#so i figured i'd just do them all at the same time
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Is it alright if you talk/ramble about your god designs?? :3 I’d love to learn about your thought process about them!!! :D
HI, YES, WILL DO :D!!! Okay, so, fun little thing, athena wont be here because I WILL be redesigning her, but not too much, just to basically match with Zeus a little more [favorite child moment.] For the most part, I basically try to put the branches that stem from the concepts of what they're a god of, like god of thunder and god of the seas, with both Zeus and Poseidon having elements of their environment. With Zeus' cloud hair and fluff, and his thunder like marbling on his skin, and Poseidon's water arms and fish features [the fins and black scales] Zeus' design wasnt as simple to think about as I thought, for the most part I kind of just dont put that much thought into it and think about it AS I go, I try to implement the leaves in other ways like his horns, and the MAIN thought in designing zeus is how much of a drama queen that he was that he'd want to make himself look more different than everyone else, my thoughts are pretty scrambled because i don't exactly know how to explain my thoughts in a linear pattern so im sorry if it cant be understood, basically just had idea after idea WHILE i was making him, his hair basically turns into his tail in the same design that Hermes has, just fluffier, AND his chest is charred/marbled with lightning coming from the center because power is where his heart lies. I wanted him to EMBODY, cockiness, king of gods energy, while also thinking it'd be funny that other than aphrodite he's the one with the most skin shown..just because. Poseidon's design was in similar existence with Zeus, but where Zeus was as big and puffy as his clouds, I wanted poseidon to be as sleek as water, his hair had to be waves that melded into the seas whenever he was in his element, and when he wasnt, his hair would flow to the floor giving the look you usually see in water breathing from demon slayer [image below] His hair flows in the same sense, while keeping its form for the most part.
Hermes! well, he kinda just came to me while I was doodling him, ngl I had to pull out google to figure out what hermes looked like the first time to get more than one idea, and decided that it'd be fun to make him more of a mysterious trickster of a mailman that is alot more threatening than he's let on, giving him a more 'biblically accurate angel' look with all the eyes came from the idea of him being a messenger and being able to go anywhere as quickly as he does, you'd never really know when he was or wasn't watching. I thought I'd just implement that more into his design, ALSO incorporate some spirity ghostly things mostly on his cape, just to make his role of guiding souls a bit more shown :3 APHRODITEEE Was simple, but a really fun thought, as the goddess of beauty and allat I wanted her to basically be as customizable as possible, marbling vitiligo with white hair, a canvas capable of change. She's able to mold herself as whoever you want her to be, and whoever she wants herself to be, but her main look is a dull pink with marbling vitiligo and hair so white you'd get blinded looking at her, I also added a bit to the dove look with her hair, making it look and flow like feathers whenever she moves.
Basically, again, all of my ideas usually stem from the concepts and branches of their titles, and my want to just make them all silly and pretty, i havent designed others yet but I hope this answers it! :D!
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Do I, though?
Oh. I can't wear it. What a surprise.
Hang on, let me check something real quick...
It's been more than five years and SE still can't figure out how to put hats on Viera. Not only that, but it's been five years and they're still making new hats that Viera can't wear. What is this? Laziness? Incompetence? Or is it just too technically difficult to make a hat that Viera can wea—
Oh, okay. Well, the Light-heavy hood I can at least wear, even though it deletes my ears. I guess there's some deep, inherent conflict that makes it impossible to have ears and a hat at the same ti—
Oh! Well, would you look at that. It's the Bozjan Hood of Fending, a hat that not only can Viera wear, but it has ears! So, clearly there's no technical limitation, it can be done. So why don't they?
Why fucking don't you, Yoshi?
This steams my onion on the daily. Viera have been out for five years and they still can't be bothered to make compatible hats for them. It's just laziness, because it's not like it's impossible, it's not like they can't figure it out, there are hats in-game that support ears! And, even better—there are mods that do it for ALL hats!
Yeah, two seconds on Google and I found like four mods that fixes ALL hats for Viera and Hrothgar. Something so impossible and technically challenging that SE hasn't been able to figure out how to do it in five years. The first versions of the mods were around 2021, two years after the races came out—so fans, who do this stuff in their free time, were able to figure out how to do it in two years, while SE, who's in the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest video game credits, can't hire a full-time staffer to take care of it in five years?
What's really unacceptable, however, is when they add new real-money outfits that come with hats that Viera can't wear. They make a brand new outfit, charge real money for it, and then have the absolute gall to say "Oh yeah, it doesn't display for you. Fantasia is only $10 though!"
(I also think every game should let you remodel your character completely for free whenever you want. But, since people want that, they monetize it, so the shareholders will be pleased. But that's another discussion.)
I'd get the mod, but I don't use any mods, and I kinda like being "pure," judge me however you want—but, no one else would see me the way I see me, so it's half pointless. I'd create a cool character and they'd see something half complete... it bothers me enough wondering what people think about me when I at least know my portrait looks the same. But every day I lean closer to saying, fuck it, I paid for this game, it's mine to do with as I please.
Is there a mod that changes emotes? I always wanted the Shiva one :p
</rant>
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In Your Cold Apartment
Tomura Shigaraki x reader
I said I'd write more fluff this week but how about angst instead? (sorry!!)
Warnings/Content: SPOILERS if you haven't finished the manga, angst/no comfort
Trudging up the stairs to your apartment, every step feels ten times harder than it should. The air is crisp, cold. Much colder than usual and it's fucking May.
It shouldn't be like this.
You melt into the cushion of your couch, the weight in your chest begging for anything to fix it but you know there's nothing.
Nothing you can do to fix it.
Nothing can bring him back.
An air of silence hangs on everything in your apartment. It's suffocating.
You flip on the TV, immediately clicking into a streaming app. Cautious to avoid any news, anything real. You've had enough reality for a lifetime.
On auto-pilot, you select the last light hearted thing from your recently watched list. The last time you saw it was with him and it just doesn't hit the same now.
It'll never be the same.
The way he'd rest his head on your shoulder. His hand lightly brushing over yours. How he’d come over after missions smelling like rubble and dried blood. And how you went out of your way to create a mental list of every injury so you knew where it was okay touch him. The list was always growing.
He was chaos and destruction, you should have known he could never last in this world.
The sound of fake happiness spilling from your speakers grates on your nerves. Their trivial problems. The plot resetting at the end of the episode. It's all so fucking blasé.
On top of this, your neighbors laughing echoes lightly down the hallway, muffled through your walls. You want to scream, but you don't have the energy. How could they possibly be having fun when your whole world just ended?
You want to hate them for it.
And that's fair.
You’ll let yourself feel that way tonight, after all you've earned it. No one should have to see what you've witnessed today.
There's no playbook for what to do when you watched the love of your life crumble to dust through your phone screen.
The hands you held. The lips you kissed. Every part of him, gone.
And there's no one to call.
You want to call him. Every few minutes, you find yourself instinctively reaching for your phone to see if he's texted you. But he hasn't.
And he never will.
No more cute hearts and good morning texts.
That's it.
It's final.
But the dryness of your eyes tells you none of it has fully set in yet.
You should be grateful, in a way, to feel so numb. But it's another layer keeping you from any feelings that connect you back to him. You want the earth shattering devastation to absolutely break you.
You need it to. Because you need to truly accept that he's not coming back.
You'll never run your hands through his hair again.
Or whisper in his ear.
Every little list you made in your head of his ongoing injuries, favorite foods, and songs that made him feel alive are now useless.
And after everything he went through, you'll never see what his perfect world looks like. Instead, you're here. Alone. In the cold apartment you've made your own personal prison cell. Spending your days trying to figure out how to pass the time of your life while every minute crawls by agonizingly slow and and meaningless without him.
Absently, you reach for your phone again - this time pulling up his messages before you even realize what you've done.
The last message he ever sent you reads “don't worry it'll all be over quickly, see you soon <3”
Suddenly, you feel everything.
masterlist
I'll write a cute comforting ending if Horikoshi goes that direction even a little in the extra pages next week. if. 😐
#scream crying im sorry#tomura shigaraki x reader#shigaraki x reader#bnha shigaraki#Tomura shigaraki angst#tomura shigaraki x y/n#bnha x reader#shigaraki tomura#mha shigaraki
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Strasky glanced at Rook then back to Peter, they were nearly the same person if not for a few minor differences. Strasky knew he couldn't do the same type of work Peter was, nor would he be comfortable with it, but he had a feeling that was just due to his personal experiences. "Sometimes it feels more like I attract troublesome things, but I can live with that." He felt nothing would ever live up to what he'd experienced on PATHOS-II, so he was fine with whatever mess he found himself in. "And there's nothing wrong with being friendly, that's the best way to meet very interesting people." Or in Peter's case it was androids mainly if the home's residents were anything to go by.
But neither Strasky nor Peter felt like speaking on the subject with each other as they both still found it odd and a little unsettling to think they were practically the same person. And Peter had made it clear to Strasky he wasn't ready to approach the subject with how quickly he'd brushed it off and found something to busy himself, something he recognized as a tactic to prevent any possible thoughts on the subject by means of a distraction that took most of his attention.
"Shouldn't be too hard to reformat them so they can operate on an android's brain. I'd just have to see the one first." Peter paused as he noticed Strasky react to what he'd said, something which he felt was a little concerning but he wasn't going to comment on it yet, not until he had more information.
"But I have worked on enough custom and limited release androids to say that building one from scratch wouldn't be an issue." He had managed to get his hands on the equipment necessary to build custom parts for androids, so thankfully he wouldn't have to rely on any outside help from any former Cyberlife employees for the parts.
Dan and Peter both turned to look at Nines when Willow mentioned the authorities, the RK900 glanced at them before his LED turned yellow and his eyes took on a far away look. The LED returned to a calm blue after a moment as he refocused on the two looking at him. "I have found no law that prohibits what is being requested. So the work would be perfectly legal." Nines responded to the unasked question, knowing that was the reason they'd turned to look at him.
"Even if it wasn't, it probably wouldn't be the worst illegal thing I've done." Peter giggled as he turned his attention back to Dan who gave him a knowing look. "Tricking a Cyberlife employee and buying an android at fourteen is probably way more illegal then sticking a digital brain into an android." He smiled at Dan as he hugged the PL600's head, the android gently patting his arm in response.
"He really means a lot... How come?" Strasky asked, he decided it was time he asked as the relationship between the two was clearly familial, but he couldn't figure out just what role Dan fit into in Peter's mind.
"Well, I may call the androids here my friends, I only call two my brothers. Dan is one of them, basically the older brother I didn't know I wanted." Peter answered happily, showing he really didn't have an issue with putting an android into such a special role as most humans would. "Sure, Dan's only four years old, but he's way more of an older brother then a younger one."
Strasky nodded, he knew there was more to the story of how and why Dan was acquired, he just wasn't sure if anyone else cared to know so he decided not to press further. But after all he had seen with the relationship between androids and humans, he was happy to see one where both felt like they were equals.
"Cyberlife has already done something kinda like what you're probably thinking anyways. GV200 looks exactly like Kamski's half brother Gavin, his entire existence was basically being made in the hopes of Gavin running into him and getting upset about it. Which never happened before the company that owned him had him junked, turns out Gavin doesn't travel by plane like Kamiski thought. But I fixed him up, with Kamski's help as the parts were custom and that was my first time dealing with that." Peter sneered at the mention of working with Kamski, Dan had a similar reaction which made it clear the man hadn't made a very good impression with them.
"Getting accused of being the one to make him was not fun... Thankfully, Gavin believed me when I told him who had actually done it so he's only gone off on me for it the one time. Guess I should've known something was up when Kamski showed up after I placed the parts order, but it's hard to tell what the face of an android with no skin looks like until you turn them on." Nines smirked a bit at Peter's mention of Gavin's behavior, showing he had some level of experience with it.
Well, it was good to know they were going to meet even more androids by just being in Peter's immediate vicinity. At least so far only one seemed fine attacking strangers on sight, even though Bishop wasn't too keen on trusting Nines' either after the poor state he showed up in.
And knowing there was another nearly identical more deranged android around they hadn't met yet didn't please Bishop either. So he stood back with his arms crossed, keeping an eye out in case somebody else felt like joining them.
"It's funny, isn't it? You meet a whole new guy, but it's still you!" Rook said while giving Strasky an encouraging pat on the shoulder, "It looks like you guys have a thing for getting in trouble. But it's clear you're good at making friends too."
"Rook is something of an expert on the topic. However, we have more pressing matters to tend to." Willow chimed in, "To answer your question, it will indeed be custom work, but fortunately time isn't a concern."
"Yeah. We just want to know if you can put a construct into an android so they won't be stuck being formless entities anymore." Rook said with a shrug, "Those guys could really use having bodies again."
"You would be paid accordingly, both for the work itself and for the risk of taking part in such a project." A possibly illegal one, though Willow simply glanced at Dan instead of mentioning it out loud, "And we'd be thankful if none of this was mentioned to the authorities, or to Cyberlife, lest they start having more ideas they would come to regret later on."
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Just a heads up I'm trying something new and all of my prompts for the week are going to follow a specific theme. They'll all be somehow related to Superman being good to Connor. Just figured I'd let y'all know in advance so you wouldn't think I'm pushing an agenda or something.
...Or am I?
#dp x dc#dc x dp#winter's rambles#usually when i have a bunch of prompts with similar themes in my drafts#i try to space them out#but this time i had a lot of them#so i figured i'd just do them all at the same time#like some sort of theme of the week#if this goes well i might do something like it again#we'll see
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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A bit more Defeated, and thinking about this post (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#But actually starting with chibi Maxes because cutes!! He's the cutest!!#I was looking through some old doodles of my own and my chibi style from 2019 was so flippin' cute ugh#That Zedaph in cold weather clothing? Honestly still a fave of mine Zed is So soft in all my doodles of him lol#Figured it'd be nice to float some cute loves Max's way :) And I was right! Though I am out of practice lol#Was still fun to do tho haha#And then since I'd reread Defeated poor ZEX got a chibi as well! I'm sure he appreciates it poor lad haha ouq#Didn't even use my white ink to put a shine in his eye for that one haha :'D#And then a bit more with Dex </3 I had these ideas on the first reading (or so - in the same time period anyhow) but only got to them later#Dex speaks so.....patronizingly about ''Max's'' attachment to Caleb :) It's interesting to me :)#For a lot of it he's very understanding and gentle with him but it really seems like Caleb is something of a sore spot for him huh#Still ♪ I wonder if he'd consciously acknowledge it - and what his reaction would be at himself if he did hmm#He's no help to Max if he's caught in his own feelings! That doesn't make them not meaningful or important tho#And then to a bit of silliness ♪ No subtlety with the guard dog comparisons pffft#I will not apologize - if ZEX gets to play with a collar and leash with the Captain then let Max have just a little! As a treat!#Besides we all know the Real Dynamics here lol#Max and Dex do stupid couple's costumes for Halloween - who doesn't love a callback lol - and Dex is Not Amused lol#Hey I mean if the shoe fits!#And then the last one is just silly lol I may be misinterpreting the intended message but I couldn't not give it to them lol#And also Max in a ponytail for funsies :D Cute lad ♥
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They ask you back but you're a Mean Girl! Reader!
TW: Insults, bullying, the reader is a savage mean girl/bully. NO OFFENSE INTENDED!
Riddle:
The moment you heard Riddle say that he wanted you back, you couldn’t help yourself as you burst out laughing, ultimately drawing the attention of everyone in the room.
“Seriously, Riddle? You think I’d want a pathetic mama’s boy like you? It’s honestly hilarious watching you crawl back to me like some lowly bug after dumping me for the same stupid reason you overblotted and taking SO damn long to figure it out. I need a real man, not some loser with mommy issues.”
Riddle gasped the moment you said those things and his eyes filled with tears.
"Y/N!"
”Aw, you gonna cry now, baby? Ha. Typical. Just like how you did after you overblotted. And honesty, I probably should have just left you to die, or stay traumatized forever. Cause you never learn, now, do you? Which is quite ironic considering the fact that you’re my upperclassman as well as a top student. And you know? I think I’ma try dating Floyd.”
Just then, Floyd, your new boyfriend who you had just gotten together with a couple days ago walked in and gave you a kiss the moment he saw you.
“You know, Riddle? If I were you, I would really try to get out of this really embarrassing situation. So why don’t you-“
You didn’t even have to finish. The Heartslabyul Housewarden was already speeding walking out the door, only to be tripped by Ace sticking out his foot.
“Oh, would you look at that? The tiny tyrant can’t even walk!” He drawled, with Deuce right beside, also dying of laughter.
Riddle didn’t even bother collaring them.
Leona:
it had been a couple weeks since you and Leona broke up, and within that time, it was discovered that the princess decided to break off their engagement since she didn’t want Leona anymore. Leona, on this, was overjoyed, since it now meant he could come back to you and start your relationship again.
You gasped in mock hurt, “are you sure you’re a prince? Cause that’s so rude!”
“Eh? What is?” He asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion.
“That you would think I’m so pathetic as to want an idiot so stupid that he sulks about being a second-born prince all day but dumps the one chance he had to be loved for what? To become a political pawn? If I had known you would be this stupid, I would have let that silly princess have you, but then again, I guess she is kinda smart, considering how she abandoned you,” you said, eyeing him up and down with contempt.
Leona gaped at your words, shocked and hurt. Never in a million years would he have thought you, someone who was always so kind to him, would be capable of such cruelty. He clutched his heart, closing his mouth and opening it again like a fish.
"Woah hon hon, trickster!" a certain blonde hunter by the name of Rook Hunt, who was also your new boyfriend jeered as he walked up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, "looks like you've made the Roi de Leon lose his roar! How amusing!"
"Ah, Rookie, baby! Aren't I just SO full of surprises? Told you I'd be a huntress worthy of you!" You gushed as you gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Indeed you are," Leona growled, already storming away while using a hand to cover his face so that no one saw his teary eyes.
You were right. He was an idiot. He was an idiot undeserving of you. He was an idiot to have left you. But most of all, he was an idiot to have come back to you, thinking you would want him again. And now, he definitely felt like one. Especially after how you made one out of him in front of everyone.
Idia:
"Are you two telling me," you sneered with a tight smile and a twitching eye, "that not only did you dump me that day, but also lied about the reason as well?"
"W-well," Ortho began, stuttering, "when you put it like that-"
"Y/N, I was trying to protect you. You know how powerful STYX is, and what they'd do if they found out I was dating a magicless human, and I-"
"Don't want to see me get hurt? Wow. You sure are dumb, huh? I mean, don't get me wrong. I appreciate that part, but if you'd known even a single damn thing about me, you'd have known that I would have eagerly let you go if you had told the truth form the beginning. In fact, it's really quite an insult that you'd think I'm dumb enough to value my love and relationship with you over my own safety. And to be honest, if I had known you were going to be this offensive with your mere offer to get back together, maybe getting together with you in the first place was a mistake. I'm honestly starting to see why everyone hates you and wanted to leave you to die at the hands of Ghost Bride."
"O-oh . . . okay . . ." Idia said trembling, already turning to go, "S-sorry I bothered you, Y/N . . ."
"Big Sister!" Ortho cried, "Why'd you gotta be so mean!? I know what my brother did was a jerk move, but-"
"Aw, look. The dumbass robot who's supposed to imitate a ten-year-old baby is desperately tryna defend his big bro knowing the crap he put me through. You really do worship your brother like he's a Greek God, eh? How entertaining, like how the myths are!" You cackled.
Ortho was about to punch you when Idia placed a hand on his shoulder, "leave her, Ortho. She's right. I really am a mistake."
"B-but Big Brother!"
"Let's go!" Idia yanked him along. He didn't want you to see him cry. Didn't want to hear your evil insults anymore. Didn't want to be heartbroken and humiliated any further.
"Hey! Be grateful I was kind enough to pull you aside and respect your privacy. If anything, you would've been the laughingstock of the school by now, not saying you aren't one already."
At this rate Idia was running. Running away from you, and back to his dorm. Once alone and quiet, he let himself bawl. You were right. He really didn't know anything about you. Because if he did, he would have already known you could be so mean. Because if he did, he would never have dared to approach you and ask for your love again.
Malleus (and Lilia):
(To be honest guys, I REALLY hated the way Lilia treated Y/N during Malleus' part, so I'm going to be mean to him too! >:D)
Life had been a living hell for Silver these days. How could it not be? You had been spreading malicious gossip about him, pulling the most humiliating of pranks, and spitting out the cruelest, most pride-crushing insults ever at him. And behind that cool, collected exterior he put on for the sake of his father and master, also because you blackmailed him, he was breaking behind it all.
Speaking of his father and master, it had recently been decided that Malleus wouldn't be betrothed to that stupid fairy noblewoman after all. Of course, Malleus was ecstatic, and Lilia was fine, since Malleus could be happy without political complications, and thus both immediately ran to Ramshackle dorm to tell you the good news . . . only to see you pouring cold milk over Silver's head while surrounded by a group of laughing freshmen.
"Y/N! What in Twisted Wonderland is the meaning of this!?" Lilia exclaimed, rushing to his son.
You smirked. "Well, Lilia, since you and Whore-ton were SO rude to me that day when you guys dumped me, I've decided to have a little revenge. But of course, since bullying you and him would be SO boring and predictable, I decided to take my anger out on your son and vassal, instead."
"What!? How dare you!? Y/N, I'll have you know that Malleus is a prince, and him breaking up with you was a necessary action to ensure the stability of the court of Briar Valley!"
"Indeed, Y/N," Malleus voiced angrily, "also, I have recently been informed that due to certain circumstances, my engagement was broken off. Me and Lilia came here to tell you that we can be reunited. However, I can't love you again if you're going to act like this."
"Pfft, stupid idiots," you spat in distaste as you rolled your eyes (and flipped your hair, if you have long hair), "seriously? You two STILL don't get it? And you honestly still think I'd want you? After so rudely humiliating me that day by forgetting I'm a commoner who doesn't always understand politics and yelling at me, and then gaslighting me by telling me I'm being emotional when really, if you two had just given me some time to collect myself and leave, you think I would still be nice to you and your dormmates? If I had known you two would be so audacious and entitled, I probably would have harassed Sebek as well. Ha! Speaking of forgetfulness, I'll also remind you that while you're the future king of the Briar Valley of Thorns, you're also a feared, friendless monster without me."
Malleus stared at you, mouth agape and stretching his ears to ensure that he heard you right. You had been the kindest person he had ever known, never in a million years would he have imagined you to also be the cruelest. Tears began to form in his eyes as soon as he realized that such terrible words had indeed come out of your mouth.
"Ha, don't tell me you also forgot that I don't fear you. After all, if I wasn't afraid to love you, wouldn't I also be unafraid to hate you, as well?"
"Now, Y/N," Lilia began, almost condescendingly, "you're seriously so angry just because of that? I expected you to be angry about the fact that Malleus dumped you, but you're angry about the way he dumped you!? How petty can you be!?"
"P-please, father," Silver suddenly said, trembling, "Sh-she's a monster. P-please, j-just appease her. I can't endure th-this h-humiliation any further," he sobbed.
"Oh, my son . . . " Lilia murmured.
"Fine," Malleus said coldly, wiping away his own tears, "Y/N, we're sorry for offending you. Now, cease your harassment towards my knight at once."
"Tsk. That's your best apology? I've seen better repentance from pigs. Kneel down on the dirt and beg for my mercy." You commanded.
"Yeah!" Epel shouted, "kneel before the queen bee!"
And with that, all the freshmen began chanting,
"KNEEL BEFORE THE QUEEN BEE!"
"KNEEL BEFORE THE QUEEN BEE!"
"KNEEL BEFORE THE QUEEN BEE!"
"FINE!" Malleus roared, getting down until his forehead touched the grass, his ass facing the sky, and in the most polite tone he could manage, began saying "your most noble majesty, please have mercy on our offenses of speaking insolently in your presence, and with our mere offer to reunite,"
"Ahahaha!" You cackled, "that's a good dog. Now get out of my sight!" You bellowed as you kicked Malleus' head, right between his horns.
Malleus immediately scrambled to his feet, and with Lilia and Silver, furiously stormed back to Diasomnia. And by stormed back, it was literal, since storm clouds began to cloud the sky.
Once in his room, Malleus finally let himself bawl - and rage. He had just made his first - and last friend, and turned her into an enemy. He had just had his first love, someone he envisioned as his queen - only for her to turn out to be a Queen of Mean.
Author's Note: When I was reading the original fanfic, I could barely imagine myself being nice to any of the boys. So, I created this fic. I was not made to offend anyone. You are a kind and awesome individual!"
When he break up with you (riddle/leona/idia/ malleus X Mc)
Riddle rosehearts
• You left everything in your hand when you knew riddle called for you, you know...he's more important than anything, you made your way to the dorms as you expected him waiting for you, what could it be? Did he tell his mother about you? Or he's inviting you for a tea party and prepared some cake for you? Soon you will know....
• You knocked the door before getting in, on hearing "come in" you opened the door and walked in with a wide smile, "riddle, you called for me?" You asked with a joyful smile waitng for him to answer, his face had a mixed expression of sadness and worrying, "yes, please take a seat" he pointed to where you can sit and he sat by you not even making an eye contact with you which made you even worried.
• "I told you I'm going to tell mother about you that's right?" Riddle's eyes rised from the ground to your face then, "yes....did she accept the fact I'm being your gf?" You said with a worried smile, he lowered his gazes before he spoke again "no.....she didn't"
• You took riddle's hand into yours still smiling as you spoke " it's ok riddle, she will change her mind, I'm sure!" You tried to look him in face only to see a bitter expression on his face, "she won't and I'm afraid..." he pulled his hands from yours as your heart sink preparing yourself to the worse..
• "We have to break up"
• Time has stopped when you heard those words out of his mouth, he's not saying this is he? You laugh as you couldn't believe this, "are you joking? You're leaving me? Haven't you said you will stay by my side no matter what they said? ANSWER ME!!" you couldn't help it but screamed at him at the end of your words unable to hold your tears anymore.
• "I have no choice...I'm sorry"
• On hearing his words you couldn't handle it anymore, you ran out of the room slamming the door by you, riddle's eyes began to tear, it's harder on him more than you, he was angiry and all against it.....but he has no choice.
• Weeks passed and you were a crying mess, not even attending any lessons or talking to anyone, but in the last few days you began to come back again but this time with a brighter smile than ever, riddle decided to ditch everything and all orders he took to not talk to you anymore and decided to talk to you.
• "(Y/n) i was thinking....i don't want to listen to her orders again....i want to be with you!" Riddle was all determined talking to you, you gave him a smile preparing to speak again but that's when kalim dashed towards you giving you a big hug.
• "Finally found you! Come on, jamil has prepared lunch for us and then we will go in a trip on the magic carpet" kalim held your arm dragging you with him away from riddle before you even speak, he held his arm in sadness as all he could think about was your bright smile when you were with someone else,someone isn't him.....
Leona kingscholar
• "Come again?" You're not sure if you didn't hear him well or he's joking or what is it anymore, is he seriously saying he wants to break up with you or this is one of his jokes...
• "Again, we have to break up" Leona sigh before pushing those heavy words from his mouth, he couldn't handle saying it once so you made him say it twice now,"and that's for?" You tried your best not to seem hurt as you rised an eyebrow questioning.
• "They arranged a marriage to me, they want me to marry a silly princess from a nearby kingdom to make an alliance with this kingdom that's it" leona closed his eyes as he tried his best not to get mad while speaking about them.
• "And you agreed?" You crossed your arms on your chest not liking what you just heard, " they are driving me mad and farena doesn't stop talking about this....they even want me to get engaged with her next holiday!" Leona hide his face with one hand as he spoke.
• "And since when you listen to anyone? Especially farena?" This time you began to get mad , you admit you even wanted to slap him!, "you don't understand anything"
• "Fine...and i don't want to understand, if breaking up is that what you want then you got it...i wish you happiness with someone else!" As stubborn he is you were also stubborn doing your best hiding your feelings..the daggers were staping you in your heart, once you closed the door and took some far steps from his room you begain crying and wailing, you think he didn't hear that? He did and it broke every inch of his loving heart to you, he squeezed his eyes shut, headache was already getting the best of him but breaking your heart was worse than headache.
• That was rough two months on the both of you, him being moody and getting mad at anyone and you for not trusting anyone anymore and not event talking with others, you just decided to keep your feelings for yourself but things can change sometimes.
• Leona saw you more active and all fresh new, did you forget about him that quickly? He moved by your direction as you were in the hall, you were speaking with someone else and laughing it was like you're finally back happy, leona take a hide as he moved closer but he was torn to see that you're talking to lilia! The vice of that lizard?! Why him!? He decided he's going to talk to you about that as he stopped you for a talk.
• "Can i talk to you alone?" It was more like a command not a request, you looked at lilia asking and he nodded and left you alone with a wide smile, "well actually i didn't expect you after being the girlfriend of a prince to become a friend with the lizard's servant I'm impressed!" Liona rised an eyebrow to you as he spoke in a sarcastic tone holding your arm into his grib which you of course didn't like...
• " well i prefer to be with a servant that truly loves me than to be with a prince that threw me away only because he was ordered to! Unfortunately....i thought myself valuable for you....." pulling your hand from his grib you walked away to catch with lilia who was watching over you from afar leaving leona hurt alone standing in the hall...
Idia shroud
• "(Y/n)! You have to decide now, it's either you stay with me forever or go back to your world!" It was the first time idia seem that serious with you, it's not like you're going to your home now since no one found you a way yet so you decided to laugh it off with idia, "idia what do you mean? I'm always here for you!"
• "Not forever! One day you will leave me! And i will go back to be alone again, if you're going to leave then we have to break up right now!" Idia gave you his back as he spoke out, it was the first time you see him like that...."break up?!"
• "Yes! If you're going to leave me then there's no need for me to get attached to someone will leave me at last.....I HATE TEMPORARILY PEOPLE!" idia shouted made your heart jump from it's place, you ran to him to comfort him, you held his arm trying to face him as you tried your best to not seem sad from what he said...he didn't mean it, right?
• "Idia, i will always be by your side as long as I'm here but when it's time to go back i have to....i have a family waiting for me..." you were going to hug him and that's when he pushed you away, "then it's your choice to leave me then....I'm sorry (y/n) we have to break up!"
• "IDIA WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! Are you dumping me for that reason? Was i a game in your hand to toy with and leave it whenever you're tired? If that what you think of me then i will give you what you want and i will leave you...but when you know your fault don't come talk to me!" You shouted at him as you pulled him from his jacket to face your crying ones, you collected your strength to speak again "it was my fault i loved someone like you!" You threw him to the ground, you left him and ran back to your room crying, he was on the floor hugging his knees hiding his face with his hands almost crying, he felt a hand on his shoulder...it was ortho..
• "Nii san....why didn't you tell her the truth?" Ortho looked at idia in sadness as idia burst out into tears hugging his little brother tightly, "i had to do that , it's better if she don't know....when they knew im in love with a normal human they were going to get rid of her...it's all for her good to stay away from me"
• It hurts idia deeply what he said to you and what have you also said to him before you leave, but as long as you're safe then it's going to be ok, but he wasn't ok seeing you playing board games with azul every once in a while and spend time with him....and most importantly your smile that you used to bright up his day with are no longer his, he held his chest tightly crying, it was all for your own good.....
Malleus draconia
• He was worried, not like every time he used to be, he's not that joyful person but at least not by you, you grew more worried as he was avoiding your gazes to him and that's when you decided to speak, "malleus...are you ok?" You looked at him with a questioning expression unable to read his face for the first time.
• He took a deep breath before he looked at you with a serious face, "i think we should break up" you froze for a second not knowing how to react to this sudden decision that he made all alone, " why should we? Have i done something that made you mad at me? Have i said something wrong or that's because of my carefree actions? I'm sorry, i will change it all but Don't leave me!" Your eyes began to tear, you didn't know what you did wrong!
• "Look....it's better if you stay away from me....that's my problem not yours" he looked at you with a frown as he spoke, he seriously want to break up with you? , "have i complained? I accept you with all your problems in all your forms!" You reached your hand to his back as he was facing the wall, what you couldn't see back then the pain into his face, he really doesn't want this....
• "(Y/n) it's all over between us! And....there's another one in homeland that is going to be my partner, one day you will go back to your word and i don't want to be alone anymore"
• "Malleus, have you replaced me?" You cried out you lunge as your tears were running down your face like a waterfall, your crying squeezed his heart , it's not easy for him as well, "i stood by you when no one was here, i never feard you, i loved you from the bottom of my heart...and what i got in reward that you replaced me?!" You held into malleus' back crying even harder, "please tell me you're not doinf this to me, tell me that is not real!"
• And that's when you heard another voice in the room " you're not the appropriate mach with malleus, we already found him the better ones so please calmly leave the place with no more struggling!" Your eyes widened on hearing lilia's words, it was the first time you ever hear him speaking to you in that tone, you left malleus back and took your way out of diasomania.
• Poor malleus stood there, he squeezed his eyes shut as he can't believe what he has done to you, you really were the most kind person towards him and he didn't want all of this to happen...
• "You did the right thing" said lilia before leaving malleus alone into his room..
• Time passed and you stopped hearing about malleus or even want to talk to him again, you were out of class waiting for someone, malleus saw you standing there and without thinking he began to walk towards you, but only to find another blonde guy running towards you, you were so happy to see him, " o mon fleur, sorry if i kept you waiting" it was rook hunt, he took your both hands and placed a Kiss on each one as you giggled on his action he continued, "come on, i will prepare us some tea and then we will do some skin-care routine!!" The happy guy took your hand walking you away from malleus' sight , he deeply wanted to go talk to you again but he will never do that after what happened this day.....
Even a hundred apologies will never cure broken hearts....
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland idia#twst#twst riddle#twst malleus#twst idia#twst leona#Riddle Rosehearts#Leona Kingscholar#Idia Shroud#Malleus Draconia#Mean Girls#twst wonderland#twisted wonderland imagines#disney twst#twisted wonderland riddle#twisted wonderland leona#twisted wonderland malleus
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How’s life? No pressure question ofc, but if you want to share please feel free to do so with this ask :3
Eh, it doesn't feel all that great right now. I'm tired and hungry a lot, but I just have to get a routine together. My sleep has been wonky, I've been waking up too early, but I feel fine then but it also feels like I can't rest completely- I have dreamless nights mostly. And I also just get annoyed a lot, but it feels better being around people I like.
#my father is upset today too cause I couldn't hang out with him#I talked to a social worker at school a few days ago just for check in and in my opinion I still feel bad even talking to her#it's been a rough week and I'm not sure what to do except deal with it and move on#I like to draw still#I dont want to get tired of it#I mean at least I'm doing productive things like laundry and showering#I'm gonna have spaghetti today that's a good thing#I'll have clean sheets for my bed that's good too#I got presents a day earlier and that's good#I like listing the positives#It kinda gives me ideas for writing#I really wanna eat all these positive things i mean the feeling it gives me in itself#I really love the good things I don't ever want to lose them#I'm actually gonna try to make a doll bunny today#I got dug up old fabrics in my room so I can experiment with something new#I'd list more good things but I'd sound kinda weird doing that in the tags#I should probably journal again but my mind blanks when I try but I'll figure it out#I mean poetry and fanfiction is always an outlet#I gotta practice that more often#There still a ways to go in life so obviously it'll change eventually it always does#And it's only one of many weeks so I can't be too doubtful#It can't always be the worst#Feeling the same feels awful#No matter the emotion it kinda turns numb if you feel it long enough#Days are always changing though since everybody is doing different things everyday all the time#Like most say 'it gets better' eventually#I guess I can wait for a good day#I have no choice sooo I'll let whatever happen#Well technically I can make it happen#I'll feel better when I made myself dinner and cleaned my bed and put away my laundry and put on fuzzy socks and go to sleep
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if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff
#this is math i do fairly often bc i enjoy ho-hum math and hate my job and like#even if we took off 2000 bucks for overhead costs which feels excessive but i will concede it#that would be enough to pay everyone working a little over 860 dollars which is 300 more than what i make in a WEEK#literally WHEREEEEE IS IT WHERE IS IT GOING WHERE IS IT#i dont like following this logic through because on days where there are fewer orders we;d do less#and i disagree with gig work's implementation as ive seen it and i think that would stress people out worse than we already are#(which is significantly)#but at the same time. 850 dollars. i cant afford to buy groceries this week. 850 dollars...#can i get a BONUS or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it makes me soooo angry i was talking to one of the deli guys who asked for a raise and got denied mid-question#before our director accidentally showed him that their department is four thousand of gods own dollars under labor#its so revolting to me i talk to so many people in this store who are terrified because of medical bills or rent or car shit#half my department works two jobs just to get by and ALL OF THEM drive junkers#honestly one of the things thats scaring me about if i actually move out is that i do rely on...living with my mom#i pay for most of my own food i pay an absurd amount of rent to share a room with her but she's willing to drive me to work#even though i've offered to walk multiple times and she REALLY should prioritize her own time more#but at the same time...not having to pay for rides has been carrying me hard#if i got a car i'd be fucked because those things bleed money and generally ethically i disagree with cars#but if i dont its like okay pony up the money learn to navigate buses (except for sunday when they dont run) or get ready#to walk to your job where you walk all day and then walk home in the dark#which. i love walking. and listening to music on my own while walking. so bad example. but i also love not having my feet hurt#all the time always no matter what im doing which is something im becoming increasingly unfamiliar with#its like. ultimately. something's gonna get fucked no matter what#and then i hear a figure like 4600 and i remember how avoidable all of this shit is. how avoidable it is for ANY of us#our ceo is gonna walk away from this merger attempt with 5 billion dollars in safety-cushion money#the 10 top execs beneath him with 1 billion#and its just so. what can you even do. 5 billion. can a number like that even mean anything? how could you possibly need that much#850 dollars would be a lifechanging amount of money for me right now and im not even one of the worst off#its just. god. this world could be anything but what it is but its this and for what
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this is gonna sound incredibly virtue signal-y i fear but i have been feeling. so fiercely protective of all the transfems i've ever met lately
#marzi speaks#I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO EARN GOOD BOY POINTS HOLD ON LET ME. EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE#obvs we're in kinda a tense political climate rn#and i'm noticing trends have been getting . increasingly misogynistic lately?#in like . a subtle but for sure still noticeable way#and women are being dismissed and all this awful shit#and ppl are going. completely mask off about it when the woman happens to be a trans gender#and it reminds me of when i was a little girl. and how my mom spent so much time in my childhood#training me to not stand for and take misogynistic bullshit from anyone. and to defend other women too#she taught me to assert myself in professional or academic environments. she taught me to stand proud and take up physical space#once as a kid my great uncle (who's always been a nut) didn't let me come on a fishing trip because i was a girl#when i came to my mom crying about it because i loved boats and fishing and my family she just about murdered him. completely tore into him#my whole life my mom has been there to tell me that people will try to put me down. they will try to overlook me or dismiss me#or make me feel smaller. and if i dare to get too confident i'll be labeled bossy or a bitch#and that no matter what i do i cannot let those pieces of shit win. i cannot let that stop me#and that i'd have to fight so fucking hard for it my whole life and it won't be fair but i will do it because i have no other option#and i'm seeing a lot of transfems having to navigate that now too#but they didn't get the privilege of being trained in this since day 1. they have to figure it out on their own#and the demonization right now is so strong that a single misstep can be. so dangerous#and it makes me so mad. all of that built up anger from every time i've had to learn how to not take misogynistic bullshit comes to a boil#the little girl scout in my brain who grew up forcing people to see that a girl can do whatever the fuck she wants fuck you is ACTIVE rn#she's angry. she's so angry. because she's seeing the same bullshit she dealt with in middle school being repeated again#anyways. transfems. i love you so much. you deserve so much fucking better.#i hope you can safely advocate for yourself. until then i will fucking yell and scream from the rooftops because this shit is so unfair#you should be allowed to succeed and you should be allowed to fail. and you should be allowed to take up as much goddamn space as you want#and wear whatever the hell you want. transfems i love you and i am so so angry on your behalf. modern feminism has failed you#and i am going to kill someone over it#remember to be loudly and unapologetically yourself as much as you safely can. do not let them crush your spirit
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today on my When All You Have is a D10 project: Rolling a 6 with a D100.
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1-16: Option 1
17-32: Option 2
33-48: Option 3
49-64: Option 4
65-80: Option 5
81-96: Option 6
97-100: Reroll
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if you get that last one you can reroll the ones column, tens column, or both, up to you. tune in next time for so fucking help me i WILL find an efficient way to substitute dice for a deck of playing cards
#solo rpgs#solo ttrpgs#ttrpg tables#i doubt this is something people haven't figured out many times already; but! it's useful and i hadn't seen it anywhere#and it was enough of a hassle that i figured i'd save some time for anybody who also will find it useful and hadn't seen it elsewhere#also i know it would maybe be more in the spirit of the thing to call it 'when all you have is a d100'#because a *lot* of the time that's effectively what you're rolling for; and maybe i will change the name to that#but you could do it with just a d10! it'd be really annoying in some cases because you have to roll d10 twice for a d100! but you could!#current parameters of the challenge are 'make the roll without having to reroll anything below a 90 or a 10'#i made the rpgsolo hack to be playable with only a d10 and d100 and it was fun enough that i wanted to do more with that#also i will be fair and say that the dice deck thing is not necessarily when all you have is a d10. i will take any dice combo that works#my disabled ass can't use physical cards; and physical dice are dodgy#but there are a LOT more digital dice rollers out there than there are digital card deck tools#let alone ones that don't rely on an online server; let alone ones that actually work on mobile#it is A Quest of Mine and i have zero experience with game jams but i am legit considering poking at hosting one for this#in particular because there's like 5000 ways you could do it and it would be nice to give people accessibility options#in case whatever go-to i jury-rig for myself doesn't jive with them#it does count as awkward tables initiative to me though so it goes under the same banner as this one#when all you have is a d10 project#awkward tables initiative#RPGSolo#ttrpg tag#whosebaby does game dev#whosebaby makes things#edit: literally less than a half hour after posting this i found. the simplest possible way to draw a card with dice. wheezes#figuring out a method to keep TRACK of a deck efficiently is probably another story but OH MY GOD. IT'S BEEN A YEAR#AMAZING
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uploading all the videos i took during my time on tour with scott onto a flashdrive and there's 190 items selected omg,,,,
#to be fair some of them are like 10 seconds of b-roll but other ones are 45 minutes to an hour so idk exactly what the total time is#and not all of these are specifically from the tour a few of them are other vids that could be used in the doc#but i'd guess the vast majority are the tour#current mood is that meme where someone asks to see the person's phone and they're like ''sure just a sec''#and then it's a screenshot of deleting 50+ screenshots of the same fictional character or celebrity#except all of the scott images/vids on my phone are somehow for WORK and i can't delete them i'm duplicating them onto a flashdrive#so even if i do need to free up space i will have the video of scott teasing me at my first gay bar FOREVER#anyone wanna watch through the several hours worth of footage with me as i try to figure out how i'm gonna edit this into a 10 min sample#as the final for my independent study credit lmao#(rhetorical but also maybe at some point i'll be sharing some of this behind the scenes footage even if it doesn't make the doc)#that tour was such a wild experience i miss it so much lmao#feeling nostalgic for sitting on the floor of a nyc train station with scott and casually chatting about being undiagnosed manic-depressive#literally the best vibes i wish i was sitting on the floor of a train station with scott rn
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Which Imaginary Illness Do You Have?
storm syndrome
ㅤyou never really knew how to be yourself, distancing yourself from your own existence - standing outside of the house even as the storm closed in. you are going through the motions of everyday life, uncaring except for the toughest storms. each one feels like the one - the one that will finally be too much for you. somehow it isn't - it never is (except the last one). and as the people around you pick their lives back up and move on, barely bothered by the storm, you still carry it in you - one foot in your life and one out of it. and when they'll ask about you, asking questions about your future, your plans, your dreams, the only honest answer would be "i don't know, i never thought i'd make it this far".
tagged by:ㅤ@gnarledbite ♡!!
#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ dash meme.#oh my gOD... what the fuckajkfsd#this one hits HARD holy shitttt#the way byan knows very well who they are but at the same time... they don't#they never really got to figure out who they were before awful and lifechanging events started shaping them into who they are now#who would they be if they got to grow up normally? if they'd had a more average and less traumatic childhood?#'you still carry it in you' is so REAL. they haven't been able to let go of a damn thing that's happened to them#and it completely impacts the way they approach life and people#they're ANGRY and they hold on to that anger because it's all they fucking have. it's the only thing that's kept them going for so long.#'i don't know i never thought i'd make it this far' just fuck me riGHT UP JFC#yeah. yeah. that's exactly it. they never really planned for the future bc they were sure there wasn't going to be one.#but here they are. and now they're expected to know what they want to do with their life like their entire life up until now#hasn't simply been about survival.#.....fortunately they have some help and guidance now in figuring out what they want and how they can get it#but. yeah. 'grey stop overthinking about quiz results' challenge: impossible
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Thinking about what happened in the summer
Kids are... Really different when it comes to spending three weeks without their parents
Some start crying near the end of first day
Some start crying after couple of days
And some don't show anything while feeling the same
And being... I think English has a good word for that, let's go with a teacher but mix it with caretaker a little bit
I think seeing a kid cry at the end of that first day finally short circuited my brain, teens are way harder to understand that pre-teens who are literally still kids
They come around after a week, settle down and find new friends and your job stays the same mostly to be the one controlling their behavior
And then you'd have a kid crying again, because they miss home and the only thing you can really do is comfort them that they're not stuck here forever and that time flows so fast they won't notice it
And maybe they didn't. Time really did flew and they were leaving
Parents visited kids sometimes, of course, and it was so scary at first but they were mostly friendly and nice
Maybe because of that group chat that let them see that their kids are fine and are having fun
In the end for kids it was painful at first, but fun in the end. I got hugged more times than I could count when they were all leaving
And then poof
Back to your own life you go, like nothing happened
#not art#irl stuff#some thoughts#Every time I tried mixing my 'usual' behavior with the one I had back in the camp it felt like adding acid into water in the wrong order#Because it didn't feel right and it felt right at the same time#Like I just suddenly got a brand new way of behavior all together and it was so different that I stopped recognizing myself#Literally I'd work all day without much of a thought head full of WHERE EVERYONE IS ARE THEY SAFE??? And then at break near night go 'huh'#And at first I tried desperately to catch the usual behavior and bring it back on the break#And it never led to anything good because I'm supposed to be fully like in daytime 24/7#I did that one sketch of silly guys to just keep at least something in my head aside from being fully aware 24/7 of every passing second#I still don't know if I miss that or not#It felt so nice to not feel like I have no goal in mind anymore#A goal of 'get to the end of this with all of the kids fine and safe' without ever swearing or making them feel threatened was... Exhaustin#I never became some super sweet person to know so I did what I knew best - talked a lot telling about the things they liked#And if a kid is curious being interesting by telling stories that they didn't know about the things they liked is a way to be liked#Most of them probably forgot about me existing there but some probably didn't and would return next year again#Honestly I don't know why I failed so many exams when becoming a teacher is the only thing that makes me truly happy now#And super tired because THAT'S WORK and it's exhausting as hell some kids love to fight and you need all your diplomacy to work with it#Maybe that's just me missing my time with siblings when they were little I didn't get much time being a good elder sibling to them#I can't associate this work with becoming a parent for a month because I'm still not so different from those kids#Like... I've literally have been told by older kids that they mistook me for a teen like them#Excuse you but I'm like 7 years older than that#It was funny tho because I was considered a bit closer to them all instead of being a big bad grown-up#Yet some kids despised me because of that in the first group because welp not being an authority figure sucks#That being my first job sucks even more because I had no idea about the unspoken rules while everyone had aside from me and mom#Second try was way better because I knew exactly what I had to do even if I was terrible at making us participate in dances and songs#Thankfully it started raining and don't you dare let kids get cold from being in the rain at night that's just ridiculous#So it was like we had a slumber party with me letting them watch GF on my laptop and read some comics#It was way better than being forced to look at the other groups winning all over again. Kids disliked losing so many times in a row#And in the end the things we planned weren't exactly enough but when they were kids were happy and I was happy because we put so much effor
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#i hate that I'm so focused on trying to figure out which breeder GTWS got his new kittens from#i can't help it that my family knows a lot of the ASH breeders in the area#i can't help it that we've owned and bred ASHs for more than half my life#I'd be shocked if his cats weren't the same bloodline as my cat because the set of katy bee's eyes are soooo similar to my cats#her ear to head ratio is funny though.#neither of them have perfect markings but they do have really great color#also the flat top eyes are so interesting to me but they've got that really striking green like the line from Aspire's#this is all nonsense dw about it#also there is VERY good reason to shop instead of adopt sometime but do your research and make sure youre shopping from a breeder NOT a mil#trust me there's a difference#also some breeders have such bad reputations in the community for refusing to diversify their lines#do NOT buy into that. it is so bad for the cats and can lead to some pretty horrible defects#do your fucking research guys#often times breeders work together sharing client lists/referring each other when they don't have availabilities#most breeders are not just constantly keeping cats bred to produce endless kittens#there are down periods to allow mother cats recovery time to put on weight again (ideally) and many breeders keep their queens and sires as#pets not just breeding stock#Research. Research. Research.#all that to say. GTWS has very good taste in cat breed as ASHs have delightful temperments and I completely understand why someone disabled#chose that breed. they're basically a shorthaired ragdoll who is slightly more independent
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