#I mean poetry and fanfiction is always an outlet

[gardensnakie]

How’s life? No pressure question ofc, but if you want to share please feel free to do so with this ask :3

Eh, it doesn't feel all that great right now. I'm tired and hungry a lot, but I just have to get a routine together. My sleep has been wonky, I've been waking up too early, but I feel fine then but it also feels like I can't rest completely- I have dreamless nights mostly. And I also just get annoyed a lot, but it feels better being around people I like.

[obsidianpen]

Hi OP. This is completely unrelated to literally everything on here but the love of my life just broke up with me and I am absolutely devastated. Do you have any advice on how to deal with it and what to do?

oh damn. im sorry to hear that anon... especially because i know that right off the bat most of what I say will feel like BS anyway. For now, anyway. But i'll try anyway.

If they broke up with you, unless it was for some extremely unfortunate, uncontrollable circumstances, then they were probably not the love of your life. I know, who the fuck am I to say that - i don't know you or them or anything. but i do know that people are extremely good at figuring out how to pursue what they want if they want it bad enough, and when someone is truly and passionately in love, very little will stop them from maintaining that.

that being said, im sure that does little to make you feel better (and may make you feel worse). but i hope that it does, because it means that there is always more love out there, waiting to be found. and you are deserving of it all - never forget that!

as for how to deal with heartbreak... my only advice is to focus all your energy on non-romantic endeavors. Pour all your energy into whatever your passions are, be it art, sports, whatever - and if you don't have a passion/hobby like that, it's time to start one! write poetry! write fanfiction! draw with charcoal! Paint! find an outlet and dive in. and if you dont work out regularly id recommend doing something there too, however you like to exercise. doing things to make your body healthier will help your mental health too! At least, that's what I have found is helpful for me.

<3

[st4r-c0d3]

class 1-a hobby hcs >:D

Kyoka pole dances. it took her a while to get good bc it was hard for her to relax her body at first but once she got the hang of it she never stopped

she thoroughly enjoys it too. its become one of her favorite emotional outlets bc she says it helps her emulate her emotions through her movements

Hagakure used to cheer in middle school

one of Sero's parents and said parents siblings were all in the circus so he learned a lot of performance arts over his years of aliveness

besides silks and contortion, he dabbles in aerial hoop, is pretty decent at trapeze, and weirdly skilled in knife throwing

bc of this he is also incredible with stealth missions

Bakugo and Mina both dance except Mina does hip hop and jazz while Bakugo does ballet and lyrical

Iida has a very obvious passion for theater so he is not only an extremely convincing liar when need be but also vv skilled with his voice due to being in a few musicals in middle school

Deku likes P L A N T S

he studies botany and its one of his few hobbies that is ENTIRELY unrelated to his future as a hero

he also likes puppetry

he says it keeps him sane (think that one episode of Teen Titans Go)

Kaminari's parents made him do a lot of shit as a kid so he dabbles in soccer, competitive swimming (it took a LOT of control due to his quirk), doubles tennis, theater, sewing, and a few instruments (trumpet, saxophone, xylophone, and the piano)

he is also exceptional in gymnastics and its the one thing his parents made him learn that he still does and is passionate about

Tsu absolutely LOVES rug making

she adores it and its her favorite thing to do whenever shes at home and has the time

Yaomomo took piano and vocal lessons as a child but her passion is in literature

she reads at every given opportunity and writes poetry

Kirishima boxes. that is all.

Ojiro is a surfer boi and he has a lot of medals n stuff bc of it

Todoroki likes to crochet

his mom taught him how and the first thing he tried to make was an All Might sweater for Deku that came out all kinds of fucked but Deku loves it with his entire being regardless

Uraraka and Tokoyami both like photography

Uraraka has a cheap camera she got for her birthday one year and she is always finding new ways to make the best outcome

meanwhile Tokoyami has a small collection of high quality cameras that he has acquired over his years of living

his favorite subjects are always things found in nature so sometimes he takes pictures of Deku's plants

he also writes poetry, writes music, he draws, paints, and is studying anatomy (he has a skeleton in his room named Jules-Albert after Nico's chauffer in pjo)

Shoji likes making jewelry so all of his friends have smth they can wear during training that wont break

Mineta writes fanfiction. when i say fanfiction i mean the most toe curling smut imaginable and actually has a pretty decent following bc of it

Koda studies color theory. like its creepy to others how much he knows about color theory

he talks about it all the time with Tokoyami

Sato has a very strong interest in culinary science

Aoyama plays the harp, sings, acts, is decent at ballet, and makes clothing

he plays the harp incredibly might i add

[veridium]

what is your favorite game to play? what inspired you to write? what’s your favorite food? what’s your favorite piece you’ve ever written?

So many good questions, thank you for asking!

I do not have a favorite game (I mean, Inquisition has been perhaps my most consistent favorite, technically) but I have favorite types of games. I like intense single-player ones with a rich story and a lot of world-building/lore to them. I’m getting into The Outer Worlds right now (surprise, surprise) and I am enjoying it a lot. I’m also planning on starting HellBlade and The Witcher 3 finally. 

As for writing, I have always loved to do it! I was a very creative child growing up and wrote/drew/painted as soon as I could learn. Writing stories and poetry have been deep, deep loves of mine. It wasn’t until I played DA:I that I saw an outlet for it in the form of fanfiction. I’m so glad I decided to fall down the rabbit hole. 

Favorite foods are also impossible for me to choose -- I just know I love food! It’s a complicated relationship given that I have an ED. I love to try foods from different places, cultures, and communities. My frequent go-tos are Mexican food, sushi, anything that has really good vegetarian options (Indian, Vietnamese, Thai especially). 

I could also never pick a favorite piece I’ve ever written. I’m very proud of my poetry chapbooks because they represent a lot of growth. Fanfiction-specific, I’m probably known most for my long-fics, so perhaps that? They are definitely huge projects that I am intensely proud of. :)

anon hour!

[thebeethathums]

Writing Question Tag Thing

Tagged by the always amazing @angryteapot and I stole their under the cut message because I am lazyyy.

Some of these answers are pretty long, so if you’re interested in learning a bit about me, then by all means, read under the cut! 

Q: What is your coffee order?

Coffee isn’t really my jam. I’m more of tea drinker. I like most teas and I vary a lot but my current order is a London Fog... it’s like... Earl Grey tea with Milk and sweetener. Pretty good.

Q: What is the coolest thing you’ve ever done?

I don’t really consider myself cool thing kind of person but, to me, two things stand out. First, I’ve seen the Mona Lisa up close like behind the rope >:) My Grandmother was still spry enough at the time to travel with only minor accommodations but the Louvre is massive so they offered her a wheelchair. She graciously accepted and the guards let us go behind the rope so she could see. An amazing and serendipitous opportunity. Second, I cosplayed Lumpy Space Princess from Adventure Time at Comic-Con with a couple of friends dressed as Marceline and Finn and we met the voice actors for Marceline and her Dad! It was pretty awesome. YES, I’m a nerd. Deal with it.

Q: Who has been your biggest mentor?

Honestly, it was the lady my parents hired to help me with my college transfer application. She was a tough love kind of person (which I needed at the time) and one of the only people to tell me that what I could do art and writing wise HAD VALUE. That was kind of a turning point for me in a lot of ways. I will always ALWAYS be grateful to her for that.

Q: What has been your most memorable writing project?

OKAY. So fanfiction wise. Observers. Pretty obvi. Academically, my thesis for my English degree. I wrote about the idea of ‘the other’ in the Mass Effect video game series (ALL THREE OF THEM.) It was very long and involved lots of gameplay for research purposes. Personally, the most memorable for me out of them all would be the first short story I wrote. It had a really interesting concept and was well received by my peer reviewers and that made me happy which made it memorable *shrug*

Q: What does your writing path look like, from the earliest days until now?

I’ve always been a bit of a scribbler in a lot of ways. I had a poem published after some sort of school contest or something and I kept a sort of haphazard journal for years. To be completely honest, I didn’t start writing anything that wasn’t for school until fan fiction. That’s not to say I didn’t like writing. I just always channeled it into an academic setting. Which meant my teachers got A LOT of strange papers from me... to name a few: Aliens in Mystic anthropology vs. Aliens in modern media, Shakespeare's Effects on Science Fiction, Stage or Screen: How well do musicals translate into cinema, A Cinematic Analysis of Monsoon Wedding, Van Helsing the Hugh Jackman movie related Bram Stoker’s Dracula... among others. I think I also wrote an entire philosophy paper about unicorns at one point. I was that kid that always took a prompt somewhere the teacher never really intended. It wasn’t until I transferred to a different college that I felt like I had anything important to say story wise... and then fan fiction became an almost frantic outlet to get all of it out- followed quickly by some original work and more poetry. It’s been kind of a wild ride from there.

Q: What is your favorite part about writing?

Honestly, the control. I love being able to do whatever the heck I want with characters- mine or canon. Since I don’t really plan all that much when I write it starts out more of an idea like what if this person existed. What if they were all in this place. And then I get to run with it however I want and that is the best feeling. Soo... Control and details. I love world building.

Q: What does a typical day look like for you?

It depends on day. I’m not an early riser and thankfully my job doesn’t make be get up early at the moment. Work days I’m up by 8:30, work by ten, work either 7 or 9 hours. Then home and SLEEP. Front facing sales jobs for introverts are exhausting TBH. I hate it. Looking for something different ASAP. Off days are more relaxed but I’m a caregiver for my Grandma so mostly cooking and cleaning and then chilling with my puppers/writing/whatever else catches my fancy.

Q: What does your writing process look like?

Mostly staring at a google doc for an embarrassing amount of time. I only seem to have two writing modes. Staring or greatly inspired. When I’m actually writing good chunks it usually because I imagined some bits of how it will go over a day or so and then it just flows. Other times it’s staring and rewriting things a million times. I suppose that's pretty normal.

Q: What’s the best advice you’ve gotten?

Letting go of toxic people in my life. I’m a big giver in a lot of ways and shy so I don’t make friends easily... unfortunately its led to a lot of situation where I’m taken advantage of or stomped on emotionally. It took me a long time to learn to be picky with who you surround yourself with.

Q: What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned?

You can’t force other people to change. I’ve struggled with my relationship with my mother for ages and in an amazingly clear moment, I realized that no matter how hard I tried, if she doesn’t want to make a change to be a positive and more sensitive person toward me then she won't. I can’t force her to change her ways no matter how healthy it would be for both of us. Once I accepted this, things got easier to handle. I see her less but I know exactly what to expect when I do and let things roll off me a little better than I used to.

Q: What advice would you give someone who wants to start writing?

Writing anything, even if it's short and horrible in your mind, is better than writing nothing. Really. When I’m struggling I force myself to at least write something because a bad first draft can only improve whereas no draft can do absolutely squat.

Tagging: No tags. Don’t want to annoy anyone. BUT if anyone would like to answer them TAG me I would love to read your answers!

[just-4-thought]

The Battle of Despair: Writing

*DISCLAIMER: this is my story, personal experience, anecdotes. I am just a peer sharing some techniques that have helped me and what I have learned from the techniques that did not help me. I am not a professional. I took like two courses of psychology in college and have limited personal experience with mental illness. I am just someone who has dealt with some circumstantial trails (you will get a glimpse of some of it in the anecdotes to follow). I have not always dealt with these trials well and some of my mistakes have taught me things and continue to teach me things as I learn and grow. This is not professional help and does not substitute for it. Just me sharing personal experience.

If it doesn’t work for you, don’t do it. This is a series broken down into topics and posted periodically. If you disagree, remember that this is my personal experience and what has worked for me. So, consider if it may be best to make your own post before commenting.

The Battle of Despair is often a long and grueling siege, depleting the soldiers of the mind, body, and soul until those soldiers become too weak to wield a weapon.

Writing.

Writing until my fingers fall off (metaphorically of course).  A technique that has helped me in the Battle of Despair and how I have used it (below the cut)

-Disorganized mess of emotion - Sometimes just sitting down and starting to let the words flow in the disorganized mess that they hit the page is enough. A lot of times, I will fill up pages with junk – and if most of it ends up being negative and full of thoughts that are not productive, I will wait a few moments or a few hours or sometimes sleep and come back to it. I will ponder what I wrote, and try to pick out any pieces that are helpful and then delete all the crap that is harmful. If it is a note on my phone, or a document on my computer hitting that “x” or the trashcan symbol can feel like such a release. There is something therapeutic about all that gross just physically being … gone.

-Force positive -  When things are really really bad. Instead of focusing on what I can’t do, I try to focus on what can I still do. Where is there still hope? What can I still be thankful for? How can I change the narrative? I often literally use the analogy of a warrior fighting a nearly hopeless battle and that’s where the title of this series came from. This step changes the way I think about a hopeless situation and I try to dwell on these pieces more than any of the others. But this type of writing/thinking is so difficult – extremely difficult. It takes so much mental work and sometimes it feels absurd, but the more I do it, the better I get at it. This step does not mean that I am not allowed to be sad, angry, etc. about it. There is a time and place for those things, but this step just helps fight the despair that wallowing in those things can bring. IT DOES NOT HELP AT ALL FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO DO THIS PART. If someone else does this part, it feels calloused and rude – like the person does not care and then I feel forced to defend why I am fighting despair in the first place. I am so bad at comforting people because I want to do this step for them – I know how much work it is and so I want to try to help them. But I have to try to remember that it absolutely does not work for me. I will talk more about using the support system in a latter post.  

-Escapism – You can do anything when you write. You can live vicariously through characters who don’t have to experience anything you have to experience (and yes – poetry can contain fictional characters. The narrator or the “I/me” person can be fictional). Your character can fall in love or go on an adventure – anything. But your character can also be dealing with something similar to you or something different but might have similar challenges/solutions. I use a lot of genres for this purpose. I have even noticed a lot of people (myself included) using fanfiction for this purpose. The reason I think fanfiction is great therapy is because I can use characters that already inspire me but are definitely not me –and I can put them in similar or at least equally challenging situations. Their interactions with situations really do change my perspective. I sometimes will do this really quickly in my head when things are so bad that I can’t write. For me, the question I ask myself when things are very bad is usually “what would Rey (Star Wars) or Diana (Wonder Woman) be doing if she were in this situation?” I will also sometimes visualize them in key moments – for example, there is a scene in TLJ where Rey does this battle scream and I will run that scene on repeat in my head when I am experiencing a lot of pain (literal and metaphorical). It sounds absurd, but it really helps me draw that strength and determination I imagine she is feeling in that moment. Writing for escape/distraction/to draw strength can be fanfiction but it can be any genre that works for me.

-Organize thoughts – Writing to organize thoughts is really helpful for me too. That is part of what this series is about – organizing my thoughts on what is helping and what is not helping me fight despair in difficult times.

-A note on posting writing to social media – I sometimes have to be careful. I’ve been posting the recent series online and it has felt like an outlet and a way to keep myself accountable to trying to be positive. I can’t explain it, but it is for me. I have tried not to look at notes and stopped tagging most of the pieces. BUT THIS IS NOT how I rally my support system – which I will talk about in a later post because it is really one of the more challenging parts of trying to productively manage difficult situations. Most people who read my posts on social media have no idea – they do not seem to get it at all. Also, posting online opens myself up to negativity. People can add to the problem with their opinions and comments, especially when the fight is hardest. So, I just have to be careful

[himluv]

Writer Questions!

I was tagged by the darling @joufancyhuh to answer some questions! Thank you so much for thinking of me!

1. How many works in progress do you have? A: Well... There’s Sanctified, which is only a few chapters away from being done! Santa Sarita: The Lost Sermons, which is just a collection of f!reyder oneshots, so it’s an on-going thing, and then there’s The Charlatan and the Coinshot, which I’ve actually finished writing, but won’t be posting for a while yet. 

As for original content... I’m editing one manuscript, with another queued behind it for edits, as well as writing a novel and a short story. I also do content and line editing on the side. 

2. Do you/would you write fan fiction? A: I do write fics!

3. Do you prefer paper books or ebooks? A: Paper, hands down.

4. When did you start writing? A: I wrote my first short story in second grade, and won a poetry contest that same year. Then I didn’t write again until the early 2000s when I discovered fandom and fanfiction.

5. Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with? A: Sure. I send my mom the rough draft of every original work of fiction, just so it exists somewhere in case my backups fail, and because she’s my biggest fan, haha. But, I also have a writing friend that I’m doing critiques with and I post fanfic regularly. I’m always open to sharing with other writers.

6. Where is your favorite place to write? A: I have an office, which is where I am most productive. But some days I’m restless and have to get out of the house to get anything done. On those days I sit at a coffee shop downtown.

7. Favorite book as a child? A: The Black Stallion books by Walter Farley. As a teen, Lucas by Kevin Brooks, which I still consider one of my top five books.

8. Writing for fun or publication? A: Both. Though, more for fun lately.

9. Have you taken any writing classes? A: Yes! I actually have an Academic Certificate in Creative Writing, which means nothing to employers, but everything to me. It was the best two years of my college days and I wish I could go back sometimes, just to enjoy the discussions and camaraderie I had then.

10. What inspired you to write? A: I’ve always been a strong writer, but I wanted to be a dancer/dance teacher when I graduated high school. I broke my foot, and though the surgery went well and I was able to dance again, I never really healed psychologically. My movement was never the same, my head and my heart just weren’t in it anymore. But, I needed that creative outlet. Writing was the lighthouse when I was lost at sea. I’ve never looked back.

Tagging @notebookalpha @joz-stankovich @lonyn @naiatabris and as usual, no pressure!

[angstymarshmallow]

Hey there! Do you mind to share any writing tips for writing poetry, fan fic, etc.? :) You're one of the amazing writers on the fandom ty!

Hey anon!

Hope it’s going well. Oh, thank you so much! And sure I mean, I’ll share what sort of works for me. Writing is sometimes like a dance and even when you’re not too sure about all the steps - they come with practice and time.Writing tips: In terms of writing there’s a couple good tips that already exists out there on tumblr and other places on the web, but since you asked for my personal opinion -  the most important thing I always tell myself when whenever writing is: 

It’s about showing, not telling. You want to be able to immerse your reader into your story, for fanfiction especially I find the emphasis lies heavily in the characters themselves and the focus isn’t so much on what they’re doing. But more so on showing how their dynamics work. More importantly, it’s showing how they feel about their circumstances, what they’re thinking and it should never feel overtly forced. Sometimes what you can’t say in dialogue is better expressed through gestures - hands shaking, a cracked voice, or the inability to stare at someone in the eyes - things like this for instance say a lot without really ‘saying’ anything. Coerce the readers and tell your story through your characters. In some ways, writing is a manipulative linear narration. It’s like a long winding road; because you are guiding your readers on a specific path and hoping they’ll enjoy it by the time they get to the end. 

Plot: Whenever I’m writing fanfiction or just anything in general - sometimes I’ve got a goal in mind and other times I am just writing little drabbles here and there (for the sake of writing) until I can come up with something substantial. Having a developed plot sometimes makes the better difference. Instead of having two characters in one position with a lot of dialogue and nothing else - having a goal in mind helps in telling their story. Well why are they sitting on the couch? What’s so important about what they’re doing? Why should I care? It helps to ask relative questions while writing, and seeing if you can come up with explanations as to why you chose that specific line of dialogue, or that specific setting etc. 

Emotional: Writing can be pretty emotional. Make them feel how your characters are feeling. Make them want to care. Sometimes I’ve been told my fanfiction is just that. I love getting feedback in general, but especially of that kind - where people tell me I’ve made them cry, or laugh or just I don’t know - made them feel something. Most of the time people are just looking for something they can relate to, or something they can sink themselves into. It’s a bit like falling in love. If your writing can be emotional within confines of what works for those characters - you should try that.

References: Any topic you want to tackle on takes a bit of research. Convince the audience you know exactly what you’re talking about when you write your pieces of fiction. For fanfiction, I always revert back to the source material and analyzing snippets of dialogues. I ask myself questions as to why they chose those specific lines for that specific character. It helps to have references to fall back on when you’re uncertain if characters are in or out of character.

Inspiration: Find something that inspires you - whether it’s people, quotes, music. Inspiration is really important in writing and it helps in keeping motivated. I cannot tell you how many ideas I’ve had to abandon because I didn’t feel inspired to finish.

Visualize what you want: A lot of what I write, I tend to see it like scenes playing out in a movie except I’m the only audience and I’ve got to somehow relate all that information to everyone else that hasn’t seen it yet. As cohesively as possible, you’re undergoing that task. For instance - sometimes, my writing can come off as quick and intense because it’s about being ‘in the moment’, or long drawn out and descriptive because I want you to see what I see. If you can visualize what you want to write, I think it’s a little easier to jot down your story on a page.

Practice, practice, practice: I cannot stress this enough. I’ve been writing fiction since I was a little kid and I don’t think I’ve reached where I need to be yet. The potential to be better and better at something can always be accomplished in practicing. The best advice I can really offer is keep doing what you’re doing. In general, things get easier with more time and dedication. In the beginning I really dreaded writing fanfiction in fear of writing people out of character I still worry about that but not so much, now I find myself not as anxious whenever I post. I feel a little less unsure, and a little more confident because I’ve been practicing what I think writing in a certain character’s voice is like. You can only overcome that kind of fear, and similar feelings like that if you’re constantly practicing and changing your perception. 

Writing poetry: Oh boy, I’m not sure if I can provide any insightful advice on this subject matter. I am by no means a poet - I used to write a lot more when I was younger than I do now. I think a lot of what I said in writing applies here too. Generally, I write poetry when I’m feeling a particular way - whether I’m happy, depressed, miserable, angry. It helps to have an outlet where I can just simply let go. To be honest, poetry really is just another way of telling a story and sometimes it’s an abstract way or sometimes a really specific way. It just depends on what your story is and how you want to say it.

Hope this helps anon! Thanks so much for dropping by, and thank you for the ask!

[aadmelioraa]

I really want to try and start writing some fan fiction. I really like writing but always struggle coming up with characters so fanfiction seems perfect for me to practice writing without having to stress on the characters. (And what characters do I know better than those of the 100?). Any advice?

Hey there, Anon! Sure, I’m happy to share what I’ve learned from my own fic writing experience, hopefully something here will be helpful to you!

I started writing fic very recently in the wake of the s4 finale. It’s been a creative outlet for me, and a way to emotionally cope with the hiatus as well as stress in my real life. I used to write a lot more (poetry and original stories mostly), then I had a few years in a terrible professional situation, and I gave up writing altogether.  I was putting myself last for about 3 years before I realized that was not sustainable and I had to sort out my priorities. Long story short, I switched jobs, started making more time for myself, and picked up writing fic as a form of self care.

I was on the fringes of t100 fandom for a while before I “officially” joined after the last season wrapped up. I didn’t read much fic until that point either, though I’d read a little here and there in other fandoms. I tend not to read much fic when I’m writing a lot, both because I don’t have time for it and because I want to preserve my own voice. I’m always happy to recommend other authors though! Check my #fic rec tag for lots of good stuff :)

When it comes to inspiration, if I get stuck (esp on a multi chap) I find it super helpful to switch gears and write something else entirely. Ask your followers for fic prompts, there are lots of great lists out there to choose from! Give yourself a time limit (say: an hour) to write ~1000 words, and see what you come up with. You might be surprised what you’re able to accomplish when you switch mental tracks, and often that allows your subconscious to get over the hurdle you were stuck on with your WIP.

Push yourself, but not too hard. Critique your work, but not during the writing process itself. If you’re stuck on something that can be fixed during editing (word choice, sentence structure, etc), make a note and move on so you don’t lose momentum. When it comes to editing, try to read your own work out loud, particularly dialogue. It’s a great way to make sure things flow naturally, and I always catch repetitive word use during this stage as well.

If you’re getting extremely frustrated at any point, take a step back. Ask a friend to beta for you, skip forward to another scene, or take a break from writing altogether. Don’t put too much value in the stats (hits, reblogs, comments), especially at first. Don’t be afraid to promote your own work, either! Self reblog, schedule, and queue your own work strategically to ensure your followers in any time zone have a chance to see your posts. Submit to @bellarkefanfiction when they have flash contests, its a great way to get exposure and challenge yourself.

Fanfiction is, at the end of the day, a form of fun and escapism. There are so many awesome writers involved in the 100 fandom, and a great diversity of content, but there’s always room for more! There can never be too much smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, etc. Not everything you write will be someone’s cup of tea, but if you’re enjoying yourself and benefiting from the process that’s enough to keep going for a while, in my book.

Which brings me to my last bit of advice: write what you want. There are certain tropes and AUs that I love, and others that I just don’t, but I write for myself, not anyone else. You gotta do you. Sometimes you might be writing for a niche audience, sometimes you may strike a chord that resonates with a larger portion of the fandom. As long as you’re doing what you love, it’s a win.

Those are all the tips I have off the top of my head! I’m not a professional writer by any means, but these are things that have helped me stay productive and satisfied with my own output. I hope something here will be useful for you! Good luck, welcome to the club, and happy writing :)

[theunaccomplishedwriter]

11, 15 and 18 for the author ask 😺

Thank you so much for the question @master-lux!

(For these Get to Know Your Author-Asks. :D

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

I like to think that my ability to set a scene has improved. I read at so many books and realise that my ability to paint beautiful mental images of settings and how people appear and act and think pales in comparison to theirs. Not only that by my use of metaphor and simile is woefully inadequate. But, not to be too negative, I think I have improved somewhat. 

Also, at least I hope, I have started to write in a more engaging manner. I stopped writing creatively for a long time and wrote many essays and articles that I almost forgot how to write in a way that wasn’t trying to prove or disprove an argument. I think I’ve managed to write more naturally or at least in a way that people find enjoyable, which is nice. :)

15) why did you start writing?

I’ve always enjoyed writing. I started writing what I suppose could be called ‘fanfictions’ when I was really young. But they were always about Thomas the Tank Engine and never any good. I even tried to write plays and novels when in school, all of which I look back on and cringe to know they exist and people have copies of them. 

But I stopped writing creatively for a long, long time. I wrote my own film, game and book review blog for years which was my writing outlet, but I wasn’t properly happy. I tried writing creatively during that time but I was never happy with anything and deleted so many works which varied from barely started to nearly completed. I was so afraid of my own inadequacy that I never gave my stuff a chance, despite reassurances that I could write and that I should at least try.

Weirdly, I guess I have to thank Zootopia for my creative writing coming back. After reading so many fanfictions I just thought, I could do this. I wrote a one off and, reasonably happy with it, I decided to publish. Although that fic hangs in limbo, I have moved on and I like writing again. I l do it now because I enjoy it and I have stories to tell. I don’t want to look back and regret that I never wrote anything despite my longing urge to write something. I just hope that I’m not deluding myself and that my writings means something, if not just to me.

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

While my reading has slowed down as of late, I have read vociferously and still try to keep up the habit. I’ll give you my top three things that affected my writing style and then I’m just going to give you some books that I adored and may or may not have affected how I write.

First and foremost is The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. For such a short book it packs so much beauty and power and complexity and tragedy yet somehow so much yearning hope which is unutterably awe-inspiring. I have read all of Fitzgerald’s novels and most his short stories and I hope to be one tenth as good a writer. The way he writes really speaks to me and I hope it’s come across in my works.

Second is Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck which I read in secondary school and was the only one in my English Literature class to keep loving this book after reading it stopped being compulsory. It’s a fantastic novella which is course and crude and brilliant and I hope Steinbeck has influenced me somewhere in my prose.

Finally I have Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar which I read when I was going through a bit of a depressive spell in University. I almost wept at how much I loved it and related to its themes again. I actually wrote a review which is still one of my favourite things I wrote which you can have a look at if you like. I have started to read her poetry too but I hope her visceral way of writing has seeped into my words too.

Okay, so those the works I hope have affected me the most, but here are some other stuff that may have affected me too. That and I just want to promote some great books.

1) J.D. Salinger - The Catcher in the Rye: Another book I read in college which although gets a bad rap for being pretentious is incredibly good and, even though written in the fifties, is still incredibly relate-able and fantastically written.

2) George Orwell - Nineteen Eighty-Four: A expertly written dystopian novel about totalitarianism which, although bleak, is both moving and soul-destroying and I encourage everyone to read it.

5)  Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird: I was given it as a present and I loved every word. The innocence and horror and racism that is in that book is still in the world today and it is both hopeful and crushing book in today’s world.

3) Ruth Ozeki - My Year of Meats: I love this book and couldn’t put it down. It is written from the perspective of two people and I hope it has helped me differentiate characters a bit more because Ozeki does it outstandingly well, as well as delivering an intensely gripping read.

4) Oscar Wilde - The Picture of Dorian Gray: I love this book because it allowed a devil to look like a saint in an almost Faustian way.

5) Jeanette Winterson - Oranges are Not the Only Fruit: My first proper exposure to LGBT literature and I crave more. It is written from the dreary North of Britain which I relate to as well as having so much more that makes it brilliant.

10) Seamus Heaney - The poem Blackberry Picking: I have no idea why it’s this poem but I love it intensely and has made me read poetry more consistently because I love the beauty and imagery. I hope I try to do that in my writing.

Thank you for the question and sorry for the obscenely long answer!

[semianonymity]

Dai cousin, YW anon here. Poetry is difficult, yes, and I've learned from my creative writing classes that what "is" or "isn't" poetry can be incredibly subjective. Louise Glück is a recent favorite of mine. She talks about gardening and God. If you like biology in poetry you may like her work. My manual would be a book of writing prompts. It might be interesting to explore your ordeal; mine definitely had something to do with interpersonal stuff. Tell me about a positive fandom experience!

The underlying structure for my poetry class in college was answering what poetry is! At the end of the semester, I argued strongly in favor of the functional answer: something is poetry when it is useful to treat it as poetry.

So, the lead in to that was my biodiversity class, which had a week-long segment on the definition of life, and specifically, if viruses were alive or not. (This ended up being the BEST discussion, at least in part because I am difficult, and the professor phrased it as “are viruses alive or dead,” and I had to point out that “dead” implies an alternate state of aliveness. You wouldn’t say a rock is dead, you would say it’s not alive. And then there was a 10-minute digression on phrasing. It was GREAT, and I am an awful pedant sometimes.)

And the answer is, obviously, both yes and no, depending on your definition of life and alive, but more importantly, which answer you use changes depending on the context. Is it useful to consider a virus alive? It depends on the question being asked. So that is, fundamentally, my view of poetry. Can you gain something by treating it as a poem? Then it is, if only for the sake of that one conversation.

...I really fundamentally came at all my English classes as a bio major, and it drove a number of my teachers to distraction. And I made at least one friend because, in her words, “you started up the class discussion by saying you wanted to talk about ants, and then you made it work.” 

(Ants are ALWAYS worth talking about when they show up in a text, especially in a class titled “Women & Literature.”)

I love Louise Glück! And should definitely read more by her. Any particular favorites? I think, from what I’ve read as of now, “Lamium” is my stand-out favorite.

As for a positive fandom experience - there are so many! I mean, really, cumulatively, fandom has probably saved my life. Having a zero-expectations low-anxiety social outlet with built-in positive feedback where I could write about feelings without having to write about my feelings, as a depressed, anxious, emotionally repressed 13-year-old, was literally life-saving.

In that context, I had someone (who I am still friends with, and adore) tell me that my fanfiction helped save her life, when she was depressed. And I think that is one of the more powerful moments I’ve ever had. To a lesser extent, every time I’ve been able to make something resonate emotionally with other people. That is so amazing!

[crowsent]

On Creativity

I’ve always liked writing. And since I’m working on bolstering my confidence, I’ll go ahead and say that I’m good at writing. I can use unique voices, switch perspectives, write decent fight scenes. By all means, I can write well.

But writing’s also a hobby. I don’t write because I have to. It ain’t an obligation. I’m allowed to enjoy what I do. I’m allowed to use words to escape this world and live in a different one, even for just a few precious moments. Forget Earth and forget me; I can be a Quirkless boy struggling with his identity, I can be a young woman struggling to master her Semblance, I can be a half-ghoul juggling my own concept of morality with a world that tells me that my existence is apprehensible.

I can be allowed to break away from the identity of LOSAS and be someone different.

Writing is fun for me. I enjoy it, I enjoy seeing ink on the page or words on the screen. I enjoy spinning out a thread and watching a tapestry come to life. And after years of doing it, that tapestry is pretty damn good. It’s got colours, clean lines, and a compelling vibrancy that makes others look.

But I’m not the only person who enjoys writing.

Someone might write and write and never be satisfied with what they create. John Doe can build a planet of ash and cinders and tear it all down because it’s grey and flat. Jane Doe can paint a human being and kill it in a single sentence because of a flaw that threw the whole story out of rationality.

Alex might spin a thread and create a tapestry of their own. But there is no life, no colour, and muddled stitches that obscure where the line ends and another begins.

And all these people should still be allowed to create.

Just because I’m good at writing doesn’t mean that I should be the only one allowed to write. It doesn’t mean that other good writers should only be the ones allowed to write.

We don’t have one giant inkwell and pen and pass it around like the olympic torch.

We SHOULDN’T have one giant inkwell and pen and pass it around like the olympic torch.

People should be encouraged to write. Everyone should write at LEAST one story just for kicks, shits, and giggles. Who cares if your story is about a majestic unicorn who discovered the meaning of friendship because of an overly persistent frog that sang off-key to them for three whole pages? Make your story about a soldier who had his entire family murdered and is out for revenge. Make it about your OTP making cookies at ass-o’clock in the morning.

WRITE.

For one, it encourages creativity and creativity, I think, is one of the most beautiful things about human beings. Sure, as a species we collectively fucked over the Earth, drove some species of animals and plants into extinction, and created a system that fucked up the economy and squandered the morality and softness of our people.

But we also created organizations to try and rectify these problems we created: wildlife preservation efforts, shelters, food drives. We break and we make our mistakes (HA) but we also try so so very hard to fix them and learn, and move forward.

Creativity, I think, is more than just building a planet of ash and cinders or creating your own human conjured from the depths of your mind. It’s self-expression, an outlet for you to express feelings that you normally wouldn’t be able to put into words.

For me, words are how I express my feelings. If I tried talking to an actual human being face to face, I’d accidentally bite my tongue and die over the pronunciation of the word “pronunciation”. But when I write, it’s easier. When I write, I can look at everything that’s wrong with our planet from an objective standpoint and simultaneously remind myself that it’s not the end.

I am much better with written words because it gives me time to think and revise. I can’t do that in real life. I can’t pause a conversation and proofread the absolute bullshit I am about to spew from my mouth.

But some people are much more comfortable with speaking. Where I express myself with flowery words and purple prose dense and loquacious to the point of idiocy, some people like to use their words, hear themselves speak to others and see the faces of everyone who listens to them.

There was a man I knew who we shall call ‘Vaughn’. Now, Vaughn wrote, not as much, not as confidently, but he wrote. He was always hesitant when sharing his writing. So was I, but that was a product of my social anxiety and not my lack of confidence in my work.

Vaughn did not have this social anxiety. He saw his work, his prose, and genuinely believed that it did not compare to others. Never said it aloud, but when he read prose, his feet fidgeted, he held the paper (or computer) in front of him to hide his face, and he spoke faster and faster, as if trying to get the words out so he wouldn’t have to speak. And when he finished, he’d sigh, nod and smile at the reception, and hurriedly urge all of us to go next.

That’s only for prose though.

Near the end of the year, he gave us all this big performance; slam poetry.

And let me tell you, I was fucking enthralled.

If I heard his poems on a street, his delivery, the way his voice shifted with every word and how he moved almost like I dance, I would fucking listen to every word. Even if I was late to work, or even if my arms were laden with groceries, I would fucking stand on that street and listen with my jaw on the floor.

Pretty sure I didn’t breathe during his performance. It was amazing. And he had a lot of fun. His leg wasn’t fidgeting, he didn’t cover his face. He owned it.

It’s obvious he has a passion for writing and performing, and speaking until his voice was hoarse.

And he was a damn creative man.

A creative man who, for some reason, felt like his prose wasn’t as good as his slam poetry. Which, okay, I’ll admit, I enjoyed the poetry better, but it didn’t mean that his prose was bad. It was just rough around the edges, like mine, like everyone in that class.

So I thought, why the fuck would a man this dedicated to his craft, this passionate about reciting a poem that grabbed my fucking soul and booked it, this excited to share with us his creation, feel as though his prose wasn’t good enough.

With his poem, he was very open to criticisms and praise alike. But with his prose, he seemed resigned and withdrawn, like criticism was the only option. Of course, I was curious and my social anxiety got strangled by my curiosity and it was silenced with a garotte because I just HAD TO KNOW.

When I asked if he would be doing anymore writing after that year, without that specific class pushing us to write everyday, he said, with the certainty and confidence of a man who had a noose around his neck: “Yeah, but I probably won’t write prose anymore.”

And his reasoning. The reasoning. “I’m not good at it.”

Okay. Fair enough. Some people don’t enjoy writing prose and prefer other forms of creative self-expression. Maybe he just prefers slam. Maybe he wasn’t that into prose.

But I heard this man, this beautiful, brilliant, creative man, go into a spiel about his work. How he planned to write it, the dark twists he’ll take. His one goal in prose was to make his writing creepy and edgy. And he was so fucking excited about it. Big smile, bright eyes, the excited hand movements that almost took out my glasses in a one hit knockout.

I refuse to believe that a man this excited to talk about his work wasn’t interested in writing.

That got me thinking: why in the fuck would he stop doing something he clearly enjoyed doing?

The question eventually shifted to this.

Why do people stop creative pursuits?

Why do people stop writing angsty poems and edgy creepypastas?

Why do people stop making up silly songs in the shower?

Why do people stop painting their rainbow sparkly OCs?

Why do people stop OC/Canon shipping?

Why do people stop cosplay?

Why do people stifle their creativity?

This of course, ties back to the first paragraph I’ve written. I enjoy writing. I’m good at writing.

John and Jane and Alex enjoy writing. They don’t live up to the standard others have for “good” writing.

I am encouraged to keep updating that fanfic I have.

They are encouraged to stop. Find something they can do better. Move on.

Why does my writing, considered good by other people, give me a pass to keep writing while others who don’t meet that standard are encouraged to stop?

It makes absolutely no sense. A crab doing the macarena makes more sense than that. A cheetah that’s slower than a snail crawling through molasses makes more sense than that.

Why should we stop people from creating? From exploring their minds and expanding on their interests?

Why is it, that when it comes to writing, or drawing, or sewing, or literally any creative pursuit, we only endorse it when the person is “good?”

If creativity is about self-expression, then the quality shouldn’t matter. I should be allowed to write even if the first word I ever put to page is “Y’all’d’ve.” If I want to make my fanfic about my OC being swept off her feet by a hunky, glittery vampire, then by all fucking means, I should be allowed to write.

No one should be telling me to stop writing.

Creativity is a part of us, something intrinsic and unique and just as integral to our development as a person. It doesn’t have to be writing either.

Someone singing terribly off-key to their favourite song at a karaoke bar should be allowed to sing off-key to their favourite song.

Someone who makes cat-shaped cookies and had the batch come out like a monstrosity from hell should still make cat-shaped cookies if they want to.

Someone who writes with shifting tenses, has no concept of verb choice, and utterly butchers canonical characterizations should still be allowed to write.

As someone who does write fanfiction (plus other things) and publish them, feedback is important to me. Without it, I can’t grow as a writer, and I enjoy talking to all the people who take the time to comment on my latest work.

But I am not obligated to keep up the quality or coherency or consistency of my fics.

If, at some point, I decided to take the plot in a direction way the fuck out of left field, I can do that. I owe no one an apology. I wrote the fanfic, I choose to do what I want with it.

It’s terribly unfair for people to commandeer what I can and can’t do with my writing just as it’s unfair for people to commandeer what people can and can’t do with their creativity.

Let’s take singing.

I enjoy singing. I like to sing. I enjoy taking popular songs and butchering it to hell and back.

I am not a good singer.

I can’t hit high notes.

I can’t hold notes.

I have next to no control over my voice.

But I love to sing. And I should be allowed to sing. Just like how John and Jane and Alex should be allowed to write.

We look at Creativity not as something to do for fun, but as something to do for productivity. Why bother creating your own alien planet if it’s full of inconsistencies? Fuck all your feelings and the happy endorphins releasing in your head, this planet’s not good enough.

Fuck that OC you just wrote out the whole backstory for, it’s too damn edgy and not written with enough nuance.

Yeah fuck you.

At no point in time should you ever attempt to police a person’s creativity. It’s something that’s for THEM to explore. To discover. To enjoy.

Think of all your favourite shows, your favourite music, your favourite plays. All of that happened because of creativity and hard work. You see critically acclaimed novels with the accolades and praises. You don’t see the first draft with the dozens of lines rewritten in red ink. You don’t see the first drafts with entire pages crossed out.

People don’t churn out masterpieces in a day.

And even if they did, that should not be the standard. There shouldn’t be any standard to creativity.

If you want to try out knitting for the first time and end up with a mess, then congratulations! you tried out knitting for the first time. If you enjoyed it, then go make yourself another knitted item. Clothing. I don’t knit so I wouldn’t know.

People should stop assigning value to their creative pursuits. Sure, it’s fun when people give your compliments, but it’s also fun to let loose and just enjoy yourself.

I just talk about writing a lot, because it’s what I’ve done for years and something I can do confidently. I’m not perfect, there’s still some bumps, but if you ask me if I can write better than I can draw, I will nod my head so damn fast it’s going to roll of my shoulders.

That said, I should still be absolutely allowed to draw even though it’s been 84 YEARS AND I STILL DON’T KNOW HOW TO DRAW A HAND

Creativity is something that we should embrace. Even if what we create doesn’t turn out ‘good’ or if we’re not happy with it, we should still create and create and create.

It’s a good stress relief. It opens up our minds to new worlds, new possibilities, new passions, new hobbies. It can be used to talk to people. It can be used to improve yourself as a person. It can be fucking used for unorthodox solutions to some of your problems. Thinking outside the box.

And even though I can not, for the life of me, hit a single god damn note in Hamilton’s ‘Satisfied’, I will still sing the fuck out of it when it comes on in my playlists.

And even though Vaughn’s prose didn’t flow as well as his slam poetry, he should still continue to write if he enjoyed it.

It’s not about being good at it. It’s about having fun while you do it.

TL;DR: Let people be creative

[veridium]

Why do you write?

Goodness this could be answered with a 3-5 page paper. I suppose the succinct answer would be that I always have? I mean, once I learned how to do it, of course. But ever since I was in the second grade I have been a daydreamer and wrote stories like I needed them to breathe. My 2nd grade teacher – one of the most important teachers and people in my life – used to tell my parents he couldn’t wait to read my first book one day. He was so encouraging for me as a creative student, and it was due to his influence and several other teachers throughout my primary education that I pursued it. 

Then I went to college and started to practice it as an academic. Writing became a way to exercise my intellect and passion for Feminist and Queer studies. I dropped creative writing for a long time (with the exception of spoke word and poetry) to dedicate my energies towards school. 

Now I do both! I write academic papers and articles, I write poetry, and I write fanfiction. The bottom line is writing has always been both a coping mechanism and an outlet for me. I am a very imaginative and visual person, and writing helps me expend that energy and create something tangible out of it! Storytelling, transporting someone to another world mentally, conveying emotions that seem isolated – that is the best part of writing. And I adore it as much as I need it to survive. 

Thank you for asking, sweet anon! Hope you’re well!

get to know the blogger

[bowtomypointlesswords]

I want to know everything!!!!!! 1-6, 12-17, 23-26, 30, 33, 34, 40 (Link an AO3, Wattpad, etc. if you have one), 41, 52-54. Thanks in advance.

Wow you really do want to know everything! Goodness, well I hope I don’t disappoint haha! Thanks for the ask!1. Favorite place to write.My favorite place to write is anywhere I can be wholey alone. I tend to do most writing at night, late.2. Favorite part of writing.My favorite thing about writing is escaping into my own worlds. I like being able to get away from my stresses and write fluff or get my anger out in a fight scene.3. Least favorite part of writing.I hate that feeling where you want to write but when you pull up the document it just stares at you and the little line blinks and eventually you just close the program and feel sad…4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?I carry a notebook everywhere with me. I may not use it often but it’s always in my purse in case I need it. I also have both Google Drive and Evernote on my phone for access to all of my documents.5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most.Brian Jacques (The Tales from Redwall), and Barbra Park (Junie B. Jones) were a big part of my childhood. Scott Westerfield (Uglies), and E.D. Baker (The Frog Princess) were also influential. More recently Douglas Addams (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy), Edgar Allen Poe (The Tell Tale Heart, Nevermore, The Caske of MonteCristo… others) and Michael Scott (The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel) have been big for me.6. Favorite character you ever created.Oh gosh this one is hard… You’re asking me to choose between my babies here! Uh, my favorite is the Mob Boss Katlin Taylor from Resist. I don’t know what it is about her. Maybe it’s the Irish accent… Maybe it’s the fact she can kill people without ruining her mascara or breaking a sweat… maybe it’s the fact she’s crazy hot and still powerful, smart, and still cares a great deal about the little people…12. How do you deal with self-doubts?I’m lucky I have a very supportive mother. She helps. When she’s not around I tend to take breaks. I step away from it for a few days, I reread when I come back and remember I don’t suck.13. How do you deal with writers block?I find someone to talk it out with… this has on occasion been myself in an empty room talking to a stuffed animal or my cat. It has also been a living person I trust (I.E. my mother.) I’ve also taken breaks as stated above. You have to let ideas breathe sometimes. Sometimes showers help. All the oxygen really gets the brain going.14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?I have delved deep. I want to do my characters and my readers justice. I’ve researched PTSD, I researched multiple personality disorder when one of my characters had that even though that idea was ultimately scrapped. I’ve looked at the effects of drugs, the price of various goods in various markets, I looked into Mongolian culture when I made my Mongolian character Ghoa. I always try to be thorough and thoughtful.15. Where does your inspiration come from?Everywhere. No really. Everywhere. Books, movies, plays, music, random conversations I overhear at restaurants, people watching in the park… I watched the new Oceans 8 this weekend and was inspired to work on a fanfic I’ve barely touched in months.16. Where do you take your motivation from?An inner drive… I can’t not write. I don’t really know where it comes from, I just have to write.17. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?Lately? Maybe 100 words a day…? I’m in a slump and struggling to crawl my way out of it. I don’t really keep track of how many words I write a day anyway though. I just write until I hit a block. Could be four words could be 1000, I never know.23. Single or multi POV, and why?Single. I find multi POV to be disorienting as a writer and as a reader sometimes being in too many heads drags me out of the story. That said I’ve read good books that were multi POV.24. Poetry or prose, and why?Oh goodness, uh… I like both but can’t write Poetry very well (at least in my opinion, others tend to disagree) prose is fun for me, I like getting flowery and testing my vocabulary skills.25. Linear or non-linear, and why?Both and here’s why. Writing Linear is great. You follow the story as it progresses. Until you get stuck for 6 months because you can’t get through the current scene because you don’t really want to write it and want to skip ahead to X scene. Non Linear is great too. You get to write all the fun stuff first. You get to explore outside your plot line a bit more. You can also get super lost and forget the plot.26. Standalone or series, and why?Ahahaha I’ve tried so hard to keep books simple. They almost always turn into big long series… I don’t know how or why.30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.Oh no… uh… well it’s less a line and more just a word and its description… “Marfing: the combination of the words Muffled and Barking, used to describe a sound, such as a small dog being stuffed inside a coat and barking to be let out.”33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing?Sometimes I do. Other times I can’t handle having it on, usually if I have to really think hard about something.34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?Both as I said above, I have both a physical notebook on hand at all times and my phone for accessing docs and evernote.40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?Both! I write both. My Fanfic.Net account is LadyAugust (I’m on mobile and can’t link right now but as soon as I’m on my laptop I can message you a link.) I currently have 2 stories for the same video game, with lots of added in extras and plenty of chapters if you’re bored. The second one is still in progress, and there’s another to be finished after that one…41. How many stories do you work on at one time?Too many. I have so many ideas buzzing around my brain… I believe the current total of stories I’ve developed and begun writing on is up to at least 10 now. But I’m focusing on 3 currently (not counting fanfics)52. How did writing change you?Writing gave me an outlet. It made me conscious of issues and personal microaggressions. It showed me that I needed to be better.53. What does writing mean to you?Writing has always been a part of me. I was 4 when I started telling stories. I was in 7th grade when I started writing everyday. I never stopped. My mom says it runs in the family. She’s an artist and writes sometimes, my grandmother is an artist and makes quilts… writing also gave me a safe place to deal with my parent’s divorce, it let me deal with my anger and grief, it helped me understand my anxiety, it helped me vent my pain. Writing is my safe haven. Without it I’d be a mess… well more of a mess…54. Any writing advice you want to share?Writing is hard. It’s easy to look up tips and be discouraged or to change how you write thing… but honestly all writing advice is subjective, and it’s all just opinions. Seriously, I used to get so worried sick over including things or not including things, I used to worry about everything I wrote… now I take writing advice less seriously. Some is good, tips on how to write characters you may not be used to writing like Writing With Color here on tumblr, but those “never use said” or “no one smirks in real life” tips can go burn in the garbage fires they came out of imho. But that’s just my two cents.Whew, that was a lot… thanks again for the ask!

[theheatheraesthetic]

Is Technology Giving Me Anxiety? (Or is it capitalism)

As soon as I wake up in the morning, I roll over to check my phone. Ever since I got a phone as a teenager, checking my phone has evolved into my body’s instant anxiety filled response to waking up-- I jerk awake and check the time, even if I’ve set an alarm. Then I make sure no one has texted me, because seeing a bunch of missed texts means that I have missed something big happening (and, let’s be honest, I always assume someone has died if I see more than 5 missed texts.) Finally, I check my bank account to make sure I haven’t overdrawn somehow, even if I know for certain I had plenty when I went to sleep.

Based on how many times a day I check my phone and how many hours I spend on my laptop, someone could probably argue that technology is causing me anxiety. There is no doubt that I am dependent on technology; I prefer interacting digital text on a daily basis. This has given me a unique perspective on how my relationship with digital literacy both improves my life by making things easier, and makes it harder because its absence causes me anxiety. This isn’t because I’m addicted to social media, though-- its because I know that without my technology, I can’t make money, and without money I will die.

When I was just starting college, I once asked my mom why she didn’t get on social media more. At the time, I didn’t have a job-- I had a full ride scholarship and I was focused on school work. I think that I wanted to connect with her in more ways than making a phone call every two weeks. What she said was this:

“I spend all day every day lookin at screens. What makes you think I wanna come home and look at another?”

I didn’t understand the sentiment then. I loved my computer, and loved being on it even after I was done with work for the day. Why didn’t she feel the same way?

My mom works for Acxiom, and I don’t really understand what she does, but I know it has to do with data. My sister also works for Acxiom, and I don’t know what she does either, but I know she takes conference calls all day. My brother works in two jobs, and I know they are physical. They all say they are proud of me for going to college, while in the same breath say welcome to the real world when I talked about being stressed. I used to feel like they don’t really understand what I do, either, until I took a year off and started working.

I feel like something shifted in our family relationship as our focus on literacy became more focused on what we read in the workforce, leaving little to no time for reading for pleasure. When I was a kid, I felt such connection with my mom and siblings when it came to books and reading. They taught me how to read, and I taught them to regret it by demanding we do it all the time. We loved Harry Potter, and I remember listening to the audio books late into the night with my sister in our shared room. Even when our tastes started changing-- my brother got into sci-fi, my sister into poetry and romance, and I grew into horror-- we still talked about what we were reading, with mom interacting when she could between her two jobs. My sister and I wrote poetry together. My brother and I started a paranormal research club. We didn’t have cell phones or a home computer when we were kids, so I guess it makes sense that our free time would be focused on print reading.

Once I got a computer as a teenager, I spent more time on it than any print book, partially because it was easier to read on a screen with my dyslexia, but mainly because suddenly I had a community of peers who also liked the same weird stuff I liked and actually wanted to read what I wrote. I isolated myself from my family-- my siblings were growing up and moving out, caring less and less about books and more about making money. It’s obvious to me now how selfish that was of me, but at the time I didn’t know the constant struggle to make ends meat. In my head, I thought I was being abandoned, that I had nothing in common with my family, and I felt very alone alone. This caused me to look for a new “family” who was interested in what I read and wrote. I loaded up on coursework in high school, and spent all my time working on homework and reading  and writing fanfiction to blow off steam.  In some ways, that was a great thing for me-- when I started to write fanfiction, I got the validation I needed to inspire me to go to college and study creative writing.

After I graduated with my Bachelors, I was vaulted into the workforce, and I suddenly understood why my mom didn’t want to be on her computer when she got home. Working in insurance and retail was nothing like academia-- it makes your body tired, but your brain feels stagnant. Suddenly, I hated the idea of going home and reading, because I was forced to read things that did not interest or engage me all day. I just wanted to lay down and shut my brain off. It’s not like you can quit if you don’t like your job, either-- you have to pay bills, you have to eat, you have to survive. Work, as much as it sucks, has to come first, even before mental health. You have to focus on making money before you can relax, and stare at those screens all day until you get sick of them.

This is why I decided to go back to get my Masters degree in Professional Technical Writing, despite my initial disinterest in the field. I wanted to be able to find a job that would engage me, like an editorial position, that would also give me financial security.  I would like to remind everyone that that you also need to have an outlet for that stress; you need to give yourself a way to wind down after a long day by doing something you like. My moms outlet is television and Netflix. My brother has his video games. My sister has her family time. In my case, I still have my fan-fiction.