#or the other thing she recommended was lithium. which feels like wuite an escalation | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 months ago

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Just remembered I have a psychiatrist appointment so early tomorrow. And I obviously dyed my hair so recently because there's green staining on my face. I don't think it's going to look great for the bipolar diagnosis, to disclose that I was feeling impulsive and wanted to get control over something, so I dyed my hair at midnight.

#i dont really like this psychiatrist but ive only seen her once so i figured i should give her one more shot #last time i saw her she adked how i liked my anxiety meds #i said i love them. theyre helpful and have no side effects since my body got used to them #and i said i explicitly didnt like ky old ones cuz of how they made me feel #she prescribed the old ones and said i should just tey taking a smaller dose. even though im on meds i like #but the bigger problem is #we went over all my previous medications. ive been on several. a lot of antidepressants especially which is really bad for bipolar #the worst antidepressant cause pericarditis (swelling around my heart) that made me go to the emergency room #we went over that. i told her everything i just told you #my bipolar leans heavily into the depression so she decided to tey another antidepressant along with my mood stabilizer #can you guess which antidepressant she prescribed? can you??#and i didnt realize it at the time because she called it the generic name so i couldnt explain she shiuldnt prescribe me that #and i meant to callher about it but it completely slipped my mind and i thought i had more time #and then suddenly my appointment is tomorrow #or the other thing she recommended was lithium. which feels like wuite an escalation #eapecially since she said it can cause irreversible damage to (maybe remembering this wrong) my kidneys #like i feel like there must be a better option. none of which are anxiety meds i dont like. an antidepressant that sent me to the hospital #or something that could cause irreversible damage. like i feel like theres a better way #i also need to talk to her about setting up an adhd assessment #i had an assessment a few years ago in which i was told im 'too smart to have adhd'#calling adhd people not smart is bullshit. you cant be too smart to have adhd. and i feel like i was just dismissed because im female #he said he wished he could score as hugh as i did on the knowledge tests #man me too. maybe then you wiuldnt be such an idiot. how did you get a license to practice. how did you pass any higher education #are you just a random guy that walked in off the street? i refuse to call him a doctor #i call him a quack or by his full name because i don't think he deserves the respect of that title #what was i talking about. oh yeah trying another assessment with an actual doctor this time #wish me luck with my appointment tomorrow bcuz she might try to kill me again #or dismiss my concerns of adhd like she dismissed my dislike for my old anxiety meds #im in hell. being mentally ill is hell a little bit #actually its not. im fine with my mental illness. im not fine with how doctors treat me because of it

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