#setting a reminder to go back and add IDs for these

[thedoodlebuggo]

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I'll upload the masterpost for this once i introduce some of the other AUs

[fluentmoviequoter]

It's Your Life, But Let Me In

Requested Here!

Pairing: Jim Street x fem!reader

Summary: You overhear Chris and Molly giving Street a hard time and ignoring his boundaries. When you encourage him to make his own decisions and remind him that you are with him, he realizes how different you are.

Warnings: spoilers for and dialogue from S.W.A.T. 4x7 "Under Fire", angst to fluff, Chris and Molly, love confession, kissing

Word Count: 3.8k+ words

Picture from Pinterest

Masterlist Directory | Jim Street Masterlist | Request Info\Fandom List

“Luca needs to get back from Germany,” you bemoan. “I’m starving.”

“There’s this crazy new thing called cooking for yourself. You should try it sometime,” Hondo replies with a smile.

“I have tried and it’s not the same.”

Hondo rolls his eyes and pats your shoulder as Lieutenant Lynch enters S.W.A.T. HQ.

“What are you doing here so early?” she asks you.

“Nothing better to do.”

“Wow. Thanks for that,” Hondo interjects. “I’m not going to let you visit Street anymore if you’re going to treat me like this.”

“You should blame yourself for sending Luca away. I’m irritable because I’m hungry.”

 ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

Across town, Street is facing a similar problem of being hungry in Luca’s absence. He’s taken a different approach: less complaining and more cooking for himself and Molly.

“Maybe not as tasty as Luca’s special breakfast burritos, but, uh, as long as he’s in Germany, it’s gonna have to do.” He sees the time and adds, “I’m running late. Would you mind plating these? I’ll be right back.”

“Plating?” Molly repeats. “Think maybe we need to stop binging those cooking shows.”

As she moves the food from the pan onto the prepared plates, three plates she notices but doesn’t stop to wonder why, Jim’s phone begins vibrating on the table.

“Babe, your phone!” Molly calls. When she doesn’t receive a reply, she looks at the caller ID: State Prison Lancaster. “I think it’s your mom!” she adds.

After two more vibrations, she answers and says, “Jim Street’s phone.”

“This is a collect call from state prison inmate Karen Street. Will you accept the charges?” an automated voice asks.

“Yes.” When the line connects, Molly begins, “Mrs. Street, my name is Molly. I’m Jim’s girlfriend.”

While Molly answers his phone, Street gathers his things and thinks of you. You’re supposed to stop by the station this morning to visit, and he’s planning to take you some food because he knows you miss Luca’s incredible meals as much as he does. Upon returning from the bedroom, he sees Molly on the phone and asks, “Is that my phone?”

“Yes,” Molly answers, covering the microphone. “Just a sec, Mrs. Street. Here’s Jim.”

Street takes the phone and ends the call before sliding it into his pocket. He returns to the kitchen and shakes his head at his mom’s antics.

“Jim, what are you doing?” Molly asks. “That was your mom.”

“Yeah, I know. Why would you answer that?” Street replies.

“What if it was an emergency? Which it was. She’s really sick. Says they’ve got her at the prison infirmary.”

“She’s fine.”

“She didn’t sound fine.”

“I promise you it’s just another one of her scams to suck me back into her life.”

“If you’d talked to her, we’d know for sure, wouldn’t we?”

“There’s a reason that I never mention my mother to you. I’m done with her. She’s out of my life. I don’t want her anywhere near me, and I definitely don’t want you anywhere near her. Believe me, it’s for your own good.”

Molly stands in her place, unable to see where Street is coming from. She doesn’t understand why he is so comfortable leaving his mother alone, especially when she calls to tell him she’s not doing well.

“You know,” Molly says after a moment, “I’m going to be late. I’ll grab breakfast at work.”

“Molly,” Street calls after her. “Just wait a second, Molly.”

He sighs as the door closes behind her and sets the empty pan to the side. Street has never been great at relationships, but after Molly ignores his reasons and wishes, he’s not sure she is the woman worth fighting for, anyway.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

“Good morning,” Deacon says as he looks over your shoulder.

You turn quickly and smile when you see Street walking toward you. He extends a covered bowl of food, and you gasp excitedly before thanking him. His close-lipped smile immediately clues you into the fact that something is wrong.

“Are you okay?” you ask softly.

“Yeah, I’m good. Enjoy the food.”

You nod and thank him again before he walks away with his team. After their morning meeting, you hope to spend a few more minutes with Street and get to the bottom of whatever bothers him. Years of friendship have brought you incredibly close to him, and you want him to know that you support him, no matter what he is going through. However, you also know that he is with Molly, so you respect that boundary, too. While you want to hug him, hold him tight, and promise that everything will be okay, that isn’t your place. Until he invites you in, you are happy being an onlooker in Street’s life.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

“You made breakfast,” Chris muses as she shakes her head. “Guess that means Molly stayed over.”

“How’s that going?” Deacon asks. “You planning to settle down sometime soon?”

Street inhales before he shrugs. “I guess we’ll see how it works out.”

“Hey,” Hondo calls as he gestures for Street to hang back and talk to him. Once the rest of the team is out of earshot, Hondo says, “I haven’t heard much about your personal life recently. Your mom’s not still giving you trouble, is she?”

While you look for Street to thank him for the delicious breakfast, you accidentally stumble upon him talking to Hondo about his mom. You stop in a nearby hallway, and prepare to turn around to let Street finish his conversation privately. He tells you a lot about his life, and though you don’t know how big that is for him, you think you probably already know what he’s going to say: he has everything under control, even if he doesn’t, because he has trouble asking for help.

“I got it all handled," Street answers as expected.

“That’s not an answer. Talk to me,” Hondo replies.

“She tried to call me this morning from prison. Molly answered, she didn’t know any better.”

On that note, you do turn and walk away. Molly is not your friend, Street is, so now that the conversation has shifted, you feel wrong about eavesdropping further.

“That doesn’t sound handled. Your mom still locked up?”

“Yeah. Violating parole should’ve been just a year, max, but she’s still there, so it can only mean she’s still screwing up.”

“You don’t talk to her?”

“No. I mean, I did, early on a couple times. But it’s always the same old BS with her… How she’s a victim, how the C.O.s or the other prisoners aren’t treating her right. Nothing’s ever her fault.”

“She’s still blaming you for being there?”

“Probably. She was never exactly the forgiving type.”

“All right, look, kid. I’ve always tried to have your back where your mom’s concerned. Now, we banged heads over it early on, but when it comes down to it, you got to do what’s in your heart.”

Street nods, but lately, what his heart wants goes against what everyone around him thinks is right.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

“C’mon,” Chris says, “I have to do the boring part of the job and I could use some company.”

You nod and follow her into the kitchen and dining area of S.W.A.T. HQ. Technically, you were supposed to leave a while ago, but you’re still worried about Street and want to stay close in case he needs a friend. Yes, his teammates are also his friends, but since you don’t work with him daily, it is easier for him to open up to you. Or, at least, that’s the reason as you see it.

Chris gives you a few directions so you can help her and make the project go twice as fast. You work side-by-side and talk about your plans for the weekend. Even though you aren’t on the team, Street’s teammates always make you feel like part of the family when you stop by.

“So, any big weekend plans to tell Street how you actually feel?” Chris asks.

Luckily, the door opens before you can reply.

“Oh, hey,” Street says when he enters. 

He smiles and asks what you’re still doing here, but you don’t get to answer before Molly walks in.

“Molly, what’s up?” Street asks.

You return your attention to your task, and you and Chris speed up to get out of the room as quickly as possible.

“I know you’re busy, but I called the prison to check on your mom.”

Once you hear that Molly crossed such a clear boundary, you freeze momentarily before growing desperate to escape this conversation.

“You did what?” Street demands.

“She wasn’t lying, Jim. I talked to a doctor, it’s something with her liver. They’re transferring her to a hospital for tests. It’s bad.”

“I told you, I want nothing to do with her. You know our history. Her- her drug abuse, alcohol, violence.”

“Every one of those things is consistent with her being abused,” Molly argues.

“Do not go making her a victim.”

You finish what you’re working on and look at Chris. She picks everything up and points hurriedly at the door. A tiny part of you wants to hear where this is going, but you and Street are too close to throw away your relationship over something he will tell you when he’s ready.

“Well, that was…” you begin as you walk into the hallway.

“It’s going to be a long day,” Chris sighs.

“Not what I was thinking,” you murmur.

You look back over your shoulder at the door and wish you could go in and encourage him to do whatever he wants, whatever he thinks is right. But Molly is in there, and you trust Street will always do the right thing no matter what she says.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

Street watches you leave and wants to follow you, but Molly continues arguing.

“Babe, your mom is a victim. I deal with women like your mother all the time, their lives destroyed by the trauma of being abused and never getting help. Twenty years ago, she needed treatment, and all she’s had is a life of black eyes and incarceration.”

“This is my fault for having her locked up again?” Street questions.

“No. But, Jim, this is the woman who gave birth to you.”

“And dragged me through hell every day since. She betrayed me, she lied to me, she stole from me, she almost cost me my career at S.W.A.T. I can’t believe you’re taking her side on this.”

“I’m not taking sides.”

“Don’t you think maybe you should be? You know what? I can’t do this right now. I’m at work, okay? I just…” Street turns and walks toward the door as he finishes, “Can’t do this.”

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

You leave the station soon after Street returns from his conversation with Molly. You plan to visit again when he gets off and remind him that you’re here for him, but he is at work and has more important things to focus on than his mom, girlfriend, or you. There’s a brief moment where you consider calling Luca and asking him to talk to Street. You decide against it because Jim probably doesn’t need anyone else in his business right now.

When you arrive at the station, Deacon sees you in the parking lot and insists you go inside. He noticed Street’s off attitude, too, and thinks you're the cure.

“Are you sure?” you ask quietly.

“He needs a friend. That’s you.”

You nod and walk into HQ. Street isn’t around, so you sit beside the locker room and are soon unintentionally eavesdropping for the third time today.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

At the end of the shift, after a long day of saving firefighters and finding a shooter, Chris and Street are in the locker room and preparing to leave. Street wants to go home, maybe call you, and then enjoy some alone time without anyone asking him what he is going to do, or worse, tell him what he should do.

“You figured out how you’re gonna make it right to Molly yet?” Chris asks.

“How I’m gonna make it right? I’m not the one who needs to apologize," Street replies.

“We got out of there as fast as we could, but I heard enough to know, you… You’ve got some fences to mend.”

“You also heard how she totally went behind my back with my mom.”

“Her motive being, what? Compassion? Giving a crap about women who’ve had a messed-up life?”

You pull your phone from your pocket and press Street’s number. He doesn’t answer, and you frown before standing. You don’t want to hear more than you have to, so you walk to the parking lot and wait beside Street’s bike. He exits the building alone and is clearly in no mood to talk, but you must ensure he knows that Molly and Chris are wrong. They have no say in his personal life and are never willing to be there for him.

“Hi,” you greet. “I know you’ve had a crazy day and you’re ready to get home, but I need to say something first.”

“Let me guess,” he begins defensively. “You’re going to tell me that I should go see my mom or apologize to Molly. Why not make it better and say both?”

You fight down a smile at his response. At least he hasn’t lost his personality in the day he’s had.

“Actually,” you reply, “I was going to tell you that Chris and Molly overstepped. None of these decisions are theirs, and, in the end, it’s your choice. Because your life is the one being most affected. I just thought you could use a reminder that no one gets to make these calls for you. It’s your life, Street. I, for one, am with you no matter what you decide to do.”

“What if I make the wrong decision?” he whispers. Every trace of defensiveness is gone in his clear doubt about the choices he faces.

“Then you’ll find a way to learn from it. I don’t think there is a wrong decision here; unless, of course, it’s not yours.”

“I really don’t want to talk to my mom.”

“Then don’t. You know you and you know her, so you know what is best for you and your relationship with her. If that’s no relationship, that’s your choice.”

“I don’t know.”

“But you will,” you promise. “You’ll make the best decision for the right reasons. You choose for you, not for anyone else, okay?”

Street nods slowly, and you wish him goodnight before you turn toward your car. Suddenly, you remember he is facing one more decision and spin to face him.

“One more thing, Street. You didn’t do anything wrong, you just stood up for yourself, so don’t apologize unless you think you need to. Don’t let anyone that’s not in your relationship into your relationship.”

“Thank you,” he calls after you.

You don’t see Street’s smile return as you enter your car, but your statements help him more than you thought they would.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

When Street texts Molly and asks her to come over, he fully expects her to say no, so when she knocks on the door a few minutes later, he’s surprised.

“Thanks for coming,” he says as he invites her in. “I wasn’t sure you would after today.”

“I’m here, so…” Molly begins. She trails off and waits for Jim to do something.

There’s an apology somewhere inside Street, where he says he was a jerk and makes excuses for his actions. However, your words are fresh in his mind, and he decides not to apologize. As he looks at Molly and compares what she said and did today to your words and actions, Street realizes something.

Whenever he thinks of taking the next step with Molly or one of the guys asks where he sees the relationship going, he can’t get past this point. Hondo joked that it was his inner playboy, but Street sees now that the issue was never him or a fear of commitment. It was Molly the whole time. 

Since the beginning, Street knew that Molly wasn’t the right one, but he’s finally ready to admit it. Molly was never really there for him, never listened to him – still doesn’t, Street thinks – and she has never been respectful or careful of his boundaries. 

“You may be expecting an apology,” Street says, “but I don’t think I need to give you one. I asked you to leave it alone, and you didn’t. I know you mean well, Molly, but I can’t keep doing this if you’re just going to go behind my back and ignore everything I say.”

“She’s your mother!” Molly argues. “You still have time to fix things with her.”

“That’s just it, though. I’m- I’m not sure I want to. Listen, Molly, I know that you lost your mother, and how devastating that was for you, but it’s not the same situation for me.”

Street’s mind drifts to you. He remembers what you said earlier and realizes it has always been you. You are the only person in his life who has always been with him, listened to him, supported him, and respected his feelings. You respect him and his boundaries no matter what. Unlike Chris and Molly, you’ve never tried to decide for him or make him see your reasoning, but you’ve been there to talk or listen when he needs it.

“Molly, look. I love you; I do. But not in the way that you deserve to be loved, or that I need to love whoever I spend my life with,” Street explains. “You will always be special to me, but I have to make my own choices.”

Molly wipes a tear as she asks, “Like what?”

“When to go get the girl,” Street answers quietly.

Molly nods and rushes out of Street’s house. He sighs before he follows her.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

A loud knock pulls your attention from the book in your lap, and you set it to the side before you slowly walk to the door.

“It’s me,” Street says from the other side.

You release a breath and open the door. It’s late, and you’re confused about why Street is knocking on your door when he’s supposed to be with Molly, but you let him in anyway. When he stops beside your table and stares at the book you left on it, completely silent, you grow less confused and more concerned.

“Street,” you say. You lay your hand on his arm and ask, “You’ve been different today. What’s bothering you?”

“You,” he whispers. 

After you pull your hand away, shocked and heartbroken at his answer, he rushes to explain himself.

“No, listen,” he begs. “What you said earlier changed everything. You told me that it was my decision and that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to, all that. But, when I was talking to Molly about how she doesn’t respect my decisions or my boundaries and tries to force her opinions about what I should do without knowing my reasons, I remembered you.”

You furrow your brows, and Street raises his hands to hold your shoulders.

“I appreciate you, so much. Not just for telling me what I deserve but for being that and so much more. You are the only person in my life that just lets me do what I need to do, and you’re by my side through all of it. Everything that you said I needed, I have in you. Thank you.”

“Of course. It’s your life, Street,” you reply. “But that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.”

“You-“ Street begins again before trailing off. He doesn’t know how to express his feelings because he’s slowly realizing what he feels for you.

“Spit it out, Street,” you say with a smile. “I’m here to listen.”

Street shakes his head but lowers his voice to do as you say. “I loved Molly, but- but Molly didn’t just love me back. She tried to tell me how to love. And Chris- I don’t even know what Chris’s problem is; some days she wants to love and others she just wants to be loved, but never at the same time. It’s exhausting to deal with, but then she argues about what love looks like even though she can’t possibly know.”

You nod along, not sure what Street needs or wants to hear. Staying silent seems like the best option while he works through these thoughts. He’s saying the word love a lot, but never in the present tense or as an active feeling, you notice.

“But you… with you everything is shared. You love without expecting love in return, and you listen and remember. There has never been a moment with you where I felt pressured or ignored, and I love that about you.”

You smile and open your mouth to tell Street you’ll always be here for him, but he cuts you off.

“I love that about you,” he repeats. “I love you because you are everything I don’t deserve, but you make me feel deserved.”

After your eyes widen, you make a noise that sounds like a sob and a laugh. Street waits for you to say something, but you can’t beat the speech he just gave, so you raise your hands to his cheeks and nod. His eyes widen to match yours when a tear slides over the bump of your cheek as your smile returns.

“You said it’s my life, but I don’t have to do it alone, right?” Street murmurs as you step closer to him.

“Right.”

“Then, I think that I’d like to make you a bigger part of my life.”

You don’t hesitate to kiss him, and as he meets you in the middle, you think about how long you have wanted to be part of his life. Being near him was beautiful, but being by his side through everything will be an entirely new and perfect experience. You love Jim Street, and now that he loves you, too, you feel like a part of his life, not an accessory to it.

“I love you,” you say against his lips.

Street’s arms tighten around your waist, and he tilts his chin to kiss your forehead before standing.

“Did you break up with Molly before you came over here?” you whisper.

Street nods, and you bite your bottom lip before saying, “So, you’re giving me her position?”

“No,” Street promises with a laugh. “I’m giving you the position I should have given you a long time ago.”

You kiss Street quickly and laugh when he tries to follow you for more. “I promise to fill my position well, and to always listen to you, respect your boundaries…”

Street ducks his head, and his nose brushes against yours as he replies, “Maybe we could remove a few of our boundaries.”

He kisses you again, and you find that you like your new position in Jim Street’s life more than you ever anticipated.

[puffins-studio]

Zombies AU! 🦠

I got to sew another set of Spydoc doll to add to @picnokinesis ’s fic collection! I was given free reign for koschei’s outfit so obviously I did my best to go all out 😆 even added some extra grim! Image description and explanation of his outfit with all the little Easter eggs and things is under the cut

Even if you don’t like the idea of zombies I highly this fic, am not really one for the gore in zombie movies but this fic it have big on the science side of zombies and am a sucker for and it’s don so nicely! I absolutely love it!

@picnokinesis Zombie AU “Future Dust (blood and rust)”

Bonus pictures of our little meet up! Which was totally amazing!! Taka is just a brilliant and kind person! So am really happy I get to make them dolls base on their fics! As always they just turn out to be really fun to make!

For costumes designed I like zombie koschei’s look as it’s match’s 13’s, the brown shoes, blue pants, purple shirt/sweater. there also a thing going around of villains wearing sweaters but it also give a misleading soft look and the zombie virus probably makes him cold. His jacket have a grey inside and a hood. He also in the same color palette as camper van koschei. I was trying to make him match with Theo and her jacket as what are the chances that they found matching jackets and put them on because it reminds them of each other. A little detail that I added just because I thought he be crazy enough to do something like that, you can see it in the picture but I put a little piece of green felt that matches theo’s bandanna around his wrist just under his sleeve like there a bracelet as if he found a piece of her and he wanted to keep her close/ maybe if it the other way around. And I also just switched which sides their hair parts to what they have in campervan

[ID: The pictures is of two felt doll that are the shape of a gingerbread man with a big head, one is supposed to be the Thirteenth Doctor and the other is Dhawan Master from Picnokinesis’s fic. Dhawan master have light brown felt for skin, black hair with a fringe to his left and sideburns hanging past his ears. He also have brown spotting over his face for scaring. He have on brown shoes, dark blue pants, a purple sweater and a brown jacket hoodie with a grey lining. Thirteen has shoulder length, dirty blonde hair that hang just pass her ears. She has on 13’s purple rainbow stripe shirt, cargo pants and black shoes, and a brown jacket and a green bandanna around her neck. She also has a green backpack with a brown sleeping bag rolled up on top, a metal pipe sticking out of it. With a little embroidery of a planet with a ring, a moon, and a star to be a Easter egg for camper van there a virus shape keychain. 1st picture is them together, 2nd is a picture of the back of the doctor to see her backpack with a brown sleeping bag and a felt metal pipe sticking out of the top, 3rd is a picture of her front, and the 4th is a close up of the master.:ID]

[sugudoe]

Hiii ❤️ Id love a matchmaking if its still open!

As for info, I just graduated from art school at uni, my MBTI is ENTJ, if you are into astrology im a Taurus Sun Leo moon, I dunno the others lol.

I tend to be a tad picky with people, and maybe unwillingly a bit mean whenever someone is slow, but overall im very unconditionally giving in my current rs, even if i tend to do other connections as a bit transactional, I enjoy surrounding myself with ambitious people, success is goal (even if morally grey💀)

I do dance in my free time, i have a huge collection of clothes, bags, ascesaories, etc, as well as doing powerlifting for those muscle mommy gains, so health is super important to me. I play all kinds of videogames too, which i enjoy doing competitive and ranked a lot :)

hello, love! you seem so badass!! 🤍 super important, this one actually reminded me of a gojo one shot i’ll be posting tomorrow, so this focus on satoru’s love language i decided to use as an opening before my one shot. ps: sorry for only one pairing, i’ll be doing this from time to time unless i get confused on pairings — i have other works to post and the matchmakings are for fun, hope u guys understand.

✶ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: gojo satoru

You are meant for success, that’s something in your aura everyone senses — you are going to be the greatest. For Gojo Satoru, you were his achievement. Not in a have you as his trophy type of way, au contraire, he wanted to be yours.

Gojo sees how you are always surrounded by the most influential people, all eating from the palm of your hands, he wants to do the same. Satoru thinks there is nothing better to get them him — the strongest, head of the Gojo clan, bank account filled beyond the unlimited mind could think of.

Unknown to the male, he didn’t need to put himself on the spotlight to get your attention, your eyes had always been set on him, you were going to make him yours in just a matter of time. He easily accepted.

The first thing Gojo buys for you is a large original painting from your favorite artist, he thinks one of the walls in your apartment would look better with it, he is right. It’s a little thing he does, decorating any empty space with something you adore, not noticing the metaphor for your walls being you and this gifts being his love and devotion to you.

Satoru has a thing for your mean version. He loves to be by your side when you snap some rude comments, but he loves even more to be the target of your irritation. There is a thing you do (maybe moving your hair, maybe clicking your tongue, or your pretty mad face), he is all so mesmerized by it.

None of your fights last long, you sprint out of the shared apartment, mostly to go to your dance classes or the gym to relieve the anger. When you come back hours later, stress by the door and tiredness washing over your sweaty body, Satoru is always waiting with a smirk in his face and something to spoil you with.

Most of the time, designer clothes and bags to add to your collection in the closet. Sometimes a diamond necklace he catches you sighing for. This time, he just made dinner, your favorite. You smile gently and kiss his cheek before taking a much needed shower, when returning, still happy and eating while both apologize, Gojo gets you up from the chair.

You both slow dance, against your aching muscles and sleepy eyes, you are so focused you barely notice how Satoru whispers in your ear — “Marry me?”

Turns out, you still got a gift, a beautiful ring.

──── ✎ ° ⋆ FUN FACTS.

◛ ₊· Gojo and you some times have to deal with people making comments about his gift giving love, saying you are a gold digger. That’s the only moment you don’t have to snap, your fiancée does it for you — “Oh, whatever I give Y/n, they can give themselves, I just rather be the one doing it.”

◛ ₊· You spoil him as well, let it be an immense amount of sweets, fancy sunglasses designed for only him or to threaten the high ups and giving your lover vacation.

◛ ₊· Gojo likes to propose to you at least once every three months, you do some grandee thing, an amazing achievement or you just look particular cute that day, and he is again asking you to marry him.

◛ ₊· Satoru can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you, seeing you with white hair is his goals in life, to have you both matching.

◛ ₊· Canonically, Gojo is good at everything he does, that’s why he doesn’t have a job. After meeting you, and your love for videogames, you both learn he sucks at them. So, some date nights is just the two of you in your large game room. You winning easily and he dramatically whining.

[birdofdeath-comic]

THOUGHTS AND PLANS

HEY GUYS SO. if u havent noticed ive been struggling a bunch recently and the reason for that! i had a job! that was awful! but i left! so now i am hoping to get back into the swing of things. hopefully we wont be having any more missed uploads. im gonna keep posting at the usual 4x a week til the end of the year and hopefully after that too, and my some coincidence, part 3 of this story will actually start going up on jan 1st! i didnt plan for that, but its nice to wrap up the first two parts so neatly within the year. im excited for you all to see where things go.

also as soon as i get things set up, i plan to expand my patreon cause there isnt that much on there as of now, im gonna add 2 more tiers, one which lets u read 20 pages ahead so like, 5 weeks, and then another which lets u read the full backlog which is roughly 70 ish pages rn (this fluctuates tho) it would pretty much be you get to read new pages as i make them. id like to add more things to the tiers as well, but i just want to make sure i can keep up with these 2 new tiers first so i dont burn out. so! expect those to be added within the month.

also just wanted to share a lil reminder that you can find me on other art sites/social media under the username wholemleko! especially now that places like deviantart are on fire lowkey lol

thanks for reading if u got this far <333

[snailsdraw]

[Start ID: 5 pages of HLVRAI doodles following the Neo Science Team as they are preparing to head into the Xen Portal.

Benrey says with a mild grin: "time to sleep! oh yeah!" "NO!" Gordon yells at him as Benrey runs in the opposite direction of where they're heading, back down the corridor. "bed is over here! back here!" Benrey continues, undetered and pointing towards the end of the room at corridor. Gordon is exasperated: "It's not even been the 3 hours we usually can be awake for!!" Suddenly, Benrey turns back, dragging his feet and mumbling: "we can't go in that room. there's no bed there."

"Let's go to the alien homeworld...and kill a space god! Or something," Gordon says, his intent set on going through with what they'd initially agreed upon. Darnold, standing beside him, swallows nervously. He begins to pet Sasha, almost out of habit: "O-oh, yes! Yes we were...that was planned...! How could I forget? Albeit... not the... safest option, but I suppose we've run out of all other options-" His petting had gotten a little forceful with the building nervousness, and Sasha lets out a noise of pain when Darnold's fingers dig into her back. "Sorry about that, Sash'," Darnold whispers. Dr Coomer decides to step in, responding: "Oh Dr Darnold, I do believe we sold our safety the moment we stepped into Black Mesa! Don't you remember the paperwork?"

Gordon drags a hand down his face, exhausted: "I- I don't know what you're talking about, man… I don't know what kind of docum- paperwork you've been signing, but I never signed up for any of this-" Bubby raises an eyebrow: "What are you talking about? We've ALL signed our paperwork, Gordon." "What paperwork?" Gordon squawks at him, "You didn't sign any paperwork, you CAME from this place. Isn't that, like, a given?" Bubby simply replies: "Yes, precisely! And I've signed it. Why haven't you?" Darnold sighs: "I know I signed the paperwork, but-" Tommy cuts in to remind Gordon: "We signed it on our first day remember, Mr Freeman?" "I," is all Gordon manages to spit out. Darnold continues: "I know I signed the paperwork, but, you know, one never expects to find youself in such a, a situation where it actually becomes a huge concern. I mean, the occasional chemical burn and fizz accidents are inevitable, and quite avoidable if I may add, but a life is quite a different matter, you see."

Benrey scratches at his chin, looking up in mock thought: "yeah, Darnold's got the right idea. should, uh, listen to him. let's go back, 's boring here." Tommy's eyes fall on Sasha, the Gubb nuzzling into Darnold's arm. He points at her: "O-oh, are you- are you scared- concerned about Sasha, uh, Darnold?" "Y'know, that's probably not gonna be our biggest problem," Gordon says, observantly. "Cuz', I mean, we've seen what she can do, she- honestly, she's got a better shot at surviving than MOST of us. She could be kinda useful, actually."

Darnold shoots Gordon a disapproval look: "Dr Freeman, she's a delicate soul. I would never put her through anything we've been through!" "We- we kinda already have-" Gordon attempts to say. Bubby points an accusatory finger at him: "Gordon, there's no need to be rude, the man is talking about his companion, not a tool!" Gordon throws his arms up in surrender: "You know what? You're right. I'll take this one gracefully and admit that. "Kinda fucked up," Bubby reiterates. "Yeah, yeah," Gordon responds, then speaks to Darnold, "I'll give it to you for managing to keep your compassion in all this, dude. Hey, you might walk out of this sane afterall-" Tommy's voice overrides anything Gordon is saying: "Maybe- maybe the best thing we can do is to leave her here." Darnold tenses at that. He turns back to Tommy, where the latter is looking elsewhere, the MP5 still poised in his grip pointing at the opposite wall. "You said this would be- this was a temporary arrangement…" Tommy trails off /End ID.]

Click here to continue to next post >> Previous story parts found here: [Part 1.][Part 2.][Part 3.][Part 4.][Part 5.][Part 6.][Part 7.][Part 8.][Part 9.]

(This was drawn way before the requests, so if you see an art style difference. No you don't ;).)

(Also yeah, the front part's from canon dialogue. Fitting headcanon into canon babeyyy.)

[finalboyyy]

poison in the well

sam (sdv) x yandere!reader

abusive relationship, violence, extreme jealousy, sebastian hate, angst

this is based on my own experience with my dear sammy. after trying to find cute sam art and finding a lot of sam/sebastian everytime he'd go to the saloon on friday id get sad. until i modded him to be a yandere and then everything was fine! so anyway. might add another part to this later.

"You were out late again."

"Ah- Sorry I got caught up talking to Seb, almost beat him tonight!"

"...So you were with him?"

"Yeah? You know I was! We always hang out at the saloon with Abby."

Fingers rap against the handcrafted dining room table. Like tiny drums daring to disturb the still silence of the night. Something not even the usually loud animals would do.

"Are you... angry..?" Sam's voice is tepid, it reminds you of a child scared to be scolded. It's something you love about him, this hopeful innocence as if bad things couldn't really exist in this world.

Infuriating.

He spends all night out with that man and expects you not to be a little annoyed? When you get out of the mines at 9 and come home eagerly only to find him gone? After everything you did and you were so eager to see him at home?

"I don't like getting home before you."

"I-I know but it's just one night..?"

You can feel the anger in your chest rising. Sebastian fills your head like a ghost, haunting your thoughts and choking out your words. The image seductively places his hands on Sam's hips, a cigarette lazily held limp between his painted lips. Sam has one awkwardly held between his own as well. Sebastian begins to move the two bodys to the rhythm of a painfully slow song, his mouth moving closer to Sam's, the butts of the cigarettes kissing in a hazy blur of smoke, alcohol, and lust. Sickening. You want to throw up. Your chest hurts.

"Y/N?? Are you ok? You look sick. You should lie down-" As he moves closer to your frozen form the smell of cigarettes fills your nostrils knocking out of your daze.

You look up at him with wide eyes, your pupils so small and dilated you look unhinged. Fear sets into Sam when you grab his arm with too much strength that he knows you could break his arm if you tried. Your head tilts to the side as you look into his emerald eyes.

"Y/N... you're scaring me-"

"Why... Why do you... smell like him...?" Your words are slow, laboured, as if it's taking everything in you to spit them out. You don't want the answer. Everything aches.

"Like who??"

"Sebastian." You spit at him the name tastes like venom in your mouth. He's the poison seeping into your marriage.

"I-I? I had a cigarette with him. I don't see-"

Sam can't finish his sentence before he's violently pinned to the table. Your strength from working tirelessly is no match for his soft skin. He bruises so easily under you, like always.

"I won't let him have you. I won't... He can't..."

"Wh-whoa hold on... H-hey y/n l-lets talk about this! Y-your'e hurting me."

You can't hear him properly, it feels like he's talking through an ocean. All you can think about is the sickening smell of cigarettes, Sebastian, the time Jodi told you that she always expected her son to end up with Sebastian, their closeness, that stupid whore.

Sam continues to whimper and plea on deaf ears as you hold him down. Your mind is racing a mile a minute as you boil with anger at Sebastian and you desperately try to come up with a way to keep Sam safe from him. Everytime your brain attempts a cohesive thought about the current position you're in with your husband more doubt and fear swallows your mind.

"Y/n... please...." Sam's voice is so soft, so gentle. Has he talked to Sebastian with this voice? Is he begging you to let him run back to that horrible man?

"Won't... let you go... Can't." Your breathing is laboured as you lean closer to him. "Even if you hate me. Even if you loathe me. Even if you love him-"

"I don't love him!" It doesn't reach you.

"I won't let you go Sammy. My Sammy. Have to protect you. You have to stay inside." That was the answer wasn't it? Never let Sam leave. You were a genius! You dragged him by his aching wrist over to the basement door. Tomorrow you'd go to Clint's and have some chains made, tonight it was enough to throw him in the basement and lock the door.

That's how Sam's new life began.

[ncisladaily]

Why is Sam (LL COOL J) in Hawai’i? That’s the mystery that’s been set up across the first three episodes of NCIS: Hawai’i Season3, and as Vanessa Lachey told us, “Tennant will figure it out.” Well, we’re certainly seeing her trying to do just that.

It all began in the premiere, when Ernie (Jason Antoon) tried to get anything out of Sam, only to come to the conclusion that he’s hiding something, despite the agent’s insistence he’s not. Then, in the second episode, Swift (Henry Ian Cusick), on his way out, told Tennant that Sam was sticking around and she’d have to ask him why. Sam evaded the question and would only say that brass has him teaching a seminar on unconventional tactics in modern law enforcement.

Now, in the third episode, Ernie remains suspicious of Sam, especially since he’s going around telling everyone about that seminar, as he notes to Tennant. It’s odd, that NCIS would send its top OSP agent to Hawai’i to teach a class. She agrees, but she doesn’t get anything more out of Sam, who tells her she can’t attend the seminar because it’s fully booked.

Then, Tennant and Kai (Alex Tarrant) find Sam has taken over the war room—and set it to SCIF (sensitive compartmented information facility) level—for some work. “I was checking in with Kensi and Deeks back in LA, getting some details about a past case,” he claims, agreeing, when she suggests it, that it was for his seminar. “Safety first,” he says. Tennant’s clearly not buying any of it … which is why she tracks his visitor ID’s access and follows when he sets foot in the old admin basement across the street that hasn’t been used since WWII. Inside, she finds him teaching his seminar. It’s both as frustrating as Tennant finds it and entertaining as it sounds. But come on, would you expect this to play out any other way?

Karen Neal/CBS

At the end of the episode, Tennant joins Sam on his boat, and he again pretends he’s just in Hawai’i for the seminar. As far as an official cover goes, it’s a good one, she remarks, reminding him, “I spent half my life as a CIA officer. I know cover.” It doesn’t matter what she believes, she adds, just that she trusts him and she knows he’ll tell her why he’s really in Hawai’i when he can.

But we’re not as patient as Tennant is. Now, we have to wonder if Sam was really talking to Kensi and Deeks (played by Daniela Ruah and Eric Christian Olsen on NCIS: Los Angeles, which ended its 14-season run in May 2023) or someone else, plus if it was about a past case or something else. Before he came to the island, Sam was last seen in the LA finale in Morocco, alongside Callen (Chris O’Donnell), Nell (Renée Felice Smith), and the team she’d put together—including Nate (Peter Cambor) and Sabatino (Erik Palladino)—as part of the mission to rescue Hetty. He was still there and therefore in the neighborhood, when he came to Tennant and Kate’s (Tori Anderson) aid in the Hawai’i Season 2 finale.

Could Sam have been talking to Kensi and Deeks or someone from that team Nell put together about Hetty? We haven’t heard anything about that mission to rescue her. What if Sam’s in Hawai’i because that’s the only place to get information as to her location or something that will help there? Or maybe there’s another open case that Sam’s working and he was talking to Kensi and Deeks about that. It could even technically be a past case that was never closed and therefore he wasn’t technically lying to Tennant and Kai. This could be why LL COOL J was vague when we tried to find out if we’d get an update on any of the LA characters with him now on Hawai’i.

Whatever’s going on, at least it’s clear that we will get answers, with Ernie suspicious and Tennant letting Sam know that he can talk to her when he can. What do you think is going on? Let us know in the comments below.

[horsegirlwarcrimes]

bury's tips to ACTUALLY combat writer's block

a lot of the time when you hear writers talk about writers block and what you can do to fight it, the advice that you hear is 'just write'

i took this to be true for a long time, and it's not the worst advice or whatever. at the end of the day anything you want to get done w writing does need to be solved by simply writing. but it took me until i was writing much more regularly to realize that actually thats nonsense

there are totally things you can do to help w writers block! ive been experiencing a bout of it recently, so i thought id share some tips partially to help out those who might read this, and partially to help myself out of that same slump

FEEDING THE MACHINE. in my experience, a lot of the time writers block is less of a blockage getting in the way of a flow of creativity and more like a machine running out of fuel. thoughts, ideas, and emotions CAN come from nowhere, but... usually they are coming from somewhere! i get my worst writers block when i am bored, under-stimulated, or stuck in my real life. try getting out into the world and doing something you don't usually do. this can be wild and exciting, or small and plain. take a different route home than usual, go for a drive somewhere cool, take yourself to a garden, bookstore, museum. if you're stuck at home try a new hobby; draw a weird picture, bake something, bird watch. this is really my top advice for myself at least, and something i have to remind myself when im despairing my own worth and dedication as a writer. you cant pour from an empty cup! you cant make something out of nothing! theres no point scraping yourself dry without trying to fill yourself back up.

FEEDING THE MACHINE... DIFFERENTLY. same principal applies here, but with what stories you are consuming. what actually got me to start writing and posting fic regularly was starting work in publishing that meant i was reading 1-2 books/manuscripts every day. they were often outside my usual reading genres, and sometimes i genuinely hated them... but they were food for the machine. the brain doesn't care if you like books about cows, the brain cares about variety and expanding its horizons. read something new and interesting! try a classic. try getting into queer classics you've never heard of if you're tired of old white men. read a murder mystery or a biography of a cool person or the history of the romance novel or frued's melancholia. try that new fantasy novel youve heard good things about. even if you only end up reading three chapters, thats still something new youre giving your brain. documentaries are also great for this if you're not feeling a new book; sit back and learn something.

CLEAN UP YOUR ENCLOSURE. humans feel yucky when we're in a yucky environment. cleaning is often exhausting and annoying and it sucks, but so is sitting in an environment that makes you feel bad. try clearing off your desk or table. set something nice you like nearby! choose a sunny spot to work in.

TALK YOUR IDEAS OUT. i really struggle with this one, because i dont like bothering people and im really embarrassed about my ideas, especially in the planning stage. it can really help though! try talking to yourself in the shower like you're being interviewed about your work. try going on some chat site, find a stranger to talk to, and infodump until they leave (or stay and you've made a new friend!). ask around for someone who wants to chat ideas; you can share yours, they can share theirs. if you have a loved one who would listen, ask if they would sit down for 45 minutes and let you talk.

LIMIT DISTRACTIONS. this one also sucks but yknow. turn on forest: stay focused. close discord. ask your dog politely to stop barking. get off tumblr and stop writing advice posts about writers block. turn on some ambient music and rain noises or chappell roan's red wine supernova on loop.

may add to this later as i think of others, but the point here is that writer's block isn't laziness and, even if you do in the end just need to write, there are ways to uplift yourself and make doing so more pleasant. these also dont fully apply to what i think the actual cause is of what we often call 'writer's block,' which is just exhaustion and lack of free time; i wouldn't consider that in itself writer's block. these tips are more for when you have that time, or you're making it, but you just cant seem to make it happen.

[sleepy-hart]

So while working through game concepts and deciding what to work on next, I've been refreshing my Godot skills. Wanting to get back into 3D and prepare for doing more narrative heavy games. Made this demo to learn nathanhoad's excellent Dialogue Manager addon and also test drive Kenney's new Godot platformer kit.

I'm really, really enjoying Dialogue Manager so far and feel it has a tonne of potential. Think it covers a lot of things I've been looking for:

Direct engine integration is super useful, as well as using custom resources to store dialogue. They're also text files so can still use external editor to update

Straightforward syntax, reminds me a lot of ink and yarn. As well it's named node approach feels familiar

Able to access global game variables for conditionals, and having conditional based loops and choices is very straightforward

Also able to call methods directly within dialogue, which is super powerful when combined with signals (showing/hiding coin UI mid conversation, playing sound effect)

Lots of options for random dialogue choices - just used the single line ones for now but in docs have seen they also have option for setting custom probabilities, just ncie to add more flavour

Hyped it has a built in approach for translations (create IDs and reference CSVs) that looks like integrates with Godot's localisation tools - a bit of a future thought but glad it has stuff to help built in

Docs you can mention you can create dialogue resources at runtime. Can imagine this being very useful - an example would be creating a record of all lines seen to replicate Ren-py's "log" feature.

The methods for displaying dialogue are super flexible. At the moment just used their example balloons but looks like it should play nicely to let you build custom GUI - and maybe even multiple forms (e.g. dialogue scenes vs flavour barks in main game world). Think next experiments will focus on this.

There's a few more things I'm keen to learn and see if they're feasible with this - "disabled" choices that still appear but can't be accessed would be nice, also looking at how you can integrate this with an audio system for voice acting - I think they have an example that includes voice acting?

Only thing I'm a bit nervous of is it looks like it can only grab variables from autoload/global scripts, so when putting into actual game will need to take care with save systems and methods for loading choice variables into a choice master global so we aren't keeping too much in memory at once. But if I'm wrong on this assumption, or others have approaches, more than happy to be corrected on this!

Also really enjoying Kenney's 3D platformer kit and it's been fun and . Making the shopkeeper bot was super simple. All the details on the original character model are modelled so just adjusted the face and for changing colours just had to move UV islands for limbs and face to different parts of the pallete textures.

Haven't tried this technique for modelling and texturing before but seen it crop up a few times so will definitely experiment with this in the future. Also might help with optimization - I think most of the materials in the pack refer to this single image texture? By default the pack only has the model glbs and a single colormap png so assuming that's how it's working.

Original plan was to fill in the shop with another pack so there's a few little platform challenges within this, but they all needed collisions adding so might add that in future. But main aim was focusing on the dialogue and think we've got a good approch going forward, and highly recommend the add on for other Godot devs making narrative games!

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Copying the one you sent Finn: tell me about someone you went to school with that you did not like!

OKAY WILL DO.

This is so hard to do bc I hated so many people I went to college with not trying to be a negative Nancy or anything but I stg Kingsville was a CESSPOOL for the shittiest people I’ve ever met (and honestly some of the best!)

This is gonna be long and I might put it under the read more. But I went to middle school, high school and college with this person. She was a year above me and with me in choir and was actually an incredibly mean person in middle school?? Like actively bullied me??? Tried to make plans in front of me with my friends and pointedly didn’t invite me, called me annoying, etc. But then in high school she seemed to chill out a bit and we became incredibly close. Because I’m an idiot.

Flash forward and we’re in college together. We’re both music education majors with a voice concentration. Both in the same fraternity and I have faith in her as a human being at this point because I’m young and again pretty stupid.

Strike One

Amidst Fraternity Drama, she is our VMP and in charge of recruitment events (I want to add, I had this job the next year and admittedly was not very good at it but I think she was worse). We’d gotten nominations for exec board earlier that day. @jlmjlmjlm (who is currently my irl bestie) and I had both been nominated for president, but Cassie (the person in question) was not because she was… so bad at her job as VPM.

I arrive to this event and Cassie is lying on the couch, not helping set up, not communicating and not delegating anything and basically having a tantrum over not being nominated when this thing starts in like??? 90 mins??? So I try to rally her ass but that’s a no go, so I start trying to help out and get things running and it’s not perfect but like I did my best with what I got yk? the event runs fine but I’m so overwhelmed with taking on this extra load that I say “I don’t feel well” to J (bestie) and then proceed to go out into the hallway and have my first ever panic attack which was half my fault for biting off more than I could chew but the fraternity was really important to me at the time so

Strike Two

Flash forward a year. I am now VMP of the frat. Which means I’m in charge of giving membership classes once a week for our members in training. I’m going to be in Oklahoma City during one of our scheduled classes to sing with the SWACDA Collegiate Honor Choir and I think “Hey, Cassie’s given this class before I can trust her to teach one class while I’m gone” WRONG

I’m off gallivanting in OKC and text her to remind her and check in and Cassie says she was a little late but she every thing was fine!

I get back to Kingsville and find out FROM MY LITTLE that she and another sister were at the class at the time Cassie was supposed to be teaching it. And Cassie didn’t show up until the last like five minutes so they had to run the class.

Strike Three

As stated above, I’m kind of an idiot. Sometimes bad things happen to me and they’re truthfully my fault because I have zero self preservation skills.

Anyway. Long story short a mutual friend of Cassie and I (who was also @jlmjlmjlm ‘s roommate at the time. I was staying over at their place pretty much all the time bc I was having issues with my roommates) named Kat snuck into my purse in the middle of the night and stole my card, put it in her Apple Pay, and used it to buy Christmas gifts for our squad, send her sister money, and pay rent. twice.

When my best friend and i found out, we told her apartment complex that this roommate had paid rent with stolen money so that we could get her evicted bc truthfully all I wanted was for that bitch to LEAVE the school. I couldn’t enjoy choir bc she was there and felt so sick because before this Kat was a very good friend of mine id known for years (also went to the same high school as Cassie and I)

Then to find out that when Kat WAS evicted, Cassie told her “That’s okay you can just stay with me.” Knowing full well what Kat had done. So that was kind of the last straw for our friendship. But generally she was also the kind of person to blame every single thing on her “mental health” when in reality… she was just sort of a shitty person. I don’t know what Cassie is up to now, but I do know that Kat failed out of college and went back to our home town so

Anyway that’s probably the person I hate the most from school thanks for coming to my ted talk

Honesty Hour!

[godfrey-the-chaos-duck]

this just in: Irish loser is Sad™ because all my friends can go and do shit but not me apparently

Vent under the cut, I'm really sorry about this but I have to get it off my chest (it's nothing too serious but it is kinda long)

I'm eighteen. I've voted twice. I've finished secondary school. People my age are planning holidays and going to college and moving out and actually living life, and I feel like I'm falling behind so so much.

I don't have a bank account. I don't have a passport or any form of photo ID with a date of birth. I don't even have (or want!) a driver's licence, I will circle back to that later though.

My parents (particularly my mom) keep saying they'll help me get set up with all the above but because Mom's busy with work and Dad's really forgetful, it never gets done.

It's gotten to a point where I don't actually see a point in getting these things set up, for the following reasons:

I haven't had my name legally changed yet so everything would be set up under my deadname. Which. Fuck that.

For a bank account to make sense I would need money and I live in literally the textbook definition of "rural ass farming town" so the only jobs around that don't need experience are working in the supermarket or food service. I would, and I'm not exaggerating here, rather launch myself into a black hole than do those jobs because I've heard from my neurotypical peers how hard they are so I can only imagine how awful it would be for someone with autism like myself. My only other option is to try and get unemployment benefits but like. What would I even be spending the money on? Certainly not a house (the housing market in Ireland is literally impossible) and not a holiday either.

For a passport to make sense I would need to be able to travel, and quite aside from the No Money thing (see above) I've been fucked over by fate yet again because Mom doesn't trust me to go places on my own. She's only quite recently started letting me take the bus to a town half an hour away with friends. I don't even see the use in asking her to go on a train/plane/ferry unaccompanied because I know for a fact she'd say no. She'd say something along the lines of "we should do this together a few times first" which, understandable, but then she's so tired from work and busy with housework on the weekends that that never ends up coming to fruition. Add to that my crippling anxiety, catastrophic thinking and fear of the unknown, and I have basically conditioned myself into thinking I can never go anywhere more than a half hour's drive away without a parent.

I do not want to learn to drive. My dad keeps telling me I should because it would give me freedom, except no it wouldn't. It's not like I could use his car because he needs to go places too, and I could probably never afford my own car cause that shit is expensive as hell to run and maintain, so I really see no sense in learning. Also, I have the navigational skills of a teaspoon, so I would be basically guaranteed to get lost.

All of this has come to a point where I'm super hesitant to ask for anything because I know that either my parents will outright say no, or I'll end up chickening out because they'll remind me there's probably something I haven't thought of. (Mind, they don't often fully explain what)

And this was fine a few years ago when I had no friends and couldn't see how people actually lived their lives, but as my friends are all telling me about things they plan to do, I guess I'm having a lot of realisations.

The first time a classmate of mine said she was going on a holiday independently with some friends of hers, my first immediate thought was, "Do her parents just not care?" This would've been a little over two years ago, when I and all my class were around 16.

Now, though, I'm realising that teens going places on their own is actually NORMAL and that, big surprise, I'm once again the weird one. I told Mom about this and her response was "there's no right speed to do life at" which is right, you shouldn't do things if you don't feel ready to do them, but I don't know, something about this whole situation feels kinda wrong to me.

Here's the thing that's made me emotional today though.

The big Pride festival in Ireland is on June 29th. I wanted to go last year with my friends but Mom said no because it would be "too crowded" and "what if something goes wrong and I can't be there for you" and all that. And the worst part? She's right. It would have been very overwhelming.

Anyway this year, my friends aren't going, so even if by some miracle Mom's answer was going to change, I would feel awkward not being able to go with anyone I knew. So I'm not even gonna ask.

The way I see it, I can't move on with my life in any way as it stands. I can't release music, or publish books, or sign up to act in anything, until I get my name changed, because I do not want to be renowned under my deadname.

But I also feel like I can't change my name until I move out. My parents say they need to know where I am all the time, to the point where I once had an outing with a group of friends interrupted by a call from my father because I had left with the group from the coffee shop he'd dropped me off at, to a different shop somewhere else, two minutes' walk away.

I don't know. I feel like I have no freedom or independence and I'm genuinely unsure whether this is normal for people my age, or if it's an autism thing, or if my parents (again, particularly my mother) are being weird.

Basically what I'm wondering is

Is it healthy to be in this situation? And if not, how can I get out of it?

Again, I'm really really sorry about this, I know I don't usually get all personal on here but just. I feel weird about this and need some advice or at the very least a virtual shoulder to cry on

[saguette]

Hello!!! I'm just here to say how much I love your art! *a very serious look appears over the once silly, I pull out a comically long list and clear my throat.*

The way your art style is reminds me so much of a morning funny cartoon which adds so much to everything you make because a lot of the stuff I've seen you make is gory, so the morning funny cartoon affect paired with the gory art really gives your art a gasp from me everytime I see it.

The colors in your art are so fun and sometimes eyestraining in a way, which also adds to the surprise people feel when they look at your art. It just goes so well when you put every aspect of your art style together. A lot of the times when artists mix up a lot of crazy opposite traits together in their artstyle it can be really hard to make all of their drawings look harmonius or well put together even if they spend a really long time focusing on that, but you do it wonderfully.

I really enjoyed looking at your set of not fanart drawings, the extremely colorful ones. They had great composition, I feel like all of your drawings just have a chefs kiss level composition to them. It's so cool.

Your posing when drawing people is something I will take inspiration from. Your posing is on point fool. The first one of your drawings I saw I went "Damn!!!" In my head. Your art is just so friggin' cool!!!!

This is the most in depth compliment i think I've ever gotten i don't even have words for how flattered it makes me every compliment i receive sticks with me and this is gonna live in my head forever, I'm so grateful for someone to have this much to say about my art. not to get sappy but art style used to be a huge struggle for me because i felt like it wasn't on the same levels as i should've been. i thought everyone would assume the reason i preferred cartoon-ish stuff wasn't an artistic choice and instead was to make up for being "lazy", "inexperienced" or "not talented enough" which made me feel like i should've developed a more "realistic" or "detailed" style to prove i was "good enough" so that id have the right to draw cartoony things. there's too many rules people think they can reinforce in art and trying to follow rules or expectations stunted my growth back then way more than anything. I was so happy to let those thoughts go and I'm so happy to get such love for just doing whatever i want. its so freeing and i cant be anymore grateful than i am. I've had a few other people tell me I'm an inspiration and stuff and it literally blows my mind and fills me with joy i cant even describe, things like this have helped me shake off that self doubt and insecurity and i feel like my best drawings come when I'm not trying hard. I'm still not confident in colors and rendering but stuff like this makes me rethink my doubt and reminds me that i can just draw what i want and someone will like it and that's all that matters. i feel so happy today, thank you groovypaws

[becca4leafclover]

New Creative World Build!

Something new on the other side of the valley, Keima's Alchemy Lab!

(oh my god new shaders make it look SO pretty!)

In the lore of my stuff, this world is a popular settling spot for the people of the multiverse after milennia of strife. It's full of different species, abilities, knowledge and culture. Keima is no exception: she is an individual who was ejected from her homeworld in a freak incident between warring deities and ended up in the multiverse. She rebuilt her alchemy lab in the world she settled in and started teaching her discipline to anyone interested.

(AKA, Keima was the character I played on a dead SMP, and I'm deciding she deserves to keep her story going.)

The waiting room to the lab: mostly a place where friends and family impatiently wait for their loved one to check the time. The front desk has an ID swipe and intercom to control who can go into the workspace of the lab, and someone working at the front desk could check in new people.

The locker room, just a place to put your stuff while you're in the lab! Jewerly not allowed (unless you physically can't take it off.)

The main body of the lab! They keep some unique specimens on hand and have some leftover remnants of past experiments that can't be scrubbed out. In the back is the lab's water reservoir, filled with collected rainwater and heated by lava.

"Alchemy" is a pretty broad term for ultimately, studying the makeup and "truth" of the Universe. It starts in the basics with discovering the properties of life that can be infused into potions, and becomes more complicated when you start tampering with the rules of reality. That dark spot on the ground is bedrock. Keima's current project is trying to ignite the deepslate portal in hopes it can give her clues to finding her old world.

Up the main lift is the potion brewing stations! (...I forgot to add potion bottles for the photo. Oops.) The pipe running across the ceiling supplies the heated water to the stands that need it- a simple drip infusion, and a more complex setup for experiments. And the station in the middle is manual, for potions that don't need heat and don't take too long to brew.

There's a second lift in the tower, one that remains up at the top floor during opening hours of the lab. No one that been up there has lived to tell the tale- at least, that's what Keima says.

Why? Because that's her bedroom, damn it! Can't a woman have her privacy?

Keima is a person who does not care for emotional connections. However, in her bedroom she's allowed herself reminders of where she came from: armor similar to her most powerful set (for that was darkmetal and she was the only person to aquire it), a plant similar to the ones that were grown in her town (where the trees were so tall they touched the sky), a flower from her dead lover (a soulmate she was trying to save), a lantern for her goddess (in a past life not remembered.) She does not want to go back to her homeworld exactly, but she does not want to forget what she left behind if she is the sole survivor of her original world.

Aaaaaaaaand that's it! If you want to see me building more in this world and ask any questions about its lore or my multiverse stories, stop by my streams! I try to stream at least once a weekend and I post here when I'm going live :D

[whizzermania]

Harley’s Body Code Guide Part 1

If you want the official guide of it, please refer to FUA’s official website here. This guide is mainly made for my own convienence and nutshell understanding of it so I might not get everything right—but you’re free to take this as reference too. Most of this stuff is from the page itself so I still encourage checking out the original page.

PREMISE

The Body Code is a specialized code Harley made to combat against SCP-6320’s time loop—which happens every 32 days and erases all recorded data on the anomaly, as if it’s never been recorded, back to Incident A(the Shift).

The code is able to be used as tattoos since tattoos carry over resets—making it possible to record data on the anonaly without worrying about it being erased. This allows it to have many possiblities with it: such as important notes, sentimental value, and more.

THE CODE

The code is organized by a shortened phonetic version of the English Alphabet, dropping some letters and retaining some to fewest letters possible.

Using these sets of letters, you can make shortened words and retain their sound and meaning.

For example, if you want to say “SECURE” you would need to shorten it to “SEKUR”. Insure the word you’re using can retain it’s meaning. The shorter the words, the better.

You can also combine some letters to create other sounds.

E = E, A

D = B, A

V = V, W, F

K = K, C, Q

S = S, C, Z

Y = Y, I

THE CIPHER

The letters selected are arranged on the following cipher grid.

Words are constructed by a base diamond, letters are constructed in littler diamonds inside the base diamond, and vowels simply use dots.

The letters are read clockwise, starting at the top of the diamond. Vowels are usually placed on the consanants that come after it. So for this example: this diamond says “SEKUR”.

The top diamond starts with an S, then with the second diamond on the right you’d have K—and add the E vowel dot alongside it. The third diamond on the left has R alongside the U vowel dot.

A thing to keep in mind with the Y vowel: you’ll notice that you draw a line to go with it. When using a Y dot, they will always be drawn on the edge of the letter diamond, not on a corner.

To form a sentence: the base diamonds are formed in a horizontal array as such.

There is also locational context involved depending where you tattoo the code. They mostly vary depending on each individual but most form of context in FUA include something like:

Inner left wrist: location system used (which Department/Group key you’re using)

Back of Neck: Foundation ID (in case your body is not easily identifiable)

Back: Used by department heads or group as a key to their department’s locational system

Left ring finger: martial status (sentimental)

There is also additional meaning to words by adding an arrow on top of the base diamond; creating a connotation for the word.

Up: Good, safe, favorable outcome

Down: bad, Keter, unfavorable outcome

Left: Caution, Eucild, vulnerable, keep watch.

An example would include something like:

Word: “casualty 9/6/19”

Locational context: Area designated for breach documentation.

Orientation: Down

Phrase: A breach on 9/6/19 suffered heavy casualties.

On the topic of numbers, actually: numbers use the same grid and format as such above.

But the key difference is the caret above the diamond. Dashes can be used as horizontal lines if you are referring to a date as such.

STEP BY STEP TUTORIAL

Before we draw our diamonds, lets figure out what kind of words we’re using. Let’s do something like..Love’s organ donor reminder as canonically said in the show :)

Part 2

[athenaseden]

its like an hour late but i had things i really wanted to add. this is my gift exchange for @roobroker . please enjoy. ( @abbottgiftexchange ) i hope this formats right ....

_________

Janine has an appointment after school and has asked if Barbara could pick her son up and watch them for an hour or two. Barbara had agreed with ease having missed Caleb since seeing him a month ago. As soon as bus duty was over, the woman kissed Melissa a quick goodbye and reminded her to keep her updated on the parent teacher conference. Barbara knew exactly what daycare Janine put Caleb in, aside from having picked him up before she was the one who suggested it in the first place. The trip was a little more than 10 minutes due to afterschool traffic and while she hated driving into school traffic, it was worth it to see Caleb. Making sure to grab her ID after arriving, she made her way in the front door. In the front office sits a few kids, maybe two years old. A gentleman sets one of them down on a playing mat after seeing her, “Afternoon, who are you here for?”

Barbara smiles at him, “Caleb Teagues, please.” He nods and repeats the name into a walkie, “Send Caleb Teagues to the front for pick up.” Waiting for a reply before he turns back to her, “Don’t forget to sign him out when he arrives.” He then goes back to the play mat to clean up. Barbara steps away from the door and waits leaning her back on the wall. She can hear him coming by the running feet approaching and the “Auntie! Auntie!” His mother clearly told him who was picking him up today. When he makes it to the doorway he stops and just yells, “Auntie!” again. 

“Hey, baby.” She calls back and he is back in motion again. Only barely not slamming into her knees, still she grabs the wall to keep herself up. He doesn’t let go immediately and her heart swells a little because of it. She gets to see Caleb more often than her grandkids and being with her makes her miss them every so often. He finally lets go and she leans down to squeeze his shoulder, “Let’s get to the car first, then you can tell Auntie everything okay?” He nods showing his missing teeth with joy. Quickly as she can, she signs him out and checks her phone. The parents for the conference tonight arrived just after she left, Melissa would be done with her meeting much quicker than either expected. 

Finally ready to leave the building she extends her hand for the little Teagues to take and pushes open the door. As she walks, she can feel his little skips in his stride. “Your Auntie Melissa bought you ice cream last night.” Barbara waits for the incoming squeal before she continues. “We have to go pick her up first.” He nods and kicks into a full skip as they round the car. “Why she didn’t come with you?” She unlocks the car and helps him out of his backpack, correcting his sentence before she answers, “Why didn’t she come with me?” Caleb just nods, stepping into the car and plopping into his seat. She misses when he was small enough for her to pick up. It wasn’t that long ago, the precious boy being small like his mother. 

Barbara buckles the boy into his car seat while answering, “She is with someone’s parents. That’s why we have to pick her up.” Swinging his feet and nodding his head, “Okay, yay!” She chuckles and shuts the door back at him. Once she gets in the front seat, he begins to talk about his day. At his speed, she understands some things, like they had applesauce with lunch and colorful spotted cookies for a snack which she tells him were M&M cookies. By the time they have arrived at Abbott he has started talking about his blankets and toys with great detail. 

She parks up front in the half empty lot in front of the school. Picking up her phone she sees the text from Melissa that the meeting is over and just to text her when they arrived. Unbuckling, she turns in her seat, “Caleb, smile for Auntie.” With pride he cheeses at her phone and blinks at the flash as she takes the picture. Although his eyes are closed the picture is too cute not to send. Texting Melissa afterwards, ‘Waiting for you out front.’ From the back seat, playing with his lanyard Caleb asks, “What kind of ice cream?” Thinking for a moment, she can’t seem to remember what ice cream Melissa bought, seeing the bag, or the receipt. Rather than admitting she doesn’t know, she lays the responsibility on Melissa, “You’ll have to ask Mel when she gets in.” 

The two sit there talking mostly about Caleb and his toys or classmates until Caleb spots the red head coming their way. He bounces in his car seat, points, and laughs happily. Melissa is walking their way, hair over one shoulder and her large black bag over the other. Barbara points behind her as Melissa gets closer, directing her attention to the beaming child behind her. Opening the front door, only to set her back down and open the back down and lean in to tickle Caleb. “Hey, big boy!” He giggles and tries to tickle her back, although his hands are on her shoulders rather than her stomach. Chuckling at him, she pulls away, “Let me see that smile.” 

Grinning wide for Melissa, he still tries to talk, “see my ‘issing eeth?” Melissa nods and starts counting, “Missing three! Your big boy teeth will be coming in soon.” Dropping his smile and looking at her questioningly, “But I am a big boy already.” Barbara has to laugh from the front seat, “Yes, but you will get much big, baby.” Seeming to be the answer he needs, he simply says, “Okay.” Lightly squeezing his cheek, Melissa steps back and shuts the door before getting in the car. Behind her, Caleb is feeling for his missing teeth, “Finger out of your mouth, hun.” 

Sitting down comfortably, Melissa leans over the console and kisses Barbara who briefly asks about the meeting again. “It was good. Mostly a progress check from the last meeting.” Barbara nods and kisses her one last time before Melissa can move back to her seat. While buckling, Caleb’s voice fills the car again, “What ice cream ‘d you get me, Auntie Messa?” Turning to her wife with a raised eyebrow, Melissa mouths, “I’m gonna get you.” seeing as her ice cream is being offered up to her favorite nephew she’s not actually all that mad. Looking in the mirror to talk to him, “We have vanilla bean and cookies ‘n cream.” Avoiding listing the one she’s most protective of. 

Barbara is pulling out as more questions come from their back seat, “What color is vanilla bean?”

“White, I guess, hun.”

“But it’s a bean. Beans are gween.”

“Not that type of bean, sweet boy.”

“So it’s sweet?”

“Yes. Very.”

“What kinda cookies are in the ice cream?”

“Oreo cookies.”

“The black crackers?”

“Yes, with the white cream in the middle.”

Similar questions follow them all the way home, even all the way inside until the ice creams are set in front of him. The vanilla bean is in a black container while the cookies n cream is in a yellow one, so he chooses the brighter one. Grabbing three spoons as Melissa scoops out one bowl of cookies n cream and two vanilla bean, Caleb stands politely waiting to help her. Putting one spoon in each bowl and hand one to him, “Hold it with both hands.” Caleb nods and walks with both hands on the bowl, putting it on the table first and then climbing into his favorite chair at the dining table. Barbara joins them not too long after. As they eat their ice cream, Caleb tells Melissa many of the same things Barbara has heard in the car. This time he adds details, like how he has a TRex stuff and a plastic velociraptor which takes them three times to understand, his blue cubby at school and his new light up shoes. 

Melissa and Barbara sit side by side, holding hands and listening intently, catching up on months worth of events. They only cut him off once he has finished his ice cream. “Let’s clean this up.” Barbara stands taking their bowls and walking to the drain with them. Caleb hops off of his seat and walks over to the dishwasher pulling it open. He waits beside her to help her load them. Though Barbara doesn’t often use the dishwasher, she won’t deny that him offering to help makes her proud. “Such good manners.” 

Barbara rinses the bowls and spoons and passes them to him who sets them a little sloppily in the bottom rack. While she dries her hand, she gives him instructions on the correct way to place them in the rack. When he is done, she still bends down to adjust a few things. Melissa stands against the door nodding her head, “Nice job. Very good, honey. Want to play a game?” Running to her legs the same as he had Barbara’s at the daycare, “What game?” Arms locked around her knees, she clutches the wall and looks up at Barbara for help. “Think you can be Auntie Mel at Connect 4 now?” Leaning back now, using her legs as a pivot, “I think so!” Melissa groans a little in pain and leans down the same time as Barbara to pull him free, nearly butting heads. “You’ve got to let go so I can get the game. Then we’ll see if you can beat me.”

For the next hour, Melissa sits on the floor with Caleb reteaching him how to play Connect 4 and enjoying watching how excited he got even when he lost. Barbara sits on the couch behind Caleb trying her best to help him and throws Melissa a pillow to hopefully help relieve what will most certainly be a painful back later. Once Barbara receives the message that Janine is headed their way, she announces it as their last game. Both on the floor pouting, “Last game, then you can clean up and come cuddle with me before your mom gets here.” Melissa’s pout disappears and she leans over their game to whisper, “Last game, loser has to tickle Barbara.” Caleb giggles and reaches out to Melissa, “I win, I tickle you.” The red head laughs and shakes her head, not finding it in her to correct him. He loses again, proudly. They clean up with Melissa poking at him and him giggling and returning to the poke. Barbara takes the box from them once it is done to put it up. Melissa does her best to get off the floor and on the couch.

Barely having sat down, Caleb jumps in her lap and begins to tickle her. “I win. I got you.” She laughs and grabs his hand, “No, honey. I won. I’ve got you.” before attacking him with tickles. When Barbara returns, she watches for just a second before bending over the couch and joining in. For the first time in months their home is filled with the laughter of a child for an extended period of time.