#she explained more but. you really dont need more.
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my mum asks me if its offensive if someone says a joke like "im a blank but identify as blank" im like "whats the context" "well, this guy who i knew from england posted on facebook--" "ITS OFFENSIVE!!!"
#she explained more but. you really dont need more.#the british on social media are like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you know uhhhhhhhhhh#anyway keep your parents off fb and twitter its getting bad out there
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Why the FUCK didn't Sasha apologize to Quinni.
#no im so pissed about that.#dude you don't give an autistic person a meltdown that big over something that hurtful#and just#walk away scot free#last time someone gave me a meltdown that hardcore I cut them off for a month.#that might just be the bpd tho#but still#quinni doesn't seem like the type to just. be chill without an apology and hearing sasha explain herself#and then she makes her her vice??????????#she already acknowledged sasha is only in it for the power trip#sasha didn't even do anything in the investigation she just followed quinni around#which as she should#but she hasn't made up for how she treated quinni AT ALL#in fact she's just gotten MORE of a performative activist#like why the fuck was she such a bitch to missy abt spider#i get it yea. ur friends sometimes have dogshit taste in men but you don't need to make them feel like trash abt it#and the way she was like 'he fetishizes u for being black omg its probably asian girls next omg i dont feel safe'#THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU????????.#also she 100% jumpstarted quinnis identity crisis#with how she was constantly switching between infantilizing her and undermining her autonomy over her own decisions#and treating doing things quinni wanted to do and the specific way she needed to do them as a chore#and then victimizing herself!!!!!!!#like from experience that relationship dynamic IS abusive to autistic people it just is#idk if nt people get it but it's really fucking awful to come from your partner#anyway. until sasha apologizes to both quinni and missy this will continue to be a sasha hate page.#heartbreak high#heartbreak high season 2#quinni gallagher jones#sasha so#missy beckett
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not-yet-dead-person
silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww
(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)
i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!
the head circles are there for emotional support
very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.
(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)
usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.
according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it
the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!
Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.
background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!
for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway
that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it
#re:kinder#fanart#sayaka re:kinder#rei re:kinder#OH I ALREADY RAMBLED IN MY POST WHATEVER SHOULD I TALK ABOUT NOW IN MY TAGS UEEEEEEE😭😭😭#oh yeah do you want to know a fun fact about this drawing#i started it yesterday. i wasnt meant to I DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION...FROM MYSELF... i was meant to be on break#i self imposed a one week break from doing any rekinder related project after the transcript to avoid accidental burn out#NOT THAT I GOT TIRED OF IT AFTER THAT TRANSCRIPT NOT AT ALL#but jumping straight into more hours of creativr work after over 30 hours of it is asking for disaster. it is asking for burn out#yesterday was the last day . 12 hours were left but i was going to die if i didnt draw anything it would have been OVER#(aka my period started recently so i got very gloomy and depressed so i needed to run to my favorite stress relief...drawing rekinder☺️)#(on that note seriously what the fuck please explain the evolutionary advantage to getting horribly depressed every month)#(like hello?!?! rant real quick— i get enough flashbacks everyday i DONT need them to last longer and have me more msierable ?!?!?)#(periods are so dangerous to my mental health for no reason can i get a restriction order on them or some shit what the fuck)#(anyway thats enough of that break of character DONEEEE :3333)#SO YEAH I DIDNT EVEN LAST 7 WHOLE DAYS i even played a new game in between those 6 days youd think itd het my mind of rekinder. WRONNNNGGG#not even another devastating rpg horror gamr could divert my attention for long i hsd to draw rekinder😊#using the newfound power of mt transcript i was decided on drawing rei because i dont draw her enough for how high she is on my fvaorites#i was initially doodling random lines but then i stumbled upon this interactkon and it doesnt really fit into my usual expression sheets#so i thought hey lets do it asife#i thumbnailrd it and from there i was like hey lets do it in comic format isntead of separated messy doodles in tint canvas#and the rest is hisotry .... aka i spent the last two days doing this instead of doing MY HOMEWORK!!!!!#on my defense when i wasnt drawing i was horribly depressed i had no other choice#(seriously fuck off periods WHAT what do you mean i need to be distracted 24/7 to not be struck by crippling meltdowns LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?)#(they should be banned we as a society should find like a . cure to them it dont do me good to have a whole week where i cant function)#these tags have been more of a weird rant im sorry IVE BEEN FEELING PEEEVEDDD LATELY SO YOU GET. STRANGE DROTTER LORE ????
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hm I know this seems like I'm just whining to whine and I understand that living with your parents throughout your childhood is the norm but I'm actually so tired of people asking "where are your parents/do you live with your parents/did you come with your parents?" when I meet people like if we are at a event where ppls families are in attendance why can't you just ask if anybody came with me instead of asking about my parents like not everybody has parents or lives with them etc I know it's just a little thing and I'm coming across as bitter and annoyed but I genuinely am, and then it gets even more annoying because then when you tell people you didn't come with your parents they want to know why and in my case I hate having to explain that I was in foster care because explaining something like that isn't something that can be summed up in a sentence like OMFG and it's so fucking annoying to me like just ask if I came with anybody instead of just assuming I came with my parents 😭😭😭
#as i said i know asking ppl about their parents is the norm but i wish ppl would actually think about of ppl#actually have any some ppl have been disowned or have dead parents or just dont want anything to with them anymore#its so annoying i think ppl should start thinking before just assume but this is just a personal thing im not that angry at anybody lol#im more annoyed at ppl wanting to know why i was in foster care because i hate airing out all my business like that#it involves alot of abuse and very traumatic stuff and then i feel bad when i do explain it because i feel like#ive ruined that person's day by telling them about all the stuff that happened to me like omds#the most annoying instance was when i was at work and this girl kept asking me why i dont live with my parents#and she wanted me to explain why i was in foster care and i was just like. its not really any of your business 😭#just know i dont live with my parents and i used to be in foster care in fact you don't need to know if i live with#anybody or not 😭 like why are asking if my parents are together etc LEAVE ME ALONE
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i opened gno cloe and i can't even begin to tell you how stunningly beautiful she is to hold
#she's all i expected her to be and more#🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤#tales from diana#i love how most of my personal posts these days are either complaining about work or teeheeing about bratz dolls#THE BODY GLITTER!!! THE ROOTED EYELASHES!!!!!!#i really mainly got her for her second outfit (that the repros come w... cries i know the original had THREE outfits ffs!!)#but when i took her out of the box she was just so stunningly beautiful in that semi-formal dress that i couldnt take her out of it yet#kaily was also in awe#we unboxed alwayz bratz jade and gno cloe on a friday night while our parents were out seeing a standup show#i cant stress enough not just how beautiful she is in person but actually out of the box and to hold#i was explaining to kaily about how getting into bratz again has just felt so fucking good. like so much better than i expected#if i knew how great it would feel i would've started buying bratz again years ago tbh. i always gazed from a distance in longing#but oh... em... gee. it's like so difference once you just open one or two. it's over#and kaily has respected and admired my passion from the sidelines but not until she held gno cloe herself was she like#'ok. i get it. shes beautiful. this feels so fucking good' YEAH RIGHT???!?!?!?!?#i also have to say the repros of 2000s bratz hit different. my kumi felicia and cloe are on another level#from alwayz yasmin and jade. as much as i love them#idk i also think i just prefer the old unarticulated bodies. but i do like the slight bend-and-snap knees the new bodies have#bratz dont need elbow articulation. it just doesnt feel representative of the time they came out and thrived in#it just feels not as bratz i suppose#but i still like the new bratz well enough. ive seen leaks of that line coming up next year... im gonna have to get that sasha#shes the only one of the core 4 i dont have yet so i want whichever sasha i finally acquire to be really special
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#my mom hasnt decided about driving to Toronto#i told her i need an answer#ideally now. but i feel bad bugging her#she thinks i should wait and see if prices go down#and she thinks i shouldn't spend so much money on a concert ticket#and i agree. i dont want to. i think its insane that they resell them for so much.#but its my money. and i get to decide what this concert is worth#i was telling her the prices are going up and i dont want them to turn impossible.#and she kept asking how much are they how much are they how much are they#i didn't wanna tell her bc i knew shed judge me but i did. and she did#i almost feel like she thinks she'll be doing me a favor by not helping me get there bc i wont spend the money#but she really really wouldnt be#i was hoping i could buy one for tomorrow and just go by myself and not make it her issue#but theyre more than im willing to pay for crappy seats#and she said i dont want you to go at any cost and like!!!! im not!!!!!#i hate myself for stooping low enough to accept resale prices but im not spending all of my money#and i have standards for prices for where the seats are#i made the decision to sell my vienna ticket before the shows were canceled bc i knew it was thr responsibile thing to do!!!!!#i will not drive 12 hours to toronto by myself!!!!!!#im doing it at more cost than i would like but not any cost. and id also like to not be judged for it#and also. its so important to me. and if i explain how important it is. id probably get judged for that too#idk man. she said she's gonna look some now at Toronto traveling expenses#she didn't say she would have an answer by tonight#you would think if she doesn't want me to spend a crazy amount of money she would have some urgency about answering me#ig she just doesnt wanna tell me no.#idk. idk. idk. maybe i will figure out some way to go to Toronto by myself if she says no#maybe ill buy an even more ridiculously priced ticket for tomorrow#idk. ahahhahahajahahahahah
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Just remembered I have a psychiatrist appointment so early tomorrow. And I obviously dyed my hair so recently because there's green staining on my face. I don't think it's going to look great for the bipolar diagnosis, to disclose that I was feeling impulsive and wanted to get control over something, so I dyed my hair at midnight.
#i dont really like this psychiatrist but ive only seen her once so i figured i should give her one more shot#last time i saw her she adked how i liked my anxiety meds#i said i love them. theyre helpful and have no side effects since my body got used to them#and i said i explicitly didnt like ky old ones cuz of how they made me feel#she prescribed the old ones and said i should just tey taking a smaller dose. even though im on meds i like#but the bigger problem is#we went over all my previous medications. ive been on several. a lot of antidepressants especially which is really bad for bipolar#the worst antidepressant cause pericarditis (swelling around my heart) that made me go to the emergency room#we went over that. i told her everything i just told you#my bipolar leans heavily into the depression so she decided to tey another antidepressant along with my mood stabilizer#can you guess which antidepressant she prescribed? can you??#and i didnt realize it at the time because she called it the generic name so i couldnt explain she shiuldnt prescribe me that#and i meant to callher about it but it completely slipped my mind and i thought i had more time#and then suddenly my appointment is tomorrow#or the other thing she recommended was lithium. which feels like wuite an escalation#eapecially since she said it can cause irreversible damage to (maybe remembering this wrong) my kidneys#like i feel like there must be a better option. none of which are anxiety meds i dont like. an antidepressant that sent me to the hospital#or something that could cause irreversible damage. like i feel like theres a better way#i also need to talk to her about setting up an adhd assessment#i had an assessment a few years ago in which i was told im 'too smart to have adhd'#calling adhd people not smart is bullshit. you cant be too smart to have adhd. and i feel like i was just dismissed because im female#he said he wished he could score as hugh as i did on the knowledge tests#man me too. maybe then you wiuldnt be such an idiot. how did you get a license to practice. how did you pass any higher education#are you just a random guy that walked in off the street? i refuse to call him a doctor#i call him a quack or by his full name because i don't think he deserves the respect of that title#what was i talking about. oh yeah trying another assessment with an actual doctor this time#wish me luck with my appointment tomorrow bcuz she might try to kill me again#or dismiss my concerns of adhd like she dismissed my dislike for my old anxiety meds#im in hell. being mentally ill is hell a little bit#actually its not. im fine with my mental illness. im not fine with how doctors treat me because of it
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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#periodical life updates#genuinely about to write a whole post explaining wxs ship dynamics because they ALL work well together. i love them <33#i have a LOT to say about emurui specifically. i know the big ship in this group. i get it! people /love/ the gays. but emurui is so cool#from the small things (rui understands what emu means when she says ''BANG-POP-WOOSH!'') to big things (their parallel arcs in WxS)#just! nene and tsukasa going to be big worldly actors and emu and rui curling in on the memories in the bubble of the wonderstage#how long will it last. how long do they still have together. they don't want to hold their friends back but this was everything to them.#do you THINK ABOUT THEM!! believe me i love every connection in this polycule but i need more people to think about emurui hdkjdh#anyway moving on. i have lgbt club tomorrow and a bunch of deadlines are definitely closing in :/ ive got a lot to do and i DONT WANT TO.#i definitely want to start the queue up again ive got a lot of things in there i want to reblog <33#i want to start on that eca comic again. waughh theres a lot. there's always a lot. oh well. we'll get through it.#idk what else to update on other than ''im really busy'' ''i'll restart queue'' and ''i think emurui is cool'' so i guess thats it!!#see u ily!!
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Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute
#I JUST- SHDIAUDJSHDSHEYEYRYRYRY guys. guys#i know none of you see my vision and thats okay. i will make you see my vision. i will force you to see my vision. i will-#like jesus fucking christ oh my god. its so interesting and gives me so many emotions and just!!!#i know im not making sense bc none of my moots are sui sq fans and also like half of the content fucking me up specifically here is in my#head because i cant stop thinking about my absolute power fix it au but like!!!!!!!#also the fact i have a fix it for a comic that isnt out yet is so funny to me. its literally fucking real though. god knows we need it#may my own content carry me through the dark times (extreme villain waller arc)#anyways this fucks me up so bad you dont even know. someday ill actually explain it#dc hire me to write a suicide squad ongoing PLEASE. i could do it so good it would be so fucking good dc PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also like this isnt me shipping them btw. like 110% not that. just to clarify.#i wouldnt even call it a friendship bc like. theyre not friends really. he has the most equal dynamic with her i would say but it still isnt#equal. shes v much his boss even though they have an understanding and respect there#like she believes and trusts in him much more than anybody really even himself. like she sees the good man and the leader even when he#doesnt. but she isnt nice about it. and there is a lot of conflict between them when there needs to be#like as much as ben is “wallers man”--the team leader she wanted from the beginning before rick flagg pushed his way in#ben i would say is still a very moral person even when lost and unsure of himself and his goodness (which is like one of his main things)#like i feel like while amanda can lean very into a “the ends justify the means” mindset in her worse moments and do bad things to get#herself out of a corner ben has like a deep and meaningful understanding of how the choices of your methods and how you act can weigh on you#like even though he was brainwashed and whatnot (thats still the story right? i cant remember) he holds a lot of guilt and baggage over his#actions and i think is able to temper amanda's worse tendencies in terms of that by calling her out when he recognizes that behavior#idk. i just really think that amanda waller and the suicide squad as a whole has lost its way without a more moral authority presence there.#like someone who can call her out and keep them more on track. which i really thing ben is and could be#i just very much am interested in their dynamic and how that would look like as equals and how i think they could help each other.#which ofc is what my wip is about and revolves around#blah#sui sq
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actually im kind of thinking abt how all the main players in the AU are probably way more mentally Not Great than it may appear at first
#like Alex is constantly worrying she isn't doing enough for her family and pushes herself way too hard physically and mentally bc of it#no one expects it out of her but she kind of just got herself into that mindset and ends up hurting herself by pushing too hard usually#(Rana is working with her to help break the habit)#Herobrine lived in caves for like 7 (I think. im too lazy to go check the rough timeline rn) years straight#like i already dont have to explain why thats bad on its own but hyperfixating on a dead civilization that long#to the point where you almost entirely forgot your first language is Worse.#he's had so many spider bites and eaten parts of spiders that he's literally just immune to the venom now#Rana you'd think would be better off since she's like the traditional happy cheery character but I guess that's also why she's Not#being happy is a choice to her. she's lived through some of the worst shit but she keeps persisting because the world needs more love in it#she's going to be happy out of spite despite all the odds and she wants to give that to others as much as she can#this girl walks in and out of the Nether every other month for potion ingredients like how 'okay' can she actually be really#Steve is probably like the most normal by comparison#but im not really sure how sane you can realistically qualify yourself to be when you've previously done DIY top surgery with a sword#that was not a fun day for neither Steve nor (pre transition) Rana but it worked! please dont do that again#no one else do it either neither of them would recommend it#he's not traumatized from that or anything but ill be damned if the gender dysphoria didnt win that day#but at the same time so did he. via the use of like 20 healing potions#thanks Rana#minecraft au mastertag
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🎫 here's a gush pass ^^ feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other self shippers!
//No pressure!! but I hope you have a good day today anyway ^v^
AAKSSJHDISSS OKAY IM GONNA ANSWER THIS FINALLY WEEWEIWIWIWIE THANK YOU SO MUCH BY THE WAY 💞💞💞
ok so I had this thought about their physical appearances,, i think i made it obvious enough that i'm a fan of the concept of red being a little bit bulky than usual, combined with his 6'0" stature (all are my HCs) so hes like a really big bear. or.. usaring i don't know JSKSJSDHSK but yes basically that! big boy!! big pookie!!
now, now i started thinking lately what if jaide is somewhat the opposite of what red got? she's shorter and a little chubby, she buys a lot of food when she's outside and brings a lot of snacks when shes on the go and she always has a snack to offer to you if you need it :] he doesn't mind her physique and think its actually SUPER adorable - she's like a bouncy squishy ball of sunshine weeee (we'll expand on that soon)
when they're outside doing pkmn stuff together, i think jaide would beg him for a break time and he would sternly respond no, or like, "later okay?" and she would pout about it. if she saw a vending machine outside she is sure to eye on it like crazy and give him the wet dog eyes like "pookie can i get one 🥺" and he shakes his head and drags her (or even carries her) away from the vending machine and she's uueueueing (rip babygirl)
when they're at home however, or somewhere more private (basically, anywhere where red feels more comfortable) he would do everything to grab her tummy (preferably hugging her behind and latching on her waistline WEEJDHEE) and just. ~enjoy~ her presence and whatever the heck she's talking about since she likes to talk about anything related to pkmn biology aehehue and he's savoring every bit of it :] he love his chatterbox girlfriend frfrfr
and that's it :] THANK YOU FOR THE PASS WAWAWA 💞💞💞💞💞💞‼️‼️‼️
#the reason why i became more open about the whole plumpy topic was mostly because of this tiktok i found about a person who once had an ex#who didnt like her slight chub (but she didnt care) but her current partner would LOVINGLY GRAB HER CHUB and she's like#(gibberish while trying to explain her point but it made sense) I LOVED THAT VIDEO not only was it so funny but super inspiring to me!#i really dont mind about my how i look but lately i keep getting comments about how i need to lose more weight even if. WHERE???? I'M OK?#WHAT ARE YOU SAYING FR 😭 AND I DON'T EVEN CAREEEE#I SWEAR IM NOT VENTING BUT ITS LIKE BRUH LMAO OK#but yeah that's about it! :]#ask to tag (the weight topic mostly!)#~ mail#♥️ appleshipping#🍀 gush post
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sucrose is like... the cutest thing ever
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo,ide yo !!#i made an alt acc to play as aether cuz i picked lumine in my og#just out of curiosity#and for my starter pull i got sucrose#in my og i don't have sucrose (yet. istg if i dont get even ONE copy of her from the current banner...)#so i got to use her for the first time#and she reminds me a lot of hanayo from love live#except she's an alchemy nerd and not an idol fan#i like me some pana so unsurprisingly i like sucrose too#you know what's funny though#they give you two discounted acquaint fate 10-pulls when you're first starting out right?#but instead of giving me another character in the second 10-pull#the game gave me another sucrose#i'm slightly bummed that i didn't get like bennett or xingqiu or chongyun#or literally anyone else because i need more teammates#but i can't complain too much because you know. it's sucrose#also her little ears flick up in her idle animation and it's the most adorable thing i've ever seen#i also really like the physics on her cape thing and her ponytail#idk how to explain it. it's just really satisfying to me
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Replaying p3 is such a frightening experience because it forces me to remember Ikutski is a real character that exists
#persona#the klock keeps ticking#like. idk what they put in this guy that makes him so forgettable to me but its like#i literally forget he exists every single time i boot up the game#and even when i remember beforehand that hes gonna be there so i need to anticipate him. i still get jumpscared when i see him#i dont think there are enough words in the world to emphasize how much i hate this guy#forget madarame forget teddie THIS GUY this fucking yassified ben franklin bitch? hes the worst persona character#he doesnt even do jack shit its literally all mitsuru like every time he shows up to help he ends up doing absolutely nothing#and mitsuru has to pick up the slack#also like when i complain about the original p3 voice acting im. mostly complaining about him#im sure his VA is very talented has probably voiced characters i know and love but god like#its so bad in this game he sounds so robotic and fuzzy its like theres big red arrows pointing at him#saying THIS GUY IS BORING AND IS JUST HERE TO EXPLAIN PLOT STUFF YOU DIDNT EVEN NEED HIM TO TELL YOU#also my hatred of Ikutski fuels my growing protectiveness towards mitsuru#cuz hes just so incompetent unreliable just creates more work for her but then acts like hes a trustworthy adult#and its so sad cuz all mitsuru needs is like. any positive mentor who can be responsible for her#and all she gets is this shit and while i think its funny how obviously evil Ikutski is its also like#dont blame mitsuru or really any of these characters for a second for not realizing it cuz like. its not like she has any frame of reference#for how a caring responsible adult behaves! and hes with the kirijo group which she has to trust cuz its all shes ever known#and she has to base her entire life around the group and never step out of line or question authority!#its a very interesting dynamic but also unfortunately Ikutski is not a very interesting character#oh boy do i try to make him interesting when i write him but god i just hate him so much lol#running him over with a bus i hate you stupid bitch get out of my head 👺👺👺
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i thought i knew how it felt to be useless, until my bestfriends father passed away and i felt absolutely pathetic
#i had no idea what to say#what to do#nothing and it felt like everyone else knew exactly and she was okay w them but it felt like she expected more from me#and i wish i could explain to her how i would rip my heart out and give it to her if that meant she'd feel even a little better#but having never dealt w death myself#i have no idea what to do#i had this horrible feeling in my stomach#i cried and cried and i messaged her but eveyrthinh feel really useless#how do you help a person cope with death#and it hurts even more than other people are probably helping her more than me and it makes me feel like a horrible bestfriend#and i feel so selfish too because why am i thinking of myself when shes going through this?#at the end kf the day im honestly happy that even jf its not me atleasy someone is there snd can help her the way she needs#and i hope she knows that i am here for her#shes the most amazing person ive ever met in my entire life. shes so smart so fun and she's perfect. and i cant think of anyone#who deserves it less than her. shes so kind and loving towards everyone and she always thinks kf others before herself#she doesnt deserve it at all in no way#i dont know why these things happen to people who dont deserve it
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all ive thought about for days is respecing ranger wyll, he doesn't need a familiar
#also swapping devotion and life paladin for shadowheart in tivian and sorrels playthru#tiv is already the main healer and we got cleric gale we dont need more heal#sorrels party does tho#paladin still isnt ideal healer since its proximity related#so im gonna give everyone at least one individual heal#like rally thru the feats#making shadow shield focused is a shame since she cant use those plot specific two handed weapons#but she needs to protect#im p sure i gave tiv the feat that doubles charisma checks but i gotta be sure#i wish there was a way to see just feats and not all......things they got going on#gotta look at each one and go ok yea theyre war caster#dove plays bg3#everyone in tydras playthru has a pretty solid outfit EXCEPT lae'zel#i thought she got something from the creche but i guess not#so in shadowlands we're heading straight for the road to BG to fight those gith cops#gonna Not visit isobel as quickly this time#maybe cement me and karlach as lovers first#im mad how much time i wasted carrying around the shadow lantern first game when fairy blessing is so much better#but kar'niss....#im really curious if you can raise him as a spore servant#but not enough to change anyones classes#cant explain why but capes on tydra look weird so wyll gets the deathstalker#but act 2 means a lot more capes and I'll have to pick one or my character wont be as strong as possible
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