#Feeling the same feels awful
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How’s life? No pressure question ofc, but if you want to share please feel free to do so with this ask :3
Eh, it doesn't feel all that great right now. I'm tired and hungry a lot, but I just have to get a routine together. My sleep has been wonky, I've been waking up too early, but I feel fine then but it also feels like I can't rest completely- I have dreamless nights mostly. And I also just get annoyed a lot, but it feels better being around people I like.
#my father is upset today too cause I couldn't hang out with him#I talked to a social worker at school a few days ago just for check in and in my opinion I still feel bad even talking to her#it's been a rough week and I'm not sure what to do except deal with it and move on#I like to draw still#I dont want to get tired of it#I mean at least I'm doing productive things like laundry and showering#I'm gonna have spaghetti today that's a good thing#I'll have clean sheets for my bed that's good too#I got presents a day earlier and that's good#I like listing the positives#It kinda gives me ideas for writing#I really wanna eat all these positive things i mean the feeling it gives me in itself#I really love the good things I don't ever want to lose them#I'm actually gonna try to make a doll bunny today#I got dug up old fabrics in my room so I can experiment with something new#I'd list more good things but I'd sound kinda weird doing that in the tags#I should probably journal again but my mind blanks when I try but I'll figure it out#I mean poetry and fanfiction is always an outlet#I gotta practice that more often#There still a ways to go in life so obviously it'll change eventually it always does#And it's only one of many weeks so I can't be too doubtful#It can't always be the worst#Feeling the same feels awful#No matter the emotion it kinda turns numb if you feel it long enough#Days are always changing though since everybody is doing different things everyday all the time#Like most say 'it gets better' eventually#I guess I can wait for a good day#I have no choice sooo I'll let whatever happen#Well technically I can make it happen#I'll feel better when I made myself dinner and cleaned my bed and put away my laundry and put on fuzzy socks and go to sleep
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Michael and Vanny had wild teen years in FNAF
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#vanessa fnaf#fnaf vanny#micheal afton#security breach#fnaf 4#fnaf fanart#MORE OF Vanny and Michael hanging out 🔥🔥#I like to think both Michael and Vanessa were problem kids#just part of that alt emo moody scene#makes sense seeing both their teen years were pretty complicated#Vannesa finds the photos cute! Think they could of gotten along#if they were born around the same time and all#while Michael believes he’d been awful#he’s definitely more embarrassed about these old photos#I HOPE yall like Vanessa’s teen design!!#I had a lot of fun designing a younger look for her..#her being a scene girl just feels so right#Hope I got both Michael and Vanessa’s vibes right 🩵💜
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MALALA
#every time I remember we’re the same age I feel awed but also inspired I think she is so Neat Cool Beautiful Inspirational ANYWAY#Malala
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there’s something extremely extremely creepy about taking an actor that you have known since they were 13 years old, only JUST a teenager, and making them kiss a fully grown woman the second that they turned a legal adult.
Steve Blackman already has a ton of shit out against him which came out recently so it unfortunately doesn’t surprise me that he would write something like this but it makes me genuinely concerned for everything behind the scenes.
There has been a HUGE problem in the Umbrella Academy fandom since season ONE when Aidan was a 13-14 year old of people writing insanely disgusting stuff and defending it because his character was mentally an adult but oh my god did they make it worse. You’d think they’d protect actor & character by avoiding any romantic interaction but instead you have him kiss an actress 15 years older than him. The age gap being the age that he was when they filmed season two. Quite honestly I feel that if he could’ve done this seasons previously and gotten away with it then he definitely would’ve done it, given the jokes that are actively made.
Quite honestly may Steve Blackman never work again if this is how he treats his actors because this is awful. I’m not even done with the season but that gave me very little desire to continue and this show has been important to me in ways I can’t explain. Maybe I am blowing this out of proportion but it feels so insanely creepy and horrific to me and I needed to rant.
#I could get into a whole thing about aidans dad being weird too#idk the vibes about that dude make me worry indefinitely#he seems to be very alone and have an awful system around him#i hope the best for him truly#i see people going off in the tags about him being a zionist but this proves my point of him having a horrible system around him#it’s well known his dad controls his social media and the dad posted the exact same thing + went off on his own account about it all#which is what i mean by the first tag#the system he is in seems to be awful and continuously harmful all around#and until we get any actual comments from him verbally then id refrain from calling him that#personally at least. i just feel its a very complex situation#five hargreaves#five hargreeves#the umbrella academy#the umbrella academy spoilers#tua#tua spoilers#umbrella academy spoilers#ua spoilers#spoilers#aidan gallagher
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Thinking about his brain
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#fanart#doodle#He spends like all of his time irrationally terrified of going back to poverty#this was inspired by a panel change I had to make to the next comic im working on teehee teehee#originally I was going to have a funny gag of him describing how awful he felt#but I decided to change it because like. He would never admit that he felt bad#feeling bad is a sign of weakness. a sign of failure. a sign that he needs to try harder#like its not just Devs problems he's ignoring. he treats his own body pretty awfully too#not to write that entire thing off as a trauma response tho hes still objectively awful for not listening to his sons wishes#and he wouldn't have done the same if his own leg got as severely injured.#Having a leg amputated is scary he would have tried to salvage it#then again that is still arguably his fucked up version of love#I have thoughts ok!!!#he is so traumatized
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He was just being a silly little guy!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#wen ruohan#nie mingjue#lan xichen#JGY's character is the zigging and zagging guy of all time#We love a little meow meow that can bite and scratch and kill you.#We also love a little meow meow that can mewl pathetically!#'He's evil now and torturing his former friend?" ZAG TIME: He's a spy and feels soooo awful about it!!#ZIG TIME: He (probably) didn't need to go that deep into the role and kill as many people as he did.#Something I really love about the sworn brother trio is how they reflect how our feelings distort our perception of others.#Lan Xichen represents how when we love/care about someone -anything they do can be endearing. They aren't manipulative: they are clever.#Its less about rose tinted glasses and more about reframing every look you get of them. The constant justifications you make for them.#They just need a space to be loved! “They care for me so I will stand by them no matter what to show them I'm there for them!”#While NMJ represents how when you dislike someone - Everything they do is an affront or proof of their foul character.#Everything is a sign. Everything is 'proof' they are just as awful as you want them to be. Every 'good trait' is twisted.#The problem is that most people are just human. They are flawed and they are capable of good and bad things.#Meng Yao's motivations are very complex. Yet he's extremely human all the same. He isn't the saint nor the monster of the story.
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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07/01/2024
a month left and i'm not panicking (i am)...! sorry to juxtapose beautiful flowers with a cursed picture of memorizing crim at like 3 am lmao. hope everyone's having a lovely summer and good luck to those who are also studying over the summer ! summer study squad🌞📚, let's go!!! may we be blessed with good grades, passing scores, and a stress-free autumn🙏
#i also got a haircut so my hair is no longer this long :-(#the only thing that makes me feel better is thinking about how much i got done in a month and now i have the SAME amount of time left#peep my new lamy safari!!#i am going to post about it - i just haven't had the time to take a pic of it in action#it was sooo scratchy and awful at first but i got a replacement nib and switched inks so it flows a lot better now <3 still kinda uncomfy#study#tea-tuesday#mine#studyblr#studyspo#study inspiration#studying#study motivation#b*r pr*p
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GRAY AND BLUE ⋆˚
one thing about michael kaiser is that he will let you plop down onto his lap whenever and wherever. he loves the feeling of your body pressed against his and your hands in his hair. simply adores having you close, chest-to-chest.
and if it's been a particularly hard day for you, he'll drag you into his arms and let you just sit on his lap, face pressed against his chest/neck. he won't say anything, won't do anything cheeky or stupid because he just wants you to know that he's there.
he's more than willing to listen, more than willing to cheer you up, but sometimes he knows that a long hug and a comforting presence is enough to turn an awful day into a happy one.
and if you want, he'll turn on the bath for you. he'll sit patiently by the tub, just simply being there with the gentlest touches and softest smiles. sure, there are minimal words, but his gestures speak volumes. they are more than enough to show his love.
when you finally soak in his warmth, he'll poke your nose. he wants to see you smile more than anything, and when you do, just know that he'll feel like the happiest man on earth.
"there's my baby. i've missed that pretty smile."
#ive had an awful day and needed something comforting so to those of you who are feeling the same way– i hope mikka can boost your spirits#blue lock x reader#blue lock imagines#blue lock fluff#michael kaiser x reader#michael kaiser imagines#kaiser x reader#kaiser imagines#michael kaiser fluff#michael kaiser x y/n#michael kaiser x you#bllk x female reader#bllk x y/n#bllk x you#bllk x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock headcanons#kaiser fluff
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DAY 71: shy
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#isabeau isat#isat spoilers#i'll never get over loop being described as 'shy'. what a wonderful image#top one casual remarks from isabeau that cleaves loop's facade#like loop's personality is just a targeted missile to piss siffrin off. they're not at all confident and snarky#they're doing like the physical manifestation of winning an argument against yourself in the shower#second they see the party though Oopsies we're in scary territory. That's your family and they dont know it's you Oops#ok anyways ever since i saw that post i was like damn. this is just how i view loop in party postcanon#for as much as I think they SHOULD go explore around and be their own person for a while i think realistically they would not do that.#theyre going to go be a weird freak hovering around the party and refusing to socialize with anyone but siffrin and theyre gonna feel awful#(read: they're going to antagonize siffrin and it fails tremendously bc now The Rumor Come Out and siffrin knows what loop is doing.)#like loop as much as they can barely stand to even look at isabeau (for instance) i think their claws are sunk far too deep in.#onehats maybe the circumstances are different because there is a gap in understanding. there's no point forcing siffrin to confront the#obvious conclusion that loop is them (and thus siffrin's happy ending nails loop's coffin)#(THIS IS IGNORING TWOHATS PREREQS GOTTEN ONEHATS. BC THATS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS)#but twohats. idk. for as much as it lets loop release some of their rage and process their feelings a bit. i think it might also be the pus#that makes loop consider their own existence as a person a bit more. theyre not a sponsor->corpse theyre just loop#theyre just somebody who wants desperately. they want to stay with them#theyre still siffrin. if also loop.#i think loop would force themself to reconnect with the party in the same vein as siffrin forcing himself to communicate more.#but of course having conviction and living an experience are not the same thing. so siffrin's going to flounder the emotional honesty thing#tremendously and loop's going to be. blair witching it in the corner.#hey i might have forgotten which post i was writing the tags under. oopsies#idk if these tags are comprehensible at all. i just really want to see loop fail upwards into friendship with everyone
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Day 2
"Has he done this before?"
#sorry i was feeling lowkey awful yesterday#and most of this day#so i finished this one a little late#but it turned out better than i expected#asoiaf#fan art#a song of ice and fire#asoiaf fanart#asoiaf art#my art.#eddard stark#ned stark#cersei lannister#nedsei#i don't ship them but i like this scene#it shows ned's kindness#February 2024 Romance Drawing Challenge#i think we all thought about the same scene for this one lol
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So, so many queer people, I've noticed, can put themselves in precarious situations wherein they feel accepted by people and the queer person would do anything for those who accept them, even if it is harmful to them, even if it is scary. It feels like you are indebted to those who accept you because you know that isn't the case for every person you meet. To so many queer people, they are afraid to upset others who accept them (or "accept" them) because they are so scared of rejection. This is completely human and completely normal. But that doesn't mean you deserve to be taken advantage of. You deserve to be treated as an equal because you inherently are an equal - to everybody.
Please know that the people who truly, truly respect and care for you will understand when you can't do everything. They will still respect you, because you are a human being. Saying "no" is neutral at worst. You deserve to honour yourself, too.
#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#i felt this (and feel this) so hard as a trans person and i think that can easily become dangerous...#...because saying 'no' is vital i think. it's something i am so bad at in part because of my queerness and not feeling accepted by it...#...and yes we are responsible for this part of ourselves but also... it does make you vulnerable#genuine support is very important but that isn't the same as being indebted to people for being accepting you know?#i just worry for other queer people who also feel this way and i just want us all to feel more confident in our place and what we deserve...#...because we deserve good things! we deserve to let others down without worrying that we are terrible awful people who won't be accepted
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Look what came through the mail today! The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.
Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much, they are that much worth mentioning.
#letterstoear#nui#twst#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#malleus draconia#twst grim#mod posting#okay but i love squishing the bears with my thumb; they just have the right thickness to be pressed on#i really like the flower stickers; they look like romantically artistic wax seal#the letters are pleasantly nice#i love the part where cheka personally request for an audience with yuu thru sebek 🥺🥺🥹🥹 too cute hnggh .......#sebek becoming our little mailman for our little invitation aw 🥹 for those who wanna know the context of the letter;#i requested a letter from sebek that he sent home while he was away accompanying malleus on other country duty#my other favorite part is just him simply opening the letter with 'My love'#i'm sealed 🥹 the first paragraph is written so sweetly#i enjoy reading the letter slowly outside in peaceful afternoon today; i ran it through together with sebek nui#this will be my treasured keepsake from now on 🥹; it seriously made me miss letters and wish i have someone to send this kind of letter to#it was a bit funny how the envelope sebek's letter came from is sticked with the guys from free! sticker fhsdsh 🤣😂#and me with the white haired guy like WHo are u?? fsjdsdjsd (´つヮ⊂); but it's a really nice service#the thank you letter came with such a cute and yummy folding paper; thank you for the stickers too#i feel like there's a bit whoopsie on grim's winky eye fshfh like i think the sharpie just blurs the separating space '<' supposed to have#and just combine it all together into one angry eye; and sebek bear's eyes are just a little bigger than i expected it to be#but the more i look at them i think they are just having a little individuality & still cute#i embraced it all together while knowing the fact none of handmade thing would always be the same one with the other; hehe sebek nui has fr#i kinda forget that there's this kind of clip earring fshd; because i always get the ones that work like screw from aliexpress#i know that the literal clip one would just be literal meaning of pain fsh; just like the magnet one my father once got me when i was a kid#it was painful but pretty; tho i lost it quickly bcs magnet easily get loosed once one part of it moves around when u touch ur hair or face#anyhow i had a pleasant day because of this; thank you very much ! sebek nui said 'thank you' too! ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. ❀ ✿ 𖤣…
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astarion origin playthrough worth it just for all the extra moments where he does the "sad wet cat" face
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#thoughts about media#astarion#*kisses his forehead* my awful little bastard man... i love you and your big sad watery eyes.#IT'S SO FUCKING QUIET THOUGH IF YOU YOURSELF ARE PLAYING HIM GOOD LORD#I'M SO USE TO HIM COMPLAINING TO MY TAV!!!!#OR BANTERING WITH HIM OR KARLACH OR WYLL!!!#I MISS HIS THEATRICS!!!!!!!#not that it's ENTIRELY quiet. until i found karlach i was travelling with shadowheart lae'zel and gale.#and let me tell you. gale and lae'zel do NOT shut the fuck up if they are together.#they were literally having an entire tinder date while we were trecking through the woods to go get karlach.#i NEVER knew they talk so much because while i've travelled with them individually in past saves...#...i've NEVER had them in my party at the same time!#gale is actually pretty nice to lae'zel! he asks a lot of questions but doesn't condescend her as he does others sometimes.#that's probably because he's afraid of her though. I would be too were I nothing more than a wizard with 8 strength.#I do like how you can look at pretty much any two companions and get a well written and generally enjoyable dynamic!#It feels like they considered that a lot of people would want to maybe pair off the companions they didn't romance with each other!#and wanted it to be easy for really any pairing to work... if a person just paid attention to their shared interactions.
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re the first three tlovm s3 episode title teaser fr. vex getting [redacted] while standing in front of percy . i will undoubtedly have Thoughts about plot n adaption once the whole season is out but i will say people acting like vex potentially dying again is a betrayal of the arc is . i say this politely. ridiculous. vex’s most common habit aside from haggling and flirting in campaign 1 was being knocked unconscious. she required full ass resurrection spells on four separate occasions. we currently have no idea what the shape of any arc in season 3 will look like beyond broad strokes and teasing shots. if they end up wanting to incorporate the exandrian magic lore of it’s harder to come back each time you die, vex seems like the obvious opportunity to do so. please at the very least save the panic posting for when you actually have something to panic about .
#maybe this is just my ‘that’s my favourite character. i’d love to see them Die’ syndrome#but i see vex get shot i start jumping up and down and clapping. yes . yes#potentially exploring vex’s feelings on dying explicitly in the show whereas laura did it fairly subtly/internally with vex’s choices#in the campaign? i’d love to see it. potentially both vex and percy dying and getting sent to hell by ripley’s cursed gun and getting the#Where Do The People I Kill Go convo earlier?#i Would miss the true loves nat 20 don’t get me wrong. but i also think that moment hits so hard Because of the At A Table-ness of it#part of the moment isn’t just vex pleading with percy. it’s laura appealing to tal’s sense of story. it’s laura managing to break notable#Rare Crier Sam Riegel. it’s the fact that it’s a dice roll and travis encouraging matt to look and matt’s awed ‘i believe it’#and i think dialogue wise there’s some stuff with the speech itself that might not be super well suited as writing choices#versus when it was improv.#idk man i just. i’m big on letting mediums play into what mediums play into. telling the same story in different mediums is nonsensical 2 me#how you meet a story is Part of the story#tlovm spoilers#kind of#critical role
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Ken, it's too early to give yourself a mid life crisis and worry too much 🙃
#i survived my viva bitch now back to my brainrot#ACTUALLY IM SO HAPPY I GINALLY GET TO DRAW AND DESIGN KEN FOR THIS AU WAGSSHSKAK#i mentioned this again so anyway in this AU both Shinji and Ken lives in the same foster home#Shinji's kind of protective over Ken because he really has trouble cozying up with the other kids#and tends to be alone most of the time#but just like everyone in this AU (and canon to a certain degree) shinji is just so awful at communication#so he has a hard time telling Ken to fully rely on him instead#Ken doesnt really have any resentment towards Shinji nor does he has access to pointy weapons to stab him with it#so like he is just a normal yet unfortunately angsty little child that Shinji feels sorry for#i honestly need to sit down and work on shinji and ken's relationship in this au tbh lol but for now im just so happy to draw this :3#asukart#00s highschool au#persona 3#persona 3 reload#persona 3 portable#shinjiro aragaki#ken amada
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