#sewer pigs

[briefbestiary]

Enormous feral beasts. Hampstead's Sewer Swine were seemingly so terrifying that some toshers would carry means of defense when entering the sewer systems.

[jumpyj3st3r]

Slums Fanart

[evagora]

been playing termina. i fucking suck balls mannn does anyone have any advice for beginners

[m0e-ru]

walking up to the atIus localization casting office with this in a usb drive

[fuckyeahpizzatower]

the only good things about the pizza tower sewer level is the music & pizza monster peppino. he is, cute

[tree-of-blue-squirrel]

No, not beasts plural. Beast singular. The Beast of London.

Humans didn't make the big ben. Do you really think those dumbass Britains could make a clock that big? Those big gears are way too heavy, how'd they get those up there. No way. It was the beasts

[enigmaris]

Danny Kills the Joker AU

Danny is on the run in gotham, as you do in dpxdc fics. His parents are dead and he is trying to stay out of Vlad's custody. Gotham has plenty of ectoplasm to hide his ecto signature. It also has a high enough population of homeless people that no one would even notice Danny just showing up.

He's been living rough in gotham, mostly sticking to Crime Alley and The Narrows, sleeping in abandoned buildings or in relatively clean parts of the sewer system. He eats what he can find and does his best never to be seen.

Not good enough since he along with like 30 other street kids get picked up by joker goons and tied up. Joker is planning an explosive party for the city to watch and he needed guests. Joker literally set up bombs of joker gas around the city that will go off and send the entire city into pandemonium, killing millions. The only way to stop the bombs is to kill his guests (homeless kids from Crime Alley) which the city can vote on. Kill themselves or kill kids.

Danny is sitting at the edge of the group, listening as Joker televises his new plan to the entire city.

He really, really hates clowns.

He is also not gonna let this guy kill all of these kids. He may not be a hero anymore but those protection instincts didnt die with his parents.

And also fuck that clown.

He phases through his bonds, and then starts asking the various kids to borrow their hat, gloves, and scarf. Gotham street kids take one look at this out of town kid and mentally wish him luck while planning out his funeral. They keep on acting terrified because as stupid as this kid is being, they're not snitches either.

Danny puts on the borrowed clothes to hide his face and hair. He can't be identified, or Vlad is gonna be on his ass tomorrow. Once fully covered he gets up and into view of the camera. The Joker notices him, turns around to laugh and jeer at him. Probably shoot him for being impolite and interrupting him. Danny doesnt even pause just walks right up to the clown and coldcocks him.

Based on the sound of bones snapping Danny admits he might have punched a little too hard. Danny checks the Jokers pulse and immediately panics. Danny has Batman levels of fear around killing and he is panicking about becoming Dan.

"Holy Shit I killed him!" He says, to the entire city because the camera is still rolling.

Cue:

Danny running for his life, trying to hide away from his fear and guilt.

Red Hood becoming like his dad and drawing up mental adoption papers

Harley Quinn also drawing up adoption papers, paper ones, while Poison Ivy changes their home's 'no boys allowed' banner to 'son boy allowed'

Jokers goons trying to find Danny to kill him for killing their boss

City wide pandemonium as the jokers death is confirmed and people are partying in the streets, the mayor is planning on giving the street kid who did it the key to the fucking city

The batfam trying to find Danny to protect him from Jokers Goons (Bruce is third in line for custody not that he knows he is gonna have to fight both Harley and Jason for the honor)

The crime alley kids are still not snitching on the kid who saved them. Anyone who asks them about Danny only respond with 'what are you a cop? Fuck off pig'

Vlad Masters, as someone who has been punched by Danny, immediately recognizes the punch and flies to Gotham to find his wayward 'son'.

Vlad even meets with Brucie Wayne to ask for help in finding Danny. Bruce gets bad vibes from Vlad and is even more invested in finding Danny. The boy has dark hair, blue eyes, and a tragic orphan backstory. Its fate!

Danny meanwhile is hiding in some sewer somewhere breathing into a paper bag as he panics about becoming a world ending threat.

[smudges-all-around]

The first live album from Pigs in the Bar was recorded on August 18th, 2022 (later released in early 2023). The concert was held for only 150 lucky fans in the sewers of southern Chicago. The concert only lasted an hour due to city noise ordinance and permit requirements.

The band played their biggest hits as well as one new song, "Hog Tied". "Hog Tied" will be on their next album to be released later this year.

[butternuggets-blog]

New fear unlocked

[floilee]

(Yelena arrives from a mission)

Kate: Oh no, you're giving him back.

Yelena: But Kate Bishop, he's so cute.

Kate: You didn't let me come home with the turtles we saved in South America.

Yelena: Because you thought they'd learn karate and live in the sewer after 18.

Kate: And what's the difference?

Yelena: The difference is that this little fellow here was being cruelly victimized by chemical experiments.

Kate:

Yelena: And I blew up the laboratory floor.

*Kate picks up her cell phone.*

Yelena: What are you doing?

Kate: Researching guinea pig cages with slides.

[jadelover69]

PRESENTING... YUMI WOODS!! (again)

(i started this in Dec 17, 2024 😭💔 || dividers by @.kodasworld and @.dollywons)

(took layout inspo from @.viperbunnies, @.angelwishess, and @.theolivetree123 oc intros!! TYSM HEHE)

The bubbly and outgoing prefect of Ramshackle. Looked down upon by her peers for her talkative nature, something she does not pick up on but wishes to fix.

₊˚⊹♡BASIC INFO

Name: Yumi Woods Nicknames: Pompom Crabbie (Fl*yd) , Mademoiselle Maîtresse (Rook), Henchman (Grim...), Dearest, Dear (Jade!!! 😻😻😻😻) Nicknames for others: Idiot/Sewer Rat, (Ace), CayCay (Cater), Muffin Man (Trey), Babe, Mama (JADE!!!! 😍😍😻😻😻🥰🥰🥰) Character Inspirations/Characters she’s twisted from: Mabel Pines (biggest inspiration) Pinkie Pie, Maddie Hatter Age: 16 Height: 182.88 cm (aka 6,0 LMAOO) Dominant Hand: Right Gender: Demi-girl (she/they) Orientation: Pansexual Birthday: August 24, Favorite Food: Skittles Least Favorite Food: Bacon Grade/Class: Freshmen or Class 1-A Dorm: Ramshackle Favorite/Best Subject: Astrology Homeland: ???

Dislikes: stereotypes, sour candy, the Dark Mirror, Crowley, her MULTIPLE crushes and one ex Likes: kaomojis, mermaids, pigs, romamce novels/movies, ziplining, grappling hooks, climbing,

Voicelaims: (❥•THESE ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE!!) ENG - Aiura Mikoto (TDLOSK) JAP - Amy Rose (Sonic Adventure 2)

₊˚⊹♡PERSONALITY

A very bubbly girl in her own world. Extremely fascinated by all thngs love even considering herself to be a good matchmaker (not that many can confirm that statement...)!

However she develops crushes very quickly. Which is heavily tied into that inferiority complex you mentioned in regards to her brother.

She felt neglected and less important, so she overcompensates and imagines all of these people, some of whom she barely even knows, could potentially like her, as a way to try to get that affection she longs for.

Ohhhh....and I can see her parents' divorce playing into the fact she seems to develop crushes and then drop them so quickly.

(credits to @moonyasnow beacsue WOOWOWO)

₊˚⊹♡APPEARANCE

A tall and lanky dark skinned girl with a high ponytail and dark brown hair.

Brown eyes with one having a star that emotes her specific emotions.

Colorful makeup, usuallly wearing pasty pink lipgloss.

₊˚⊹♡BACKGROUND / LORE

She was born to a ’happy’ couple in California with her twin brother, Malcolm. Over the years she and Malcolm grew apart, him growing smarter and Yumi getting ’dumber’. Sure she had friends and he didn’t but... what good would that do her? And of course due to his intelligence her parents cwred more about him, fostering a growing inferiority complex deep in her. She grew tired over this and one night she decided to go out with two friends, which they dared her to search through one of her grandaunts office and get a box of t-shirts. Searching through her (grand)aunts office she found a mirror seemingly bland but she was drawn towards it. It was covered with triangle patterns she couldn’t help but fawn over. She found the way it made her inch closer, magnetic in a way if she thought about it more. The mirror becomes to glow dimly until its grows brighter and brighter blinding her and she falls(?) into the mirror.

₊˚⊹♡RELATIONSHIPS (wippp)

MOST NOTABLE

Jade♥︎: IN LOVE...? || She’s SO DOWN BAD for him, which he knows and finds amusing. In no world would he ever reciprocate her feelings though. Only until after Book 6, he entertained the idea of being in love with her, her being kidnapped surprisingly shook him up in the long run.

Azul: SIBBLINGSSSSS!!!!! || During Book 3, they at first didn’t think much of eachother, Azul thinking she was annoying and Yumi thinking him as rude. But as their relationship progresses they care for eachither more and more. They adore eachother and wish that the other gets what they want in life.

Sam: THAT ONE UNCLE || They first OFFICIALLY met during Book 2, Yumi stuffing candy into a shopping bag and him convincing her to buy a grappling hook. After that interaction she kept coming back into the shop and he kept convincing her to spend money on candy.

Ace, Deuce, and Grim: ’UNRELUCTANT’ FRIENDS... || At first they didn’t care much about eachother often fighting and berating eachother. However they grew closer after almost DYING together multiple times. They can’t help but wish Yumi grows a stronger skin though.

જ⁀➴GALLERY

(aka art/writing/stuff of her!!)

TAGS:

general tag - #yumi woods

oc x canon GENERAL tag - #*ੈ✩‧₊˚starshroom𓋼𓍊𓋼

oc x canon ART tag - #🛼rollerskating mushroom🍄

₊˚⊹♡EVENT CARDS

THE GOLDEN FROST FESTIVAL

CHEERFORNRC

₊˚⊹♡ART MADE BY OTHERS

SHES SO CUTE KYAAAAAA TY TY FOR DRAIWNG HER IT MEANS A LOTTT

(both made by @.haeoflii)

(left made by @.liyuviq and right made by @.mhedusard)

(left made by @.blood-red-hummingbee and right by @.the-rini-rush)

(both by @.ghostiidasponk)

(left by @.ghostiidasponk and right by @.viperbunnies)

(both by @.anonymousplant)

(left by @.anonymousplant and right by MY TWIN @.shinysparklesapphires)

(left by @.viperbunnies and right by @.teighveepao)

(there WILL be a part two of the gallery 😭)

+transparents

[arjudy224]

The Intern (Day one)

Working for the Gotham Department of Environmental Protection is not for the weak of heart. Follow along for a day in the life of Gotham’s newest environmental intern.

What did he say in the interview? “We typically don’t take interns.” With each slippery stride through god knows what, I think I understand why. Who’s takes the intern on a tour of the sewer on their first day?

I don’t complain though; Dr. Harrison is not kind to complainers. If you can ignore the horrendous smell and the suits ability to become a sauna within a couple steps, it is really just like any other job. My boss calls over his shoulder.

“You brought that pepper spray right?”

I pause for a moment to adjust my suit.

“Yes sir.”

Why would they create a hazardous waste suit with such narrow eye holes? Fumbling with my mask, I stumble straight into a surprisingly solid member of my group.

“I’m sorry…” I apologize backing away.

Pulling my arms out of the external sleeves, I manage to wipe out the fogged up interior goggles. Once my field of vision clears, my heart drops.

The scales draw my attention first. In the dark, they shimmer and shine against the waste water. I’ve never seen anything like it. The hulking figure peers down at me with eyes that glow yellow in the dark.

When I was a kid, I used to love Animal planet. It didn’t matter how cruel the animal kingdom was; I was enthralled learning about it. Crocodiles have the strongest jaws in the animal kingdom. They can cut through bone… easily.

Trying to ignore the vivid image of a crocodile crushing a pigs skull on network television, I smile awkwardly underneath all my layers. He has a skin condition; this is a human man.

“I didn’t see you there. Thank you for steadying me.”

The prehistoric looking man regards me with curiosity. He is human…A human with razor sharp claws that have allegedly skewered other humans for dinner…Nobody’s perfect?

Before I can contemplate what my skull would sound like getting snapped in half, Dr. Harrison interrupts the silence.

“Waylon, meet our newest intern. You two will be running into each other quite a bit this summer.”

Hesitantly, I reach out my trembling hand.

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Jones. I hope to see you around.”

The reptilian eyes regard me with suspicion. In a swift motion, Killer Croc’s scaled hand envelops mine in a slightly painful shake.

“The last one said the same thing before I had to pick them out of my teeth.”

Oh god. A loud burst of nervous laughter explodes from my chest.

“I’m afraid that won’t be necessary. I carry floss on me.”

Both men flash incredulous glances my way.

This is going to be a long summer.

The Intern: Gotham x reader

The Intern: Day one

The Intern: The Laughing Fish

The Intern: Busy Work

The Intern: Outreach Gala

The Intern: Teachers Pet

The Intern: Visiting an old friend

The Intern: Chemical Valley

The Intern: Billionaire Boys Club

[taffycandyqt]

How do you think the 2003 tmnt boys would deal with a really smart s/o who is not very good at picking up on hints and always needs the direct approach socially and they’re always upfront themselves too cuz they don’t even know how to do hints? donnie is speaking in pig latin, hinting at something and s/o is like “… what?…” They understand his science nerd talk, but him socially hinting at something discreetly goes over s/o’s head completely or back before they were a couple “What? You like me? I thought you was just being nice… I’m so glad though. I like you too”?

Sorry if this wasn't exactly what you asked for😓 I started writing and the characters just wrote themselves.

Masterpost

Request Rules

Take a Hint!

2003 turtles (seperate) x reader

warnings: none

fluff

Leo:

Let's be honest, all the turtles are just really bad at flirting.

I mean, they've lived in the sewer their whole lives and the first girl they ever met was April.

Leo doesn't really know much about love but he is determined to romance you.

He'll start watching a bunch of movies with Mikey.

Mikey will be a little less than pleased that they all have to be romance or have romance in them but who is he to judge his brothers movie taste?

He's just happy to spend more time with Leo where he isn't being the leader.

Back to Leo though, dude tries everything to seduce you.

He gets you flowers, makes you food, takes you out, heck he even learns to dance for you.

And somehow. You don't get it.

Leos not even trying to hide it at this point.

You don't even pick up on his feelings when his brothers tease him for it IN FRONT OF YOU.

You're so dense.

April tries to help you connect the dots but your brain ain't braining apparently.

She ends up telling Leo that your not gonna get it unless he tells you straight up.

Leo isn't to thrilled about that.

He's not used to this romance thing and now he has to put himself in such a position of emotional vulnerability?

It's not that he thinks you'll be mean to him, but not knowing wether you feel the same way offers too many unknowns for him to be comfortable.

Eventually though, after a bit of back and forth with himself he'll tell you.

A moment ago you were playing games with Mikey and Donny while enjoying some pizza. Now your following Leo out of the lair and far away from the pizza you wanted to finish. You just know Mikey is gonna eat it. You try and keep your focus on the pizza you left in the lair to distract yourself from Leo. Him and his gentle touches as he tries to help you onto a building rooftop. To distract from the fact of just how alone you two were. From the butterflies that erupted in your stomach when he turned to look at you.

The sky was dark but the city lit your faces. The lights of buildings and cars glittering from far away. The wind brushed past you both as you kinda just stood there. Leo had said he wanted to talk to you yet he hasn't done a lick of talking after taking you out here.

"Leo?" You voiced. It was a bit difficult to speak since the silence seems to palpable. He blinked and adjusted like you had caught him off guard. Which you kinda did. He had made up his mind to tell you how he felt but in his spontaneous decision making he didn't actually think of how. So he had spent the time staring into space spiralling about how to say it.

"Y/n I-" he began, "I wanted to tell you..... Um."

You were starting to get really worried now. Leo never stuttered, he never acted like this.

"Is something wrong Leo?" Your voice laced with concern.

"Wha-? No! I mean... everything's fine! I promise.."

You reached out and rested your hand on his shoulder.

"Take your time," you looked him in the eye, "if nothing's wrong then there's no need to rush." You smiled at him encouragingly.

Leo sighed and tried to clear his mind. You were right, there is nothing wrong. As your hand slipped off his shoulder he looked you in the eye.

The gentle breeze brushed past you both. Your eyes met his and he felt completely entranced by you. The lights of the city highlighting your silhouette making you glow. He felt hot in the face and he couldn't help but take a shallow breath before speaking.

"Y/n, I think I'm in love with you."

Raph:

Raph is probably the least in tune with his feelings out of all his brothers.

It's not that he dislikes being vulnerable, he has been vulnerable multiple times with the people he cares about.

But that's just the thing, he cares about them and he knows they care about him. He's safe.

He doesn't feel particularly unsafe being vulnerable with you.

Honestly you safe presence when he's being vulnerable is probably one of the reasons he fell for you in the first place.

It's just that he hates feeling lesser than.

He has virtually no experience with these types of feelings and interactions.

So the idea of telling you makes him feel like he's being put in a situation where he is seen as naive and inexperienced.

And out of everyone in the world, your the last person he'd want to see him that way.

So he'll do literally ANYTHING to get you to figure it out other then the direct approach.

Even takes advise from Mikey of all people.

From genuinely loving and welcome surprises to stupidly humiliating himself Raph has thrown every subtle and not so subtle hint at you.

Yet no matter what he does you just aren't getting it.

Mikey has been "helping him" with some not so great ideas so when he suggests the direct approach Raph though ABSOLUTELY NOT.

It would take a lot of time and everyone, even Splinter, telling him to be direct before he even considers it.

When he finally decides to go through with it? He is not happy. Not at all.

But at this point what other choice does he have?

You, Raph, and Casey had been out "patrolling" the city. "Patrolling" being the excuse for motorcycle racing around the city whilst ignoring traffic laws. Why where you invited? Simple. There are only two motorcycles. Casey's and Raphs.

You were clutching onto Raph for dear life as he raced around the New York city streets. Normally Raph would be doing all kinds of stunts jumping over or sliding under different obstacles as a way to gloat to Casey. But he didn't want to jerk you around too much. Especially with the death grip your keeping on his shell.

Also because this wasn't really a race. He asked Casey to pretend this was a race so he could drive you somewhere. That all Casey knew, no matter how many times he asked why Raph never said. So while Raph took his turns around the city Casey made is way back to the lair making it seem to you that Raph had beat him in the race.

As Raph slowed the bike you noticed you were at the park. It was dark out so lamps illuminated the path. There were some people walking around but not many, if Raph was careful and stuck to the shadows he should be fine. The park was almost peaceful if it weren't for the constant and eternal bustling of the city.

"Is this the finish line?" You asked, still convinced there was a race.

"Uhhhh, yeah. But we left Casey pretty far back there so... We might as well walk around," Raph eyed you unsure, "I mean it beats sitting here waiting for that slow poke to catch up."

"Sure sounds like fun."

And with that you both set off on a short walk through the park. Not wanting to be seen by any unsuspecting passerby you both stuck to walking behind the trees and bushes lining the path.

You both talked about nothing in particular. You just spent time enjoying eachothers company and it did Raph some good to calm his nerves. He had tried everything under the sun to tell you how he feels and you still don't seem to get it. Well everything but actually telling you. He didn't want to, but he was going to. Tonight.

As you both turned a corner lined by shrubbery you noticed how trees completely secluded the area ahead of you. No one could could see in or out unless the took the path you and Raph did. As you both decide to take a seat on the grass and just enjoy the night Raph felt his nerves come back to tie up his guts.

You both sat for a while, not speaking. I comfortable for you. A heavy one for Raph. Eventually it got to the point where if he didn't say something now, the perfect time, he knew he never would.

So without looking at you, or any warning, he won't for it.

"I love you."

Donny:

Donny LOVES subtlety.

Science is all about those subtle differences that can alter an entire study.

And BOY was he good at subtlety.

He would use relations between different parts of his project to hint at his feelings for you.

He would do that thing where the person would come up behind you and put their hands over yours to help direct you.

Stuff like that.

Did it make you blush? Yes.

Did it get his feelings across to you?

Ha ha

No.

He literally doesn't know what he's doing wrong.

After a while BB is so close to believing that you just don't feel the same until Splinter suggests being direct with you.

He would just stare at Master Splinter in the most 'I didn't about that's type of way.

He just didn't think that was something that people did ya know?

He never considered it cuz he just never did.

He's not embarrassed about his feelings, though he may be a little flustered.

He feels so dumb after the suggestion was made.

Bro was like, how did I never think of that.

Now that he knows though, he is going straight to you.

You were playing cards with Splinter and Raph when Donny approached you.

"Y/n!" He said with a smile on his face.

"Hey D! What's up?"

"Actually, now that you ask," he rubbed the back of his neck "I was wondering if I could speak with you in private for a moment?"

"Oh uhhhh, sure, just. Let me find someone to give my hand to."

"Splinter grabbed your cards from your hand, Michelangelo!"

"Yeeeeeess?" Mikey looked over the back of the couch to where you were playing.

"Come here, you are playing in place of y/n" he said waving Mikey over.

You cringed, you were doing so well! You may not have beat Splinter but you were beating Raph!

"Oh oh, I like where this game is headin'," Raph grinned.

You groaned, Mikey was totally going to ruin whatever victory you had in mind.

Regardless, after everything with the game was settled you followed Donny out of the lair and into the turtle van parked in the garage. Donny was fidgeting with his fingers the whole way there. It set a sort of awkward tone for the silence. You were also slightly concerned too, it wasn't like Donny to be nervous and fidgety. Awkward, sure. Nervous? No.

When you took your seat in the van Donny sat himself right across from you, though he didn't look you in the eye.

"So what's up Donny? Is something wrong?"

"Oh no! Not wrong perse," he finally looked at you, "Just trying to figure out how exactly I want to word this."

You were getting more nervous by the second. What was he going to tell you. He always had the right words to articulate what he's thinking. Why now is it difficult? You started picking at your fingers waiting for him to speak again.

"Okay, I think I've got it!" He said turning to look you fully in the eye now.

"Y/n, you have always been one of my closest friends. I enjoy our conversations and having you around makes me smile,"

This could being in their a really good direction or a really bad one but all you knew is that you were really confused.

"However recently my feelings have developed into something a bit... more," he paused. His chest tightened and his stomach felt hollow.

"I don't want to hide my feelings or pretend like they're not there. I understand if you can't return my feelings but I figure it's only fair that you know that I.." he reached out and put your hand in his, "I'm in love with you."

Mikey:

Out of all of them I feel like Mikey is the most likely to be direct.

If he's not it is solely because he's embarrassed.

Dude will blush and giggle at you like a flustered school girl.

It honestly looks so stupid but in a strangely endearing way.

When Mikey tries to be subtle with his feelings about you it doesn't work.

To an outside viewer it doesn't look like he's trying at all.

He is though.

He really is🥲

So it's safe to say that when the revelation is made that you didn't know, everyone was kinda shocked.

(Raph might have called you dumb)

They probably confronted you about Mikeys feelings, after assuming that you already knew and didn't reciprocate, hence your lack of action.

They'd be all, 'look your our friend but if you don't like Mikey you need to tell him so he can get over you'

And you'll just sit there like, 'but I do like Mikey, what do you mean????'

Once you figure out that they mean ROMANTIC feelings Mikey will be horrified that they told you.

"You have a crush on me?" You asked Mikey curiously.

"Wha- WHA- WHAT?!!"

You were sitting on the couch while Mikeys brothers surrounded you. They were trying to tell you something about letting Mikey down easy. It took a while for you to understand what they were saying but when you finally did you were shocked. You had no idea. So when Mikey came from the kitchen with his normal carefree attitude, asking him was all you could think to say.

"WHO TOLD YOU THAT!" Mikey panicked and looked at his brothers with a mix of betrayal and embarrassment, "DUDES??!"

"Eheh. Sorry Mikey, we thought they already knew," Donny shrugged. He felt bad for outing his brother but what's done is done.

"If we had known they were more dense then you we wouldn't have said anything," Raph told him slightly peeved.

"HEY!" you frowned at Raph.

"YOU TOLD THEM!!" Mikey was in full jittery panic at this point.

"We thought they already knew considering how... obvious, you've been. We thought they were leading you on," Leo explained, "We didn't mean to tell them Mikey." Leo looked apologetic.

"I think we should leave you two to talk about this," Leo told the others and led them somewhere else in the lair.

You and Mikey didn't move. He stood there starring at the floor while you were starring at him.

"So was what they were saying right? Do you have... feelings for me?"

"I... umm... yeah," Mikey told you, completely red in the face.

"Well that's good," you giggled.

"huh?"

"I do too."

[oldgayjew]

October 7th 2023 ...

The gates of Hell opened and a horde of pig-eating, shit-sucking, knuckle-dragging, sub-human, pagan, infidel insects crawled out and butchered 1,400 human beings at a rock concert and then crawled back into their sewers using the Koran as a shield and claiming to be victims ... and empty-headed brats find it really nifty to have a "cause" to promote so they blindly "protest" and hate in the name of lies and pure bull-shit ...

"Chickens For KFC" will have a better chance of surviving than these cretins will when the Muslim shit hits the fan ...

(Do I sound pissed ... I am ... and I don't care who doesn't like it)

[cosmerelists]

The Great Mistborn Era 1 vs. Stormlight Debate: Whose Planet is More Barren?

As requested by anon. :)

Part 1: Flora & Fauna

Hoid: Welcome, welcome, to the great Scadrial & Roshar debate!

Hoid: Kelsier, would you like to start?

Kelsier: [slaps down picture of mare flower]

Kelsier: THAT.....is what we used to have.

Kelsier: Now all of our plants are a dreary brown, trying to survive in a world blanketed in ash.

Kelsier: We have some horses, some dogs, some cats, but I wouldn't say it's a teeming zoological wonderland.

Kelsier: Because, again, the land is 99% ash. And nothing much can survive.

Hoid: Shallan, your reply?

Shallan: No place with life is barren.

Shallan: But if I WERE going to make this argument, I might point out that what we have.....is crab.

Kelsier: Like....just one big one?

Shallan: Oh, we got crab-dogs. Crab-bugs. Crab-oxen. Crab-people. But they're all essentially Crab.

Shallan: To be fair, we do have a few other types: we have horses too (so that cancels yours out) and pigs.

Shallan: And our plants? Well, they do have color, to be fair, but they are basically all things that have to hide in crevices to survive the giant continent-crossing storm that roams around making a "zoological wonderland" pretty tough for us as well.

Hoid: [carefully considering]

Hoid: As much as I hate to say it, this point goes to Kelsier. I've been to both places. Scadrial is indeed an ash-brown sewer pit.

Kelsier: (Yay?)

Part 2: Food, Leisure, the Arts

Elend: Let me say this first: if you're born a noble, then the situation is not that bad. You have food, you have dancing and music, you have culture.

Elend: But that is not how it is for the majority of the population.

Elend: The majority of the population are skaa, who are enslaved, and who do...not have any of those things in a good way.

Elend: So if we go by the majority--as we should--then yes, our planet is notably barren in its food, its leisure pursuits, and its art.

Kaladin: We do war mostly.

Kaladin: We eat rocks.

Kaladin: It's soulcast rocks, which means it is turned into grain. That tastes bad.

Kaladin: And that's not just darkeyes, who are the oppressed people. The lighteyes live pretty much the same way. Although they do more leisure stuff when they're not at war.

Kaladin: Then there're the parshmen, who locked away their consciousnesses and got enslaved, and who had to relearn things like how to play cards once they were freed. Because their enslaved lives were truly devoid of anything good.

Kaladin: So.

Hoid: Yeah...I'm giving this point to Roshar. It sucks there.

Elend: ...One day, I WILL win a debate.

Part 3: Morality

Ham: Morally barren? Yeah, we got that on Scadrial.

Ham: Turns out our Lord Ruler, who became kind of a god, physically rewired the population so his friends could be nobles and everyone else would be slaves. Like, they became physically different.

Ham: Others he used hemalurgy on so that they became nonhuman--like the kandra and the koloss, who can be taken over and controlled due to their spikes.

Ham: Plus, like, our society just ran on horrible slavery. I don't want to go into it, but it was bad.

Ham: And while I think any ability is morally neutral at the outset, our "murder people to steal their power" ability, hemalurgy, is hard to spin in a good way.

Venli: I see. So humans basically did shitty things to other humans?

Venli: I'm a Listener, aka a native of this planet. Humans came here after destroying their own planet.

Venli: Made my people into rhythmless slaves.

Venli: And we're STILL fighting a literally eternal war where some people on each side can't die, so they just keep coming back more and more insane.

Venli: Also even among themselves? The human system of deciding who's good and who's bad based on eye color of all things? Whack.

Hoid: Wow! You've both made such good arguments about why your societies are morally barren and horrible to live in.

Hoid: I do think Scadrial is worse, though.

Venli: A human would say that.

[frailgun]

i think all platform fighter players are cankerous glassy-eyed sewer mutants unfit to eat out of the trough with the pigs but even i think they deserve better than what they've done with multiversus