#head because i cant stop thinking about my absolute power fix it au but like!!!!!!!

[themyscirah]

Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute

[nastyburger]

public ShortComings right now right now right now right now ri

LMAO I HAVE SUMMONED CONSTELLAJ WITH MY DASH REDEMPTION ARC KLSADJSALKDJALK anyway heres the episode idea under the cut!!!

the premise/start of the episode is similar to its canon counterpart. danny needs to pass an important physical exam and is paired with dash as a fitness buddy to help prepare for it. however, instead of jack just blasting phantom, a ghost, and an innocent bystander outside the house with the shrink ray and promptly fucks off to not deal with the consequences of that, the shrink blaster is introduced early on to danny as a prototype still in the works. it is then left in the lab until it is needed later and the set up for the actual fitness buddy stuff comes into play.

the real deviation from micro management happens when skulker attacks the duo. danny randomly shouts to scatter in opposite directions to throw the ghost off as a thinly veiled excuse to have a place to transform and promptly bolts...... except dash doesnt run in the opposite direction like he was supposed to. danny gets to a secluded area and starts slowing down, like half a second away from going ghost, before being pushed by dash to keep running with skulker following close behind.

while still running for their lives, danny is just like???? why the fuck did you follow me i said scatter????? to which dash promptly says “dude that ghost was definitely chasing you and there’s no way you can out run it, you would’ve been toast.” to further prove the point, danny is unable to shake dash off his tail and actually is struggling to keep up in human form, to the point where dash is practically carrying him while occasionally tossing him ahead to force him to run without falling behind.

danny, realizing that he wont be able to turn into phantom anytime soon, decides “okay change of plans, we’ll do this the human way” and steers dash towards the direction of fentonworks to get ghost weapons instead. they eventually hit the lab and danny starts grabbing ectoguns and starts blasting at skulker who is putting up quite the fight. dash, seeing the struggle, tries to help too. he grabs some guns of his own, but being more unfamiliar with the tech, he grabs a lot of duds or stuff not fully loaded. in his frantic panic, one of the guns dash grabs ends up being the unfinished shrink blaster.

before danny can stop him, the blast goes off but instead of shrinking only the target, it malfunctions and hits everyone in the room and a couple of weapons here and there. the shrink explosion knocks everyone back quite a bit so they’re far away from the gun and idk some bullshit about jack coming in to be like huh that’s weird and taking it somewhere else. shrunken shenanigans ensue.

if danny couldnt get away to transform before, he DEFINITELY cant now (how is he gonna explain disappearing and then having a mini phantom show up lol). so he an dash are stuck together. they grab all the tiny weapons they can and set off, having tiny happenings and that all along the way similarly to canon. the only difference is danny more discreetly using his his powers and covering it up by saying it was fenton tech. it leads to some funny stuff and danny trying to badly lie through his teeth.

this episode builds on both dash’s character and how his view on danny starts to change. this event is sorta the kicker to his whole redemption arc in the nasty reboot timeline, having moments/seeds somewhat sown before this but never full on sprouting until this moment. dash has seen danny hold his own in a fight before, but only in teams, with his friends, and behind weapons (i.e pirate radio) up until this point. as their weapons start to lose ammo and supplies (and, unknown to dash, danny’s powers) dash starts to REALLY see how resourceful and charismatic danny is on his own. all other possible factors are removed here, its just pure, unfiltered, human danny fenton baby!

even when dash has his breakdown similar to canon, the kid he picked on for years still extends a hand and helps him out of it. even when the goal seems so far away like they’ll never make it, danny tells him to press on and keeps moving forward. even when they’re at their wits end and dash cant for the life of him figure out a way out of the situation, danny still!! somehow!!!! does!!!!!!! all these little moments make dash start to fall in love appreciate the skillset and merits danny has all on his own. (theres also like themes of danny learning how to properly balance/maintain both of his lives and learning he has valuable skillsets as fenton too instead of being a useless half in this reboot. dash’s validation is a small part of what encourages danny into realizing his worth. because, hell, if your bully thinks you’re doing alright then thats gotta mean something, right?)

the climax of the episode is when danny is backed into a corner by skulker with no ammo, no powers, and no significant physical strength. but even so, danny decides to go off the deep end by launching himself at skulker and starts smacking the shit out of the ghost with nothing but an empty ectogun and blind gremlin rage.

(exactly like this lol)

in the struggle, danny is doing surprisingly well (which dash absolutely notes in awe) but then at one point, skulker points a weapon in prime position to shoot danny without him noticing. dash panics and rushes to pull fenton off of skulker, but danny, upon realizing what dash is doing, takes opportunity and latches onto skulker’s head trying to pry it off with dash’s combine strength (much to dash’s confusion).

basically, danny manages to rip skulker’s fucking head off (dash is horrified until danny shows him the actual ghost and how his body was just a suit) and sucks up skulker into a spare thermos. the two then use the suit to jet pack them up onto the welding table in the ops center where jack had been tinkering with it.

the shrink blaster had its final fixes implemented in it now, with a reverse switch as well, so danny and dash easily changes back to normal. they share a bit of a moment, similar to phantom and dash in canon. but instead of dash ruining the moment this time, its danny who simply states “well the adrenaline has worn off so i should probably tell you my leg is most likely fractured” before collapsing onto dash. at some point during the tussle with skulker, danny’s leg apparently got scrunched pretty hard to the point of being broken but danny was being too feral in the moment to react right away.

(again, as stated in a previous ask, my shitpost jock protection squad au took various elements from this plotline in the reboot so there will be overlap but its not canon)

because of the broken leg situation, danny is unable to do the test but is allowed to retake it once he recovers. of course, this means dash is still danny’s fitness buddy. this gives an excuse for them to be stuck together for a little longer and so the redemption process begins!!!! (even if danny’s leg technically already healed after a day or so lol)

[fubukiswifenoimnotjoking]

One Punch Man ship reviews bc I’m bored

WARNING: BIG ONE PUNCH MAN WEBCOMIC AND MANGA SPOILERS

GenoSai: do I even have to say it?? They compliment each other so well and are already besties. They make me so happy and I love their love. Genos literally came into Saitama’s life and brought so much new life and excitement when Saitama thought he’d never get any. Genos gives him love and appreciation all the time and never abandons him. Saitama isn’t connected to his feelings, but he cares about Genos and would do just about anything for him, to keep him safe. Genos constantly teases Saitama and Saitama grumbles and takes it with some banter, Genos is super emotional and Saitama does his best to comfort him, they fucking love shopping together and just hanging out period, they talk about the dumbest shit and somehow they still understand each other with the one brain cell they both share. It takes Genos forever to realize his feelings are deeper and Saitama has to be TOLD by their friends that he should fucking realize his feelings already. Just...I could keep going but I’ll stop! 2718873737839439/10 (let’s not talk about the age gap btw, 6 years isn’t bad and Genos is a legal adult.)

FubuSai: the stereotypical straight ship ppl gravitate to. Eh. I can see it, but at the same time I feel like they don’t completely compliment each other. Are they a hot couple? Duh. But I feel like their pride and communication issues would get in the way. 4/10

TatsuSai: hnghhhh. Someone mentioned this before, can’t remember who, but Saitama literally thinks she’s a child in canon. So that just....makes it gross. Same problems as FubuSai but worse. I’d rather see them as hesitant friends w a weird bond. 0/10

SonSai/SonicSai/idk the ship name: eh, toxic. Cant see them getting past communication issues and pride, again. Plus Sonic wants to kill his ass. Also, I just feel no romantic tension?? Even in fanfic it just falls flat for me. 3/10

MumenSai: a favorite!! Wish I saw it more, it’s very cute. Mumen is so kind and would absolutely be there to help him w self esteem and just help him be a better person period. And Saitama would have a cute little kind guy to tease and open up to. I could maybe see Mumen’s kindness getting on Saitama’s nerves when he’s in a bad mood bc Mumen almost never snaps and Saitama feels shittier, or maybe Mumen being mad at Saitama for being kinda lazy at home while Mumen is working his ass off and he’s like babe I just got home, please stop playing the fucking game and pay attention to me I have a concussion again. Prob too nitpicky on this one, heh, but 8.4/10

Genos x Sonic: wtf? As a crack ship, sure. That’s hilarious. But as a serious ship, 1.3/10 bc I could MAYBE see them bond over their love of my chemical romance or sum.

Anyone x Puri: -128382839287473828739219833468282/10. Fuck Puri.

TatsuKing: eh. Indifferent on this one too. I can see them getting along and Tatsu being the mean but supportive gf in public, but a sweet gf in private. King could be like her calm oasis of video games and sweet blonde shy bf. I sway more towards ace/aro King and queer non binary Tatsu, but this is still good. 6/10

FubuPsy/Fubuki x Psykos/idk: hell yeah!! This series NEEDS more wlw ships, both for me to project onto and to cry over. Prob my fav Fubuki ship, cuz they’ve known each other since they were young and had a tenuous friendship. I didn’t use to ship it until I saw that scene in the wc after the MA arc (u know the one) but here we are. They’re big personalities so any interaction is bound to be chaotic at first, but I really think they’d work. Pride put to the side, Psykos could be someone for Fubuki to finally rely on other than the Blizzard Bunch, someone to confide in, a badass partner to fight monsters with, talk about nothing for hours with, be a super fashionable #girlboss couple with, and someone who would really see her for who she is-especially w Psykos knowledge of her from the past. Hell, Psykos might even know her better than Tatsumaki. Fubuki could be an anchor to her like she currently is in the wc, providing a quiet comfort and making her open up little by little. Would prob be toxic at first bc of the MA arc and their desire for power, but is a very good ship I think. 9/10

Speedal/Sonic x Mumen: an old fav! Sonic would have a hard time not hating Mumen at first bc he’s the picture definition of a hero, sum he hates. But hanging out with him would show him Mumen is a GOOD guy genuinely and he’d be like ohhhh shit I’m in love w this man. Mumen would thoroughly appreciate someone to make him live a little, break some rules and stand up to ppl when they talk over him. He’d DEFINITELY be upset when finding out Sonic is an assassin, but would prob be conflicted bc he knows Sonic is a good person despite that. Would prob make Sonic give up on killing for them to be together. Sucks bc of the assassin thing and bc they haven’t met in canon! So we’re not sure how they’d interact with each other, sigh. 7.4/10

Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: a very underrated ship! To be clear, I headcanon Kama as a trans woman and so does most of the fandom. Anyway, very sweet and already built as a friendship bc of their partnership under Atomic Samurai. I can’t remember who writes fic and makes art of them on tumblr but AAAAA it’s so good! Very sweet. Basically depicted Bushi as a nervous himbo who’s honest about his feelings but scared to say them and Kama as a sweet lady who’s crazy about Bushi. Very sweet. Want more of them!! 6.1/10

OneZon/Zombieman x One Shotter: never even thought of the ship till I saw @megidolan art work! Very wholesome, and from what little we know of Shotter we know he’s a sort of nervous yet strong willed guy, and Zombieman would totally help him calm down bc he’s so chill. I could see them sharing cigarettes and talking shit on heroes while cuddling u know? 7/10 only because I don’t see enough of it but very good concept.

Mumarou/Mumen x Garou: a lot of ppl are gonna hate me for this but....I don’t like it. I’ve tried! I just—idk. I’ve read so many good fics about them that make me like it a bit, but the concept is just eh. I think their relationship is, in most reps, really cliche angsty stuff. I wish I could elaborate I just...gah! Basically, there’s better ships for the both of them imo. Sorry!! 4.3/10

Sonic x Flashy/SonFlash: yes!! Prob my fav Sonic ship. They have soooo much tension, it’s almost worse than Genos’ tension w Saitama. Flashy LITERALLY poisoned Sonic so that he wouldn’t be forced to kill him at the ninja graduation. He cares. They’ll never say it out loud, but they care. They have someone who understands what they went through in each other and someone they’re both so similar to, yet so different from. Sonic is more vocal about his expressions and let’s people know it while Flashy often keeps things to himself, they could really influence the other to be more this or that. I could see a lot of comfort with these two, and not much is needed for relationship development; they already have so much unspoken between them after meeting for the first time in years. Love it. Wish I saw it more! 10/11

KingSai: wonderful! Out of the few ppl Saitama is close to, def my second fav pick for a ship for him. There’s a post saying how Saitama doesn’t cut King off when he’s going on rants about games and stuff bc he’s talking TO Saitama, not at him like Genos tends to do on accident. They’re already great buddies! Saitama could find a shy gamer man who he can talk to about manga and stuff and also a passionate bf who could break out of his shell w Saitama and be himself with no lies. King can have someone to protect him, duh, someone who finally understands his weird sense of humor, and someone to shower him in the love and kindness he deserves when Saitama is in the mood to be all out like that w his affections. Plus he’s Saitama’s anchor and brings him back down when he’s super anxious and depressed and tells him what’s up that he needs to fix without sugarcoating it. Would def have a bunch of inside jokes and go on dates that are just staying inside playing video games all night. Domestic af. 10/10

Fubuki x Mizuki: my first wlw Fubuki ship! Hard to find but very good. Mizuki is this big ball of kindness, energy, and raw power that would make Fubuki go ‘Ohhhhhhh, big pretty lady make brain go brrr.’ I could see Mizuki grounding Fubuki when she’s in over her head, giving her random gifts bc she saw sum and thought of her, doing a marathon run and wildly waving at Fubuki in the crowd, and all around being a dependable woman confident in herself and in love with a mysterious esper. Prob a little shy when it comes to anything physical bc she loves Fubuki so much and is overwhelmed by the realness of being w her. Fubuki gives Mizuki advice on ‘acting like a proper hero’ or whatever and though Mizuki thinks she doesn’t need it, Fubuki still helps her a lot w her career and being taken more seriously by others. Would give Mizuki someone who loves her for who she is and would go wild on her in private when she can be open about her affection, would be someone Mizuki could exercise with and listen intently to Mizuki’s physical knowledge, and would absolutely bandage her when she’s all banged up. Hnghh love this ship. It’s only behind the FubuPsy ship juuuuust a little bc they haven’t met in canon so we can’t be sure about their interactions and stuff. 8.8/10, I love WOMEN

Batarou: how could I go this far without mentioning them?! They have SOOOO much tension in the centichoro fight, like come on. Both snarky assholes who are huge softies one the inside, Badd being the more logical one (still a himbo, tho) and Garou being the more chaotic one. Probably take forever to admit their feelings bc they’re so prideful and stupid <3 flirt through constant wrestling matches and it takes Genos saying ‘they should kiss already, they’re getting on his nerves’ for them to finally realize what’s up. (@rayadraws has a great au where Garou Genos and Badd are a chaotic friend squad and Genos is the only brain of the group, haha. Very good au y’all check it out!) Would constantly pick on each other affectionately and switch into concerned SO when the other is hurt like the big teddy bears they are. Raise Zenko together for sure. Garou would fumble being romantic and Badd would find it both hilarious and cute. 11/12

Zombie mask/Amai x Zombieman:

So. I don’t like Amai Mask and I used to hate him, BUT the webcomic and fic have really helped me calm down on him (he’s still a dick tho), so it’s easier to want to ship him and stuff. Bc of Amai’s anger issues and controlling behavior, I could see this relationship being super toxic and icky—but I think they have some form of understanding that pulls Amai back from being a complete dick, you know? Start off as fuck buddies and slowly form something else from spending companionable time together other than screwing. Zombieman pulls Amai back from his angry fits and soothes him over with his logic. Talk maaaaaad shit about heroes, but only when they’re alone because Zombieman knows Amai will talk loud af about the heroes they’re roasting and Zombie doesn’t wanna stop a fight from happening. Zombieman loves making Amai flustered and has a secret check list in his head of all the things that get Amai red faced. Loves to listen to Amai rant about things for hours and loves to watch his face go through almost cartoon like expressions as he talks. He won’t admit it, but Zombie loves to be spoiled by Amai’s shit tons of cash and often takes rides in Amai’s limos when he wants to smoke and think to himself. Amai has a hard time realizing how his feelings have changed, but gets hit hard with it when he wakes up to Zombie making them breakfast one morning while wearing Amai’s underwear. Amai also loves to spoil Zombie and takes him out to restaurants and buys him cool new weapons on the weekends. @batneko has pretty much gotten me into this ship and I strongly suggest looking at their works! 7.9/10

DemonKnight/Genos x Zero/Drive Knight: I’m pretty sure this used to be a crack ship before the past like 10 manga chapters—and now here we are! Not a fav bc 1. ZERO LEFT GENOS TO SELF DESTRUCT AFTER THEY COMBINED TO FORM THE FUCKING JET HE WAS JUST LIKE lol bye SO LIKE if he left him to die that’s super hard for me to forgive and ship grrr 2. Disregarding the manga’s canon and looking at the wc, while I love the little trip they went on where Zero demonstrated his abilities and helped Genos kill monsters, it’s super sus. He knew alllll of this info on Metal Knight and was super supportive and understanding when Genos said he needed time to think. Like,,,what are his intentions? We know so little about him—is he trying to trick Genos or was he being sincere? THAT STUFF ASIDE, they’re a really fun ship. They’re both huge fucking nerds and can keep up with their talk on robotics for hours, they’re both cyborgs so they understand each other’s pain, and they’re both super cool and angsty. I think they could really settle into a deep bond that can go platonic or romantic, just depends. Genos needs more ppl in his life so hell yeah! Plus, he can really let go with Zero bc they don’t have that teacher/student relationship and Zero, if he’s really a sincere and kind guy like in the wc, can be there for Genos and listen to him. Don’t have much to say on this ship other than @wellthisisembarrassing makes GORGEOUS art of them! 6.3/10

Webuiko/Suiko x Webigaza: YEAH I KNOW THEY HAVENT INTERACTED IN CANON AND WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM BUT HEAR ME OUT. Webigaza—cool af determined cyborg idol who’s surprisingly down to earth when talking with Child Emperor. Suiko—sassy and honest fighter who doesn’t take shit and is very passionate. Suiko would go to talk to Web then immediately freak out bc aaaa she’s way prettier than she thought, she can’t do this! Web would have to gently encourage Suiko to talk and at first is like ‘ah man, must be an adoring fan, ugh I’m so tired. At least she’s hot’ but when Suiko snaps out of her shyness Web is like oh! She’s super cool wtf. Always bump into each other during fights and help each other get fixed up, Suiko using her muscle power to lift Web’s pieces (and give Web a great view of Suiko’s muscles holy SHIT) and Web would patch Suiko up. Not to be stereotypical, but they’re def a masc/femme couple. I love the idea of this ship soooo much and I really hope they interact! 6.6/10 only bc they haven’t met 😭😭😭 look them up on here! There’s some great art of them by a few blogs

Dr. Kuseno x Bang: pretty sure @baldyborg came up with this one! Super cute. Just two old dudes finding a nice friendship in each other, maybe after Bang helps carry Genos to Kuseno’s after a day of fighting. Bang would find Kuseno to be a very cute little nerd man and would be sooo impressed by Kuseno’s mad scientist skills. Kuseno would be super impressed when seeing Bang in action too. They’d prob talk as soon as they meet each other and Genos would be in the background like you guys it’s been an hour, please fix me I’m on the verge of death 🧍🏻Bang would give Kuseno advice on training techniques to teach Genos and advice on making his bodies more martial arts ready or sum, meanwhile Kuseno would give his take on how to be kinder to Garou so that Bang would learn to repair the relationship with a gentleness he’s seemingly lacking (yes I’m talking about the chapter where he and Garou start fighting and Bang is just not doing enough to reach out to Garou, he’s being a callous old man! So yeah I’m still mad about that). Genos and Saitama would prob be out on a date and Saitama would be like oh theres Bang, wonder what he’s doing? Then Kuseno would walk up and kiss Bang and Genos and Sai would be shocked like SIRS 👬 Genos would tell Bang he doesn’t need another adoptive dad and Bang would be like....ok.... I see them retiring in a cottage together and Bang would become a huge softie. Yes I’m actively ignoring chapter 141 of the wc, shut up. 7.6/10

TankTop master x Mumen: they have a nice friendship going on in the manga right now! Just bros supporting bros. Tank is the picture definition of a muscly himbo and Mumen is his cute passionate bf. Also workout buddies af!! Don’t have much to say other than pretty good ship, just not a fav. 5.2/10

To sum it up—

GenoSai: 2718873737839439/10, Batarou: 11/12, SonFlash: 10/11, KingSai: 10/10, FubuPsy: 9/10, Fubuki x Mizuki: 8.8/10, MumenSai: 8.4/10, ZombieMask: 7.9/10, Dr. Kuseno x Bang: 7.6/10, Speedal: 7.4/10, OneZon: 7/10, Webuiko: 6.6/10, DemonKnight: 6.3/10, Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: 6.1/10, TatsuKing: 6/10, TankTop Master x Mumen: 5.2/10, Mumarou: 4.3/10, FubuSai: 4/10, SonSai: 3/10, Genos x Sonic: 1.3/10, TatsuSai: 0/10, anyone x Puri: -1283828319833468282/10

If there’s any ships I left out, it’s bc I don’t know them, don’t wanna talk about them, or just don’t have an opinion strong enough. Also, I know there are some poly ships like Genos x Saitama x Fubuki, but I’ve read only one fic about that (it was pretty good, here’s the link https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406992 ) so I don’t feel like talking about it. Hope no ones offended! All my opinion here :)

[gayregis]

blood and wine rewrite au basic layout

i already posted something like this before but i cant find the post so im just rewriting all of this from the top of my head

everyone’s repurposed roles:

geralt - he’s still a witcher. he’s geralt of rivia. obviously. i don’t have time or interest to think about how to rewrite the entire witcher 3 game to be lore-friendly, but i assume there would be less triss and more dandelion involved in it. for this let’s just take him as geralt having done everything in tw3 but with the personality of geralt from the books because geralt from the games doesn’t have much of a strong personality good for writing or thinking about.

regis - a bitch. nah jk. he’s same regis but just what he was like 100 years ago when he got his head cut off. he’s less spiralling-into-doom than he was then, and is less desperate and hopeless overall, but is slowly getting there once again. he doesn’t remember anything about learning from his mistakes and becoming a good person, because this regis didn’t get any of that. to this regis, it’s like no time has passed at all since he died, and he’s ready to start partying again without any thought of the consequences. he’s moved to toussaint because everyone’s already tipsy there and the north is plagued by war so it’s not a really great source to be drinking from (like if there was a sewage leak near the vineyard you sourced your wine from). he doesn’t remember anything about maturing up or about becoming a surgeon or about the hansa, so that sucks.

dettlaff - not a fucking maniac. actually a character geralt will likely spend a good amount of time talking to. total character overhaul because he does not have a personality in the actual DLC. he arrived in toussaint because he had heard that regis had returned and wanted to fix things wih him, he had previously left him.

syanna - not a fucking dumbass, yet still naive in her own way due to being blinded with the promise of power. in this, she is planning to stage a coup on the duchy (because she is the older sister, so it IS her right by law) and she supports regis’ slow dive again into uncontrollable insanity because it helps her prop up rumors that her sister’s reign is ineffective against real threats and is cursed. but this alliance does not go as she planned...

orianna -  in this, she is the owner of a gladiatorial school (instead of an orphanage), and is still like in canon a wealthy and influential individual of beauclair, yet reclusive from human society. she is regis’ best friend and goads him on, because she never fixed her own issues with alcoholism and now is elated to have him back and forgetting that they had disagreements which drove them apart in the first place. they’re best friends (NO romance) and it’s just good to see how insanely different orianna and geralt are because they’ve both been regis’ close friends at different points in time.

the purpose of this:

fix regis’ relationships with the vampires. he slowly drove all of his good friends away by going off the deep end and many are likely wondering whatever happened to him. but books regis would never consider partying like that again, so we bring the party regis back and then slowly de-escalate him into normal books regis again, and we finally get closure with him and his old friends.

cool dramatic stereotypical vampire shit. i’m talking about a final battle or conversation in a giant dark castle with large open windows and billowing drapery.

regis’s hairstyle

give syanna actual agency as a character and give her motivations that extend beyond pure revenge (although they are related to revenge) and make her more unique so she is not just a ripoff of renfri. 

demonstrate anna henrietta and geralt’s relationship as it was in the books. he was genuinely intimidated by her and i interpret him as being jealous of her relationship with dandelion, so he in practice was quite withdrawn around her as she was her overemotional and embellished self

give dettlaff an actual character, holy shit. i hate how sorely underdeveloped he is in the game. i understand why because it’s not meant to be writing, it’s meant to be a video game, but come on. i hate having the vampire with the cool character design be the ultimate villain of the whole narrative. in this, he’s someone geralt can talk to and sees himself in. he’s emotionally mature and doesn’t mix with the other vampires. since we already know what regis is like, we don’t have to sit through dettlaff making excuses for him and trying to describe what his character is like. we also get a better view of regis’ past through dettlaff’s lense. 

give orianna an actual character, holy shit. i hate how they didn’t even try with her and just used her as a “surprise, she is quite evil!” gimmick. have her actually have a larder for blood that is lore-friendly yet still jumps out at the audience as morally wrong.  give her more personality and development.

examine regis’ backstory without actually getting into every single year of those 4 centuries. we can examine how it started good, turned bad, went worse... there’s a lot of loss involved and i think this would be nice to process it.

roughly what happens (under cut because if i ever do write this fic out, this is spoilers, literally the synopsis of the whole thing):

anna henrietta sends envoys to geralt. they establish that the duchess has no conflict with geralt and that her conflict was with dandelion, only. she has requested his help because he effectively dealt with many monsters while he was in beauclair and established a trustworthy reputation (also, he’s famous, and toussaintoirs are superficial). instead of the beast of beauclair killing particular victims, it’s the countryside which has been plagued by vicious attacks of the devil knows what.

geralt arrives and examines the scenes of the attacks. the sincere majority of the victims are alive, so he speaks to them. they remember nothing, but woke up with their village fucking absolutely trashed and with vomit everywhere. they all have wounds on their necks. geralt thinks he knows what’s up, but is reluctant to deal with it because of his memories of regis, who he misses

damien de la tour is assigned to geralt as a sort of backup. they argue and geralt manages to get him to stay put in beauclair while he rides to a village they believe will be attacked next. it’s not even a full moon so the vampires don’t even come out in their bat form (disappointing) but instead just mesmerize their way in in humanoid form. dettlaff sneaks up on geralt who is (ahem) staking out the situation, and is like hey dont kill regis hes not evil hes just misguided!! and geralt is like REGIS? EMIEL REGIS? THTS WHO’S LEADING THEM? i ..... i know him.... and dettlaff’s like what the fuck how... then they get caught and regis is like oh hey dettlaff who’s this guy and geralt feels very left out :( and also sad bc regis doesnt remember shit and geralt even lists the hansa members by name and regis is still like O_O ok yeah im just going to hypnotize you to get lost ok goodbye! but dettlaff prevents him from doing this and they both get thrown out of the party.

after the party geralt is a mess and is like wtf so hes back and what... how... huh... and dettlaff doesnt know how he returned or why he returned either but they compare geralt’s knowledge of how regis died with dettlaff’s knowledge of how regeneration works and they figure out that regis just regenerated from his past body and that’s why he doesn’t have any of his memories from when he turned good.

then they eavesdrop a little more and find out that syanna has been talking to regis and making deals with him (its... not really like she thinks, regis really hasnt been doing anything he doesnt want to. shes just like “hey can you attack this village here” and regis is like yeah i was gonna host a party there tomorrow night ...) so they are like who the fuck is this woman and track her down to her base of operations, and then they find out that THEY got followed by damien de la tour, who identifies her as sylvia anna. geralt is a little miffed on behalf of dandelion that damien seems to be so close to anna henrietta but i digress.

geralt reports his findings to the duchess but does NOT mention regis because the duchess knows who regis is. then we get the same vampire talk from canon b&w where the duchess and damien are sorely misinformed on every single thing ever.

geralt is defeated and has no idea on how to fix this and hes looking hard into a mirror by candlelight and then decides to go to bed so he turns around and regis is right behind him like hey. cue ‘holy shit what the fuck’ moment and freaking out. regis explains himself and says that he doesnt remember him but the fact that he gave so many specifics weirded him out and he kind of wants to know more out of curiosity. also he wants to talk to dettlaff but feels too bad about how he argued with him like 3 centuries ago that he cant just ask him directly.

so they talk and geralt is all :(( and regis is like ok well. i kinda want to get these memories back because they sound pretty significant and also im pretty miserable. but also im not going to stop partying bc its the only thing that makes me feel alive rn. so long!

geralt and dettlaff talk to orianna and she dislikes them both but still talks to them and then regis materializes and also begins bothering them and its quite civil but this scene just serves to demonstrate how annoying they are as friends lol

there’s scenes where you can either save damien / syanna from being unalived by the vampires’ / regis’ hand, only if you let syanna die will the duchess be mad and accuse you of being heartless like dandelion is and then geralt and the duchess actually get into an argument bc of that comment but geralt ofc loses bc hes scared of her lol

no matter what you get regis his memories back but your decisions to either continue helping him or not is what makes him change or not. even after he gets his memories back (or because he gets his memories back?) he decides to raze beauclair bc hes just so fucking miserable and geralt has to talk him down, if you are harsh and not understanding and shame him etc then he doesnt change, if you condemn his actions but still offer your support then he does.

if you offer your support > geralt talks about the hansa like For Ever and regis then adds in everything and yay regis is back to normal. theres like a wholesome montage of geralt being like “just TRY to sew up a wound i promise you you will be good at it” and regis does and hes splendid at it. regis and dettlaff finally make up and are bros once again. we help orianna with her issues and she realizes stuff but is still going to have a drink once in a while. if syanna is alive she doesnt hate on any of this but just decides to make up with the duchess and then become captain of the guard (damien gets fired for being a dumbass).

if you do not offer your support > regis goes to cry in a delapidated creepy old castle and you have an epic fight (geralt is backed up by dettlaff) and he turns into a bat and geralt almost dies, they manage to decapitate regis again and put him in the ground and set a timer for 50 years

if you redeem regis then there’s an ending scene where the duchess is like “oh regis i didnt know you were in town” and hes just like <:) ahaha... yeah...

cue crying about milva/cahir/angouleme For Ever. maybe link this with the fic where geralt and regis bring them all back as ghosts/real ppl and then they have to deal with those consequences

[rosebelladonna]

That AU where they were partners... headcanons pls?

After Ruby tells her how she wants to be a hero and make the world a better place, Blake goes off the cliff planning on finding her.

Blake finds her easily and steps out in front of her while she's rushing about looking for Yang

Ruby is really quiet and shy while they look for the 'relics' and Blake is like "??? You're allowed to like. Talk yknow" and Ruby kinda blushes and goes "I...don't know how to hold a conversation with you..." and immediately Blake is like "Yes This Was A Perfect Plan" bc. Ruby is So Cute

When Ruby says they should hitch a ride on a Nevermore, Blake is just like "no you're absolutely right. lets go" bc truly? Blake is canonically always down for Ruby's schemes (except for at the beginning of v2 but she turned around p quick when the food fight happened)

just. so much slow blinking. and ruby picks up on that fast and does it back.

blake, soft smile, slow blink:

ruby: weiss,,,,,blake keeps blinking at me???

weiss: blink back, cats do it to show affection

ruby, blinking back:

blake: O///////O *runs away*

volume 2 is a lot of ruby being upset and jealous ab sun tbh. (just bc i feel like ruby is more predisposed to jealousy even if she doesnt realize the extent of her feelings)

when blake is overworking herself and doesn't want to go to the dance, ruby asks yang for advice on how to convince blake to go and yang is like "just tell her how much youd like to see her there!"

anyway where im going with that is ruby taking blake flowers and stammering her way through asking blake to the dance

blake is blushing and furious and asks if ruby is making fun of her or if sun set her up to do this and ruby is just like "no!!!!! i really want you to come to the dance and i especially want you to come with me!!!!" and basically they get kicked out of the library for yelling

blake rests up and meets ruby outside the dance and yang cheers and tells them how pretty they look

ruby clings to blake because she cant walk in heels and blake is just like "WHY AM I SO FLUSTERED BY THIS SHE'S JUST MY PARTNER. MY TEAM LEADER. WHY AM I BLUSHING!!!"

sun tries to cut in and ruby shoots him the nastiest glare. she doesnt know why either but SHE asked blake to the dance, dammit!

pyrrha and yang steal her away to dance with them in the end though and blake does dance with sun! she has fun! but she kinda misses how it felt to lead ruby in their awkward stilted dance (bc not being able to walk in heels is bad enough. trying to dance in them? eugh. hell.)

then weiss and yang both dance with blake and ruby steps out for a breath and so the dance arc goes about like it did in canon (with blake being Very Stressed when ruby comes back after disappearing for the last half of the dance and its much later than it should be)

i feel like the mountain glenn arc goes similarly, but with ruby actually listening to the rest of her team's conversation by the fire and her being the one to comment "youre not one to back down from a challenge, blake" and blake looks at her through the glow of the fire and she looks so sweet and sincere it nearly breaks her heart. ruby tells them to get some rest and that she'll wake the next person at shift change

and then yknow she gets caught by torchwick and goons

uhhh v3 headcanons include

ladybug going into the doubles match

ruby being the one framed (for injuring neo instead of mercury - em casts an illusion so that neo can still be the getaway driver)

blake being horrified bc like. ruby's emblem, dyed hair, speed, black + red aesthetic, red weapon and now her SWEARING this was an accident? its just too much.

but ruby's eyes are honest and so blake chooses to believe her and even does a little slow blink at her while yang wipes at ruby's face and promises to bring her back something sweet from the fairgrounds

yang + merc showdown happens in the tunnels to get to the other side of the arena after yang talks to velvet and realizes what the hell is going on during the penny pyrrha fight when she spots emerald

yang firing off shots at the nevermore in front of pyrrha and weiss rushing in with penny's sword to scream "get away from her!" (global warming? on MY ladybug blog? its more likely than u think)

blake is already calling her locker and trying to figure out how to get back to her partner

the blake adam fight happens in front of the tower and happens bc im shifting the timeline around to suit my needs

basically in my au here,,,,,,,,,pyrrha is taken to get the maiden powers earlier in the fall and cinder makes adam stand guard while she goes to get the wyvern

which means jaune calls the girls and wby goes to get pyrrha and then run into adam. blake even though she's terrified and not ready, tells them she'll hold him off. so then weiss and yang go off up the tower. (yang still loses her arm, cinder cuts it off instead)

the reason i changed it up like this? ruby stumbles on blake being stabbed and activates her eyes. the blast is so big it still takes out the wyvern and cinder. unfortunately it knocks ruby out but similarly to canon, blake leaves a copy of them and runs. adam flees when he realizes he has nothing else to do there (he does still promise to destroy everything blake loves starting with ruby but big blinding flash of light means he didnt get to)

qrow shows up and helps weiss bring pyrrha and yang (who are both injured and unconscious) down from the tower

sun sits by yang's bed until she wakes up and then tells her that blake left -- but he's going after her and asks her to tell ruby

pyrrha stays at the rose-xiao long house while recovering, weiss is taken away by jacques, blake runs, ruby leaves with jnr on their big journey and just. hopes she'll see everyone again

also when they get to the battle of haven, blake very quietly says "ruby?" and yang has to snap ruby out of her reverie. they fight alongside one another and when all is said and done she stretches her arms out to blake for a hug while she sits on the floor and blake rushes to her

(yang brought pyrrha along so jnpr has a big reunion and then both teams sink into a big group hug)

ruby tells blake all about her adventures with jnr and blake tells her about taking back the white fang (and about adam)

theres even more feeling behind ruby blasting the apathy when theyre about to get blake (and she gets a little embarassed when she's talking with maria and remembers that silver eyes are fuelled by love bc she activated them to save blake twice now)

adam v ladybug - ruby races through the woods and just comes over the cliff in rose petal form and slams crescent rose into his face

blake tells ruby how adam's semblance is similar to yang's but how he's super fast and ruby is just like "i can guarantee im faster" (canonically ruby's semblance is at least one part teleportation)

basically she uses a move like qrow did with tyrian and catch adam's sword in crescent rose. she then smashes her head into his face and he stumbles back and then blake jumps back up and kicks him in the back and he stumbles over the broken piece of gambol shroud and yeah they stab him.

they get back to find the leviathan and then it plays out basically how it did in the finale (but yknow with ruby and blake sitting together and yang gives ruby The Look™)

blake is freaking out bc she has no way to help and now the leviathan is staring ruby down

most of ruby's memories focus in on blake as something to activate her eyes and some of the bad memories is adam standing over blake at the fall and him throwing her off the side of the bridge

when ruby gets back into the airship blake is so relieved she kisses her and ruby is just like "aaaaAAAAAAAAAAA"

also ruby helps blake figure out what she wants to do to fix gambol shroud and plans it out with her so that when they get to a weaponsmith, all the plans are there

blake kisses ruby again after her haircut and ruby cant stop running her hands through it

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

anonymous asked:  How would you feel about an Avatar AU? I’d love to see what element, or if a character is a non-bender, you feel would match your favourite characters in HQ!

oh-HO. i am unsure if you know that Avatar is one of my all-time favorite shows so when i saw this ask i was pumped!!! without further ado: i finally had some inspiration. i took this a bit farther than just my fav characters (i did as many as i could think of) and although i say in my rules i don’t do hc’s i felt this ask was best answered in that format so i did my best! i hope you enjoy 😁 im nervous as hell about headcanons 😬 some i have reasons for (serious or funny) and others i just...have a feeling 

special shoutout to my discord fam that i love so dearly and especially to @animelake13 and @justoverseas for helping me out 💕💕

Karasuno:

Daichi:

Alright with those thighs and that dependability?? Earthbender through and through

He is a rock solid, all-around player that holds Karasuno all together

he is their BASE, stable as fuck

he didn’t get those thighs from nothing he got them kicking around some boulders

didnt get those arms from nothing either, punching rocks out of mountainsides

Suga:

Waterbender for sure

Hello? Mr. Refreshing

Very calm and level-headed, but like Katara: DO NOT. FUCK WITH HIM.

He’ll fuck you up

again like Katara, mom friend, supporting the whole team, caring a lot about them and getting ready to fight and ready to jump in and help at a moments notice

Asahi: (Thanks Louie!)

ok so this boy was hard to decide bc, he’s a nervous bean but also the motherfuckin ace so he ain’t playin around

so i decided on earthbender because, he’s a big boi; a powerful and all-around player that has the respect of his teammates

and although he’s nervous, so maybe he doesn’t use earthbending to the extent of other benders but when he needs to, he will

and when he does it has impact and he is a pretty strong earthbender to boot

he can move fucking mountains when he wants to

member of the white lotus bc he only uses his immense power when he absolutely has to

noya: “asahi!! show us your bending”

asahi: “oh im not much of a bender”

MOVES A CONTINENT

Noya:

While my first instinct was firebender

the more i thought about it the more airbender made sense

air is the element of freedom and Noya is the definition of wild and free

not only that but his position too! airbending is almost purely defensive

sounds like our guardian diety to me

also can u imagine

Noya and Hinata racing like maniacs on air scooters

Daichi throwing up barriers all over the place to stop them but they just nyoom around them like obstacles

airbending is all about circles too and roooooolllliiiinnnng (hehe) thunder!!!

Tanaka:

alrighty well here is Karasuno’s firebender

Firebending is known for its intense and aggressive attacking style and literally

Tanaka yells like a maniac anytime he goes in for a spike

and firebenders can be hotheaded (dont have to be, Iroh for example) BUT say anything about Kiyoko, Karasuno or really anything and he’s ready to throw down

it might be all talk but he still gets fucking triggered

he fires up two flames in his palms and makes that face “ehhh what did you say about our lovely Kiyoko-san?!?”

Enno:

airbender

he has such patience and probably mediates or something 

or else he’d go crazy from Tanaka and Noya doing stupid airbender/firebender shit and burning down the entire town 

deals it out when he needs to, sometimes blowing Tanaka and Noya to opposite sides of the room and pinning them there until they calm the fuck down

anytime Tanaka gets too heated, Enno just shows up and blows out his fire 

Hinata:

ok so i kinda spoiled earlier

but airbender

i know airbending is defensive and Hinata sucks at that aspect, but his personality man, airbender all the way

again imagine him and Noya zooming on air scooters around

they would be a MENANCE

but also in the same sense, airbending is all about finding a way around the “normal” way of fighting (they refuse to harm anything is what i mean)

Hinata had to find his own way of fighting in volleyball and yeah…airbender  

possibly bc he’s a bit of an airhead too  

Kageyama:

WATERBENDER BUT WITH BLOODBENDING BACKGROUND

ok hear me out

he used to want to control people and make them do what he wants, otherwise get rid of them bc they’re useless and who needs ‘em

but then he meets this stupid, bounce off the walls, airbender who he doesn’t need to control bc this kid already does what he couldnt find in anyone else

and he slowly learns to stop using bloodbending, sometimes slips and lapses, but for the most part has left that part of him behind

also water is the element of change and Kageyama certainly goes through a major change in character throughout Haikyuu

everytime Hina and him fight, they make a snowstorm that nobody can stop and it pisses Tsukki off bc he can’t do anything about it

Tsukki: (props to Lake for this one)

tsukki why are you an enigma

nonbender and is a sword master 

with his ability to analyze and control, he would heckin destroy 

sword fights are a lot about watching your opponent and being able to make a quick decision to block or counter attack 

he can definitely make decisions at the drop of a hat and his strategies work and work well 

Yamaguchi:

THIS BOY

IS A WATERBENDER BUT SPECIALIZES IN HEALING

when Karasuno needs him most!!! he’s there!! ready to help and get his team back on his feet, in this sense by healing them

and also like Suga, mirroring Katara, don’t fuck with him. especially when it comes to Tsukki

AGAIN like Katara/Suga, mom friend, there to support all the time and bust in and help when needed

More teams under the cut!

Aoba Johsai:

Oikawa:

so there’s a bit of a trend here i see

but Oikawa would also be a waterbender, i guess it’s a setter thing

water is the element of change and Oikawa adjusts his setting style and approach for each of his team members to bring out the best of them

waterbenders let their defense become their offense turning their opponents own forces against them which i think fits Oikawa to a T

can make ice spikes he can throw long distances with scary accurate precision

like, one can just zip past your ear, and you dont see him anywhere where tf is he?!

Iwaizumi: 

i couldn’t decide between firebender and earthbender

so i went with the lovely mix, lavabender 

just like Toph, Iwa shows his affection through some sort of violence, but thats just cause he cares a lot

oikawa has mastered the art of distinguishing flaming hunks of smoldering rock thrown at his face

also stubborn unmoving like a rock

and when he gets heated, he is fired up

and finally, arms. where did he get ‘em? throwing boulders around. 

Shiratorizawa:

Ushijima:

metalbender, bc he’s definitely an earth bender but there’s something special about him

he’s a little dense (ok maybe not a little)

Earthbenders are generally muscular, tough and direct AND HELLO. thats Ushijima in a nutshell 

Tendou:

our guess monster is definitely a non-bender

like ty lee specializes in chi-blocking 

he can disrupt someones chi pretty easily making them completely helpless 

sometimes he does it to be funny 

like make Ushi’s right arm useless for a day 

and Ushi is like “Tendou. I don’t use that arm anyways.” 

“i knoooooooow Wakatoshi thats the point!”

which for some reason Tendou thinks is hilarious cause now he really cant use it 

Semi:

firebender

mainly bc of his hotheaded and competitive behavior 

his desire to show his abilities in his words is “uncontainable” and that kind of made me think of Azula 

wants to show off and be the best 

Shirabu:

so although Shirabu is also extremely hot-headed, he hits me as a waterbender too 

maybe just because every single setter so far has been a waterbender but its just my gut feeling 🤷

Nekoma:

Kuroo:

firebender but can lightning bend

dont ask me why it just seems right

he has the concentration and flow it takes to lightning bend, i mean he has that whole speech he gives to his team before every game 

“We're like the blood in our veins. We must flow without stopping. Keep the oxygen moving and your mind working.” 

and while this may lead to possibly thinking he could be a waterbender, he uses his knack for fluid motion and deceptive strength for a different purpose

not only can he lightning bend, he can redirect lightning which takes an immense amount of skill and is drawn from waterbending techniques

maybe its also the hair cause it looks like he got hit by lightning

Kenma:

ill be honest, i dont think Kenma would be a bender

what he would be ilike is Sokka, super smart, the strategizer, the man with the plan

who people look to for the next step, the brain of the operation

and i dont think he’d necessarily have a speciality besides overwhelming ability to observe and make decisions

so basically…he’d be the same LOL

Yaku:

earthbender

being small (dont kick me Yaku) means nothing (uhh have you seen Toph?)

super dependable and not gunna take anyone’s shit

Yamamoto:

Tanaka’s counterpart

his homeboy

his fellow firebender

both ready to throwdown at a moments notice

Fukurodani: (wow i suck i dont know anyone well enough but these two)

Bokuto:

did someone say airbender??

i just keep imagining he was the one to teach Hinata the air scooter and they fuckin zoom around while Bokuto is hollering at the top of his lungs

his hair already looks winblown, like he just stepped off his glider and doesn’t bother to fix it

also im cackling bc airbenders prefer evasive manuevers and…i keep thinking about that time he ran away from a block and Akaashi called him out for it

Akaashi: (ily Lake for helping)

so apparently setters are waterbenders

bc this boy is definitely one

he has nice fingers (weird i know) but i can see him just making these beautiful hand motions to bend water and hnngg yes

ok but in a more real way, waterbenders have strong fluid motion and understand those around them, they believe in very strong connections between individuals 

so even when Bo is out of the game, Fukurodani doesn’t fall apart because they have strong connections and can survive without him 

[ofmermaidsandmarauders]

happy jilytober! 

this is my jilychallenge for this month. hope you enjoy :)

“ he knows he shouldnt have gone back to her but he really cant help himself. kissing her in a dark corridor was a bad idea, granted. but he wasnt sure that he could keep going through this emotional turmoil if she didnt even acknowledge him in public' secret relationship au with a little bit of the lily hates james trope”

Another corridor. Another heat of the moment argument. Another regret. James watches as Lily walks away.

He swore to himself that he wouldn’t do this again. There wasn’t going to be another fight in some empty hallway for them to be distracted. He was sick of being treated like dirt, yet everytime he was alone with Lily, something sparked inside of him. Her mouth covered his and it was like all of those past promises to himself just faded away.

Passion and fire and hope. At just the thought of her smile directed at him, hope burst in the pit of James’ stomach, spreading through his body like it was running on that energy. James could run a marathon on Lily-smile-energy.

Yet, somehow he ended up here, alone, attempting to fix himself up as he sorted out his thoughts.

-

“Lily, can we talk?” James approached the table in the library as her face looked up. Annoyance was written all over her features as she set her quill down.

“What, Potter?” Her friends looked on, waiting for the entertainment to begin. They could always count on Lily and James to provide something to gossip about later on.

“I wanted to know if you still needed help with the transfiguration essay? I have time after supper if you want to meet back here?” He shuffled on his feet, pushing his hand through his hair as she watched anger flash through her eyes.

“As if I’d need your help, Potter.” Lily rolled her eyes and laughed before lifting her quill back up. “I’ll be in the library after supper, if you need help with potions, feel free to stop by.”

The look in her eyes gave her away. James knew that later that evening he’d be huddled in a back corner of the library with Lily Evans, providing her with help on her transfiguration homework. He wasn’t sure why exactly he wasn’t putting up a fight, but as he walked away, he knew that she had once again made him look like a fool in front of their peers, just to allow her to save face.

Sure enough, James found himself nestled at a table near the restricted section of the library. Most students would be asleep or lounging in their common rooms at this time. Instead, he found himself waiting for Lily to join him.

“Hi, James.” Her voice was soft as she slid into the seat beside him. “Thank you for meeting me here.” Lily dropped her bag onto the floor beside them and then pulled out a roll of parchment as well as her transfiguration book.

James stayed silent as he finished off the last thoughts he had, rolling his own parchment back up before taking out a spare piece in case he needed to make notes. “It’s fine. Let’s just get this moving. We shouldn’t both be away for so long; people will get suspicious.” His voice held a bitter tone as he flipped her book to the correct page, then began instructing her on the most recent transfiguration lesson.

About halfway through the lesson, Lily’s hand had ended up on the back of James neck and was toying with some of his hair, her free hand scribbling notes onto parchment.

“Okay, I think this is a good stopping point.” James moved slightly to the side so that her hand  dropped from his hair. He felt guilty for a split second but then remembered the way she had treated him in front of her friends earlier.

“Let’s pack up.” He stood abruptly, placing his books into the bag he had used to carry them.

“Look, James. I need to apologize for earlier. It was incredibly rude of me. I just get defensive that my friends will be able to tell how I feel about you if they see how I look at you or something.” Lily’s eyes looked genuinely concerned, but it just made James feel more frustrated.

“I mean, I don’t even know how you feel, Lily. And I’m not sure how your friends would figure it out if I can’t.” He sounded exasperated as he looked at her. While she sat in the seat, he towered over her which made him feel a little more powerful in this situation. The moment Lily stood up, he lost that feeling of being in control of himself.

Lily looked to be in deep thought for a moment before pressing her lips to James’ own. It was quick but she knew exactly how much a kiss from her would mean to him. “That’s the only way I can express to you how much you mean to me, James. I can’t put it into words.”

James smiled slightly as he pulled away, but for some reason he didn’t feel like the knot in his stomach had eased any.

-

“Sirius, I need to tell you something.” James looked stressed as he paced the boys’ dormitory. Remus and Peter had snuck out to grab them snacks, leaving the two boys alone for the time being.

��Yeah?” Sirius didn’t seem to be hearing James’ tone because he continued to make bubbles and smoke appear from the end of his wand, attempting to entertain himself.

“I think Lily’s playing me.” At those words, Sirius dropped his wand and turned his attention to James fully.

“Mate, what are you talking about? Lily wants nothing to do with you.”

“Exactly, when other people are around she wants nothing to do with me. The minute we’re alone, she’s touching me and kissing me. She treats me like absolute dirt when her friends are around but she acts like I’m the love of her life when we’re alone. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” Sirius was about to roll his eyes when he gave a quick glance towards James’ face and knew that he was really struggling with this.

“Well, I don’t know, mate. I guess you’ve just got to see how she feels about you.” James let out an agonized sigh as he realized that Sirius’ advice was useless.

“Wow, thanks a lot, mate. What lot of good you’ve done me.” He finally settled onto the side of his bed after pacing a hole into the floor. “I’m never going to figure Lily Evans out.”

-

Lily glanced up to see James coming and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Mind if I sit here?” He asked her, a grin on his face as she nodded. James slid into the seat across from her in the Great Hall, letting his foot nudge hers beneath the table. Her eyes met his and he felt his heart start to pound harder in his chest as they began to chat about the upcoming lessons.

“Lily? James?” One of Lily’s friends from Ravenclaw approached the table, causing her to immediately pull her foot back from pressing into his. Her gaze went cold as she turned to look at James, narrowing her eyes slightly. There was a look in her eyes that caused a chill to run down his spine.

“Hey!” He continued to speak in a bright tone, smiling at the blonde girl as she settled down next to James.

“Is everything okay?” Elizabeth looked confused as to why James was a sudden staple during their breakfast chat. “More charms help, James?” She looked a bit smug as she giggled to herself.

“No, actua-” James was cut off by Lily almost immediately. “No, no. James was actually just passing on a message from Marlene that she’ll be running late to breakfast and then we started discussing the test today. That’s all.” Lily shot James a look that he should keep his mouth shut. It was clear that he was no longer welcome at the table.  

“Bye, Lily. See you in class.”

-

“James, can we talk out in the hall?” LIly’s voice broke through his study trance, though James nodded and packed up his belongings. She led him out of the library and through the twisted hallways of Hogwarts. After some time, they were hidden in a dark corridor set near the kitchens.

“I need to apologize for this morning. I shouldn’t have shooed you away like that. It’s just that… Liz can be a bit judgmental and you know she still resents you a bit ever since Gryffindor slaughtered Ravenclaw’s quidditch team.” Lily’s excuse was weak and she knew that. It was written all over her face.

“C’mon Lily. That’s not fair. I’ve told you I liked you and you just keep doing this! I don’t want to sneak around anymore. I want to be able to hold your hand on the way to class. I want to be able to kiss you while we study and not worry about people seeing us.” James turned around in front of her before letting stop him. She attempted to lean up and kiss him again. For a moment, James leaned into the kiss and allowed it to happen. He quickly stopped it, despite not wanting to. “No, no!” He pulled himself away fully, shaking his head and huffed.

“Lily, I can’t do this anymore! It’s not fair and you know that. And until you can pull your head out of your arse, I’m not doing it either.” Lily looked like she wanted to fight him on it but James held a hand up. “No, I’m done, Lily.” He turned, slinging his back back over his shoulder and stormed away.

Another corridor. Another heat of the moment argument. Another regret. Lily watches as James walks away.

[simkjrs]

assorted fic/msa asks

Anonymous said: msa izuku while an Official Of The Law tries to stop him from doing his usual cryptic stunts: hey where can i go to file a complaint? its not formal. fuck you.

this is just the right level of irritation, sarcasm, and wit to come straight from msa izuku’s mouth. i love that

Anonymous said: someone asks msa izuku what he wants to be when he grows up. he stares at the floor angrily. "a concept. if even that," he says. no one knows how to respond. the silence stretches.

god this is PRISTINE. the silence stretches. im laughing you’ve captured the quintessential msa izuku experience!!!

Anonymous said: msa izuku's saving grace yet achille's attention-pulling heel is his ability to circumvent the powers people use to attack him, linear narratives, and any expectations placed on him

nfljsdfjsd yeah. his greatest strength and greatest weakness... it’s so funny to write. i love it

Anonymous said:  kirishima: deku we actually dont want to screw you over msa izuku: that sounds fake but ok

YEP! thats pretty much it

Anonymous said: Thinking about the wording of MSA!Izuku's deal with Kirishima, Kirishima might actually be able to take advantage of Izuku abusing the wording of the deal. So Kirishima could use the fact that he literaly cannot keep Izuku anywhere and that Izuku could ditch at any time in order to have an actual conversation with him. After all, Izuku always has a way out.

you fucking got me there. completely nailed it

Anonymous said: does msa iz/uku have to deal with shitty dreams too? like trauma from spirit shenanigans comes back to bite him in the ass in his sleep?

yeah there sure is a lot of trauma going around. like, look at this comment i got from crossy, i feel like this is one of the funniest things anyone has ever said about msa

Anonymous said: Okay... blink if the adult supervision in MSA is Aizawa....

you all know me so well!! fucking called me out!!!

Anonymous said: eyy u know that art u made of ritsu on ur art blog, "ritsu's range of normal human emotions?" the part where it said disattached from the social dogma? i imagines that as ur msa!izuku and skdnfsj o h m y g o d

im laughing!!! youre completely right. i need to redraw the panel now

Anonymous said: where is izuku's guardian spirit, you ask? theory: izuku is his own guardian spirit. he finds out and "well i must be doing a pretty shitty job. i hate myself. bye"

Anonymous said: ..... izuku is a gaurdian spirit but his ""quirk"" is being alive...... thats why getting his quirk shut off by eraserhead compeltely shut his body off

YOU ARE... almost completely correct

Anonymous said: since msa mido is like half a quirk himself does that mean he's his own guardian spirit? because if that was true and you told him that he would be so so tired. "my life's a sick joke already but thanks for that addition" or something. this poor child.

that’s pretty much the mindset he wakes up with every day!

Anonymous said: Ok so idk if im the only one who does this but whenever i read fanfic/any kind of writing i kinda come up with like a general color palette that fits with the whole story or like colors from a certain time of day or somethin as a general base for any fanart i might make for the thing but for Byggualom i imagine pinkish, orangey golden sunset colors with hints of plant greens and reds and for msa i imagine a lot of things happening in almost completely grayscale with gold highlights and-(1)

(2)- surreal moments where a bright/contrasting color is present(like the scene where the fox spirit appeared with the red eyes against the silver fur

that’s really cool! i love the sunset colors for byggualom, and the black and white is certainly a fitting ominous atmosphere for msa :^) 

Anonymous said: of fucking course fucking msa/villain izuku was there, MSA/villain fucking Izuku is always there. it’s like one of those universal laws of reality. whenever life takes a turn for the utterly insane, and or disturbingly lethal, msa/villain izuku is somehow right in the middle of it. looking innocent. like a fluffy bunny rabbit. with an innocent look in its eyes and an entire city reduced to rubble in the background, on fire. (I did both b/c I love both the dysfunctional dorks(and both made sense

i think this is more applicable to villain izuku. msa izuku will also be there in the middle of whatever chaos is happening, but he will not look innocent, he will look pissed and tired. you think YOU’RE tired of this bullshit? hah! you should hear about what he’s been doing all day. and no he’s not going to tell you, he’s just going to gripe about it endlessly while also furiously trying to fix everything that went wrong. 

other than that... this is rlly good. i love that. thanks for sending it in

Anonymous said: since i found out u listen to sea wolf the song "spirit horse" has just been violently playing in the background when i think of msa like thanks (not even sarcastically i love seawolf)

hell yeah, love that.... the song’s a bit too horse-y for me to put it on my msa playlist but you know what? its good

Anonymous said: Hey! Just wanted to let you know I ADORE your writing. Your OPM AU (that's what I always call it, I can never remember the acronym) is amazing and I've reread it twice. I decided to give your MSA story a try the other day and I LOVED that one as well. I was initially hoping for a OPM AU update but now I'm psyched as hell for MSA. Thank you so much for your amazing work. Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy both stories :) Have a great day

thank you! i’m happy you enjoy both fics so much <3 

Anonymous said: hi you’re an amazing artist/writer and I hope you have a great day :)

thank you!! i have been having some pretty great days, which is nice, i hope you are doing well too!

Anonymous said: ive reread msa for the like 5th time today and just wanted to tell you what an awesome job you did and i absolutely adore it and hope you have an amazing week!!!

i cant believe you’ve read it so many times!!! i’m glad you like it so much, and i hope you have a great week as well!

Anonymous said: Hey, *finger guns*, I really love your writing!

well guess what... i love you,

Anonymous said: All your stories are so good! I cryyyyy x

thanks! im crying also

Anonymous said: I'm so fucken hyped for literally all you bnha fan-fiction/head-cannons like seriously how do you even come up with ALL of it?!?!?!

mostly i just... actively put characters into situations that i think would be hilarious, or dream up bits of dialogue that spur me to craft an entire backstory just so i can lead up to the one moment. helps to have friends who encourage you to become increasingly unhinged from canon though.

Anonymous said: have *clap* a *clap* nice *clap* day

you too! 

Anonymous said: Okay you prolly get this loads but I freaking love everything you write! Everything is written so well and I die every time you update bc it's so good! I will happily wait five years to read any new chapter if it's written this well okay I'm rambling I love you have a nice day!

this is so nice.... thank you.... 

Anonymous said: HOLY SHIT, ANOTHER NONBINARY FIC WRITER!!! YO WHATS UP!!! WE'RE A P RARE BREED... HELL YEAH THOUGH!!! UR FICS R SUPER COOL UR SUCH A BIG INSPIRATION TO ME!! I HOPE U HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY + YOU NEVER GET WRITERS BLOCK + YOUR HANDS NEVER CRAMP UP!!!

hello there!!! it’s fantastic to see you!!!! hell yeah [i try to dab but accidentally knock over the stack of papers on my desk instead]

Anonymous said: Hey, I just wanted to say that I think you're doing a really super job with trying to write and do school at the same time. I know (personally) that it's really hard to do even WITHOUT extra stuff piling on top, but you handle the blog with a lot of humor and clumsy grace and I just wanted to let you know that you brighten up my day a lot. Thanks! I hope you do really well!!!!!!

hey! thank you, i put a lot of effort into running this blog, as can be evidenced by the week-long stretches of time between short bursts of activity

seriously though... thanks... i appreciate this ask a lot. hope you’re doing well!

Anonymous said: I just wanna say thank you! MSA Izuku gives me life XDDD

hell yeah! im glad to hear that

Anonymous said: dunno bout you or anyone else, but i see your izukus as homoromantic demisexual(s), just wanted to share

nice... 

im cool w/ whatever as long as it adheres to my one guideline which is that izuku is a mlm

[estherroberts]

june barlowe

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts​​ , @podcastmecaptain, and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today though, it’s @estherroberts especially. (that’s me!)

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

this is one of many individualized advanced PLACEMENT works, for the stories of each character involved. we each picked three kids to write about, and this is the second one of mine! without further ado, here’s june! 

june and her family are from california

specifically, a little suburb outside of los angeles

her childhood as far as she can remember is pretty great

she’s been playing viola since she was little

she has an older brother who plays football, they pretty much stay out of each other’s way

her parents both make a lot of money, but her father gets this wild idea that they absolutely have to move back to the town his grandfather was from, and he and his wife always work from home anyway  

of course, it’s point-of-exile, CO

and to june, it does feel like an exile, because she is leaving everything and everyone behind

june barlowe is 14 years old when they move, and she has lived her life blissfully believing that she is a heterosexual. she does not, in fact, really spend much time thinking about it

sure, there were gays in la. but did she have reason to talk to them? or consider that she might be one? not really

june is tiny her freshman year. tiny and scrappy and already angry, tho at what, sometimes she doesnt even know

it’s the first day, and she’s in orchestra, 6th period. she might be new to the school but she’s been playing viola for years and she knows if she cant make friends anywhere else she’ll at least have the strings

and helen, though new to high school, is not new to the kids, or somehow, the band room, or the teacher

and june is just kinda floored by her, because she’s literally so beautiful and confident and so out of june’s idea of normal that june is just like, what. the fuck.

and helen asks her what she plays and she says viola and helens eyes light up because she heard all the violists graduated and they needed new ones and sorry dear what was your name again

and june says june, and helen says, “that’s my favorite month” and june is just, like, dead

helen asks june to come to lunch with her and they talk about everything and everyone and it doesn’t take long before they already know each other’s life stories and have moved on to gossiping about everyone else

june, because she’s june and she’s cis, puts her foot in her mouth multiple times during the course of this conversation and but helen can see that she’s trying and helen is helen, even at 14, and so she explains something and gently tells june when she’s said something offensive

and june, tho performative in most of her emotions, manages to keep her cool and just nods and takes in helen’s corrections

they become friends really really fast

three months into their friendship they have their first downton abbey tea shit-talking session at helen’s house and it’s the most fun june has ever had

they make it a weekly ritual and alternate between their houses, at first with some raised eyebrows from june’s parents, but they learn to hide their judgement lest they risk incurring june’s already protective fury

or helen’s cool superiority

sophomore year things start to get rough at june’s house

her parents fight all the time and she hides in her room and practices viola as loud as she can so that she doesn’t hear them anymore

but it never works

her older brother sometimes comes into check on her but he’s kind of a stoner so he isn’t too much help

and she gets worse grades and her parents are Disappointed and she gets angrier

she starts having trouble keeping all that anger inside of her

she doesn’t have the motivation or the dedication to work on improving her performance in school, the only thing she wants to do is work on her music

she still has weekly tea with helen, and when she’s done ranting about her parents she listens to helen talk about her first girlfriend, the one who later goes to boarding school

and june starts to wonder if the fluttery feeling that never goes away when she’s with helen is, well, if it’s a crush

because it certainly feels like one

she tries pushing it to the back of her mind

tries to pretend it’s not there but

she can’t really hide it from herself anymore

june’s parents, who could never stand to have a daughter make her career in the arts, push her to take up a sport

she joins track, and meets quentin, and god help her he is the cutest button ever and so smart and she helps him train and he helps her with science and he promises to join orchestra the next year

everyone on the track team ships them

early in june’s junior year, they start going out

he always pulls out chairs and holds open doors for her

he’s always ready with a sarcastic quip under his breath, usually intended for just her ears

he doesn’t flinch away from her sharp edges, literally or metaphorically, and neither is he afraid to be soft around her

and somehow, she kind of relaxes into that

they get along sooo well and there’s a Lot of physical chemistry too and she’s just, she can’t believe she’s lucky enough to be with someone like him, someone as good and generous and stable as him and someone who makes her laugh the way he does and-

and june is happy with quentin, really truly happy

and she tries to tell herself that this is enough, that this is all she needs

it almost works.

but god damn she’s still getting butterflies when helen plays with her hair, or holds her hand, or tells her she’s beautiful

and one afternoon they’re watching like a gay movie or something at helen’s and june is upside down on the couch with her head dangling off and she says “hey, helen”  "yeah?“  "i think i’m bisexual” “that’s delightful!” “thanks”

(a side note here, if you’re wondering how helen sees her best friend june:

in helen’s eyes, june is so so full of life and passionate and she gets invested in everything and she’s impulsive and impatient and furious and so so powerful

and she loves deep and hates deeper and holds grudges and fights terfs and homophobes on the internet and goes after her goals and never holds back

and sometimes, when june’s with quentin, or laying on the couch, her legs in helens lap and clutching a pillow, sometimes, she melts

and helen melts too )

and that’s pretty much it and things proceed as normal for them

and june, who is both literally and figuratively growing into herself (shes v tol now) looks online at all the bisexual resources available to her and consumes them all

she comes out to quentin too and they have a “i’m bi!” “i’m a demi guy!” moment and it brings them a lot closer together

they jump up and down

it’s fucking adorable

more on this in the quentin section

it’s early senior year now and helen and anthony are together and june’s working retail and still doing track and still playing viola and her grades are still less than ideal

and things are still rly hard at home

she can’t sleep because sometimes she hears plates breaking or cabinets getting punched

she wishes there was something she could do to fix things for her family but she can’t think of anything expect to literally plead with them to get a divorce

her brother has moved out and now there is no buffer, any anger her parents harbor at each other gets thrown onto her

so not only do her parents fight with each other, now they’re fighting with her

and then of course,

the mornings are the worst

they are wrought with passive aggressive sugary sweet falsities that make june want to literally rip her hair out

she can hear the venom seeping into her parents voices, she knows they can hear it in each other’s

so why are they pretending everything’s okay?

why??

june doesn’t really deal with any of this well at all

she gets in fights at school a lot, she argues with her teachers

sometimes she just really wants to inflict pain in anyway she can and she doesn’t know why or how and it hurts her too

her friendship with the gang, however, is now fully formed. she loves them all so much? it’s ridiculous to her, that she could care about that many people?? but she does. she so does. even though most of them are so nerdy it physically hurts her.

she is FIERCELY protective of all of them, and so even though she shows no outward affection to most of them, they know she cares

one time some a-hole was talking with his buddies, throwing around all kinds of slurs with regards to esther and bridget

and june just kinda let her fists fly (again)

she got in trouble at home and at school for that

so lately she tries to defend her friends with her words

but it’s so much easier to just sort of, LOOM over assholes until they start crying

at one point, her and quentin both want to try kissing other people but they don’t want to break up so they have what they call The Kissing Week and reported back to each other on the quality of kissing

and eventually, she gathers up the courage to ask him if he’d be down for a poly kinda set up, ever, and he shrugs bc he’s an easy going guy and is like “seriously, that’d be rad, like i love you but if you feel like you want to explore other options go for it”

and she’s like "i love you too, so so much”

and leaves for helen’s

the distance from helen’s to june’s is not a normal person walking distance but june is not a normal person, and she is running after texting quentin to make absolutely sure he’s okay with this harebrained scheme

she has some series of vivaldi concerto playing in her headphones and she’s already halfway there before she notices and she has to stop bc she’s doubled over laughing

and like, she can’t believe she’s really doing this, i mean sure things are kind of already poly on helen’s side, what with the weird nerd thing anthony and sally have so it’s not that she thinks helen will be weirded out by that it’s just that it’s been three years and some change and she’s risking SO much on this and she’s finally saying something, and, vivaldi is still playing

she doesn’t have the heart to change the song after that and so she keeps running

and so she shows up at helen’s and she’s like, one of those gross people who looks more beautiful after they work out

and she takes out her headphones and she’s like, apologizing for being out of breath and helen’s like, “you have a REALLY nice car and you RAN here.”

and june’s like, “i had to????”

and she comes in and helen already has their tea ready and it’s done just the way june likes it and they sit down at the table and june is like, shaking. she won’t even pick up her cup bc she knows it’ll rattle too much

and helen knows something’s up and she doesn’t say anything she just picks up june’s hands and holds them to steady them

and june says “helen, i- i didn’t really think this through, because i don’t think anything through, but, i’m here and i might as well just,”

she takes a deep breath, “i’ve kind of been a little in love with you, like, forever? and it wasn’t until last year that i realized how much and then i was with quentin and then you were anthony and things were really good and i didn’t want to ruin it but then like, it occured to me that it could be possible to have both ? maybe? if you want that? and if not that’s okay and if i tanked my relationship my favorite person in the world i’m so sorry,“

and helen, who has not let go of her hands, is smiling her shining heavenly smile

and she says "darling, it certainly took you long enough”

and june, for the first time in her memory, cries

and they spend the rest of the afternoon cuddled on the couch and they don’t talk as much but helen does text to make sure it’s okay with anthony, who just sends back

“finally”

(ofc helen told anthony that she liked june ages ago. he’s as observant as a brick he had no idea june liked helen too)

(but sort of like how she knew june was bi before june did, she didn’t say anything to her bc june is the kind of person who can’t be told things, she has to go her own way (which is the slow way)))

(but helen is a goddess and she has the patience of a saint so she waited, and boy did it pay off)

additional june things:

june is really good at time management

she’s also very tall- that’s the first thing you notice about her. the second thing you notice is that she’s rich.

you know this because of her sunglasses, her purse, the way she stands, the way she looks down her nose at you like she’s just a litttttle more important than you are

she has a lot of hair. it is long and luxurious and curly and it falls around her face when she pushes her sunglasses to the top of her head

she’s kind of streamlined, like, aerodynamically efficient? like she toned herself to cut through the air and probably your face

she wears her hair down in school and up when she works out and when she is nervous she twirls and twirls and twirls

and her tinted lenses she uses for reading do not come with her to school because she is afraid of exposing weakness

she has greenish blue eyes and she doesn’t break a stare and her eyebrows are always perfect

she dresses half masculine and half feminine

she loves white tank tops and jeans but also

soft floral dresses and blouses

she really likes combat boots

she 100% owns her position as the Dad Friend

bridget got her a shirt that says “Dad Bod on fleek” and she wears it unironically

this also means she does view all her younger friends as her kids and absolutely responds to “dad” or “pops”

she recently developed a close friendship with anthony but neither of them will ever admit that’s what it is

they have, surprisingly, a lot in common

when it gets rough at home they meet at the gym to box

anthony brings gatorade and june brings music

fighting each other is better than getting in fights at school, of course

(helen is the one who made them both get gym memberships and she is quietly very happy that the two of them hang out, even if they’ve never exchanged a single nice word)

one time june tricked anthony into buying three matches from her at five dollars each

one time anthony “accidentally” gave june a black eye

june and sally tolerate each other, which mostly includes them making fun of each other’s heights

her and esther are finally in a good place too

and there is no one better to plan a prank with than jack wyatt

june is still kind of in shock that she’s dating two perfect humans

despite her haughty and conceited attitude she sometimes wonders if she even deserves them

but they remind her that she does and she is happy

though the dynamic is really so different with each one

oh and OF COURSE quentin and helen never have any reason to be jealous of each other

they know that june has enough love to give for both of them

[gaymantle]

@commanderfraya recced six of crows to me and I finished it and crooked kingdom in three days so ofc the first thing we discussed was dumb aus

kitkat: can we just kitkat: take a moment kitkat: to imagine the six (or seven if we include kuwei) of them playing dnd

Not An Egg: kuwei joins in the middle of the campaign and doesn't know how dnd works

kitkat: kuwei: i throw a potion at the dragon matthias, patiently: the dragon is breathing fire you cant get close enough to-kuwei: i ROLL TO THROW A POTION THROUGH THE FLAME, INTO THE DRAGON'S NOSTRIL, WHERE IT WILL COMBUST AND RELEASE TOXIC FUMES matthias, less patiently: u have to get a nat 20 kuwei: fucking try me bitch kitkat: i dont know why matthias is the DM in my head except that matthias as the DM is objectively the funniest scenario besides maybe jesper being the DM 

Not An Egg: jesper: I roll to seduce the DM. matthias: jesper no. nina: JESPER YES. 

kitkat: fnfnghh kitkat: ok but jesper as the DM makes kaz roll nat 20s to do anything. if he doesnt roll a nat 20 he suffers some kind of disastrous consequence. no matter what the action is. kaz tries to eat a sandwich and chokes to death and has to fight his way back to the party from the spirit realm kitkat: i dont know how dnd works but im imagining this happens 

Not An Egg: oh m ygOD 

kitkat: jesper: if the player can stand in the corner and be silent for 20 minutes he can exit the spirit realm kaz: I WONT STAND FOR THIS jesper: roll to face the wraith in this cave inej: wait i know its an npc monster but can i be the wraith jesper: sure inej: i roll to eat the player kaz: inej how could you inej: I ROLL TO EAT THE PLAYER [kaz rolls a 16] [inej rolls a 4] jesper: tragically, kaz, you needed a nat20 to survive this encounter, so- 

Not An Egg: im cyrign jespser n o 

kitkat: kaz tries to commit a mutiny by starting his own campaign in the middle of the first campaign except no one joins him so it's just him and his characters lonely journey out of the spirit realm, which was what it was to begin with kitkat: wylan: i roll to hit the boss jesper: oh no, you dont need to roll for that, youve already defeated him wylan: what. its the final boss jesper: but as we all know you are beautiful and perfect and capable everyone else: [nodding sagely] sounds solid kitkat: kaz: the DM is biased. someone fix this. where is the rulebook jesper: who here thinks im biased. inej. inej ur the most objective one. do u think im biased inej: no. please banish my boyfriend to hell again 

Not An Egg: kaz: it says here right in the rulebook - jesper: I can't read suddenly, I don't know. wylan: wow. 

kitkat: gOD. kitkat: jesper: wylan can be official rulekeeper kaz: HE CANT READ THE RULEBOOK jesper: WHY ARE YOU MAKING WYLAN FEEL INSECURE ABOUT HIS DISABILITY YOU MONSTER kitkat: jesper: wylan can do anything he sets his mind to kaz: i kNOW BUT HE CANT READ THE RULEBOOK wylan: [places a gentle hand on kaz's shoulder] it's okay, dad. i'll persevere. for the game kitkat: kaz can't tell if he's serious. inej and nina are both making faces and expressive hand gestures behind kaz's back 

Not An Egg: kaz: HE'S NOT INSECURE. wylan: I'm insecure. I'm so insecure I'm about to cry. kaz: I can't believe you would betray me, your own father, 

kitkat: wylan: [giving kaz the most pitiful look he can muster] i really wanted someday to be able to mediate a game of dnd. it was on the list of important things to me kaz: you come into my house, 

Not An Egg: inej: I know it's hard to let the children go. kaz: But - inej: Wylan is a grown boy, Kaz. Let him make his own choices. kaz: -inarticulate noise of rage- wylan: I'll make you proud, dad. 

kitkat: matthias: [clapping both wylan and kaz on the shoulders] youve both come so far as men kaz: SPLUTTERING NOISE OF RAGE 

Not An Egg: kaz: I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now 

kitkat: i like to imagine matthias during these games looks completely and utterly serene the entire time whether he's playing or DMing but every half hour or so he politely excuses himself from the table so he can go outside and bust a gut laughing

Not An Egg: GOD. Not An Egg: yes. 

kitkat: every time matthias DMs nina makes extra sure to have her character seduce anything and everything that they pass, regardless of whether it furthers the plot. including the trees 

Not An Egg: nina and jesper team up to seduce every monster they come across

kitkat: every time they both get a good seduction roll the group skips the monster fight and the monster joins their traveling harem kitkat: inej: can we not call it a harem nina: our traveling orgy band of loving consensual monster sex 

Not An Egg: oh my god 

kitkat: matthias passes out immediately 

Not An Egg: oh m yg o d Not An Egg: the harem helps with other monsters Not An Egg: kaz is in charge of playing the harem Not An Egg: he takes his responsibility very seriously 

kitkat: kaz plots the campaign for sixty hours and then no one does anything he planned kitkat: kaz spends fifty hours rendering the harem monsters varying and complete array of seduction skills

Not An Egg: matthias: I cannot believe you, of everyone, is participating in this lewd, inappropriate - kaz: they're a good investment.

kitkat: THEY'RE A GOOD INVESTMENT kitkat: nina: one of them should jizz acid kaz: [thoughtfully stroking his chin and nodding] a solid weapon to add to the arsenal

Not An Egg: kaz and matthias argue for 20 minutes whether kinky monster sex should be a drain on stamina.

kitkat: omg kitkat: the real question is whos arguing which side 

Not An Egg: "maybe the jizz can make you stronger." everyone turns to stare at kuwei. 

kitkat: kuwei is the guy whos mostly silent except to offer. this kitkat: i feel like kuwei would be in his element dissecting the potential properties of monster jizz 

Not An Egg: fcuk 

kitkat: kuwei starts rambling about legitimately scientific shit they could incorporate and matthias is equal parts horrified and fascinated

Not An Egg: nina: what about the monsters who don't jizz kuwei: perhaps monster sex is a ritual and grants you boosts or powers. kaz: hmmmmmm Not An Egg: kuwei: sperm contains sugars and carbohydrates. but then, penetrative sex does require a lot of energy. perhaps ingesting it- matthias looks like he's about to pass out.

kitkat: nina: [nodding thoughtfully] so we should draw up charts about the potential healing versus destructive properties of both oral and penetrative sex kitkat: wylan pretends not to notice jespers hand is not so stealthily creeping up his thigh kitkat: jespers the kind of disaster whod get legitimately turned on by his friends discussing monster sex reblog if you agree kitkat: jesper: i need to go use the bathroom wylan: i swear to fucking christ

Not An Egg: kuwei is smirking Not An Egg: He Knows

kitkat: kuwei, making uncomfortable eye contact with jesper from the other side of the room: and then the monster penises, the very large monster penises,

Not An Egg: wylan: [whispering] stop flustering my boyfriend. kuwei: I'm just contributing to the discussion. nina: what are you talking about? wylan, squeaking: NOTHING

kitkat: no one actually gets anything done during the campaigns because by the time theyve written out all the different kinds of monster penises theyve forgotten what the campaign was about to begin with

Not An Egg: wylan draws diagrams. very detailed diagrams. Not An Egg: wylan: i am not comfortable with this. kaz: it's for the sake of accuracy.

kitkat: jesper: i am exceedingly comfortable with this wylan: [flustering] no one asked you

Not An Egg: inej: I wonder how much people would pay for actual porn of this. kaz: $$.$$ matthias: inEJ NO inej: I'm just saying, we spent so much time on this, it'd be a waste to just throw it all away.

kitkat: inej: turns out i am absolutely fine exploiting the sexualities of cartoon monsters with large penises. who knew nina: YESSSSSS WE ARE GOING TO CAPITALIZE ON THIS SO HARD 

Not An Egg: matthias has to go lie down

kitkat: honestly they just bring a matthias lie down blanket and water bottle with them to the campaigns kitkat: it's pretty much inevitable