#(Rana is working with her to help break the habit)

[poisonouspastels]

actually im kind of thinking abt how all the main players in the AU are probably way more mentally Not Great than it may appear at first

[rivertoasty]

Star Wars: Revelations Tech x Natelyte

Now Revised

This is the first sexual encounter between these two characters in a series I am writing based on the aftermath of TCW.

I revised this encounter because after re-reading it a few weeks later it did not capture the vision that I have for the start of their romantic relationship.  

WARNINGS: Rated MA +18, Explicit, NSFW, P in V sex, protected sex, during office hours, Auralism (sound kink), recorded encounter, feelings.  

5K Words.

Norslyr Translations

Sonval: Sun drop in Afrikaans

Sonskyn:  Sunshine in Afrikaans

Lokacinka: your turn – Hausa

taa ya nyota: starlight – Swahili

Zub da hasken rana a cikina: Pour your sun flares into me - Hausa

Haskaka ni da farin dodo: Spark me with a white dwarf (baby) – Hausa

Gee nog een uitbarsting my sonskyn:  Give one more eruption my sunshine – Afrikaans

Star Wars: Revelations: Tech x Natelyte

Tech turns on his helmet audio function to listen to Natelyte’s special recording.  The audio is Natelyte masturbating, moaning, and whining his name as she uses a high-powered vibrator on herself.  

“Tech...!”  She whimpers.  His eyes widen at the sound of her voice calling his name.  This recording was unexpected, it appeared in his room upon the Solar Scourge before leaving to complete a job.  Tech knew well enough to listen to the audio in private in case it was something meant just for him.  Nat’s voice breaks again as she nears release.  

Tech checks over his shoulder to confirm the door is locked and proceeds to remove his cod piece.  He takes it a step further and removes all his armor except his helmet, he lays out on his bed. He pulls up innocent images of Natelyte on his screen to look at as he strokes himself.  Tech isn’t one to take this kind of time to himself while on a job; but the crew are already on their way to return to Norsik.  He isn’t going to be needed anytime soon.  Tech let’s out a groan at the lack of fluid friction he could do to himself alone.  He grabs a sock from his bed side and slicks his cock with lube and proceeds to jerk himself with the sock around it.  The vibrator takes on more of the volume in the background of Nat’s whimpering.  Tech begins to visualize how she does it to herself, just from this audio clip alone he can deduce that Natelyte is more about clitoral stimulation than penetration.  

“Make you...cum on my piece...”.   He goes on babbling about all the dirty things he wants to do to Nat.  

“Nat...!”  He yelps at the violent ejaculation that glazes the inside of the sock.  Feeling himself need more of her to get his nerves right he continues listening to Nat.  Her voice breaking in high pitches that he has never heard her voice achieve before, at least not around him.  

“Tech.!  Oh, I miss you already.”  She coos, he can envision the devious smile on her lips.  Then she orgasms whining his name.  He sits up tossing the sock to the floor.  

“She’s so enthralling”. He sighs still thinking about Natelyte.  All the things he wants to do with her...and too her.  Thinking of the moans and whines she let out while calling his name, the actions she took to make this for him.  It all started so innocently, she is making it clear that she’s not teasing anymore, she wants Tech.  

Both of these geniuses make a schedule nearly every morning to let the others know when and where they will be throughout the day so if and when anyone needs their help, they can always find them based on the schedule.  When they put it together that they both do this type of time management technique they began to plan their days to intersect every now and then just to get some time to work together, take breaks that overlap with one another’s time. Then one day, Tech cleared his schedule and he sent just ‘Natelyte’ for the whole day, to not only her but to everyone in the crew.  When she saw this, she too just wiped the day away and plastered Tech’s name across the planner and they went out together for the day doing fun things instead of work.  Then this job came up a few weeks later and he had to go with the Scourgemen, she slipped this audio recording in his room before they departed.  Now he isn’t going to hold back what he wants to do with her.  Natelyte is a beautiful and intelligent woman, a rebellious danger, something he admires most about her.  The ship came out of hyperspace, Tech redresses and went out to the bridge.  The crew is eager to get back to the surface to see their perspective counter parts.  None of the women came along for this delivery job, it wasn’t out of disinterest, they just have much more pressing matters that require their presence to maintain at present.  Hunter walks out onto the bridge to oversee the dissent to the surface being performed by Wolffe.  He looks Tech up and down with a sly grin and a raised eyebrow, knowing full well that Tech is a horny little bastard right now.  Tech shrugs the look off, at least he is getting something from his girl.  

The crew land at the platform and Tech was off the ship and dashing towards Natelyte’s office building.  Assuming she would be walking from that direction, he turns a corner and there she is.  Her face brightens with a smile to see him alive and in one piece.  They briskly walk towards each other and embraced.  Their armors clad against each other couldn’t stop the feeling of the other’s warmth.  

“I listened to your message.”  He says with a soft smile.  

“Oh ja?  Did you enjoy it my sonval?”  She asks and leans into him with her breast plate more against his chest plate.  His hands move further down her back to hold her more closely.  

“I loved it so much that I want to participate with you my sonskyn.”  He rasps lowly in her ear and nibbles at her lobe, wasting no time as always.  Nat breaks away from him still grasping his hand to walk to her office together.  They continue to converse about the job he returned from and high lights of events happening on Norsik.  

Her office is open and organized, Nat closes the door behind her and activates the glass clouding feature so no one can see through the glass.  Tech steps forward and cups Natelyte’s face, their eyes transfix on each other searching for the next move.  Nat takes notice of Tech’s posture, now straightened and taller due to the posture correction patch Ottehok slapped between his shoulder blades to correct his hunching.  Their lips connect, her arms wrap around his neck, she introduces her tongue into the mix and Tech hums with delight.  Tech steps forward to press Nat to the glass wall and the kiss deepens, their heat begins to overtake their minds, instinct begins to override logic and focus.  

Heat swells like a roaring star.  

“Tech….”  Natelyte moans when their lip’s part for just a moment.  Her lust lidded hazel orbs focus on his wide brown irises shielded by his specs.  “We should move from the glass.  I heard someone enter the lab.  People can see our figures against the glass wall…”  She speaks with a reluctant smile.  She did not want to pause in the moment, but privacy is priority in regard to this encounter.  

He is a Voider after all.

“Ah well, to your nook then?”  He smirks and pushes his frames up his bridge.  He takes a few steps back to get distance from the glass.  The disinterested look in Natelyte’s eyes is quickly noticed by Tech.  He comes forward to take one of her hands to spin her around the space between them, so her bottom is pressed against a desk that was behind Tech.  “Or I should we continue right here?”  He queries in her ear with his crotch piece pressing against her apex.  

“Ja right here, sonval.”  She mewls as he nips at exposed flesh on her neck.  His hands come down to her thighs to lift her onto the desk.  Her hands push aside monitors and a keyboard to make room for their encounter on the desk’s surface.  Teck kicks away a swivel chair just a foot away from their coupling.  “I’ve always wanted to be taken in this office.”  She lets out as Tech sucks away at her neck leaving hickies carelessly across her supple flesh.  “To be railed by a man of your faculty.”  

“You give me too much credit my taa ya nyota.”  He smiles as his hands come down to unhook his utility harness and comm link.  Nat follows suit and begins to unclasp her armor plating.  They strip down to their under clothes and eagerly entangle once more to explore each other’s forms.  

Natelyte’s full feminine curves draw the attention of his hands immediately.  First her thighs to then fearlessly cupping her breasts.  Her hands roam over his upper body memorizing every muscle groove, feeling his solid frame tensing beneath her touch, she catches notice of his flushed complexion, how pink his ears get when he blushes, it’s adorable.  He is touch starved, ravenous for physical contact of any manner possible, his throbbing member sandwiched between both their thighs is evidence of his physical needs.  His unbashful expression to her acknowledgement of his arousal has him take a moment and clear his throat.  

“Ahem.  With your permission Natelyte, I would like to record our coitus?”  His query is collected and serious.  She knows damn well that Tech exhibits Auralism; where one is aroused by sound; not that just any sound arouses him of course, but just the sounds that he desires to hear when in need.  Hence why he has a habit of recording nearly everything; he does it for his own reasons, from safety to necessity for assignments, for proof or for study.  But of course anything remotely having to do with sex, you best bet it will grab his attention for a moment before he remembers his surroundings and task at hand.  Nat knows all too well he is not referring to just audio recording their encounter, he will be recording everything.  

“Ja, the more angles the better actually.”  She halts her movements across his body and reaches back behind herself to activate a monitor.  Tech’s eyes narrow in bewilderment before she speaks again.  “I can capture more than just the angle of your frames.”  She speaks in a low sultry tone that rivets in his ear canal sending shivers down his spine and goosebumps to rise across his body.  She opens an application that allows her to wake all of the surrounding monitors in the office, activating a recording feature.  The cameras all blink with a red light signaling the start of their first coitus session.  Tech stares in awe at Natelyte’s expanded reach into this kink, and his cock throbs with gratitude.  “Perspective on all sides…”  her tongue slips into an ear, her hands return to his body with a fiery intensity making Tech’s knees weak.  His fingers brush along his goggles to begin recording their steamy encounter, and for Tech to get to work on his sonskyn.   

“May we disrobe?”  Nat nods and lifts the hem of his shirt first; she wants to see what this Techno Master looks like underneath everything.  She is not disappointed.  Tech is sporting a healthy muscle tone, a cog and skull tattoo on a shoulder and left pectoral muscle, several others accented with blaster scars and a stunning set of abs that has Nat bite her bottom lip in arousing admiration of Tech’s physique.  Tech’s hands come back to Nat’s body, he lifts off her shirt and pulls down her pants, panties, and socks.  His darkened brown eyes scan across her chestnut skin, her red curls complement the flecks of green in her brown pools.  Navy blue and crimson red runes line across her body, markings of achievements and lessons she has mastered throughout her life.  Her body is a sculpted masterpiece, Tech is far from being a religious man, but he’d be dammed it he didn’t want to worship the ground that this woman walks upon.  

He worships her in a different manner.  

Tech lifts her left foot into his mouth, slipping her toes between his lips, his tongue sweeping between her toes.  Nat slips onto her elbows to watch Tech do his thing.  He sucks on her big toe and releases it with a pop.  

“That was really nice.”  Nat says with a pleasant smile.  

“Your clitoris looks much nicer…”  Tech purrs planting a kiss to her lips first to then trail down her body.  Kissing each dark nipple, her pierced naval, down to her darkly pigmented clitoris.  Spreading her opening with his thumbs he inspects her coloring; it becomes pinker towards the center, her skin is smooth and tender, with arousal dripping from her.  His hands glide along her thighs, his warm breath fans over her apex, he witnesses her opening contract, the slit rising and falling in a slow motion, his places a slow wet kiss to her button.  Nat’s head falls back, she lowers from her elbows, to lay flat on the desk, she props her legs wide on the desktop.  His hands come up to her torso, pinching and rolling her nipples with his skilled fingers, burring his face between her legs focusing all of his affections on her clitoris.  Slow and featherlight ministrations, spelling his name and number in her folds, drawing all the sinful noises from Nat.

“Aw jaaa…”  She drabbles on babbling words in Norslyr, pleading for Tech to go just a tad lighter when pressing onto her clit.  His hands freely graze along her body, memorizing her form, her curves, down to the last scar.  Heat begins to form in her core, quickly building from Tech’s touching.  She takes one of his hands and sucks on the fingers, drenching the digits with her saliva for her own benefit.  Tech knows exactly what she wants him to do now, and he does it when she releases his fingers.  He fills her opening with one finger with a few pumps for her to adjust, to measure her readiness, and then he adds the second and her moans grow louder.  With raised brows he looks over his shoulder to look at the door, but what does looking at the door solve?  So he reaches up and covers her mouth to hush her lewd noises from prying ears.  Natelyte giggles and sucks on his fingers again whilst hooking a leg over his shoulder to lock his mouth back onto her clit.  “No one can hear us.  Not behind this glass.  I promise...!”  She sucks in air through her teeth and lets out a choked cry, her hips buck against his face.  Nat stands to her feet with Tech plastered against her clit from below.  His brown orbs open wide to take in the sight of her standing over him, hands fisting his hair to pull him into her with more pressure as his mouth opens wide to swallow her pussy.  She pulls on his hair from side to side to have his mouth swipe her opening, his hands come to her ass to hold himself steady on his knees.  Then she gushes with slick from above and he gulps down every last drop like a parched man drinking from a spring.  

The light of the amber screens drapes her body in a golden light personifying her as the physical embodiment of solar radiance.  

Nat’s legs shake, Tech’s strong hands support her at her rump, he pants for air and rises to his feet to seal their lips together.  Tongues dance frantically as she takes in her own taste glistening across Tech’s face.  

“That was an exquisite view, Nat.”  

“Lokacinka.”  She says breathlessly and pushes him down into the swivel chair behind him.  Tech scans the monitors around the room, he rolls the chair pushing with his heels to the center of the room, so each screen has an angle on them both.  Nat smiles with his attention to detail, but now she wants all his focus again on her instead of the technology around them both.  

All.  On.  Her.

Nat crawls between his legs and rubs his clothed bulge straining to be set loose from its prison.  The heat radiating from his crotch is intoxicating, drawing her in, mouth pooling with saliva, with want.  “Take this off.”  She pats his thighs and Tech stands before her and peels off his blacks.  Tech catches this next moment on his lenses, Nat’s eyes wide with shock, and an ambitious smile spreads across her face taking in the sight of Tech’s massive cock.  The veins raised almost perceived as being angry, but Tech is far from any sort of antagonized emotion.  His cock twitches at the first sight of Nat’s tongue darting out to swipe across her lips.  She presses his thighs for him to sit back down in the chair

“Are you hungry my sweet?”  Tech rasps as his hands find purchase in Nat’s thick curls.  

“Ravenous.”  She sighs and wastes no time in drooling over his cock.  She pumps him a few times, feeling the girth, watching a bead of hot precum spill from the tip down the shaft to mix with her saliva to be smear by her chestnut hands along his tan meat.  Sweet soft sighs leave Tech’s chest.  She brings the hot tip to her plump lips and kisses it a few times.  Dragging her lips down the shaft, licking her way back to the tip, slipping it between her lips for her tongue to swirl around the head.  Tasting his early seed and the salt of his skin.  

“Please…”

“Hmm?”  She hums with a full mouth sending vibrations around his solid member making his toes curl at the sensation.  

“Please be sloppy.  Make it loud and messy ta ya nyota.”  His grip tightens in her hair.  Nat knows what he wants, how he wants it, and she will do it only for him.  Nat chuckles with him in her mouth and she slides down his shaft swallowing him whole.  

Natelyte can deep throat.

Tech’s eyes fixate on her motions.  Her head bobbing up and down to suck him from tip to base, nose pressing to his pubic bone, throat expanding and contracting around his cock.  She gags and coughs while still managing to keep him stuffed inside.  She slurps and sucks loudly, her tongue swirls around the head and base.  She has his tip hit the back of her throat; she opens her mouth wider to let the wet sloshing sounds of her throat to echo within the room and fill his ears.

And for the cameras to hear.

Tears fall from the corners of her eyes; Tech pulls her hair to have her face look up at him, snot drips from her nostrils.  He can feel her swallow, it causes her to cough, she pulls off him, so she does not bite him.  As she coughs Tech stands up and takes her hand to have her sit on the desktop again, he separates from her as she wipes her eyes and nose.  Tech reaches down to pick and open a condom from a pocket of his belt and rolls it on.  Natelyte watches him do this and the puzzled look on her face has him smile in slight embarrassment.  

“Is that the fabled con-dom I’ve been hearing about from you Voiders?”  She smiles bringing a hand down to his now covered member to feel the rubbery barrier for herself.

“It is not a fable if it is real, my sweet.”  He smiles whilst cupping her face and kissing her deeply to commend her erotic blowjob.  

“What is a con-dom?”  Her accent while speaking Arubesh made it hard to speak that unfamiliar word.  

“It is a thin latex polyurethane barrier that goes on a male’s member to capture the sperm.”  He smiles at her with a flushed expression.  Drunk with need.  Burning with desire.  Yearning for release.  

“Oh…will it...still feel the same or?”  

“Yes, yes it will still feel the same for you.  I will lose much of the sensation, but it is worth it.  I wouldn’t want to risk impregnating you, Natelyte.”  Their foreheads pressing together, staring into each other’s eyes with understanding and adoration.  

“I could take my own protection.  An after pill.  That way you don’t need to miss out…”  She says pumping his shielded cock, gathering the strange lubricant that covers the outside.  

Tech wants to, he wants to feel her from the inside, her hot moist walls clenching around his throbbing mass.  But he cannot.  He must do it this way, he cannot risk the possibility of spreading his genes among the Norsik population, not even if it is with Natelyte.  

He just can’t.  

Nat sees his internal confliction, then his resolve as he clenches his jaw and lines himself up with her entrance.  Pumping himself and coating his cock with her juices.  “I want to, but I cannot.”  He says and cuts off any more of her pleas as he plunges inside her warm depths.  A loud moan escapes her chest as Tech thrusts inside her a few more times to sheath his piece within her, coating every last inch he has to give with her slick.  Then he holds himself still to look upon Nat, to see her already ruined around him.  Her legs wrap around his waist, her arms tighten around his shoulders, head buried in the crook of his neck groaning from the stretching pleasure of his cock.  

“You feel so good sonskyn.”  He purrs in her ear and begins moving a fast pace.  Every time he bottoms out inside her a beautiful gasp leaves her chest.  The sting of her nails digging into his broad shoulders fuels his need to fuck her harder.  Demanding that he fuck her hard as to wash away her previous thought of the barrier affecting her end of the pleasure between them.  His pleasure is surely dulled, but he uses that dullness as an advantage to last longer.  To fuck her for all that she is worth here and now.

Nat’s heels dig into his lower back, her breathing is ragged, she peels an arm from around his shoulder to vigorously rub her clit.  Tech growls at this action and replaces her hand with his own thumb.  She mewls at the harshness of his touch, she lays flat against the table, her breasts bounce in rhythm of his thrusts.  The monitors all shifting from the weight of his pounding, moving their angles around without touching them, it’s maddening.  

“Don’t stop!”  She cries out as her legs begin to tense around him.  Her hands come down to grasp his forearms to anchor herself to him.  Tech leans back with their arms locked together to press as deep as he can reach within her.  And she cums with a mighty cry as a wave of the most intense internal orgasm crashes within her.  Tech fucks her through it, unable to yield to his better judgement to slow down or cease his movements to allow her to settle once more.  He presses on, heeding her command, doing what she says, what she wants, he’ll do anything, everything for Natelyte’s pleasure.  

She deserves the stars.

Nat’s legs go limp around his waist, his arms release hers and return to the underside of her thighs to keep her legs at his sides.  Her eyes return from the back of her skull and come to refocus on the man fucking her into oblivion.  The aftershocks of electricity brought on by his unyielding movements makes her back arch and body jolt.  She whines his name and praises, how perfect he is, what he does to her, and how he keeps fucking her with a pleasant ferocity.  Her body returns to be flush against him, her hands combing through his hair, licking his neck, biting along his structures, marking him in the same careless manner he had done to her in the beginning.  He lets out sweet moans and sighs at her efforts.  Then Nat pulls herself close to his ear and speaks in a complete wrecked manner that has him obey every next word.  

“Sit in the chair and let me ride you like a wild Scorp.”  

Tech pulls from her and finds his place in the swivel chair quickly to be mounted by Natelyte’s thick thighs.  Her body is so soft and supple, covered in a sheen of sweat that has her glowing in the amber light of the screens.  She lines herself up and sinks down on him quickly to regain the fullness that he fulfills within her.  Tech can feel her entire body working on top of him, all of her weight, her skin, her scent, her muscles.  

“Da rana!  Zub da hasken rana a cikina!  Haskaka ni da farin dodo!”  Nat shouts like a battle cry.  Her movements are rocking the chair, making it squeak with every harsh landing of her hips against his.  The chair begins to feel as though it may break from their use of it.  Tech hopes that it does, all for that camera value.  How hard she can fuck him in return.   Her walls clench around him, her nails dig deeply into his shoulders to then release him and run her hands through her hair.  She leans back to give Tech a full view of the goddess riding him as she takes another orgasm for herself.

“Cum my darling.  Cum all over my cock again.  Take it all for yourself!”  he babbles.  His hands gripping her sides to support her as her bounces begin to become uneven and ill timed.  The tight coil within her snaps and her walls quiver around his shielded cock again.  This time she stops to take it all in, lifting her feet from the ground to have all her weight fully bare down on Tech which he handles with ease.  She sobs into his neck, holding her he stands with her in his grasp to lay on the floor, this will be his last bout, he is nearing his own limit now and wants to ejaculate while drowning in her hazel pools.  In missionary he begins to move slowly, pumping in and out from tip to base, scooping her out with his cock.  Her back arches from the tender aftershocks that sweep across her nerves, which he attempts to drown out with sweet kisses.  

Tech removes his goggles for this last bout, placing them near their heads to continue filming, but he wants to see her face to face.  

Nat is moved by this action, a clammy hand comes to cup his face, fingers tracing along his temple without the interruption of his goggles.  He is handsome.  Her hands come to wrap around his back, a hand grazes over the posture patch between his sharp shoulder blades.  His sweat drips down onto her which she revels in; the fact of knowing how hard Tech works in all aspects of his character in everything he does, it is admirable.  He plants kisses to her forehead and cheeks, nibbles at her neck as his chest falls to rest upon hers.  Natelyte takes a moment to acknowledge how Tech’s frame can easily cage her in beneath him, his heat enveloping her body, his sweat claiming very square inch of her body, as his cock lays claim to her internally.  Tech can feel her depths, no longer limited to physicality, but intellectually, emotionally…he can see it all in her eyes.  How much he means to her, the mark he has left on her brain, her heart, and now all over her body.  

“Gee nog…een uitbarsting my sonskyn…”  He speaks with a heeding tone to what is coming soon.  Nat reaches down to rub her clit, hearing the sounds of their wet skins squelching drives Tech up a wall.  Her moaning increases with pitch, her breathing quickening as she cums again on his cock.  

“Jaaaaa!  Ja! Ja-ah-aah!”  He fucks her again through another deeply felt orgasm which spurs him finally into his own.  

“Ah, yes!  Oh yes!  Karking hell!”  He shouts into the air with quick deep jabs into Nat’s core.  Pouring his unfelt seed inside of Natelyte, a Norse Valkyrie.  As they cum together, they kiss.  

They lay in heaving silence for a few moments before Tech pulls from her and rolls the condom off.  He reaches out for her canteen that had been knocked to the floor from off the desktop earlier and takes a sip for himself then relinquishing the rest of its contents to Natelyte.  She takes a few savoring gulps and hands it back to Tech.  They sit up together and lean against the desk for support.  

“That was awakening.”  Nat chuckles breathlessly looking to Tech for affirmation.  

“I agree.  I wonder how the recording is going to turn out.”  He says dryly and glances down at Nat with a teasing smile.  

“Oh I promise you it will turn out grate after I’m through with it.”

“Just you?  I assumed we would both work on it together…”  His voice cracks from parched vocal cords.  

“I think that is the first time you included someone in your assumption Tech.”  She looks him in the eyes with surprise.  He stares back at her; filtering through his stored memories like a data bank to find any other instance he had done this.   Assuming people already knew what was going to happen but did not know anything until he explained it aloud.  For once he hopes that this assumption would be correct.  Natelyte caresses his cheek fondly and places a chaste kiss to his lips to break his filtering.  “Of course we will work on it together, sonval.”  

[forlornmelody]

Double the Trouble Chapter 12 --Gods and Monsters

Rating: Explicit (lots of smut, a bit of violence, and so much swearing.)

Ship: FemShep x Femshep Clone, Femshep x Kaidan, Femshep x Femshep Clone x Kaidan, OT3

AO3 Link: Here

Summary:  Finally approved to reinstall her biotic amplifier, Jane Shepard is ready to enjoy every aspect of her biotics and her relationships, but her partners have their own inner demons to deal with. 

Note: So much smut in this chapter. And a lot of feelings. 

Shepard leaves her therapy appointment buzzing with energy in more ways than one. She could almost cry right now, and her hand keeps touching the back of her neck to check that her amp is really there. It doesn’t even matter that her therapist still wants to keep seeing her, or that half her body is recovering slower than she’s like. Her biotics are back.

Not since the day Shepard enlisted and received her first amp has she toyed with them so much. First, she stirs the leaves of a nearby bush, then she pulls on a ball a man just threw for his dog to fetch. Shepard throws it back before they can register what happened. She casts a barrier over herself just so she can feel the energy. Really, she should slow down before her amp burns out, but she can’t help it.

Ideas buzz through her head, fantasies, even, of how those biotics will come in handy. Shepard bites her grin, itching to tell anyone and everyone about how alive she feels. There’s two people she needs to tell first.

Shepard’s so excited she passes right by the coffee shop. It isn’t until she reaches the abandoned gift shop two stores down that she realizes her mistake. Slow down, Shepard, she tells herself with a snigger.

When Shepard finally steps inside, she’s washed in the aroma of fresh brewed coffee. She finds Jane and Kaidan sitting at a table, and she flops in a chair at the table next to theirs. “You’ll never believe how awesome my day has--guys?” Both Jane and Kaidan look up at Shepard without a word. “Did I miss something?”

Jane looks down at her coffee mug, and Kaidan clears his throat. “It’s fine. We uh...we just talked about where we’re at, you know?” Kaidan puts on a brave smile and it breaks Shepard’s heart. She has a feeling she knows what happened.

Maybe today isn’t a good time to talk about another threesome. “Should we talk about it together, or separately?”

Jane chews her lip. “I need some time alone. Catch you later, Shepard?” She looks down at Shepard as she stands up, avoiding Kaidan’s eyes entirely.

Shit. This. This isn’t the afternoon Shepard expected. She reaches up, squeezing her clone’s hand. “Talk later, okay?”

Squeezing back, Jane nods before leaving. Shepard watches her go with a pang.

“Sorry, Shepard.” Kaidan rubs his face, with that shaking breath Shepard knows comes with tears her lover’s trying to keep inside.

Shepard moves so she’s sitting across from him. “What happened?”

Kaidan laughs once, humorlessly. “Never thought I’d be the one to move too fast.”

Nodding, Shepard reaches over, squeezing his hand. “She doesn’t feel the same way you do?”

Squeezing back, Kaidan sighs. “Yes? And no?” He groans. “She thinks I’m hot. Always has, apparently.” Shepard bites back a snort. “She just isn’t sure if she feels...anything else towards me.”

“And that’s important to you.”

Kaidan swallows, wiping at his eyes.

“Let’s get out of here, okay? So I can give you a hug without a table being in my way.”

 The moment the sky car takes off, Shepard pulls Kaidan into her arms. She shudders at the rush of their biotics intermingling, closing her eyes to focus on the sensation. Kaidan leans his head against her chest, letting out a long-held breath. His eyes snap open as he gasps. He jerks up so fast he hits Shepard’s chin.

“Ow.”

“Sorry.” Kaidan says quickly, looking at her with wide-eyes. “Is..that...are those…?” His mouth hangs open as he takes her in. Kaidan’s hand hovers at the side of her neck, itching to touch where her amp sits but waiting for permission like only a biotic would.

“My biotics?” Shepard grins, kissing him gently, giddy with excitement.

Kaidan kisses back, breathless, closing his eyes to focus on where her biotics stir with his. “Mm. You got your amp back.” He opens his eyes, and a small smile crosses on his face. “No wonder you’re so happy. Normally…”

“After my appointments I look like I could murder half of Vancouver.”

“Yeah. Something like that.” Kaidan smiles just a little bit wider when Shepard draws his hand back to her amp port and they both shiver at the jolt that travels down both their spines. “Shepard--”

“Don’t apologize, Kaidan. Your feelings are valid.” Shepard takes a deep breath, letting go of those daydreams she had on the way to the coffee shop. “And so are hers.”

Kaidan squeezes her a little tighter.

“What’s really bothering you about this?” Shepard pulls back, though part of her just wants to kiss his sadness away.

“I don’t know,” Kaidan says with a sigh. Shepard waits for him to continue, knowing it takes him a while to organize his thoughts. He grumbles, muttering his words under his breath. “It’s dumb.”

“Tell me.” Shepard traces her thumb across his five-o-clock shadow.

“.... Fine.” Kaidan snorts, looking away as his face reddens. “I’m afraid I’ll never be able experience love the way you do.” 

Shepard swallows her laugh, allowing herself a smile as she draws his gaze back to hers. “You’re right. And wrong.” She kisses his cheek. “Of course it’s a stupid fear. But it’s not stupid to feel fear.”

Kaidan mutters. “Sometimes I wish you’d feel fear more often.”

“Har har. But Kaidan.” She draws her thumb across the spot she just kissed. “No one can experience love the way I do. We all live life differently.”

“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” He leans his forehead against hers. “It still hurts to be rejected, though.”

“Yeah.” Shepard presses her lips together, trying to decide how to word her request. “Are you gonna be okay if I talk to Jane tonight?”

Kaidan looks at her. “You’re going to do more than talk, aren’t you.”

Shepard rubs her weak arm. “Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know.” Another breath. Funny how fiction never seemed to capture how challenging it could be to love more than one person. “Are you going to be okay with that?”

Pressing the heel of his hand into his forehead, Kaidan groans. “I need time, Shepard.” He grimaces. “But she probably needs you too, right now.”

Still easier than facing down a Reaper, right? “That bad, huh?”

Kaidan gives her a look. “Maybe.” Fidgeting, he finally blurts out, “Do you need me to watch? I don’t think I can. Not this time. Not now.”

“Is it still going to bother you if you don’t watch?”

“Probably. But that’s my problem. Not yours. Not hers.” He kisses her firmly. “Go talk to her. Do...whatever you need to. I’ll still be here when you’re done.”

“I love you, Kaidan. Nothing will ever change that.” She returns the kiss, squeezing him as tight as her injury will allow. For once, her bad arm cooperates, though weakly. Shepard wonders if he’ll notice.

“I know.” He squeezes her back. They sit there, content in each other’s arms even after the sky car lands at their apartment.

Shepard’s eyes snap open. “Shit.”

“What?”

“Where am I gonna talk to her? I can’t exactly kick you out of your own apartment.”

In the end, Shepard ends up using some of her medical leave money to book a hotel room for the night. The place just re-opened, so that civilians checking in on family would have a place to stay while they dug through the rubble. It’s better than trying to do this at Jane’s “apartment,” especially with how that went down the last time she tried.  Shepard meets her at the bar downstairs, sitting at a booth where they can get a little privacy. “Hey stranger.” 

Jane sips at her bloody mary. “Hey yourself.”

Shepard sips at her glass of whiskey. “Is now a good time to talk about Kaidan?”

Jane fiddles with her straw. “A good time as any, I guess.”

“What happened?”

“Did he tell you?”

“Well yeah, but I want to hear it from you.” Shepard reaches over, squeezing her hand.

Jane grimaces. “I’m not good at this stuff, Shepard.”

Shepard nearly argues she is but decides that won’t help. “What makes you say that?”

“I’m not even human. I’m a fucking monster. A hot one, apparently, but still a monster.” She slams the slice of celery back inside her glass so hard some of the beverage splashes out. Jane glares at it like it’s proof of her argument.

Taking a bigger gulp of her drink, Shepard forges ahead. “Did Maya tell you that?”

Jane’s eyes flash blue, and the hairs on both their heads stir with her fury. “She didn’t have to, Shepard.”

“What? Because you’re a clone? Arguably, I’m not human either. I’m practically half-synthetic.” Jane’s hand slips from hers and Shepard balls hers in a fist.

“That’s not the same thing. You were born. I was flushed out of a fucking vat.”

Jane’s voice is rising, and so is hers. They should both keep their voices down, but Shepard is tired.  She’s so fucking tired. “What’s this really about, Jane?” When Jane doesn’t answer, Shepard answers for her. “Is this about that tattoo?”

Jane stares at her hard. “You don’t get to ask me about her.”

“So it is a her.” Shepard chugs some water, nearly slamming the glass against the table. “I’m guessing this my fault somehow?” So tired. For once she would like to spend the day without thinking of how many lives she’s ruined by trying to save a few.

Licking her lips, Jane narrows her eyes. “Rana Thanoptis. Remember her?”

Shepard sits back. “Yeah. Scientist with questionable ethics and a bad habit of working with the wrong people. Why?” What’s Thanoptis have to do with any of this?

“She’s the one who crafted my implants and installed them.” Jane snaps her celery in half, but she doesn’t eat it. Instead she keeps breaking it up into smaller and smaller pieces until there’s a pile of mush on the table. “She’s the reason I trained in biotics with other Asari on Heyetiana. She’s the reason I met Dreya.” Shepard mouths the name, committing it to memory as she sees tears prick at Jane’s eyes. “She’s the reason Dreya’s dead.”

“....Thanoptis bombed a research facility.” Shepard says quietly, recalling the ANN report she read in one of her emails. “Dreya was a military official?”

“No,” Jane snaps. “Our class was visiting on a field trip when the bombs went off. The glasses on the table rattle with her anger.

Shepard woodenly uses hers to keep the glasses from flying off and hurting someone. She’s afraid to hear the answer, but she asks anyway. “What does this have to do with me?”

“Twice you ran into Thanoptis. Twice you let her walk away.” Tears fall readily down Jane’s face, and she shakes nearly as much as the glasses did.

Swallowing, Shepard allows her words to sink in. Her throat feels thick. “I didn’t know she was indoctrinated.”

“So her working for Saren, and committing treason wasn’t enough for you? Or helping a mad scientist funnel out cannon fodder for some merc boss?”

Shepard feels so small. “It wasn’t my call to make.”

“You’ve killed mercs for less. Maybe if she was Cerberus y--”

“Shut up.”

“Why? Because I’m right?”

Looking her straight in the eyes, Shepard answers. “Because nothing I can say will bring Dreya back.” She slams the rest of her whiskey back, heading to the bar to pay their tab.

“Where’re you going?” Jane follows her, leaving her cocktail behind.

The bartender nods at them, shaking from his spot beneath the counter. “Please leave.”

Shepard leaves him an extra-large tip. “I booked a room, remember?” She looks over her shoulder. “I gave Kaidan the apartment to himself for the night. I’m not taking that away from him. Room 303. Or head back to HQ. Your choice.” This time, Shepard doesn’t wait for her answer as she closes the elevator behind her. 

 Kaidan would probably be upset if he saw the bill--a whole bottle of whiskey to go along with her large pizza and her tub of ice-cream. Kaidan isn’t here, however, so Shepard plops down on the couch with them anyway. Add her therapist to the list of disappointed, if not angry people. It seems she can’t do anything without pissing someone off. Too bad. Shepard meant to enjoy tonight, and fuck if that’s not what she’s gonna do. She’s partway through her bottle and partway through some stupid horror vid when she hears a knock at the door.

Dropping her half-eaten slice of pizza, Shepard manages to set down her bottle. She heads for the door, raising a glowing fist as she reaches for the latch.

The glow vanishes when she finds Jane on the other side, with a tote bag hanging from her shoulder. “Oh. Hey. Didn’t expect to see you.”

Jane pushes past her, eyeing the mess on the couch, before eyeing the mess of the woman in front of her. “Clearly.”

“Want some?” Shepard sways a little on her feet.

“You’re drunk, aren’t you.” Jane picks up the bottle, eyeing how much has vanished from its contents.

“Buzzed.”

“Mmhm.” Jane sets the bottle down, stalking back towards the door. “Shepard,” she says firmly as she locks the door, “I want you to burn it off.”

“The alcohol? Why?” This is the best (or least) she’s felt all day.

Jane puts her hands on either side of Shepard’s head, leaning in close. “I’m not fucking you when you’re drunk.”

“You’re gonna...oh.” Shepard swallows hard as she throws up a barrier. Her biotic metabolism takes care of the rest. “Are you going to make me say the alph--mmm.”

Jane’s lips are hot and heavy on her lips. “Better,” she murmurs before stealing another kiss, this time with teeth.

Shepard runs her fingertips along Jane’s undershave and grips her hair where it grows long enough. She kisses back in earnest, so lost in her warmth that she nearly forgets their fight. Her tongue has found its way into her clone’s mouth before she remembers herself. Barely managing to tear herself away, Shepard asks breathlessly, “Aren’t you mad at me?”

Also breathing hard, Jane narrows her eyes. “Does it matter?” She grips the end of Shepard’s tank top. “You didn’t seem to mind the first time we fucked.”

Oooh, but that image doesn’t help keep her lust in check. Ravished in the shower and ravaged in her bed, held in place by Jane’s biotics she-- “Shouldn’t we talk about this?”

“I don’t want to talk.” Jane kisses down her neck, feeling up her shirt. “I want to fuck.”

“I do too, but not like--” Shepard groans as Jane grounds her groin against hers. “--this.” She swallows hard.

Jane groans too, but it’s out of frustration, not longing. “I already told you I’m not good at that stuff.”

Even though she’s out of shape, Shepard grips her shoulder, holding her back. “And you’re lying.” Before Jane can protest, Shepard continues. “You’re better than you give yourself credit for. You’re just afraid to be.”

Shaking underneath Shepard’s hand, Jane’s eyes water. “Don’t.”

“You’re wrong, you know.” Shepard reaches over with her weak hand, missing a few times before she manages to caress Jane’s cheek. “You’re not a monster.”

“What makes you say that?” Jane speaks low, her voice thick.

“Your anger over Dreya proves you care.” At the mention of her name, tears slip down Jane’s cheeks. Shepard clumsily wipes them away. “You have a soul just as much as the rest of us do.” She lets go, finally, looking at the floor. “I’m sorry about what happened. There isn’t a moment where I question everything I’ve done.” Legion and EDI flash through her head, and Shepard feels a pang in her chest. “Where I wonder what happened if I’d done things differently.”

“You’re not God, you know.” Jane wipes her eyes and nose, sniffing.

Shepard snorts. “Yeah, I know.” She traces the edge of Jane’s jaw. “We’re good?”

Jane sighs, resting her head on Shepard’s shoulder. “I’m still angry, but not at you.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” But Jane takes her hand, leading her to the couch anyway.

“I gotta confess, I’m not really good at this either.” Shepard sits down with her, squeezing her hand.

“Now who’s lying? Miss-I-Can-Befriend-Anyone-And-Spill-Their-Secrets-With-A-Gun-In-My-Hand?”

“Har har.” Shepard clears her throat. “So. What would have happened if she lived?”

Jane sighs shakily, staring at the window behind Shepard’s head. “We were planning on going to Sanctuary.”

Oh fucking hell. “Jane--Sanctuary isn’t--wasn’t--”

“It was a Cerberus shell, I know.” Jane squeezes back fiercely. “Guess we’d both be dead if Rana hadn’t killed her.”

Shepard kisses the top of her head. “Or you both would’ve torn the place apart and saved me the trouble.”

“Ha.” Jane swallows, eyeing Shepard slowly. “Dreya would like you, I think.”

“Glad to know someone does.”

Jane swats her, crawling into her lap. “So... if we’re not still fighting, does that mean I have to be gentle?”

Shepard swallows, leaning back into the cushions, pulling Jane down with her. “Be as rough as you want.”

Her clone’s eyes darken with want, running her hand down Shepard’s chest to between her legs. “As rough as I want?” she repeats.

A thrill races through Shepard, and her mouth waters. “As rough as you want.”

Next thing Shepard knows, she’s being lifted biotically, and tossed onto the bed across the room. “Oof.” She lands in a heap, and Jane isn’t far behind. Shepard starts to sit up, but Jane grabs her shoulder.

“Stay there.” Jane pushes her shirt up, kissing up her stomach to her chest.

“Mm.” Shepard helps, putting one arm up, and nearly getting the other up. Before she can complain, Jane’s teeth graze her collar bone. “Nng.”

Jane’s breath is hot against her ear. “Too much?”

Shepard arches into her touch. “Keep going.” She manages to gasp. Jane bites her ear lobe, working on Shepard’s sweats. The N7 stripes ripple as she pulls them off. Underneath she finds briefs with the N7 logo on them.

“Really?”

“Hey. I worked hard to wear that logo.”

“Yeah. You worked hard for me to take it off.” Jane drags her nails down the path she kissed before, just hard enough to leave a mark, but not hard enough to bleed. Shepard shudders at her touch. Lingering with her fingers along the hem, Jane licks her lips, watching Shepard watch her. “Wet already, Shepard?”

“Guess I like you.” Then those fingers dip beneath the fabric, slipping and sliding against her clit. Shepard swears. “Stop teasing me.”

Jane’s eyes flash, and a stream of biotics ripple down her arm. “Who’s teasing?” Shepard’s hips rise into her hands as she wails. “Hold still.” Pushing her hips back down, Jane slips two fingers inside her, her biotics still shaking her apart. When Shepard stops writhing, Jane leans down to bite her neck. “Tired already?”

Shepard grins sluggishly. “Never.” She reaches down towards Jane’s pants and tugs them down. Her eyebrows rise to the ceiling when she finds a harness underneath. “Damn. You got something special planned?”

“Maybe.” Jane eyes her, shucking her pants off. “If you’re up for it.” She chews her lip, fingering one of the straps.

“With you, always.” Shepard sits up, kissing her neck, sucking on her skin hungrily as she tries to catch her breath.

“Hold on.” Jane pushes her away. “I gotta get my dick out.” Shepard falls back against the sheets in laughter. “Keep laughing,” she calls back heading back to the couch where she left her bag. Pulling out a long box, she carries back to the bed. She removes the lid reverently, setting it on the edge of the bed, taking out a black dildo with gold engravings.

Shepard whistles. “That had to cost a lot.”

Jane inserts the didlo into her harness until it clicks into place. “I wouldn’t know. It was a gift.”

Licking her lips, Shepard manages to ask, “From Dreya?”

“No.” Jane crawls onto the bed like a panther stalking its prey. She gently shoves Shepard back onto her back. “Now quit talking and put that mouth to good use.” Kneeling over Shepard’s face, she brings the dildo close to her mouth. “Hit the mattress twice if it’s too much or too hard or--”

Shepard’s lips seal around the dildo, pulling it into her mouth. Jane thrusts awkwardly, and Shepard grins, guiding her hips into a rhythm as she squeezes her ass. “Mm,” she says, closing her eyes as the strap-on bumps against her clit. She pushes a button at the top, and the vibrating function turns on.

“Mm-mm.” Shepard slaps the mattress twice, and Jane tries to hide her disappointment as she turns the vibrator off. Waiting a beat, Shepard winks at her with glowing eyes, before she wraps her hand around the base.

“Aww fuck,” Jane hisses, pinching her eyes shut as Shepard’s biotics rush down the shaft. Shepard snickers, teasing her until she pulls out. “Jesus Christ.”

“Sadly, not.” Shepard wipes the drool from her mouth, only to squeal when Jane flips her over. She rests on all fours as Jane fiddles with the box again. A condom wrapper rips and the cap of a lube bottle flips open.

“Ready for me, Shepard?” Jane scratches down Shepard’s back.

“God, yes.” The strap on slides into her easily, and Shepard can’t help but gasp as it bumps her deep inside. “Fuck.”

“That’s the plan.” Jane grips her hips, snapping into her more steadily than before. Oh, and it feels so good. So sharp, so hard, so….

Shepard moans desperately as Jane retaliates with her own biotics, and Shepard’s world flares like a supernova. Her clone moans with her as she finally pulls out, sinking down to her side. When she finds herself again, Shepard turns over. “That was amazing.”

“Thank you.” Though not as sated as her partner, Jane looks more peaceful than ever. Shepard can’t help but kiss her as she finagles her out of her harness, tossing it off the bed.

“C’mere,” Shepard mumbles into her lips, finding her clit with her fingers. Jane gasps against her lips, and Shepard grins, drinking in her cries. No, never a monster.

[breazyvapors]

Vape News in Brief: November 24th 2017 Edition

Vape News in Brief: November 24th 2017 Edition     It's that time again – we scour the dregs of the interweb in search of news related to vaping, vape law, and vapers' health, separating the chaff and leaving you with only the finest grains of knowledge. This week, let's talk about…   …how, despite attacks on vaping continuing unabated at the city and county level in the United States, over in New Zealand the government is ramping up support for the vape industry as part of a push to make the country 100% smoke free by 2025.           Science: a new paper finds that both cigarette smoke and e-cigarette aerosol can both increase blood pressure and decrease heartbeat in mice. Other studies have tied this same effect more specifically to nicotine than smoke or vapor in general, and it raises some concern that significant levels of formaldehyde and other aldehydes are being found in the study's "vapor" – in the past this presence indicates that researchers were either inadvertently or intentionally burning wicking material, creating smoke and mistaking it for vapor. Still, the takeaway here is that nicotine, no matter how you consume it, can create stress for your heart and circulatory system that could lead to health problems.   While the above post makes clear that vaping isn't a way to remove 100% of the risk from a nicotine habit, it's effective enough at harm reduction that lung cancer specialist nurses are taking to the streets in England, promoting the use of e-cigs as a "great way" to escape traditional tobacco products. Odd pairings: staying in the UK, a brick-and-mortar vape shop wants to use part of its shop space as a showroom retailing sports cars. Not sure how that's going to work, but we like cars. And we like vaping. Brilliant.     Here's a nice, well-researched and thoroughly-backlinked piece pressing the US for a modern day anti-smoking champion at the federal level who'll push to get the facts about vaping's harm reduction capabilities out to the masses, many of whom mistakenly believe due to governmental waffling that e-cigs are as dangerous or even more so than actual tobacco products. These are some interesting insights on the habits of vapers back in 2013-2014, otherwise known as the Stone Age of Vaping. Big takeaways: availability of a wide variety of flavors was (and still is) immensely important for smokers looking to quit, and people who've never smoked are much less likely to use nicotine than those attempting to quit using vaping. Still, 69% (not nice) of never-smokers vape liquids containing nicotine – please be aware that while much research places nicotine somewhere around caffeine on the level of harmful drugs (addictive properties and delivery method notwithstanding), the health risks of using any drug are always greater than zero. We're not quite sure how to take this one – a professor at Cal State Long Beach has for the last few years been conducting surveys of students, quizzing them about their smoking and vaping habits. From her research, she's convinced the trend of youth vaping is in steep decline, while tobacco use continues its years-long drop in popularity (CSULB is an entirely smoke-and-vape-free campus, in policy anyway). That's all well and good, but assistant professor of human development Isabella Lanza goes further, predicting the entire vape industry is in its death throes. We're not sure we're there yet, but getting people away from tobacco is always a good thing, as is Lanza's opinion that colleges and universities should be much more concerned with students' alcohol use than their vaping habits. More split-decision science upcoming, and it's another take from that old 2013-2014 data set. This time (remember, vaping was in its infancy then), the numbers being touted were as such: 68% of vapers were also currently smoking, while 24% were former smokers (including 10% who'd maintained their quit for more than a year at a time when vaping had hardly been in the mainstream for that long), and 8% had never smoked. Using these figures (including the fact that nearly a quarter of vapers had successfully quit smoking), Rana M. Jaber, a PhD from Baptist Health South Florida in Miami, reaches the natural conclusion – using e-cigarettes won't help you quit smoking. Continuing a trend, even the *Boston Globe* has picked up on what they're calling "the most widespread phenomenon you've never heard of," or the popularity of Juul's high-strength nicotine pods amongst youth. This may be the one market segment where teenage use is a continuing problem, though longtime readers will remember that earlier in the year, the time-honored practice of "dripping" was the latest scourge of the vaping community. If past flare-ups are an indicator, we've got another month or two of hype to go on this one… Troll job? This guy claims tobacco is the best e-liquid flavor ever, largely leaning on the "it's made from natural ingredients" argument. While naturally-extracted tobacco (NET) juices are indeed a thing, and often helpful to smokers who don't initially take to vaping, most tobacco liquid is not NET liquid. If you love tobacco blends, great – we've got more than 150 of them right here! While tobacco certainly has a place in the rotation for some of us, there's a reason the category makes up less than 5% of the 4000+ flavors on our roster. To hear the kids tell it, vaping a Juul isn't even the same thing as using a mod – they classify the choice of device as a separate activity. You're either vaping or Juuling, but not doing both. Huh. We'll leave it at that for now, but the world keeps turning and the news media will inevitably keep breaking news – we'll be here again in a few days to fix it. https://breazy.com/blogs/updates/vape-news-in-brief-november-24th-2017-edition?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr #vape #vaping #breazy

[rcultado]

“If my life circumstances had landed me in a sweatshop, I’d want someone to be standing up for me and to refuse to be a part of my exploitation”

A long-haul move to Manila turned ethical fashion advocate Hannah Theisen from a sunshiny social activist to an impassioned warrior. Renee Christopher Ultado keeps up with her journey

A Japanese man occupies a box of a room with white walls, wooden floors, and a simple wooden table and two chairs.

“This is how people usually imagine minimalist living,” says Hannah Theisen. Clad in a black crop top, black culottes, and a wispy gold necklace tucked under her shirt, Theisen looks like she herself would be just at home in the same Spartan conditions. “But minimalism is really about only keeping the things that you absolutely love. You can lead this kind of lifestyle and still love embellished clothing, bright colors, and little trinkets as long as you value and wear each one of them,” she continues.

Part of the growing community of Fashion Revolution, a worldwide organization advocating sustainable fashion, humane working conditions, and fare wages for garment workers, Theisen sheds light on the ramifications of the rapid fashion cycle via her blog, www.lifestylejustice.com. More than focusing on the negative and preaching from a high horse, her website is an avenue for championing ethical brands and serves as a guide and open call to responsible consumerism. Along with this project, she runs a full-time US-based consulting firm she manages from Manila, and spearheads A Beautiful Refuge, a social enterprise and ethical lifestyle brand based in Tagaytay.

In her move to the Philippines, her journey takes a more personal turn. More than statistics or cautionary tales featured in documentaries, clothing factory workers laboring under deplorable conditions for little compensation are her friends. “I have always cared about the people behind my clothes ever since I started this journey, but it's different now, it's more intense. Now they are people I've sung karaoke with, joked with, and shared meals with,” says Theisen. Like the statement on one of her T-shirts, [ethical fashion] is not the new black. It's actually Article 23 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

What started this journey for you? Have you always been an advocate of social justice and sustainable living, or was it a big lifestyle change?

Even as a child, I was always quite conscientious, and I’ve been an activist with interests in various social justice issues since I was a young teenager. However, it wasn’t until about 2011, after I graduated from college, that I became more deeply aware of the potential negative effect of my shopping and lifestyle habits. I felt conflicted speaking out against injustices like forced labor and inhumane treatment and still indirectly “fund” it by buying cheap clothes and other goods. I realized that I didn’t know where the products I was purchasing came from or how they were made, and I wanted that to change. It was a lifestyle shift, for sure, because prior to becoming a “conscious consumer,” I was a bit of a bargain hunter, always out looking for the cheapest deals. However, it didn’t feel too overwhelming because I grew up without access to a ton of money so I was used to shopping secondhand, growing and preserving my own food.

 How is it going so far?

My exploration into ethical living has been a continuous journey, because there’s always an aspect of my lifestyle and purchasing habits that I can work on, there's always something I can improve. At first, I was just avoiding purchasing items that I knew were likely to be made in poor labor conditions, like cheap clothing and chocolate and coffee. When I found that quite simple to do, I moved on toward only purchasing items that I needed and wanted that I could prove were made ethically—be it clothes, shoes, home goods, or beauty products. After that became second nature to me, I started working on reducing the single-use plastic waste in my life and trying to become completely zero waste. Easier said than done, though, living in Metro Manila!

What brought you to Manila and what keeps you busy here?

I’ve loved the Philippines every since I first visited as a teenager. I lived here in 2009 while working with an NGO and always knew that I wanted to come back someday. When a friend who runs a non-profit in Tagaytay asked me to help set up a social enterprise to employ women who had come through her program and were in need of employment, I said yes, thinking I’d spend a few months in the Philippines getting things set up with the bonus of hanging around my favorite islands during downtime.

Fast forward to today: I’m living in Makati and running my US-based consulting business remotely while still volunteering to help the social enterprise get through its first year smoothly and profitably. I really love what I’m doing because it blends my interests in ethically produced fashion, small business development, and social justice together perfectly.

Can you talk about the social enterprise in Tagaytay?

A Beautiful Refuge is an eco-friendly (and aspiring zero waste) screen printing and sewing workshop offering sustainable employment to women who need it. We’re less than a year old, and only have six employees, but we’re steadily growing and really excited about the future. We make T-shirts, totes, various home items in our workshop. The products are for sale in the Philippines and in the US. We’re really into transparency, paying fair wages (workers start at double the standard rate for seamstresses), and being environmentally friendly. 

What about Fashion Revolution? How does the Philippine organization contribute to the global movement?

With participating chapters in 92 countries worldwide, Fashion Revolution seeks to raise awareness of unfair labor conditions in the garment and textile manufacturing industries, and to spark change though widespread social activism. Much of this activism is focused around Fashion Revolution Week, which takes place around April 24th each year. This date is significant because it is the anniversary of the fatal collapse of Rana Plaza factory Dhaka, Bangladesh, which claimed the lives of at least 1,134 and injured 2,500 more.

Here in the Philippines, Fashion Revolution’s Philippines country team works with local organizations, Filipino fashion brands, colleges, and the general public to raise awareness and educate on the issues within the fast fashion industry. The Philippines is one of the newest countries to officially join Fashion Revolution, but has already had a huge impact. In fact, there were several hundred attendees for April’s Fashion Revolution events in Manila—which included a workshop for up-and-coming ethical brands, a film screening and panel discussion, and a talk on minimalism that I was lucky enough to lead alongside Jella Jornales, my best friend and one of the few Filipina fashion influencers who promotes only ethical brands. After the positive response that the Fashion Revolution team saw following our events, it’s my hope that the Philippines can play a bigger role as an agent of change in the global fashion industry.

What’s the hardest part about leading this kind of lifestyle?

I haven’t ever really felt that it’s too challenging to live this way. Probably the biggest challenge that I face in promoting ethical and minimalist living is convincing people that my lifestyle isn’t too difficult or expensive to achieve. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. I buy mostly used clothing, buy my food (mostly vegetables and fruits!) from an open market that doesn’t package stuff in plastic and that’s cheaper than the grocery store, make my own beauty products, and don’t really buy much beyond the necessities. I usually save money, experience less stress, and have greater contentment by living as a minimalist and conscious consumer! 

The second biggest challenge, and one that I’m currently working on, is cutting out ALL single- use plastic from my life. It's all about willpower. It’s really easy to grab a plastic-packaged ice cream bar when I’m stressed or a package of chips when I’m starving and rushed in between meetings.

As someone who also tries to live as sustainably and as ethically as possible, I sometimes feel frustrated, like the little things I do are futile. Do you ever feel like that?

Though most days I really, really love my lifestyle, there are days where I’m tempted to break the rules that I’ve imposed on myself. Honestly, what keep me going are my faith and just a deep connection that I feel with the people who make my clothes and the other goods that I buy. For me, living ethically is how I interpret the Golden Rule of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” If my life circumstances had landed me in a sweatshop, I’d want someone to be standing up for me and to refuse to be a part of my exploitation. It just makes sense to me to use the privilege I have to do as much good as possible with my everyday actions and decisions. Even if I can’t personally end unfair labor conditions in the garment industry by the relatively small amount of ethical purchases that I make, I am taking a stand against injustice, standing in solidarity with my people around the world.

You have made meaningful encounters here in the Philippines. Would you mind sharing some stories?

Last year when I launched A Beautiful Refuge, I sat with my new friend M over steaming bowls of tinola and learned about how she was just a teenager when she started working in clothing manufacturing for brands like The Disney Company and Victoria's Secret. She made very little, and by the time she'd paid for her transportation fare to and from the factory and for food, there wasn't much left.

A few weeks ago I talked with K, another friend who worked in the garment industry before she was sucked into a life of commercial sexual exploitation through promise of more income and an easier method of survival. I felt a wave of hot anger pass through me as I thought of the wealthy high-level employees of the same multi-billion-dollar companies that "couldn't afford" to pay my friend and countless workers like her a few more dollars a month. How can they live with themselves when their success comes at the expense of the broken lives of others? 

Yet you seem to approach such a grave subject with light and positivity. What keeps you motivated?

I learned early on that the best way to encourage others to try making more ethical lifestyle choices wasn’t by using guilt or shame. Asking someone how many slaves were involved in building their closet is more likely to make a person defensive and offended than to make them receptive to learning how they can promote kindness and justice through their wardrobe choices. Instead, I try to get people around me excited about ethical and minimal living and promote the positive and freeing impact it can have on their lives. You can’t go around pointing fingers at people and expect them to change. I think that joy and compassion are much more powerful motivators than guilt and shame, anyway. I love hearing from readers of my blog who have switched to more sustainable habits. My family has also been really affected by the way I live, which is really cool. One of my four brothers, in particular, is even more hardcore than I am with his minimalist lifestyle now—a classic case of the student surpassing the teacher.

Ethical fashion is usually perceived as elitist, reserved for those who have an elevated spending capability. For people living within a budget, fast fashion stores offer an affordable way to shop and have a style. What do you think of this?

It’s true that ethical fashion can seem unattainable for fashion enthusiasts on a budget. Clothing that is made responsibly, of course, has a higher price tag to ensure that there’s enough of a profit to pay the workers who made those garments fairly. However, there are lots of ways to watch your spending, prioritize ethical goods, and still have great style like using what you already have. There is no shame in repeating an outfit. Re-make and re-style the pieces you already own. Most of us have items in our closets that we’ve never worn, or that we’ve worn only a few times, so how can we creatively re-think the way we use those items so that they’ll have a regular rotation in our wardrobes? There's also buying secondhand. Ukay-ukay shopping may not be glamorous, but it’s an affordable way to add unique items to your wardrobe and keep textiles out of the landfill at the same time.

You also mentioned buying less and buying better.

Yes! Instead of spending P500 a month on cheap T-shirts and tank tops that you’ll need to replace in a few months when they fade and rip, save up for three months and spend P1,500 on a beautiful blouse or pair of recycled shoes made locally. Ethical fashion isn’t that far off from the prices you’re used to paying for name brands. Here in the Philippines, you can often purchase beautiful, ethically and locally made goods for the same price as buying something from a popular British or American brand. If you’ve ever bought an over-priced, brand-name item, you can afford an ethical fashion purchase. It's really about choosing and making an effort to find out what's out there, which companies are manufacturing with as little social and environmental havoc as possible.

[uobattop-blog]

Being Reborn: An Update on The Marina Project

In April of last year (2016), Professor Ewan Fernie of Birmingham’s Shakespeare Institute, along with his project partner, Dr Katharine Craik (Oxford Brookes), led a six-day series of Research and Development workshops with Royal Shakespeare Company (RSC) practitioners. These workshops were aimed at developing a new play entitled Marina, Fernie and Craik’s response to Shakespeare’s Pericles. For an overview of the project, including a working synopsis of the play, click here.

[Philip Arditti (Lysimachus) during the workshops. Photo by Katharine Craik.]

As we mentioned in our previous blog post (linked above), the next stage of the project is the publication of Ewan’s and Katharine’s essay on their uniquely creative research process. The collection in which the essay will be published, New Places: Shakespeare and Civic Creativity, is edited by Fernie and Paul Edmondson, and is expected for publication later this year (2017) in the Arden Shakespeare imprint. The essay offers an excitingly detailed look at the theories, aims and processes behind the Marina project, and we’re giving you a sneak peek at some of the key insights here…

[Artwork of the ‘Chastity Bird’ character in Marina, by Tom de Freston]

As a project that engages with Shakespeare but also with some of the most urgent and controversial issues of our time, Marina is richly complex . As well as placing the character of Marina more firmly at the centre of Pericles, Ewan and Katharine wanted to explore whether her commitment, as an immigrant, to ‘radical chastity’ might make ‘a progressive, critical and questioning contribution to the shared life and culture both of the displaced and of the host society’. One reason for exploring this is, as they say, the fact that ‘the challenging subject of migration and sexuality remains more or less untheorised’.

Furthermore, Ewan and Katharine’s vision for the R&D workshops, and for the project more widely, was ‘to foster an experimental conversation which might break through the habits of thought which typically keep our disciplines so cleanly separate from one another, and aloof from the wider world’.

This cross-cultural and interdisciplinary approach is exemplified by the range of contributors to the project, who were as follows:

-          Professor Ewan Fernie, Chair of Shakespeare Studies at the University of Birmingham’s Shakespeare Institute. Expert on Shakespeare and politics, philosophy, spirituality, and religion, especially in relation to modern and contemporary life.

-          Dr. Katharine Craik, Reader in Early Modern Literature at Oxford Brookes University. Expert on the history of the body, mind and emotions, and, of course, the works of Shakespeare.

-          Erica Whyman, Deputy Artistic Director of the RSC. Erica was a key player in the development of Marina, with Fernie and Craik attending several meetings with her to discuss the themes of the work as they emerged. ‘Radical mischief’, Erica’s mission-defining concept for The Other Place, was an important influence in the development of Marina as a character, and on Craik and Fernie’s concept of ‘radical chastity’.

-          Richard Twyman, Artistic Director of English Touring Theatre. In the past, Richard has directed extensively with the RSC and the Royal Court Theatre, as well as having worked at ‘Le Jongle’ migrant camp in Calais.

-          Rana Haddad, Syrian-British journalist for the BBC and Al Jazeera, who had recently returned from working with displaced Syrians on the ground at the time of the workshops.

-          Abdul-Rehman Malik, journalist, and Programme Manager for the Radical Middle Way, an organisation which provides faith-inspired guidance to enable change within communities across the world.

-          Dr. Mark Williams, psychologist and expert in depression and suicide.

-          Professor Corinne Saunders, medievalist and medical humanities scholar at Durham University.

-          Professor David Fuller, experimental literary critic and scholar at Durham University.

-          Tom de Freston, painter and (at the time) University of Birmingham Creative Fellow. Tom is currently artist-in-residence at Medicine Unboxed, an organisation exploring the links between art, medicine, and the humanities.

-          David Knotts, composer. David has previously worked with prestigious organisations including the BBC Symphony Orchestra, English National Opera, and the Endymion Ensemble.

[Thusitha Jayasundera (Thaisa) during the workshops. Photo by Katharine Craik.]

The workshops included a group of BAME actors with experience of migration, deliberately chosen to broaden and enrich the conversation. 

The actors involved were:

-          Kae Alexander (Philoten/Chastity Bird), best known for her work in Game of Thrones, Bad Education, and House of Anubis. Kae is originally from Japan, and moved to London at the age of 10.

-          Philip Arditti (Lysimachus), known for his role as Uday Hussein in House of Saddam and Saleh Al-Zahid in The Honourable Woman. Philip is of Swiss-Italian and Jewish Sephardic heritage, and grew up in Istanbul before moving to London in 1999.

-          Paul Bazely (Pericles), best known as Troy in Benidorm, as well as for roles in Casualty and Black Mirror. Paul has a very developed interest in non-violence, which he contributed to the group.

-          Vincent Ebrahim (Antioch), best known as Charmain Beukes in Sewende Laan and Ashwin Kumar in The Kumars at No.42. Vincent is a South African actor who migrated to England in 1976.

-          Thusitha Jayasundera (Thaisa), best known as Tash Bandara in Holby City and Ayesha Masood in Silent Witness. She has also appeared in the National Theatre interpretation of War Horse. Thusitha is a Sri Lankan actress who lives in the UK.

-          Aysha Kala (Marina), known for her work in Second Coming, Indian Summers and Shameless. Aysha is a British-Indian actress born in London.

[Philip Arditti (Lysimachus) and Thusitha Jayasundera (Thaisa) during the workshops. Photo by Katharine Craik.]

Finally, following the workshops, Ewan and Katharine sought the opinion of another scholar, Professor Dawn Chatty, renowned expert on migration and forced displacement, and former Director of the Refugee Studies Centre at the University of Oxford. This discussion touched especially on the need for research into the links between political and personal forms of displacement.

This rich and varied collaborative team allowed the Marina project to develop in novel and unforeseen ways, and these are detailed in Ewan and Katharine’s essay. Some key realisations and changes included moving the play’s setting from Brixton to Seven Sisters, exploring the role of chastity in Islamic culture, and testing ways in which Marina might resist the demands and traumas of patriarchal society.

Katharine summed up the pace and excitement of these developments: "We arrived on Monday morning with a strong concept and some difficult questions. We left on Friday afternoon with a new play crackling into presence. During one extraordinarily intense week, The Other Place became a laboratory in which to test out our hunches, give colour to our scene sketches - and, of course, to get our inklings up on their feet to see how they fared off the page. Introducing 'Marina' to our RSC cast and director felt like opening a tinderbox next to a box of matches. The team's exceptional creative openness showed us what research can be at its best: a vivid, challenging, spontaneous, unpredictable process which draws inescapably from life itself. Our new play is now pulsating with energy, and we can't wait to get back to our desks to develop the script further in the coming months. Meanwhile we continue to work with our collaborators - both creative and academic - on a book about the work of the Marina Project at large."

Influenced by other work they have both done in the arena of civic Shakespeare Ewan and Katharine also hope to discover through their continuing project ‘whether an engaged approach to the plays [might] open up avenues of protest, opposition and dissent, helping to forge new freedoms within civil society for its nay-sayers and outsiders, those who explicitly wish to challenge the way things are’. Their essay in New Places is the next step in that approach, and in sharing their vision further. Its publication will be announced here and on the Shakespeare Institute and The Other Place websites.