#so every time i post
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Guys this may come as a surprise but as it turns out i just might need ADHD medication. Like. Badly. shocker, i know
#this is supposed to be read in a joking tone. sarcasm mostly.#Because if you've been following this blog then it is SO OBVIOUS#but yeah who would have guessed that looking at people who can do tiny doodles every day and going 'i could never do that' isnt normal#or the fact that posting on social media takes multiple hours of scripting in my head and the same amount of spoons as taking a shower#so the concept of regularly posting on a blog (hi there blog reader. this is the blog) is so cosmically far away for me that i literally#cant imagine all of the fandom people i love not being literal deities of the internet and algorithm conquerors who always know what to do#I HOPE THIS IS PUTTING IN PERSPECTIVE HOW BIG OF A REVELATION FOR ME THIS IS#I LITERALLY COULDNT COMPREHEND HOW PEOPLE COULD JUST “POST STUFF ON THE INTERNET” WITHOUT CAREFULLY CURATING IT AND THINKING ABOUT IT FOR#WEEKS AT A TIME BEFORE SHARING. MEMORIZING ALL THE TAGS TO PUT ON IT FOR PEOPLE TO SEE. How people could just post anything at all.#without wanting to give up before you even start#damn so. executive dysfunction sure fuckin is huh#i hope this helps give insight into the struggles i'm facing writing steady tracks or sharing content of my other aus online in the middle#of college/now having a job. its been hard but i havent been able to justify why until right now#so every time i post#please assume it is a cry for help 🤣#Tag Ramble#Not Submas
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the 'what if you played it a little risky' post literally Changed my life but i cant fujkign find it in my blog because its. a tiktok screenshot
#like literally every time ive hesitated sending a text or complimenting someone or stuff ive thought of it#like youre right. what if i played it a little risky what do i have to lose in doing a nice thing!!!!!! ur so right!!!!!!!!#but its forever lost cos i cant search it with any words cause its an image#misery and pain. you know how it is#my post
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the curse of adhd:
i will remember with absolute clarity, when the thought strikes me that i have a text to send someone, that this is the fourth time in three days i've attempted to send this specific text
i will forget, in the time it takes me to pick up my phone, that i picked it up intending to send a text
#every time#managed to actually send it today!#but also i have been reminded to post this by the fact that i just had a task to do in two different rooms just now#so i turned the light on in the room i was getting to second because my brain would go 'oh why is the light on that's weird'#and check the room and it would remind me to do the second task#in the less than five seconds between turning the light on and exiting the room#my brain went 'oh the light's on better turn that off before i leave'#and i had to manually catch myself#PLS.#adhd
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you don't even have to ask. i'll beg.
Brennan Lee Mulligan / Anne Carson / Emily Wilson / Jaelyn Dennis / Anne Carson / Mitski / inanotherunivrse / Alicia Ostriker / Clarice Lispector / Source Unknown / souldistracted / @kermit-coded / Source Unknown / @professor-pants / souldistracted / Ricardo Martinez / Anne Carson / Phoebe Bridgers / @thegirlhoodtheory / Silas Denver Melvin / Mary Oliver / Bombay Bicycle Club / @autopsytableromance / Margaret Atwood
#dimension 20#misfits and magic#evan kelmp#brennan lee mulligan#d20#d20 spoilers#misfits and magic season 2#mismag#mismag 2#web weaving#dogs#mine#long post#this makes me sick to my stomach every time i read it so i think its done#you gotta read the long tags at the end cause they're too good
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Preparing for your first holiday season with your griblings is hard. Especially when your grand niece insists on celebrating Every. Single. Holiday.
#ngl this was not the original context for the drawing but I can see Ford looking into christmas properly for the first time when Mabel#mentions that she chooses to celebrate EVERY holiday (as per the wiki) & ending up going slightly overboard with it (& every other holiday)#the actual context is him shifting into esoteric mode and tattooing oranges. Which I understand does not clarify in the slightest#Been working on a lot of bigger pieces so wanted to punt the perfectionist in my brain by posting a nice simple doodle :]#gravity falls#GF fanart#Grunkle Ford#Fan art#Stanford Pines#Ford Pines#Fanart#artists on tumblr#my art
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Memes shared by kids who grew up on starships I think they should have sea scout/land scout beef with kids that grew up on Starbases
#star trek#ds9#tng#wesley crusher type kids need more representation#it must be such a weird environment to go up in like cool but weird#like wheres that post about wesley being the weirdest kid in starfleet cos they're talking about a specific procedure and hes like#ha yeah reminds me of when the first officer got god like powers and aged me 10 years#that but every starship kid in every situation#yeah i grew up on one of yhe ships that prevented that romulan invasion i was playing dom jot on my padd at the time tho so i didn't notice
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Wanted to try drawing something a little ornate, I think they’d make each other worse
#myart#creepypasta#crp#jane the killer#jane arkensaw#homicidal liu#jeff the killer#liu woods#if I was Jeff I’d try to kill him too#probably got tired of getting outmogged every morning#hey guys can I be honest#did not care for this drawing#did not care for it#but I spent the time so I’ll post lol hope someone out there enjoys it!#gonna draw some chill stuff for a bit#got an itching for eyeless jack#jtk#horror#also I think Liu is so pretty here. usually I’d try to avoid that a little but idk I kinda hc he’s pretty! idgaf!#creepypasta fanart#slenderman#not ship
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the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol
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#this is almost as bad as the time Lex luthor stole 40 cakes.#lex being the dc verse's elon is hilariously perfect#and gothamites are relentless so theyre probably having a field day with this#gothamites using every opportunity to dunk on metropolitans for having a shitty billionaire#the imposter accounts were run by kon and Lois lmao#the batkids are absolutely gonna impersonate each other so goodluck to bruce because the PR team's gonna be LIVID#social media au#the batkids later that day: Bruce you should totally buy tiktok#bruce: what? absolutely not im not spending money on a social media platform#batkids: but it'll make lex SO mad#bruce considering: hmm.#dick grayson#jason todd#bruce wayne#lex luthor#stephanie brown#batfamily#damian wayne#tim drake#batkids#batfam#batbros#batman#dc comics#incorrect quotes#crack#i spent an ungodly amount of time and effort on this please for the love of god dont make fun of me 😭#the script for this has literally been sitting in my drafts for over a year. i even did research on all the dates when this fiasco unfolded#texts#fanatical posting
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subject, specimen, spectacle;
should i say that you're dead?
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#satoru gojo#gojo#bugs/#insects/#eye horror/#every time i post gojo art i feel scummy using like . the slew of tags this mf has#im like wow u look desperate gdfjkdjkg#listen ok im not a gojomain idk where people look fr content#anyway for not a gojomain i sure do have a lot of artistic breakthroughs whenever i draw him#first th eyedoves then lmhs gojo then gojo in the (club) bathroom by himself now this#loathe as i am to admit it i Love how much there is to pick apart of him in art theres so much theres so many angles u cld take#personally my favourite gojo angle in art (tm) is the Cryptically Unsettling Not Sane Not Human what can i say#keep ur thirst trap gojoart i like this guy unblinking and twitchy#on that note here he is pinned down as god intended#i ATE w this concept i fear fgfgsd i wanted a like. pallid formaldehyde dissection table under examination motif#and i was torn between using snakes or bugs to convey it and im SO SOOSOSOO happy i picked the bugs#ive used butterflies a lot they arent anything unfamiliar but truly i felt a chakra unlock when i thought of gojo+butterfly pinning#the burning light the eye the composition i rly think this is some of my best work#also also th poem was smth i came across when i was brainstorming captions and i ws like. gagged @ how well it fit gojo i had to include it#im not a poetry buff so my opinion is very uneducated but i think it was rly haunting and sad and beautiful#fit my target vibe so i took it slapped it on gojo w bugs said thank you verymuch smile :)
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Don't ask how it got into his room
#listen my comics don't have to make sense OR have good craftsmanship. they just have to be stupid#in the daytime i'm Ms. K. just a normal kindergarten assistant teacher who tells her kinders not to scribble scrabble when they draw#but there's something about me that they don't know yet. because i have a secret. i scribble scrabble when i draw all.the time#мой пост#мой рисунок#london special#london special spoilers#miraculous ladybug#adrien agreste#miraculous#ml#ml comic#real talk though every time i post i apologize for it being so messy. but do i ever change? no. I'm like your toxic ex
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all my behind-the-scenes concept work and such for the HGCZ! i had a blast working on it all.
check out my finished piece here, and check out @hotguycomiczine for the full zine!
#hotguy comics zine#hgcz#hgcz spoilers#sort of?#enough that i think i should tag it LOL#as you can see. i made a final design for impulse . and then Did Not Commit to It#well i sorta did#but my dumbass made the camo like#so complex#so as i was drawing him three billion times#i was like#why the fuck would i do the camo every time#so i simplified it#you'd think with me being an animator i would Know this lesson#but alas#chris doodles#also im going to reblog this post with all the draft versions of the pages cause i think theyre fun to compare
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#10 second untagged shitposts will get 100k but the moment im pround of something no one gives a shit!! i dont suck that much at it!!#and i hate pointing it out because im not entitled to notes no one owes me anything#but man it sucks the life out of me every single time#i admit the last one i posted is kinda niche and messy but this happens with my better fanarts made of popular media too#my one drawing to get above 100 notes is a little kark@t doodle#for a while i refused to draw because i wanted aknowledgement for it. dont be like me kids. draw for the drawer#and also draw for your roommate whose eyes nearly pop out of their skull over the mildest body horror#augh i was so pround of the body horror one too but i had to delete that from here due to the 5 whole notes it got#my french teacher said it looked cool though so whose winning
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So normal about Jon being like I don’t remember what you looked like but the man who let you die is going to suffer for what he did to you. If only Sasha coulda seen that.
So normal about Jon being like you died hating me and wanting me dead but I’m still gonna make sure this man knows I’m ending him in your name. Sure wish Tim coulda seen that.
So normal about the fact that everyone believed Jon was losing his humanity but no one got to see the ways his love and compassion for the people he lost or who hurt him drove him to that final moment.
So normal about the fact that even after everything Jonah’s done to Jon, the only person he never thinks to get justice for is himself.
#same energy as Jon diving into the buried to save the woman who tried to kill him#for all his flaws Jon’s a good person at his core#he just wholeheartedly believes he deserves to be hated so he never even tries to explain himself#analysis#istg every time I post one of these I get closer to writing a full dissertation on this guy#tma#the magnus archives#jon sims#jonathan sims#tim stoker#tma 200#sasha james#jonah magnus
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"D-Don't worry about me! Focus on helping the little one, okay?" 🌠 panel redraw of @laikascomet
#laikas comet#laika's comet#laika bones#yue bones#(? i dug a lil bit but if that's not his last name im a silly goose!!)#panel redraw#animation#gif#animated comic panel#lc laika#lc yue#original art by willow woods / fourleaf / fourleafisland / the original author!!#i made this a little after this page came out and then didnt post it because i kept waiting to add the book lol#i will say it every time if you havent read laikas comet you should read laikas comet#definitely one of my all time faves#also this is a really compressed gif (tumblr quality is cruel) but i might rb this with the mp4 version#doing the border effects in after effects was so much fun i wanna try something composition intensive again but with davinci resolve#animation done in flipaclip and background in procreate :]#okay bye ily have a good day!
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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