#i made this a little after this page came out and then didnt post it because i kept waiting to add the book lol
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auden-dahn · 5 months ago
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"D-Don't worry about me! Focus on helping the little one, okay?" 🌠 panel redraw of @laikascomet
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slaymbo · 10 months ago
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more yan!class 1a with earthbender readerr :3
y'all know the sports festival where they had to fight eachother in the ring? yeah, if y/n got to the point where they have to fight todoroki its gonna be INSANE
HEAR ME OUT, OKAY
because technically earthbenders can bend certain oils, riiight?
and it would be hilarious if y/n threw oil at him right after he finally lets himself use his fire
Todoroki steps into the ring, feeling electrified after his victory against Izuku. He knew you were strong, but as the festival went on he realized he was stronger. Or so he thought
"This is it, Y/N. It's impressive that you've made it this far, but I will be the one to end your winning streak once and for all." He says with a bit of melancholy in his voice, wanting to hurt his darling as little as possible.
You said nothing as the cameras focused on you opening a bottle of what seems to be water. Todoroki tilts his head in confusion "I thought you couldn't control water?"
You smile knowingly, shaking your head right before you force the viscous liquid out of the bottle and onto him.
As soon as it hits him, so does realization. This isnt water...it's oil. He runs towards you in an attempt to freeze your precious body in place, but he's too late. The earth around you both starts to rumble and get hot as parts of the ground begin to break apart. Shoto looks into one of the cracks...
Holy shit
That's lava
You strain your muscles as you bring up the hot magma slowly, obviously not wanting to hurt your classmate. Frozen in fear (or awe?), he doesn't even realize that it has already surrounded him. He's fucked.
"I-I...how...huh???" Shoto tries to form a coherent sentence, but all of his words have seemed to fall into the cracks of the earth and burn.
You smile as Midnight declares you as the victor of the match, pushing the lava back from were it came with your quirk and walking up to Shoto, giving him what was essentially a "good job" hug.
that day is when the whole class went crazy over you
yeah, shoto was a bit embarrassed that he was defeated so quickly, but he was more proud of you than anything
your classmates always want to train with you now, you becoming their first pick whenever they must partner up (the rest of them get jealous, but who cares)
izuku not only has ten pages dedicated to you and todoroki's fight (if you can even call it that), but he definitely has multiple videos of it.
bakugo ALWAYS wants to fight with you now, claiming because he 'needs to show you that he's better' (he just loves your attention fr)
denki and sero take any chance they get to flirt with you and put you off rhythm when you fight with them
unrelated rapid fire hcs GO!!!
the bakusquad helps you with vocal tolerance training (itll make sense if you read the other post), it started with far away whispers and now they can yell with you only being slightly overwhelmed!
jirou has totally eavesdropped on you singing in the shower b4, damn near dying because of your angelic voice (you could literally sing like you have nails in your throat, you still sound like an angel to her)
also i feel like she understands being overwhelmed by noises bc of her quirk, so you guys have both had cuddle sessions to calm yourselves down while listening to each others heartbeats
shoji's mask accidently came off one time, and he was ashamed bc he didnt want his darling to think he was ugly!!! but when you gasped and your eyes started twinkling, his heart damn near stopped. you thought he looked good!!! and ever since then he shows his face around u
momo, iida, and shoto all try to compete with each other to see who can get you the most elaborate gifts.
alr thats all i got rn. dont be afraid to send asks! :3
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anythinganother · 8 months ago
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The Final Judgement in BSD???
Hear me out. I was reading about biblical apocalypse a lot in previous days and i came up with few things i would wanna share with you here! Please guys i need your opinion on this.
The Four Horsemen of Apocalypse
I already made a post about it but for the context: in Bible, apocalypse is preceded by opening The Seven Seals. Opening of the first four seals releases the four horsemen – pestilence, war, famine and death (there is a lot different interpretations of idenity of the first horseman. Conquest, conquest provoking the pestilence, even Jesus himself or Antichrist, but lets go with the main basic interpretation for now) DOA members can resemble The Four Horsemen.
Conquest/ Pestilence – Bram. I call it pestilence cause its precisely what vampirism do.
War – Fukuchi. I think no explanation needed.
Famine – Sigma – we will talk about him in a moment
Death – Nikolai.
More or less it fits. Also, what’s interesting, they all hate the mission of the horseman they resemble…or nearly all. Bram hates changing vampires, Fukuchi hates war, Sigma hates hunger. I dont know what to say about Nikolai in that one tho. Maybe that he tried to kill Fyodor and at the end, when he thought fyodor was dead, realized it gave him nothing and he didnt really want to do that? It was only about Fyodor tho, not about death as a whole. Anyways, i will stop it here cause i think a bit of a pattern is visible.
Antichrist.
Next thing i was thinking of is Fyodor being The Antichrist. Antichrist – sometimes described as evil twin of Jesus, false Christ. Basically impostor who tries to fool people that he is the Jesus and eventually lead to armagedon. Somehow fitting for Demon Fyodor, don’t you think? Of course we don’t have any direct proofs yet, maybe only the Jesus parallels that could end up being fake and a way to ‘fool’ us, but it’s still interesting scenario to think of.
The Book.
We sometimes forget that The Book is – or should be – the main focus of the plot of BSD. Every antagonistic organisation’s main goal was to posses the book. Fyodor was present in or around all of them so it seems like its his goal too. Everything that’s happening from season 4 is because of page from said book. Despite that it’s very important thing for whole plot, we still know very little about it.  Back to the topic of Final Judgement, in the first paragraph i already said that apocalypse was preceded by opening The Seven Seals. The symbolic seals that was securing some book (or scroll to be specific) that author of Book or Revelation saw in his vision. Maybe in BSD, the seals could refer to The Book itself and we have something more going on in the background?
Fineee, that's all for now i think. Reading about it took me a few days so i hope fandom haven’t died yet after last chapter and someone will actually read it. Have a nice day if you read it!! English is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes.
Special thanks to my friend @skrybazasterixa for listening to my raving about it in last few days and helping me come up with this all. Luv u ♡
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tio-trile · 1 year ago
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Okay, I just got my mind blown away by this GO s2 theory/analysis:
https://www.tumblr.com/ariaste/724311712381222912/the-magic-trick-you-didnt-see-being-an-analysis?source=share
It's by @ariaste who is also a famous author, and if she's right, even a little bit, it explains SO MUCH about the inconsistency and 'bad writing' and backsliding of s2. This is me after reading it, absolutely mindblown
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I think you might be interested in it? Maybe?
So, I read it (across like 3 days time) because I love and care about you all, and I would never make an opinion about something if I hadn't known about it in great detail, and the entire time I was reading it, I thought:
MAN it would be SO embarrassing if this is NOT the case. And the author of the essay had just insulted Neil Gaiman and his writing for a grand total of 36 pages. They are even meaner to the season than I am 😂 and posting this on main (when they are apparently a published author?), what a power move. Through the middle I keep questioning myself that maybe THIS ESSAY is an elaborate scheme, and OP just purely HATED the season but didn't want to insult Neil Gaiman to his face, so they came up with the world's most convoluted way to insult Neil Gaiman's writing without him noticing. 🤣🤣🤣
IF OP is 100% correct about everything (I personally think very unlikely) then...kudos to them. I tip my hat to them. Still not to season 2 tho because like OP themselves kinda explained in their essay, showing me a bunch of random things isn't the full magic trick, so you can't expect me to clap after it. (The only thing I'm upset about reading in the essay is actually that -- I'm a little annoyed that OP compared one of my favorite Penn and Teller routines to this dumpster fire that is season 2 🤣 THEY ARE NOT THE SAME. The Penn and Teller routine is incredible and entertaining and well-structured here it is)
If OP is wrong and Neil Gaiman actually wrote this season genuinely (which I think he did)......OP would have called Neil Gaiman a "Hack" and a "Clumsy Apprentice Writer" (both of these are OP's words, not mine) for 36 pages in 16k words, and I can't wait to see their metaphorical face when season 3 comes out. Actually, in a way, adaed5, you did change my mind; I now want season 3 to be greenlit and made just for that to play out.
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st4rgzer · 9 months ago
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CAN YOU DO STILL THINK ABOUT YOU BY A BOOGIE WITH A HOODIE AND MAKE IT LIKE ANGSTY ND SHI ( chris pls🙏🏽🙏🏽 ) .
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still think about you (chris sturniolo)
summary: when enough is enough, you act and confront chris
genre: just angst
cw!: swearing, cheating, kissing
a/n: i tried to do this the best i could since i didnt really know the song, i went with a different path (slightly) but i hope you like it<3
“i love you”
“…”
who knew a relationship of 6 months could be over over nothing, literally nothing. a silence. a silence that i anticipated, but nonetheless hurt just like the last time i tried saying it. from the look on chris’s face, he knew he fucked up, again.
“chris?” my voice was brittle, easily able to break any second now. my bottom lip trembled as he looked away, a guilty expression being hidden from me.
“baby you know how i feel-“ i cut him off. “do i?”
almost every ounce of respect i had for him shriveled away right then and there.
“do i know how you feel, if you can’t even fucking say ‘i love you’ to my face?” i tried to keep a firm voice despite the tears the pricked my eyes, desperate to come out.
i laughed, throwing my hands up in the air, in disbelief at the stupidity of the situation, and at chris’s inability to say a word.
“i don’t know what to say.”
“y’know what my mom told me, told me to watch who i fuck with and never trust a guy like you for shit.”
my words were petty and dripped with venom, tears falling over my cheeks. chris could only watch in pity.
“my friends warned me, fuck it, everyone warned me about you and about how much of a shit fucking person you are. but i didn’t believe them, and now i know. i feel fucking stupid, but i know i should’ve known better. instead of trusting any fucking bitch that slides into my dm’s. sure you might be rich ‘nd famous, but you’re no different than any rat i could find on the street.”
i spoke loudly, harshly. meaning every word that spewed from my mouth. my hand came up to my face to wipe the tears that had previously fallen. chris sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, keeping his head down, he knew i had a right to be this mad. making me wait and wait till he was ‘ready’ to step forward with the relationship.
seeing as he was going to do next to nothing to keep me from going, i grabbed my purse and stomped across his living room, opened the door, and slammed it shut.
it was bittersweet, sitting in my car in his driveway, secretly waiting for him to run after me. but nothing happened, no one ran after me. so i kept some of my self respect and drove off, leaving behind who i thought was going to be the ‘love of my life’.
but mundane moments don’t feel the same with his hands wrapped around my waist, head leaned on the crook of my neck. his scent had washed off from all my clothes after a few weeks. no messages from him came, and i don’t think he ever intended to send one anyway. the worst thing is i still check, i still care. so it made sense for me to grab the phone when a post notification of his instagram page went off. one that made my stomach drop, my throat dry, and my knuckles white as i gripped the device in my hands. was this how it felt to have a knife in your back? i thought. have it twisted around and stuck again and again ferociously? because that’s how it felt.
does he remember how he’d been so afraid of posting me to the world that he’d keep me secret until he knew that i was really comfortable? that he’d whisper “id rather keep you to myself just a little longer” as we talked about our future under the boston night sky. how he’d promise me that i was worth every penny and every minute. did he just forget everything?
i turned the phone off, and stared at a small spot on the wall, trying to think about anything else but the photo i had just seen. a girl, holding chris’s cheek. kissing it. chris was smiling, an ice cream cone in his hand. that was not his favorite flavor. surely he had done this out of spite, right? surely the caption that read “i love you, thanks for the ice cream” had been to hurt me, annoy me. was it the fact that is was me that he couldn’t say ‘i love you” to? cause it seems like that comes easy for him to say with everyone else.
my mind spiraled as the familiar feeling of tears brimming my eyes started to form. my throat burned and my hand formed into fists to try and stop them from shaking. any hope of returning to where i’d once called home, was lost. i still think about him, that’s the worst part.
“i have to tell you something”
GRACE TALKS: guys i dont even remember my taglist help remind me if u wanna be tagged🙏
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tarotnoob · 4 months ago
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JK (belated) bday reading - 9/2
I'm doing this on September 2nd. I think I did read for him on his actual birthday but I wasn't going to post anything. However I was thinking of him this morning because I was working on scheduling a tattoo appointment.
btw - sorry for typos in these; I voice to text my readings and since they're so long... I really don't go back and edit them. I'm more like a tarot therapist, I like to talk my way through a reading.
disclaimer: entertainment purposes only; tarot is not fact, so please don't use tarot readings as a means of proof about anything.
Going back to the readings I did in June for a sec (feel free to skip the next few paragraphs if you didnt read those):
Two things that stood out for predictions that were interesting to me because they so specifically came out as something: The first was Jin, and I didn't think it made sense at all for right after he got out of the military service, he would go camping and be doing these activities and stuff and then they announced that he had that show where the first one he was camping and hiking lol. Take that with a grain of salt but that was kind of you know a little specific. The second is about Tae. When I did his reading, I specifically mentioned that I wasn't picking up the word lonely, I was picking up the word alone. And then on are you sure, he literally plays Jimins song “alone” and says that this is the song that he relates to the most and anybody who likes it best on the album would get him.
I really really like to do predictions so when I can validate something actually happened without somebody really reaching hard to try and say oh yeah that came true. But I thought those were two very specific examples of something I talked about and then much later it kind of comes up. Come on, Tae's is... interesting.
Jungkook's birthday reading:
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For reference, I looked at the photo of JK that Jhope had uploaded to his IG (which is interesting as Jhope will come up a lot in this).
I'm sitting down to look at his spread but I thought it was kind of remarkable that he got so many court cards, all of them cup cards. And then when I did the clarifications using another deck again I got court cards but with the pentacles. Usually when there's a lot of court cards, people say that can mean multiple people are around or involved or whatever and that could be the case. I find court cards strange so I like to clarify them. And then when I see the seven of swords I always like to clarify it. I get that card a lot for him and sometimes Jimin. You know besides being a card about lie or gossip, it's a card about secrets or I also sometimes see it as a card where somebody's carrying a lot of painful things on their own or trying to do too much on their own. It can also be if you want to read it in a positive light being resourceful I guess but it still has that sneaky undertone. 
Also the back of the deck for the clarification card was the hierophant and that came out in the first deck. Point being when that happens it's creepy and it means there's some consistency. 
So let's look at the original deck and then we'll look at the oracles. We have page of cups, seven of swords, King of cups, hierophant. Back of deck is the night of cups plus the fool. Oracle cards are listen, dream, and communication at the back of the deck with an invitation behind it. 
You know what's funny is on the service this is the perfect combination for somebody who just eloped lol. We do have a theme set by the oracles, we have listen, communication, and dream. So there is already some sense of listening and talking and those conversations being about some type of wish or goal or dream. It's also giving a lot of water vibes in the sense of Pisces. The cups are a creative, sensitive, artistic energy. It could be that he is talking about music or working on music or thinking about music or having conversations with certain people about music and what he wants to do in the future. The fact that he has seven of swords could also be symbolic of BTS. The members tend to get a lot of sevens when I read for them. 
Honestly the first thing that comes to my mind when I look at the hierophant and the clarifiers even on kind of jumping ahead, is you know hierophant can also stand in for certain institutions whether it's a college or government. And the fact that it's being clarified by nine of cups which is that wish fulfillment or dream card or gold, and 10 of sores is an end to a cycle or something that's even a little bit difficult or painful. It would make me think that maybe this is conversations and thoughts about what's going to happen with the music after service. Maybe because it was his birthday, depending on if they stayed where they serve or if they got together with friends and family somewhere else or even if somebody like J-Hope was actually able to visit, they had these types of conversations briefly so that could be on his mind 
Another way to interpret that hierophant stuff could be you know I also see this card as a set of organized beliefs. It doesn't have to be religious or spiritual specifically, it can be just like a creed or you know principles or whatever beliefs you have as an individual. So it could be maybe like an end to a self-defeating belief or almost like if you had the tower card or the devil card I guess. And like some of those thoughts were getting in the way of a goal. It does make me wonder if it feels more like literally as in a real roadblock. Not necessarily a mental roadblock. But as in like yeah if you couldn't do something right now based on legality or procedure or a government body standing in the way. It could also be about conformity I suppose. But this card at least as I'm interpreting it now gives a sense of rigidity. Like a wall. And it's just in the way of some type of dream. It does feel temporary. It's kind of annoying. It feels like an obligation. But let's keep looking 
So page of cups, usually about communication or some type of offer, it could be a romantic offer. You could certainly interpret that from the amount of cups cards here. I don't really see it when I look into the clarification but that doesn't mean that there aren't conversations here happening about emotional commitment to something or someone. 
But I mean another interpretation because of the seven of swords could definitely feel like this person is keeping something hidden from somebody in their life or has a secret or is keeping a secret from someone that they're committed to. But I mean again because BTS is so attached to the number seven this could also simply be okay we know this is about communication, there are seven swords involved, so this could be carrying communication related to seven people. It is interesting that the person is carrying five and then there are two on the ground. So it could be about two people of the seven. It doesn't really matter. My overall impression is like literally people got together and started talking about the future and what BTS was going to do in terms of music lol. That would just be a guess. And if he was just hanging out with other members or hearing from them at this moment then that would make perfect sense right 
I also wonder if literally there was a conversation that happened recently where somebody was talking about a literal dream. Like it wouldn't surprise me if they could do a live, that JK would be like you know I had this dream and I was telling so-and-so the other day or this other member was telling me about a dream they had. Kind of like those conception dreams. It feels like you know even if it wasn't a dream, this person is visualizing something in the future so clearly that it feels like it could have been a dream, because it's being imagined so clearly like a movie. Or I guess like a painting I don't know what you want to say. So it's almost like an omen or prophecy. That's how they might have talked about it. I mean if J-Hope is getting out of the military soon, maybe they talked about his plans and some music ideas, I don't know if they can actually work on things while they are in service. Even in private to release later, so maybe JK might be collabing with J-Hope or was helping him write something. I did use the photo J-Hope put on his Instagram so it wouldn't surprise me if some connection comes through like that 
Having the king of cups too is definitely somebody who is very level-headed in their emotions and very sensitive very calm and cool and collected and could be extremely creative and emotionally mature. I think that some advice was given as well. Either somebody seeking advice about a music project or being given advice. Yeah definitely some type of conversation was had and then that was taken away somewhere like look at the seven of swords and it's almost like okay somebody gave advice and then maybe a person with secretly listening in or is just quietly taking in that advice or that conversation to use in the future or taking note. It just depends because seven of swords typically has a negative connotation but with BTS it's just so hard to tell what these damn seven cards. None of the other cards are negative except a 10 of swords later on. 
and plus you never know what they're doing that needs to be hidden or in secret because spoilers or other things. But some type of conversation was had and something was taken away from it. I guess maybe there's even a little bit of bitterness that happened because he can't work on something right away. Maybe there is some impatience. Which doesn't really match with the cups cards but seven of swords can be bitterness and carrying guilt even. 
And then the back of the deck was knight of cups which is you know slow action or progress being made toward a creative project or something related to love feelings relationships. Maybe there are a lot of new relationships happening, people he's meeting in the military, because it does seem like there are a lot of people around or more interactions and conversations happening. The fool behind it, can be like fun, innocent, adventurous, and pulsive, risk-taking. So there could be a sense of newness to whatever this conversation is. It doesn't feel like an old conversation like hey we're reminiscing about the past and what we used to do. It feels like reinventing. It would be like totally new projects and new music and thinking about new concepts. Really looking forward instead of backward 
Right so clarifications let's tie them and maybe that will help out too. Page of cups is clarified by the king of pentacles. This could be his energy because he has a fair amount of water and pentacles in his chart. It would make me think of a person who literally creates creative communication or somebody who's offering words as a form of commitment or sincerity, there's something very reliable and what is being said or done or produced. 
It does kind of feel a little bit too like an offering of a gift. Like a material gift, something that cost money. It could be a gift that he received. It could be I mean sure it could be like a material gift but it honestly feels like somebody gave him a song. Or somebody giving a song to somebody else as a gift. Because in the king of pentacles I feel like you know this is somebody who can literally create something physical but the thing that was given is a little bit of communication, a little bit of feelings, a little bit of creativity. So a combination would definitely seem like giving somebody your feelings but you happen to make it yourself so yes it feels like giving somebody a song or a really sincere piece of advice as an offering or gift 
To have the knight of pentacles come out to clarify the seven of swords. So the knight of pentacles is that earnest, slow, methodical progress toward something tangible usually. The fact that it's seven of swords could be a couple of different things. Such as slow progress on working on something by yourself, something that's been a bit difficult, or working on it in secret, the fact that it's seven could be that it's tied to a secret or hidden projects being worked on related to BTS. But more it's just a sense of doing some type of work or project but it's being hidden or it's not being revealed yet. I think. I might think something different once I read the other two cards because another negative option would be some type of communication about the work that they do being talked about but related to gossip or secrets. I'm not really getting anything negative from it so let's just keep it in the back of our minds 
The king of cups is clarified by 10 of pentacles. It's almost like the first king with the page of cups feeling. But somebody who is very stable emotionally or it's talking about emotional health because 10 of pentacles can be about physical health. So it's like somebody gave advice to somebody that's very coming from a place of being extremely emotionally mature or is trying to advise somebody on how to get to that place of feeling more solid emotionally 
Again it could also be related to making money off of creativity. Being not productive but someone who definitely makes money off of creative ventures, and not just that you can tell it's a creative field that involves communication and feelings which just brings it back to music for me 
The final card the hierophant, this is 10 of swords and nine of cups. I talked about this and I just think there's a cycle that will come to an end, it could be a belief, or it could even be that okay again I'm getting that somebody gave him advice or I mean he could be the one giving advice but I just get the sense somebody received advice right and it helped to end worries about something related to a future goal 
I'm still kind of confused about the seven of swords so I'm going to clarify again. You know this is the Taurus card it can also be related to financial things or domestic things. But I think they're all tied into one The idea of people who work in a creative industry that is also run by like money and business methods. And the people who are involved in that industry. I don't think this is something that usually comes up when you are serving or even with his cards since he's been serving so it definitely feels triggered by somebody that he was talking to recently. Whether that is J-Hope or another member or anybody else in the industry that he could have spoken with about a project. I'm not getting the sense that it's Jimin.
We know that they're serving together but I'm not really getting that they had this intense conversation about it maybe he was a part of it but I feel like somebody older came in and spoke to him and gave him hope. And the only person that makes sense to me would be j-hope if he was there because he's so close to the end of his service that he would be talking about the goals and things he wants to do and also giving advice to them about what it's going to be like for the next 9 months or whatever you know to get through it. And I think that conversation gave JK and anybody else that would have been there some hope because maybe they had some worries. So it feels like a very hopeful conversation. 
A very intellectual, mature, productive, logical, realistic conversation. Like as if J-Hope let's just say as an example he was able to visit them and hang out then just a voice of grounding and caring and empathizing but still a very mature I've been there and done that and this is how you deal with it. 
I could probably literally flip a card and ask you know who was hanging around and if the star card comes out we can all piss ourselves
Lol I s*** you not I'll show you 
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Yes you could probably say something like somebody he's really close to oh probably an Aquarius oh somebody he works and collaborates with lol 
The star card is also affiliated with dreams and hopes and communication. So again we know that it's somebody that he has a close connection to and they were talking about something that they want to build a future goal etc 
Well if the cards are going to be super accurate today then I'm going to ask for another clarification card on the seven of swords. Also if this were to be about a romantic relationship which how would he even have time but it definitely about further building an intimate relationship together, and talking about their plans for the future. You could definitely read it that way, I'm interpreting it as work based on the other cards but there's also a lot of room for feelings and romance. But I just see this more as a conversation about people's dreams and what they can build for the future related to creative action and business 
But I guess you could also be talking about other relationships in the life related to that and intertwined into all of that as well and that would account for the secrets. You know stuff that we don't really need to know about because it's related to their personal lives 
I clarified the seven of swords and got 10 of swords and back of deck returned to Knight of cups and the fool
That's interesting because well we saw the ten of swords before so there is something difficult that is taking a while to cycle out and of course this can be military service 
I mean it's just a weird combination of things so it could also be something that somebody has been working on for a long time or working through for a long time, there's a sense of guilt or bitterness, it seems to be connected to the hierophant issues as well since we saw the ten of swords there too. 
I want to say I'm feeling like a four of pentacles vibe like holding on to something but that's not quite right. 
If I had to take a guess it just feels like a sigh of relief because this feels like something somebody was holding on to that was kind of eating them up on the inside or worrying them and it was impeding progress toward something. That or like somebody was making slow progress and it was painful but the reason why it was slow progress feels more like there are exterior things happening. Like those blocks. Like paperwork or legalities. But I guess I just don't know what it is because maybe it's really specific 
It doesn't feel like an emotional hang up like an eight of swords. It feels like a frustration. Like you know if you go to the DMV in the US and they want 80 million different documentation things to get through this. There's a sense of obligation and procedure here. But I think that was a topic of a conversation and somebody with mature experienced advice came in and said well this is how you deal with it or you just have to get through this and then you can focus on this but this is just something you have to do for now. 
It's funny because I keep getting these moments of the feeling and want to describe a situation or example. But I just hear JK sighing and like this keeps coming up and it's getting in the way of this. But it's not something long like the entirety of service it's something specific. Like I keep trying to apply for this thing but then they come back and they say on top of that I need to submit this other thing. So it's like weird but this person is very persistent. He's not giving up on it because it's difficult. It's just annoying 
It could even be something as simple as let's say you're working on a project, and you mostly know what you're doing with it but then you keep getting caught on one part of it. Say you're recording a song. And there's this one part of the song and you just can't get your voice right or you just can't get the right music together at that part. And you keep going back to it like day in and day out to try to fix it. Almost you know what it feels like lol this is exactly what I'm feeling like when you edit a video. It's a very tedious experience where you have to like stop and redo and look at it and then go over this 
I wonder if that's maybe the creative gift that's being given. Like somebody is editing a video. And then somebody gave advice on how to edit that video or they're talking through something like that. I can't think of anything else that would be as frustrating but you just have to like go through the process 
So I guess if I had to take a random guess anything related back to somebody creating a creative gift for somebody. It would be an edited video of something lol whether it's a music video or a travel video but or like GCF style things. So yeah it feels like a video project somebody's working on together. Could it be a song sure? But there's a level of technology involved. That of course could be about recording song but to me I'm really strongly feeling editing a video frustration. I used to edit AMVs when I was really young so I remember what that was like or even trying to put together social media videos. I it's interesting that the star comes out I'm just telling you. There could be something happening now in Aquarius but it makes me wonder if related to the edited video it's J-Hope. Although maybe it's being cheeky and like well you used a photo from jhopes Instagram 
It could even be that that little picture is going to be part of a video or was part of a video that somebody edited. For example hear me out whether it was J-Hope or Jimin because we know at least two of those people were there or were aware of what was going on for JK's birthday. Somebody edited a video and sent it to j Hope and then he kind of took that clip out of it. I'm just saying 
If it is something that's not personal and actually coming out, the only timing here that I see is related to next April or early May during taurus season. That timing came out twice, so did Aquarius. Because it's the star and I relate that back to online communication this could be another travel log or travel situation 
Maybe J-Hope was like I also want something like are you sure. It seems like when the members come out of military service they're going to produce their own show type content 
So maybe they shared advice on how that works. So my prediction would be something like maybe something related to J-Hope in terms of creative content will come out around Aquarius to Taurus season give or take. It would likely be a music video or a vlog. And JK might have given advice on editing or just a conversation that they had. 
I am very positive that this was J-Hope but I could be biased because I know he posted. But the two of cups and this three of pentacles together that came out with the star. There is such affection here that it's just like gross lol 
This is exactly how I would imagine any of the younger members to feel about J-Hope. It's just like complete admiration and trusts and optimism even but like very business-like. I'm not surprised because this is also how I feel about J-Hope 
So overall yeah I mean I think if he talked to or met with any of the members over his birthday, they had a pretty intense or serious or productive conversation about an upcoming project related to music and or editing a video or a travel series or whatever. It feels very focused. Sometimes I get his cards and he's all like play play let's have a good time and live in the moment but this feels very focused on work and producing something that also has a creative element. There was some advice exchanged in the conversation, very level-headed, very experienced in this type of thing. There's also a feeling of newness as in if it's a music video or an album there's a really interesting and modern concept which is something I also associate with J-Hope. Like his last album to me had music I had never even heard of so he's very innovative in the sounds that he comes up with or the looks so I am pretty sure this would be a project that he's working on. I don't think it's possible for him to collab on a song with JK by then but that doesn't mean that JK didn't help. I don't know if he can even provide his voice for songs in the background but he definitely helped with something in relation to that. Like describing how something should be song or helping with lyrics 
You might find that the project could relate to words like dream or something about the future, being innovative, how something new is being tried, like something completely different 
Very serious birthday topics. Maybe they got drunk afterward but mostly it just feels like people talking shop 
And I imagine if they did talk about work in projects like that that JK would have gotten excited and inspired and thought about his own ideas for a while but mostly overall this just seems to describe a conversation and interaction specifically with in my mind it's absolutely jhope lol 
But could it be somebody else? Sure. Could it not be about J-Hope at all and be about a romantic relationship. That's a possibility but when I look at the three of pentacles and all these pentacles I am relating it more to work relationships very close work relationships. I mean sure you can interpret three of pentacles as building a romantic relationship with somebody like you talk about living together or something. That doesn't really feel like a conversation to be had at this moment in time but sure. I'm not saying that. To me it's sensitive emotionally mature advice that probably relates to creative projects and how to accomplish them. 
The only thing that comes to mind in terms of past projects is on. I know the members seem to really gravitate toward that song and so did fans. And I'm not saying on is particularly innovative or something anybody is trying to recreate but I feel like in that conversation somebody could have gone oh you mean like on. 
That could mean that the project particularly relates to dancing. 
I guess it could even be related to the past where I think Jhope's series came out and he was with that other dancer and they talked. I don't remember when that came out. But anyway so I am getting flashes of a creative project that requires a lot of editing and dancing elements and innovation, maybe colors as well especially blues pinks greens yellows. Like graffiti, fashion 
Anyway that's all I got. If I have my cards, I will try to do a Jimin birthday reading but… lol.
I'll actually be in Busan that day heh
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carpisuns · 2 years ago
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I just wanna say I have an old post of yours saved in my drafts, about being a beginner artist…. I look at it sometimes to give me perspective and reassurance. Thank you. It has inspired me to continue my hobby/passion even if I don’t get many notes rn. I improve and I see it! Thats all that matters. Thank you. I hope I can be that for someone someday.
oh wow 😭 this just warmed my heart—thank you for sharing with me. i don't know what post you're talking about specifically, but i'm so glad that something i said could give you a little extra boost sometimes<3
it's both cool and sort of embarrassing that this blog is a record of my entire art journey. i didn't start learning how to draw until i got into ML and joined tumblr again about 3.5 years ago, so it has my very earliest art as well as my most recent. the other day my sister and i went through my art tag and i was literally crying with laughter at some of those pieces alskjdf (particularly this one). they're sooo bad but they were my best work at the time! as much as i cringe to look at them now, it's nice to remember how far I've come. There are still so many things I struggle with and things i disappoint myself about, but that's normal because I am still growing. no one stops growing. the artists you look up to the most, whose work seems absolutely flawless to you, are still growing.
and YOU are growing too! whether you feel like you are or not. sometimes it takes looking back to realize it. i'm really glad you can see your improvement! honestly, that's a skill too! having a healthy mindset about your own development can take a lot of internal work so I'm really proud of you for that.
(i got very rambly so cut for the rest lol)
and honestly sometimes the improvement isn't even about what the art looks like—it can just be about how you feel about making it. I think one of my biggest improvements in the last year was getting comfortable with drawing and sharing things that are Bad and Ugly! for example:
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the first one i drew 3 years ago, just a few months into learning how to draw. the second one i drew about a month ago. they both have obvious flaws and you could even argue that the old one is better drawn than the newer one. so it's like omg did i not improve at all after over 3 years?? did i actually get worse? lol. no! because a lot of the improvement is internal.
you'll notice that the first one was done in pencil and the second one is pen. it took me years to feel confident enough to sketch in pen because you can't erase! you have to commit to the lines! you can actually see tons of erase marks in the first one, but i didnt even use my white-erase tape at all on the second one. also, the first one is a screen redraw. i was just looking at the image and trying to replicate what i saw the best i can. the second one is new scenes/poses that came from my brain—not that they are very complicated/impressive lol, but there's a difference there. and what you can't see at all is just my attitude about drawing them! i can't particularly remember doing the first one but i guarantee i spent forever on it and was nervous about posting it. second one probably took me 7 mins and i knew it was ugly but i was zero percent embarrassed about that lol. that's progress baby!! cant even tell you how much of a difference it has made to me to let myself draw ugly things. i draw ugly things all the time. some of them get posted online. some of them get shared with one or two friends. some of them get shared with no one. and i've finally learned how to either embrace them as what they are or just shrug it off and go, "you know, this is not it! moving on." blank pages are so intimidating because you have a million opportunities to mess things up, but you also have a million opportunities to explore and learn and experiment and have fun and also to surprise yourself with what you're capable of.
i started out with nothing but a pencil and some powerful blorbo brainrot, and that was enough! that has been enough to power me through years of all the struggles and triumphs that artists go through. it was enough to help me push through every art block and keep drawing to the point that my instincts have improved and things that used to be almost impossible for me are just regular hard lol. i've actually illustrated for a print magazine a few times now, and a few weeks ago i finished my first animatic—which i always wanted to do but didn't have the skill or confidence for.
sorry this is so long, i'm just very passionate about this subject lol!! i just want every growing artist to know that if you keep trying and having fun, improvement is not only possible but inevitable. like, you don't even have to do formal studies if you don't want to. keep looking at art that you like and figuring out what is appealing to you. keep drawing what you feel like drawing. if you're no longer inspired by a piece or it's a little too tough for you right now, it's ok to drop it. you can come back later or never. you have infinite opportunities to make new and better art. and don't forget to give yourself credit for the progress you've already made. it's so hard not to compare yourself to others, and literally everyone—even the best and brightest—feels bad about their work sometimes. but try to compare yourself to your past self and pat yourself on the back for your improvement! it's okay to grow slowly, or in a way that's not so visible on the outside. just remember that you are growing, and you will only get better and better.
also, side note about notes/likes: i know it sucks to feel like your work is not getting attention when you poured a lot into it :( this might sound rich coming from me because i feel that people have been incredibly generous toward my work from the very beginning. but just know that popularity is not really about who "deserves" what, and it's not an accurate reflection of skill either. so if you feel unseen, that doesn't mean your stuff sucks. and you never know what your work might have meant to the people who saw it, even if there aren't that many. art doesn't have to be popular to be meaningful, and it doesn't have to be perfect either.
the world is a little richer and more beautiful because of the ways you are growing and the things you are sharing. so thank you, and please don't stop.
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godsfavoritescientist · 1 year ago
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(this post is satire)
I keep seeing people be like "Mabel caused the apocalypse when she gave Bill the rift!" and I think those people are missing the bigger picture. The REAL reason why Mabel caused the apocalypse is because she didn't press the red button in nwhs to shut down the portal before it finished powering on!
She had NO reason to trust Stan by that point, all the evidence she had up until then pointed towards him being some kind of supercriminal who LIED about his identity and maybe even killed the real stan, and she KNEW for a FACT that the portal being turned on would cause the end of the world, because she saw the blacklight warning messages about it only a few minutes beforehand!
But when it came down to it, she didn't listen to her own brother (a reoccurring problem :/ its so toxic to have different goals and interests and opinions from someone as perfect as Dipper), and let the portal finish activating, which DIRECTLY led to the rift existing in the first place.
And sure, you might wanna argue that Stan was the one who spent thirty years making the portal functional again, and was also the one who started the portal-turning-on process, and was also the one who convinced Mabel not to shut down the portal at the last second, and he had plenty of time to see the blacklight warning messages between the time he discovered that Ford used blacklight and the time the portal finished powering on, but she still could have shut it down before it was too late! A little bit of emotional anguish doesn't excuse making a decision that led to the end of the world.
You might also want to argue that Ford was the one who made the portal in the first place (and he was manipulated by Bill for years... which is WAY worse than being tricked by Bill for one day or for one second, and is totally 100% definitely Ford's fault. Like... who would let themselves get tricked by Bill... just don't fall for it?) but Ford at least TRIED to shut down the portal after he discovered how dangerous it was. Like, sure, he started out ignoring a lot of people who warned him that it was dangerous, and even after he found out he never fully disassembled the portal before he fell in (or even just burned the portal schematic pages), and the last thing he told Stan was "help me!" which made it sound like he WANTED Stan to turn the incredibly dangerous portal back on.... but after he came back, he dedicated all of his time to fixing his mistakes! I guess except for the time he played dungeons dungeons and more dungeons for multiple days in a row with Dipper, and didn't say anything about Stan and the kids leaving the shack once it was bill-proofed, and didnt put alien adhesive on the rift right away when he found it in the spaceship, and let himself get captured by a security droid (as if letting himself be tricked by Bill wasn't enough...) and let Dipper, a 12 year old, carry the rift in his backpack while it was still cracked, but he at least he didn't say or do anything impulsive while upset with his sibling! And DON'T say "he punched Stan" or "he told Stan to leave his house by the end of the Summer" or "he corrected Stan's grammar right before they were going to defeat Bill in a way that wouldn't have required erasing Stan's memories", none of that helped to CAUSE the APOCALYPSE. Except for I guess the time he sent that postcard to Stan. He should have never brought Stan into such a dangerous situation when he knew he might get frustrated at him tbh, and he basically goaded Stan into shoving him into the portal, which helped to eventually create the rift. He should have dropped everything with their argument and turned off the portal before continuing the conversation! But even then, he wasn't the one who let the portal get turned on AGAIN, so he's STILL less to blame than Mabel.
Even if you think he DID somehow help to cause the apocalypse more than Mabel did (btw i am judging you for that if you are. Stan and Ford did basically nothing to help cause the apocalypse how could you hate them :/), Ford was the one who bill-proofed the shack! He did way more to try to stop the apocalypse than Mabel ever did! I mean yeah, Mabel was the one who fought tooth and nail for that unicorn hair, which they couldn't have bill-proofed the shack without, let alone have a safe haven during the apocalypse or make a successful shacktron without, but she wasn't the one to glue the unicorn hair into place around the shack. All she did was follow Ford's orders (unlike Dipper, who was willing to physically fight back against Ford and almost erase his mind when he thought Bill might be possessing him! And also the time he ignored Ford telling him not to try and save him and just focus on fixing the rift, and even brought the rift with him onto the droid, a highly dangerous environment that could have broken the rift and caused the apocalypse. It was so brave of Dipper to make such a risky move even though he knew what would happen if the rift broke open). All Mabel cared about was not getting separated from her sibling (a flaw she and Stan share tbh..... but at least the only thing Stan broke on accident was a science fair project and not an interdimensional rift!). She should have just sucked it up and accepted that Dipper getting away from her toxic behaviors and getting to be taught by Ford (the best possible mentor anyone could ever have!) would have been the best thing that ever happened to him. The show literally definitely 100% implies that Mabel is suffocating Dipper's potential just like Stan did with Ford, and its really sad that she was immature enough to be THAT UPSET about something Dipper was really happy about! Like, she's literally almost 13, she should be more mature by now. Not to mention picking up the wrong backpack and not even knowing what the rift was... use your critical thinking skills, Mabel! The audience knows how dangerous it is and we don't even live in the world of the show, its not that hard :/
Handing over the rift was less influential in ending the world than LETTING the rift be CREATED, but she still should have not wanted to spend more time with her friends and family. It's just like the time Stan spent decades trying to bring back his brother (who isn't even a good person?) instead of accepting that he was gone.
Like, sure, she didn't knowingly make a deal with Bill, but she still should have known better! The time Dipper knowingly made a deal with Bill after Bill made him upset at his sister was totally different, and even though he almost dropped Mabel from high up in a theater while she was in that cake prop, its not like she actually got hurt or anything, and if anything Dipper was in more danger from that mistake. Unlike when Mabel got put in that prison bubble! She got to be in a perfectly good and not-even-all-that-creepy fantasy land! Her getting lowkey brainwashed while in the bubble and trapped in there for away from any of her friends or family for what was supposed to be eternity is a pretty good deal as far as Bill deals go! And even if Bill ended up half a second away from killing her in the end, that's still nothing compared to the bridge plan he had for Dipper that he didn't get the chance to get close to following through with.
The bottom line is, Mabel is the worst member of the Pines family, and YES it IS a competition. Comparing all of their flaws and mistakes is what the show is all about! She should have either listened to what everyone else told her to do all the time or been kicked out of the house for the summer, and even that wouldn't have been enough of a punishment. If only she had shut down the portal before Ford came back, she would have been so much more bearable :)
Tl;dr: contrary to what was said in The Last Mabelcorn, Mabel Pines is NOT a good person and nearly SINGLEHANDEDLY caused the apocalypse!!!!!
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someone-called-efg · 9 months ago
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everything i know so far regarding religion and my experiences (big post with a lot of words and some pictures too. i tried doing the image id thing so hopefully i explained it all alright) skip at your own discretion
so, for everything ive made either a comic or drawing, then i'll explain what happened a little more underneath.
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first and foremost before i start, so were on the same page, visits to heaven can occur during the time someone is asleep. this could even happen to you if you see in your dream a recently passed relative (or any passed away relative in general but for the most part it happens when the passing is recent and goodbyes didnt happen for one reason or another) and if it hasnt happened to you personally yet, you probably know someone who's experienced a visit.
with that out of the way, lets get started
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{ image id: an 8 panel comic. 1st panel shows myself with two others sat around a table, as i joke "God, if this is a sin, strike me down". 2nd panel simply says * later that night * . 3rd panel is in 1st person perspective of me in my dream, opening a door. 4th panel shows that behind the door from panel 3 that God is there floating, his hair/beard flowing into the cloud his head is casually floating on in the middle of the room. 5th panel simply shows a lighting bolt. 6th panel shows me falling through the floor. 7th panel shows me waking up in a state of panic. 8th panel simply says: TLDR: If you call upon him, he'll answer. end id }
this is a comic regarding my first visit. at the time irl i was considering becoming an atheist, so this put a solid halt in that. the reason both people with my in the 1st panel dont really have any defining features is because i was at a psych ward at the time for wanting to unalive, and they make you sign nda's there soo, thats the best i got. in the dream/visit itself i was at home, opening the door from the living room to the porch. and God wasnt just there waiting, they kinda came through the ceiling without breaking it. dont ask me how cuz even i dont know.
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{ image id: another 8 panel comic so here goes more typing yippee! 1st panel shows God from the side, simply saying "So". 2nd comic shows God turning forward, asking "Are you alright?", as though finishing what they were saying in the 1st panel. 3rd panel shows God an i sat on a couch, and while God looks normal sized, i look tiny by comparison, showing basically the setting. 4th panel is a zoom in on me as i rub the back of my neck, saying "i mean ...". 5th panel simply tldr's what happens as i * proceeds to vent ... a lot * . 6th panel shows God saying nothing, but, they * listens to every word * . 7th panel shows me, clearly upset from venting so much, but also now parched, as i tell God "I'm sorry, I've been talking so much, my throat got dry. Do you have anything I could drink?". 8th panel shows God from the side, for the first time smiling as they say "Of course" and a fridge magically appears at opposite from where i am in comparison to them. end id }
so, not even i really knew what all happened until years lated when i asked God if that visit was a therapy session because all i remembered upon waking up after is the last two panels and afterwards, when my mom and step dad came and told me that the year for earth was 2077 and that the north pole was a desert, then we went and had a mini feast with relatives (and maybe ancestors? idk, there was a fair lot of people and i didnt recognize a lot of them so maybe?) , then i woke up. and if youre going to ask why gods eyes arent visible in this comic when they were visible in that last one, at the time of drawing this comic in particular i didnt feel deserving of him looking at me and smiling, cuz lets face it, were all a bunch of sinners here all trying to do good at least. but at the time if i remember right i had a caffeine addiction to the point i needed 8 coffee/monster energy to get me through the day (4 in the morning + 4 in the afternoon), i since went cold turkey against both.
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{image id : a 4 panel comic because i finally learned my lesson so i dont have to type as much pog! 1st pannel shows myself and my brother (ftm) stood in Gods temple, and i casually ask "Hey, so, can I reincarnate?". 2nd panel shows god towering over both of us easily, their response is a smile with a "Yeah, sure" as they hold something glowing in their hand that i look into. 3rd panel is glitchy, as it shows a child 1st person perspective, the child is looking down, admittedly a bit overwhelmed while saying "mom, i memember my last life". 4th panel is glitchy as well, this time showing the vague image of a woman reaching out her hand presumably to the child, asking "what do you remember?". end id }
so, for a bit of context, the dream/visit didnt start out like that. it actually started at my great aunts house (who at the time was still alive but died very soon after) it wasnt her house when she was alive, but rather, her house in heaven. my godmother was also there, and i was helping her to remember how to fly because she had forgotten the lesson. so, in total there were 4 people there (my great aunt, my godmother, my brother, and myself) and mid way through me teaching how to fly, another of my brothers teleported into the room and just casually took a seat. after the lesson we went outside and walked around my great aunts heaven house, and when we walked a little ways away there was some kinda conflict, and i simply prayed and the conflict was over within under 10 secs. then as the group of my relatives and i went walking back to my great aunts house, i mentioned to my brother my thoughts of asking to reincarnate soon, and he says to me "why not go right now" and i agree, so we teleported to Gods temple and thats where the comic picks up at. what this told me is that being lgbtqia+ isnt a deadly sin, so any member of the rainbow community isnt going to hell for simply being lgbtqia+, which i see as an absolute win.
~~~
thats the most i got for when it comes to visits, which occur when someone's asleep. but, now, its time to go over a couple visions ive had (and no im not gonna talk about when i died cuz that would be 3 posts in a row, so if you wanna see any of that just check it in your own time) because its just visions, i didnt make comics, but just drawings, which, comics are drawings sure, but not all drawings are comics. and, so i stop rambling, lets get started.
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{ image id : the great flood. as a man drowns under the fermanent from the quickly rising water level, his soul is outside the fermanent, walking up alongside his dying body, unable to help and can only comfort his souless body by watching it slowly unalive. end id }
when i saw this, i honestly saw at least a dozen others doing this too, i also watched who i could only assume was some past incarnation of myself succumb to the same fate. and for those wondering how a soul can be out when the body is clearly still alive, well, 24 hours before someone dies, their soul's already passed on to the afterlife. where the saying 'dead man walking' comes from, because for those 24 hours, the person's already dead, the rest of the world just doesn't know yet.
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{ image id : the battle at the end of the world. vegetation is barren from the hills as a giant serpent with black scales and glowing yellow eyes makes its way through the landscape. two angels stand in the foreground, aiming their swords to the heavens, causing a pillar of light thats base covers the two. in the distance, the sky is crimson and the clouds are dark grey almost black. end id }
so. also worth mentioning that when i looked to either side of me, there were armies of God all ready for the greatest battle and ready to take part. needless to say it was overwhelming for a lot of reasons.
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so, thats all really. i could get into the couple times i saw the son of God in visits, but the first time was me in a back room with boxes and he was running by and seemed to be busy and i didnt wanna bother him because of that so i didnt say anything, and the second time we were at this park near my childhood home and i asked him if him and adam are technically in a way brothers and we both ended up laughing causing me to wake up.
~~~
from all this i understand that theres stuff im not allowed to know of my visits for one reason or another, and i kinda figure its so i dont cheat at life. because if i had all the answers, than how else is life supposed to test me.
earth is a school after all, and i at least want my place earned on Gods fridge with a magnet hopefully 🤞
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concordefliesinmyroom · 2 years ago
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introduction !!!
hii !!!! my name is Violet. i am a really big fan of art & whatnot (basic). i have been taking on a little bit of a personal challenge 2 listen 2 at least one new album every day & ive been working on that challenge for about 1.5 years now !!! i looove talking about art and sharing my thoughts and 4 the past year or so i have been posting all my thoughts and media analysis and whatnot onto my Instagram story, but i have always wanted 2 start posting my thoughts somewhere that is more.... permanent, i guess? bc Instagram stories expire after 24 hours yk. anyways. i finally made a Tumblr blog !!!!! i am COMPLETELY new 2 Tumblr. so i apologize in advance if my blog is like informal or not very "good" quality by Tumblr standards or whatever else i will get better !!!
here is what u can expect from this page:
i am going to post music reviews/recommendations most likely, as well as film & literature & all of that stuff. whenever i see a piece of media that interests me enough 2 want 2 talk abt it im gonna use this blog 2 share my thoughts !!!!
i also am really interested in philosophy, i am only just now formally getting into it, but i have been thinking about that sort of stuff and asking questions like that 4ever. erm. i wouldnt call myself a philosopher bc that feels pretentious but i aspire 2 be a philosopher eventually. ill probably post abt that sort of stuff as well. i am also VERY interested in sociology, psychology, anthropology, political science... pretty much anything like that. i just love learning about things in general EVERYTHING is so fascinating 2 me but especially humanity.
i am a bit interested in politics as well !!!! i dont like to use any labels 4 my political ideas bc i feel like those can be limiting & contribute 2 close-mindedness but if i had 2 describe my alignment in any way i am probably pretty far-left. although i am completely open 2 hearing everyone's ideas!
i might also post about other things as well, im not sure yet !!!
some info abt me:
i am a girl, so, she/her pronouns ig !
i am 16 years old (well im 15 but i turn 16 in two weeks)
i am a member of the LGBTQ community
my handle on most social media sites is yourdadcosplay if u want 2 follow me anywhere else !!! (i dont do cosplay or anything~ when i was 13 i heard some guy on tiktok say the phrase "your dad cosplay" and i thought that combination of words was super funny so i made it into my username on instagram and then it just kind of stuck. and i use that on everything now. only reason i didnt use it 4 my tumblr is bc i didnt want ppl 2 think my blog was a cosplay blog or something idk)
my favorite music artists r: Black Country New Road, Kimya Dawson, Death Grips, Xiu Xiu, and Car Seat Headrest !!!!
my favorite album of all time is Ants From Up There and my favorite movie of all time is Everything Everywhere All at Once, both of those pieces came out in the year 2022.
my favorite book is the manga Goodnight Punpun by Inio Asano, and its actually the book that made me fall in love with literature.
im currently working on creating my own website!!! i dont know anything about HTML though, so it will be a long process.
i dont believe in astrology rlly but i am a Gemini.
my iq is 122 or something around that i dont remember the number i just remember im in the 93rd percentile
i am an INFP
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boundaries:
i do try my absolute best to be open-minded and tolerant towards everyone's ideas and beliefs; even those which i disagree with. i actually encourage ppl who disagree with anything i say 2 challenge me or discuss/debate with me. that being said, if u r not willing 2 have a civil and open-minded discussion with me, and if ur only interest is arguing, then i will ask u 2 pls leave me alone. i love talking 2 ppl who have ideas different than my own, but i do not wish 2 engage in any immature internet beefs or anything of that sort.
pls, 4 the love of god, if u r the type of person who gets offended over every little thing; if u r more concerned with petty discourse & things that have no significance 2 any real-life problems; if u lack media literacy; or if u r otherwise just unintelligent, then PLEASE dont interact with my page.
i try my absolute best 2 be a good person. if i ever do anything that u find 2 be morally offensive (this is not just if i say something that makes u feel a bit of angst, but if i say something that u feel is actually problematic.) or if we r interacting directly & i make u uncomfortable, PLEASE TELL ME! i hate it when ppl have problems with me that could easily be resolved but they just dont tell me. it makes me anxious.
also, pls note:
just because i talk about a certain piece of media or art or literature on this blog does not necessarily mean that i agree with the ideas expressed in that blog or even that i like that piece. i try my best to think 4 myself and i do not take all of the ideas that r expressed 2 me as the absolute truth. just because i read any given book does not mean that i necessarily agree with its ideas; the same goes 4 all of the topics i discuss here.
as a large part of this blog is abt media discussion & whatnot, i want 2 say that i am absolutely open 2 any art. and i will not avoid any piece of media just because it is allegedly problematic.
most of this page is dedicated 2 sharing and discussing my ideas on various topics like art, philosophy, politics, and such. i dont think that im going 2 be posting or saying anything that is incredibly morally offensive or anything, and 2 be honest i dont even think my ideas r particularly radical or controversial, but, if there ever does come a time when i might have a potentially controversial idea, i wont hesitate 2 share it. im not going 2 censor myself or sugarcoat my beliefs on this blog just 2 avoid discourse.
all of that being said, this blog is not 2 be taken 100% seriously either. i will talk abt serious topics on here, but i like 2 laugh as well! u should not assume that anything i say is 100% serious or 100% satirical. that SHOULD be a given, but on my Instagram account, i have had a worrying amount of interactions with ppl who got mad at me 4 things bc they assumed i was serious when i wasnt or vice versa.
ok, that is all !!! thx 4 reading !!!
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lunatic-fandom-space · 2 years ago
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Im about to watch RWBY Volume 9 because I need some background noise while I translate a german version of Jesus Christ Superstar and then I remembered that I watched that RWBY DC crossover a few days ago as background noise while I made my lyric videos and then I wanted to make a post about my thoughts but then I just. never did. So I might as well do it now
Before that though, I feel the need to explain myself and my lyric-video-translation process. Basically, what I do is I pick my song that Id like to translate from german to english and then I make what is essentially a normal lyric video, which involves a lot of me listening to the song a bunch of times so I can make sure everything is properly synched up, in this particular case I actually had to listen to the entirety of the song in order to make sure it was actually synched because something went horribly wrong with my editing app and I couldnt figure out how to fix it. And then once Im done with my lyric video I can just kinda turn the audio off and add my english translation without worrying about anything because Ive already synched everything up properly. When I do musical soundtracks like this I usually synch up all the lyrics for all the songs first before getting to the actual translation process, which means theres a long period of time where Im just kinda listening to the same part over and over, except worse and it took me even longer this time because again, something went wrong and I had to listen to the songs from the beginning, otherwise it just inexplicably wouldnt synch up, and because I have a low attention span Im usually watching youtube videos or movies Ive already seen at this point
Now, I was still in the lyric video stage when I watched this movie (I was doing Pilate and Christ if youre curious) so picture this: im sitting in front of my computer, I have this RWBY DC crossover open in some piracy site bc I was looking for A Movie and this one came out recently so it was on the front page, I have my tablet with the lyric video Im about to make in front of me, Im wearing headphones, one of them isnt actually on my ear because I need to be able to hear both the song and the movie at the same time, Im playing the song over and over again as I watch the movie, slowly zoning out entirely the further I get into it because thats just kinda what happens when youre forced to listen to the same first two minutes of a song even when you do have some background noise to break up the monotony a little
The reason Im giving you that long winded explanation of the boring shit I do for fun is because I want to stress to you that I was practically physically incapable of properly paying attention to anything. So you would think that I would also be incapable of finding shit to criticize or complain about, after all, I barely managed to watch the movie
And you would be very wrong. Im gonna be honest I just wrote that long intro to whatever this is in like 20 minutes and Ive already run out of steam so please enjoy this bullet point list of mostly shit I didnt like about this crossover, as someone who doesnt know anything about DC and also didnt pay a lot of attention just in general
The Justice Leagues semblances were so bad you can tell they just kinda took their existing superpowers, barely if at all modified them and went "yep, those are semblences alright" and as a result Superman, Wonderwoman and Green Lantern all basically have the same semblance, which inexplicably consists of multiple unrelated abilities and also Vixen's semblance seems pretty similar to theirs as well
The dialogue was so awkward man, I know some stan is gonna try and defend it by being like "well none of these people know each other ofc theyre gonna be awkward" guess what, i dont care if you can like stuff about this show for no reason I can dislike stuff about this show for no reason
That weird love triangle between Nora, Ren and Cyborg was so weird and unnecessary and idk why it was there
'Weird, unecessary and idk why it was there' is honestly a great way to describe this whole movie, I dont get why they did this Isekai thing with the Justice League I feel like this wouldve been better if they were already just characters in RWBY's world but I guess then neither continuity would be able to really consider it canon which would be bad I guess??? Idk i think this crossover thing was a bad idea tbh and they shouldve made it more of a cross-promotional thing where its like "lookat the RWBYfied versions of these DC characters!!" "oooooo look at the DCified versions of these RWBY characters!!" for one movie each if you know what I mean
Speaking of pointless romance, I saw some people say that they didnt like the weird romantic subplot between Bruce and Weiss but honestly, I didnt even see one there they had less romantic sparks flying between them than Bumbleby and thats saying a lot, not that I was paying too much attention
Ive seen some DC fans say that Bruce's thing about him maybe not wanting to leave Remnant because hes got powers there was really out of character and idk anything about that, I just know that that whole thing was pointless and barely set up and didnt mean anything at all for anyone
Ruby's arc about learning to be a better team leader is something that she shouldve had in like volume 4 max this is too late into the show for the Main Character whos been leading A Team since basically day one to learn how to do it, then again its not like shes gotten any meaningful screentime in the past 9 years so maybe that justifies it
Killgore or Killg%re or whatever was just cringe
When Killgore was explaining his plan and how he was working with someone and then it turned out that he was actually trapped in this VR world by that someone, I thought, oh its probably Salem given that shes yknow, the main villain. I mean, it doesnt really make sense why she would do all this shit but its not like her motivations and actions have ever been consistent right. And then he was like "he" and I went, its fucking Ironwood?? Are you joking?? Like, yeah, I'll give them a smidge of credit here, that does make more sense but I hate how these guys' weird desire to demonize Some Guy gets in the way of even attempting to make The Actual Main Villain even remotely threatening. Someone tell MKEK that sidelining a female character in favor of a male character isnt suddenly less sexist because shes Satan Herself but they wanna villanize the "shitty white guy" instead
The action scenes were decent enough, obviously nowhere near the level of Volume 1-3s fightscenes but Ive definitely seen worse from RWBY at this point
I guess the mystery aspect was fine too I was atleast kinda intrigued
And to end this whole thing on a somewhat positive note, heres some stuff I actually kinda liked:
While the isekai thing honestly doesnt seem like a good idea, it was still kinda fun watching people from a setting more similar to our world interact with Remnant and try to blend in even though they had no idea what was going on
I kinda liked Barry, he was pretty fun
I really liked Jessica, her finding that ring and saying that rhyming incantation actually gave me goosebumps, her VA was really good. I just wish she didnt spend all her screentime with Jaune and also I wish Jaune died already
I liked that they were wearing their Beacon Era outfits for most of it so I didnt have to endure their absolutely horrendous Atlas outfits although I am about to watch Volume 9 and they dont get an outfit change from what Ive seen so. You cant run from your problems forever I guess
Thats about it, but to bring this thing full circle Id like to once again elaborate on my lyric video translation stuff. Right now Im fully done with the lyric videos and all I gotta do is add in the english translations which I can do without needing to listen to the music, which means I can actually listen to the dialogue at the very least even if Im not properly looking at the screen. I was originally gonna do the same thing with Volume 9 as the crossover movie which is to say, blast music while watching and fully zoning out half the time but I figured the actual volume deserves a little more respect than that. I mean, thats still not a lot but RT isnt getting any more than this from me
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shen-the-hopeless · 1 month ago
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HE DIDNT NOTICE ME AGAIN, FFS
So there I was, sitting in the break room, holding a copy of Tomie like it was some kind of magic ticket to Kai’s heart. I’d borrowed it from the library after some intense Googling the night before. “What does it mean if your goth crush reads Tomie?” I’d typed in like some desperate fool. The internet, as usual, offered no help, just some random Reddit threads and a bunch of aesthetic posts about Junji Ito that made me spiral even more. But I figured, hey, if Tomie is his thing, maybe he’ll notice me if I’m reading it too. Like, maybe he’ll see it and think, Wow, she gets me. She’s not like the others.
Spoiler alert: He didn’t.
I sat at the table, trying to angle the book just enough so he’d notice the cover, but not so obviously that I looked like I was waving a flag. I even flipped the pages louder than usual, hoping he’d hear. You know, those little passive-aggressive page flips that say, Look at me! I’m interesting too! But no, Kai was sitting there with his own copy of My Dress-Up Darling, completely oblivious.
And it’s not like he didn’t know I was there. He gave me a polite little nod when he came in, the kind you give to a stranger you see often enough to acknowledge their existence but not enough to care. Then he sat down, adjusted his sweater so one of his shoulders slipped out (of course), and buried himself in his manga like I wasn’t even there.
It was soul-crushing. I mean, here I was, practically performing mental gymnastics to be in the same room as him, to hold the same book he probably worshipped, and he didn’t even glance my way. Not once.
I tried to keep my cool. Really, I did. But it got to me. I started tapping my foot, first softly, then harder, like maybe the rhythm would catch his attention. Nothing. So then I tapped my fingers on the table. Still nothing. Finally, I gave up on subtlety and dropped my wrists onto the table with a soft thud. Not too loud—just enough to say, Hey, notice me!
But guess what? He didn’t even flinch. Just turned a page like I wasn’t there, like my very existence wasn’t crying out for some kind of acknowledgment.
And that’s when I broke. In my head, I was already spiraling into this toxic cocktail of self-hatred and rage. For a few seconds, I actually hated him. I hated how perfect he was. I hated how focused he was, how he could just sit there in his stupid choker and knee-high boots and be so oblivious. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair!
I wanted to scream. I wanted to stomp my feet and throw my stupid library copy of Tomie across the room. Instead, I did the most pathetic thing imaginable: I stomped my foot—softly—and hit the table with my wrists again, like some sad little tantrum. Of course, I kept it quiet because God forbid I actually make a scene. No, that would be too embarrassing, even for me.
He didn’t react. Not a single twitch of his perfect, stupidly attractive face.
So there I was, stewing in my failure, my cheeks burning with humiliation, when I made a decision. This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. I swore to myself right then and there that I’d try again.
The first step? Figure out his schedule. I mean, it wasn’t stalking if we worked at the same place, right? It was just… strategic observation. I’d already noticed he always took his break at the same time every day, but now I needed more details. What days did he work? What shifts? When was he most likely to be in the break room?
I started mentally planning ways to accidentally-on-purpose end up in the same place as him more often. Maybe if I showed up enough, he’d finally notice me. Maybe he’d even say something. And if not, well… I’d have to find another way to get his attention.
Because the way I saw it, I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t just let him sit there, being perfect and unattainable and completely unaware of the emotional chaos he was causing in my life. I had to do something. Anything.
And if that meant risking another humiliating moment like today, so be it. Because even though I hated him in that moment, even though I wished he’d drop his stupid manga and realize I existed, I knew deep down that I didn’t really hate him. I hated me.
But I also couldn’t give up. Not yet. Not when the tiniest, most delusional part of me still believed that maybe, just maybe, I could be the one to break through his quiet, goth-anime-boy shell.
Even if it killed me. Which, let’s be real, it probably would.
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thesauce8 · 29 days ago
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dude, i know this is crazy, but i promise i only found you here by accident. this is funny. anyways, half of what you said i didnt say or you misunderstood, but you blocked me before i could clarify. tt format is very unhelpful when you need to flush things out, so i probably didnt properly articulate my point over there. i told you i wanted to help you understand (or for you to help me understand your point), but you were having none of it. when we were talking, i kept citing my sources for my beliefs through quotes but you refused to cite yours and just retorted that i was wrong. i cant exactly look back at my comments, but if i started out rude or judgmental, i apologize. that was immature of me. ive seen a lot of misinterpretation of obito, so i tend to assume the worst.
i didnt say that obito didnt love rin (and if i did, it means i phrased myself very poorly, but i remember clarifying this in a later comment), i said that the romantic aspect of their relationship was completely unrelated to the conflict obito faced with kakashi (post-accident) and the world because your video and caption phrased it in a way that made it seem like you thought the conflict was breeded from it. obito and rin being besties is the important part that a lot of people ignore in favor of painting obito as a simp and diminishing the depth of their bond. the crush and any contempt derived from it towards kakashi was only relevant pre-accident, which i said because you stated in your caption something about obito needing to accept rin chose kakashi when referring to her death.
i am willing to hear you out on obito blaming kakashi *if you cite your sources!!* please give me a quote or something because thats what i use to form my opinions. the reason i dont think obito blames kakashi is because right after rins death, he says he didnt kill kakashi because he didnt care about what happens to him since he’ll see the real him in the IT. he didnt know rin killed herself, but he also didnt seem to have a particularly strong (or existing) hatred towards kakashi. if you give me a quote that shows he did hate him, i wont be stubborn.
i also dont know where you got me saying kakashi and obito werent friends? i said they werent best friends; rin and obito were. they had a rivalry and cared about each other, but their relationship was a little rocky, and obito states that they were just starting to get along right before his consciousness faded after getting crushed by the rock.
obito trying to kill kakashi doesnt mean he hates him (sounds crazy, i know, but its not impossible). obito dissociates and sees this kakashi as a “fake”. he tries to kill and mocks kakashi because of practicality. killing is what you do to those who oppose you (when youre a villain lol) since they’re problematic. mocking him throws him off his game, which makes it easier to kill him. the real kakashi is gonna be in the IT, and he’ll see him there. this kakashi is also a connection to his past self, which may contribute to his desire to eliminate him.
its the same reason he kills so many people despite wanting everyone to live in a world free of pain and suffering. to him, these people are imposters, and the real them (and him) will exist within the infinite tsukuyomi. this kakashi is scum, he himself is scum, everyone who isnt scum will become scum. he didnt experience a change of philosophy when he offered kakashi peace in the IT because he didnt call kakashi scum out of hatred. he knows that the world forced kakashi to become scum, so he doesnt blame him for rins death, and thats why he feels this world is a hell. it forces everyone to either become scum or dead.
as you can see, a whole essay was needed for me to explain my thoughts, which might explain any poor delivery on the app that heavily limits the amount of characters you can use in a comment. i still think its hilarious that this came up on my home page. its possible youll block me here too, but at least my thoughts have been released in full.
sooo chat apparently obito never loved rin, obito & rin we’re only best friends, apparently obito never blamed kakashi at first (before he got over it and told him he STOPPED blaming him), apparently obito & kakashi never were friends at one point or got along until the tree incident. 🤷🏽‍♂️
as if obito didn’t hate and blame kakashi for the entire incident at first and tried to kill bro buuuut okay! :))))) those are the kind of comments I’ve been getting on TikTok for talking about the kakashi obito rin situation xDD but no none of that stuff happened (being sarcastic).
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bluesandboos · 2 years ago
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HI THAT ANON WAS ME i have no idea why i sent it on anon actually 😭
I LOVE the long posts so this will probably be long as well <3 waking up to muchachos sounds like the best thing ever omg DONT APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR SCREAMING I WAS DOING THE SAME AT HOME OMG i kept seeing videos of people at those screens, i cant imagine what it was like to actually be there 😭 the baby in front of you sleeping through the whole thing 😭❤️
i have no memories period of di maria's goal i was literally floating my way through that match and i will NEVER sit through it fully again (except certain parts obv)
that song's this one! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTnRlJTusME it's prob my favorite tbh it's just so catchy!!
I literally don't remember that save either, everyone was talking about it afterwards but my hands were literally still shaking from the match in general, i saw it on instagram. i don't even remember most of the shootout but SOMOS TODOS MONTIEL I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANT AND IT STILL GAVE ME CHILLS THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT
going to gardens and getting only honking sounds about right and a very specific, but no less valid vibe of its own 👍 literally every time i see pictures or videos of the celebrations, even now, i am in actual awe over the amount of people that turned out and celebrated (obviously lol) before the parade even and even more during it!! someone told me the dibu burger is actually super good, im genuinely dying to try it it looks great 😭 that image is so funny though, argentina won the wc and people are lining up to buy the dibu's burger as they should!! the store owners were either worried about crowds or they shut down to go celebrate themselves lbr 💀
the newspaper!!! gloria eterna thats beautiful stuff!!!! and the goat chips omg, pls dont apologize i am loving the visual aspect of this i've been watching celebration videos non-stop bc i watched so many after they won that its all my instagram recommendations show me anymore. https://mobile.twitter.com/PLF_2008/status/1606926273833467905 this is my favorite <3
i'm so glad you had fun it seems like such a surreal experience and thank you so much for these answers and videos!!!!❤️
OMG HI HI HI thank you for enjoying my rambles <3333 it was so nice to go through it all again, ugh i miss it so much
the baby was built different. i KNOW he's gonna hear it when he gets older about how he fell asleep during the 2022 wc final when argentina became campion del mundo. literally the greatest match of all time and he knocked.
di maria's goal, once i re-watched the highlights and actually registered what was happening, is literally the sexiest thing i've ever seen. the loss of possession, the build up, the quick passes. A TEAM GOAL FR. but whenever i re-watch highlights i can only watch argentina's goals. i have to fast-forward through the penalties that france gets and mbappe's goal; it upsets me too much lmao
also after di maria's goal, people were chanting his name and the camera's were showing how he was crying after he scored and i was just so happy for him <333 also afterwards, I read this article (https://www.theplayerstribune.com/articles/angel-di-maria-argentina-english) and it just made me even more happy that he got a goal in a wc final + won the wc.
ole ole ola is a BANGER omg argentines only coming up with bangers confirmed ty for the link :))
i ended up getting a dibu burger at the airport!!! 10/10 would eat again, my man dibu only comes out with quality content, on and off the pitch.
ppl were wasted af lmao one drunk man came up to my dad (who does not speak a lick of spanish) and was literally in tears trying to hug him and my dad was just like "sir, it's okay, you won, it's okay" (in english, mind you)
for real though, i legit think about how lucky i was to be there and experience it all every single day. and i get a nice reminder every day because my social media is ALSO ALL FOOTBALL now. my tiktok for you page still shows me edits ("the little boy from rosario" lives rent free in my head) and i obviously have to watch every time. although i can't re-watch the 120' minute save because it literally gives me anxiety that it's going to go in this time (even though it's literally over).
that tweet omg :))) im just so happy not only for the players but for the PEOPLE, the way that they loved that team and suffered through all the finals and losses. no one else deserved it more. i love seeing the abuelas dancing in the street and the songs about them- makes me so happy :)
it was so surreal. top memory of life. thank you again for asking and sitting through my rambles and content dump <3
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nikethestatue · 3 years ago
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No, Elain did treat Feyre abysmally horribly all her life, lets not forget it. Shes written as a kind person but what was so kind when she let Feyre go out into the woods at 14, and then not even helping Feyre when she came back with game. If Elain was kind, shouldn’t she have told Feyre that she would prep the meat? That she would clean the meat. But no, instead Elain actually flinches away from dirty smelly Feyre, she cant stand to touch her when dirty but she sure as hell will take her food huh? (Early pages of Acotar if you dont believe this)
And what about when both her and Nesta bought themselves matching bracelets—with feyres money— and then didn’t buy her one? Thats Elain being a mean girl to Feyre. It doesn’t just fall on Nesta.
Or what about when Nesta tells Feyre such horrible words and what does Sweet Elain do? Runs after her to console Nesta when she should be consoling her baby sister that was just verbally abused.
Elains actions towards Feyre may not have been as loud as Nestas actions were, but Elain was just as horrible to Feyre. Buying her some paints-with feyres money- and baking her a cake doesn’t negate her behavior towards her little sister—that she hasnt even apologized for, but only once acknowledged it. And then you cant even say that shes apologized through her actions bc she hasnt even done anything either to show Feyre how sorry she is (no “letting” her use the house doesn’t count considering she even has the house because of Feyre, in all accounts the house is Feyres by right), shes nice right now to her because Feyre has the money and Feyres the one protecting her now because Nesta no longer isnt.
If you’re gonna claim everyone in Feyres life has treated her abysmally dont end it off with “except Elain” own up to your fav having treated her sister horribly too. Dont forget Elain too knew the pregnancy secret and didn’t say anything to Feyre either. Own up to Elain having made her mistakes.
My post was specifically about the pregnancy. There is no indication anywhere that Elain knew about the danger to Feyre or the winged baby. She wasn't present during any of those discussions, she didnt talk to Nesta, so Nesta didn't tell her, and I doubt that Cassian and Azriel ran to tell her. I certainly don't see Rhys sharing that info with her--for what purpose? and I think he knew that she'd turn around and tell Feyre. She doesn't really take orders from him, unlike the rest of them.
So there is no evidence that she knew about the baby.
As for ACOTAR, yes, no one is denying that the sisters were caricatures in ACOTAR. Caricatures of badness and stupidity--the evil sister and the weak sister. In Feyre's own words, she thought of Elain as good and decent and kind. So I personally have a hard time with ACOTAR and how the sisters were written, and it was clear that SJM didn't think that she'd write more about them, so they were throw-away characters. Their development began in ACOMAF. I am sorry, I cannot judge the sisters by ACOTAR. Neither can I entirely judge Tamlin by ACOTAR, or Rhys. All of these characters got flashed out starting in ACOMAF and now we know how it all progressed.
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arthurflecksgirl · 3 years ago
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Hey, how is your day going so far? I hope it's splendid! Can I request an Arthur x reader where the reader is recovering from self harm and he is proud of them? You can choose it to be sfw or nsfw. Thanks in advance! :)
Hey Anon, Thank you for your ask. I 'm okay and I hope you are doing well,too?! I am soooo sorry this took me so long but I finally sat down today and wrote your request. I was thinking about that request since you first send it to me. It was a beautiful one but also a tough one. Itˋs a sensitive subject and I was struggeling with how I wanted to write it. I was afraid to write it in a way you wouldnt approve so I am a bit nervous posting this and I hope with all my heart that you will like the result. This request was close to my heart but a bit of a struggle until I finally sat down. I am sending love to anyone. Especially everyone who had to go through this or still does go through it.
Words: 1900
Trigger warning: Mentions of self harm
Arthur nervously chewed on his pencil ,while the blank page of his journal was staring at him like it expected something good to happen. More than one good thing happened in his life recently and he absolutely hated how difficult it was for him to put his emotions into words. Words worthy of how he truly felt about not being alone anymore. He felt like the emotion of it was a seed he didnt knew how to water properly ,to make it the flower that was a written page in his diary. One he would like to show to you , randomly in the middle of the night. To proof how he felt inside. Blooming.
He always felt like he wasnˋt good with words but so much better with showing his feelings off in a different way. A movement of his body when you were slow dancing across the bedroom, a piece of music hummed into your ear while he was pulling you closer, the touch of his thumb brushing your cheek before he leaned in to kiss you. Body language was his way to express what was growing deep inside of him. A love so immessurable, he was becoming a new man. And you were his garden he wanted to spent the rest of his life in. He wanted to build a cabin right in the middle of the gardens heart and plant roses and violets. Once he figured out how to water them and which flowers demend more sunlight or which ones prefered the shadows. He wanted to learn every aspect of your soul. Flower by flower. Petal by petal. To let his roots grow towards yours. Arthur touched the artificial flowers on his desk. They reminded him of who he used to be. Unreal and far from what he desired to be. No sunlight could have touched him  enough to let him grow.
Until there was you. His garden. He finally became what he was supposed to be. A sunflower. The flower of joy and happiness. But also the flower of the man who once drank yellow painting to commit suicide by putting happiness inside himself. At least that was the rumor Arthur heard on tv when he watched a documentary about Vincent Van Gogh. And he was quiet fascinated by it. Somehow the though was relateable to him. In a very abstact, sad, beautiful way.
„Last week“ he wrote , trying to draw a sunflower but it just didnt turned out the way he intented to. „She  finally felt comfortable enough to wear a short sleeve in front of me. I guess that means she really does feel save around me. Ah, it means the world!“  Arthur smiled to himself when he drew a tiney heart and filled it in. His heart was so full of you. Just thinking about the way you took off your comfort sweater for the first time to show him the scars of the past ,created a feeling in his heart he couldnˋt name. 
It has been a while since you let him know about your struggles with self harm. And Arthur could tell that it wasnˋt an easy thing to do. He would always remember the moment he first saw your naked arms. The pattern of hurt on your fragile skin. This moment of vulnerability and strengh. He wanted to kiss it. Arthur wanted to kiss along every single scar to show you how beautiful you were to him and how much he belived in the power of a gentle lip kissing where it hurts the most. But he didnˋt. Arthur wasnˋt sure if it was the right moment yet. He didnt wanted to do anything wrong. So he just sat there, thinking about placing kisses all over, while he picked his own eyebrow with his fingers.
„One day“ he wrote underneath the heart „I will kiss  her scars and she will feel what I felt when she was taking care of me“. Arthur put the pencil down and took a deep drag of his cigarette. Smoke filled his lungs but he wished it was your breath instead.
A familiar noise interrupted his daydream as he put the remains of the cig in his pink ashtray. „Hey darling, Iˋm home“. Your voice made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The way you called him darling was music in his ears. His favourite song he repeated in his head when he was at work or taking the bus. He sometimes hummed the words „Hey darling“ , as if it was a prayer. „Hey darling Iˋm home“. Home. That was never the word he would have used to  discribe the place he was living in. Never what he thought of when he felt the worn fabric of his couch underneath his naked skin or was lying in the bathtube, checking for how long he could handle to keep his head under water. This place with all itˋs heavyness wasnˋt home. But it transformed into a home eveytime you opened the door to wrap your arms around him. A genlte kiss upon his forehead. His noticlable frown  underneath your lips. Hey darling, Iˋm home. You are home, finally. We are. A home.
Arthur shifted his position ,so your lips immediately found their way to his forehead. „Forehead kisses“ he thought „Are her way to tell me how much she cares“. He closed his eyes for a moment. His dark lashes covering his piercing eyes like a curtain, to feel the moment with all itˋs gentleness. When Arthur opened his eyelids again he noticed something wrapped around your wrist. His heart stopped for a moment. The thought of you harming yorself again hit him so hard he forgot how to breathe. „Y/N…are you….okay? Oh my god…“ Arthurs index finger reached out for your wrist. He barely dared touching it. His tear filled eyes blurring his sight.
„Yeah, I am. How was your day, Arthur?“ you replied as you sat down on his lap to kiss the corner of his mouth. You noticed his lips trembling underneath your own. A tiney earthquake emerging from within. His day was okay while he was sittin on his desk thinking of all the beautiful things he could write to you. Until you came home with a hurt wrist. Now nothing remained okay. Seeing you hurt was worse than his own pain. Your wound was his wound. Arthur held your face between his hands, unable to responde with a kiss.
„Are you…. Are you hurt?“ he whispered, pointing at your bandage. He wanted to be here for you. Now more than ever. His mind was travelling back to the day you found him with a bleeding forehead after he hit his head against the wall. He recalled your hand resting on the spot that hurt so much and how it lead to the first forehead kiss he received in his life. Thatsˋs when he knew he wasnˋt all alone in this anymore. Thats when he knew that, yes there will be bad days , even together but he didnt had to face them on his own anymore. There was someone looking after him. Someone willing to ease the pain. To heal his wounds. Old or recent. He remembered how gently you held his hurting head, fingers brushing  back his hair to clean the wound. Heˋll never forget the first act of kindness and love from a loved one.
And now it was his turn to tell you itˋs going to be okay. His turn to take care of your wounds.
„No baby, Iˋm not hurt. Iˋve got a little suprise for you…“ Arthurˋs eyes glanced deeply into yours „A…. surprise? What do you mean?“
You lifted your arm smiling at him. Thats when he noticed your wrist wasnˋt bandaged but wrapped in some kinda foil. You slowly started to unwrap it, a big smile lingering on your face. „Darling, I hope you like it“.
Arthur couldnt belive his eyes. Were once was a scar six letters showed. Written on your wrist. Six letters so familar, he started sobbing.
„Oh Arthur….“ You touched his cheek „You like it?“
He covered his mouth with his right hand, mumbling.
„I thought about this  for a while now. Getting your name tattooed to cover my oldest scar“.
A single tear ran down his happy face „Thats…. Just…. Wow. I…. donˋt know what to say. Thatˋs my name. You got a tattoo of my name. „ Arthur couldnt stop staring at the letters. „Can I….touch it?“.
 You smiled „Not yet, itˋs still fresh and I need to put some cream on it.“
„Oh! Yeah…. Of course.“
Arthur tried to understand what was happpening right now. A minute ago he was afraid you hurt yourself again and now  he found himself looking at a tattoo that was his very own name. Part of you.
He felt your other hand touching his blushing cheek „I really wanted this to remind me of how beautiful things can happen after experiencing so much pain. There is this scar and itˋs still there but somehow it belongs to my past and it doesn´t define me. It never did. And now there is you. The light that came after the dark. The one who understands my scars and eases the pain by loving me for who I am. I love you, Arthur, I love you so much itˋs so demanding and beautiful and …..now youˋre always on my mind, in my heart and under my skin.“
Arthur gently lifted your hand, careful enough to not touch the tattoo. „I love you“ he whispered „Can I…. can I kiss your…“ goosebumps covered your skin as his upper lip found itˋs way to travel across your arm. Soft kisses, thoughtful and warm, scar after scar. You couldnt help but cry a little. Arthur froze „My god, Iˋm sorry I only wanted to…“
„Donˋt stop“ you whispered through the tears „Please….“
The light in Arthurs eyes came back when he realized it was happy tears running down your cheeks. Tears of relief and inner peace.
„Remember when you found me after….“
„I do, Arthur.“
„That was the first time I felt truly loved“ he breathed, while he continued kissing your skin.
„You found me at my worst. And loved me. Especially where it hurt the most“
You closed your eyes, concentrating on the softness of his lips. His presence was medicine. Calming and warm like a favourite sweater.
You remembered  very well. It was the day you knew that you would give the world to protect this man. The beautiful soul that Arthur was. You couldnt change his past but write his future. You and him together. Sitting in front of a blank page, where anything was possible.  Every yet unborn poem was demanding to be written. Every small moement of happiness. And when the pages get torn and some parts get blacked out, you would be here to put a sticker on it. Heart shaped. One thatˋs glowing in the dark. So when he openes his journal at night he couldnt see the scribbles and blacked out parts. Only the bandage that was love.
Just like the words written on your wrist.
Arthur.
 
„I wanna do the same for you“ he mumbled between the kisses „Loving you where it hurts the most…so...“ he lifted his face, looking at you „…where does it hurt?“
„Every inch untouched  by your loving hands“.
Only a heartbeat later Arthurs thumb gently brushed over your bottom lip as he whispered „Let me take care of that“.
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