twitched.

‘You mean a defibrillator?’ He asked, slowly.

‘I like my name better.’

‘Yeah, me too.’ Fuyumi chipped in.

Izuku hoped the name comment would distract her from the question, but alas, Nagisa continued to stare at him expectantly.

‘Er… well, I guess if they’re brought back to life, they couldn’t have been truly dead?’

‘Even Jesus?’

‘Do you… believe in Jesus?’

‘Not really.’ She sighed, looking over at where some students were playing hopscotch. ‘So what DOES happen when you die?’

Izuku bit his lip to prevent any muttering—he could go to various lengths about different religions and their beliefs, along with potential theories—but figured no one would appreciate that.

‘What do you think happens?’ He asked instead.

‘Hmmm.’ She placed a contemplative hand on her chin. ‘Probably… if you’re a good person, you turn into a dog or maybe a butterfly, but if you’re bad, you turn into… a wasp.’

‘A wasp?’

‘Yeah. No one likes wasps.’

‘What about good people who don’t like dogs?’ Fuyumi asked.

‘I guess… then maybe you turn into your favourite animal if you’re good.’ She twirled some of her hair around her finger. ‘And if you’re bad, you turn into something you don’t like.’

‘I can get behind that.’ Izuku agreed, then finally asked what had been on his mind since the start of the interaction. ‘What made you ask the question?’

‘My goldfish died last night.’ Nagisa pouted. ‘Okaasan flushed Floella down the toilet.’

‘That’s sad.’ Izuku frowned.

‘Yes, very.’ She put the hair she was playing with in her mouth and started chewing. ‘Anyway, see you later, sensei.’

Before he could say anything else, she sprinted off to join those playing hopscotch.

‘That was lovely.’ Fuyumi commented, as the two of them watched her go.

‘I think I have whiplash.’ Izuku deadpanned, before finally looking at his phone.

Shoto-kun 🙏 [1239]: Hope it’s going well

Me [1250]: So far so good! How’s work?

Shoto-kun 🙏 [1251]: On my lunch now, so can’t complain

‘Mei-chan, don’t you dare put that worm in your mouth!’ Fuyumi suddenly shouted, before bolting off towards the aforementioned student. ‘It’s every other day with this girl.’

Izuku snorted, then scanned the playground. The rest of the children seemed to be enjoying themselves, whilst most parents chatted with each other around the many picnic benches; some families stayed together, but nothing out of the ordinary.

Me [1253]: Same… 7 more minutes left tho

Shoto-kun 🙏 [1254]: That’s rough buddy

Shoto-kun 🙏 [1254]: What time do you get off?

Izuku furrowed his eyebrows.

‘Have you finished your lunch?’ Fuyumi was suddenly at his side, a little out of breath. When he nodded, she scooped up his container. ‘No problem, I’ll pop these back in the staffroom while you chat up my brother.’

‘I am not-’ He faltered when she quickly sped away out of earshot, then grumbled as he turned back to his phone. ‘I wish.’

Me [1255]: The school day finishes at 3 15 but I won’t be leaving till half past. Why?

He tapped the edge of his phone as he waited for a reply, periodically monitoring the students.

Shoto-kun 🙏 [1257]: Just wondering for when Fuyumi comes home

Izuku tried not to feel disappointed with the answer.

Me [1258]: Fair enough. Anyway, I gotta start rounding up the kids. Speak to you soon!

He quickly put his phone in his pocket and got to his feet.

Once everyone was organised and lunch was officially over, Izuku left the first graders with Fuyumi and jogged back over to the obstacle course, anticipating the fourth graders. In truth, he handled them relatively easily. They were especially boisterous, but the rowdiness didn't manifest into disobedience, and the parents watching from the sidelines cheered them on in good sport.

It wasn't until they left and grade five appeared that Izuku felt anxiety return. He tried not to let it show as he explained the rules to the students, who seemed particularly riled up, as teams All Might and Shoto were currently tying for first place.

'Ugh, I hope those annoying first graders don't ruin it for us!' One rolled his eyes, while his friend groaned with frustration.

'I bet they do! They're so useless!' Hiru hadn't provided him with names, but Izuku knew enough to suspect who the bullies were. 'Especially that mutant porcupine-'

'Have you got something you want to share with everyone?' Izuku interrupted, stern. When the rest of the grade turned to share at the duo, embarrassment flooded their cheeks and they shook their heads. Izuku tried not to pay attention to the way some parents turned to whisper to one another and even point at him. 'Well then, I hope you were discussing the rules, because it’s time to split into teams.'

His smile returned as he continued on with the event. However, his eyes did occasionally scan certain individuals for longer than he usually would.

'Is that him?' He'd hear some of the adults whisper. 'The Quirkless one?'

He'd heard similar questions and hushed comments throughout the day—not all malicious, mainly curious—but right now, Izuku was struggling to ignore them. Maybe it was because there were parents among them who were overtly and dangerously quirkist. Realistically, he knew that he was safe and that he was doing his job to the best of his ability, but he still felt like he was under the spotlight; if he fucked anything up in front of them, then he was setting a bad example for his fellow HQ community.

Luckily, whispers aside, the remaining forty five minutes passed without any incidents, and Izuku exhaled with relief once he was left to pack everything away while the students and parents made their way to the athletics track. It was only a brief interlude—it was easier putting everything away compared to setting it all up this morning—but he welcomed it all the same. It gave him a chance to briefly recharge and gather his bearings.

Once everything was sorted, he—along with a few other teachers who had also been on clean-up duty—jogged over to join the rest of the school. It was loud, many voices cheering and whooping. From the look and sound of it, the third graders were competing, which meant that there were only two more races left.

He hadn't missed the final then.

Izuku spotted the first graders sitting together with Fuyumi, and smiled as he strode over

'How's it going?' He nudged her gently and joined her on the grass, leaning back on his ankles. He tried not to alert the students of his presence so they could enjoy the race. 'Miss anything?'

'Your initial predictions were right, as usual.' She crossed her arms and nodded towards the blackboard by the finish line. 'If team Lemillion win, which looks like it's about to happen, then no matter how team Dynamight do in the grade two race, they still won't be higher than third. That puts our kids competing for the overall first place in the final round.'

'Seriously?' His eyes widened. 'I never expected it to go that smoothly, especially considering I don't know the other grades as well as ours.'

'Yeah, but I distinctly remember walking into your classroom after school to snap you out of your three hour strategizing session because housekeeping was about to kick you out.' Fuyumi shrugged. 'Once you get fixated on something, that's it, so I was pretty confident with what you'd come up with... even if it requires me having to console my poor students after their inevitable defeat.'

'Look, it's not my fault the fastest first grader is in my class.' Izuku grinned when Fuyumi mock sneered at him. 'I just hope it's worth it.'

His friend hummed, but didn't comment further, as the race came to an end. As expected, team Lemillion won—which meant both teams were out of the running for first—but that didn't prevent the second graders from giving it their absolute all in their race for third place. While that was going on though, Izuku tapped his class's four candidates on the shoulder.

'Hey, sensei!' Hana and Tomoyo both exclaimed, while Hiru waved.

'Are you here to escort us to the start line?' Touta asked, straight to the point.

'You bet I am!' He smiled, gesturing for them to get up. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Fuyumi do the same with her students. 'Are you ready?'

'Yes!' They jumped up.

'Do your best!' Haku called out, prompting the rest of the class to shout their good luck.

'I believe in you!' Nozomi pumped her fist. 'Show them what you're made of, Hiru!'

'Gotta go fast!' The aforementioned giggled, as they made their way around the course.

Instead of the typical 400m relay, they had painted a track half the size; therefore, to run a full lap, each student participating would run 50m. It was the ideal size, as it meant everyone had enough space to spectate, including the parents.

By the time they made it to the starting line, the penultimate race concluded, as teams Dynamight and Lemillion shouted accordingly—the cheers outweighing the groans of the losing team. Izuku wasn't quite sure who had won, until he heard Tomoyo inform Touta that Lemiilion had made a last minute comeback and had beat Dynamight by one point.

'Alright, everyone!' The Head announced through a loudspeaker; Izuku winced at the volume. 'Has everyone enjoyed today?' He paused as the field filled with whoops and excited "yeah"s, before continuing. 'It's time for our final race of the day and the battle for first place! Show some support for the first graders!'

Amongst the noise, the students got into position and the first runners were given their baton.

'I was telling the others about how you can start running before your partner gets to you.' Touta informed Izuku. 'That way, there's no stopping, which could slow the race down, but I also told them not to start running too early. Don't worry, we practised yesterday during playtime!'

'Is that so?' Izuku nodded in understanding. 'How did that go?'

'Very well! I'm confident we'll win!' Touta nodded firmly, before getting on the ground into the proper position, unlike the other student, who was just standing normally and side-eyeing him.

Izuku quickly stepped to the side and gave a thumbs up. Anticipation set in as the Head counted them down, and suddenly they were running. Touta—ever idolising Ingenium—had an intense look of concentration as he hand chopped with each stride; somehow not losing the baton.

True to his word, Tomoyo started running as he came closer—not too fast and with her arm stuck out ready—and the transition was fairly smooth. Despite Touta's start, the race was still neck and neck; the class B girl running against Tomoyo was very fast—Izuku could feel Fuyumi’s smirk from here—so they quickly took the lead. His heart almost burst as Tomoyo’s face went red in her attempt to frantically catch up, but it was no use.

It wasn’t over yet though. Once the baton went to Hana, they were able to make back some of the gap. By this point, everyone was cheering and shouting—Izuku included, whilst trying not to let the desperation show in his voice—hoping for victory. Hana did well to pick up their pace, and once Hiru started running, nothing could stop him; he easily overtook his opponent and sprinted towards the finish line. His quills shook where his sports shirt had been modified, his nose bounced with each step, but his face was determined, focusing only on one goal.

Izuku looked around him, searching everyone else’s expressions. Most were watching with amazement, others with delight, whilst those on team Shoto were clutching their heads in anguish. When his eyes scanned over the fifth graders from earlier, he was glad to see them staring at Hiru with wide eyes; their mouths agape with shock. That was progress, at least, and when Hiru crossed the finish line—an easy victory—they punched their fists in the air and cheered with everyone else.

Izuku let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and turned back to Hiru—who was being crowded by the rest of class A—and joined them in their congratulations, making sure to commend the other runners as well. The background noise all mingled into one, so once he'd said his piece, Izuku made his way back to Fuyumi, a smile on his face…

Until he passed the adults.

'To let a mutant participate in this event is ridiculous.' He overheard one of the parents complain. 'They clearly have an unfair advantage.'

‘Exactly! That’s what I’ve been saying for the past three years!’ Another chimed in. 'They should have their own category or something, especially when the normal kids aren't allowed to use their quirks.'

Izuku's jaw tightened and he turned.

'Excuse my intrusion.' His heart pounded against his chest. What was he doing? 'But I hardly think a children's sports day warrants any extra categories based purely on physical attributes—we don’t split the beanbag toss up depending on height, after all. Plus, one member of class B's relay team also had a heteromorph quirk, so I don't think there was any "unfair" advantage.'

'Of course you would think that.' The first parent rolled her eyes. 'Everyone has an advantage over someone quirkless, so it's all the same to you.'

Wow, no hesitation there.

That stung, but Izuku wasn't about to submit.

'I have a joint-honours degree in both teaching and quirk studies, with a postgraduate specialisation in the development of quirks.' He replied, easily. 'So I don't think you can just write me off as not knowing what I'm talking about simply because I'm quirkless, which is a prejudiced argument if I've ever heard one.'

'Well if you're so smart, then you should know about how these genetic mutations are illnesses-'

'Illnesses?' He couldn't help but scoff. 'Do you believe everything Speak Out tell you? Do you know the studies they cite are super dodgy and often anecdotal?'

'That's because the scientists doing peer reviews are politically motivated.'

'No, it's because the studies' methods are shi- rubbish, and the word "illness" is thrown around too liberally.' Izuku remained steadfast. Luckily, they hadn't attracted a crowd yet, but he could tell some of the other parents were looking at them. 'Anyone with critical thinking knows that.'

'Are you saying I have no critical thinking?'

'Well, if the shoe f-'

'Midoriya-sensei.' Fuyumi suddenly appeared at his side, her smile placating. 'Why don't you let me take over? Kimura-san and Shimizu-san’s children are in my class. I'll meet you in the staffroom.'

She looked at him deliberately, but Izuku didn't retreat straight away. He held her gaze for a few seconds first, clearly not happy about the situation.

'Alright.'

Casting the parents one final glance, he took his leave. As he made his way through the crowd though, he clenched his fists tightly and bit the inside of his cheek to prevent any angry muttering.

It's always one step forward, two fucking steps back.

***

'So, you told me to ask again in eight hours.' Fuyumi said as they walked out of the school building. 'How're you doing?'

Izuku sighed, kicking a small stone.

'At least the kids are acting in a friendly way.' He tried to focus on the positives. 'Those fifth graders even called Hiru cool.'

'Yes… But that's not what's on your mind.' Fuyumi stated pointedly. 'It's that conversation with the parents that would’ve escalated if I hadn’t intervened.'

Izuku chuckled humorlessly, still staring at the ground.

'You got me.' He conceded, spreading his palms in surrender. 'It was just so frustrating.'

'I know.' Fuyumi waved at the school caretaker over by the bins, prompting Izuku to also wave politely. 'I wasn't able to talk much sense into them after you left, I'll be honest, but I pointed them to the information session we'll be hosting—they said they'll be there.'

'Yay.'

'You stop that now.' She swatted him without any real malice. 'You were the one who…'

Izuku turned to look at her when she trailed off, only to find her staring at the school gate, mouth agape. Confused, he followed her gaze and baulked when he saw red and white hair.

'Shoto-kun?'

The aforementioned was leant against the wall, still in his hero costume, and scrolling through his phone. When he noticed them approaching, however, he pocketed the device and nodded in greeting.

'What a lovely surprise.' Fuyumi sounded almost amused. 'What brings you to this side of the world?'

'Midoriya told me what time you'd both be finishing, so I thought I'd walk home with you.' Shoto answered easily, like this was perfectly normal behaviour. 'I figured if he was going to scream at me, may as well do it in front of an audience.'

'Scream?' Izuku took a moment to process what he meant. 'Ooooh, the texts. I said I'd scream at him next time I saw him because he used his fire… Good screaming.'

'I was beginning to worry.' Fuyumi snorted. 'Good idea. Izuku could definitely do to let off some steam with a distraction.'

Shoto's expression immediately shifted into concern.

'That bad?'

Izuku sighed.

'I'll tell you about it later, but for now…' He paused for dramatic effect. 'Tell me everything about your fire!'

By the time they parted ways—the Todorokis turning left at the crossroads and Izuku going straight on—he couldn't deny he was definitely in a better mood than he had been an hour ago.

[go-to-the-mirror]

ATTENTION ATTENTION

IF YOU GET NOTHING ELSE OUT OF THIS POST AND SCROLL AWAY WITHOUT READING THE READ MORE OR APPRECIATING MY WINNING HUMOUR PLEASE JUST. PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO THE SECOND OUTLIERS TRAILER. ITS SO FUCKING LIKE- "HE GRIPS MY ARM WITH A STRENGTH I SHOULD NOT HAVE THOUGHT POSSIBLE AND BEGINS TO TELL ME ABOUT THE STARS" WHO LET JONNY BE THIS GOOD AT VOICE ACTING HHH

That out the way, welcome to 154, aka the episode in which jon and martin say fuck! And jonny does a great job with the voice acting here bc of course he does he's like a fantastic actor and writer or SOMETHING. gosh.

i swear the rest of this is gonna be really tma related, but i heard that trailer today and cant stop thinking about it.

without further ado, @a-mag-a-day, it's TIME for the episode that LEFT US ALL IN SHAMBLES!!

(this is all rambling, my words are not the grand words of episode 152)

Shout out to patreon "Jess?", their name gave me a sensible chuckle.

(sigh) Hm. (sharp inhale) I’ve, uh, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking after what happened with Daisy last week. About- what I can do. What I am. What feels right.

Immediately puts me in mind of

MARTIN I’m sorry. That sounds… (small sigh) That sounds horrible. ARCHIVIST I wish it was, Martin. I really wish it was. But it feels… right.

(MAG 160.11)

Hm.

There was one, this one, that my hand…. pulled back from. I dropped it, twice, when I went to pick it up. Even now, I’m… (slight quaver to his voice) struggling to hit play.

Ok, like, his voice puts me in mind of this line

I don’t like this. I don’t like not being sure what’s going to be in my mind, what thoughts are mine and what are from… elsewhere, why I just know some statements are what I should be reading.

(MAG 129)

And how like, yeah, if you think about it, that must be really like... there's something else in your head, pushing unwanted "awful knowledge" in it, altering your perceptions, your wants and needs, yourself in a fundamental and unchangeable way, like. UHM. THAT'S TERRIFYING.

God, why's Jonny such a good voice actor? The way he does Jon's... sort of about to laugh in a very bad way voice? That's just fantastic.

I am the avatar of awful knowledge and revealed secrets, so what does it not want me to know?

EATING YOUR PROSTHETIC MEET YOUR ANESTHETIC-

No, but there's this fantastic edit by instagram user archxvist that I listened to before I got to MAG 154, and it's that line, and I/Me/Myself and it's so coool you want to follow her and listen to it (it's pinned on her profile) don't youuuuu

(also it puts me in mind of this line)

ARCHIVIST Healthy? I am an Avatar of voyeuristic terror, who unquestioned craving for knowledge has condemned the entire world to an eternity of torment; healthy i-isn’t- i,it’s not

(MAG 161)

Which 1. HHHHH JON D: ANJSDFDHVD HHHHNHRHHNRNHNHR and 2. is a line that gets stuck in my head all the time and as you can see from point 1... it's not a great time. :( im so sad about him

"When he opened his eyes, he saw nothing, but he heard her breathing, slow and steady and focused, and he immediately knew that she was finally going to- (slight stumble) -kill him. When the garden shears plunged into his chest, he was surprised by how little actual pain there was- just the sudden feeling of moisture on his chest and the realization that his body was growing weak, fading away. He wished she would say she was sorry she was doing this, that she loved him, that she would miss him. But he knew better, and his final thought was a gentle sadness at how little he was surprised."

Lots of things! First of all, Getrude's little stumble is just like :(. She may have been less of a care about people person, and more of a care about the fate of the world person - and doesn't that ache, to know that all those deaths were for nothing - but she was still upset to know that he died. She was still upset when she read his page. And I'm upset about that in turn.

Secondly, why are their deaths so sad, Gerry and Eric's. Like, I just, was this necessary? Yes, yes it was, I'm glad it's like this, it doesn't make me any less sad at that... poor guy, poor Eric. Fuck you, Mary Keay.

GERTRUDE Yes. Well. I’m sorry. ERIC Wasn’t even hard for her, was it? Handing me over? No sign of regret. GERTRUDE (Still a bit shaky) No. ERIC No. GERTRUDE I’m sorry, Eric; I know this must be hard- I just read your death. I didn’t realize it had been quite so…

:(, poor guy.

ERIC God, I was a mess. I mean, part of me kind of suspected she’d killed before, but clearly she hadn’t done it enough to be a decent hand at chopping up and dumping bodies. She was having a real bad time of it. My legs were all over the shop. (Long inhale) Would probably have been funny, if it hadn’t been me.

I like him, he's funny, also jesus christ, mary why the fuck? Just to be evil? Fuck her.

ERIC I don’t know how to describe it. Never was great with words. Bad. It feels bad. All the time. I know that I’m not really Eric. I’m just a memory someone wrote down. It hurts, most of the time. I don’t like it.

"It feels bad."

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's sort of funny. Also interesting, I never really... paid attention to the statement/Gertrude part of this episode, and I mean it's interesting, I didn't know they weren't them. Makes sense, I suppose.

ERIC You too. (beat) You got old. GERTRUDE Better than being dead. ERIC (Short sigh of a laugh) Fair enough.

I love their little dynamic, they're friends your honour :3

ERIC S’pose that makes sense. And Gerry? Have you seen my son?

HIS DAD USED TO CALL HIM GERRY!! (starts sobbing)

ERIC Oh, just thinking. Five years as her husband, god knows how many as her possession, and she just couldn’t stand being bound in the same book as me. GERTRUDE Hm. I’m sorry. ERIC Yeah, it doesn’t feel great.

:(

^ that's going to be like half of my reactions

GERTRUDE James? He died about twelve years ago. Elias is Head of the Institute now. ERIC Elias? Elias Bouchard, seriously? GERTRUDE Hm, he’s changed a lot. ERIC Must have!

HAHAHA! THE WAY THEY TALK ABOUT HIM, IT'S SO FUNNY

also uh. huh. you know i still don't get how the people who got elias was jonah magnus before the 158 reveal did it, but this does make it obvious in hindsight.

ERIC Well, that’s it, isn’t it? I suppose that’s why she gave me to you. One final screw you to the Eye. GERTRUDE Eric. How did you quit? (Eric holds back.) GERTRUDE (warning) Eric. ERIC (short laugh) Sorry. I just- (laugh) I don’t mean to be a dick, but- well, it’s been a long time since I’ve had any sort of- leverage, I guess? Just a- little bit of power. It’s kind of nice.

Hm, both :( and I really like him. he's funny.

GERTRUDE I suppose he might be useful.

...

hhhhhhhh

ERIC I don’t want to disappear on her terms. Or yours. I want to speak my piece, have it recorded.

fuck yea dude!

but the mystery, the promise of secret knowledge, of seeing something that no one else was privy to. A secret world that gripped my imagination.

ok, eye guy. fairly eye.

So when I finished my Masters in library science and saw a vacancy at the Magnus Institute, of all places, I jumped at the chance. The chance to pursue my passion and my career at the same time seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up!

THE ONLY GUY THERE WITH A DEGREE IN LIBRARY SCIENCE IS THE ONE THAT QUIT, LOVE HIM FOR THAT, HE ACTUALLY KNEW WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING

(Amused, wistful hm) I knew she didn’t have an uncle. I knew the man was dead.

Good lord. That's... good lord.

She never promised anything, not even in her vows. She never betrayed me. Not like you. She never played dumb when I was stalked by bloated, blood sucking things, or told me I was imagining it when your friend Adelard dropped a screaming box into the Thames. She didn’t try to keep me in the dark just so I wouldn’t stop being useful; she never made me complicit in a thousand nightmares, and lives ruined for the sick joy of some otherworldly voyeur.

Really shitty boss. Really a shitty boss. God, poor guy, poor everyone who worked for her.

And I just... she really had the audacity to kill Emma, with all that blood on her hands?

...

And that’s when you turned nasty, isn’t it? When all your resources, they no longer want to serve your purpose. I suppose you didn’t know there was a way out, a way to escape. But if you had, would you have told me?

Hm

It was fitting, I suppose. Even after everything, she made me taste blood one last time.

headinhands :(

ERIC Then if you don’t mind? I think I’d like to go away now.

hmhnrhr that's just... the way that line is delivered

(The Archivist sighs heavily.) ARCHIVIST Fuck.

INDEED!

MARTIN Look, Peter, I- [The door is thrown open. The Archivist bursts in.] ARCHIVIST Martin! MARTIN (Overlapping) Oh- (quieter) Jon! God, don’t do that!

MAKING A SOUND LIKE A CAT COUGHING UP A HAIRBALL RN NHNHRNHNRR

MARTIN No, it’s fine! I j- you just surprised me, that’s- (surprised) Jesus, you alright? You- You look like hell.

His only description is looking like shit. I love him so much.

ARCHIVIST Oh! Uh, Ri, Right, I um, God, I get weak. Hungry, I guess, sort of. I, I’ve been trying to avoid, being, um- sticking to old statements? Thank you for your little intervention, by the way. MARTIN Look, I wouldn’t have to if you’d hadn’t been- ARCHIVIST (Overlapping) Yes no, I know, I know; I’m sorry; that didn’t come out right; honestly, thank you. It’s been hell, but- I, I did need to hear it.

He stutters so much when he's talking to Martin, dude, get a grip. But also, well, I'm glad, yay! Good for them and stuff. Maybe with the power of heartfelt gratitude and love and stuff they'll gouge their eyes out and elope together? PLEASE!

ARCHIVIST Yeah. But it’s- (heavy inhale) It’s pretty drastic. MARTIN What, you gotta gouge your eyes out, or something? (Beat.) MARTIN (CONT’D) Fuck off.

AHHAHHAAHAHAHHAHHAH THATS JUST SO FUNNY, JUST THE SILENCE LIKE "UH WELL" QAHJDFSHAJDFSHJFJJSF IM SURE IT'LL ALL TURN OUT FINE

right?

ARCHIVIST I, I, I don’t know; I suppose. I, If your vision comes back, the Beholding probably does as well- probably. But i-it’s not like it’s easy to only blind yourself temporarily anyway I-

First thing that popped into my head was that in a nuclear explosion you can go temporarily blind for a couple of hours from the light. Enjoy that factoid, I guess.

ARCHIVIST No, you’re the first. MARTIN Why? ARCHIVIST Uh, because… because, because I trust you. I, I’m trying to think about what to do, and I… (exhale) If I did try this, I- I don’t want to do it alone. But we could leave here, you and me. Escape.

ITS FINE THIS TIME ITS GOING TO TURN OUT FINE, FUCK ITS GONNA BE FINE ITS GONNA BE SO FINE

"because I trust you" "we could leave here, you and me" HHHH

MARTIN I mean, (mirthless laugh) Could you even survive at this stage? Is there anything else keeping you alive? ARCHIVIST Uh, I,I don’t know. I don’t- know. But… maybe it’s worth it? The risk- y,you and me, together, getting out of here- (Martin sniffs.) ARCHIVIST (CONT’D) -one way or another.

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

one way or another

ARCHIVIST Cut the tether. Send them away. Maybe we both die. Probably. But maybe not. (Emotional) Maybe, maybe everything works out, and we end up somewhere else. MARTIN Together? ARCHIVIST (Emotional) One way or another. Together.

(MAG 200, but you already knew that, didn't you)

it's fine. i'm fine. it's fine

[ID: Drawing of a person sitting at a computer, crying. /End ID]

ARCHIVIST But what if you don’t? (Small exhale) We could just leave. I mean, whatever their plan is for me, I am damn sure that doing that isn’t it. I’d derail everything- we could derail everything, and then just- leave!

THEY COULD HAVE! ALEXA PLAY ROLLING IN THE DEEP!

why... why... why...

[ID: CC!GoodTimesWithScar with his head in his hands. /End ID]

MARTIN Who are you kidding, Jon? You’re not going to do any of that. ARCHIVIST I, I, I could. MARTIN (Still brimming with false laughter) But you won’t. That’s why you came to me, isn’t it? (The Archivist exhales.) MARTIN (CONT’D) You know I can’t do it, not now; you don’t want to blind yourself; you don’t want to die; what you want is a reason to not do those things, so- you come to me. Well, you’re welcome. B,Because I can’t follow you on this one.

im literally, literally, in real life, crying. podded cast. why? why?

ARCHIVIST The Lonely’s really got you, hasn’t it? MARTIN You know, I think it always did.

no words, just sadness.

ARCHIVIST (Quiet) Maybe. (beat) Well, I’ll be here, if you ever need me. MARTIN (Also quieter, softer) I hope so. ARCHIVIST (Faster) Just-don’t-wait-too-long, okay? [He moves towards the door, sighs.] ARCHIVIST (CONT’D) If you haven’t already.

"I hope so" wh yherrghweherfv wdaj "just dont wait too long okay" hnhrfthrjhfsdehhhh hhrhnnhhh hhh h but he just they just htey they thyfruscdafsfidvjjfhvdxnj "if you havent already" AAAA just KILL ME it would HURT LESS

Now, let's see what past me had to say, while current me is sad. very sad /ref

It's so funny how despite me thinking it had 200 episodes the magnus archives ended on episode 154 with Jon and [Martin] running away and getting married wow what a plot twist

(Instagram Story. 2 September, 2022)

Jon and Martin are so lovely together and they are together and they all left in episode 154 and they are all happy did you know that? Also no kayaking or.. freaky tables happened and everyone is ok did you know that wow it's so weird how episode 155 is just nothing for 24 minutes ahaha i love the magnus archives what a satisfying and happy ending

(Instagram Story. 2 September, 2022)

Everyone go home the magnus archives is over and martin said yes to what was essentially a weird marriage proposal and they all left. True & real

(Instagram Story. 2 September, 2022)

Obsessed with how this is the happiest ending for them /neg

(Instagram Story. 2 September, 2022)

I'm going to elaborate on this - I'm really upset that this is the happiest plausible ending. There's no escaping, no preventing Tim and Sasha's deaths, and all they had to go through. Their happiest ending is after so much has already happened. After Jon's gone through the wringer, 13 out of 14/15 (yes, 15) marks. After Martin's gone through the wringer, what with Jane Prentiss, and the lonely, and tim and jon dying, and everything. After Tim and Sasha are already dead. This is their happiest ending.

Not okay!!!

DIVERSITY WIN! LOVE WINS HHH

(Instagram Story. 2 September, 2022)

[(about the edit mentioned previously)] Love that this is from the episode where [Jon] proposed to martin (real not fake)

(Instagram Story. 2 September, 2022)

AND ALSO I FOUND THIS IN OLD MESSAGES TO MY LOVELY BOYFRIEND SLASH PLATONIC (follow !!!)

My brain is so rude fr fr I was having a lovely tiem Well no i wa thinking about season 4 jon I was having a wretched time and my brain said "we can make em worse" [...] So the au would go like this: - canon compliant until post-ep 154 - jon think "well if i gouge my eyes out, then martin will know im serious about this" - eye gouging commences - oh lawd he dying (episode 181 fades in ig?) - either becomes one of those archivist things as the eye tries to stop him [or] dies - times get even worse

Messages to @/asideofsalt (@scarandjoelenthusiast). 22 September, 2022.

Also there were some other things said:

Jon said "is anyone going to be self destuctive" and didn't wait for an answer

He had No Friends, he believed he was a monster, he repeatedly said that he can't die because "they need me". No other reason provided. He... thinks he's responsible for everything that went wrong in the world and has to fix everything and is the only one [who] can. He thinks he's the most important worst person in the world. Which is uh.

ok so jon and martin's love language is martin makes tea for jon and jon comes back from his recent kidnapping and worries about martin's well being

Uhm, well, hope you enjoyed that little ramble, god im so abnormal about this podcast. I wish they'd be okay, but actually I don't because I... I'm listening because I wanted to listen to a horror podcast, that is why i am here. so, rip to them. part of me wants them to be okay, part of me is eating popcorn as they... you know, have this whole tragic thing going on :(

[gayspock]

anyways

sorry we're going to really embarrass ourselvestonight see its fucking times like this when i think about being alone for the rest of my life like i really, really fucking think about it and how its not just disgusting loser sobbing and empty fucking nights, fuck me i feel so fucking invisible, but all the fucking time and energy that goes into just being alive thats so fucking hard to sustain by yourself stupid fucking bullshit by yourself already being a very fucking useless human being its not fucking fair that it all fucking compounds makes it all so much fucking harder, and everythings so much fucking harder to fucking do, it takes so much fucking energy to fucking maintain what for fuckinjg what for what fucking purpose i dont fucking know!!! and its so so fucking embarrassing crying about this shit the fucking overwhelming fucking mess around me that i cant fucking manage but theres no one to fucking turn to for anything and therenever will be im stuck with it forever and im going to fucking shoot myself in the fucking head i swear ot fucking god i just fucking sit hereand think about it fucking suffocating me in because whats the fucking alternative i cant do this i cant fucking do this my whole life waking up all your energy fucking sunk into fucking nothing just to fucking keep your fucking stupid, miserable fucking head on your shoulders and theres nothing fucking at the end but more shit fucking screaming at you to be done and its forever its sooo forever cant fucking barely stay afloat by yourself nevermind fucking dig yourself out of whatever fucking hole youre supposedly in even if it was fucking possible to do so and what else is there fucking try today try to fucking do something and it just feels like every time youre fucking punted back 100 feet. over fucking nothing.

i keep trying to fucking better it i do but its just so laughably fucking bad i dont fucking want to fucking sit here and fucking keep swallowing it . i try to fucking keep my head on its really fucking embarrassing it really fucking is but im barely fucking palatable as a fucking person and i know i know i KNOW icant fucking express anything like fucking ACTUALLY say anyhting because im ALREADY so fucking alienated and i feel like im being suffocated but i fucking think about how im a fucking rotted cunt and nothing but and i cant fucking fix any of it i cant fucking do it i dont fucking have enough in me im not enough as a person i do not fucking give a rats ass and i cannot fucking do it and then more shit gets added and its so fucking helpless i and i dont know why i keep fucking forcing myself other than this fucking debilitating fear that if i fuck That up too no matter how much crazy obsessive planning its going to be like everything else whether i try or i dont im going to end up in some fucking hellish purgatory on earth its gonna go wrong and i know i will somehow fuck it up i cant seem to fucking get anything right and again i feel like every time i fucking spiral and spiral its just a fucking joke which is ironically such a fucking self-important thing because like i dont know why im like thinking that people pay that much fucking attention thats the irrational one i know they dont but even still the fucking scraps of acknowledgement the knowledge of what everyonewould fuckuing say of what they have said and i still feel like im being fucking laughed at for being an overdramatic loser whos creating their own fucking problems whos just fucking not listening whos fucking stupid and its really fucking funny its always just a fucking joke and i cant get away from it and i fucking want to punch someones fucking lights out sometimes i really fucking do i wantto hurt someone sometimes because i cant get any other fucking attention and i cant fucking feel anything but fucking intense self loathing and i just want to dig into it further and reallyi really want to fucking run away and be alone somewhere i fucking hate how fucking lonely everything is i fuckinghate it i dont know whats wrong with me or why im never enough to fucking even halfway manage fucking anything i cant find anything that helps i know im not fucking trying UYEAAHH SUREEE IM NOTTRYINGGG i feel like every fucking time i try to give anything a chance i just end up ashamed and hurt and upset and embarrassed no matterhow much fucking grace i afford myself and im so so burnt out and its like ohhhh its fine you dont have to be perfect i jsut want ONE fucking thing to feel good or to last or to mean something and not just feel this sick fucking disgust at myself and upset and this fucking harrowing fucking feeling of rejection and something something always fucking feeling isolated i wish it wasnt so fucking hard to try to fucking handle anyhting i dont understand why its so natural to everyone because even the people who say theyre so fucking alone also!!! :D WE'RE ALLL ALONE!! still have partners or have had close friends and they see people on the daily its been years and years and years i feel like im just fucking trying to cling on and itspathetic and i drag behind fucking everybodyohhh did we remember that cunt exists

PROBABLY NOT right and its not i cant fucking do it i dont want to keep being so desperate all the fucking time it hurts so much more but its jsut so so many fucking months and years just fucking stuck with nothing but yourself because it just doesnt work out ever and i fucking hate myself if i fucking hate being with myself and its like how can i blame anyone else is ANYONE MAD RIGHT NOW i think i need to go fucking try to drown myself in the fucking toilet bowl i need to fucking do something i need to fucking pacify myself thats the only fucking thinjg that makes it stop is just fucking completely disconnecting do it late fucking deal with it later thats it just dont fucking engage with a fucking thing and let the world go by and everyone can leave you even further behind dude yeah fucking excellent IS ANYONE CRAZYYYY

[tonydaddingham]

heh im happy to answer questions!! :D im actually not out to anyone online as muslim and so this is incredibly fun for me to talk about sgjkgh

metatron! now i have to be honest, i had never really heard of metatron till.. couple weeks ago when i watched s2! and it seems that this isn't an uncommon thing too, there's much more description of metatron in jewish literature than islamic, his name isn't mentioned in the quran at all iirc, but given the other similarities in religion i thought to look it up and found that! he exists! but i don't know what the whole.. beyond the veil thing entails, really. 😔 not even sure what this "veil" is. regarding metatron i have basically no knowledge at all. we're all learning here!

but! the free will discussion... oof. honestly this is a big topic. as it should be, but a lot of young muslim kids ask this question of.. if everything is predetermined, how can God judge us for our mistakes? we're told we have autonomy and choice to do what we want (which is what makes us human.) but Allah has also predetermined everything. uh. so [shrug] the analogy that stuck with me most was that if a child is given two options for food by their parent, the parent will know what they are going to pick, but they still have the choice. its flawed like all analogies but it is a good framework i think. there's also the thing about Allah knowing everything that will happen but not actively enforcing it? its definitely confusing. i hope i made any sense at all ;-; again happy to answer any questions if that has raised any but i can't.. promise i'll give good answers sjkfhgh [gestures at these paragraphs]

israfil! well, judgement and resurrection are very closely linked. iirc, israfil is the only being (along with god) to know when the day of judgement will happen. he'll blow the famous trumpet once to end all life on earth except himself, and blow it again to resurrect everyone that has ever lived. nods. the second coming doesn't trigger this, but it does signify the end of days.

i hope that answered everything? sorry this was so long 😭 in my defence . uh. i have no defence. my apologies. but thank you for asking all this!! its rare that ppl show interest in my little special interest <3 - 🌙

hello again 🌙 anon!!!✨ well in that case im very honoured you are sharing this with me, anonymously or not, thank you!! thank you for your follow-up ask too; hope you don't mind that i answer both on this post? keeps everything neat and tidy, especially if i need to refer back to it at any point!!!

i was going to put the rest of this ask under a cut but fuck it the below 2nd ask is SO IMPORTANT.

re: metatron, i did do a little bit of reading on their mention in the quran and it reads that uzair (who is possibly ezra?) is also the metatron...? not a question necessarily, just a mark of slight confusion that i need to look into further, haha!!!

free will: that's such a beautiful analogy... i guess it may not necessarily be a predetermination of only one path, but multiple different ones, and it's our choice which one we choose, even if god knows which one will be chosen. but that god doesn't tell us what will happen when we make that choice, because that would influence our decision, and as you said - either way doesn't enforce it. that i believe crosses over into some catholic thoughts on predestination, im not sure, but either way would strike the balance between god being omniscient, and her creations having free will - making the two compatible.

israfil: brilliant, thank you for clarifying, especially where the second coming might link to the day of judgement!!! follow-up q, i read a bit more about the day, and where (if ive read this right), each person had their book of deeds that supports whether they go to heaven or to hell. sort of related: where does the book of life fit into this in Islam? is each person's deeds reviewed, handed back to them in whichever appropriate hand, and they are then scratched from the BOL?

stars: that's... that's not brainrot talking, that's bloody ✨illumination!!!✨ wow!!! even if the star shower scene was before demons existed, the suggestion that the shower started after the angel who crowley was (AWCW) began to ask questions - something that firmly foreshadowed the fall - and given that aziraphale was the one to make him start questioning/then hurriedly cautioned him against asking them... the symbology of AWCW not necessarily protecting him from things that chase away demons, but protecting him from being implicated in whatever punishment was to come??? protecting him from the fall??? my GOD, im ASCENDING. oh my god oh my god oh my god

(wait --- going by the above from 🌙 anon, was i potentially somewhat right in this and this??? like obviously not exactly right, but that aziraphale was himself implicated in the fall, and AWCW protected him/defended him? FUCK)