#shes a complex fucked up woman who did fucked up things

[mephoj]

also now that its been confirmed in your face that the contestants literally could not leave the island if they wanted to can everyone shut the fuck up about taco. she has no life outside of the show to return to, no way of leaving, and the only other people on the entire island, the only people she has to talk to at all, view her as this great evil and want nothing to do with her. genuinely What is she supposed to do with that. what other options did she have other than continuing the behaviors she's known for, or confronting everyone eventually? was she supposed to just rot away alone in the forest or what

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The Sword of Kaigen

standalone fantasy set in a rural mountain village at the edge of an empire that still holds traditional values, with families of powerful water/ice magic warriors

follows a powerful young heir who begins to question his beliefs about the empire when a new boy comes to his village from the city

and his mother, a housewife who has tried to forget her youth as a warrior and vigilante in the city since she moved back home to a loveless marriage

when there’s a violent attack on their village that they’re unprepared for, everything changes, and she has to embrace her old skills to protect her family and people

[rememberwren]

Thinking about established soap/reader drifting into ghoap/reader territory…hear me out:

Soap’s had his girl back home for a few missions now; it’s become Known. Ghost is no longer surprised when Soap mentions missing her or when he finds some inevitable way to bring her up in conversation.

Sometimes at night when they’re in close quarters, Ghost gets stuck overhearing one-sided phone conversations between Soap and his girl—filthy shit that has him wondering what he wants most: to have a woman to mutter things like that to or to have Soap muttering them to him.

Ghost gets enamored with them both. His complex feelings for Johnny have been growing as long as they’ve been teammates, but now he finds himself wanting to know more about the girl who has captured Soap’s eye.

And Soap misses nothing.

Shall I tell her you say hi? he teases. Fuck off. Showing Ghost selfies she sends, watching the way Ghost’s eyes eat up the arc of her smile and the curve of her cheek.

The videos become a constant too. As often as they’re given access to their civilian devices—as soon as Soap turns on his phone, he is making a quick escape with his headphones into his bunk. Ghost can only imagine the things you must send: all the different perverse things you happily film yourself doing just to keep Soap entertained during the long nights apart, all the dirty things that will pass your sweet looking lips.

As he and Soap grow closer, one night Johnny flops down beside Ghost and pulls up a video: you spread out on a bed based on the soft mussed sheets beneath you, tugging aside the gusset of some lacy scrap so you can slip two fingers inside yourself.

Sent this one for you, she did, Soap says.

[madeofstardust17]

So what really bothers me about this season was how they reducer every single character to their most basic cliches, when in previous seasons they were so much more than that. Hear me out:

Luther was made into this happy-go-lucky, dumb himbo, when in reality, he's a guy who takes stuff seriously, who does his best to take care of everyone, and has emotional depth. They took that away from him. He's smart, even if they try to make it out like he isn't. They reduced him to just endless positivity and a pretty body (and even that they turned into a joke, giving him an ape body again and ignoring all his trauma related to that).

Diego was reduced to this useless, bitter, suburban dad, who thinks he's owed more than he has. In reality, he was so excited to be a dad. He's a good detective, he's empathetic, he has this sensitivity that he tries to hide but shines when he talks to others. More than anything, he's a provider, he thrives when he has someone to protect, to care for.

Allison has always been a badass, and a good mom. They made that shine, but she was so much more than that. She was complex, and endlessly optimistic, fighting for what was right. She was a good sister, and they made her bitter about that too.

Klaus was reduced to just humor, and not even well done. His little adventures used to mean something for him, and to the plot. They just made him a whore and did nothing for him. The only good thing I will say was that they took his addiction seriously for once. Still, he was useless to the plot, when once he was the key they were all missing.

Five. Oh my fucking God. They did him the most dirty. He would come off as aloof and uncaring, but underneath it, we all understood he loved his family more than anything, that he did everything in his power to protect them. They reduced him to that facade, they made him cold and selfish, willing to hurt his sibling just for his own personal gain.

With Ben, they spent the entire past season making him into this guy who was really rubbish at being the bad guy, who wanted a real family deep down. They reduced him to this asshole who spent the entire season swearing up and down that the umbrellas where not his family.

With Viktor, they tried to make him this cool, confident, independent (apparently womanizer?) dude who gave zero shits about his family. WHEN ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS HIS SIBLINGS' RESPECT. HE WANTED TO BE PART OF THE TEAM. And then they proceeded to make him work??? With his abusive dad???? Who suddenly cared???? And he ignored the rest of his siblings until the last possible minute.

Lila was always the cool, independent, secure woman, who didn't really need a man. They spent two seasons assuring us that she could be on her own just fine, but Diego completed her. He was the perfect person for her, bc he could give her what she craved, a family, people she could rely on. Instead on continuing that, finding a way to balance her family and a job (or something) to let her be something more than just a bored suburban mom, they made her into this insecure woman in her marriage, who just tosses it all aside for FIVE. Who is so incompatible with her that is not even funny.

If you've read this entire rant, congrats, you have my respect.

[batboyblog]

Strange feeling,

9 years ago I started knocking doors with two goals in mind. I wanted to elect America's first woman President, a candidate I believed in deeply who inspired me and who was amazingly qualified to take on the hardest most complex job in the world. The other goal was equally clear, our future and our progress was at risk if a Republican took office, the Supreme Court was on the line, Republican Party was fixated on getting rid of Obamacare, attacking Social Security and Medicare, rolling back our new wins for LGBT rights, and of course banning abortion. In the Summer and Fall of 2015 it became more and more clear that the Republicans would pick Donald Trump and so the goal became even more clear and important, Stop Trump.

9 years of knocking doors across 5 elections I've come right back to where I started, the doors are different, I'm older, grayer, this Election Day I was not up at 5am doing lit drops (and god bless all the early birds who did that today). But I'm again voting for, and supporting an amazing, smart, qualified woman candidate who inspires me, and I'm voting to Stop Trump.

9 long years ends today, Today we finally finally FINALLY get to turn the page and put an end to Trump. How good will it feel to go weeks, even months, and years, without having to think about Donald Trump, talk about Donald Trump? 9 years is a long time to be stuck in a national abusive relationship, and no it won't fix everything, but damn it'll feel good.

9 years ago, one of the things that inspired me to work as hard as I did for Hillary Clinton was my grandma. She turned 90 in 2015, and would have turned 99 a few days ago. She was whip smart, with a razor wit, she read two books a week every week. She was a feminist before it was cool, always had her own job and her own money and her own car, in the 1950s when married mothers weren't supposed to do any of that. She seemed like she'd go on forever but I was realistic, I knew 2016 could be her last Presidential election, and I wanted her to see a woman President before the end. She passed away in 2019, and I miss her a great deal. She used to refer to Trump as "That shit" the final word said in a hiss of disgust. So I'm carrying her with me as I head to vote, and I'm voting for every tough, smart, witty woman who never got a shot because they were born in the wrong time, and for every little girl who's ever been told "no that's a boy job!" I've fought for 9 goddamn years to break this highest and hardest of glass ceilings and today is the fucking day.

[ficandkaboodle]

Analyses of Most Ghost Characters be like…

Terzo was a tragic and extremely deep figure who, based off observations provided by his ghouls and Bishop Necropolitis, was a brilliant mind whose ideas were bastardized and squandered, which resulted in a disappointed and bitter husk of a man who still made an effort to display kindness. However, we will likely never truly know the full story of who he was because he lied so damn often.

Most of how we perceive Secondo is arguably the result of Sister badmouthing him as well as ghouls being brutally candid about how he acted in interviews. However, there’s reason to believe Secondo might’ve been just as multifaceted as Terzo, in that he wasn’t being his complete self to the audience. There’s evidence that could suggest Secondo did not enjoy being Papa in its entirety so much as the perks, which were ironically also hindered by him being Papa at the end of the day. It’s not hard to interpret him as someone who might not have enjoyed being a part of the bloodline at the end of the day because of what it meant he had to sacrifice.

Copia is a manchild, likely as a result of how he grew up: Orphaned, likely a social outcast, very likely undiagnosed. As a result, he might’ve become convinced that the only way to rise above it was to become someone worthy of adoration: Papa. But even after he ascended, his troubles didn’t stop: He had to learn his parentage, didn’t address the fact that his brothers were now dead, and spent the last few months he had with the woman he now knew was his mother dissociating because he developed a fear of death. This fear, mind you, that easily ties back into the theorized likelihood that he placed his self-worth into his success. And this is before getting into his willingness to be a puppet —

Papa Nihil’s complexities come in the form of his tendencies to escape reality and the consequences these brought. He was very likely an absent father, which would have had effects on his sons (say, attention-seeking tendencies; a distrust in authority; abandonment issues). In fact, the only things he seems to seek from his youth is his extremely short-lived music career and his unstable relationship with a woman who ultimately kept quiet about their son(s) they conceived together and ultimately played his lust and delusions against him to play nepotism. And by leaning into this, he got his own children killed. He only “became a father” after he died, and it’s sad that he actually seems his most lucid then. What’s all the more mind-boggling and makes you wonder about his tenure is his ability to be in the moment and try and convince Cardi to learn to do the same. It makes you curious: Was Nihil actually a good Papa when he wasn’t distracted?

Sister Imperator is willfully emotionally constipated and will justify it as being “for the good of the church”. She has definitely been affected by her decisions and what she’s done, from her relationship with Nihil to her giving up her babies and watching them at a distance, only interacting from a work standpoint. She lies, keeps secrets, has people killed off, all to tie her spawn into the position as Papa, which is curious considering her position means she’s already above the station of Papa. She does care about Cardi, but she doesn’t care for him the way he needs to be and, as a result, arguably only exacerbates his anxious tendencies. She’s an extremely interesting character but it’s so easy to water her down to just being manipulative and evil.

………………

Analyses of Primo —

Primo is fucking crazy man I don’t — Like, he might be a serial killer; he would punch a panda for profit; we aren’t even entirely certain he’s human like I would legit headcanon that Primo is a changeling and the fandom would run with it because what choice do we have, he honestly actually could be!!!

[butch-reidentified]

anyone here seen the show Resident Alien?

bc holy shit am I obsessed with the portrayal of 30-something women, their solidarity, feminism, friendship, and fun and self-expression! GODDD I did not realize how BADLY I needed to see a tv show actually depict (attractive but not "bikini models" by any means) adult (and admit they're adults, real adults not 20 yr olds) women as human beings with deep complex personalities and relationships, who really stand with each other despite being flawed humans who do sometimes hurt each other, who are silly and goofy and get into shenanigans bc oh my god WOMEN CAN STILL HAVE FUN AFTER TURNING 30.

Especially later in season 1 and in season 2 (I'm still on s2), there's just so much female badassery and solidarity that I love. there's also a gym workout scene in s2 with my favorite character D'Arcy and tbhhhh that scene is 😨🥵 Like, my wife said "this scene was definitely filmed by a lesbian, right?" 💀 It really did feel like celebrating an attractive woman build muscle without the typical male gaze-y lens. it actually focused on her flexion, facial expressions, sweat, flushing, yk, the things we are supposed to pretend women don't do even while vigorously exercising.

this same woman leads her friends on a drunken midnight raid of town hall where they review the town budget and discover they're paid less than the men. cut to the entire group of women (one of whom is the mayor's wife) standing in the mayor's bedroom in the middle of the night, standing over him and informing him "no, this isn't a nightmare, what the fuck is wrong with you, pay us fairly" like?? holy shit lmao. D'Arcy then proceeds to RENT A HELICOPTER to drop fliers all over town telling women about this and encouraging female solidarity in fighting back. this barely scratches the surface of her character's feminist heroics. in another seen she cuts the brakes on her best friend's abuser's truck and sends it down a hill in front of him, before telling him she'll happily kill him if he gets near her friend again. it's just so much fun to see. she also rescues herself and 2 others from a crevasse in the glacier by climbing 30 feet in a storm with a broken wrist. oh and shes a FORMER OLYMPIC SKIER bc fuck you

I've actually been very impressed with this show in a number of ways. they have a young girl character whose family is Muslim, and the writers seem to want to critique Islam while being aware that they have to avoid performative liberals picking up on this too much. so at first I was a bit 👀 thinking they were going a certain way with the character, but they ended up sneaking in a lot of critiques of Islamic patriarchy. they keep surprising me.

[thelittleliars]

Surprise

Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader

Warnings: fighting, being drunk, mention of homophobia, mention of deceased parents, angst with a happy end

Words: 3.5k

Summary: You wanted to surprise your girlfriend but instead you were the one that got surprised.

A/N: Here it is: the Angst with a happy ending one shot as the majority of you voted for! Btw I did not proof read it so be aware.

Flying wasn't your thing; sitting for hours in a thing that is high in the air with nothing to do but to sleep, eat, watch or read something. And airplane was a capsule of boredom to you, that was why you'd never fly unless you had to. Unfortunately you had to fly for your job since it required you to fly overseas from time to time. This time you had a 15 hour flight back home, itching to not only to see your girlfriend Natasha but also to surprise her, your supposed flight was scheduled for only three days later and when you were given the go to fly back earlier you took the chance and told her nothing about it. You hadn't seen her in weeks so you were extra excited to see her again.

The uber stopped in front of your apartment complex, as you got your things out of the trunk you thanked them for the pleasant ride and wished them a good day. You were quick to arrive at your door, the apartment was one on the top floors, before unlocking it with the your key. The smile on your face vanished when you saw Natasha standing there with three people you had never met before. Your mood became a little sour as you didn't like that your surprise didn't go as you had planned. "Who are you?" You asked confused as nobody including your girlfriend made a move to introduce each other.

They stared at you with critical eyes, sizing you up and down as if you were a criminal or some other threat. The younger woman with blonde hair spoke up first. "Her family." Your heart stilled for a second thinking of meeting her family like this wasn't great but you dismissed everything quickly because you remembered that her family was dead. "No, that can't be. Her family died when she was young." You looked confused at Nat, then back at those strangers again. When nobody responded you got a bit anxious, Natasha wouldn't have lied about that right?

The man spoke up next, bringing you out of your head of spiraling thoughts. "Who are you?" But before you could answer that question happily, the other woman gave her thoughts to the situation. "She's most likely the roommate Natasha always talked about." Roommate. You whirled your head towards your red headed lover, looking baffled at her already guilty expression, pain appeared in your heart and you swore that nothing cut you as deep as the statement along with her silence and facial expression. You pursed your lips to hide how much she hurt you, it would be too embarrassing to throw a fit in front of her family. Natasha opened her mouth but before she got to speak you jumped in. "I just had a 15 hour flight and all I wanna do is take a shower and maybe a nap afterwards. I guess I see y'all later." You said to all of them before you fetched your suitcase and disappeared into the actual guest room that the two of you had for emergencies.

In the shower you sat down and let the water fall onto you. You overthought everything you thought you knew. It was obvious that it was her family, she lied about her parent dying. Why would she do that? And if she lied about that what else did she lie about? Evidently about your relationship. The roommate Natasha constantly talked about.. That statement hurt immensely. You couldn't understand why were a roommate, not even a very good friend no, just a fucking roommate. It made you angry, especially because you loved that woman deeply and it made you wonder if she actually loved you. You also deliberate about if you could ever forgive her about this betrayal.

After the long shower, your phone started ringing the second your t-shirt hit you body. It was strange for someone to call you at this hour but when you saw it was your friend Wanda you answered without a question. You couldn't get a hello out because she was talking fast. "Open your door, there's a surprise for you!" The excitement in her voice was refreshing after all the work talk you had done overseas for days. "Wands, I don't like surprises."

"I know and I'm sorry to do this to you but this one's really worth it. Please believe me and don't hang up!" You tried to put all the faith you had left in her and walked out of the guest room as held your phone against your ear. "I won't hang up don't worry." While you passed by the open kitchen-living room to get to the door, you felt the red head's and her family's intense eyes on you. You ignore them as you opened the door and there she stood, the great Wanda Maximoff with some tickets in her hands. She practically shoved them into your hands. Only then did you hang up the phone and looked at what the tickets were. Your eyes widen in shock before you threw yourself at Wanda, hugging her happily. Natasha jealously was seething so she decided to speak. "What is your ex doing here?"

You turned around smiling at her but not as bright as you had been a second before, you still waved the tickets with joy telling her what the tickets were for. "She got me tickets for a sold out Hayley Kiyoko show!!" Natasha knew how much that meant for you since you had never seen her live even though you had tickets for three concerts at one point. You hated it so much that your job always came in between the dates, making you sell your concert tickets of the singer that was your first crush and gay awakening. This whole situation gave Natasha another pang of jealousy, she should have been the one giving you the tickets, not your damn ex.

"The lesbian Jesus?" The blonde woman whose name you still don't know asked. You nodded and saw her face breaking into a proud expression. "Since when do you know that?" Natasha asked her sister in almost an insulting tone. "Kate Bishop, where else?" After Nat narrowed her eyes the blonde explained further with a shrug. "She told me that I need to widen my horizon in pop culture." At that you turned your attention back to Wanda, minding your own business while picking up your conversation again. "I- I'm.. thank you for the tickets Wands. I truly don't know how to thank you." She smiled at your overwhelmed but giddy state. "You could take me with you?" She joked as she also pointed to the tickets. You agreed to her idea incredibly fast, maybe a bit too fast considering that you had a girlfriend you usually asked and took with you to concerts. But in that split of a moment you didn't give a shit about asking her to go with you, going with your ex sounded way better. "It - it's tomorrow already. Wait, hold on. How'd you even know that I'd be back by then?"

"Oh yeah about that.. I might have talked with Josh." She smiled sheepishly. Josh was a mutual friend but also your co-worker. But you'd never have thought that Josh would talk about your (early) return. Especially since you told him you wanted to surprise everyone. "Are you lovebirds actually coming in or stay in the doorway all night?" Alexei teased you both, you didn't how how to feel about that. You were still together with his daughter and him teasing or shipping you with your ex was beyond something you thought you'd experience. The frown on Natasha face was something you didn't miss and you actually had to bite your tongue before saying something you'd regret. To your luck, because you knew biting your tongue wouldn't help for long, your lover pipped in. "They are ex-girlfriends and not lovebirds." She stated hard. Her father continued to reason with his daughter. "Doesn't have to mean anything Tasha bear. How often did your mother and I break up and got back together hmm?"

You ignored their conversation once again, turning to the red head that stood still in the doorway you told her to wait for you. "Let me switch pants and then we go get a drink somewhere yeah? That way we can catch up and they can continue having family time uninterrupted." Natasha wanted to interject, deny you going out with Wanda when she desperately wanted to explain herself but she feared that stopping you would dig her grave with you only deeper so she let you go. When you were about to leave, Yelena and Alexei teased you both a last time. You felt a bit bad for Natasha but it all were also a part of consequences of her actions. "Don't come home too late." Was the only thing she told you. You still heard Yelena's such a mom and Alexei's don't be a cockblocker Natasha through the door.

-----------------------------

You were passed out in Wanda's arms as she carried you bridal style towards your apartment. It wasn't planned that you drank this much alcohol, but once you got a taste of it you just couldn't stop, it numbed your feelings and problems that you badly wanted to forget. Natasha was at the door quick, relieved when she saw you in Wanda's arms, she lead you both towards your bedroom watching how your ex put you on the bed gently.

"Thank you for bringing her home." She commented. The other woman only nodded before leaving fairly quickly, not wanting to be there in case you woke up which she knew was unlikely but didn't want it risk it anyways. Hungover you was something she did not want to witness ever again.

The next morning was rather midday by the time you woke up. You walked into the bathroom first, quickly peeing and splashing some water on your face before wandering to the kitchen, there you saw Natasha sitting at her kitchen counter with a coffee in one hand and her phone in the other hand. "Morning." You hummed grumpily, acknowledging her without actually talking to her. She huffed before she tried to talk to you again. "Y/N I-" Natasha started but you cut her off immediately. "I don't wanna talk."

"But I really-" Her next attempt to talk got quickly cut off by you again. "I SAID I DONT WANT TO TALK NATASHA!" You didn't yell, you simply rose your voice a bit to get your point across. She shut up afterwards. "Gosh just give me space before you ruin my day. I still have a concert to attend to." Your words and the situation cut her deep, it hurt to know this side of you - that she was the reason for bringing this out of you and inflicting (you) pain. She never wanted any of this.

-----------------------------

After the incredible amazing concert you dragged Wanda into a bar to get some well deserved fries and drinks. It didn't last long until you spilled your relationship problems and some evil thoughts you had in your head. The cruelest one was to text Nat asking her if she'd give you permission to kiss another girl during Hayley's performance of Girls Like Girls. You'd never cheat but the itch to get back at her in some way for betraying you was big.

"I know you want to hurt Natasha back a bit because of what she did but is it really worth it? Wouldn't that just truly ruin your relationship?" Wanda was concerned about your state of mind and what you might would do. She knew how rash you were in doing something when you got hurt by someone close to you. "It's hardly a relationship if it's build on lies." You stated without any emotion in your voice and expression. This only showed her that her worries were valid. "Maybe she had a good reason for it." The red head tried so hard to see the positive but of course with your mood, nothing was getting to you.

"I can't think of a single good reason of why she'd lie about her parents passing. I also came up short when I thought of a reason of her hiding our relationship. Like I'd have understood if it were the same situation as it was in our relationship, when you were a baby gay with parents who oftentimes said homophobic remarks and you being afraid to come out. But her father and sister teased us lovebirds and it seemed very genuine, they weren't homophobic." At the mention of Wanda's past, she felt the need to voice her thoughts. "I still feel like they stopped with the remarks after catching Pietro watching gay porn." You gave her a tiny sad smile. "Well either way, at least you had the decency to tell your family that we were not only very good but also very close friends. I'm just a roommate to them."

"I'm sorry." She said it genuine, without any pity or whatsoever. You nodded but also sighed at her apology. "Not your fault Wanda. Don't apologize for something that's out of reach." It was quiet between the two of you for a long moment, eating and drinking to make it less awkward before you asked her if you could crash at her place. "Of course, you're always welcome." Later, right before you went to sleep, you texted your girlfriend that you'd stay at Wanda's for the night.

-----------------------------------

When you got home the next day, Natasha was nowhere to be found, it gave you enough time to ponder if you should simply break up with her and get all your things with you, it would have been a coward move on your part and you were already cowardly enough by staging away from her the night before. You quickly changed into a new set of clothes the grabbing your headphones and went into the kitchen, getting out ingredients from the cabinets to bake something, you still needed to distract yourself before facing Natasha.

The second she entered the apartment and heard movements she knew were only yours, she stopped dead in her tracks as she wasn't expecting you to the apartment yet. She thought that you were staying at Wanda's for a while longer but since you weren't she took the chance to finally talk to you and explain herself. You were startled by the tap on your shoulder, you hadn't heard her come back with the headphones on yours ears blasting angry rock-metal music. Pausing the music and taking the headphones from your ears, you turned around to face Natasha, she had messy hair with dark circles and bags underneath her eyes. It told you that she had a sleepless night.

"I don't want to talk." You told her simply because it irritated you that she disrupted your baking time. She groaned in frustration. "But I need to talk. Y/N I want to fix my mistakes, I want to fix us." She was desperate, you heard it in her voice, but that still didn't change your mind. "Maybe the magnitude of your mistakes are too big to fix." The words you said left her stunned. With the little courage she had left she asked you the important question. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"Not yet." It came out weak, nearly matching the weak tone of the question Natasha asked second before. A bit of relieve flooded her system but she was still tense m, fearing your answer to her next question. "What's holding you back?" You weren't sure if you wanted to let her know your reasons but you ended up opening anyways. "My gut and my trust in you."

The silence that followed was nearly deafening, the redheaded woman simply was at loss of words because it felt wrong for you to still have trust in her. "I haven't shattered your trust yet?"

"Hard to believe right? Despite all your lies I still trust you.. even if it's on a thin thread." There was another couple of minutes of silence before she finally could apologize without you cutting her off. "Then let me apologize because I really have to apologize for how the other day went down. I'm sorry for lying about my parents and that I lied to them about our relationship. I didn't mean to hurt you but I did and now I have to own it up." She started before moving to sit down on a chair. "It's true that my parents died at a young age. Who you saw was my foster family, we didn't always get along which resulted in me distancing myself from them for a decade. It wasn't until we were a year deep into a relationship that we started to have contact again."

"But why lie to them about us? Your father and sister seemed pretty open about homosexuals." You asked, still confused about certain things that needed to be cleared up.

"My plan was to ease them in telling how I'm not only queer but more so a lesbian. Last time I really knew them they were homophobic so I was surprised by their remarks. I hadn't met them in person for so long, I guess they changed a lot during that time." You took your hands in hers. It was a small gesture of you supporting her in quietness. "I'm sorry detka. I should have told you a long time ago about my foster family. And also that I told them you were my roommate."

"I just don't get it. Why tell them we're roommates and not friends?" It was the question that plagued your mind. She bit her lips then shaking her head and looking everywhere but at you. "It wouldn't have been believable. I always ruined all my friendships." You squeezed her hands in hope she'd look at you again and she did even if it was only for a few seconds. "Is there anything else you lied about?"

Her eyes rose to yours, this time you could see her bare soul laying out for you. She removed her hands from yours before answered honest. "Uhh.. my job?" It was barely a second that passed by before you shrieked out her full name. "Natalia Alianovna Romanova!" She squeezed her eyes shut as her name fell from your lips like you called her satan, then she fumbled with her hands until they found yours again. With an honest look in her eyes she apologizes again. "Y/N I'm really sorry okay."

"Sorry doesn't make it better! Natasha you do realize how fucked up this is right? Especially because we talk about work at dinner every other day. Gosh." You felt sick to your stomach when you thought back at the countless of conversations you had. "If-if you're not a secretary then what exactly do you do?"

"I'm actually a SHIELD agent." She leaned closer to you when she noticed your lack of response. When you did reply it made Natasha even more nervous, anxious even, she feared that you decide to break up with her right then and there. "A SHIELD agent?" You repeated calmly, a bit too calm for your girlfriend's liking, a calm person is always one to fear during a fight, they most likely are already done with everything. "A SHIELD agent." Natasha confirmed.

"Were you going to tell me?"

"At some point." You nodded then removed your hands from hers all while you were telling her you needed to go back to baking, you turned around finished your cupcakes. Natasha stood there awkwardly, not knowing what else to tell you or where to go. When the first batch of cupcakes were done you held one in between your fingers, you walked straight up to the redhead with no expression on your face, her heart pounded so wildly that it felt like she was going to die. "As much as I hate you right now, I'm still completely and utterly in love with you." You offered her the cupcake that she gladly accepted with a small smile. "I might be an idiot for even attempting to forgive you but I can honestly see us having a great and long future together."

"I want that. The long and great future with you, I mean." She looked down and smiled shyly

"Good. But it can only happen if you won't lie to me anymore Nat. I'd rather be hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie."

"Okay."

"Okay?" She nodded. "Good. Now come here and give me a kiss."

"Can I eat my cupcake first?" She asked with a twinkle in her eyes. You shook your heard, told her 'no' before you grabbed her head and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

[arceus-insanity]

So When Did Things Start Going Down Hill

I don't mean everything is shit after this, but things looking back started getting (steadily) worse starting with. Check bottom for more indept view on each option

A) at first I wasn't going to include this one as it happened before most of what I considered shit started happening, but with how much it blatantly favours this lazy-ass child abuser, how could I not include it. And of course, it shows so much evidence that he hasn't changed at all, like only even offering to teach Midoriya and Bakugo to manipulate his favourite victim Shoto

B) when it first happened I was devastated but expected this to lead to greater change to the hero system and society. But no, just a meaningless footnote to the heroes epic battle

C) literally no one questions how a top hero was just so eager to kill someone, or buy a wife, breed her, abuse & neglect his kids to the point one of them was believed dead. Only citizens whining about how Dabi is bad for them

D) here's this apparently big shot hero from the States we've never heard of before and immediately dies. If they wanted to keep Shigaraki from having too many powers they could of just chalked it up to the heroes interupting the process

E) the Todoroki family all blames themselves, this isn't to go into the complexity of abusive households, but to absolve Endeavor's responsibility and guilt. Despite the fact that as the one who created and was in control of this situation, he should be held accountable for theirs as well. The only backlash for his shit is framed as ohh poor Endeavor, he didn't mean for the child he threw away to create consequences, and now people are being mean to them

F) what was the point of this arc? Deku barely asks a villain three questions before giving up. He learns the HPSC had Lady Nagant acting as a secret assassin against any undesireables for them, covered up her arrest and got a replacement assassin (Hawks who has at least one confirmed extra jurdical murder under his belt). Witnesses an innocent woman get attacked for her appearance and was turned away from multiple shelters for said appearance. Deku: Hero Society is the Best, Nothing needs to change, because not every single apple in this basket is rotten to the core! Looking back he just looks worse for this

G) so this child, who due to his parents mistake was blackmailed under great threat & risk, into giving information to the blackmailer, deserves to be chained up and forced to take further risk by the heroes. Remember Endeavor never faces any consequences, nor does Hawks, but this child, Yuga, gets treated like this.

H) once again what was the point? How does Edgeshot know he can do this? How does he know how to do this? Why is he a top hero who has never interacted with Bakugo before this, sacrifices his appearing to be unharmed self, for a random hero student in the middle of a war? Oh and Edgeshot is revealed to be alive at the end of the manga, because Heroes have no consequences and live in magical fairytail land. Again what was the fucking point!

I) This was originally going to be two points, Oh poor Endeavor, victim blaming part 2 and the hospital battle. But I ran out of options and Endeavor doesn't need another personal option. So we got the whole Todofam blaming Dabi/Touya this time, and Endeavor being a whiney responsibility dodging coward again. Then we see the heroes knew that the villains were going to go after Kurogiri, kept him in a hospital. We see that the people aren't going after doctors or patients just trying to get to Kurogiri, get demonized for it. We have victim blamer/ pick-me Tentacole say that their kids will be attacked for this (already happening), and that it's up to them/ him to inspire the violent quirkests to not constantly attack, assualt, and otherwise discriminate against them, no need for the quirkists to be given any responsibility or consequences for their own actions. Oh and Spinner has major brain damage because how else was Tentacole supposed to win this arguement. Bonus points for Hawks calling for Toga to be murdered, doubling right back down on his previous murder

J) in this already overcrowded 3rd act lets make sure all these background characters get a scene! And despite the fact it took years for Deku to get a powersuit in the epilogue, All Might just randomly gets one, no build up or anything. AFO's backstory is left in the past so no one has to consider anything

K) I had hope going into this, but at every turn they kept on making it worse. Deku only tries punching and attacking, rather than make any attempts to actually talk unlike what Shigaraki has been doing since his introduction. Is randomly able to enter Shigaraki's head, doesn't have to see just how fucked Hero Society is as it gets cut short by moral scapegoat AFO coming in and revealing he orcastrated everything! Oh and he flat out kills Shigaraki. Living up to his name and not his goal. Deku that could my ass

Sorry if this comes off as super negative but I've been wondering this for a while, and well I'm pissed at the ending. Here's some people I want to hear the opinions of:

@moodyvoid @nagitosstolenhand @codenamesazanka @shortstrawberryshake @darkonekrisrewrite @nothingofinterest @itsnothingofinterest @villainsandvictimsalliance

Feel free to @ more people

[reality-detective]

It’s time for me to have another rant! 👇

Buckle up!!! ⚔️🛡️

The State of America:

I am angry. As an American, I am sick and tired of what this country has become. I do probably curse more than I should, but I am pissed off.

Our schools: Children are being indoctrinated by school teachers about sexual activity rather than things they should be learning about. You know, like civics, math, real history and science? What grown ass adult wants to discuss sexual intercourse with a minor? I’ll tell you, a social deviant fucking pervert. That’s who. I will not expose any child to that madness ever.

Our military: Our military is the weakest it has ever been. I have friends that are still in the military and they cannot wait to get out. Not because of their lack of service to this country, but the lack of leadership. The good ones are tired of getting slammed with “woke” PowerPoints on shit that doesn’t even matter to military readiness. It’s dumb. And our adversaries are laughing at us. I can’t even recommend someone to join the military until it is returned to its rightful place as the strongest military in the world.

Our southern border: The southern border is a dumpster fire. More illegal aliens and fentanyl are pouring through the border at record rates. The saddest part about this is the Democrats are wanting ILLEGALS to vote for any and all elections. Democrats only use their party for votes to continue their reign of power, while their own districts are literal shit-holes. Republicans are not safe from this and they really aren't much better. If they wanted the border shut down they would too. Always remember that Americans being murdered was never enough to shut the border down.

Joe Biden: I will never accept the thought that Joe Biden got 81 million votes. You cannot make me believe that the alleged President of the United States of America got the most votes in American history, then was kicked out from running by his own party. Give me a fucking break.

Kamala Harris: This Indian American woman locked up more black men than I have ever seen in my life. She doesn’t care about black people. Never has and never will. She just wants your vote.

Mainstream Media: These retards have been fed so much propaganda that they actually think Donald Trump will incite a civil war if he doesn’t win the 2024 election. You all have an extra chromosome if you truly believe that. There are some that are just gaslighting but a large portion of the population is too stupid to vote if they can’t decipher this.

Speaking of Donald Trump: This man has been given more bullshit to a public servant that I have ever seen in my life. For crying out loud, it has been over 2 weeks since the Deep State almost took his life and no one has been held truly accountable. They are all behind it until proven otherwise. Imagine if that was the other way around. Democrats would want to put the nation on lockdown like they did during COVID.

National debt: As of today the United States is at $35,000,000,000,000.00 in debt. How irresponsible of adults. I will never be gaslit to send money overseas anymore especially since Americans are struggling to put food on their table. How outrageously treasonous.

And to top all of this off. I am a white male that was in the military and now I'm considered a domestic terrorist by some. How unbelievable is this? The same ones that are backing the Military Industrial Complex. The same “elected leaders” that I served, don’t have our backs when we return home. The military are the ones that uphold and defend the Constitution, not them.

This is not what America should be about. This is not the country I served. Not anymore.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! 🤔

God Bless America. 🇺🇸

[whenmemorydies]

See this?

Carmy is about to pull this shit. He is really about to go in and likely blow up one of the only good relationships he has left from The Beef. After yelling at Tina from the pass. After stressing out everyone and their fucking dog cos he thinks this is acceptable behaviour if its all in service of a star?

This part of 3x03 Doors was such a jagged scene for me because of a few things (including what I've said above). What else got me:

Tina is someone Carmy knows, that Carmy loves (go back to their scene in 1x08 Braciole talking about Mikey. Go back to Carmy's soft "hey Tina you go ahead, you take the night off okay? I got you.");

Tina is an older woman of colour who has made the commitment to skill up so that she can work at The Bear after working at The Beef. Carmy has seen the work she has put in but in this moment, he pays none of it any mind. Imagine being T. Imagine how that would feel. Imagine how it would feel knowing all we know after watching Tina's journey in 3x06 Napkins. The thing is, Carmy doesn't need to know all of T's backstory to know his behaviour is unacceptable. The fact that he knows some of it and proceeds to act in this way is just more evidence of his white privilege showing its ass.

Carmy does not have the self reflexivity here to look at his young, white, male self yelling at this older WOC and see how fucked this is: how he's become another white guy in a litany of white men barking at workers of colour, not seeing Tina for the whole human she is but reducing her to a means of production. The racial dynamics on this show are so evident but don't get talked about nearly enough. I know the writers have crafted those dynamics on purpose because as beautiful a character as Carmy is, he's also a product of his environment as a white chef trained in a highly racially segregated field. This has repercussions for his relationships in season 3, particularly with the BIPOC characters in his life. @november-rising speaks about Carmy's behaviour in relation to Black women's experiences of love and professional recognition devastatingly here. Read their post and the reblogs.

While this shit made me so mad this season, it was also in character - as I've said here - for a white guy trained in fine dining to revert to established patterns of behaviour. Though, I'm gonna need the writers of the show to show US that they did this on purpose and have Carmy ATONE for this shit in season 4. Otherwise, what kind of redemption arc will this man have? This shit is hurtful to the BIPOC characters and BIPOC viewers of this show in no small part because white men the world over have a LONG history of using BIPOC people as a means of production and as a means of production alone. If you're unsure about this, please go look up the Transatlantic slave trade. Please go look up the history of colonial indentured labour. Please go look up The British East India Company. Please look up the forced labour regime in the modern prison industrial complex. Please go read a fucking book. And no I'm not saying Carmy is responsible for the slave trade (LMAO please hold fire if this is where your mind is going). I'm saying BIPOC folks carry with us a long ass history, an intergenerational history of this shit. But guess who else does too? White folks. So don't act like they dont.

This shit is also hurtful because we know how respectful Carmy can be. We’ve seen him in seasons 1 & 2. We know he knows what being a practical ally looks like (even if he may not have the language to name what he was doing) when he made sure to bring the staff of The Beef with him to The Bear and invested in them accordingly. We know he loves and respects them, none more so than Sydney. But there were so many times where he did not act like it in season 3. And when folks have got histories - not just personal but cultural too - as long and as loaded as we ALL do, actions account for a lot. What you do is the shorthand for who you are in the world, whether you like it or not.

Ok back to the scene.

Who comes in and simultaneously saves Carmy's ass and ANOTHER of his relationships? Who protects Tina and keeps the kitchen from exploding AGAIN?

Who supervises her sous chef like a fucking pro?

Sydney. Sydney. Sydney.

And who knows that he's in the presence of greatness but doesn't know how to articulate it cos he's not integrated, not by a fucking long shot. Who needs to attend some anti-racism training along with Al-Anon and therapy (so he can get the benefit of understanding his role in this system and get a better understanding of his own mind)?

Yeah you Carmen, you.

Better get on that shit before you lose the woman who is the beat to your whole heart another means of production to a chef who's going to pay her better, give Syd insurance from the jump and total creative control. Just saying.

[jazzyoranges]

Splitting Headache

Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: Tara is there when you have a shitty day at work

Words: 1.0k

A/n: i didn’t spell check or anything so sorry if there’s mistakes 😇 also kinda inspired by a reddit story i saw on tiktok

Warnings(?): fluff, annoying customers

You’ve had a long fucking day at work. Your day was already bad when you woke up. There was a throbbing pain right in the middle for your forehead, but alas, the world doesn’t stop spinning for a dumb headache. Unfortunately, your headache only worsened when you somehow slipped on a chew toy in the kitchen of your apartment

But the world doesn’t stop spinning for a dumb headache or a bruise on your ass. You worked as a barista at a pretty busy coffee shop. There was always a constant stream of people ordering pastries, drinks, and sandwiches. At least you got paid a little more than average, right?

Luckily the car ride to the shop wasn’t too bad. Until you almost crashed into some dumbass driver that doesn’t know how to drive. A plethora of curses escaped your lips as you angrily beeped at the guy that almost made a dent in your car — your precious baby

But the world doesn’t stop spinning for a dumb headache, a bruise on your ass, or idiot drivers. You’re only a few minutes late so you quickly put on your apron and start making some drinks. The thing you hate most about your job isn’t the customers, but the overly complex and sugary coffees. Like, who the fuck is ordering a liquified birthday cake coffee at eight in the morning? The loud machine’s definitely didn’t make your headache better

But the world doesn’t stop spinning for a dumb headache, a bruise on your ass, idiot drivers, or loud noises. Thankfully your job was pretty simple. Well, to you it was a pain in the ass, but an easy pain in the ass. Take the order, make the drink, spell the name wrong, and serve. Sounds pretty easy, but there just so happens to be a certain time where the worst customers come in. Nine in the morning. At nine in the morning, all of the angry moms and the mean business men come in to have their morning coffee

And every single morning you have to deal with them

Every.

Single.

Morning.

Today was absolutely no different

“I asked for two pumps of vanilla! You only put one!”

“No, that gift card isn’t used up!”

“I get to cut the line. I’m more important than anyone else here!”

But the world doesn’t stop spinning for a dumb headache, a bruise on your ass, idiot drivers, loud noises, or annoying customers. Really, the only thing that was getting you through this day was your girlfriend. Your amazing, beautiful, wonderful, kind, beau-

“This is disgusting! You must be new, this is not the matcha coffee I ordered!” A woman snaps you out of your thoughts and you have to put on your customer-service voice

“Actually, i’ve been working here for about six months. What seems to be the issue?”

“Are you trying to smart-mouth me, young lady?”

“Not at all, ma’am.”

“Yeah the hell you are!” The lady was practically screaming at you, and you saw some phones recording your situation. At least you’d have proof of verbal harassment if you decided to punch her

“Please, ma’am, I’ll make it for you again.”

“No way! You’ve ruined my morning!” And with that, the woman splashes her drink in your face before you can react. Your manager catches wind of the situation, but he gets there too late. You’re already dripping green when he arrives. You storm off into the break room with a scowl on your face

But the world doesn’t stop spinning for a dumb headache, a bruise on your ass, idiot drivers, loud noises, annoying customers, or women that throw matcha coffee in your face. Thankfully your manager is nice and kind enough to know the customer isn’t always right. He offers you the day off, and you happily accept. You wash up before leaving and earn a few “I’m sorry she did that”’s and “She was in the wrong”’s, which makes you feel a little better knowing the other customers were on your side

The entire situation just made your head throb even harder

Originally you were going to go back home to take a nap, but you decide to visit the only reason you kept going today. You’re amazing, beautiful, wonderful, kind, girlfriend Tara. All you wanted to do was spend the rest of the day in her arms and kiss until your lips were swollen. Every sapphic woman’s dream, really

You pull into the garage of Tara’s apartment complex, and practically sprint to her room. One minute flat, a new record. Softly knocking on the door as to not scare her, you patiently waited to hear her footsteps check the peephole

“Baby?” Your girlfriend says behind the door before opening it. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

You choose to not elaborate, and pull her into a shoulder crushing hug

“What’s with the affection? Tell me what’s wrong, love”

“Bad day. Cuddle?” You mumble into her shoulder, and she laughs while shutting the door

“Of course.” Tara pulls your face to hers, giving you a deep kiss before taking you to her room. You can’t your giddy smile and it makes the younger Carpenter happy

There are random shirts and shorts from all the times you’ve spent over, and you quickly change before jumping into Tara’s arms. Burying your head into your girlfriend’s chest, you sigh at her smell. She’s exactly what home smells like to you

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong, baby?”

“Tired.” You mumble

“It’s only two in the afternoon my love”

“Just want you...” You mumble again in one breath, making Tara laugh

She had to be magic. Your worries washed away, and simply being with her made you feel better. Tara ran her hands through your hair, massaging your head. Simultaneously, your headache was nearly gone. Shitty days, mediocre days, good days, you knew your girlfriend would be there to pick you up. Maybe you wouldn’t mind if the world stopped spinning for Tara Carpenter

—

Bonus:

“Baby, why do you smell like matcha?”

“Long story.”

[axolotlelle]

every time i think about venat i cry a little such a good complex character i love that the big revelation is that she was just a person trying to do the right thing, that she didn't know better than us or anyone, she just made a choice to entrust the future to us. imagine meeting your god and she's just a woman who really did love you but made some fucked up decisions along the way

[nichuuu]

Beats Me - 5: Tamed

(Ryujin & Yeji)

Being Yeji’s neighbour was more of a nightmare than you’d imagined.

Yes. The prospect of her threats of coming to your house and killing you becoming reality scared you shitless. You knew she meant every word she said. You did what you could to avoid her in your apartment complex, taking the stairs, making sure to leave the house slightly earlier so that you didn’t see her at the lift landing… But no matter what you did, avoiding her was one hell of a sisyphean task. She was just about everywhere. You bumped into her in the lobby, saw her in the nearby convenience store, crossed her at the laundry room… 

It was like she was teleporting to your location each time you left your flat. It didn’t help that the two of you were perpetually on the same bus to campus each morning. She never really said much to you, opting to shoot you with her signature glare that never failed to scare you out of your skin. You wished you could just shrink away from her gaze sometimes, cower from those sharp feline-like eyes that bore into your soul each time you looked into them. She was terrifying to say the least. 

“Sounds like a shitshow for you,” Ryujin mused, staring nonchalantly at the fry in her hand. You set down your drink. 

“Calling it a shitshow would be an understatement,” you corrected. “It’s more of a… Fuck, I don’t know what it is.”

Ryujin chuckled and dipped her fry into her ketchup. “So tragic for you yet so entertaining for us…”

She popped the soggy fry into her mouth and leaned back in her seat. The beeping coming from the Mcdonalds kitchen was starting to irk you more than it should’ve in the given moment. Next to Ryujin, Kwon Eunbi sighed and took a sip of her drink. 

“You ought to try and get friendly with her,” she advised. “If you don’t, it’s gonna be plain awkward. I for one don’t like the idea of being glared at on a daily basis…”

“How the hell do I even approach that woman?” You asked exasperatedly, “What do I say? Oh hey Yeji, I know you hate my guts and all but can we be chill?”

Putting her legs up on the table, Ryujin replied. “I think you could try that.”

“She would cut me in half just by looking at me,” you promptly shot back. Ryujin shrugged. 

“You never know… Might be worth a shot.”

Eunbi sighed and folded her arms. “Sorry Myeong-seok… You’re kinda on your own for this.”

Your lips formed a thin line as you buried your face in your hands. “I know… It makes this whole thing suck a little more than it has to.”

Karina cleared her throat next to you. “You could uh… You know… Try saying hi to her when you see her around?” 

“That sounds like suicide,” you told your pianist truthfully. 

“Being a decent human being doesn’t mean you’re insane,” Karina told you.

“But this is Yeji we’re talking about here,” you reminded her, “I barely even open my mouth around her and she already wants to murder me! What will happen if I say hello?”

Jimin clicked her tongue and drew in a breath. She must’ve remembered that Yeji had an unexplained vendetta against you. You felt like it was due to the fact that you showed up late on your first day. Then again… Who stays mad at someone for that long? You didn’t know Yeji well enough to know if she was the type to hold grudges against people. 

“I’ll try and talk to her one of these days,” Ryujin piped, “maybe I can find a way to get her to be less of a bitch around you, but you’ll eventually have to get around to talking to her you know?” 

“ Yea… I do,” you told her. Trying to talk to Yeji wasn’t exactly on your bucket list, but you knew that you’d eventually have to try and sort things out with her if the band chemistry was to improve. 

Eunbi’s phone started to ring. She picked it up off the table.

“I gotta take this. If you guys have to leave, go ahead,” she told you guys. She stood up and hurriedly walked out of the Mcdonalds. You took a look at your watch and noted that it was getting pretty late.

“I think I’m gonna make a move,” you told your band members, “see you guys.”

They all waved to you as you gathered your things. You waved goodbye to Eunbi on the way out, but she was too absorbed in her phone call to see you. You decided not to disturb her and set off to the nearest bus stop. A couple minutes of waiting and a rather unpleasant ride home later, you found yourself walking down the usual path you took to get home. As you set down the footpath, thunder rumbled off in the distance. You quickened your pace, hoping to get home before the sky opened up above you. 

The gate to the lobby was in sight, the faint warm glow from the lights within the apartment complex illuminating the small space before the door like a fireplace would on a cold winter night. The light was always rather comforting to you, it symbolised security and respite from a long day. 

“Hehe… Eat up little fella…”

Though you were just metres away from the door, the voice that travelled from your left made you halt in your tracks. There was a soft meow, followed by an even softer giggle. 

“There you go… You better lick this bowl clean.”

You refused to believe your ears. But when you turned to the source of the voice, your eyes only served to prove what your ears had made you conclude. 

The voice you heard was indeed Hwang Yeji’s. It sounded foreign at first, but then you realised it was because it had taken on a softer, warmer tone. Your guitarist was squatting before a metal bowl, a rare trace of a smile on her face as she watched a cat eat cat food out of the metal bowl before her. She giggled again, a little louder this time. 

“You look terribly skinny,” she muttered,  tilting her head as she examined the cat closely.  “You don’t have a collar… You must be a stray then…” 

She gingerly stretched out a hand towards the cat. It had dark brown fur, patches of white spotting its body. Her fingers gently rested themselves atop the cat’s head, her knuckles curling and uncurling as she softly scratched the top of its head. You could only stare in shock and awe as you took in this gentler side of Yeji. You’d never thought it’d be possible for her to display affection towards anything or anyone. 

You must’ve stood there longer than you should’ve, for Yeji sensed someone’s gaze on her and whipped her head towards you. Her eyes locked with yours. For a moment, you swore you saw shock behind her eyes, then curiosity… And then they reverted back to their usual coldness. 

“Fuck are you looking at Squeaker?” she spat. 

You snapped out of your trance. “O-Oh… I-I was just… Walking home…”

“Then keep walking home. Don’t bother me,” she replied, fixing you with her usual piercing glare. She turned back to the cat, clicking her tongue in annoyance as she continued to watch it eat. You took that as your cue to leave her with her feline friend and continued to walk back towards the gate of your apartment complex. 

“Myeong-seok!”

You turned back to see Hwang Yeju waving frantically as she ran towards you. In her arm, she cradled a loaf of bread and a six pack of beer. You could also make out a tray of eggs and a pack of sausages. The items looked like they were bound to fall at any second.

“M-Ms Hwang! Be careful!” You cautioned her, brisk walking towards Yeji’s sister. To your amazement, she was able to keep all the items within the cradle of her arm and stopped right before you. 

“Hello!” She greeted you bubbly, “did you just come back from school?”

“Y-Yea…” you answered. You pointed to the groceries in her hands. “Do you need me to take some of those?”

You didn’t expect her to thrust all of her groceries into your arms. 

“Thanks! You’re really sweet!” Yeju beamed, “by the way, thanks for lending us salt yesterday. I think the cooking would’ve been a disaster without it!” 

You didn’t know how this woman had this much energy this late in the night. Your best guess was that it was simply just her personality. Furthermore, this was her third time thanking you for letting her borrow salt. It weirded you out a little, but you figured that it was simply her nature. 

“N-No problem Ms Hwang,” you assured her. 

“We’ve been through this. Just call me Yeju!” she reminded you.

“R-Right… S-Sorry Yeju…”

The older girl smiled, radiating a glow brighter than the street lights. Yeji emerged from the alley. 

“Unnie, let’s go,” she said.

“Aww come on Yeji, at least talk to your neighbour for a bit!” Yeju argued. Yeji fixed her elder sister with a glare. 

“I would rather shove a burning hot pan up my ass,” she grunted, “let’s just go.”

Yeji walked past you. She tapped her card against the reader in the gate. “I’m not waiting for you!”

“Come back here Yeji!” Yeju called. Unfortunately, Yeji had already disappeared into the lobby. With a heavy sigh, Hwang Yeju dug for her keys in her pocket. 

“She’s a lot more cranky these days… Can’t put my finger on it,” she muttered, “sorry for my sister’s behaviour… She’s a little… You know…”

You waved it off. 

“I understand,” you assured the older girl. She seemed relieved.

“Great. Let’s go inside before it starts pouring.”

The two of you entered the lobby. She asked you about your day, how things were going—The usual friendly neighbour stuff. You rode the lift together with Yeji’s older sister, carrying her groceries all the way to her apartment door where she finally took them back from you. With a friendly wave and a chirpy goodbye!, she entered her apartment and left you out in the hallway. You slotted your hands into the pockets of your jeans. “What an interesting woman…”

You headed back to your own apartment just down the hall. 

For the rest of the week, you didn’t see much of Yeju, but the frequency at which you bumped into Yeji seemed to increase. The campus cafeteria—once a haven where you were certain that you would not see Yeji—had become a meeting ground for the two of you. You’d bump into her as she was getting food or travelling to her next classroom, even spotting her from the corner of your eye while you ate your lunch. She was icy as always, her signature look of disdain glued onto her face with super glue, silently berating you as you scuttled by. 

And then there was the cat. It appeared that Yeji would always come down at night to feed the stray in the alley near the complex, whispering to it in a hushed, tender tone. She’d be in the same spot, same position—Squatted just a few metres away from the alley entrance. You made the mistake of stopping and staring the first few times, but soon learnt to keep walking on without looking at her. 

That night as the rain lashed your umbrella and the wind howled incessantly, you walked down the familiar stretch of pavement. Band practice had ended and you’d turned down Eunbi’s offer for dinner to catch up on some work. The concrete was slick with rain water, the warm glow of streetlights reflected in the stream of water that flowed down the pavement. It was chilly. Not winter chilly, but  the type of cold that was unpleasant enough to make you want to huddle up at home with a nice hot drink—That type of chilly. The rain was merciless, fat droplets pelting your face as a gust of wind blew what felt like an ocean’s worth of water towards you. In hindsight, you realised that you may have been better off going to dinner with your singer. That way, you could at least wait out the rain before heading home. 

You walked by the convenience store. The lobby was just a few metres away now. 

“Here… This should keep you warm.” 

Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t have stopped to look at Yeji. But under the assault of the storm, you couldn’t help but stop and turn to see if that truly was her talking to her feline friend in this weather. 

Sure enough, she was there. In a black raincoat with her hood up, you could make out the smiling features of Hwang Yeji as she slid something into a cardboard box. The box was beneath what looked like a small makeshift shelter, made from sticks and a plastic bag. It kept the rain from attacking the cardboard beneath it, sheltering its occupant from the storm. Yeji reached in and adjusted something, her mouth moving as she whispered something to the cat. You knew that it was in your best interest to set off by now, but you found yourself walking towards your guitarist. 

“There… That should do it,” she said. She’d wrapped a blanket around the cat, swaddling the shivering animal in warmth. Yeji folded the flaps of the box—by just a little—shielding her companion from the rain while giving it ample air to breathe. You stopped behind her, holding your umbrella out slightly such that it shielded the both of you from the rain. You knew that she could sense your presence from the way her shoulders tensed. 

“What did I say about bothering me?” she asked. 

“W-Well… You’d catch a cold if I just left you alone…” 

She turned to look at you. You could only see one of her eyes under the hood of her raincoat. 

Yeji pitched the wet raincoat. “Don’t you see I have this on?”

“I-I know. But the rain’s p-pretty heavy… You could catch a cold from this.”

Yeji clicked her tongue in annoyance.  “What do you take me for? Some girl who’s weak and helpless?”

“N-No! I-I just…” 

“Then why the fuck bother with me? Do you want something out of me?” Yeji retorted, rising from her position to look you in the eye.

The air that already felt dense because of the rain somehow grew denser. Yeji fixed you with one of her usual nasty glares. You felt something bubbling inside you—A balloon of frustration slowly growing and expanding, increasing in volume as it slowly rose up from your core to your throat. The fact that she’d taken your act of kindness for an act driven by the desire to achieve something didn’t sit well with you.

“I… I just wanted to help,” you told her sincerely.

“I don’t need your help. Go away.”

The balloon burst. 

“I don’t get it Yeji,” you began, unable to withhold the frustration from flooding your voice, “from day one, you’ve been at my throat, hounding and threatening me with snarky remarks. I don’t know if you only act this way towards me, but it’s seriously putting me off. I don’t know what I did to piss you off so much, nor do I understand how I’ve been able to piss you off to the extent that you literally despise me. Please, explain it to me.”

Yeji glared silently.  Then she squatted back down and faced the cat. 

“It’s… Not your fault.”

Your grip on your umbrella—that you didn't know had tightened—relaxed a little. “H-Huh?”

Yeji drew in a breath. “Go away.”

The roar of pattering raindrops on your umbrella seemed to go silent.

“W-Wait… What do you mean—”

“Go away or I’ll scream.”

You stood there for a moment. Then you slowly turned and retreated from your guitarist, leaving her vulnerable to the onslaught of water droplets from the sky once more. As you stood in the elevator, your mind seemed to be incapable of handling the creation of a mere string of thought. Yeji’s ambiguous line impacted you more than it should’ve. 

No work was done that night. Instead, you stared blankly at the login screen to your laptop, your fingers frozen on the keyboard. The cup of tea you’d made had gone cold long ago, the condensation on the inner walls of the cup flowing into the liquid and diluting it.

Why is this affecting me so much? I’m not even that close to her… 

You could figure out why Yeji’s statement screwed with you the way it did. However, an hour’s worth of thinking made you realise that it was the desire to receive her acceptance that drove you to care about this more than you should. You frustratedly smacked your forehead with your palm repeatedly, loud smacks carrying your confusement and frustration throughout your apartment. 

“Fuck. This band is messing me up…” you sighed. You took a sip of your lukewarm tea and cringed at its unnatural taste. It seems as though the tea was affected by your mood too. You felt the urge to talk to someone about what had happened, and when it came to Yeji, there was only one person that came to mind. 

From Shin Ryujin’s end, you could distinctly hear the sound of her cracking open a beer as you finished the last bit of your recount. 

“Hm…” your bassist mumbled, “I wonder what that could mean…”

You leaned back in your own chair and sighed. “This is bothering me more than it should. Is that weird? Am I weird?”

“Relax man. I think it’s just your nature,” she assured you, “don’t stress over this stuff, it’s alright to care sometimes.”

She belched loudly. You hurried to move the phone away from your ear.

“That’s fucking disgusting,” you muttered.

“Fuck you sideways Squeaker,” Ryujin retorted. She always had a thing for firing back with remarks that were beyond human imagination. “Anyway, thanks for telling me this. I’ll see if I can try to talk to her sister about it. Maybe she knows a thing or two.”

“Y-Yea… Maybe she does,” you echoed, “do you need help arranging a meeting? I can always just go down the hall and ask…”

“Shit. You live down the hall from Yeji?”

“Unfortunately. She moved in last week.”

There was a brief pause from Ryujin’s end. 

“Go get a six pack of beer for me,” she instructed, “I think I’m gonna be paying a house-warming visit.”

She followed you home from school the next night and retrieved the beer from your place. To your surprise, she’d actually bought a house warming gift for the Hwang’s. 

“The beer is simply a formality,” she told you, slinging the tote bag that contained her gift for the Hwangs over her shoulder. “It’s simply the warmer of souls, the pleaser of—”

“Just take the fucking beer and get out,” you told her. She grinned like a cheshire cat, satisfied that she’d managed to annoy you for the day. She went over to the Hwang residence without another word. You were relatively productive that night, burning through a decent amount of readings and completing two of the assignments that were due the next week. 

And then at 11pm, there was a knock on your door. You were lazing on your beanbag by then, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram and liking random images of capybaras. 

“Coming,” you muttered lazily. You rose and shuffled to the door. Two unexpected guests stood before you when you pulled the door open. 

“Hello!” Ryujin beamed. Next to her, Yeji grumbled something incoherent.

“W-What the…” you stammered. You were more shocked by Yeji’s presence than anything.

“Yeju wasn’t home,” Ryujin explained, waltzing into your apartment, “Yeji opened the door, I entered, cracked open a few beers, Yeji tried to chase me out, I pulled her out together with me, Yeji forgot her keys, here we are!”

The list of occurrences that tumbled from Ryujin’s mouth was nothing far from confusing. 

“I’m going to wait in front of my door,” Yeji muttered.

As the guitarist turned, Ryujin quickly strode over and grabbed her by the arm. “Nuh-uh.”

She dragged Yeji into your apartment and closed the door with her leg. “Let’s spend the time here! It’s so nice in Squeaker’s place!”

“She’s drunk,” Yeji told you.

“Not drunk! Tipsy!” Ryujin corrected, “if I were drunk, I would be slurring my sentences, but I’m not! Take that bitch!”

Yeji rolled her eyes. “This is ridiculous. I’m leaving.”

Ryujin blocked the door with her body. 

“You ain’t going nowhere kitty,” Ryujin smiled.

“Ryujin. Move,” Yeji growled. 

“Or what? What are you gonna do Yeji?” 

Yeji sighed and tried to push your bassist aside. With surprising agility, Ryujin grabbed Yeji’s wrist, pinning it against the wall in a swift movement. 

“W-What the hell! Let me go!” Yeji demanded. Ryujin grinned. 

“Nah-ah,” she replied.

Yeji futilely attempted to wrest herself from Ryujin’s grip. The bassist stayed smirking, catching her friend’s hand as she tried to push her away—Yeji’s other hand was pinned against the wall. 

“Relax kitty,” Ryujin whispered to her, “you’re being a very bad girl.”

“R-Ryujin! Don’t you dare!” Yeji warned. The panic was apparent in her voice. 

That was the first…

 Ryujin's smirk seemed to get even more smug . “Why not? We’ve done it before haven’t we?”

“T-That was a one off! I-I was drunk!” Yeji reasoned. 

Ryujin silenced her with a finger on her lips. “You enjoyed it last time, didn’t you?” 

“R-Ryujin… Please…” Yeji pleaded, “n-not here…”

Ryujin casted a glance in your direction.

“Why? You afraid Squeaker’s gonna let the whole world know about this?” she questioned Yeji. 

“Ryujin…” Yeji tried. 

When Ryujin shoved her knee in between Yeji’s legs, you knew that Yeji’s fate was sealed. You had no idea that Shin Ryujin of all people would be able to tame someone as fierce as Yej—Yet there she was, making the impossible possible.

“Anything else before we go on?” Ryujin questioned. Yeji opened her mouth, then she closed it. 

Yeji shook her head. Ryujin beamed.

“Neat,” your bassist mused, “we’ll have a fun time tonight.”

She was quick to drag Yeji over to the beanbag you were on just minutes ago. Then—rather boldly—Ryujin gripped Yeji’s T-shirt and ripped it right off her. 

“H-Hey!” Yeji cried, arms shooting across her chest to cover her vulnerable areas. “H-He’s right there!” 

“Oh relax, will you?” Ryujin scoffed, “he’s respectful. Isn’t that right Squeaky?” 

You flashed an awkward smile. You hoped that Yeji couldn’t see the tent in your pyjama pants.

“Come over here and help me,” Ryujin requested. 

“I-I… I really don’t think I should,” you reasoned, “I-I don’t think she wants me to touch her…”

“Does that really matter right now?” Ryujin rebutted. 

When you continued to stand there awkwardly, Ryujin rolled her eyes. “Ugh… No fun.”

She tugged Yeji’s shorts down, letting them fall and pool around her ankles. Yeji quickly moved and covered up her private parts. She looked rather uncomfortable.

“Ryujin,” you cautioned your bassist, “I-I don’t think we should—”

“I don’t need you being a wet blanket right now,” she chided, “if you aren’t joining, just sit out and watch.”

Every fibre of your body was urging you to just walk over right there and then. However, your conscience told you that doing so wouldn’t be wise. When Ryujin saw that you still remained in your spot, she scoffed. “Lame…”

She pushed Yeji down onto the beanbag. Yeji yelped as she fell into it, a gasp quickly following up as Ryujin fell atop of her.  Ryujin manoeuvred around Yeji’s body to remove the bra from her body. She succeeded and threw it away. In a flash, Ryujin herself was topless, her clothes adding on to the growing pile next to the beanbag. Her lips found Yeji’s, a sloppy makeout session ensuing.

Ryuin continued to assert her dominance over Yeji. Her right hand slowly made its way downward, until it reached the waistband of the simple, white panties Yeji wore. Spending not more than a second or two there, she reached further. The tips of her slim fingers quested below the thin cotton. When they reached a certain point, the gasps and soft sounds escaping Yeji’s lips cleared for a full moan of pleasure as Ryujin’s fingertips finally reached her most intimate parts. The moment that moan left Yeji’s mouth, you could see the smirk on Ryujin’s face grow wider. It was like she’d found a treasure.

From then, Ryujin refused to cease her assault on the guitarist’s body. Her left hand slid down the waistband of Yeji’s panties until the thin, tiny slip of fabric was halfway down the guitarist’s hips, giving her more than enough access to Yeji’s slick heat. You watched as Ryujin’s middle finger disappeared between Yeji’s legs. The rest of her hand covered your view—But the look on Yeji’s pleasure-stricken face told you all you needed to know regarding what that middle finger was doing.

“Look how fucking hot she is,” Ryujin said, her words dripping with lust, “she’s so fucking wet.”

Yehi let her loudest moan yet escape her lips. The sudden thrust and twist of Ryujin’s wrist tells you that she had penetrated the other girl with her fingers. Yeji’s legs close around her friend’s hand. 

“Fuck… Just as tight as the last time,” Ryujin smirked.

You found yourself squirming in place as your shaft continued to strain painfully against your pants. 

“I think you’ll like fucking her,” Ryujin stated, her voice taking on a softer tone, “She’ll be tight and wet for you… I bet you’d cum so quickly… A fucking shame that you’re choosing to miss out on this.”

Ryujin’s ring finger slipped between Yeji’s legs. You knew full well it had joined her middle finger inside Yeji’s body. Yeji’s legs seemed to have turned to jelly. Ryujin’s body covers Yeji’s bare skin, so you let your gaze roam up Ryujin’s toned back. And there, just to the left of Ryujin’s well shaped shoulders, you saw a pink nub rise and fall with each of Yeji’s laboured breaths.

Pink nipples—Yeji had pink nipples.

Yeji’s features—Usually fierce and full of anger—were twisted, wracked and contorted—Pleasure and lust coursed through her system, making her squirm beneath her friend. Her eyes, half-lidded with pleasure, stared up at the ceiling. Her mouth formed a perfect “O” as wordless sounds of pleasure left her lips.

“So tight… And she’s fucking drenched… Little slut,” Ryujin hissed. 

It all quickly becomes too much for the guitarist to handle. The pleasure of it all… It threatened to overwhelm her senses.

“Ryujin, I… Ryujin—” Yeji said quickly, as though she was barely able to form the words, “I’m going to…”

“You like being fingered? You like how I mess up your insides, don’t you Yeji?”

The guitarist’s only response was a long, passionate moan. She was suddenly unable to form words with her mouth. Every sound that escaped her was a moan of pleasure or a noise of the sort. It was like her brain had shut off, the pleasure in her system pushing the ability to think right out of her being.

“Do you like my fingers? Do you like getting finger fucked Yeji?”

Yeji squirmed. Her eyes shut as she moaned softly. It was like she was suddenly ashamed of how quickly and completely she had allowed Yeji to dominate her body and manipulate it to her liking. Ryujin moved her left hand to cup Yeji’s left breast, the index finger and thumb capturing her exposed, hardened nipple and giving it a soft squeeze. 

“Fucking cum Yeji.”

On cue, Yeji let out a scream. Her legs spasmed as an orgasm wracked her body. For several long seconds, Yeji writhes in pleasure beneath the bassist.  Ryujin turned and smiled devilishly at you. It was as if she was asking you whether you liked the little show she had just given you. She rose, leaving Yeji’s sweaty, heaving body on your bean bag as she strutted over. 

“I feel generous tonight,” she told you. Her hand grips your chin, tearing your gaze away from the guitarist before you can even take in her body. 

“Your table should hold my weight, right?” she asked. You nodded numbly. Wordlessly, she saunters over and clears a space for her to sit. Swiftly, she undid the belt that held up her baggy jeans, letting the denim fall off her slender legs. Her panties were off even quicker. 

You smiled devilishly as you undid your own pants and took your cock in one hand. You approached Ryujin, placing your shaft on Ryujin’s wanton pussy and dragging the head up and down her moist, dripping lips. 

Ryujin licked her lips. “She’s watching. Let’s give her a show, shall we?”

Grasping Ryujin’s legs, you raised them so that her calves were on your shoulders. Reaching down and placing your tip at her opening, you slowly pushed inside her. Entering Ryujin elicited a deep, lustful moan from her. You hear a soft set of footsteps approaching from behind. Yeji walked up next to the two of you. She knelt down, eyes glued on your cock that was buried inside her friend.

“T-Tell me how he feels,” Yeji requested.

“Fuck…” Ryujin gasped, unable to answer as you filled her completely. Your hips now touch her soaked, hot crotch as you bottomed out inside her heat. She savoured the feeling of being filled by you once more.

“He’s so big, Yeji,” Ryujin hissed, not taking her eyes away from yours, “he’s so big and thick and he’s fucking stretching me out… I think—”

Her moan cuts through her sentence. You’d cut short Ryujin’s descriptions as you began to move. Slowly, you drew your cock out from her tightly gripping pussy for the first time, savouring the feel of her lips wrapped tightly around your hard shaft as it tried to pull you back into her. You heard Yeji gasp at the sight of your cock drenched in slick, thick pussy juices. 

You drove back into Ryujin. Before long, you’ve settled into a slow but steady rhythm. You took your time, letting Yeji have a long glimpse of your cock as it appeared from between Ryujin’s glistening pussy before disappearing once more into the girl’s tight body. Ryujin was quickly reduced to a quivering, moaning mess as you fucked her. Gone was the girl that dominated Yeji just minutes before.

Her hands gripped the edge of your table with knuckle white grips, her mind and body relishing every thrust you made into her body. Words, cusses, moans… They spilled freely from her lips. 

“Oh, fuck! Fuck me just like that… Fuck me slow… Make me… Feel… Every inch of you! He’s so big, Yeji! He feels so fucking good inside me!”

You tore your gaze from Ryuin’s writhing body.  Yeji had begun to work her hand between her milky legs, her left hand clutching her right breast. You watched eagerly as she captured the pinkness of her nipples between her index and middle finger, delivering a small amount of pressure to the perky nubs.

With a foreign tone of lust, she drawled. “Fuck her… Fuck her harder…”

You grinned as the girl finally give into her desires. Her pleasure must’ve been heightened as she watched the erotic scene play out in front of her. You grasped Ryujin’s thighs and speared yourself deeper and deeper into the girl, using her long limbs as leverage to make each thrust harder than the last.

For long minutes, you fucked her like that. Her toned, slim body rocked back and forth helplessly on the table, her round breasts bouncing wantonly with each impact of your hips into her hot body..

“Oh, fuck! Yes! Fuck me harder… As hard as you want! O-Oh! Fuck YES!”

Ryujin is more than happy to let you have your way with her body. You knew from all the time you’d spent with her that she was more than comfortable with rough sex. Unreserved, you let loose and began o truly fuck her the way she wanted, the way she yearned, the way she loved to be fucked. 

Pounded. That was it—Shin Ryujin loved getting pounded.

You let her legs fall from your shoulders. You spread her thighs, a palm on each one before forcing her onto her left side. Keeping her right leg in the air, you continued to fuck her, giving Yeji the perfect view of your cock as it slid in and out of her friend’s pussy.

The new position drives Ryujin mad. Your first few thrusts into her wet, tight pussy were your indication. Her moans and gasps continued, higher in pitch and louder in volume as you drove deeper and faster into her pussy. The wet, slick sounds of her juices and the wet flesh around your cock reverberates through the apartment as you continued to fuck the mewling, moaning girl. Between her splayed lips, you could feel the heat radiating from her core surrounding your shaft.

“Oh god, Yeji he’s… he’s so big inside me. He’s fucking me so good!”

“How… how does your pussy f-feel, Ryujin?”

“It feels… So good… So full of his cock… M-Mmmmph… I’m so fucking wet! I'm gonna... I'm gonna...”

It was all quickly becoming too much to handle—Watching Yeji be used and Yeji watching you use her friend. Your own peak was rapidly approaching.

“Fuck… I’m gonna cum soon.”

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop fucking me!” Ryujin cried. “Mmmm, I’m getting close!”

“I… I’m cumming!” you heard. The voice was not from Ryuin, but from Yeji. The guitarist was a squirming mess on her knees, her body wracked with spasms as she orgasmed. You tore your gaze from Ryujin to watch as Yeji quivered and shook in her place, her hand working busily between her thighs as the rest of her body straightened involuntarily in pleasure.

“Ohh.. oh, I’m cumming!” Ryujin exclaimed. She took your attention back once again. Her pussy pulsated, squeezing you tightly—The signal of her impending orgasm.

“Where—”

“Inside me!” she answered, cutting you off, “inside me, please! Fill me… Fill me with your cum!”

She came first. The tightening of her spasming pussy around your shaft quickly drove you to orgasm as well. Burying yourself as deep as you can within her hot, slick pussy, you erupted.

Your cock sent stream after stream of thick, hot semen into her body. She tightened around you, squeezing your cock tightly and milking you of every drop. You let yourself savour every second of it, the feel of Ryujin’s body wrapped around you, the feel of her wet walls being painted with cum, the sound of her and Yeji’s moans filling your ears. You were certain that this was paradise.

You stood there exhausted. Soon you finally slipped out of her body with a slick pop. Ryujin turned onto her back, too exhausted to do anything further. White, thick liquid oozes between the splayed lips of her freshly fucked pussy, before a thick stream began to flow from her body onto her flushed thighs and your table.

“Oh fuck…” Ryujin heaved, “that… That was fucking hot…”

She let her legs dangle off the table, keeping them spread as she looked over to her friend on her knees. “Come here and clean me up Yeji.”

The girl eagerly rose from her knees and knelt back down in front of Ryujin’s still spread legs. She doesn’t waste any time, diving in and licking the thick white cum that flowed from your bassist’s pussy like it was a delicacy. Ryujin hummed softly, basking in the pleasure at the feel of Yeji’s tongue attacking her still sensitive lips. When Ryujin had enough, she pushed Yeji’s head away. You swore you saw a hint of disappointment on Yeji’s face.

She slid off the desk. You caught her, holding her steady as she found her footing on her jelly-like legs. 

“Shit… I need to sleep,” she muttered, “Squeaker, carry me to your bed, will you?” 

You complied. You laid her down on your mattress as gingerly as you could, making sure to pull the covers over her nude body. Then, you went over to your cupboard and pulled out a shirt.

“Where… Are you going?” Ryujin asked as you were about to head out.

“I’m just passing this to Yeji,” you told her, “she’ll need this.”

Ryujin hummed and turned on her side. “Sleep next to me when you come back.”

You walked out. Yeji had put her bra and shorts back on and was gathering what was left of her shirt.

“H-Hey,” you called. You walked over and handed the shirt to her. “You’ll need to cover up. H-Have this.”

Yeji stared at the shirt for a moment. It was one of those old anime shirts you picked up from the thrift store. It would definitely be baggy on Yeji’s small frame, but it was all you could really offer her. 

You thought that she’d smack your hand away and tell you to fuck off or something. To your surprise—and some delight—she gingerly took the shirt from you. Wordlessly, she slipped it on. 

“Thanks,” she voiced, “I’ll go now.”

You walked her to the door and opened it for her. “I-Is Yeju back to open the door?”

“S-She should be,” Yeji replied.

“R-Right then… H-Have a good night,” you wished her. She looked at you for a moment. You were certain she was going to call you a slur.

“G-Good night,” she wished back, “I-I’ll see you tomorrow for practice...”

Yeji hugged herself and hurried down the hall. You figured that the embarrassment had made her act like this. Tomorrow, she’d go back to cussing you out like a sailor.

You returned to your room after locking up. Ryujin had fallen fast asleep by then, snoring rather loudly as you silently slipped into the space next to her. 

***

“You think she’ll be awkward when she sees us?” Ryujin asked as the two of you got off the bus. 

“She’ll be fine with you, but she’s gonna kill me,” you muttered. 

Ryujin cackled. “Ah… So this whole thing is no longer my problem!”

You shot her a glare.

“You were the one that initiated things. It still is your problem,” you told her.

“Hey. You both enjoyed it didn’t you?” she smirked. 

“That doesn’t negate the fact that you started the whole thing!” you argued.

“What are you guys getting so heated over?” 

You turned. Kim Chaewon gazed at the both of you, a blank expression on her face. 

“Oh. Hey Chaewon,” Ryujin waved, “we were just having friendly banter. We aren’t gonna kill each other if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Chaewon gazed intently at Ryujin for a moment, then transferred her gaze back to you. “So I was that forgettable huh?”

You blinked. “W-What?”

“You’ve already moved on, haven’t you?” Chaewon questioned, “getting yourself involved in a band with a bunch of girls like I was never important. You’re fucking disgusting.”

Chaewon shoulder-checked you as she walked past, making sure to let her trumpet case strike your shin as well. You winced, a sharp pain shooting up your leg. 

“Fuck,” you hissed. Ryujin quickly held onto you.

“That girl is psycho,” she told you. 

“Bratty is a better word,” you replied, “please don’t tell me she’s gonna join the band…”

Ryujin pursed her lips. “Well… Judging from the fact that she has her trumpet case with her on a Friday—I’d say that Eunbi managed to get through to her.”

“Christ on a fucking pike,” you sighed, “Yeji was enough for me to handle already…”

The pain was slowly fading now. You tapped Ryujin’s shoulder. “I think I can walk this off,”

Your bassist let go of you, letting you walk forward on your own for a bit before jogging up to you.

“Chin up Squeaker,” she assured you, “I’m sure that there’s a way to achieve peace in our band.”

You sure as hell hoped so. If not—you were in for one hell of a ride.

[tritoch]

Something that bugs me a lot in Dawntrail discourse is watching people who think they are defending the expansion argue away its best aspect. Because here's the thing: Wuk Lamat isn't like prior FFXIV characters. She takes up way more space than them. That's good!

A common thread you see in defenses is that people are complaining about things they were fine with earlier in the story. "Oh well actually Lyse was also the main character of Stormblood and people didn't hate her as much!" or "Heavensward is the story of Aymeric and Estinien and Ysayle, and the Warrior of Light doesn't do that much!" or "No one complained when Gaia jumped into the Eden raids, or when Emet showed up during Seat of Sacrifice" with the implied conclusion of "Wuk Lamat's not different from any other previous major character, your complaints have more to do with [sexism/transphobia/your crippling insecurity about not being the main character] than the way she's written." First of all people did hate Lyse. I get what you are saying but they very much did hate Lyse.

But Wuk Lamat is different. She's different because Dawntrail is unapologetically, full-throatedly her story. She is there at the start, she is there at the end, she is there basically all the way through except for a brief interlude. She is the character you talk to the most, she is also the character that talks the most. She has more of a complete arc than anyone else in the expansion. The antagonists develop much stronger direct and personal relationships to her than they ever do with you. Several major characters have relationships to you through her more than they do with you directly. At multiple points in the story you explicitly step back and are like "Go right ahead, queen, do the main character stuff." She 100% takes your role in certain ways. She's literally a new WL to your WoL!

and that's awesome! Like, holy shit! If you had traveled back in time and told me after Endwalker, "Hey, the next expansion will be almost solely and entirely focused on the character journey of a young woman, and she'll be nuanced and complex and allowed to fail but also allowed to succeed wildly, and her characterization will be interesting and her ideals will be very directly challenged, and she'll get to do some real classic 'sorry my noble opponent but I must stop you, even though I sympathize' shit, and the way she is framed won't feel excessively male-gazey, and she won't get stuck in the FFXII Ashe Miniskirt, and she won't just be someone you watch and clap for while the real protagonist and narrator is some random guy in her entourage," I would've been like "haha, okay, I like FFXIV as much as the next guy but I don't think it's shaken its baseline sexism off enough to do an expansion entirely about a woman and her personal growth and what makes her a good leader, especially after Stormblood's mixed reception. And CBU3 definitely doesn't have the guts to make her even more of a main character than any other prior NPC, and you didn't mention this part future time traveler, but I also don't believe they'll be willing to cast a trans woman in the role." And I would have been fucking wrong!

Yes, Wuk Lamat is the main character. Yes, she does get more attention than other NPCs, or even your Warrior of Light. And yes, that's totally fine, and even something to praise!!! You don't have to run from it to accommodate people who are looking for something to complain about!

[soobrat]

fuck up my life; hjs

milestone celebration masterlist

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ pairing; han jisung x afab!reader

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ words; 14.8k

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ genre; angst, smut, fluff

˗ˏˋ🎧´ˎ˗ warnings; descriptions of pain inflicted by extreme cold, SLOOOOW burn, mentions of extramarital affairs, cunnilingus, PIV, passionate sex, multiple reader orgasms, unprotected sex (leave me alone)

↻ ◁ || ▷ : Two things: my insistence on using Loona members means there is a character named Hyunjin in a skz fic who isn't skz Hyunjin. I was going to change it but I feel like it's not that hard. She's a girl, she's not Hwang Hyunjin, it's that simple Also, this is a fic that references a real place with a real culture and real people. NOTHING I write in this fic reflects how I feel about the people who live in Jeju or how Jeju actually is. It is COMPLETELY fictional and had nothing to do with anything I've witnessed about Jeju. (and yeah I changed up the little banner, I liked the idea of a little moodboard.)

act iii ➻ run

Winter 2025

“To the bride!” 

To say the group sat in front of Jisung were rowdy would be an understatement. They shout and laugh, effusing over the lucky couple’s merriment. Your husband looks to you, drowning in layers of white fabric, and raises his glass. The group doesn’t even try to be contained to their booth, spilling out of their seats onto the floor only to pile back up into the booth again. A waitress comes over and stammers a request for you guys to pipe down. None of you listen, in fact, you look over at the waitress with a twinkle in your eye as you gather her hands to her confusion.

“I’m a married woman now.” You say dreamily. As the cheering from your crowd gets louder, the waitress retracts her hands and retreats through an “Employees Only” door. Jisung clenches his glass, his eyes dead set on your figure. What he did to Jiwoo was for her sake, but it was also for you. Yet here you are. You’d rather traumatize yet another sad sap than just wait for him. Jisung is flogged with bitterness against his better judgment. He should know better than to accept this as reality, but his heart won’t listen to his head.

“We’re going to have to ask you all to leave.” A man speaks to Jisung’s right. He keeps his eyes on you. 

“Seriously?! It’s my wedding day!” You cry out, hoping the manager or whoever will understand how much heartbreak he’s causing you. 

“You guys are disrupting the other patrons. If you don’t leave, I’ll have to call the police.” The man remains calm, even offering these punks courtesy by lowering his voice. Jisung’s eyelids twitch, his eyes burning with his insistence to keep them on you.

“Sir, have you never had fun? Let loose? Sometimes rules are stifling, you know. Maybe you just haven’t met the right people to–”

The glass he’s been clenching is launched to the ground before the motion is even registered in his mind. Red drains from his vision as in one swing, all his frustration is emptied. He assumes everyone is looking at him, but he only sees you. Or… not you.

The woman looks shocked, a little scared. Suddenly not so enthused about her rowdy marriage celebration. Jisung is finally unclenched from his fixation, looking around the room at the confused and shocked faces. His hand dives into his pockets, pulling a couple withered bills coated in something. He drops them on the table haphazardly, rushing from his table and out of the door.

He slides in his car and slams the door shut. Heaving, he settles back into his chair. He knew that wasn’t you. He does this every fucking time. He swallows hard, his hands clumsily jam the key into the ignition.

He pulls into the complex’s parking lot and opens the sun visor. His key ring drops into his lap but his attention lingers on his reflection and what the couple and their group must’ve seen. His patchy facial hair, the turbulent mop on his head, eyes red with irritation surrounded by dark circles. Not much has changed, he thinks, despite a year passing.

Spring 2024

“What was the occasion?” The consignment shop owner asks absentmindedly, glancing at Jisung after he doesn’t get an answer. Jisung gapes at him, brushing his sweaty palms off on his pants. 

“A lot of men sell their suits after their weddings,” he starts again, rubbing the material of the suit between his fingers, “women are a little more sentimental about this stuff–”

“How much? Um, h-how much for it?” Jisung interrupts the owner’s chuckling. The owner looks up again, this time he seems to take in Jisung’s disheveled appearance and his agitated state. He doesn’t comment on the obvious, just offers Jisung a tight smile.

“This was tailored to you, correct?”

Jisung exhales tightly, rubbing his forehead. He didn’t even think about that. “Yeah, but–”

“Then I’m sorry, it’ll slice the price down.”

Jisung lets out a heavy sigh, the stress making him want to lay on the floor and yell. 

“I think… maybe around one thousand.”

“One thousand?” Jisung’s mood immediately flips. Both men look at each other, puzzled. 

“This is designer, right? Cucinelli?” The owner asks like he’s confused why he even has to.

“I-I don’t…” He didn’t buy it. His father in law did. “I’ll take it.”

The owner beams, looking happy to have such a nice piece for sale. “Would you like it in cash?”

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

He counts the cash as he thinks over his plan once more. He has more than enough for the ticket. When he gets there… maybe he’ll stay at a motel? Is it a walkable city? He can hear Jiwoo now, scolding him for not planning this out. He could have gone about this all in a different way. It doesn’t matter. And Jiwoo… she’ll be hurt now, but she’ll be better off this way. And he’ll figure it out. He has to.

“Next!” 

Jisung’s eyes dart up to the person behind the desk before gathering his cash. “Yes um, one way to… Jeju?”

“Sir. The next train from here to Jeju doesn’t come until tomorrow.” She responds in vexed monotone. The look on the employee’s face expresses exactly what Jisung is thinking. But wondering why he didn’t look this up beforehand won’t change the fact that he still has to wait. 

“O-of course! I’ll um…” Jisung gives up on trying to look less stupid and skitters away. As he shuts the door to his motel room behind him, a strong fear that he’ll be staying there forever crops up. He shakes it away for now. He can’t think that way for the sake of his sanity. 

The next morning he comes back to the train station with his tail tucked between his legs. 

“The next train will come at noon.” This employee was much more chipper as she delivered bad news. Jisung sighs, having gotten up at 6 am for no reason. It’s not like he was sleeping much anyway. He can brazenly blame his lack of sleep for his lack of preparation yet again, but the twisting in his stomach didn’t lie. He sits on the many wooden benches that resembled pews in the waiting area. Even sitting on them was eerily familiar. His body curves over, making it harder for his older self like always with the way he contorts his spine. Before he can examine his watch, he catches a glimpse of his warped appearance around the metal frame. It holds him, the warping doing nothing to hide how tired he looked. He’ll have to shave soon. Does he have a razor?

He’s ruining his life.

The thought booms, shaking him. Jisung bites down hard on his lip. No matter how much he tries to distract himself, the feeling won’t go away. 

“Train to Daegu?” A worker taps Jisung’s shoulder and jolts him awake. Jisung makes groggy noises, frazzled as he glances around before shaking his head. “If you’re taking the train to Daegu, start heading to track seven now!” The worker yells as he walks past the benches. Jisung hadn’t even noticed himself go to sleep.

He glances at his watch again. 10:35. Great. He readjusts against the solid wood before crossing his arms. 

“Train to Jeju?” The worker jolts Jisung awake once again. Once he gains his barings, he hurriedly gathers his duffle bag full of haphazardly purchased clothing. “Head to track 8, sir.” The worker nods at him before continuing down the walkway. 

As Jisung ventures between the trains he keeps seeing Jiwoo’s face. One of the train’s horns blows, making him jump. Even as he boards the train and makes his way to his seat, he sees that face she made when he looked back. The sheer horror and disbelief. He clenches his fists against his legs. No. It’s what needed to happen. Getting married would have been no better. His lengthy sigh is only a facade of relaxation. He shuts his eyes and leans back.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Winter 2025

Being in a fresh place with fresh faces, it would be better for you. That was the plan, at least. This house is perfect. The architecture is gorgeous, everything you dreamed about. That didn’t change the fact that it was a reminder. Nothing about the soothing sound of the waves crashing against the shore eased the sting. You explain all of this to your psychologist.

“That makes sense to me. Of course you’d still feel that way.” says Dr. Ha Sooyoung, who was surprised but intrigued to hear you weren’t married or engaged. Usually people who live there either immediately settle down or hightail it out of there according to her. Her telling you this worried you, you wondered if she was unequipped to handle such a trainwreck. You were hilariously wrong. “Who should we start with today?” She looks up at you, smiling to prompt you to answer. You still hesitate, knowing she doesn’t frame it this way to embarrass you. It still does.

“J-Jisung.” You want to disappear as soon as his name leaves your mouth. You bite your lip to keep it from quivering. 

“Okay.” There is no hint of a foul disposition in her voice. She smiles pleasantly. “I noticed we don’t talk about Minho as much.”

You shake off your self-pity and nod. “I feel better about him, I think.”

“I think that was thanks to you. Your last words to him were very thoughtful and mature.” She gives you props, seeming genuinely impressed. You nod more emphatically. 

“I find that I mostly want to know if he’s doing alright. I know he’s out now, but I try not to overstep. I just… I really hope he isn’t blaming himself.” You undercut your worry with a dry laugh. You wince, wondering why you feel like you have to filter your emotions around her after all this time.

“From what I understand, Minho really cares about you. I don’t think it’s just contained to romance or labels. He saw you, a person, at your absolute lowest and didn’t like what he saw. You said that when you brought it up he didn’t like it, right?” You confirm, letting Sooyoung take you for a ride through her thought process. It used to make you nervous, always thinking she was going to call you a piece of shit. At least you know better now.

“I bet it’s because it was a hard thing for him to see and think about. But I can guarantee you coming into that visitation area and calmly letting him go helped immensely. He doesn’t have to worry if you’re okay anymore. I think it’s time you stop worrying as well.”

You settle into the plush armchair across from her, feeling wrapped in a blanket of serenity. You smile at Sooyoung, the blanket slipping once you remember something.

“Sooyoung, will you be honest with me?”

“Always. What is it?”

“If I go back to Jisung… would that be cruel to Minho?” You almost don’t want to look at her, but you do. You can tell by the look on her face that she isn’t going to sugar coat it.

“I’ll ask you a question. How would you describe the state of you and Minho’s relationship?”

You laugh unintentionally, catching yourself shortly after and covering your mouth. “I’d say that’s long over.” You express after calming.

“Well, it has been about two years so I think that’s a natural take away. I’d say you two are at the position where maybe each other’s decisions shouldn’t bother the other too much.”

You decide to sleep on that. The nightmare you have that night makes you think sleeping on it might’ve been a bad idea. Once you finally rip yourself from your unconscious you whip out your phone. You instinctively text her at this point, letting her know that at least this time you did manage to fall asleep.

Ha Sooyoung: That’s great to hear. Try to get some more rest, watch something that’ll make you feel better. Text me in the morning.

You’ve deduced that that’s her nice way of telling you to stop texting her at 2 am. You imagine that it’s times like this people would recommend a diary. You throw on a kdrama, yet another decision that ends up screwing you. The kdrama you chose was one about a wife who takes her husband for granted and ends up regretting it upon hearing about her declining health. Your brain rewards you with a hazy dream where you’re bedridden and completely paralyzed. Watching everyone in your life slip away. You force yourself awake once more and decide to start your day at 7 am.

Waking up early was never your thing. You have passed on many employment opportunities based on how early they wake you. So in theory you’d be pissed you were pulling yourself from the comfort of your bed to make breakfast. But Sooyoung has taught you the importance of positive thinking. You used to think that was bullshit that people who didn’t have problems claimed was life changing. You have noticed a difference, though. 

Even when a couple pieces of eggshell fall into the pan and you burn yourself trying to get it, it doesn’t get to you. You smile to yourself once you notice. You take time with your breakfast bagel, savoring it. You grimace once you find the shells, but it doesn’t make the sandwich taste worse. You sigh, enjoying the brief serenity despite knowing it was going to expire. The nightmares still haunt you. It’s as if your brain doesn’t realize they’re not real yet. You sit with them like Sooyoung would want you to. Is this your mind expressing that you’re regretful? Obviously you are, there’s nothing more you can do now. You’ve spoken to Minho and Jiwoo and said your piece. You were a little unstable when Jiwoo contacted you, but what you said was true. Dwelling on it is only going to make it worse.

You’re already alone, anyway.

The final piece that you swallow is far too big. It climbs slowly down your throat, hurting the entire way down. You beat at your chest as if it’ll help, clenching your face hard. 

Just a minor setback, you think as you pick out your outfit for work. You found a stunning boutique in Jeju-si at the end of last year. You originally planned to go there to shop but saw they were hiring. They don’t give you a dress code, so you grab your favorite shirt. It defaulted to your favorite after you sold most of your clothing for extra cash. It’s a baby blue cashmere sweater. The beaded neckline and buttons on each sleeve were aesthetically pleasing, but the thickness and quality fabric made it ideal for the cold weather. You immediately feel soothed as you smooth your hands down the soft fabric.

As you stride down the sidewalk, you can’t help feeling extra cozy in your coat and scarf. You enter the boutique with a genuine smile. The usual patrons were young couples, old couples, and half of a couple looking for a gift. This would be the first time since working here that you saw a group of women your age. They looked like they shopped here, in fact you think you recognize a couple of them. Their vibe screamed polished but ultra-feminine. As they coast from rack to rack you become a fly on the wall. You listen as close as you can, spectating their movements and chatter. For a moment you imagine yourself with them, laughing derisively at the thought.

When they finish they make their way to the front. You notice one of the women staring at your shirt. Suddenly self-conscious, you tug and pull at it as if your actions will make it imperceptible. 

“Your shirt…” The woman speaks, slightly taller than the others. After she gets her fill she switches her attention to your face, priming a question. You swallow hard, wishing you could teleport out of there.

“Where did you get it? It’s gorgeous!” The women around her make comments and noises in agreement. Suddenly shifting back to your previous content, you smile wide. 

“I–! Um… I believe it was Khaite?” Again you’re met with rousing praise. 

“How beautiful! I don’t mean to be weird, but can I feel? I heard Khaite is popular for their cashmeres.” The woman speaks again, one of her friends seconding the request. You shrug as if you’re not absolutely loving the attention. You extend both arms and the woman reaches out before retracting her hand. She looks at you apologetically. 

“I feel like I should introduce myself first. I’m Hyunjin,” she starts before pointing to each person around her, “this is Kahei, Gowon, Jinsoul, and Yerim.” They greet you as each of their names are called. You greet them back, offering your name despite not being prompted to. You feel desperate suddenly, like you’re being met with a prime opportunity. Hyunjin returns to your sweater, brushing her fingers against the fabric. Gowon joins in, both of them remarking on the quality in shock. You can’t help beaming. How could you when the only consistent interactions you have are ones you pay for or are being paid for. Also, you feel like you’re finally hitting it off with everyone who hated you in high school.

The girls brief you that– as long as you’re okay with it– they like to have their first meeting with a new friend at said friend’s place. You agree, making a mental note to storm through your house like the Tasmanian devil to get it spotless. You throw on the outfit you hurriedly picked out at your store before looking in your mirror. The dress itself is lovely, of course, but looking at it on you makes you sick. Looking at yourself at all in the mirror does. All you see is every moment of preparation to inflict pain on someone who did nothing but love you. You shake the thought away, ears perking up at the sound of knocking on the door.

You take a few deep breaths, hoping it will offset the nausea. You plaster on a brave face as you open the door. The girls greet you excitedly before admiring your home. Gowon especially, who enters the home a lot more enthusiastically than the others. In a feat you thought impossible, Gowon’s eyes get larger. 

“I can’t believe it! This is the house! Me and my husband were just looking at this before it was sold. What are the odds?”

“Really?” You remark, matching her disbelief. “That’s crazy. Shocking odds, I’m sure.” You and her laugh. Each girl twirls around to get a good look at the house and your pride hides a deeper emotion that you push down.

“Oh! Please, have a seat! Make yourselves at home.” You urge as you guide them to your living room.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Gowon wiggles her eyebrows at you, hinting at something else. You stare at her for a moment as it hits you. You’re not sure what you’re escaping from quite yet, but your mind shouts desperately that this is your way out.

As the women settle in you notice something. “Where are my manners? I didn’t even check if you guys were hungry. I’m not much of a cook but we could order something.” You say frantically as you wipe your sweaty palms off on your dress. The girls look at each other, some announcing that they’re not hungry and others that they could eat.

“Anything you guys have in mind?” You ask as you take out your phone.

“Hmmm, I’ve been craving Chinese.” Jinsoul offers. Your thumbs freeze over your phone. The other girls agree, even the ones who said they weren’t hungry. So you place everyone’s order including yours. The one that you had offhandedly mentioned to Jisung. The one that he had ready for you before you ran out. Once the food is delivered and is set out on your dining room table it really sets in. You know what Sooyoung told you, but that doesn’t make you feel any better at this moment. You can’t look back at that memory. Especially not with the regret you’re feeling.

“So anyway, tell us about yourself.” Kahei diverges from the conversation topic you weren’t paying attention to. The girls turn their attention accordingly, tuning in to the grand story they seem to be expecting. 

“Yeah… tell us why you look like you’re always whimsically reminiscing about your husband who’s lost at sea.” Hyunjin raises her eyebrows like she knows you know exactly what she’s talking about. You choke out a squawk of a laugh in shock.

“Wh… what?!” You shout with a tinge of fear. You subconsciously cross your arms over your chest to prevent from telling on yourself anymore. The girls break up about the entire display, falling over the counter. You can’t help but genuinely laugh yourself, and you actually know why it’s funny.

“No um,” you gather yourself, eyebrows tightening at the fact that you’re going to admit any part of this, “I just… I’ve been eyeing this house for a while. Alone.” You bail out despite tacking that on at the end and making yourself suspicious.

“So no husband lost at sea.” Hyunjin playfully confirms while pointing at you with narrowed eyes.

“No.” You quickly reply. You laugh nervously amongst the sea of genuine giggles, eyeing everyone to monitor what else you might’ve let on.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

“On saturday, he ate through one piece of chocolate cake–” Heejin freezes when someone knocks on the door. She looks at Mihee excitedly, causing Mihee to gasp. “I wonder who that is!”

Heejin grunts as she raises Mihee off her lap and sets her on the ground. She hurries to the door, opening it to confirm that both of her suspicions are correct. There he is, his hands too full to turn the doorknob. 

“Ji-Ji!!” Mihee exclaims as she runs to him. Jisung laughs awkwardly as she hugs his waist.

“Hello.”

Heejin rolls her eyes at the awkward display before prying Mihee off him. “Alright, go sit back down and wait for mommy.”

“Did you bring ice cream?” Mihee asks, already whining. 

“Hey! What did I tell you about asking him for things when I already said no?” Heejin maintains her firmness despite her daughter’s pouting. “Go sit by the couch, come on.” 

Jisung watches in awe as Heejin guides her daughter back to the floor by the couch. She never seems too harsh or too soft when it comes to Mihee. It’s like she always knows exactly what to say and what to do. He imagines Jiwoo would be the same as a mother. Maybe parenting that good comes with being a good person. 

He sets the groceries on the counter, releasing his grasp on them slowly as something distracts him. He moves to the stove, shocked by how shiny it looks suddenly.

“I cleaned it.” Heejin says from right behind him. He jolts and turns to face her. His shock morphs to slight disappointment. 

“I told you I’d handle that when I got home.”

“And I told you you didn’t have to. Wasn’t cleaning the rest of the house enough?” She asks rhetorically as she starts putting away the groceries. He just closes his mouth, knowing he’s not going to stop her. If it was up to him, she wouldn’t have to worry about anything but taking care of her daughter. It’s the least he could do.

Summer 2024

If he just focuses on one task it’ll be less overwhelming. He needs a new ID. For a new ID, he needs proof of address. For proof of address, he needs to find a place to live instead of couchsurfing. To find a place to live to acquire important documents, the landlords require said documents. He clenches his steering wheel, waiting for a hit. He stares at the app as if one will come faster.

A knock on his window scares him. He looks at the owner of the restaurant who’s parking lot he’s in.

“I told you you can’t sleep here!”

Exasperated, Jisung rolls down his window. “I’m not! I’m just–”

“Get out of here before I call the police!”

Jisung grits at the owner as they walk away before starting his engine. Maybe driving around will help him find someone. Surely enough, the rideshare app rings out. He hurriedly accepts the request, stabilizing his poorly hoisted up phone.

When he pulls up, a woman and man stumble in. He eyes them in the mirror, knowing just by the look of them that they aren’t going to tip. He begrudgingly starts the engine.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Jisung drives aimlessly through the city as if something will just jump out at him. He can’t find a couch to sleep on tonight and his eyelids are getting heavy. He pulls into the first parking lot he sees. He’ll just get a little shut eye while the parking lot’s still full. It’s either that or causing a car accident. He wakes up to a stiff back and the sun in his eyes. He blinks away the burning sensation, catching a glimpse of someone unlocking the building he’s parked out front of. They glance in his direction and Jisung prepares to be shouted at. However, the older man just smiles stiffly and waves at him. Jisung hesitantly waves back. He checks his phone to see what time it is. The cheap screen is useless in even the smallest amount of sun so he cups his hand above it. 12:33 pm.

He steps out of his car, stretching until all the joints that locked up were sufficiently popped. He happens to catch a glimpse of the sign when he cracks open his eyelids. He’s parked outside of a bar, and judging by the owner flipping the sign, one that opens relatively early. Curious, he steps into the establishment. It has the stereotypical pool table, the bar, and a few places to sit and eat. It has that cozy, rustic feel that most modern bars try to replicate. Jisung hesitantly sits at the bar.

“Um, thank you.” Jisung says sheepishly. The owner cocks an eyebrow at him.

“What? You sleeping out there? You’re not bothering me. Just don’t park in my spot.” His bluntness makes Jisung reconsider his approach. “Can I help you?” He’s mixing a little impatience in now and Jisung immediately takes the hint.

“S-somaek. Please. Sir.”

The man grunts before grabbing a bottle and a can from under the bar. He slides both to him. “Nine dollars.”

“Oh sir, I don’t plan on drinking this whole thing. Can I just have a glass–”

“Nine dollars.”

Jisung sits for a moment, wondering if he should leave and never come back. Then he’d risk losing a solid place to sleep. Jisung presents his card to which the man presents a small Square terminal. He takes his drinks and a glass to a table in the corner of the bar. One bottle and can turn to three by the time patrons come and go. He finds himself comforted by the chaotic environment. As he gains more of a buzz he feels himself levitating. He sees you as his eyes flutter closed.

Day and night he spends his time at the bar. The owner seems less annoyed now that he’s a paying regular. People come and go, clouding his brain satisfyingly with the noise. Some even bump into him, apologizing despite his indifference. Fall comes as his health declines. For once the owner protests his presence, complaining about the smell. He physically kicks Jisung out, sending him tumbling out the door. 

“Fuck you, I don’t care about you anyway.” Jisung mumbles an incoherent slosh of words as he kicks at the ground. The action sends him tumbling back to the ground. 

“You okay?” Jisung looks up after being questioned by a gruff male voice. Above him he only sees you. It’s a confusing, inconsistent mess of what he still remembers, but it’s enough for him to act on it. He stands up shakily, clenching your shoulders that don’t feel like your shoulders. He calls out your name.

“I’ve been looking for you, I came here for you!” He says happily. You shake him off, remarking to someone behind you that he’s “totally out of it”. You and your friends leave and he shambles after you. He miscalculates his steps and falls especially hard. He cradles his knee, rolling around on the floor. It’s okay, he can still sleep here. He still has a place to sleep. He opens his back door and splays out onto the seats, his feet dangling out of the car. With his face squished against the seats he calls out to you again.

“Come find me...”

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Jisung groans when he feels his body move. His head is pounding and he can see the sunlight through his eyelids. He groans again, this one more akin to a whine. He notices his body is still moving around. Then he feels a hand that’s not his patting against his upper leg. He jolts upright, the action sending a bolt of blinding pain through his brain. When his vision finally focuses, he sees two men rummaging around in his car. One leaning over the driver’s seat and carding through his center console and the other right beside him, reaching for the floor. Jisung shouts out in shock. The man in the front looks over at him, cursing before retreating out the door and slamming it. While he’s staring at him, he notices the other is especially close. He turns to see him closing in on Jisung. He screams in horror and shields his face. The man reaches past him and grabs his duffle bag before fleeing. That doesn’t stop Jisung from flashing back to his assault, trembling as he slips out of the backseat and scrambles into the front. He drops his keys, reaching for them urgently before shoving them into the ignition. He glances at the suspicious onlookers keeping a watchful eye on him. He floors it, swinging haphazardly out of the parking lot. All their faces are vivid in his mind as he speeds down the street.

Images of Minho’s enraged eyes as he pummeled Jisung distract him. Cars honk as they pass his swerving vehicle. He eventually decides to park near a bus stop, slipping from his car and staggering onto the sidewalk. The first thing his eyes catch when he looks up is a sign on a utility pole.

“Single mother looking for a roommate.You’ll have access to the living room futon and all the amenities. $50 a month. Contact me at xxx-3894 or come to the Bayview apartments and ask for Heejin.”

Jisung laughs at himself. Just his luck that he’d see this when he needed it the most. It’s like someone is playing a cruel joke, daring him to nearly get killed again. He takes it as a challenge, gritting his teeth. ‘I’m not afraid to die’, he thinks as he hops back into his car. A piece of shit like him should be able to handle at least this much. Pain throbs right behind his eyes as he types the apartment name into his phone. He has tunnel vision the entire trip there, strutting through the doors and immediately losing his confidence. A burly man sits behind the counter. 

“Yes?”

Jisung is met with that familiar impatience.

“There was an ad for a roommate…” Jisung finds it hard to think after months of letting his brain rot.

“You’re looking for Heejin.” He states as if to remind him. Jisung nods, swallowing when he notices his mouth feels like cotton. The man moves from behind the desk. “Alright, hands up.” He says as he approaches Jisung. Jisung stammers and looks at him in confusion, leading to the man raising his arms for him. Oh god, he was actually going to die. He feels tears prickle his eyes, anger and frustration filling him at the sensation. Why did he even care? It’s not like he deserved to live. The man pats him down before giving Jisung a hardy “Alright”.

Jisung looks up at him expectantly. 

“Third floor, room 308.”

As he exited the elevator, Jisung kept thinking of every horror movie he’s ever seen where they lure some idiot into a secluded area and torture him for their amusement. He watches as insects crawl out from tears in the yellowed wallpaper. Everything is screaming at him to turn around but for what? So he can find another bar to drink himself into an early grave? Is life the way it is so worth living that he should fear dying? Despite that, his fist shakes as he raises it toward the door. He grits his teeth so hard he feels like they’ll crack under the pressure. He lowers his hand, cursing himself for his cowardice.

The door opens anyway and he flinches before looking up. Before him is a woman around his age with short hair, carrying a toddler. The toddler is crying loudly and the mother looks very disheveled. Not as much as him, but still enough for it to be noticeable.

“Please! Come in!” She sounds friendly despite her clear exhaustion.

He doesn’t know what would’ve happened to him if he didn’t find her and Mihee that day. She insisted on the low price to stay there. If only she knew who she was being so gracious to.

Heejin stumbles across a small container of ice cream and scoffs. She presents it to him, her cocked eyebrow suggesting she already has an idea why it’s there, but is still asking for an explanation. Only the beginning of a sound leaves Jisung before he’s huffing through his nose in defeat. 

“Could you give it to her? I don’t know… like if she does something good? Say it was a surprise from you.” Jisung supplies to a disinterested Heejin. 

“You’re just like my mother! What’s the point of being firm and putting my foot down if all she learns is to ask the right person?!” Heejin rants, exasperated as she tosses the ice cream back into the bag.

“I know, you’re right. I just couldn’t help it. You can have it. Eat it after she falls asleep or something.” Jisung falls even deeper into defeat as he sighs and closes his eyes. Heejin examines him quietly.

“No.” Jisung opens his eyes for clarification, only to be met with Heejin’s annoyed exhaustion. “You’re going to give it to her after she follows my instructions without talking back. You’re going to tell her that’s why she can have it, and to not ask for things I’ve already said no to anymore.” Heejin reaches for the ice cream again and shoves it into Jisung’s chest. He clutches it as she continues. 

“Maybe she’ll listen if you say it.” Judging by the look on her face, she means exactly what’s implied. Jisung’s brain churns with turmoil. That little girl shouldn’t get used to trusting someone like him. He’s trying his best to minimize his interactions with her but it’s impossible. 

“That is a good idea actually. You’re so good at stuff like that.” Jisung says sheepishly. 

“And maybe this way you can practice interacting with her without treating her like an active grenade.”

Her words shock a strangled noise out of Jisung. “Like a what?!”

“Don’t play dumb with me. Every time she hugs you your arms hover in the air like a confused bird. And don’t even get me started on the way you talk to her. Kids are easy to talk to if you try.” The more Jisung stammers defensively the more potent her knowing look gets.

“Fine,” Jisung huffs, “ but it’s not easy. Maybe this stuff comes easily to people like you.”

“People like who? Parents? You know anyone can become a parent, right? You don’t magically become a child whisperer as soon as you become one. And please don’t tell me it’s because I’m a woman–”

“No!” Jisung protests loudly, slightly annoyed at her assumption. “It’s just… some people are born to help. Others are born to hurt.”

Heejin watches in awe as Jisung stews in palpable self disgust.

“Do you think I assume Mihee teleports into her bed after we doze off on the couch?” Is what Heejin settles on to summarize her thoughts. She doesn’t even let him respond, just leaving him to put the rest of the groceries away like she knows he wants her to.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Book club, pilates, mani/pedis, brunch. These are things you only heard of people doing. Mostly from girls in school and after school who would give you a dirty look if you showed interest. Now you were doing all of it with girls who looked just like them. They didn’t even have to tell you about their extensive morning and night routines. You don’t get skin and hair that flawless without hard work. 

“How about you?” Hyunjin says after calling your name. While you were admiring their perfect grooming they must have been talking about their personal lives again. You guess that because they’ve been trying to get you to open up about yours. Not many people move here without having family here or leaving soon after. It’s only natural that they’re curious. 

“What about me?” You frame it as you being humble, as if there’s nothing much to say. Meanwhile you actually didn’t hear her. 

“Oh come on. There has to be some interesting story there.” Hyunjin urges, playfully suspicious of your mysterious backstory. You wonder for a moment if you should tell them your current house is one you fantasized about moving to with your ex. That would give them something juicy to chew on for months. But then you’d be framing yourself as a heartbroken damsel, not a homewrecking monster. And you’re definitely not ready to tell the truth.

“I always thought Jeju was beautiful, and I couldn’t pass up such a beautiful home.” You explain, the girls nodding in agreement. Especially Gowon, and you know exactly what she’s going to say. 

“I’m just saying! Let me know if you ever decide to sell that puppy.” She raises her eyebrows at you as if she’s tempting you. She is. You give her a smile, hoping it comes across that you’re considering it. You’ve never been to a country club so you take the time to look around. The architecture is beautiful, you expect nothing less for such an affluent part of town. The warm browns of the wooden floors and paneled ceiling as well as the beige walls give it a very cozy feeling. The slant to the ceiling, however, gives it a modern edge. Being this far up, the windows offer a gorgeous view of the skyline and the ocean.

The country club isn't the only mainstay of the group. Hyunjin’s house was as well. You were well acquainted with her son, Seojun. He was a fresh toddler, exemplified by the turbulent wobble in his stride. Her husband, Jeongin, is someone you’re not as acquainted with. He seemed charismatic and has great bone structure. You could tell immediately that Hyunjin was in good hands. Initially, that is.

Hyunjin’s long hair tucked back by a thick, white headband with the exception of her straight across bangs exemplified her preppy look. It’s why you thought the two paired perfectly together. Jeongin is one sweater tied around his shoulders away from looking like a stereotypical man from the 50s. His perfectly styled hair made him resemble Ken, a perfect to match for his Barbie. This is the exact thought process when he stepped into the kitchen where you were straggling behind, cleaning your glass. You smile at him, it comes naturally as his uncanny resemblance to the doll amuses you. 

“What brings you to this town?” He asks, seemingly bewildered by your choice. You sigh, almost complaining about answering this question so many times, but the smile still on your face doesn’t lie. This is the least problematic problem to have. 

“It’s a beautiful place, isn’t it?” You remark wistfully. Jeongin agrees, exaggerating each step he takes closer to you. 

“It’s a pretty empty place. You get to know everyone, settle down, and then boom!” You nearly drop your glass upon discovering he’s right next to you. So close he’s pressing against you. “Someone drop-dead-gorgeous moves to town.” He looks at you pointedly, his eyes dipping lower causing you to actually drop the glass, the pieces flying all over the sink basin.

“Woah! Be careful doll.” He reaches for your hand but you jerk it away. He looks at you, offended. You return the look right back. 

“What did you say?” You mean the question literally, to double check what you heard, and as a way to encourage some critical thinking. You barely know this man. Hyunjin was one of the first genuine friends you met here who pulled you out of your rut. 

“Geez. Don’t be so serious. I was just kidding!” He throws his hands up, surrendering from your grilling. Kahei rushes in and he flees just as fast.

“Are you okay?” She looks over the sink and then at your hands that are shaking. You nod dumbly. “Are you okay?” She asks again, skeptical of your previous answer.

“Jeongin just flirted with me.” You find the words flying from you before you can control it, disbelief coating them. Kahei looks at you sympathetically before rubbing your back. 

“Yeah… you just gotta ignore him when he does that.”

You look up at Kahei, not sure whether the shock, confusion, or indignation was showing on your face. So many emotions and thoughts flow through you that end up voicing one aloud. 

“A-are you guys sleeping with him?”

Kahei backs up from you, her looking affronted this time. “Excuse me?!”

“I-I’m sorry! That came out wrong, I didn’t–”

“If anyone did that, or does that in the future,” the pointed look she gives you feels like a searing hot iron branding your flesh, “they should be ashamed of themselves.” Her voice laps at you as she shoots you a sharp glare. She leaves shortly after, leaving you to grapple alone. As you walk out of the kitchen, completely forgetting about the shards of glass you left in the sink, everything around you is muffled and blurry. Hyunjin asks you something but your eyes are trained on the ground. What have you done?

Hyunjin shouts your name and jolts you to reality against your will. You look at all the married women before you. All married except you. You look at Kahei who is still staring daggers into you. If she told Hyunjin, that would be it. You’re the only bachelorette there and Kahei is her best friend of many years. Of course she’d see you as the scheming harlot there to steal all their husbands. The worst part was that you had to seriously consider if you did flirt back. You know deep down that you didn’t, but you keep replaying the interaction to see if maybe you made a face and led him on.

“I-I have to go.” You gather your things as the girls protest. As soon as you breach the doorway, tears pour down your face. You cover your mouth to contain the sob that spills from you. You walk as far as you can but barely make it to the bus stop before you fully break down. You turn away from the onlookers as the sobs rattle you. Of course this didn’t work out. Why would it?

The girls message you in the group chat and privately as an attempt to get through. You don’t even get your hopes up. They probably just miss gathering at your beautiful home. They can have it. You can’t take it anymore. You text Gowon and let her know you’re accepting her offer.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Other than smelling like the sea and his hands being numb from the cold, Jisung can’t complain about being a fisherman. He could focus on his thoughts since his coworkers didn’t speak to him much. Everyone just minded their own business and got the job done. Jisung pulls the buoy line up from the water, coiling the line right by his feet. His supervisor gives him a pat on his shoulder, signaling that this is the last thing he needs to do before he clocks out. Jisung just nods, appreciative that no one tries to yell over the noise of the wind and the boat. They just communicate with gestures and nods. 

As soon as Jisung walks through the door he’s only thinking of a hot shower.

“Ji-Ji!” 

But immediately upon hearing Mihee’s voice, his stress alleviates slightly. He gives her a soft smile, dropping it when she runs up for a hug. He stops her with a cautionary “woah”.

“S-sorry Mihee. Ji-Ji stinks.” He defaults back to that stupid awkward laugh. She frowns and walks back to where her mother emerges. 

“Still.” She doesn’t even frame it as a question, knowing the answer from his bird arms. He hurriedly drops them once he realizes. She shrugs.

“You’ll get there.”

“You don’t know that.” Jisung corrects immediately. “You don’t know me.” His words offer a challenge. In a few seconds, Jisung can make her regret putting faith in him. Possibly regret ever letting him into her house. Jisung attempts to swallow the lump that forms in his throat.

Heejin picks up on that same look from when they were putting away groceries. She breathes a laugh. “Unless you’re some sort of axe murderer or child predator, I promise you I’m not worried about you being around Mihee.”

The confidence in her voice unnerves him. The back of his mind screams at him to tell her because she deserves to know. 

“I cheated on my… ex-fiancee multiple times with the same woman. I even got off on the fact that it would crush her if she found out. I urged her to go on a trip with her friends when she just wanted to stay with me, all so I could invite over the other woman. She even called me during the trip because she missed me so much but I told her to stay. While I was inside someone else for a whole month she thought I was looking out for her wellbeing, I was actively destroying it for pleasure. The kicker is that she wasn’t even my fiancee yet. I let her propose to me, plan the wedding, fantasize about our future, and even walk down the aisle while I was thinking of the very same woman I moved to Jeju for.” Jisung pours his heart as if he was begging Heejin to vilify him. His eyes are pleading her, but not the same way his words do. He can tell that he’s letting it bleed through that he doesn’t want what he’s asking for. He shakes it away and continues.

“Jisung.”

“I left her at the altar. I embarrassed her in front of both our families on a day that was supposed to be the best day of her life. I just disappeared.”

“Jisung–”

“She screamed out for me–”

“Jisung!” Heejin snaps insistently, finally stopping his never-ending confessional. She huffs, seeming to prepare herself for something.

“You know, I gave birth to Mihee after finally breaking up with my husband. We fought all the time during my pregnancy, to the point where I thought the stress might harm Mihee. You can’t really blame my ex, though. He had sustained an injury from his job and his doctor suggested he abstain from any strenuous activity. It was so serious he wasn’t allowed to have sex for months.” She stresses the word as if to mock her younger, impatient self. It dawns on Jisung slowly but surely. His eyes don’t widen because he’s shocked by what she did, but that she did them.

“You could understand his anger now when he realized he wasn’t seeing things and there was– in fact– a baby bump protruding from his loving wife. Even worse is when she tried to gaslight him. Telling him she was just bloated and was seeing a doctor about it. Then the bump got larger, and he saw a tiny foot distend the skin of her stomach. I think what baffles me the most looking back was that I was so angry at him. So angry that I fought him in court for custody of the baby I wasn’t even sure I wanted. Well I won that fight thanks to the prejudice of the judge. He gave me a stern look and lectured me like he was my father, saying that now I had to stop screwing around and live the destined life of a woman. The entire trial my lawyer and the judge boasted about how amazing it would be for a child to have a parent who had a natural impulse to nurture. But I didn’t. My ex knew that, which is why he fought. After the verdict I didn’t hear from him for a few days. I was panicking every time Mihee cried, wondering why the nurturing instinct I was supposed to have wasn’t kicking in. Then he called me and I was so relieved, ready to do whatever it took to get rid of Mihee. But he absolutely let me have it. Said he was an idiot for trying to remain tethered to me in any way, that losing custody was like dodging a bullet. There was genuine relief and joy in his voice.” Heejin reminisces sarcastically, topping it off with a theatrical, wistful sigh. She gives him an emphatic look, like she was encouraging him to continue his confessions. Jisung looks lost and confused. 

“Heejin… you’re a great mother…” He says as if trying to rationalize what he just heard.

“Exactly!” She says excitedly, pointing at him. Jisung shakes his head as her point fails to compute. “I didn’t even know what to do after that. I was heartbroken, because despite my poor decisions and us getting married at eighteen like so many idiots from our hometown, I did love him. The guilt was strong. So strong that I couldn’t tell if the depression was from postpartum or the guilt. Then Mihee cried again one night and it just… clicked. I can’t do right by my ex-husband, but I could do right by her.” The hidden bitterness and pain finally surface as her lip quivers. She shakes her head and looks at the floor. She laughs before looking up again, a tear slipping from her eye. 

“Thanks a lot, Jisung.” She says playfully, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

“I-I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry. Hug my daughter back, asshole.” She slaps the back of his head before retreating into her daughter’s room. Jisung stares at the closed door with the most pitiful feeling of hope curdling in his stomach.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Kahei Hey.

Kahei We’re going to meet at the country club cafe. We were hoping you would come.

They must really like this house, you think, laughing derisively at your own joke. You chew on your lip after the humor of your distraction dries up. Did they tell Hyunjin? Is this some sort of intervention or group confrontation? You want to employ the healthy thought exercises you’ve learned but you keep replaying that moment after you walked out of the kitchen. The face that Kahei made inspired no confidence that you were going to be forgiven. You want to just sell the house to Gowon privately and high tail it out of there. You weren’t sure where you were going to go yet but you had to go somewhere.

You release a lengthy sigh, knowing where you needed to go.

“I think selling the house is a good idea.” Sooyoung informs you, her voice plain like it always is. Nothing for you to cling onto or stretch out of proportion. 

“Really?” 

Sooyoung lets a little amusement at your shock slip but nods through it. “I’d say you’ve been there long enough to know whether or not it’s a net positive or net negative. If it’s pulling you down, cut it off. Makes sense, right?”

“Yeah.” You’re surprised by how simple that was. “Huh.” You express, slightly satisfied. Slightly.

“So. Is there anything else you wanted to chat about today?” Now is when Sooyoung hints at an ulterior motive. You guys have been talking for long enough that she knows when you’re hiding something and that she can safely call you out on it. You could play stupid or delay your response, but that’s only drawing out the inevitable. You’re paying to be here, dammit. You grit and bear it, catching Sooyoung up with your split from the group.

“Did you flirt with Jeongin?” Sooyoung says the quiet part out loud and it catches you off guard. There’s an attentive look in her eyes that illustrates clearly that you have nothing to be worried about. The answer comes surprisingly easy despite the gargantuan unease tearing your stomach apart. 

“No, but–”

“Then you didn’t do it.” Sooyoung interrupts you for the first time in any of your meetings. She releases a hefty breath in relief before continuing. “I’m sorry I sprung that question on you like that, but I had a good feeling you didn’t do it. I promise I wouldn’t have asked you that in an accusing way. But you see now why you shouldn’t be worried.”

“I… I’m just– I feel sorry for Hyunjin, okay?!” You stress not only to her but to people not present in the room. 

“That’s very clear in my eyes. You may not have told Hyunjin what was going on, but you didn’t smile in her face knowing what was happening behind the scenes. If you have any fears that you’re walking into a confrontation of any sort, don’t. You should be the only person entering that cafe without a guilty conscience. And why is that?” This meeting with your psychologist turned into a pep talk suddenly. You feel slightly overwhelmed but you push through it.

“Because… I never deceived Hyunjin or purposely hid things from her.”

“That’s exactly right! You don’t need to go, especially if it will cause unnecessary stress and turmoil. But I think this is a good opportunity to stick up for yourself. And it may even be an opportunity to get your friend group back.”

You shoot her a confused look that makes her laugh.

“I don’t think it’s too late to mend things. If they’re really your friends, they’ll be able to handle you setting the record straight without getting offended. Plus, didn’t you say you enjoyed hanging out with them?”

“I really enjoyed it. It was like I was in a Hallmark movie.” You admit dreamily and partially in humiliation. Sooyoung laughs again and this time you join her. She stops for a moment and gives you a pointed, passionate look.

“You deserve happiness.”

That sentiment and the look in her eyes strikes something in you. You swallow hard, attempting to push down the large lump crawling up your throat. Your lips tremble and you look to the ground. You want to believe her. Every time you walk into this room, you want to believe her. You know it’s not going to be that easy, but damn it feels good to have someone rooting for you.

Through a tightened throat, you look up and thank Sooyoung.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

Jisung’s supervisor pats him on the shoulder as he pulls on his coverall over his clothes. He looks over at him for clarity on the strangely-timed gesture. His supervisor clears his throat but it’s still gravelly beyond belief.

“We’ll be headed over to a well-off area to fulfill a large order today. The people there are spooked easily, so the customer warned us to not trail off too far if we dock.” He pats Jisung again as if to punctuate his sentence. Jisung nods as if he wasn’t already staring at the older man’s back. Jisung had forgotten what he said as fast as he said it. He doesn’t wander far from the harbor anyway.

As Jisung casts the buoy line, he looks out at the view. He can already tell they’ve arrived by the architecture and tourist-friendly attractions. Namely the pleasantly designed walls to welcome incoming boats. He has to guess what each cute little shop and building is, being this far away. Eventually they sail toward a residential area. His hands freeze and loosen on the rope, causing a chunk of it to zip straight into the water. Someone yelling his name only slightly alerts him. He drops the rope and they continue to yell. The crashing waves drown them out and alert Jisung to how bad his idea is. 

Jisung looks from the water to the houses again and spots it. The rock pattern around the edge of the property is identical. The dark wood and gray bricks, the distant twinkle of fairy lights, how it looks in the snow. In a split second he goes from stepping up onto the bow of the boat to hitting the ice cold water. His body immediately tenses up from the cold but he pushes through it. His hands slice through the turbulent water as he swims like his life depends on it. Halfway there, the majority of his body is numb to the point that he can only tell his body is following his brain’s command to swim because he can see himself closing in.

He reaches for a pile of rocks leading up to the edge of your house and clenches onto one. Feeling nothing from the numbness, he slips off from it. He tries again, gritting and yelling as he pushes through the pain. He clenches onto each rock as he painfully pulls his body up. By the time his hand slaps down on the wall surrounding your yard his fingers feel like they will pop off. He eventually drapes himself over the wall, falling over onto your snow-covered grass. He grunts desperately as he pulls himself up, shambling toward the house. He walks past the window, the one he saw so vividly in his dream. He sees the fireplace that matches the listing and his dream. He stares at it as his body feels like it’s chilling to rigidity. He finally pulls himself away at no sign of you. He knocks on the door, each strike feeling like it’s crushing his bones. He doesn’t know if he’s crying from the excruciating pain or from the anticipation of finally seeing you but it pours out of him. He sobs until drool drips from his numb lips.

A woman with large eyes opens the door before hiding behind her husband.

“Hey pal, what’re you doing here?!” The man booms. Jisung’s brain pounds behind his skull and his heartbeat slows. His head lolls over his shoulders and his eyes flutter close just before the world tilts.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

“Mr. Han? Can you hear me, Mr. Han?”

Oh no… he’s having a nightmare. But why about this? The last thing he needs is to be back here. He hears a woman’s voice he expects to be Jiwoo panicking, but he doesn’t recognize it. Who the hell is that?

“Oh dear god. Is he going to die??” The woman asks urgently.

“No honey, they said he’ll be alright.”

Jisung blinks his eyes open, all of his senses overwhelmed by the sudden realization that he’s conscious. The relief he feels that he’s not stuck in a nightmare is brief. The bright lights above him and the feeling of the stiff mattress beneath him brings back all the emotions from being hospitalized for his concussion.

“Where are my things?” Jisung asks weakly.

“Thank god!” He looks over to see the large-eyed woman from the house sighing in relief. The house he thought was yours. He really did move here for no reason…

“They’re here in this bag, but I highly recommend you stay for another day–”

Jisung swipes the bag from the doctor’s hand and leaps from the bed. From the taxi ride home to the freezing walk up to his apartment, many people try to get his attention. The driver asks him if he’s okay, passersby ask if they should call for help, the burly man at the front desk of the complex hurls many bewildered questions at him. They all watch him walk by emotionlessly, bare feet padding on the snow, concrete, dirty carpet. When the elevator dings looks out into the empty hallway with beads of tears hanging over his bottom lids. He pads out onto the poorly adhered sheet of matted carpet down to his apartment. 

Heejin hears the door open and Mihee yell “Ji-Ji!” so she doesn’t feel the need to turn away from the stove.

“Hey Jisung, could you do me a big favor and help me clean the kitchen after this? Dinner’s almost ready.” She carefully starts to roll the egg. Jisung hasn’t answered but she needs complete concentration to do this.

“I know you’ll offer to do the whole thing yourself but…” She laughs, her smile fading slightly once she realizes Mihee is quiet as well. She swiftly kills the fire and flips around. The scene she witnesses makes her cover her mouth. Mihee nuzzles into Jisung’s shoulder as he holds her even tighter in his arms. Her tiny legs wrap around him as best as they can. They both soak up the long awaited hug in silence.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

“I did all of this to myself.” Jisung admits weakly after explaining everything (including why he’s in a hospital gown) to Heejin. They both slouch on the couch, full from the food and exhausted from the day. Heejin looks over at him, the beer in his hand mirroring hers.

“So then it’ll be all the more satisfying when you fix it yourself.” She offers.

“Fix it how.” He laughs derisively. “In an attempt to lessen my ex’s pain, I probably tripled it. And the person I hurt her for is nowhere to be found.” He states the obvious in hopes she will understand his predicament.

“Are those the only aspects to your life?” Heejin asks carefully. “You’re suspended, but you said you liked your job, right?”

Jisung groans, very aware of where this is going.

“And you care about Mihee.” She adds with a more serious tone to her voice. “And she really loves you. You better not let down my baby girl.” She scolds. Jisung nods obediently, knowing she’s not joking at all. She sighs and rests her head on the back of the couch. 

“It takes time. It’s going to be lonely. It’s been three years since Mihee was born and I've only just made friends. Speaking of which, you should come with me.” She looks over at him, pleading with him to hear her out despite the look on his face.

“Some of them are young mothers just like me, which is exciting!”

“And why you should go alone. I’ll look after Mihee here.” Jisung brushes her off.

“No! They invited me to this crazy nice place, you might love it! There will be other things to do there and we’ll get in for free!”

Jisung groans and melts back onto the couch.

“When is it.” He asks regrettably, making Heejin squeal.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

You readjust your bag and coat for the eightieth time outside the doors. You have to go in there like you mean business. Express that you don’t take back what you did, but you really would like to be friends again if they’re up to it. You sigh through your peaking anxiety. How the fuck were you going to balance that tone? You’re not a politician. You inhale sharply before pushing the doors open.

“Over here!” Kahei immediately yells for you. You look over to see her beckoning you over and the other girls waving. You walk over to get a closer look and to confirm what you initially observed. Hyunjin is nowhere to be seen.

“What…” All of the worst case scenarios swirl through your mind as you look between them. Should you even be here?

“Please, sit.” Kahei asks tenderly. The slightly melancholic air to the room suddenly makes your stomach drop. You sit nonetheless, because the unknown is frustrating. 

“Hyunjin hasn’t officially left the friend group, let’s just get that out of the way.” Gowon points out with both her hands lowered to the table. Kahei confirms before looking back to you. She says your name empathetically before laying her hand over yours. You feel like throwing up. 

“We all told Hyunjin about Jeongin,” Kahei starts and you swear the room is turning slightly, “that he flirted with all of us. We should’ve done this a long time ago. It is truly shameful that it took someone who hasn’t even known Hyunjin that long for us to realize how wrong we were. That shows just how much you care, and Hyunjin wanted us to thank you for her.”

You untense your shoulder and finally fully settle into your chair. “So, she’s just taking a break, or–” You ask as you look between them.

“Yes.” Gowon interjects. “And rightfully so, she’s probably processing a lot right now.” The others nod. You start nodding too, failing to stop the tears from streaming down your cheeks.

“She is. She really is.” You blubber through your tears. The girls coo, standing to come over and wrap their arms around you. You hide your face, correctly anticipating that your cries were about to get ugly. Their embraces feel so healing, though. Each pat and rub to your back and arms soothes you. You recover as quickly as you can, grabbing a napkin from the dispenser on the table and dabbing away your tears. You sniffle, looking at all of them gratefully. The overwhelming urge to apologize is consuming you but you fight it.

“I’m really happy to be back.” You beam.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

“I guess it does look nice.” Jisung admits with a small smile. Heejin says a small “See?” before entering the building. He doesn’t even notice her and Mihee being long gone as he takes in the huge building. Once he does he gasps and scrambles to follow them. He looks around at the architecture. The slanted ceiling is a really cool addition, he thinks. He hears someone call out Heejin’s name and his attention lags behind again. A cafe in a country club… Heejin just made some rich friends it seems. He looks over finally at said rich friends.

Jisung can faintly hear one of them tell Heejin that she’s right on time. Each of them take turns shaking her hand and greeting her. Including a hallucination. She looks like you, she sounds like you, she gives a name that matches yours. She’s looking at him. You’re approaching him. He panics and runs back out of the doors. He breathes heavily, trying to stop his heart from exploding. He rests his hands over it as his breaths become louder, until they transition into soft cries. 

“Jisung?!” You say, moving closer to him. He looks up at you with intense, watery eyes and you back up suddenly.”J-Jisung, are you okay?” You ask with a heaviness he can’t quite grasp. You look like you’ll cry with him. Through your anguished joy at seeing him, you look great. You look healthy, well dressed and groomed. You’ve been here for less time than Heejin but you’re already shacked up with a group of rich friends. You’re thriving.

“I-I don’t even know where to start…” You say, confused at his intense stare. Jisung does.

“Were you in Incheon?” He hisses, straightening up to look you in the eyes. You’re shocked by the accusation laced within his words.

“Minho was in jail and I felt responsible. He did this because of me, I had to apologize–”

“I was the victim!” Jisung shouts against his better judgment. Hurt flashes on your face split second but he can’t stop. So many thoughts flip through his brain and he doesn’t think through any one of them. Your confusion doubles by this point.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t–”

“I got a concussion and hypothermia– f-fuck I’ve lost my goddamn mind looking for you!” He explains, desperate, angry, and crazed. Sadness overtakes him as he continues. “But none of that is even close to the emotional turmoil I went through without you. I know you don’t care about me– your own words– but do you not care about what you did to Minho?” He asks moronically. The words leave him and he immediately wants to apologize and beg for your forgiveness. But that want is far too distant. His anger is so close.

“Excuse me?!” You finally match his volume.

“If you did and it was still tearing you up, did you go and solve it on your own? With some other asshole while I suffered alone? You were the only thing that kept me sane and you left! You knew me and Jiwoo weren’t going to work out, why… why didn’t you wait?!” He pleads, flinching at the quick laugh you let out. A glossy sheen slowly envelops your eyes as you shake your head at him.

“Wait for what, Jisung?”

“Don’t act like you don’t remember.” Jisung closes in on you, lowering his volume but not his intensity. “We were the only ones who understood each other. The only people we could turn to and you–”

“It’s time to move past that, Jisung.”

Your unexpected answer, delivered in a delicate whisper, stomped out all the drive and anger he had. “Wh-what–”

“We’ve paid for what we did. It’s evident by all the burnt bridges from our past. Why we’re both here, miles away. I can’t keep relying on excuses for my behavior.” The twinkle of pain in his eyes softens you. For the first time in two years, you see Jisung. You can’t help reaching up and cupping both his cheeks. He huffs, more tears pouring from his eyes.

“I have to grow, Jisung.” 

He clenches his eyes shut, crying harder. “You can grow too–”

Jisung shakes his face away and your heart falls. “That’s easy for you to say. Your life is all sunshine and rainbows.” He replies bitterly. You scoff at his incorrect assumption.

“The whole reason I’m here is because I almost did something stupid that landed me in a psych ward. D’you really think I wasn’t suffering, too?” You ask as you drop your hands from his face. “When I first got here, I couldn’t get through an entire day without breaking down. I couldn’t even turn to mindless sex because I was scared. And I only wanted you.” You look down, ashamed at your admission. 

“I felt like– I still feel like I’m not a functional human and that everywhere I go I ruin lives. I feel that way because of you, Jisung.” 

Jisung takes the opportunity to be affronted by an accusation now. “Because of me?!”

“Yes!” You reply incredulously before laughing bitterly. “I’ve been abandoned my whole life. Either because someone dies or I push them away. I almost prefer that my parents died, because at least then I wouldn’t have to live with them choosing not to be in my life because I was a sad excuse of a person. I kept pushing Minho, testing him to see if he’d leave. And when he did… I thought for a moment things could be okay. Why?” Jisung realizes before you say it, closing his eyes regrettably. 

“Because I had you!” You shout. You laugh pathetically at your next thought. “I thought maybe witnessing the worst moment of my life would make you realize how much I needed you. And then you would smile on the phone while your girlfriend gushes about how excited she was to come home and be with you again.”

Jisung wanted to protest, wanted to tell you that he still cared about you and wanted to see you. But looking at the hurt in your eyes flashed him back to the day you walked out. The way he couldn’t find an answer when you asked him what he would do if Jiwoo put two and two together. The answer wasn’t obvious at that moment, but he knew the moment Jiwoo proposed that the answer was run to you.

“So if anyone should be grilling the other about being abandoned, it should be me.” You say, looking exhausted. Jisung feels utterly horrible. He finally finds you and this is what he does to you? You sniffle, wiping your eyes.

“But Jisung, I’m past that. I’m still fighting my demons but I won’t let them take control this time.” Your smile is a thin veil over your pain. 

“Do you want to get coffee?”

You both agree that you want to speak to each other alone, so you’re both nursing paper cups of instant coffee back at your motel.

“So you were living in that house?”

“The one I showed you?” You ask and he nods. You look around before nodding back. Jisung sighs, wondering if he should tell you just how he got hypothermia.

“Did you like it?” He asks, keeping his eyes on you.

“No.” You admit, solemnly shaking your head. “It turned out to be a bad choice.” 

“Seems like we’ve both got plenty of those to go around.” You both laugh at yourselves. As you settle into a brief silence, you remember what you saw posted to Jiwoo’s Facebook page last year.

“It seems like a lot of people were angry at you on Jiwoo’s page.” You bring up hesitantly. Jisung groans.

“Please. I do not want to talk about that.” Jisung strains. You look over at him and he dodges your gaze. You rest a hand on his knee.

“As soon as I saw you standing in the cafe, I wanted to crumble and just melt into your arms. Tell you all my shameless thoughts no one else would be willing to hear. Like the fact that my friend’s husband who made a move on me was objectively attractive and charming. And the fact that you wouldn’t even flinch would be comforting. But I don’t need my psychologist any more to tell me that that’s not healthy.” 

He finally meets your eyes. Hesitantly, but he still does it. His heart grows heavier as he finally realizes that Minho was right. He did ruin you. You made each other complacent. After Heejin confided in him, he wondered if the right thing to do then was to marry Jiwoo. That didn’t feel like the answer and he knows now that it wasn’t. It was for you both to do right by each other. The consequences of each other’s actions.

“I regret it.” Jisung starts. “Every single day the look on her face haunts me. If I wasn't a monster before, I was definitely a monster for leaving her at the altar.”

“Honestly I was shocked to learn that’s what you did. You’re right, I didn’t think you guys would work, but I thought maybe you’d get divorced after years of an unhappy marriage.” You reflect thoughtfully despite your harsh words. 

“That’s precisely what I was trying to avoid.” Jisung side eyes you playfully. 

“I mean, it’s good you cut it off before that, but you could’ve done it any other way. And maybe a liiiiittle sooner.”

“When? The night you left?” He inquires genuinely after brief amusement.

“Maybe not. Mostly because I think you should’ve done it out of respect for her and not to pursue me.” You note as you stare into your coffee. “But also because I feel like we needed the journey it took to get here.”

Jisung snorts. “I beg to differ. But I get what you mean.” You both chuckle lightly. “What um… what did you say to Minho when you visited him?” He asks, silently wondering just how reconciled you two are.

“I told him he was allowed to hate me but he shouldn’t hate himself.”

“It sounds like you guys wrapped that up neatly.” Jisung deduces while nodding his head.

“Now I would beg to differ.” You start, amused, “He was in jail. The worst part is that he exhibited signs that he would become violent on my behalf and I ignored them.”

“Has he assaulted someone before?” Jisung asks in disbelief. You nod slowly, finally deciding to take a sip of your coffee. You grimace at the bitter taste.

“His best friend.” You smack your lips before looking over at Jisung who is wincing. He makes a long hissing noise that feels like rubbing salt in the wound. However, after a little time, you feel lighter somehow. Acknowledging it won’t make it disappear, but nothing will. You take another sip.

“Is that your girlfriend? …Your kid?” It’s your turn to be nosy. You peek over at him and he laughs. 

“No, I haven’t been here for three years.” He stops laughing as he realizes the other component of that question. “And no. I don’t have a girlfriend.” He states, suddenly nervous as your eyes meet. 

“Are you? In a relationship?” Jisung sips his coffee before you stand up with a smile. You grab his cup to join yours, setting both on the tv stand. You sit back on the bed, closer this time. You grab the hand nearest to yours, slotting your fingers under his palm. 

“No.” You reply softly. He slides his hand to wrap his fingers around your thumb. You wrap yours over the back of his hand.

“If we’re going to do this…” He starts and you feel yourself getting excited. Your eyes flicker down to his lips, realizing you’ve been wanting to kiss him since you entered the motel. “Taking care of each other…” He clarifies. You say a soft “Oh” in realization before squeezing his hand. 

“We should be upfront with each other. What do we want? I’ll go first, I want to take things slow.” He says and you deflate a little. “How about you?”

“Um, right now?” You don’t notice that you’re bouncing your leg until he laughs at you and places his other hand on it.

“No, going forward.”

“Oh! Well… honestly as long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter.” You answer honestly though impatiently. 

“Yeah?” He confirms quietly and you nod. “And right now?” His voice is hushed, dropping in pitch suddenly. Your eyes lower to his lips and his tongue peeks out between them. You give into the urge, leaning in before he makes an admonishing noise. He lets go of your hand to hold you by your shoulders. 

“No?” You say in the most heartbreaking disappointed voice. He laughs again, he can’t help it. He bites his lip before speaking.

“Lay down.”

You excitedly lay back onto the bed, awaiting further instruction. He slowly moves to your side, his cold hand sliding under your shirt and cardigan. You gasp in surprise, closing your eyes. 

“What about this is taking it slow?” He tsks, moving his hand back down and reversing his progress toward your breasts. You whimper, his hands on your skin igniting a feeling you haven’t felt in ages. His hand keeps moving until it breaches the band of your pants. You gasp excitedly as he dips a finger between your folds. 

“Oh my god…” He remarks his shock. His finger sinks deeper into the sea of your arousal. He removes his hand and quickly moves it to his lips. He savors the taste, his eyes fluttering shut. You hum a turbulent moan, clenches your thighs tight. He moves back to your legs, situating in between them before baring your lower half. He discards the garments carelessly in favor of your exposed core. He plants a kiss or two, however many it took before you started to groan in frustration. 

He suckles at your folds, encouraging your clit out. Once it’s free he wraps his lips around it. His lips smack wetly before releasing. He licks up your folds, gathering the bud back into his mouth. The friction he provides with his wet tongue and mouth has you lifting from the bed. You grunt at the tight tugging sensation in your stomach. Jisung switches to a rapid flicking of his tongue that sends you falling back to the bed. You suppress your writhing, feeling a strong fear of disrupting the pleasure. Your repeat short, gasped moans as you watch him.

His hunger grows as he guides you to your high. He slurps at your clit until you’re mewling a warning. You finally let yourself writhe as your first orgasm dawns on you.

“F-fuck I need to fuck you.” Jisung growls against your mound.

Jisung shoves his jeans and underwear down, his cock flopping upon being freed. He grabs the underside of your thighs and pushes your legs back before moving to your arms. He slowly urges them over your head as he heaves above you. “‘m gonna fill you up.” He breaths, his eyes tracing absent-mindedly over your features. You hum pleasantly at the action. 

He slides his legs forward and his tip hits your mound. You jolt in surprise and excitement. Jisung mirrors your drunken smile as he slides in. Your smile fades as your jaw drops open. 

“It’s been so long–” You sob, your legs dropping over his shoulders. “N-need it…”

Pleased, Jisung hums and grabs your hips. He starts slow and shallow, testing the waters, remembering how good you feel. You’re flooding around him, squeezing every time he breaches into new depths. Upon bottoming out your head drops to the bed, your hands splaying out against the headboard. You choke out a moan that sounds like it’s being forced from you.

“God, fuck!”

He finally starts smacking his hips toward you and you frantically cheer him on with crazed chanted yes’s. Jolts of electricity run up from his abdomen to his throat and out his mouth through an urgent groan. He leans down over you, his breath hitting your face before he kisses you. You can feel how hungry he is, not aware that you’re returning the same amount of hunger.

He pulls out and sinks back between your legs before you can process what had happened. He immediately starts lapping at your hardened clit like a madman. Your anguished moan is cut off as he eases three fingers into you. He sounds and feels desperate. His movements are frantic and he can’t stop moaning and humming against you. His saliva mixed with your arousal drips down to your asshole in a thick glob. Not that you can dwell on it much. Not when his tongue is moving so quickly and expertly against you. You can’t help thanking any high power that would listen that you decided to hear the girls out today. He thrusts his fingers inside you faster as he switches to sucking your clit with an obscenely loud noise. He uses his tongue to rub long strokes against your clit. 

You reach down and tug at his hair so hard you think you’ll rip some of it out. You’re both whimpering like puppies in heat. The entire bottom half of his face is practically submerged into your mound. You buck up into him as another orgasm rattles you. You release his hair to fist the comforter with a deep groan.

Jisung crawls back up to position his cock at your entrance. He kneels right over your hips, making it so he can drop his cock inside you with lethal force. He starts with an accelerated speed that has you squealing desperate pleas. His balls slap at your asshole, making the already lewd sound of your wetness even more disgusting. You both sound like crazed animals as you claw and grab at each other. One of his hands haphazardly grasps at your breast to anchor himself. 

A sudden wave of euphoria overcomes you as you recognize his telltale signs he’s close to cumming. He seems to notice something too, reaching down to wrap both his hands around your throat. As he squeezes you rocketed to your orgasm, your cunt spasming around his throbbing cock. He pumps his cum deep inside you, bottoming out two, three, four more times until he’s completely empty. 

It’s like a ray of sunshine cascades over the both of you as he pushes back inside and lays over you. He rolls you both onto your sides, pulling you close like he doesn’t plan on letting you leave.

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

As you observe Jisung across the room, you wonder silently if he knows he bites his knuckles when he’s nervous. He paces, visibly frustrated by the limitations of the small space. He flips and walks to the other wall, the phone in his hand now facing you. The dingy lights of the motel room fail to illuminate him as well as the sun that has long since set. Despite that, you still catch his eyes widening.

“H-hi! Um… is Jiwoo available?” After a very brief break, his knuckles are brought back up to reckon with his teeth. “Right, I’m an… old friend. I moved away– alright! Thank you.” Jisung is excited before the anxiety takes back the reins. He switches to his cuticles, needing something to tear at. Your stomach is twisting for him. 

He glances over at you for the first time since he agreed to do this. The terrified look in his eye makes you want to snatch the phone away and hold him, but instead you give him an encouraging smile. You nod and he nods back. 

“Hello? Ah… yeah. This is Jisung.” He flinches at what you presume to be an increase in volume. “I-I know. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I am!” He responds desperately after a momentary pause. “But you don’t have to believe me. I was a coward… so I just wanted to do the right thing and give you closure.”

Jisung chews on his lip before his eyelids involuntarily close, almost like he was bracing himself for something and hated that he was. But as his mouth drops open and a look of hurt confusion twists his features. A tear rolls down Jisung’s cheek amidst the silence. 

“I am okay.” He assures her in slight disbelief only for him to laugh dryly seconds later. “That’s fair. I’d tell me to go fuck myself, too.”

Jisung shuffles and looks down at his feet. “And is he your boyfriend?”

You wince at how that sounds, only for Jisung to be immediately briefed on that fact. “N-no I didn’t mean it like that!” Jisung sighs, dropping his defensiveness. 

“You’re right. I was pretending to care about you. I was cruel.”

Jisung freezes suddenly, his face partially obstructed by shadow. “It was after we moved in together. I realized how different we were, but I wouldn’t let myself believe it. I wanted to change for you… or at least that’s what I told myself.” Jisung answers honestly despite sounding like he wants to do anything but. 

“I guess I thought being with you would make me less of an idiot. But me being an idiot was no excuse for what I did, Jiwoo. And I’m sorry.” He whispers as if he’s lost all his strength. It resurfaces momentarily as he tries to stop Jiwoo but then he takes the phone away from his ear.

After giving him some time, you turn to him. He faces vaguely in your direction, seeming ashamed of the tears threatening to spill. 

“Sh-she hung up–�� Jisung starts only to get choked up. His head droops and you push off of the bed. You hurry to him and wrap your arms around him. His cries are quiet, just brief heavy breaths here and there. You rub his back. A few minutes of rocking back and forth encourages him to break the silence.

“I don’t want to leave.” He states weakly. 

“You can sleep here tonight, but I agree about taking it slow.” You pull back to look into his saddened eyes. You cup his cheek and he’s finally able to indulge in the tender gesture. You smile.

“We have time.”

end of act iii

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