#Kelsier

[cosmerelists]

If Cosmere Characters Were Given Three Wishes From a Genie...

As requested by anon. :)

[A few of the jokes in this are WAT spoilers! They are marked in the entry title in case you need to skip 'em]

Cosmere characters have just rubbed a magic lamp and now they're being offered three wishes by a genie! How will that go for them?

1. Steris

Genie: There are three rules! Genie: I cannot kill anyone, I cannot bring anyone back to life, and I cannot make anyone fall in love. Steris: (Taking notes) Can I wish for more wishes? Genie: No. Steris: Can I wish for someone else to have more wishes? Genie: Also no. Steris: Can I cancel a wish in the future if I no longer want it? Genie: ...no. Steris: Can I modify a wish after wishing it? Genie: ...no. Steris: I see. Steris: My first wish, then, is to help you create an actual Wish Rule Handbook because that, I'm afraid, is a lot more than three rules. Steris: Let's get drafting! Genie: Why am I afraid

2. Kelsier

Kelsier: Three wishes? Amazing! Kelsier: First, I'd like to finally obtain the exact physical body I've been dreaming of all these years! Kelsier: Second, I'd like Scadrial to be utterly protected from the nefarious designs of Odium or any other hostile Shard. Kelsier: And third, I'd like Hoid to stub his toe every day for the rest of his life. Kelsier: Phew! That was way easier than what I've been doing! Kelsier: I can't believe I wasted hundreds of years on machinations, ha ha! Genie: ... Kelsier: What?

3. Szeth [Mild WAT spoilers!]

Szeth: (suspiciously) Wishes? Szeth: As in, things that I personally want? Szeth: What is this, some kind of therapy? Szeth: Away with you! Genie: H-Hey, if you want to wish for some therapy, it sounds like that might be kind of helpful for you? Szeth: Away, I say! Genie: Well, I tried.

4. Taravangian

Taravangian: [slams a 400-page tome down on the table] Taravangian: This is my first wish--it includes caveats for every possible loophole, bad faith interpretation, and/or unintended consequence. Taravangian: I declare that this whole book constitutes the sum total of Wish #1. Genie: ...Which is? Taravangian: I'd like Hoid to stub his toe every day for as long as he lives. Genie: ... Genie: That wish required 400 pages?! Taravangian: I like to be thorough.

5. Vin

Vin: I would like to always have the exact metal or metals I desire in my flask as soon as I desire them. Vin: I'd also like Elend to feel a surge of reassurance that yes of course I love him whenever he feels doubt. Genie: Two very fine wishes. What is your third? Vin: Hmmm.... Vin: Honestly, I just keep thinking that I'd like to be faster than a horse. Genie: ...Like, horses in general or one specific horse? Vin: Just...horses in general. Genie: ...It's not the weirdest wish I've heard today.

6. Adolin [WAT SPOILERS!]

Adolin: Oooh, I've always wanted the ability to point at an outfit in a fashion magazine and instantly have that outfit in my perfect size. Genie: Granted! Adolin: I'd also like Shallan to be brought here safely to Azimir if that's what she wants--like, please ask her first just in case. Genie: Granted! Adolin: ... Adolin: I would also like everyone to think I gave those wishes in the reverse order. Genie: Granted! Adolin: Wait, does that count as a wish?? Adolin: ... Adolin: No, actually I'm okay with that.

7. Azure

Azure: I would like to know where Nightblood is, please. Azure: I've been looking for so long! It's IMPOSSIBLE to find! Genie: [silently hands her a map] Azure: ... Azure: IT'S BEEN ON ROSHAR THE WHOLE TIME?!

8. Lightsong

Lightsong: You grant three wishes, huh? Lightsong: I can only grant one wish. And I have to die to do it. Genie: That's a tough break. Lightsong: Well, to be fair I live a life of luxury and worship, rather than being trapped in a tiny lamp. Genie: I appreciate that. Many people treat my abilities as frivolous, wishing for things they could obtain for themselves if they tried or for things they should never truly have. Genie: It is a genuine relief to meet someone who understands the true import of wishes. Lightsong: ... Lightsong: I was gonna wish for you to hand me that glass so I don't have to get up, but now it feels awkward. Genie: ... Lightsong: I'm just really comfortable right now.

9. Kaladin

Kaladin: [muttering to himself] Can't wish for all of my friends to be safe. They'd probably be magically locked in a room forever or something. Kaladin: I could wish for Oroden to grow up happy, but what if that means he dies if he gets sad or something? Or like loses the ability to feel things? Kaladin: I could wish for Moash to go back to how he was, but how could I take away his ability to make choices? Kaladin: It's too much! I don't want any wishes! Genie: Uh....granted? Kaladin: Did that count as a wish???

10. Venli

Venli: I wish for your freedom. Genie: ... Genie: As your first wish? Venli: Yup. Genie: Not as, like, your third wish after you obtain two other wishes? Venli: Nah. Genie: W-Who are you?? Venli: I'm a Willshaper, baby. Tumi: [hums contentedly]

[chill-reading-books]

Kel?? Vin?? WHY was it wrong?!??

[libralita]

I was looking at TikTok comments and someone was theorizing about how Kelsier contradicts himself about whether he has allomancy or not in the lost metal. I respond with the word of Brandon that confirmed that Kelsier is lying to the ghostbloods about his allomancy. The commenter responded by saying that they don’t listen to what an author has to say. Which would be fine if they hadn’t follow up by saying that they like to get their information through reading the books AND THE COPPERMIND.

Like. Bro? Do you click on every footnote to make sure you’re not getting any information from a q&a? I wish I had screenshot the comment but I’m pretty sure the person immediately blocked me after giving a really pretentious “thank you”.

If you only want to get your info from the books, I get that but are we really pretending like a large chunk of the coppermind isn’t literally just from WoBs?

[runmienn]

I never shared my Mistborn animatic here so I may as well post it now👍

reproduced/used under license from Dragonsteel, LLC.

[maxbarthelemy]

More ancient mistborn fanart from I don’t even know when. I need to do some era 2 stuff.

[lamaery]

The Final Empire Thumbnails 1 -18

Since I had to reread Era 1 anyway I decided to combine getting into the vibes of the world with some art practice and do a speed run of illustrating moments from it while I make my way through the book. The thumbnails are all painted in greyscale with using gradient maps to add color and atmosphere.

[thetransscholar]

Kelsier: "I am the survivor of Hathsin! I returned when none thought I would! I will become more than a sliver of adonalsium and become corporeal again! And I will bend this Cosmere to my will!"

Kaladin: "Seems like a lot of work. Have you tried having supportive friends?"

Kelsier:"...what?"

Kaladin: "I mean, I just refused to die each time that something tried to kill me. And then I found inner peace and I'm helping others to find theirs."

Kelsier: "..."

Kaladin: "And I keep coming back from the dead, man. And I mean, this time I literally died. There's a body and everything. And you can bet that Bridge 4 is 100% certain I'm still coming back. They're definitely going to start a religion or something anticipating my return. Those guys have way too much faith in me."

Kelsier: "..."

Kaladin: "Anyway, I've found that working through my own issues and helping other work through theirs is much more fulfilling work than trying to amass power. So I'm gonna be hanging with some quasi-dieties doing group therapy for a while. If you're not busy with anything...?"

Kelsier: "..."

Kaladin: *waits hopefully*

Kelsier: "Get bent"

Syl: "I like him!"

[sscaredssheep]

there might be a finishing part to this idk

[sauriodesu]

[tyresw]

Kaladin and Kelsier having a Who Can Survive Harder competition and Kaladin is winning.

[tanoraqui]

every time Harmony talks about needing a Sword, to do immediate Ruin for long-term Preservation, I do kind of want to take him by the hands and say, Sazed, my love, you have an ENTIRE Kelsier. Both your predecessors somewhat cattily identified this as his primary function and mode of operation. I know he is, as a person, a sentient rogue nuclear missile addicted to convoluted manipulation plots and defying every authority up to and including the physical and spiritual laws of nature, but you literally have the same fundamental goal of protecting Scadriel, so I am begging the two of you (@Kelsier YOU TOO, BUSTER) to just coordinate your fucking plans for five minutes.

[chill-reading-books]

HAHAHA LOL

just goes to show

Suck it dumb Kelsier

Consequences of your own behavior dude. You need to seriously think about your approach to all this

[itsnotmika]

“vin and elend are dead” TO YOU. to me they are actually very much alive and happy

[tomeofmonie]

Illustration collab with @vampariart

Kelsier from the mistborn book series

[botanicaxu]

Some Kelsier doodles!

[hunkybeans]

Mistborn: What if Jesus was a murderous con man with a huge grudge against God?

Stormlight: What if Jesus was still on the cross and had to suffer every day forever?