#and elphaba understands you need people and perception in order to do that

[a-couple-of-notes]

hey sorry i wanna talk some more about no one mourns the wicked.

when glinda's introduced, her first celebratory lines slide into a question:

Isn't it nice to know that good will conquer evil, the truth we all believe'll by and by outlive a lie for you and - [I]?

and in a song full of double meanings, glinda isn't asking that question (only) to the ozians. she's asking it to elphaba, who has always been that other half of "you and i." even though glinda has promised not to reveal the truth, she's still hoping that it will come to light someday for her and elphaba. and it's also a heartbreaking call-forward to defying gravity, because just like that moment where glinda almost gets on the broom, there can't be a "you and i" here--it's cut off by the world they exist in.

[lazyveran]

deranged rant below the cut about glinda and her social performances

glinda exists in this fuege state of understanding and analysing the people and world around her but utterly, absolutely not understanding herself.

the entire popular song, while a performance of glinda dumbing down her own intelligence out of habit, is also an acute deconstruction of the role and power of public figures. social perception is king, and we know that because the wizard of oz exists. his power is nothing but perception, it comes entirely from looks and manner and how to play to an audience. glinda's intrinsically understood how their government/structures of power works without even meeting the damn man.

but! at the same time! the entire popular sequence is bombastic and silly and makes glinda come off as a dizty moron. it's almost as if, in understanding how to appeal to the masses and how to secure herself as Somebody, glinda's stuffed the parts of her that are so brilliantly smart into a box and shoved it under the metaphorical bed. it only shines sometimes, when she's alone in a room with someone who's peered at her and seen through the performance. someone glinda deems as safe, and real.

and i think she's only half-aware of this. because glinda does also enjoy the performance, its honestly a facet of her personality, but i think shes gone so far into it that she starts to believe this is just how she is. that its not strategy, it's not a desperate- and deviously smart -effort for attention and honours and love, its just how glinda is! shes popular! she gets people! its just how she's born, because isnt everyone so unfortunate to not have (these very obviously developed skills) this know-how, aw! she's not fundamentally lonely and unhappy with herself, she's not profoundly afraid of never being loved, or known, or even remembered. she's glinda upland, she's the most popular, most well-known, most adored, it's just how she is of course!

her fears, by the time of shiz, seem subconscious, at least to me. i think it's fundamental fears that she carried as a child and learnt how to cover them up, learnt how to navigate to get what that child wants. but in doing so, she's simplified herself to such a degree that she doesn't even allow herself to understand who glinda, now, is. or even, she's performing so well she's even convinced herself that its a non-issue that she's perfectly fine as she is. because the plan is working, isnt it? people love her. no need for introspection if its working!

she's just. so many things and can only conceptualise one or two of those things because in order to be popular, you have to be digestible and noticeable to the people around you. you have to be one-dimension, simple and easy, but loud enough that everyone notices. it develops into her acute narcissism because glinda deep down believes- or rather knows -that popular is all she has. so popular is all she becomes. she doesn't think beyond those terms because she never allows herself to.

the outlier here is the wish to become a sorceress and study magic. (which is so inherently linked to elphaba, soulmatism there). because that requires that ridiculously sharp brain of hers that glinda's been ignoring because She Is Popular, and in doing so glinda's efforts to learn magic is sort of her attempting to be who she actually is, deep down. a little girl who loves magic and wants to do good with it, who was gifted a pointed black witch's hat by her nana. but, by the time she's at shiz, she's so consumed by the efforts to be popular and liked and to fit in and have that influence - to be somebody, even if it isnt who glinda actually is - that in trying to become a sorceress she uses all her popular tricks. ala, an egotistic, narcissistic, social ladder climbing, seeming-idiot.

which is just so fascinating. she's aware from her upbringing as a rich, upper-class socialite how looks and appearance are everything. shes so desperate to be loved and to fit in and to never, ever be on the out that she compartmentalises everything that isn't digestible and easy and one-dimensional. and for so long, and for such desperation, that glinda boxes herself into an imaginary world - the world of upper-class social circles, something entirely disconnected from reality. its all she knows, its the only reality she's ever really operated within, and so its all she's trying to be, and it makes her come across as this stupid, air-headed fool who cares so much about herself she's only marginally aware of everyone else.

she's also constantly building different realities and disfiguring herself into them to fit. she uses all that intelligence she has to lie and lie and lie to herself and does it so well that's all she thinks there is. all her subsequent actions are built off of this genuine belief that that is how the world actually works, and that this is how she is. because she's so, incredibly good at never being who glinda upland actually is that's she's convinced herself, too.

but. god. glinda's only doing this because there's this hole in her chest she's using crowds to fill. and in doing this, she will never get the love she's craving because the people dont know her, and so cant love her, and the desperation is there to simply find different people, more people - because if it isnt working now, surely fiyero will fix it. surely scale will fix it. surely if she's popular at university, popular at the city, popular on a state level, then that love will satisfy her, finally.

glinda's entire existence is her consciously and unconsciously performing so incredibly well for something she thinks will fix the utterly consuming fear of being alone. and it never works. until, and after, elphaba, it never ever works. in every crowd she's in, she's not known or understood and therefore still alone. she's still a scared little girl shouting for someone to look at her, please, she will be good and popular and whatever you want her to be, but just look at her so she isn't so scared of being nothing at all.

she's brilliant, and she's stupid, and she's brilliant at being stupid, and it makes me want to slap her.