#no I didn’t protect anyone’s identity because fuck those bitches

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Copying the one you sent Finn: tell me about someone you went to school with that you did not like!

OKAY WILL DO.

This is so hard to do bc I hated so many people I went to college with not trying to be a negative Nancy or anything but I stg Kingsville was a CESSPOOL for the shittiest people I’ve ever met (and honestly some of the best!)

This is gonna be long and I might put it under the read more. But I went to middle school, high school and college with this person. She was a year above me and with me in choir and was actually an incredibly mean person in middle school?? Like actively bullied me??? Tried to make plans in front of me with my friends and pointedly didn’t invite me, called me annoying, etc. But then in high school she seemed to chill out a bit and we became incredibly close. Because I’m an idiot.

Flash forward and we’re in college together. We’re both music education majors with a voice concentration. Both in the same fraternity and I have faith in her as a human being at this point because I’m young and again pretty stupid.

Strike One

Amidst Fraternity Drama, she is our VMP and in charge of recruitment events (I want to add, I had this job the next year and admittedly was not very good at it but I think she was worse). We’d gotten nominations for exec board earlier that day. @jlmjlmjlm (who is currently my irl bestie) and I had both been nominated for president, but Cassie (the person in question) was not because she was… so bad at her job as VPM.

I arrive to this event and Cassie is lying on the couch, not helping set up, not communicating and not delegating anything and basically having a tantrum over not being nominated when this thing starts in like??? 90 mins??? So I try to rally her ass but that’s a no go, so I start trying to help out and get things running and it’s not perfect but like I did my best with what I got yk? the event runs fine but I’m so overwhelmed with taking on this extra load that I say “I don’t feel well” to J (bestie) and then proceed to go out into the hallway and have my first ever panic attack which was half my fault for biting off more than I could chew but the fraternity was really important to me at the time so

Strike Two

Flash forward a year. I am now VMP of the frat. Which means I’m in charge of giving membership classes once a week for our members in training. I’m going to be in Oklahoma City during one of our scheduled classes to sing with the SWACDA Collegiate Honor Choir and I think “Hey, Cassie’s given this class before I can trust her to teach one class while I’m gone” WRONG

I’m off gallivanting in OKC and text her to remind her and check in and Cassie says she was a little late but she every thing was fine!

I get back to Kingsville and find out FROM MY LITTLE that she and another sister were at the class at the time Cassie was supposed to be teaching it. And Cassie didn’t show up until the last like five minutes so they had to run the class.

Strike Three

As stated above, I’m kind of an idiot. Sometimes bad things happen to me and they’re truthfully my fault because I have zero self preservation skills.

Anyway. Long story short a mutual friend of Cassie and I (who was also @jlmjlmjlm ‘s roommate at the time. I was staying over at their place pretty much all the time bc I was having issues with my roommates) named Kat snuck into my purse in the middle of the night and stole my card, put it in her Apple Pay, and used it to buy Christmas gifts for our squad, send her sister money, and pay rent. twice.

When my best friend and i found out, we told her apartment complex that this roommate had paid rent with stolen money so that we could get her evicted bc truthfully all I wanted was for that bitch to LEAVE the school. I couldn’t enjoy choir bc she was there and felt so sick because before this Kat was a very good friend of mine id known for years (also went to the same high school as Cassie and I)

Then to find out that when Kat WAS evicted, Cassie told her “That’s okay you can just stay with me.” Knowing full well what Kat had done. So that was kind of the last straw for our friendship. But generally she was also the kind of person to blame every single thing on her “mental health” when in reality… she was just sort of a shitty person. I don’t know what Cassie is up to now, but I do know that Kat failed out of college and went back to our home town so

Anyway that’s probably the person I hate the most from school thanks for coming to my ted talk

Honesty Hour!

[cmtcahrule]

No Words. Part 2.

For those who can't or won't watch.

26. After our wedding I had purchased all of these lanterns. I had this storage unit of all of these lanterns because they really went with the vibe. I had him and his friends drive them in a U-Haul to Texas which was really helpful until they got stopped at the border with weed and went to jail. So they helped when they could.

27. So when things really blew up for him, which I knew took some years, and you were in the spotlight at red carpets, and you were at big movie premiers, and more eyes were on you, how did that feel? Like you had the taste of fame from the hosting, but did you like being in that spotlight of Hollywood? It felt really weird. Like I should be asking questions. I felt like I still wanted to be the person asking questions. There’s always a fine line. You want to be a supportive wife. But you don’t want to lose your identity. Your husband’s career is going one direction but I have always found it tricky to be a supportive wife and maintain everything else that I want. How can I maintain my young, bitch self and be who I am?

28. I wondered how you felt when he was doing really well and you had to come along for the ride? Everything goes back to relationships. We were best friends. We went everywhere together. We didn’t have kids for 5 years. We were together on every set and every experience. I have so many of my friends from his movie sets like Social Network.

29. Where were you when your marriage was ending? Were you ready? I don’t think anyone is ready. I am such a family person. My family is everything. I would literally do anything to take any pain away from my kid. There is literally nothing I would not do.

30. I am a very Christmas card, basic bitch girl who believes family is more important than life or work. I would honestly do anything to keep my family together.

31. During COVID ahead of the divorce announcement: He was having struggles with his dad. He said mentally I am not OK. Like for me, if anyone said I am not OK, you don’t argue with that.

32. Long story short, he left. I saw some text messages that were not supposed to be sent to me.

33. You know what, we have worked so hard and come so far, you just don’t leave your family during a global pandemic. Especially with everything that we have been through.

34.Yes, family is important, but some people are OK with infidelity, but some people can move on, some people can turn a blind eye, but I fucking deserve the world and I am not the girl.

35. I think people make mistakes but I was never going to stay in a relationship where I was disrespected.

36. I remember screaming and crying and not understanding how and why that this could even be happening after we had so many plans. We wanted more kids. We wanted to be in this neighborhood.

37. It was the most horrible time of my life. I am strong. Yes, you are strong as fuck. From the sidelines, watching you…the way you handled it should be written about.

38. Did he try to fight for the marriage when you wanted to end it? He was not in a great place at the time. I won’t speak on his behalf in terms of treatment but all I wanted for him was for him to get help.

39. I drove him to the airport.

40. A good place to heal is where there is no paparazzi or tabloids. I honestly think that one more year might be our “safe zone” here. It is not like we are hiding but I just want to protect them until they can understand that we are both in really healthy places now.

41. I told my daughter I will buy half of your car if you wait until you are 16 to have a phone.

42. I don’t want to overstep but this came out in the media that Armie is paying $1,500 per month in child support and for some reason that became public. I have built a really successful company and I have 3 shows right now in production. I am so grateful for the success of my company and my team. I can sit here and literally spend however many dollars on another year of arguing back and forth with him about how much money and it is such a waste. I will provide for our kids. They are with me all the time.

43. We were in LA and we were staying at my friend’s house and together putting the kids to sleep and reading a book together. That is what kids want and that is what makes them happy. If that is the one thing I can give them I will. There is nothing I won’t do for them. They didn’t ask for any of this.

44. Are you still dating your hot boyfriend? Yes. He is amazing. He is from Lithuania. Born and raised in a small village. He is a physical therapist. I am in love and I love him.

45. So if you move to LA is he going to come? I don’t know. Everyone says the city will ruin him. He is very traditional. He is only 26.

46. The kids love him so much. He is so present and great with them. He is never on his phone.

47. Our family of four, including Armie, is really important to them. That is their identity now.

48. Regarding work: I am excited for the one on Discovery. It is basically a Dateline but with modern terms. Toxic relationships. I am manifesting 300 seasons of it.

49. We have also done a show on Hulu about opening the location here in Cayman which I am hosting and producing. A couple of other ones that just sold.

50. In the end, everything comes down to trauma. Maybe you are filling a void you did not have when you were younger. We are all products of our upbringing. And that really manifests itself in romantic relationships.

[thebatfamfanatic]

Six Times He Met Her

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, guy taking advantage of a minor in first chap, mention of underage smut in fourth chap, making out?, violence, mentions of blood/injury, main character death, adult language, angst

A/N: First thing I’ve written on Tumblr!! Tell me if anybody likes it, or if I broke your heart. And yes, I know I’m evil.

1-

The first time he saw you was around 2:30 in the morning. Jason was squatting on the edge of a rooftop in Gotham, surveying the dark scenery below him.

Somehow, there was still plenty of traffic on the dirty streets, plenty of cars honking and driving around. Jason always wondered who the fuck needed to be somewhere at 2 am.

He fiddled with a loose seam on the Robin uniform he sported each night, hunting down the assholes of Gotham (pretty much 70% of the city) and putting them in jail, where they belonged.

At 16, Jason Todd technically should have been in bed, maintaining a healthy sleep schedule and doing some rich kid shit during the day. Of course, his adoptive (long story) father, Bruce Wayne, richest playboy in Gotham, employed him to be his little tweety bird sidekick at night, so here he was, at the rendezvous watching the streets. yay. A scream came from an alley nearby. Jason stood, stretched his legs, and leaped down from the roof onto the ground. He pinpointed the alleyway where the noise was coming from and raced into it. A girl, about his age, had been cornered by some bitch dude who thought he could take advantage of this girl. Not on Robin’s watch.

Before the girl could scream again, the guy was on the ground and Jason was helping her up. She shakily took the hand he offered her and looked him in the eye. Shit, she had gorgeous eyes. Jason froze for a second, lost in her beauty, before clearing in his throat.

“Hi. I’m Robin, uh, you probably knew that. Are you okay, ma’am?”

He hated the squeak that came out of his mouth. He sounded like a fucking 5 year old. The girl raised her eyebrow. She had recovered rather quickly. “You don’t have to call me ma’am. I’m not some rich-ass royal whatever from Britain.” Jason liked this one. Sassy, but just so. He inquired where she lived, and she gave him the address. With his grappling hook at the ready, Jason pulled her closer to him. She jumped at the sudden closeness, but seemed to enjoy it. Maybe? He didn’t know shit about girls.

Jason shot the hook, propelling them up in the air, and landed on a rooftop. They continued this routine until he got in front of her house. It was still several seconds before he released her waist.

She started to walk towards her door, before stopping.

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Sorry, what?” Jason blinked.

“I thought you were smart, Robin. Its my name, dumb ass.”

Then Y/N disappeared into her house. Jason stood there foolishly outside on her front lawn for a while, thinking about the girl he had just met. She was unlike anyone he had ever met, and he realized 10 minutes later that he had forgotten to ask about where her family was and everything.

Oh well. Bruce would be expecting him anyways. Jason shot his grappling hook and started home, still dazed from the encounter.

2-

The second time you guys met was two weeks later. Jason was just Jason Todd, a normal 10th grader living in the shadow of his (adopted) older brother Dick Grayson. Nobody paid much attention to him, and he didn’t really mind. Mostly Jason focused on getting A’s in class and then retreating into the library until Golden Boy’s after school clubs were over.

That is, until you walked in. It sounded as if you had just moved here, and for a minute, Jason felt a little sorry for you. I mean, Gotham wasn’t the greatest place to spend high school, or any grade, in his opinion.

You looked at your schedule from across the hall and then up at the locker next to him. For a second, your eyes met his and Jason was content. Lost in those brilliant colors. And then you looked away and started walking towards him. He realized just in time maybe he should stop leaning over your locker as you stopped next to him.

“Hi. Y/N. Just moved here. Looks like we’re locker neighbors.”

Jason was about to reply with “I know” but restrained himself. “Jason. Nice to meet you. Congrats on moving to this shitshow.”

He managed to not grin like an idiot as you laughed. The sound was music to his ears, like beautiful bells. God, he was being sappy.

“It’s not much of a shitshow when you’re here.” Ooh, she flirts too. Jason smirked as you opened your locker and dumped your stuff inside, pulling out the things you needed for your first class.

The first bell shrieked just as you closed your locker. “See you around, Jason.”

The small smile you gave him made his day, and he almost forgot to get to class. Yes, you were certainly one of a kind, and yes, Jason wanted you. The question was how to get to that point.

3-

You guys had a couple classes together, and frequently sat at the same table during lunch, so it wasn’t long before you were quick friends with Jason. However, the next notable time you met was a little while after he got your number.

Jason was laying on his bed, scrolling mindlessly through Tumblr as he thought about ways to ask you out.

Y/N, would you grant me the honor of going out with me? No, too Romeo and Juliet.

Hey, want to grab ice cream? He had to make it clear what his intentions were. Then it wouldn’t be weird if he kissed you, right?

Oh, god, if he fucking kissed you….what would that be like? Before Jason could start fantasizing, his fingers were flying across the keyboard and he had sent a text to you. What did he do, what did he-

Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to see that new movie this weekend. It seems like something you would enjoy.

Hm. That was actually pretty good. Where did he come up with that?

Jason had just started inspecting his fingers for some kind of sign of being possessed by smooth-with-girls-syndrome when you responded. He looked up and read it quickly.

Sure, I’d love that! Thanks for thinking of me ❤️

A heart. You had put a heart at the end of it. Did that mean you knew it was a date?

Jason sighed. He certainly hoped so.

4-

The weekend date went good. By the end of it, Jason was sure you knew it was a date. The second one passed, and then the third. The third one was when you hesitantly pecked him on the cheek. The fourth was when he kissed you actually. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was just enough for him to take you on a fourth date. An actual “will you go out with me on a date” kind of thing.

He took you to a restaurant in the fancy part of things. You two ate food that two broke 16 year olds technically shouldn’t have been able to afford, but Bruce helped Jason out.

Jason drove you home afterwards and discussed the topic of the upcoming summer during the car ride. What you were doing, where he was going. The entire time, Jason had butterflies in his stomach. He wasn’t sure how to act. Was he messing it all up, or were you actually into him?

Once he parked in front of your house and walked you up to the stoop, you looked at him. He noticed you were biting your lip nervously, and god, why did he think that was so hot? “My parents aren’t home.” It was the softest Jason had ever heard you speak, but he knew what you meant. He smiled gently, and kissed you again. This one was destined to last longer, and before either of you realized it, you had opened your door and you were leading him to your bedroom.

That night was one neither of you would forget, and by the end of it, Jason had officially asked out successfully.

5-

You and Jason spent a lot of time together after that. You met his older brother, Dick (who was very happy for Jason, too happy in his opinion) and his dad, Bruce Wayne. Bruce was cool, but very busy all the time.

By two months, Jason still hadn’t told you his identity as Robin, and he was running out of excuses. One day, you confronted him, assuming he was cheating on you. He tried everything, but he had to go out on patrol.

Jason left that night assuming you were broken up. The entire patrol, he wasn’t himself. Truth was, he loved you so much he was afraid of losing you. That had become his greatest fear. It was that night everything went wrong.

6-

You were out taking a late night walk. Down by the pier, a cold wind was blowing, and as you walked past warehouse after warehouse, you pulled your coat tighter.

You were affected as well, and confused about where you and your boyfriend stood. Did you guys just breakup? Did he love you? Did–

A scream echoed from one of the warehouses. You turned, afraid of stepping closer but afraid of leaving the person. Eventually, your curiosity won over and you climbed up several crates to peer into the window.

What you saw inside almost made you scream yourself. Robin, the hero everybody talked about, lay defenseless and bloody on the ground as a tall man-the Joker- whacked him over and over again with a crowbar.

You gasped, wanting to help, but you knew that would be foolish. You would just get in the way for a minute. Tears started to form in your eyes as Robin weakly cried out from the pain. He looked so…helpless.

Joker relentlessly beat him with the crowbar, and Robin’s mask began to come off. You rubbed the tears from your eyes just as the mask fell to the ground.

“No.” was the only thing that you could muster. Jason lay on the ground in the bloody Robin suit. Jason fucking Todd. There was your boyfriend, being beaten to death by the asshole of all assholes. That was why he kept disappearing at night, because he fucking protected the city!

You were mad at yourself for being so cruel to Jason without knowing what was really going on. You barely paid attention as Batman and Nightwing suddenly burst through the windows.

Joker laughed, and said something you couldn’t hear from the outside. Probably taunting Batman as he watched his apprentice get beat to death.

A fight broke out, Batman lunging at Joker as Nightwing rushed to Jason, laying broken on the ground. You had just enough time to duck as a Batarang came swooping out of the hands of the Caped Crusader and straight through the window you were looking through.

It was then you realized how close Jason was to death, and what you needed to do. The window pricked your jacket as you jumped through it, but you didn’t care. Gymnastics back in 6th grade helped when you landed awkwardly. Nightwing spun around, and it wasn’t hard to figure out that was Dick, which meant Bruce was Batman.

However, none of that mattered when Jason was half dead in front of you. Nightwing- Dick- made no effort to stop you as you knelt in front of Jason. “No, no, no.” You cradled his head in your hands, trying hard not to recognize how limp his body was, and how his chest barely moved as he struggled to breathe.

Jason’s eyes were closed, tears running down his face silently. You were crying as well, mumbling curses and things that made no sense.

“Please, don’t be dead. Please, I-I love you.”

You watched Jason make no acknowledgement he could hear you, watched him breathe once more. His chest rose and never fell.

You screamed and buried your head in his costume, not caring about getting blood on your face. Dick pulled you away wordlessly, out of the warehouse. You barely registered that the warehouse exploded behind you a few seconds later.

Dick let you sob into his shoulder for what seemed like hours. Him and Bruce exchanged a short conversation, both riddled with grief.

Six times you and Jason had met, and that was the last.

[marvelobsessedteenager]

All The Hurt - Chapter 2

Pairing: Peter Parker x fem!reader

Warnings: ANGST, Peter was an ass, reader is a hurt and petty bitch, fluff to make up for the angst, curse words, lots of “coincidences”

Word Count: 4.1k

A/n: The amount of love I've gotten is absolutely incredible. Thank you guys for the support! Enjoy :3 -----------------------------------------

Flash had suggested driving both him and yourself to Liz’s house, and you agreed, simply because car rides with him were more fun. You got there earlier than anyone else, giving Flash time to set up his DJ equipment and speakers while you helped Liz and Betty set up the lights, food, and drinks.

Not an hour later and the house was full of people that you knew and didn’t know, but welcomed anyway. Everybody walking around was having a good time, drinking soda out of a red solo cup and dancing to Flash’s party music. You would be lying if you told yourself your eyes weren’t examining the dance floor for a particular bed of curls.

In your mind, you knew there was no way Peter knew Spider-Man. You saw it in the way he told everyone he did today at the gym. His left hand was wildly shaking — a clear telltale of nerves you’d figured out long ago.

Something else was bothering you, though, even if you didn’t want to admit it.

That bruise. You knew for a fact Peter wasn’t a fighter, mainly when it came to bullies - words or actions. He never retaliated, which is why people considered him an easy target. You wouldn’t put it past him to allow himself to get beaten up, but you would have known if that’d happened. Flash was definitely his number one bully, but he wouldn’t dare lay a finger on Peter, and neither would any of his friends, especially since they all knew your history with Peter.

They were all bark and no bite, which meant that there was another explanation for it, but for the love of God, you couldn’t figure out what it was.

And speak of the devil.

You smirked as you caught sight of him, worried thoughts vanishing as you weaved your way through the crowd to Flash, whispering in his ear about your discovery. He flashed you a wicked smile, turned down the music, and grabbed the mic.

“Penis Parker! What’s up?” Flash yelled into the mic, causing Peter to freeze and turn to look at Flash, who was pointing right at him.

“Hey, Y/n,” Flash pretended to search the crowd then turned to you, “Where do you think his pal Spider-Man is?” He placed the mic below your lips and waited for your preplanned answer.

“Hm, let me a guess.” You sweetly said, tapping your chin like you were thinking, “in Canada with his imaginary girlfriend?” You raised your eyebrows, eyes boring into Peter’s with fire burning behind your pupils, your brain ignoring your heart that was begging you to stop upsetting him as you caught the flash of hurt that crossed his features.

The crowd laughed and “ooh” ed as Flash played a “burn” sound effect, “That’s not Spider-Man,” He jutted his chin towards Ned, “that’s just Ned in a red shirt.”

You watched him walk away from the giggling crowd, fuming, and you bumped your fist with Flash's in victory. He turned up the music, and you made your way to the dance floor with your friends, as you swayed your hips to the loud tune. Your group sang loudly to the songs, and though it was deafening and off-tune, you never felt freer than when you screamed the lyrics with them.

At some point, your voice started sounding raspy, and your throat was begging you for some sort of liquid to heal the ache. You excused yourself from the group, walked to the kitchen and grabbed a solo cup, filling it with cool water and chugging it down.

But, of fucking course, someone had to ruin your night and your favorite white dress by bumping into you and spilling coke on your outfit. That someone was a girl with piercing blue eyes and brown hair — someone you didn't recognize. It was clear she didn’t go to Midtown considering she squeaked an apology and ran to her friends, who glanced back at you and immediately dashed out of the house.

Great.

You would ask Liz for another dress, but you weren’t exactly tight with her. You’d also ask your friends to take you home to change, but as you looked at them jumping around and bobbing their heads to the music, you figured they were having too much fun, and you didn’t want to ruin it.

You would normally call your driver, but you hadn’t had the chance to set up your new phone just yet.

Sighing, you grabbed your denim jacket you hid below the counter earlier, put it on, and began your journey home on foot. Your house was located about thirty minutes away from Liz’s, which wasn’t really a big deal for you.

About fifteen minutes of strolling in silence and kicking any rock that caught your eye, you passed by a playground that looked familiar. It was the very same playground you and Peter would play in when you were children. You’d take turns pushing each other on the swing, and when you were old enough to do it yourself, you would both compete to see who’d go higher and who could jump off the swing the farthest. It always resulted in an injury, but you two always laughed it off, especially when Jane would run over worriedly with a first-aid kit.

As you went into your early teenage years, you’d meet at the playground alone and climb to the top of the dome climber with different (and disgusting) flavored milkshakes, exchanging it with each other every now and again, and watch the river flow peacefully.

The same river in which Iron-Man is flying out of with Spider-Man in his arms.

Wait, what?

You snapped out of your reverie and did a double take before you quickly dove into one of the many bushes, the quick rate of your heartbeat becoming a distraction from the fresh cut on your exposed neck from the sharp branches.

You could see everything that was happening in front of you, but not necessarily hear everything. Your wide eyes curiously peeked over the bushes, watching as Iron-Man placed Spider-Man on the dome. And maybe it was your hearing, but you swore you knew the high pitched voice that was exaggeratedly saying something.

You saw Spider-Man tug his mask off and wring it out, which made the back of his head incredibly visible. Brown hair. Or maybe black. It was too dark to see the difference. You debated moving a little closer to hear the conversation.

Deep down, you knew it wasn’t right. Spider-Man was entitled to protect his identity. But you could keep a secret. Besides, maybe this could be the moment you’d thank him for saving you. You doubted he’d remember what he did, but you’d never forget.

So, you crept a little closer to make out the words, despite your gut telling you you shouldn’t.

“What were you thinking?” Iron-Man asked in a way that made you believe Spider-Man was in trouble.

“The guy with the wings is obviously the source of the weapons, I gotta take him down!”

Wait. That sounds like-

“Take him down now, huh? Steady, Crockett, there are people who handle this sort of thing.” Iron-Man said, waving his arm around.

“The Avengers?”

“No, no, no, just a little below their…pay grade.”

“Anyway, Mr. Stark, you didn’t have to come all the way out here, I-I had that. I was fine.”

But that was all you could hear. Because as the conversation went on, the gears in your head begun turning, the dots seemed to connect faster than you could comprehend.

The strange bruise on his jaw after it was shown on the news that a certain superhero fought robbers at the bank across Delmar’s. Him running out of school once it was over. The fact that he left school for two weeks and mysteriously came back. Him ‘allegedly’ saying your name when he saved you. All the times he ditched you in the past were the same times Spider-Man was on the news for a heroic saving. You remembered because you’d send the news to Peter. The “Stark Internship” excuse wasn’t real.

But this was.

Peter Parker is Spider-Man.

Peter Parker saved your life.

The amount of information was loud. So, so, loud. You couldn’t hear the bickering that went on. A rush of emotions went through you. The first was rage. Is this it? Is this is his reason for letting you go? He couldn’t have just been honest and told you? You bet he told Ned. But he couldn’t tell you, could he?

But just as quickly as it came, your anger left you, instead being replaced with worry. You hated to admit it, but you were worried about him. How could he go out there every day and put his life on the line like that? What about his wounds and injuries? Did he suffer through those alone? Or did May help him heal?

Does May even know? Does anybody know?

Lastly, panic, and that was the strongest of them all. Holy shit, you thought, I just found out that my ex best friend and former crush is a superhero. He shoots webs out of his hands or something and sticks to walls and saves strangers and fights criminals and-

And Iron-Man is flying away.

And Spider-Man is walking in your direction.

I need to go.

As soon as you turned around, still crouched but ready to fucking bolt, you accidentally stepped on something hard, and you had to bite your tongue to keep your hissing inside. Once the pain slightly subsided, you looked downwards and moved your head closer to the object. A loud purring sound was emitting from it, and if there was anything in this world that screamed danger, it was this.

You were careful to pick it up and examine it. In the middle of this..machine was a bright purple stone and it was fucking glowing. You looked around you and caught Spider-Man muttering something to himself right before an obnoxious ringing made its way into your ears, prompting you to cringe and put your hands over them as you crouched.

It’s the same annoying fucking ringtone as Peter’s.

You waited for him to move a little farther, and when he did, you peeked from behind the bush. He had just closed the phone and continued his walk. You didn’t know if this thing was a bomb or something explosive, so throwing it in his direction was already ruled out. Besides, he was already beyond throw distance. You knew the safest way to get it to him.

You knew what to do. You hated that you did, but you had to do it.

Maybe hearing him talk to you would confirm or deny your hypothesis. Anybody could have brown hair, a high-pitched voice and the same ringtone as your ex-best friend and be a superhero that saved you two weeks ago.

You took a deep breath to calm your hammering heart from ripping through your ribcage and escaping. “I hate my life,” you mumbled as you rose and followed him with your heart still beating out of your chest, almost sure it was louder than your barely audible footsteps.

Don’t trip, don’t trip.

When you got close to him, close enough to tap him on the shoulder, he quickly turned around and got into a fighting position with his fists ready to punch. You were so shocked that you dropped the object and backed away with your hands up, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy. ”

Upon seeing a citizen (that he knew too well) he dropped his stance, “S-uh..sorry. I-I thought you..uh..” He cleared his throat, “Sorry, ma’am. How can I help you?” He said, very clearly thickening his voice and awkwardly placing his hands on his hips.

But you knew that sound anywhere.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. It is him.

You attempted to swallow the lump in your throat as you felt it clogging your ability to breathe.

“Uh, hi. I’m Y/n.” You mentally smacked yourself. He already knows you, dumbass.

Should you tell him he knows you, though? Should you tell him you know him? No, what? You vehemently shook your head.

“A-anyway I, um, found this-” You picked up the object and turned it around in your hands, “-on my way home and I think it’ll help you? I don’t know, it’s definitely not man-made, I suppose. I’m not exactly an expert but I thought you’d be and you just so happened to be in my neighborhood and I am, too, and this thing is glowing and-”

His spider..eye..thingies were as wide as saucers, and it was only now that you noticed you were rambling. Your cheeks flushed, and you immediately cursed at your body for betraying you.

This is worse than tripping.

“Sorry,” you looked down at your shoes, "I babble when I’m-“ Nope. Not letting him know you’re nervous. Not that he doesn’t already know. You found yourself regretting telling him all your triggers and quirks in the past, because right now, you couldn’t tell whether he could figure you out or not.

He probably could, though.

This night just kept getting worse. Pack it up already.

You cleared your throat and straightened your shoulders in the most confident way you could, “Here,” you outstretched your arm to him, waiting for him to grab the foreign object, but all he did was stare, and stare, and stare. You didn't really know where to look, and you didn't know if he was gazing at you or not, but before you could say anything, he snapped out of whatever he was in and took a hold of the object. You tried not to think about his masked fingers that grazed yours.

“Thanks, uh, Y/n.”  He said, not as intrigued by the object as you thought he’d be. Instead, he seemed to be looking at you. Or behind you. You still couldn't tell. You were too caught up in the way he said your name. It felt strangely familiar, and comforted you for a moment. It made you feel safe and wanted. Loved.

Before the memories reminded you of what he’d done.

“Sure,” you nodded, slowly backing away, “um, see you...around.”

“Yeah.”

As you turned on your heel to continue your trip home, he pipped up, “Oh, um, would- do you want me to walk you home? It’s really dark out here.”

You entertained the thought in your head for a second. "What could possibly happen if he walked you home, besides guaranteeing you safety?” Your heart spoke.

"Oh, I don’t know, you could accidentally blurt out that you know him, and then things will get even more awkward than they already are.” Your brain fought back, stubborn as ever.

Yeah, you’re definitely just going to pass up his offer.

“I’m, uh, I’m good. Need a little time to myself.” You nervously chuckled, wrapping your arms around yourself, “Thanks, though, I appreciate it.”

“Yeah.” He repeated, shifting his weight from one foot to another as he watched you walk away from him.

Like he’d done to you.

The rest of the fifteen minutes passed by faster than you anticipated, but maybe it was because you were too preoccupied considering you just confirmed your ex-best friend was a fucking superhero with fucking superpowers. As the confirmation made its way into your brain, you noticed that the signs were right beneath your nose, but you weren’t observant enough to figure it out. They started before he left you.

How did it start to begin with? Has he always had these powers?

Wait, no. Because Spider-Man wasn’t always around. And even if he really did have them for a long time, why leave you now? It must’ve been recent, you concluded.

But how? How does one go from an ordinary, lanky teenager to a robust superhero who can stop a speeding bus with his bare hands?

As one question was answered, another one took its place. The list just kept going and going, without a clear sign of it stopping.

In all honesty, you thought the videos that popped up on your YouTube recommended page of a web-slinging human were staged. In your defense, he seemed quite small to be a hero, and it wouldn’t be the first time some kid tried to fool the world with “a new superhero". You remember sending it to Peter and asking him if he thought it was real.

He never answered.

You hadn’t realized you were standing on your porch, staring at the overly large mahogany door in front of you. You sighed and took out your keys, placing them in the lock and twisting it.

You were lucky today was the beginning of the weekend. You wouldn’t be able to face him after seeing what you just saw. You didn’t know how to feel. You didn’t know what to do. Should you let him know that you know?

Should you let anyone know that you know?

That was the worst part about this whole thing. You had no one to turn to. No one to talk to about this, and there definitely wouldn’t be a wikiHow page on how to deal with something like this.

So, you ruled it out. One of the choices was obviously keeping the secret to yourself and not telling Peter you knew his identity. It would keep things from getting too awkward to handle and would keep him safe.

The other choice, the really horrible one, was to let everyone know. A part of you was still mad at what he’d done. You mean, he didn’t even try to apologize as he should’ve. That evil part of you, the hurt part, wanted revenge — wanted you to ruin Peter like he did you.

You knew people would believe you if you told them. You knew they’d find their ways to figure out if it’s true or not. But for some reason, you were hesitant. Yes, Peter ruined your life. Yes, Peter broke you in ways you believed were beyond mendable.

But Peter was also the boy who gave you his last Iron-Man bandaid when you scraped your elbow the first time you met. He’s the boy who pushed your bully and got punched in the face for it when you were ten. He’s the boy who saved your life the other day - the boy who saves dozens of strangers every week.

It was clear which option was better.

Keeping his secret didn’t mean you forgave him, though.

After everything, you didn’t know if you allowed yourself to forgive him. Part of you wanted you to, pleaded you to for the sake of moving on, but the more stubborn part of you remembered the pain you went through; the nights you spent crying yourself to sleep, the newfound insecurities of not being enough for anybody, the fear that others will leave you behind like he did.

Hell, you had a locked note in your notes app that contained a long speech about how you felt — about how he made you feel. The one you were to send him — but ended up deleting.

You groaned and rubbed your head, feeling an oncoming headache from the questions. You stayed in your house that weekend, trapped with a racing mind and no answers to slow it down.

------------------------------------------------------

You started noticing Peter act differently towards you when your freshman year of high school was close to ending. It started off with him rescheduling long-awaited plans and then showing up late, but you didn’t mind. He had told you he scored an internship at Stark Industries, and you swore you’d never felt prouder in your entire life.

He informed you that he could be called in at any given moment, which was his reason for leaving in the middle of your hangouts. You understood, and so, you encouraged him to do so.

But then, as time went by, you noticed a change. Instead of postponing the plans, he’d cancel them all together and wouldn’t make up for them. And sometimes, in the rare occasion in which he did postpone them, he’d stand you up, keeping you awake until you were on the brink of sleep.

He apologized multiple times for doing so, blaming it on the time the internship took for him, and you let it go, even when it became a pattern to leave you stranded.

You were okay with it.

Until it became too much.

During lunch, you could never find him, which ended up with you eating alone. During the only class you shared with him, he’d zone out while you were talking and completely ignore you. You’d normally come out of your last period ready to see him standing by your locker to begin your journey home, but he stopped being there, and you would walk home alone.

Texts and calls went unnoticed, and you felt the barrier he had placed between the two of you grow higher and higher as the time passed by.

What bothered you is that it was just with you. He acted completely normal around Ned. You often saw them chatting and laughing while you watched from afar, heart breaking into two as you wondered where you went wrong. You inspected every text message you sent and every conversation you had, often staying up late re-reading it until you reached the top. You just didn’t understand what happened.

One day, you approached him after school, running after him as he bolted through the school’s gates into the outside.

“Hey!” You called as you caught up to him and grabbed his arm, which flexed beneath your grip. You sighed and slightly loosened your grasp, “Can, um, can we talk?”

Peter visibly gulped, hesitantly nodding as his eyes bounced around your figure, never looking at you.

“Peter.” You ran a hand through your hair, carefully choosing your next words as to approach this topic cautiously, “What’s going on with you? You..you’ve been acting weird and distant. D-did do something?”

“I’m not acting weird,” Peter said, almost offendedly, quick to defend himself.

“Peter we haven’t hung out in weeks because you’ve been canceling them.” You retaliated.

“I told you, I-it’s the internship.”

You frowned, heart clenching at the tiredness that seeped into his voice, “I know.” You gave him a small smile, hoping for one in return, “I’m your best friend. I’m always here for you, you know.”

“I-“ He sharply inhaled, scratching the back of his head with his shaking left hand. “I don’t want you to be.”

Your smile instantly dropped, feeling a painful nudge in your stomach, “What?”

“I don’t..this isn’t working, Y/n. We can’t be friends anymore. I’m done.” He said. And so easily, too.

I’m done, he’d said.

Your heart stopped for a moment, taken aback by his bluntness and the harshness that came with his words, “What? Why? N-no.” You denied, "You’re just gonna leave? You can’t do that, I..What did I do?”

“Nothing. It’s just..it’s just better this way.” Peter visibly gulped, looking around the streets like he wasn’t standing there, breaking your fragile heart into pieces while you were trying your hardest to not fall apart right in front of him.

Dignity was still a thing. But so was your friendship.

“I can’t fix this if you won’t let me, Pete.” You pleaded, hoping he’d admit that something was wrong - that it wasn’t you that he was pushing away, that there was a reason for him doing so. You could fix this. You could.

“There’s nothing to fix. I don’t want to be friends, that’s it.” He shrugged, shuffling backward, getting ready to make a run from it.

“No,” you stopped him, grabbing his hand softly, despite the tears that already ran down your face, “There has to be a reason! Y-you can’t just leave like that! Give me a reason! WHAT DID I DO?!”

When he didn’t respond, you gave his loose hand a squeeze and wiped your tears with your sleeve, already feeling stupid for the amount of vulnerability you were displaying, especially when you weren’t getting any sort of reaction out of him besides coldness.

“Peter. Peter, please, just l-let me fix this.” You said, voice cracking, "You’re all I have left. Please don’t do this.”

You were begging. You knew you were, but you couldn’t let him leave without putting up a fight. You were a step away from begging on your knees, but you didn’t. You were able to stop yourself from doing so, but you still believed you could get through whatever this is - you were so sure of it.

But you never did.

And you swore he had ripped your heart from your chest, stepped on it, and nonchalantly walked away, leaving you to deal with the pain of the heartbreak on the sidewalk.

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[house-of-cakes]

Jamais Vu

Masterlist || Series Masterlist

Prev || Next

Chapter 14: Consider it Done 😇

Jungkook x Reader: enemy to lovers AU

Word count: 1505

Warnings: Swearing and Jungkook is the official president of the “I hate Y/N” Club 

Premise: “There’s an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It’s when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger… Nothing is ever familiar” – Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

AKA Jungkook goes in search of the girl who got him expelled.

Author’s note: There’s a slight error in the dates for this chapter. All of the dates should read for the month of February and not January. I think my social media app had a meltdown and I realised too late 😅. 

If you would like to give feedback or be tagged in this story please send me an ask/message 😊

Tagged list: @inspinkyring​ @betysotelo18​ @kardia-apo-marmelada​ @casspirit0705​ @preciouschimine​ @therealsugababe​  @lucedelsole97​ @deolly​ @lexy9716​​  @thesweetest-peas​ 

STORY CONTINUED BELOW THE CUT

Y/N climbed the stairs to the balcony and scanned the area for her intended target. She smirked to herself when she found the ash-blonde bombshell sitting by herself and made her way over to her.

She plopped herself beside the girl and let out an overexaggerated sigh of relief. She leaned her arm on the back of the couch and rested her face in her palm. Y/N positioned herself so that her body was turned towards the girl and waited for her to look up from her phone to notice her presence.

The girl grunted in annoyance at the disturbance and looked up from her phone, ready to tell off the stranger who had interrupted her peace.  The girl swallowed the dry lump that had formed in her throat once she realised who was sitting next to her.

She was in deep shit and she knew it.

It was common knowledge that Y/N never socialised outside of her friendship group and when she did it was never for a good reason.

“Hey! How’s your night going?” YN’s voice and smile was so sugary sweet which was a totally contradicted the dark and piercing look in her eyes. “You must be having a great time, I’ve been seeing you up top a lot lately.”

“U-u-h yeah.” She stammered as she racked her braining trying to recall what she had done wrong to get on Y/N’s bad side like this.

“I bet you thought you’d be able to come in here, bat those cute little doe eyes a few more times and soon enough you’d be securing a permanent spot on the balcony, right?” The girl sat up straighter and shook her head trying to deny the accusations.

“No tha-”

Y/N cut her off before she could explain

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame you for using your looks… I of all people know how far a pretty face gets you in a place like this” Y/N’s hand reached out to play with the ends of her short hair that perfectly framed her face. “But don’t think for a second your beauty act is convincing anyone that you’re anything more than a filthy thief.

“Is this because I like Tae?” the panic evident on the girls face “I promise I will leave him alone.”

YN realised why the blonde had chosen to sit where she did. From her spot she had a perfect line of sight of Taehyung where he sat with her friends and the rest of her brother’s crew.  

“Nah, that’s not it. Although it did piss me off to hear that you were harassing Sunnie again the other day for his number” Y/N shrugged it off nonchalantly even if she was filled with excitement, she was literally working a job that took care of a criminal and a thirsty-ass social climber.  “No that’s definitely not the reason why I’m coming after you…it sure does sweeten the deal though”

The girl started to sob, the jig was up. If Y/N exposed her for what she was she would be ruined.

If Y/N was aware about her sticky fingers she definitely knew about her other criminal activities. The girl knew that Y/N had her ways for digging up dirt on people and she was not afraid to expose them if it meant protecting her friends.  

She once heard a rumour that an older guy was bullying Jimin. When Y/N demanded he stay away from her friend he laughed in her face and said she wouldn’t dare touch him as he was the son of the local police chief. When the guy refused to listen to her warning, she got the guy expelled then exposed his father for his corrupt ways and got him fired.

“People are going to assume I’m exiling you because your one of Tae’s groupies and by all means feel free to continue that narrative...You’ll get to protect your innocent persona and people will continue to see how far I will go for my best friends.”

“You’re a crazy bitch! You know that right?!” she cried out

“Yes, I do and the more people who know that the better.” Y/N needed people to believe this take down was motivated by her dislike for groupies and not for the actual reason. She was very diligent in keeping the Magic Shop’s identity concealed and didn’t want her role as the Shop Keeper to be apparent.

“You can’t banish me!”

“Ahh you see, that’s where you’re wrong...I keep management very happy by keeping the Basement a trash free zone and they thank me by letting me do whatever the fuck I want.”

Y/N snapped her fingers in the air and pointed down to the girl next to her and immediately a security guard rushed over to throw the girl out.

“Thank you, Bounce.” Y/N offered her favourite bouncer a playful smile as she waved condescendingly to the disgraced girl.

From his spot next to Jin, Jungkook’s mouth fell open in shocked as he witnessed Y/N having an innocent girl thrown out. He thought whole scene was a disgusting display of an abuse of power.

“What the hell was that?!” Jungkook leaned over to whisper in Jin’s ear. He was very aware of the crowd he was sitting with and didn’t want to her brother or friends to overhear him.

“What was what?” Jin tore himself from the conversation he was having with Yoongi to answer him. Both of them turned their attention to him and waited for him to explain what he was going on about. When Jungkook didn’t answer immediately, Yoongi got the hint that the conversation was intended to be shared between the two cousins and turned to initiate conversation with Namjoon. Jungkook paused a moment longer, insuring the conversation was completely private before nodding his head in Y/N’s direction.

“Y/N just pointed at a girl and a bouncer came out of now where and threw her out!”

“Oh, that?” He replied nonchalantly, he hardly believed the question was so important that he needed to stop his conversation he was having with Yoongi. “You just saw your first Y/N take down.”

Jungkook’s face twisted in disgust at his cousin’s total lack of concern.

“How are you ok with that?!”

Jin shrugged in response.

“It’s not like she does it all the time or without reason. The people she kicks out are normally girls harassing Tae or Sunnie. She’s very protective and that’s what actually makes her a really good friend.”

Jungkook hated how quick Jin was to always defend this girl. From the moment she got him kicked out of the Basement to the time she kicked his ass at Reload, he saw no redeeming qualities in her. He thought the way she carried herself was rude and arrogant and the more he thought about how people let her get away with being a spoilt brat the more he grew irritated.

“Uh…what about the time she got me kicked out? What did I do to her then?!”

“I hate to break it to you kid but from what you told me…you bumped into her and Bounce kicked you out…she never asked him to do that”

“Everyone kisses the ground she walks on. She’s such a spoilt princess!”  Jin’s face hardened at the hostility in Jungkook’s voice. He noticed the ever-increasing negativity towards Y/N and it was begging to wear his patience thin.

Jin was aware that Jungkook was very popular at his old school and he believed that through his former popularity he had grown accustomed to the arrogance that came with being a part of the highest social standing.

Things worked differently here and although the scene was growing quite fond of him, there was a lot Jungkook needed to learn.

It was easy to misunderstand Y/N. It was even easier to believe this imagine that Basement portrayed of her. From the years that he had been Namjoon’s best friend he had come to see past the preconceptions that followed Y/N along.

Y/N didn’t need to be protected by anyone, much less Jin but he helped Jungkook get into the Basement and he, himself would gladly get his cousin kicked out if that’s what is needed for him to be humbled.

“Cut it out, Jungkook.” Jin’s voice was stern. It was very rare for Jungkook to see Jin call him by his name. The way he spoke to him was much like a parent scolding a child throwing a tantrum.

“But Hyung -” He went to continued however the sentence was lost when the group erupted in cheers as Y/N made her way to the group.

“Hey fam!” she greeted everyone then plopped herself into Taehyung lap. Jungkook watched as she threw her arm around his neck and beckoned her friends closer to her. She whispered to the group and when they pulled back their faces were plastered with smiles. 

Jungkook shook his head in disapproval. 

Everyone else may be able to be fooled by her pretty face but he would not.

[phoenixyfriend]

The MILFnevka AU

Once again something that was brainstormed en masse on the GG fanworks server.

I was... very much spearheading this one, but I dragged in @professorsparklepants for a lot, because Anevka, as well as input from @fenerismoon, @purronronner, @gelpenss​, and @whirlibird. The original conversation took place mid-September of 2019.

AU where Tarvek's side of the family squeezed in an extra generation or so.

Aaronev was still Lu's generation, but he had Anevka young, and she was an only child who was already an adult by the time Lu disappeared. As a result, Aaronev let her married before she ended up in the machine (because he wasn’t desperate yet), and he couldn't risk drawing the attention by the time Agatha’s gen is being born.

So instead of being Tarvek's SISTER, she's his MOM.

Anevka formed her own faction, separate from the Aaronev and vaguely aligned with Terabithia’s.

She insisted Martellus and his branch hang out with Tarvek because being an only child is lonely, and also it keeps Tarvek out of his grandfather's sights and vague plans of body-hopping.

She is a Protective Momma who is a little TOO down with murdering anyone who threatens her child.

Agatha: you're just going to listen to your evil mom? Because no offense but that's worked out really bad for me so far. Tarvek: She's not EVIL, just... Valois... anyway the Baron knows what she's like and mostly he just rolls his eyes and tries to keep her away from Queen DuPree.

Anevka is definitely the mom that uses her position as mother of the king/heir to stockpile as much power as possible and control everything behind the scenes. Tarvek is currently trying to undermine this and wrestle back control as secretly as possible.

Wine mom with eighty hidden stabbing implements.

When Agatha is discovered, Anevka still kills her dad, but it's not like she can steal Agatha's voice in this AU, so she just settles for aggressively matchmaking her with Tarvek.

Anevka's managed to rein her dad in, mostly, because she's a powerful spark with an Undefined Husband who nonetheless has enough good connections to cause a ruckus if he finds out about the Summoning Throne, and he's too sparky to wasp.

This did lead to his early death and no siblings for Tarvek, but not before Anevka managed to fight her dad down to ONLY trying to throne the girls who were legitimately likely to be Agatha.

And then Agatha's in Sturmhalten and Anevka's just like. Well. Time for plan A. And kills her dad.

Regarding Gil...  She kinda wants to pat him on the head and tell him to try harder.

I'm not wholly convinced Tarvek got kicked off of Castle Wulfenbach, depending on how Anevka married and decided to approach things. She might have warned Tarvek to AVOID stealing information, even, if she was worried about Aaronev trying to do something.

Less "do whatever you can to help us gain power" and more "do whatever you can to stay out of Sturmhalten."

Tarvek: My mom is a bitch and I love her so much

Klaus hates it when Anevka comes to CW because she acts like some unholy cross between Lucrezia, Terabithia, and Zantabraxus and she keeps hitting on his top enforcers but with knives and pretty dresses.

Unstoppable Divorce energies

Anevka: Do you like my new dress? Klaus: Your bodice is far too low cut, please stop visiting me dressed like my ex. I'm the same age as your father. Anevka: I know, it's really fun to watch you suffer as you fail to resist the urge to tell me to put on a sweater.

Tarvek: MOTHER YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME IN FRONT OF ALL MY FRIENDS PLEASE STOP HITTING ON THE BARON AURGH. Anevka: I'm not HITTING on him, I'm trying to make his face turn puce. Anevka: I am, however, hitting on Von Pinn. She looks like she knows how to have fun. Tarvek: MOTHER.

Tarvek, to Gil: the baron can't be your dad, he's old enough to be your grandfather. Gil: He’s at a solid age for both.

Anevka and Klaus have zero actual attraction to each other but there's definitely A Dynamic that's eerily reminiscent of his relationship with Bang, with slightly less "I did a violence, be proud of me" and slightly more "I did a sexy and/or politics, be proud of me."

Tarvek: I have a problem. Gil: What's up? Tarvek: All of our friends want to fuck my mom. Zulenna: I don't. Tarvek: That's because she used to put you in time-out when we were five.

Anevka is prime Dangerous Widow material. She didn't actually kill her husband but a hell of a lot of people think she did.

Seffie thinks her Auntie 'Nevka is the COOLEST

Anevka having an intermittent fling with that "darlingly stupid young hero, Tryggvassen" makes me laugh way too hard and also dips into my nonsense love of Otharnevka.

At one point we did sidle over into “what if Single Father KB tho”

Like they met at some point on vacation while the kids were still kids, which does lose us the “Anevka aggressively ships her kid with Agatha” thing, so I’m not sticking with this but there’s some hella fun tidbits.

Anevka: Guess what. Klaus, very tired: What. Anevka: I'm getting married. Klaus: Again? Good for you. I hope this one lives longer. Anevka: He has the same name as you. Klaus: Get out of my house.

KB isn't a widower, things are just complicated and everyone blames Lu. There's time travel involved, of course.

"So your daughter--" "Sister." "...how--" "Just... just blame my mother."

He's LEGALLY Agatha's dad, maybe? Their dynamic is parent-child. Just, you know, as far as blood goes...

Anevka wants KB to help her bag Othar again. KB thinks she means finally killing him. Anevka: I might. Haven't decided yet.

Overall, though, including KB is too complicated without undermining the entire premise I want. Which is mostly canon but Anevka is Tarvek's embarrassing, mysterious, prone-to-assassination mother.

Seriously though, the entire attraction here is Anevka having the Dangerous Widow Whom No Man Can Tie Down vibe

She's a solo act. Some flings, sure, but overall? Chaos. Refined, elegant chaos.

Anevka as Bang’s sugar mom was suggested. We were obviously all on board.

Bang doesn’t need a sugar mom, but it makes the vein in Klaus's forehead throb, and that's very important.

Bang absolutely tries to get Tarvek to call her “mom” while she’s ‘dating’ Anevka. One time he does call her that and it throws her for SUCH A LOOP because no wrong.

Anevka occasionally daydreams of a world where she could have both Othar and Bang at the same time without them IMMEDIATELY trying to kill each other. Only occasionally, though, she has evidence to plant and blood to spill.

BACK TO ANEVKA SHIPPING HER KID WITH HIS POLITICALLY-APPROPRIATE CRUSH.

Anevka: Oh look, my future daughter-in-law. Tarvek, tired: Mother, she doesn't like me. Anevka: Whyever not? You're clever, handsome, politically apt, charming, sensitive, heir to a throne, you are EVERYTHING a maiden could wish for. Tarvek: You just think that because you're my mom. Agatha: No, no, she's not wrong. You're just not someone I trust. At all. Especially since you say you've been a honeypot before. Anevka: See? A simple hurdle, dear, I'm sure you could whip him into shape in no time. I could even loan you the whip. And the harness, perh-- Tarvek: MOTHER.

Anevka sends Tarvek out with Othar for “field trips.”

It’s great!! Multi-purpose! Absolutely helps boost Tarvek’s image if he’s associated with Known Hero, gets Othar out of her hair for a little bit, sometimes he can be pointed in a direction that’s useful to her.

Othar refers to this outings as “stepfather-stepson bonding times.” Tarvek absolutely hates it. Detests it, really.

Somehow something goes wrong and like 50% of the time and he ends up getting accused of murder, probably.

It’s so unfair. Especially since of the two of them, Othar is more likely to murder than him. (It’s because everyone knows what those Valois types are like, and Othar is a hero.)

Gil: What's so embarrassing about your mom? Your mom's nice. (To me.)

She gives him head pats and lollipops. His own dad certainly never gives him head pats OR lollipops.

Anevka: Well I WAS going to push him towards dear little Seffie, but he seems to be quite enamored with YOU, darling. Tarvek: Mother, PLEASE stop getting invested in my love life.

Anevka’s job is to meddle, he’s lucky she isn’t drawing up contracts and going Full Arrangement.

I also love the idea of Anevka having one of those "sunshine embodied anime mom" smiles as she says "Oh Tarvek, dear, look at all your little friends!"

She's genuinely enthused but Klaus is heavily disturbed by Anevka smiling like that.

"Is she going to sacrifice them?" "Uh, no, it isn't Sunday."

Human sacrifice is actually garish and passe these days, haven’t you heard?

Just imagining one of those Stately Child and Parent portraits with Anevka and Tarvek here.

When Tarvek was born, Anevka has an "I've only had my son for an hour and a half" moment... and then just shrugged and rolled with it.

Anevka "Hot Mom" Sturmvoraus is one of the MANY banes of Klaus's existence, but she's definitely one of the friendliest on the list... as much as he may resent that, at times.

Anevka: Is the Baron in? Boris: Actually... [Crashing noise] Boris: He just left. Anevka, pulling on the rocket boots she stole from Othar and heading towards the broken window leading to the outside of the ship: That's alright, I'll catch up.

(I love how Anevka's name just lends itself so well to AU portmanteaus.)

Anevka definitely susses out Gil's identity but she doesn't actually DO anything about it other than angling for Useful Connections.

She's always telling Tarvek to bring his friend along, and Klaus doesn't want Gil anywhere near that family but he doesn't want it to look like he has any particular interest in Gil.

Imagine Klaus actually encouraging Gil to persue Agatha with the idea that it will put some distance between Gil and "that damn woman and her spawn." Anevka for her part is pushing Agatha towards Tarvek. Meanwhile the three of them are working it out between themselves.

She just has This Energy, folks:

Tarvek: Oh no. Theo: Whats the matter? That's your mom, right? Tarvek: Oh NO, she's wearing her 'NEWLY WIDOWED BUT OUT ON THE PROWL' OUTFIT Theo: ????? She hasn’t been widowed- Tarvek: SHES AFTER THE BARON AND I'M GOING TO DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT, THEO

The one thing here is that Anevka's not into Klaus and he's not into her but by GOD is she going to fuck with his head about it.

She’s just doing this for the Big Dick Energy of trying to Get Baron Wulfenbach.

Embarrassing mom of the deadliest degree.

Tarvek: YOU’RE GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE. Anevka: Don't be so dramatic, let your mother have a bit of fun. Besides, he's not expelling you anymore, is he? Tarvek: I almost wish he was-

Also Gil and Tarvek reconciling early on due to the immense power of being Embarrassed By Your Parents.

Anevka and Klaus getting increasingly bitchy at each other at dinner, and Tarvek and Gil are just. Bright red and glowering at them.

They’re DESTROYING their COOL TEEN CRED.

Tarvek doesn't ever wants to marry a woman who has been married before, not because of some weird distaste of so-called "sloppy seconds," but rather that he's just scared that they're going to be like his mom, and planning to kill him for his money.

Tarvek, waking up in the middle of the night: What if they really do get married and I have to have Gil as a stepbrother. Tarvek: (screams internally for a few hours)

Anevka is also that Sailor J contouring video

While Otharnevka is... this thing

Some more relevant Vibes: Divorce Court Half-Mourning Upper East Side Widow

Everyone always assumed she had murdered her husband. It was a natural assumption, but ultimately wrong. She had had plans in place to kill him if the need arose, but in the end she hadn’t needed them.

Most people grossly underestimated how complicated it was to arrange for someone to be t-boned by a semi carrying flammable chemicals.

Othar as Anevka's second trophy husband and Tarvek's annoying stepdad has a very specific energy.

That energy is at least 20% "the lovebirds take anniversary honeymoons every year" and 60% "Tarvek hates being in the room with them because they're gross and embarrassing."

This is partly fun because Othar being Tarvek’s stepdad is... a lot.

But honestly, I'm also just enjoying cougar Anevka with Trophy Husband Othar. They're actually in love!!! BUT. Cougar with a trophy husband.

Anevka makes sly comments about Othar and Klaus having sexual tension.

Also I have headcanons about NB Tarvek and like

I think she'd be supportive up until the point of "you want to be Storm King, don't you?"

Less "this isn't natural and you shouldn't be this way" and more "this is going to cause you trouble due to social norms."

"Keep it under wraps until your throne is secure, then you can come out in a blaze of glory." No dresses in public until you're king, then do whatever you want. After all, “Your Majesty” is gender neutral.

Anevka caught Tarvek playing dressup in her closet one time and just criticized the color relationships.

And you must try to avoid wearing that particular shade at all, my dear, it really doesn't look imperial.

[misterbitches]

i live in a universe where if i were to walk down the street i could get murdered willy nilly cos im black but men are out here going around being like “my boyfriend and i met when he was a junior in high school” i don’t believe in jail and i try not to make jail jokes but HOW IS THAT FAIR? JAIL!!! GUILLOTINE!!!! GET THIS MAN A RETIREMENT FUND AND A THERAPIST

that dialogue was fucking embarrassing. he shoulda just said “im 12 yrs older than him” no one needs to know u were 30 dating a 17 year old u insecure freak. retire bitch and get away from her

 i wanted muren so badly to be like “LMAO SRY didnt mean to seem surprised i just like men my own age i guess?” i wouldnt have even apologized if i was surprised. my friend was dating someone ten yrs younger than him and i made fun of him for it and he was like “i know” bc he does know.

just a tip: i don’t like getting hit on by men way older than me, a lot of people don’t. i’ve had men who are 36 interested in me when i was 23, and i reciprocated, but now as i am 29 and older i realize how much it confused me and how i didn’t like it.

age gaps are what they are. ther’es many times i do not like it especially if it is a pattern (this is what happens in tv shows and movies and the opposite of that isn’t gay age gaps or power imbalances or women much older than a younger man ok that’s not progress it’s just peopl ewanting to be like cis men and no one wants that) and esp if the person’s peers are all their ages. people seem to forget that we travel in the same social circles on purpose due to our environments and also our world experiences. the only way to meet an older man is outside of school and yet adults can’t seem to control themselves?

i saw this person who was one of the editors of sexual hegemony (a book on capitalism and homophobic laws and sex basically idk google it it’s interesting) and he was trying to have a foucultian outlook (i hate focault btw doesn’t mean what he says wasnt interesting but it does mean i am not okay with psychosexual philosophers who take advantage of people. the only testament against him having reltaions with younger people is a bunch of young people i nfucking tunisia and there’s an excuse that he wasn’t a fucking pedophile he was those ebebebbeopopopo people and it doesnt matter when ur in fucking tunisia as a white french algerian fucking preying on children) how age of consent laws desexualize younger people. they were passed for  abunch of reasons like any law but here is the thing

we have no business in being in spaces to determine children’s sexual identity and teenagers in their own realm. THEY need to figure it out. our job as adults is to PROTECT THEM full stop. not intrude on their lfe and not give them the tools to decide for themselves. age of consent laws are meant to protect not to facilitate children against some boogeyman of sex. the issue is the way our society views it but young people are sexual AS YOUNG PEOPLE. it has NOTHING to do with adults and it shouldn’t. that’s why it is extra fucking intrusive when you are literally wedged into someone’s life who you have no business being around. it’s only by fucking circumstance. it’s abysmal and not cute. 

what this tells me is that the age gap is salacious. not in the way that i was 23 and a man was 36. in the way that he was 17 and this dude was 29. that’s interesting right? it’s “oooh” and it means we shouldn’t balk at it. saying 12 years would have sufficed, raises some eyebrows, and we can figure out the dynamics after but you just had to put that in BECAUSE YOU FUCKING LIKE IT but the thing is there’s no part of it that was fun. i’m just going to assume you like fucking teenagers bc that’s what it’s telling me lmao

i rarely talk about this couple but to put them in my eyeballs and then have that stupid conversation it was insulting lmao god please get a fucking script supervisor fuck but none of them care about sotry or any of what i fucking laid out. how stupid and careless and just unfun. i don’t like it. also ew at the idea of 2 tops and 2 bottoms talking oh my god i am gonna give myself a heart attack i’m already so fucking anxious i have to see my family lemme chill

im 29 and feel bad having a crush on a 23 year old CELEBRITY ok and i SHOULD feel ashamed and it’s not even a big deal that’s how everyone should approach life tbqh u walk around like ur 100 yrs old to avoid children. oh what’s that this korean cebrity learned english and moved to america to start a family with me and i find him very hot and i like his voice but we’re 6 years apart i’m not sure if i would work (how fun of a drama would that be. pointless and ridiculous. i love it.)

oh there’s a great review on CMBYN and its history and how the isolation and seeclusion was so fuckign capitalist bougie patriarchy and yea idk if anyone is interested. i think it’s ironic the ending for the people in CMBYN irl bc it’s just. so indicative of this shit. i dont like guadignino (idk is that how u spell his name) and think he’s not a great....person or director (i love the look of suspiria tho likke visually and edited. the DP was thai btw! he did an amazing job!!!) but it critiques this film from a perspective of someone who clearly at least cares about artistry, no matter how poorly i think he executes it, and just how hollow it is. the thing about “escapism” is that it relies on the harsh realities of the world to make it opposite, everything has context, nothing is apolitical. to make something that exists in a vacuum is negligent and it doesn’t help you escape it makes you even more tied to this world and its flaws because it doesn’t do anything to mitigate it.

people view it as like “we can put something stupid on screen and people have to accept it in this world” but that isn’t how IT WORKS. you hvae to build up the stakes of the world. but i can’t see introducing some “taboo” (see: stupid) elements and pretending the escapism is seeing this and allowing it. how could it be when the problem is the nature of the rship itself? what world are you taking us to? and why does this world ignore the pressing realities? and i wouldnt say either of these are explicit escapism (i think i hate that word now) becuase um they arent. this fantastical generally rich people escapism isn’t about bending things that don’t work to mold it into our society because WE DO THAT ALREADY it’s about taking those things and twisting them to something we can accept and like or something that has real consequences for people. it’s so funny how marketing and the idea of pc culture and shit and conservative ideology seeps into these. they have  an explicit interest in holding the status quou of taking advantage of people and using their power; age is a huge structure to do so. in this society when we struggle why would its existence not be challenged? because rape, ridiculous rships, abusive rships, torture etc is a power move, conservatives rest on it and people who gain power. what about that is appealing? making it gay? well, no. especially because men DO have power. 

every fucking thing in BL is a reflection of of patriarchy honestly. i can admit that and i’m not okay with it but it’s consumption. there’s a way to make this decent or entertaining without it being so fucking poorly done. and atp i dont even want to call things bl it’s a tv show just bc it’s for a certain audience doesnt mean anything do better idiots

[fuckingdeadbutroyal]

Jasonette July- Soulmate AU- Part 2

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 -

“How long has this been going on?”, Damians voice was flat. An outsider would maybe even perceive it as bored, but his brothers heard him. Damian Wayne was horrified. “Five and a half days now, to be precise. We have heard of the earthquake but we didn’t know about the metas. That’s why we’re here, save the citizens and catch the-” “How did we not know of any metas in Paris? Why are we only coming to help them now? Look at this place!”, Nightwing interrupted his father, in Jasons opinion rightfully so. Paris was not what he remembered from the posters and booklets he had seen. The city could have lost WW2 and even then it would probably look better than it currently did. “That’s international matters, we’re not even meant to be here but it got out of control so I asked Red Robin to investigate. Now stop complaining and start working.”, Bruce scolded his adoptives and, leaving no room for further interruption, began giving out orders. Dick, Jason, Stephanie and Damian were on citizen-saving duty, while Tim stayed at the manor and guided them per earpiece. Bruce, Cass, Duke and Barbara were on metawatch™, meant to collect more information on the cause of destruction, aswell as the heroes Tim had mentioned in his report. One final tech-check later the formerly crowded rooftop was deserted and Paris had a new crew of support in form of bat-themed vigilantes.

-------------------------

Jason felt...sad. Deeply, desperatly heartbroken. He remembers feeling that way when he first discovered his fathers lack of avenging the death of his second son. But now? Of course, the sight he was currently enduring was horrific. He was sorry it had to come to this, frustrated his hands just weren’t enough to help every Parisian in pain. But that desperation? His inhumane tiredness? The way his whole body just felt numb, as if he were in so much pain his senses just wouldn’t- no couldn’t keep up? He knew it was out of place, his brothers were okay after all. Even Dick, the most emotional one out of his siblings, was much more focused than Jason. He knew it had to do with his soulmate, at least he guessed as much. The thought of them being somewhere in this city, hiding in one of those hyper-secure shelters he had seen while rummaging through the collapsed buildings and pulling out everyone he could find...it was unnerving. Though somehow he knew that that wasn’t the case. 

Upon first taking in the sight of Paris’ ruins Red Hood just knew where he was and what streets he was aiming for. He knew where the shelters were, could guide the civilians towards them and even recognized some of the buidings, even though there was nothing left but dust and dirt. Jason had a gut feeling telling him that all those things weren’t actually his knowledge. It had to be his soulmates. They knew everything he needed to know about the city, they recognized it from above. But one piece of information, which now that Timmy has properly updated them about Paris’ situation should have been absolutely unavoidable, was missing. What do those shelters look like from the inside? 

Why doesn’t his soulmate know?

----------------------------------------

Marinette was on autopilot. It has been four days since her parents death. She hasn’t slept, hasn’t eaten and hasn’t stopped moving. Chat has already collapsed twice, which ended up with her carrying him to one of their recharging-shelters in the water and spending ungodly amounts of time trying to find food and water for him aswell as holding him in place while he slept, hoping to avoid his otherwise certain death by drowning. “What a sad end it would be”, the girl thought to herself, “all that effort, all that pain, and we could just loose it all to a petty accident. Not that there is much left to save...”

She wasn’t going to admit it out loud, but Ladybug, the hero and saviour of Paris, did no longer care about winning. She didn’t think of saving those people who were praying in her name, praying to her. She didn’t believe in god and oh Kwami did she not believe in herself. What she did believe in, though, was revenge. She wanted to kill that dusty bitch, even if it was the last thing she would do. Ladybug didn’t care about the victim. She knew for herself that if she were the one who did this to her beloved City of Love, she could no longer live with herself. She wanted to kill the akuma and even though a voice deep inside her was telling her otherwise, trying to stop her and arguing that this was not what her parents would have wanted, Marinette did not care. She was going to free the petite akuma and then tear it apart with her very own teeth. And guess who’s next? “That’s right, I’m coming for your ass, Shitmoth.”

Her voice woke the boy next to her. She hasn’t even realised how her train of thought has surfaced into the real world until Plagg, who was sleeping on the blondes stomach, started grumbling in despleasure about how his pillow shouldn’t be moving. Adrien sat up, not meeting Ladybugs eyes as he took the cheese she was handing him and giving it to the suddenly awake and alert Kwami who, as always, swallowed it whole. It was kind of nice, reassuring, watching him do something Adrien has formerly perceived as highly annoying. Back then, before “The End of the World”, as he now called it, has fallen from the sky. Or rather dug it’s way out from six feet under, since the main cause of destruction were the earthquakes. Destruction. Thinking of it made Adriens gag-reflexes act up. He hated this akuma. Not only for the obvious reasons. No, Adrien hated how useless he himself felt because of it. Why should he cataclysm something while he’s trying to stop Dirtface from doing so? It was highly contraproductive and Chat could not stand it. It was like watching the person you hate most, fan-girl about something you love. Kind of ruins the experience. Adrien didn’t know if he could use his power the way he did before, ever again. The only upside to it was, that he didn’t have to recharge as often and was therefore capable of protecting his partner whenever she had to hide. 

As long as he didn’t fucking collapse from exhaustion, of course.

“I fainted again, didn’t I?”, he asked, shame crawling into his every pore. He was hoping to avoid that. The first time already came at the price of his identity, though luckily Ladybug has been quick enough to hide him before anyone else could catch a glimpse. Adrien wasn’t aware of it, but once Mari managed to securely position him on one of the upside-down-boats benches, she fell into a hysterical fit of laughter. She cried, she felt as if she were about to choke, as if she were about to finally explode into all those shattered pieces her heart now consisted of. Her laughter, though, showed none of these emotions. An outsider would be afraid to come near her, her parents would not be able to recognize her, she herself would have been disturbed by that sight. If the Joker were there to see it, he would have had to give his crown to her, for her laugh was scarier than any Jokers could ever be. 

----------------------

Marinette just nodded and waited for Chat to suit back up. She didn’t think of his collapses as embarassing. Instead, Ladybug was highly impressed by his skill and endurance. She knew he didn’t have the luxury of someone taking the hit for her, sleeping and eating instead of her. For so long Mari has been trying to convice herself that she realy was, just like Adrien, just like Chat, alone. She wanted to believe that her soulmate was dead, wanted to live and not give a damn about that extra source of pain, which is the only thing she has ever thought of, when it came to feeling any kind of relationship towards her bonded. How could she love what brings her torture? How could she want to love the pain? Now though, with death being all around her, no-one she could turn to and time playing against her...Marinette was relying on them. She would not be able to surive this without her soulmate sleeping instead of her, would have probably fallen to the hands of malnutrition, if it weren’t for them feeding her through that inexplicable bond between their souls. 

Adrien did not have that. He was born without a soulmate, which wasn’t anything unusual. After all, more than half of the worlds population were either born without a soulmate or simply existed during a different century than their significant others. 

Just like Nino, just like Chloe, just like Nathaniel, Kagami and Luka: Adrien isn’t going to stay by Ladybugs side forever. She knew that now. That was okay, though. Because now she was certain of one thing. Her soulmate was alive and, according to her intensifying tiredness as well as that energizing tingling keeping her body up and working, they were on their way to save her.

That carries a tiny problem though.

She had to avoid getting help. She wouldn’t let it happen again.

--------------------------------------------------

HI! First of: Thank you so much for the amazing feedback, I am so fucking grateful you have no idea (or you do? idk. THANK YOU ILY)

This story has gotten much longer than I had planned but tbh I love it. There’s a part 3 and probably a part 4 coming, Though I’ll post it tomorrow ‘cause I gotta write it and like, live life a bit.

Critique and any kind of feedback is very welcome!

I will most probably continue Jasonette July, this is so much more fun than I expected. So see you tomorrow \o/

Thanks for reading^^

P.S.: There's finally some proper Jasonette on the horizon☄

[keichanz]

Koi No Yokan | 11

AO3

Well, shit. Now Inuyasha felt like a giant asshole for making her relive those painful memories and he grimaced, ears flattening into his hair as he looked away. Fuck, but what sort of uncaring, despicable bastard did you have to be to sell your own damned niece to a brothel? And sending a young boy hours, possibly days away, from the only blood relative he had left? Inuyasha silently vowed if he ever met the lowly creatures who displayed such selfishness, he’d—

…Okay he didn’t know what he’d do, but he’d think of something. Because that was just wrong and he knew if his parents ever heard such a tale, they’d agree with him.

She suddenly stood up, drawing him from his thoughts, and he watched her open the window before dumping the water out of it. She busied herself with tidying up the room, setting the basket of medical supplies by the door to take care of tomorrow, and it was obvious she was trying to distract herself from her own thoughts.

“I’m sorry,” Inuyasha blurted and she paused to glance at him, her expression inquisitive. “For, uh, what happened. And it probably wasn’t easy, uh, saying all that.”

A fleeting look of surprise crossed her features and then they softened into a smile. She wandered over to perch on the end of the bed, though she angled her body toward him.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “And it’s okay. It…actually felt good to get all of that off my chest. I hadn’t told anyone all of the details since it happened and it feels like I can breathe a little easier, you know?” She shrugged. “I only gave Sen a watered-down explanation so not even she knows everything.”

Then she smiled at him and it was so genuine, so bright and sincere that Inuyasha felt his face go warm.

“So thank you for listening to me,” she said, gratitude in those great blue eyes of hers.

“I, uh, y-you’re welcome?”

Inuyasha wanted to groan and cover his face because seriously? Jesus Christ.

Instead he cleared his throat and tried to distract her and himself from his awkwardness by saying, “Uh, you and Sen. Seem pretty close.”

She smiled again and crawled to the head of the bed before propping her back against the thin headboard and wrapping her arms around her knees. She stared at her feet for a minute, collecting her thoughts, and Inuyasha took the opportunity to scoot back until he was leaning against the headboard as well. Even though she was a small thing, there still wasn’t much room on the bed for two people so his thigh brushed her feet, but she didn’t seem to mind so he didn’t give it much thought.

“Sen is my friend and the only one I can trust,” she admitted. “None of the other girls made an effort to be nice or even pretended to be. My first night here, she tried to tell me to run, to flee in the middle of the night. She wanted to protect me from this place, but like a fool I didn’t and now…”

She sighed and idly played with the gauzy material of her dress.

Inuyasha digested that in silence before asking, “Why didn’t you?”

Kagome shook her head. “I was scared. I had nowhere else to go. No money, nothing to my name but the clothes on my back and the shoes on my feet, and now I don’t even have those. I’m pretty sure Madam Kirina burned them. So now…I have nothing. What other choice did I have but to stay?”

Inuyasha’s jaw tightened and he looked away, glaring ahead at nothing in particular. As much as he hated to admit it, staying here had probably been the smartest thing for her to do with no money or nowhere else to go. Someone as delicate as her would get eaten alive out there, either by the harsh realities of a cruel world, or by hungry demons looking for their next meal.

“Anyway,” she continued with a sigh and his ear flicked toward her. “Sen has done her best to protect me from interested men and Madam Kirina, always making up excuses for me so I wouldn’t have to, er, entertain. I hid in the kitchens when I could with the pretext of preparing the guests’ something to eat. This time though, I guess…I guess she got tired of me hiding and, well…”

She trailed off but she didn’t need to finish. Inuyasha had witnessed the exchange between them, recalling clearly the brothel owner’s harsh words. He was well aware of the unfairness of it all and found himself wishing he could do something, anything to help, but then had to chastise himself because he was being ridiculous. There was nothing he could do. She was an escort now, property of this brothel and its cruel owner. After he left tomorrow morning it was unlikely he’d ever see her again.

Still, though, a part of him couldn’t help but feel a little guilty since he and his group of men were responsible for how things had gone tonight for her. Okay, Miroku was mainly responsible, but semantics. Granted, even if they hadn’t shown up, things still might have gone the same way because frankly Madam Kirina was a bitch, but there was no way of telling, so Inuyasha didn’t dwell on it.

He had to accept there was nothing he could do, and move on.

“How’s your arm?” she asked, pulling him away from his musings for what felt like the nth time that night.

Inuyasha flexed his arm, a little surprised the sting he’d felt before had diminished almost entirely.

“S’fine,” he answered, giving a shrug. “Hardly stings anymore. You’re pretty good at that. Treatin’ injuries, I mean.”

The girl smiled and gave a sheepish shrug, but her face flushed in delight.

“My parents were doctors,” she explained. “I liked to help take care of the patients and I picked up a thing or two.”

“It’s a useful skill to have.” Inuyasha grunted before sliding off the bed and stretching. Damn, that bed was small.

She said nothing in response and he glanced at the girl—

Inuyasha inwardly sighed. He really needed to stop calling her that.

“You got a name?” he asked, taking a step back and leaning against the wall as he crossed his arms.

She blinked, evidently having not expected that. Then she smiled.

“Ka—” She cut herself, remembering Sen’s advice about false names. Something about protecting yourself, and it was pretty sound advice. She tried again, saying the first word that came to mind.

“Um, K-Koi.” She flushed. “My name is Koi.”

Inuyasha’s eyebrows rose into his bangs at the unusual name, but then remembered where they were and figured it was probably an alias. A smart move, even if she had nothing to fear from him. But it was good to get into the habit, so he didn’t call her out on it.

“C-can you tell me your name, please?” she asked and at his perplexed look, her flush deepened and she hastened to explain, “You’re the only person aside from Sen whose shown me any kindness in a very long time. If it’s alright with you, I’d…like to know the name of the man responsible for giving me a good memory amongst all the bad. Please.”

Inuyasha said nothing at first as he studied her. Amber eyes took in her earnest expression, the small, hopeful smile curling her lips, and beautiful midnight eyes gazing at him with such unabashed admiration it made him slightly uncomfortable.

“Sha,” he replied at length, inclining his head. Even if she didn’t recognize him, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to give out his real identity just to be on the safe side. “And I wouldn’t exactly call it kindness. I was just doing what any sensible man would do, Koi.”

He paused. That had sounded weird, but he…kind of…liked it? What the fuck.

Kagome shrugged, an easy smile on her face, pleased he’d given her his name. “Perhaps, but there aren’t many of those around here, at least in my experience.”

Her smile turned wry as she looked away and Inuyasha felt stupid. Duh. Of course she wouldn’t have met any sensible men. She lived in a motherfucking brothel, for chrissakes.

“Yeah,” he grumbled, grimacing. “I s’pose you’re right.” He didn’t sound too happy about that, either.

<<Prev || Next>>

Chapter Index

[aesthetical-bucky]

Three’s A Lucky Number

Pairing: Bucky x Female!Reader

Summary: You’ve sabotaged Bucky’s dates three times, but what happens when the super soldier finally confronts you about it?

Requested by @hailmary-yramliah​ -  Hey! So I love the fic Hungry Heart and wanted to request again since you're an amazing writer! XD Could you do a BuckyxReader where the reader is jealous of Bucky's date because she has a crush on him and he's oblivious? Maybe he finds out when the reader sabotages his date and he confronts her? Or you could go a whole different route hehe thanks in advance! ❤️

Warnings: Language, sex toy play (at the end), implied smut, a smidgen of confrontation in a confined space. If I’ve missed anything, please let me know! 

Word Count: 2,220 (oopsies)

Authors Notes: This was requested by the lovely @hailmary-yramliah​ and I’m sorry because I got so carried away with it but it just wrote itself? Hehe! Hope you enjoy reading :)

If looks could kill, the blonde-haired bitch Bucky invited over would certainly be dead by now. You were sat next to Steve when Bucky walked in with her hanging off his arm as they sat on the opposite couch. Truthfully, you didn’t understand why she was here and if you were honest, you didn’t want her here. His date had spent the entire day at the compound, mingling with the others and trying to fit herself in and they had reservations for dinner in an hour at some fancy top restaurant. You hated it and you knew jealousy was an ugly look, but at this point, you couldn’t care less. “Oh, is this Chloe?” You smirked pointing to the lady. Bucky’s eyebrows creased as he tried to figure out what you were up to. 

“Y/N, what are you doing?” Bucky seethed, giving you a warning look which you blatantly ignored.

“Who is Chloe?” The dragon with the voice whispered, her hand grazing his thigh and it was making your blood boil.

“Some girl he brought here last night to fuck. No big deal.” You shrugged nonchalantly, earning a warning nudge from Steve.

“Y/N, Come on.”

“It’s true and then the night before that he brought home that… uhhh what’s her name…” You clicked your fingers and smirked as you continued. “Fiona from statistics!” 

“Y/N!” Bucky warned. Your eyes flicked over to hers and grinned. She was shifting uncomfortably in her seat and scoots away from Bucky, something he easily notices. “I’m so sorry Jess. I don’t know what her problem is.” Bucky scoffed, interlacing his fingers with hers. A lump formed in your throat at their hands, your anger and frustration building up. 

You harboured a crush on the soldier pretty much since the day you arrived in the tower and officially became an Avenger. But you knew he was out of your league but it didn’t stop you from trying. Bucky had reservations for the type of women he dated, the same type that was sat opposite you right now biting her lip like the seductive horny bitch she is. 

And sometimes you felt really angry towards Bucky because that bastard was so oblivious to your attempts. You even told him he looked like sex on legs when he strolled through the kitchen in his sweats and that tattered old henley of his. His hair dishevelled and sticking up so high you could probably pick up a clear WiFi connection. His response? He just told you to be quiet. It broke your heart every time, your crush was turning into feelings and you wanted nothing more than to protect him from all the other single women in the world. You wanted him to be yours, not hers.

You watch as he whispered something in her ear. A blush forming on her cheeks as she twirled her curly hair around her finger. A loud pitched laugh invaded your ears. Anger boiled up when you saw the blonde-haired bitch throwing her head back, Bucky eyeballing her exposed throat.

Bucky was driving you crazy and he wasn’t even aware of what he was doing. 

“Fuck sake.” You cursed with an eye-roll. Though your eyes widened when you realised you just said that out loud, but at least the bitch stopped laughing.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Tony smirked when he sauntered in the room adjusting his bracelet. Tony was probably one of the few who knew of your love for the soldier. It was hard to deny it when he found your journal full of desires and inner feelings for Mr Barnes. You made the mistake of writing a dream you had in the journal, a dream where you became Bucky’s wife and bearing his children. Tony hasn’t stopped bringing that up ever since and you hoped he wouldn’t now. “Is your husband annoying you?” He cackled. 

Fuck

“Don’t encourage her Tony.” Steve interfered.

Wait, did Steve know about it too?

“Y/N, come with me please,” Steve ordered, walking into the kitchen and pouring a couple of glasses of wine. 

“Please don’t lecture me, Steve.” You sighed. 

“Was those lies really necessary? You know about Bucky’s past Y/N. You should be happy for him so why on earth are you trying to sabotage his third date this week?” He demanded in his ‘Captain’ voice.

It was true, you knew Bucky wasn’t actually sleeping with anyone because he wasn’t that type of man. But when he brings different girls to the compound, you knew it was only a matter of time before he took a dip in their manhole.

I’d be happy with him. God, if only you knew Steve.

“Now please take this glass of wine to Jess and apologise. It’s not a request.”

“Fine.” You mumbled, taking the glass from his hand and reluctantly going over to them. Bucky watched you with careful eyes and as you neared Jess, you pretended to trip over your feet, sending the full glass of wine down her white dress. 

“Oops.” You shrugged with a grin as she desperately patted down her dress. 

“Oh my GOD! BUCKY! Your friend is a fucking lunatic!” She screamed and Bucky growled and you took it as your cue to leave the room. Only to have a large metal hand wrap around your wrist and march you both out of the room.

You were stumbling hopelessly behind Bucky towards the elevator, his fast walk pace was impossible for you to keep up with. 

“Buck! Slow down!” You hissed as his grip tightened. Bucky repeatedly pressed the elevator button and more-or-less threw you inside once the doors eventually opened, you backed away from him when he stood in front of the buttons, again repeatedly punching his floor number.

“FRIDAY, shut the fucking doors!” Bucky snarled, clenching his hands into fists and breathing heavily. 

You stood there on the other side of the elevator nursing your bruising and sore wrist as Bucky stared straight ahead with his arms folded over his large chest. He almost looked identical to a dragon, minus the smoke flailing out from his nostrils and the tips of his ear turning a bright red. You knew you were gonna be in for it just by the thunderous look on his face. 

The elevator ride to his floor was intense, to say the least. The quiet hum of the elevator, the heavy breathing and the tension surrounding you was so thick it was scary, almost like a severe gas leak, you’d just need one little naked flame to make an explosion. You almost couldn’t stand it. 

You turned to face Bucky and sighed. “Buck, I’m really sor-” you flinched when his large hand suddenly moved towards the big red STOP letters above the numbers and he punched it. The elevator came to a halt and now you didn’t know what to expect. 

Bucky faced you, then stalked slowly towards you, prompting you to take a step back until your back was flushed against the wall. 

“Why are you sorry, Y/N? What did I ever do to make you hate me so much that you took it upon yourself to ruin any chance of happiness?” Bucky seethed, his steps not faltering. “I want to know, what did I do? Did I hurt you? Did I upset you? WHAT DID I DO?!” He growled and your eyes screwed shut, your body tensing from his tone. His flesh fingers gently held your chin. “Look at me, Y/N.” Your eyes opened, his anger replaced by confusion. “Please tell me what I did.”

You felt guilty and you knew Bucky could see the guilt whirling around in your irises. “Nothing,” you whispered under your breath with a shake of your head. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t believe you, Y/N. Didn’t you once have a dream about me? About being my wife and having my beautiful children?” The corners of his lips lifted into a sly smirk. Your eyes widened to the size of planets. 

“How did you KNOW about that?!” You cringed. 

“I may or may not have stumbled across your little journal. Mrs Barnes.” He chuckled, but not in a tormenting way. Bucky wasn’t teasing you, he was just actually quite flattered. “Why did you keep your feelings from me for so long huh? We could have been married and having our babies right about now.” He smirked. “Tell me doll, did you think about us making those babies, hmm?”

And really, you wished for Hell at this point to just open up and take you. This was a nightmare, the one person who definitely wasn’t supposed to read that journal, did. And you had an intuition that Tony may have had something to do with it. 

Bucky dipped his head downwards. His face was so close to yours that you could feel his breath fanning against your lips. 

“I’m so embarrassed right now.” You mumbled

“I’m actually really flattered but I wished you would have told me sooner because I have been going out of my mind over my feelings for you.” His usual ocean blue eyes are a darker shade. You can feel his heartbeat under the palm of your hand. “Do you still want me?” He asked and your eyes are drawn to his plump pink lips. With no words spoken, your hands wrapped around his neck and crashed his lips to yours in a heated passion. Bucky’s hands slithered down to your waist and behind your thighs, giving them a gentle but firm pinch silently asking you to jump. Your legs wrapped around his waist as your tongues and teeth clashed against one another. 

“FRIDAY, my room!” Bucky panted against your lips. His hard member feeling so constricted in his pants.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes,” FRIDAY responded and the elevator started moving once again.

Once the doors to Bucky’s floor opened. He carried you down the hall, your lips attacking his neck on the way. Bucky kicked the door open with his heavy combat boot and stumbled inside, kicking it shut harder than necessary. Bucky stumbled over to the bed and threw you down. You giggled when you bounced and saw the hungry look in his eyes. 

“FRIDAY, lock my door and alert the team that Y/N and I are busy for a couple of days.” He ordered and the AI beeped in acknowledgement. 

“Of course, Sergeant Barnes.” The AI responded. Leaving you and Bucky in total silence once again. 

“Now then.” Bucky taunted, removing his Henley and kicking his boots off. “I believe a certain someone sabotaged not one, not two but three of my dates.” He tutted with a shake of his head. 

You brought a finger up to your lips and pleaded with doe eyes. Knowing full well it wasn’t going to help you in this situation. 

“Three dates. Three possible relationships ruined. I think you need three different kinds of punishment, doll.” He smirked, pulling a few items out from his bedside table drawers. Your eyes widened when you realised they were, in fact, sex toys. And you didn’t entertain the idea of those being used on you when they could have been used for the other women in this very room. 

“Buck- no I don-”

Just as though Bucky can read you like a book, he interrupts. “They’re brand new, doll. See? Still in the packaging. I haven’t even slept with anyone.” He reassured. “But you already knew that. So tell me, do you want this Y/N? Do you want me?” He asks for a second time. 

“I do.” You answer with a nod. 

“Ah, preparing for our big day huh?” He chuckled, tearing the plastic off with a simple flick of his wrist, inserting the batteries to the rabbit. Bucky presses the buttons to make sure it’s working and a wide Cheshire cat grin grows. “Perfect.” He throws it down on the bed and his fingers work on the button of your jeans and zipper and swiftly pulling the tight material along with your soaked underwear down your legs and throwing them somewhere across the room. 

Bucky lubes the shaft of the vibrator with a generous amount so you don’t feel any pulling. He grins as he gently pushed the plastic toy inside. The rabbit ears snugged against your clit as Bucky works through the first vibration. He grins, laying down on his stomach with his knee slightly bent, working through the different vibration sensations, sending you into a whole new dimension of pleasure. And if that wasn’t enough, he pressed the rotary button so the shaft wiggled around inside of you, occasionally touching your G-spot.  

Bucky set the vibration on the highest setting and your toes curled into his comforter as you neared your orgasm. And you were almost there when he suddenly shut the rabbit off completely. 

“Bucky!” You whined, which earned you an eye roll as he disregarded the toy. His breath hitched when your juices ran freely from your entrance. Bucky pulled you up to your feet and he sat himself down on the edge of the bed. He motioned to his lap and you went to straddle him but he shook his head. 

“Lay across my lap.” He ordered and you complied. “Second punishment, I hope you’re ready, Y/N. You’re in for a long few days.”

Taglist: @jobean12-blog​ @criminal-cookies​ @nano--raptor​ @marvelgirl7​ @godofplumsandthunder​ @the-wayward-robot​ @littleredstarfish​ @becs-bunker​ @evanstanwrites​

[obxsummer]

Heart of Gold // Half a Heart

word count: 3.1k

warnings: physical violence, cursing, mentions of lack of nutrition

summary: days have passed since you went missing and the palace finally becomes aware of the situation on their hands. meanwhile, sarah stumbles upon a secret not well hidden and jj’s holding on to a necklace like his life depends on it.

a/n: yo this shit’s getting intense. sorry i forgot to post this a while ago oops

masterlist

series masterlist

--

JJ was panicking, he was full-on freaking out as he stood in your room with Kiara and Pope. He had only stepped away for a brief moment to ask for water for your trip and when he came back you were gone. Gone. Nowhere to be found. He tried to be subtle as he searched for you everywhere but you never turned up.

“It’s my fault,” He choked as he tugged at his hair in frustration. “I shouldn’t have left her! My job is literally to protect her and I failed!”

Kiara sat down on the bed and pulled him into a hug. “JJ, you didn’t know. It’s not your fault. You were asking for water. It’s not like you were goofing off and not paying attention.”

“She’s gone, Kie!” He cried. “Do you get that? I lost the princess. They’re going to kill me!”

The room went silent when the door creaked open. Three heads jerked in the direction of the entrance to let out identical sighs of relief when John B walked in. “What’s wrong?” He asked as he surveyed everyone’s expression. “Where’s Y/N?”

Kiara hugged the blond in her arms tighter when he whimpered at your name. Pope frowned at the sight before turning to the prince next to him. “Y/N’s missing. Someone took her.”

“What?” Shushes followed John B’s scream as Pope quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry!” He apologized once he was free to talk. “What do you mean she’s missing?”

Kiara relayed the story since JJ wasn’t in the state to tell it again as he flopped against your bed. He felt so guilty. You trusted him with your life and when it came down to it, he failed you. Someone, with who knows what intentions, had gotten ahold of you and it was killing him that he could’ve stopped it.

“JJ. JJ!” The boy looked up at the sound of his name to see Pope kneeling in front of him. “Don’t dig yourself into a hole. We’re gonna find her. We’ll bring her home.”

“What do I tell Mom and Dad?” John B whispered the question on everyone’s mind. There were a couple ways this could go. They could try to keep it under wraps and see if they could bring you home before the palace went into panic or they told the King and Queen and suffered the consequences but received extra help in bringing you back.

JJ shook his head as he wiped the tears from his cheeks. “I have to tell them. They have to know.” He buried his head in his hands again as he let out a sigh, “They’re gonna kill me. I’m so fucking stupid.”

“JJ, it could’ve been anyone-”

“No! No, it couldn’t!” He stood up, all of his sadness replaced with anger as he threw his arms out in expression. “It was her! It was the one girl I swore on my life I would protect no matter what and she’s gone. They took the one person I actually loved more than anything and they ripped her right out of my hands.” His hands clenched into fists by his sides as he stared straight at the three people in front of me. He shook his head one last time before storming out of your room, leaving the rest of his friends behind to wonder what would happen if they didn’t get you back.

--

A rush of cold ran through your body when you finally woke up. You gagged on the water in your throat, blinking away tears from the sudden shock as you tried to get a grasp on your bearings. The room you were in was dark but clearly resembled a bedroom of the sort with a small bathroom as well. There was limited furniture and zero warmth to the enclosure, which your soaking wet clothes didn’t assist in warming you up. Your hands were bound behind you as you sat on an old wooden chair in the center of the room.

“There she is.”

You gasped at the voice, looking over to see two men standing at your side. You instantly recognized them and your heart sunk in fear. One of the boys near you was Prince Rafe from the adjacent Kook Kingdom, also known as Sarah’s brother. His partner, trusty royal guard Topper who shot first and asked questions never.

“Rafe,” You choked on the water in your throat as you addressed him. “What do you want?”

The prince smirked as he came to stand in front of you. His fingers gripped your jaw with a bruising pressure as you winced in pain. “You turned down my offer to be my queen. It’s a shame really, I was being quite generous but clearly, you weren’t leaving the Maybank boy behind anytime soon so I needed to take what I wanted. Evidently, he doesn’t care enough to pay attention because we pulled you right out of his grip without a blink of an eye, princess.”

He emphasized the title, having heard it from JJ’s mouth in the stables when they grabbed you. He knew it struck a chord within you. You clearly were a force to be reckoned with, but attack the right way and he could easily break you apart piece by piece.

“So, you think just because you kidnapped me that I’ll surrender and marry you?” You repeated as you looked at him, dumbfounded. You shook your head as you started laughing, “This is comical! You can’t force me to be your queen, Rafe! It’s not happening.”

His hand tangled in your hair as he pulled your head back agressively, straining your neck. You gasped at the sudden action, chest heaving as Rafe moved to stand inches away from your face. “Maybe not yet, but you will. I have a plan you know? Slowly break you down and get to see the truth behind those strong walls of yous. A couple of scratches and bruises never killed anybody, right?”

“Go to hell!” You shouted as you kicked your leg out, nailing him in the stomach. He recoiled in pain before slapping you across the cheek. You inhaled sharply at the sudden pain.

“You bitch!” He hissed before leaping forward, his hand squeezing your throat tightly as you choked for air. “I’ll end your life before you can even call for that pathetic blond boy, you hear me? Don’t cross me!”

You struggled to get air in your lungs when Rafe let go and stepped back, anger evident on his features. He continued to glare at you as he walked out the room, Topper following behind before the door slammed shut, locking you insde.

--

Back in the Pogue Kingdom, JJ was crumbling. He had finally mustered up enough strength to confront your parents on what happened with John B, Kiara, and Pope refusing to leave his side once he revealed that he was planning on telling them.

“Kids, good to see you,” Your mom greeted once the group walked in the throne room. “How are you all?”

John B spoke up first, his hand squeezing JJ’s shoulder in reassurance as he stood by his side. “Mom, Dad. Something’s happened.”

“Guards, you’re dismissed.” King John could clearly tell whatever happened was serious and wanted to be alone for whatever his son had to say. The group walked forward once the room was vacated. Your mom was off her seat in seconds, her husband at her side as they approached the four individuals standing before them.

“What’s going on? Where’s your sister?” Your mom, Mariah, never jumped to conclusions before stories were told, but she clearly was fearing for your safety with the expression on your brother’s face at the moment.

“We don’t know,” Kiara confessed as she gave them a sorrowful look.

King John shook his head. “What do you mean you don’t know?” His gaze snapped to the blond in the middle for answers. “JJ, what’s the meaning of this?”

“Your Majesty, I-” JJ began his explanation but was cut off as his friends came to his aid.

“It’s not JJ’s fault,” John B reassured as he stared at his parents. “He didn’t do anything wrong.”

Queen Mariah placed a hand on her son’s shoulder. “We’re not saying he did. JJ, honey, what happened?” Call it mother’s instinct, but she could tell each of the people in front of her was upset and although she was worried, she wasn’t about to tear them down more.

“We were out at the stables. She wanted to go riding today, so I was getting everything ready while she changed. I stepped away to ask for water for us to take and when I came back, she was gone,” JJ retold the story that had continuously flashed through his mind as he considered the possibilities at hand of what could’ve happened to you.

“Okay.” John B watched as his dad let out a deep breath, his mind no doubt running a million miles an hour. “I’m dismissing you guys from your duties until further notice. You can’t be working in a mindset like this. I’m going to round the guard up and inform them of what has happened. JJ,” He set a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. We’re gonna bring her home.”

--

The concept of time was unknown as you spent hours upon hours locked up in the small room. You weren’t sure how long you had been here, but Rafe had eventually returned to free your wrists from behind you which allowed you to roam the area you were given. Water was limited, food was almost invisible on a day to day basis, and you were beginning to fear that you wouldn’t survive much longer.

Your heart ached as you thought of the people back home. JJ would no doubt be tearing himself to pieces over what had happened. Kiara would try to keep everyone’s heads up while Pope tried to find any clues or hints as to where you were. You never knew what to expect from your brother. He would obviously be concerned and worried, but he tended to observe and offer suggestions to others instead of conducting his own search. Rest assured, the whole palace would be looking for you.

Bruises and scabbed over cuts littered your skin thanks to Rafe’s misplaced aggression. Topper himself had gotten a few good licks in, the boys have zero regret for their injuries they inflicted on you. You were slowly becoming a shell of the person you used to be from their harsh words and unforgivable hands.

The sound of the door creaking open had you flinching in fear as you backed against the wall as far as possible and pulled your knees to your chest. You craved JJ’s soft, loving touch on your skin. He always knew what to do and how to hold you. He just had a sixth sense when it came to you. It was like he knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes.

“Y/N?”

You looked up at the quiet, femine voice that drastically contrasted the rough, deep ones you had become used to hearing. You came face to face with your brother’s girlfriend, Princess Sarah Cameron.

“Sarah!” You held back tears as you rushed to hug her tightly, craving a gentle, friendly touch. She hugged you tightly in shock that you were actually in front of her. She had no idea that you were missing, as she hadn’t been able to see John B due to a busy schedule these past few days.

“What is going on?” Sarah asked once she pulled away, her arms rested on your forearms as she held you at arm’s length. “Y/N, what happened to you?”

You shook your head as tears fell from your eyes. “I can’t believe you found me.”

She sat down on the small bed, motioning for you to do the same as she continued to observe your weak, broken state. “Found you? I didn’t even know you were missing. I… Y/N, who brought you here?”

“Rafe and Topper. I was getting ready to go riding with JJ and...and they showed up and the next thing I knew, I was in here.”

“Oh, my God,” She gasped in shock at the news of this being her brother’s plan. “I knew he was up to something. He’s been so harsh and snappy these past few days and I got suspicious so I followed him yesterday and saw him come down here. I had no idea, Y/N, I’m so sorry.” She hugged you again, letting you cry into her shoulder.

“You have to tell John B,” You cried as you let her hold you close, craving the physical comfort. “Sarah, I can’t do this much longer.”

She nodded as tears of her own started falling from her cheeks. “I will. I will. I’ll go right after this. I-I can’t let you out right now, Rafe was just up the stairs and he’ll know. But I promise I’ll bring you some food and water when I get back, okay? I promise.”

“Here.” You sat up and unclipped the necklace from your neck before setting it in her palm. “Give it to JB, tell him to give it to JJ, so they know I’m okay.”

Sarah gave you a sympathetic look before nodding and slipping out of the room as quietly as possible. You let out a small sob at the thought of being alone again, but with the necklace grasped tightly in Sarah’s palm, you knew you would be out of here soon.

--

It had taken a lot of convincing, but Kiara and Pope had managed to get JJ to fall asleep in your bed for the first time since you had left. He was beyond exhausted but didn’t want to give up in his search to find you. Their hearts broke as they watched him cry until his breath evened out and his eyes dried for the first time in days. They had never seen strong, tough JJ Maybank fall apart like this in all the years they’ve known him, and it hurt to watch knowing they couldn’t stop it.

“I figured it out,” John B announced as he pulled Kiara and Pope into the hallway. “I’ve set up a meeting with Sarah. It’ll be hard, considering I’m on literal lockdown while Mom and Dad want to keep everything under the radar and limit it to palace official awareness, but the more eyes we have out the better. Sarah might know something we don’t.”

Pope nodded in agreement. “That’s actually a good idea. When are you going?”

“Now,” John B rushed out before he glanced around the doorframe to see JJ asleep in your bed. “Don’t wake him up, don’t let him know where I went, don’t tell him anything. He’s already worried enough.”

“Aye-aye, captain.”

John B practically sprinted across the grass with a cap on his head and a large coat covering his body as he tried to hide his face. It was a challenge to get out of the palace now that everyone inside knew you were missing. They feared another royal could be taken any second and were taking every crazy precaution to ensure it didn’t happen.

“There you are,” Sarah called out as soon as she saw the boy approaching. She was playing with the necklace in her hand, a heavy feeling in her chest since she spoke to you.

The prince didn’t give her any time to talk and quickly began explaining. “Y/N’s missing. Someone took her a-and we don’t know what-”

“I know,” Sarah cut him off as she grabbed his arm lightly. “Rafe and Topper did. They shoved her in the old dungeon bedrooms. John B, I’m worried. I-I don’t think they’re feeding her much if at all and she just looks so small.”

“You saw her?” He choked on his words as gravity started to weigh him down. You were his little sister, one of his biggest priorities in life, and you really had been taken. Who knows what Rafe had done since he got you into his grasp. “You-You talked to her?”

Sarah nodded and held up the necklace to place in his palm. “She said to give this to JJ. I promise I’d take her back some food and water when I came back from meeting you. We’ll get her out, okay? We will.”

John B’s emotions finally got the best of him when he returned to the palace that night. He didn’t bother stopping to grab dinner and instead headed straight towards your bedroom where he hoped JJ was still sleeping. Opening the door, the blond was actually awake and blankly staring at the ceiling as he held your favorite blanket in his hand.

“JJ, give it back!” You whined as he held your fluffy gray blanket above his head and completely out of your reach.

“Oh, I’m sorry? Is this yours?” He lowered it for less than a second before holding it higher than before. “Come and get it, princess.”

You pouted as you tried to jump and grab the fabric from his hands but came up short. An idea popped in your mind as you moved forward, your fingers attacking his sides quickly as you tickled him.

“Stop!” JJ laughed as he brought his arms down to protect himself, finally giving you access to snag your beloved blanket back. You screamed as he jumped on you, both of you colliding with the mattress as he hugged you against him. “Why’s that your favorite anyway? You have so many big, soft blankets.”

Your cheeks went pink at his question as you pulled the blanket tighter between you. “Because it’s the one I always spray your cologne on when you’re not looking.”

“No wonder I keep going through that stuff like crazy! You little sneak!”

JJ finally rolled over to face his friend, eyes still red and puffy from his nonstop crying throughout the day. “Hey,” He greeted as he pushed himself up to sit. “Everything okay?”

“I… Sarah told me to give this to you.” John B was holding back his own tears as he placed the necklace in JJ’s palm. He sat down, no longer trusting his knees to support him. “Rafe took her, J. We have to make a plan and get her out of there.”

JJ looked at the jewelry in his hand, instantly noticing his birthstone on the dainty J necklace you always wore around your neck. Closing his fingers around it, he squeezed his palm tightly and pressed his lips against the object in hopes that miles away, you could feel his presence. “We’re coming, princess. I promise.”

-- 

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[femmeharringrove]

we belong - chapter one

tag squad!! - @a-magey​ @harringrovetrashh​ @lostnoise​ @greyspilot​ - if you’d like to be added to the list hmu!!

     Steve Harrington is arguably the strangest beta in Hawkins. Everybody agrees on this one fact. In a town comprised mostly of betas, it’s easy to notice when one is different, and Steve’s behavior has him sticking out like a sore thumb. He’s got plenty of normal beta characteristics, sure. He’s an excellent peacemaker, a level-headed thinker most of the time. But he’s incredibly fiery when he wants to be, aggressively protective, like an alpha hovering over his pack. He’s also adopted six older pups out of the blue, and the rest of Hawkins has watched in utter confusion as he’s marched about town herding his kids along like an omega watching over his litter.

     Billy Hargrove isn’t sure what to make of it.

( read on ao3 )

     And it’s not like he usually spends his time thinking about the brunette’s habits, not outside of the night the other started swinging fists in an attempt to protect Max and her dipshit friends from his rage, but he’s had plenty of time to think lately. He’s had nothing but time in this stupid hospital, with its stupid walls and stupid sterile smell. Once he gets out, he’s determined to never step foot in this place again. Max has been visiting every day, according to the nurses, and her company makes it bearable at best. She actually spent the first three nights sleeping in the waiting room with Harrington of all people.

     Harrington, who, according to Max herself, was admitted into the hospital the night of the mall incident too. Billy just barely remembers seeing the beta there that night; his face littered with bruises and oddly bloody. Max didn’t know what exactly happened, Steve and Dustin won’t tell anyone about it, but from what she gathered the Soviet Union was involved. Billy doesn’t think about that too much – he’s more interested in the way Steve’s been at the hospital every single day with Max, as long as he’s been conscious to see it.

     The nurses say Steve’s been with her ever since he was discharged, coming in every day and comforting her whenever she gets upset. He’s seen the beta do it too, the way he opens his arms up the moment Max’s lip begins to wobble and holds her close until she’s calmed, petting her hair and murmuring in her ear something he can never hear.

     Sometimes he brings little Byers with him, and the kid’s nice. Billy likes him. The first time the pup came to visit, he sat right next to the scowling alpha and told him that he got it, he’d been there before, and if he ever wanted to talk about it he’d listen. At the time, Billy snapped about not needin’ to talk to some pup about any damn thing, but that didn’t deter the kid, and now the blonde was thinking he just may take the kid up on the offer. Every time Will comes, he sits by Billy for a few minutes and makes easy conversation before retreating to Harrington and plastering himself to the beta’s side so Max can be close to Billy, piping up to add to the conversation every now and again.

     Other times, instead of Byers, Steve brings the Henderson kid. This one’s loud and pushy, but it’s clear to Billy that this is Harrington’s pup. Steve looks at the curly-haired bastard with all the fond pride of a pleased parent, even when he’s trying to scold the pup. And the kid’s smart, he knows Steve would be hard pressed to actually get mad at him, but it seems he doesn’t really want to make the beta mad anyway – the bond between them goes both ways, that much is clear. They make an odd pair; Harrington’s on the quiet side, more reserved than the pup. Henderson can’t seem to stay quiet longer than two minutes, and he likes saying whatever comes to mind, almost painfully blunt in his mannerisms. Billy has to admire that a little bit, even if it irks him at times.

     Harrington brings the others too, sometimes, but for the most part it’s Max, Dustin, and Will. El will occasionally tag along, quiet and observant, her large eyes filled with kind understanding every time she looked at him, and Sinclair came by once to keep Max company. The kid’s still wary of him, and the alpha can’t really blame him, not in the slightest. Billy supposes he owes the kid an apology. He’s not good at those, but he’ll spit one out sooner or later. He owes a lot of people apologies – Max, all of her little friends, even Steve. Steve’s promises to be the hardest, because the guy’s got this obnoxious habit of being unbearably kind even when Billy’s a dick. Every day he’s come into this hospital he’s offered a gentle smile, a kind greeting, and brings him books to help ward off boredom when he’s on his own. Last week, the beta brought a bag full of yarn and sat there for a good half hour showing him how to crochet and knit. Billy, of course, bitched about it the whole time, because what alpha willingly learned that shit anyway?

     And, hey, if he now has a scarf in the works hiding in that stupid bag, who’s going to say anything about it?

     The answer is Neil, he knows. Neil would kick his ass if he saw the way Billy’s fingers nimbly dance with those needles, regardless of whether his son is sitting in a hospital bed or not. But the nice thing, if it can be called nice, is that Neil Hargrove hasn’t shown his face once in the hospital. Max told him that he came the night Billy was admitted, stayed until the blonde got out of the barrage of surgeries he’d underwent, and promptly left. And yeah, it’s sucky, but Billy supposes it’s for the best. Neil can drain a room of warmth faster than anything, and Billy’s uncomfortable already. And if he came and found Steve sitting there, the chances of being called a fucking fairy were higher than he’d like them to be, as well as the chances of getting the shit beat out of him. Sure, he supposes he can just tell Harrington to go, but the thing is the beta’s good at making the cold hospital room feel a smidge warmer. Billy isn’t sure he wants to willingly force that warmth out for anyone, let alone his father.

     Which is why Billy’s mad at him. It’d be easy if Steve was cruel to him, but the doe-eyed brunette is surprisingly soft. He’s got his edges, his eyes flash with a certain element of danger every now and again, but he’s overwhelmingly made of soft lines and gentle corners. And Billy isn’t sure how to respond to that most of the time. Today, however, crossing his arms as he stares at the beta and his redhead sister, he knows just the answer to give to Steve’s kindness.

     “Absolutely the fuck not.” Max’s sharp blue eyes are wide as she glares at Billy, unimpressed with the alpha’s stony expression.

     “Why not?” she demands. “Bill, you know you can’t come back home, it’s not a good idea for your recovery. Steve’s house is huge, you could avoid him all you wanted!” Her eyes flicker towards the man next to her, features softening for a brief moment. “No offense, Steve.” Steve smiles faintly in reply, hands raising up slightly.

     “None taken.” Billy rolls his eyes, lips pressing into a thin line.

     “Look, I’m not going to live with your stupid babysitter, Maxine.” His voice is a nasty growl, mean and sharp and fully intended to stop this conversation, but Max isn’t that easy to put off.

     “Can you stop being so stubborn?” she growls right back, arms crossing over her chest and teeth baring in a snarl almost identical to his. “I’m just trying to keep an eye on you, you dumbass, because I don’t want you to end up getting worse, and we both know you’re not gonna be able to recover all the way at home!” She’s so goddamn fiery, Billy gripes internally. She’s learned that from him, however, so he hardly has a right to say anything. If he has to put money on it, he’s almost completely convinced this kid’s going to be an alpha. Neil isn’t going to like that, and the idea sends a flash of worry through the blonde for a fraction of a moment.

     “And, what, you think I’ll do better with him?” His head jabs sharply towards the other man. “I’ll try my luck in my own damn house, thanks.”

     “Billy, please!” Max’s lighter blue eyes clash with his ocean hues, her face pinched and far too serious for any fourteen-year-old. “Look, I get it. You and Steve aren’t friends or whatever, but he said he’d let you stay – not live there, you don’t have to move in forever.” Max’s reasoning isn’t half bad, Billy has to admit. Her hands grasp at one another as she presses on, words tumbling over each other in their haste to escape her lips. “It’s just for a little while, just until you finish recovering, then you can come home. Just think about it!”

     “And you think my absence won’t be noticed?” he interrogates. Because Neil certainly isn’t going to react well to something like this. If the man finds out he’s staying with another boy, it’s going to lead to trouble for him and for Harrington. Max waves her hand frantically.

     “We’ll just tell him you’re still in the hospital! He won’t check, you and I both know that.” And she’s right, he does know it. Neil hasn’t so much as called, the chances of him deciding to do so anytime soon are slim to none. His sister’s eyes are staring at him wide and hopeful, and Billy’s too tired to fight her on the matter any further.

     “Don’t you and your stupid friends spend, like, all your time at his house?” he asks, shoulders dropping slightly. Max sees the move for what it is and grins broadly.

     “Well, yeah, but we won’t bother you! Promise.” Her promise isn’t worth shit, they both know it, and judging from Harrington’s knowing look, so does he. Billy’s icy eyes settle on the man.

     “You’re awful quiet over there,” he grumbles. Steve’s shoulders rise and fall in a loose shrug.

     “I wouldn’t have agreed to do it if I didn’t want to,” he replies. “It’s like Max said, we aren’t friends or anything, but she’s convinced you’ll get better faster at my place. If it means that much to her, then I’m game.” Billy’s eyes narrow as they consider Steve. Brown eyes blink back at him, wide and surprisingly kind all things considered. He really hates that. He hates that Max is so worried. He hates most of all that this is his best bet in all truthfulness. A heavy sigh escapes him, turning into a defeated groan as it draws out.

     “This is only until I think I’m better,” he relents, scowling at Steve’s relieved look and Max’s elated bounce. “I don’t give a shit what the two of you think, when I think I’m done, I’m done. And don’t think we –“ A hand shoots out to point at Steve warningly. “ – are gonna get chummy or something. I’m only doing this to get her to shut up.” The beta’s shoulders relax as he leans into his seat. Max, standing beside Harrington, grins broadly.

     “And I promise, I won’t say anything about it,” she relents. “You can come home as soon as you’re better again.” She moves closer to him, wraps her smaller hand around his, and squeezes, a hesitant smile on her face. This is another new thing about their relationship, the ease with which Max shows her affection now. Billy supposes that’s what happens when you almost die. And he likes it, really. Even if he’s been shit at showing it over the years, he does care for Max. He’s protected her from Neil for a long time, and she’s patched him up more times than he’s willing to count. Their dynamic has always been a strained one. But the way Billy’s seen it, his dad’s a bad alpha, and he’s always needed to step up and take that position for the pup.

He’s not sure he’s ever been particularly good at it, but he’s trying, you know?

     And so it’s settled that day. Billy’s going to move in with his high school rival, and he can’t make sense of it for the life of him.

     The thing is, Steve’s not really used to the idea of having a pack. Richard Harrington needed an heir for his company, and Antonella Bianchi-Harrington thought a baby would solve her marriage problems; that was the only reason they’d had a pup. Both had planned on a quiet, strong alpha son, but Steve destroyed that concept the moment he was born; of all the dynamics, only omegas could be spotted at birth due to their genitalia, and when Richard saw what his son was he nearly abandoned him in that hospital. Antonella’s maternal instincts demanded they keep him however, and so he was brought home; that was where her mothering ended, essentially. Growing up, Steve didn’t know that was the cause for his parents’ distaste for him. He knew they despised omegas, but he hardly knew what an omega was, and certainly didn’t know he was a part of that group. All he knew was that his father always looked at him with disgust, that his mother avoided him like the plague, that they never talked about dynamics except when Richard felt like sneering about omegas and boasting about alphas.

     Neither of them were home when a thirteen-year-old Steve woke up drenched in sweat, his leaking slick soaking the mattress, his abdomen cramping and his mind panicked and hazy. He suffered three days in that state, cried and curled up in bed trying to comfort himself. On the fourth day, he made his way to Melvad’s to purchase scent blockers, and that’s how he’s lived life up to this point. That day he presented was the day it clicked, the day he’d realized why his parents despised him.

     And the thing was, he couldn’t blame them, still can’t blame them. Male omegas are a rarity, and many people think of them as abominations. Those who ended up with women are seen as unmanly, and those who end up with men are called names Steve wouldn’t dare repeat in his own head, let alone out loud. Steve knew that before he presented, and he knows it now, so he’s kept his presentation a secret. As far as Hawkins is concerned, he’s just a beta, and he’s not planning on telling anyone otherwise anytime soon.

     But he’s got the kids now.

It was a matter of instinct; Dustin needed help, and so he helped. Max feared Billy’s rage in the Byers’ home, so he fought the alpha. Mike wanted a listening ear to rant about Nancy too, so he began letting the kid come over. He never meant to adopt the gaggle of older pups, but here he is, constantly scenting them and making sure they’re safe and comfortable. Will likes to joke that Steve’s become their pack omega. He’s not entirely wrong, but Steve’s not going to tell him that.

     And it’s the first time he’s been allowed to be himself, really. With the kids, Steve can just be an omega, he can worry over them and fuss and feed them copious amounts of baked ziti. Steve can let them curl up on his chest and groom their hairlines and listen to their troubles. He can mother them about and spoil them to his heart’s content. He’s allowed to give in to his instinctive need to nurture and care for and protect, and he’s beyond grateful because he can’t do this for other people.

     He especially can’t do it for Billy fucking Hargrove, if he wants to keep some sense of dignity. And that’s going to be easier said than done. He sits in his Beamer and watches silently as Max guides the familiar blonde out of the hospital doors. He looks good, Steve decides. He’s got a little limp, looks a little stiff, but he’s moving on his own mostly, and judging from the faint noise Steve hears and the annoyed, faraway look on Max’s face, his talkative attitude hasn’t taken a hit. The omega takes a deep breath and prepares himself as the passenger door is yanked open by Max.

     “ – Which is why I’m half-tempted to write to one of those big-time newspapers and tell them all about this shit,” Billy is ranting. Max looks ready to stab someone.

     “Can you shut up and get in the car, please?” she growls. The elder of the two alphas obeys without much of a fuss, easing himself into the passenger seat while Max deposits herself in the back.

     “Hey, what did those fuckers do with my Camaro?” Billy questions, his sharp eyes landing on Steve with an accusatory look. “You totaled my baby, Harrington, you might owe me a new fucking car.”

     “I’m not buying anyone a car,” Steve replies, throwing his car in reverse and backing out of the parking lot. The Camaro is sitting in Hopper’s driveway at the moment, Steve asked the chief to help him fix it after the mall incident, after learning that the other boy was still alive. The keys are sitting in a dish in his kitchen right now. But Steve’s not handing that thing over until he’s sure the blonde is capable of driving without keeling over and dying on the side of the road. Billy makes a face at him, narrowing his eyes.

     “Well, you at least owe me a pack of smokes, amigo,” he drawls, that stupid smug look creeping over his freckled features. Steve makes an indignant sound.

     “Are you fucking insane, Hargrove?” he spats. “You’ve been in how many lung surgeries and you want to smoke? Absolutely fucking not.”

     “Aw, you’re no fun,” the alpha groans, slouching in his seat and reaching out to lazily flick the radio to life. Steve’s eyes drift off the road long enough to glare at the other boy.

     “Stop complaining and put your damn seatbelt on.” Billy growls, but obeys again, switching the station to some garish rock music and turning it up loudly. Steve’s head is beginning to throb.

     “Hey Steve,” Max pipes up, “can we stop by McDonald’s?” He notes with interest the way Billy perks up at the mention of the restaurant. It’s been months since the guy’s eaten anything outside of the hospital’s shitty cuisine, he supposes greasy fast food sounds as good as a five-course meal in his grandmother's Venetian home right now.

     “Yeah, yeah, alright.” Billy’s master plan must be to drive Harrington crazy, because he begins chanting various menu items like a child as Steve zips down the road.

     To Billy’s credit, if that’s his plan then it’s working. Steve’s considering driving into the next tree he sees.

     He dishes out a stupid amount of money at McDonald’s; Billy demands four burgers, a hefty order of fries, and a huge milkshake. Max settles for one burger, and Steve orders chicken nuggets for himself, much to Billy’s amusement. He teases Steve most of the way home. The brunette throws a nugget at him at some point and Max laughs so hard she chokes on her root beer. Billy is blissfully silent after that, though he grins triumphantly as he chomps on the thrown piece of chicken.

     In a stunning turn of events, today is meant to be a kid-free day. Steve drops Max off at the Byers residence on the way home and cruises on into Loch Nora. Billy’s silence comes to an end with a low whistle. “Damn, pretty boy, I forgot you live in Rich People Central,” he muses. “I’m gonna get so bored around here, everyone knows rich people are stuck up as all hell.” Steve doesn’t feel like dignifying that with a reply, his hands flexing around the steering wheel instead. By the time they pull into the driveway of the Harrington family’s ridiculously large house, Billy’s openly staring at him, and the omega finds himself on edge. He slows to a stop in his long driveway, turns off the engine, and turns to meet that blue-eyed stare, his eyebrows arched upwards. Billy’s eyes are completely unreadable, he hates it.

     “Do you want a picture, Hargrove?” he deadpans. The alpha skips over the question and instead offers his own.

     “Shitbird says you’re here alone most of the time, that true?” Steve’s hackles go up faster than anything, his arms crossing over his chest as he glares openly at the boy across from him.

     “Why the fuck do you care?”

     “Never said I did, Harrington.” Billy holds his hands up in a placating gesture, before settling back in his seat. “Just wanna make sure I don’t wander into the kitchen one morning with my dick out and find Misses Harrington trying to enjoy her coffee or something.” Steve scoffs and rolls his eyes, getting a cheeky grin in response.

     “If I have to wake up and see your dick in the morning when I’m drinking coffee I’m kicking you out, Steve announces, getting out of the car. He hears Billy follow him up to the door, and once the two get in the shorter boy whistles again.

     “Your house feels like a fucking museum, Harrington, you really live in here?” Steve makes a beeline for the kitchen.

     “Yes, I do. And you do too, for the time being.” The brunette yanks the fridge open and grabs a bottle of soda off the shelf. “I let Max bring some clothes and shit over the other day, it’s all in the guest room down the hall on the right.” Steve pauses to give the boy a pointed look. “Do not go into the room on the left, nobody goes in there.”

     “Ooh, sounds ominous. What’s in there, all the Harrington family secrets? Family skeletons? Real skeletons?” Billy’s eyebrows waggle obnoxiously, and Steve rolls his eyes with a long-suffering sigh.

     “No, it’s my dad’s office. Nobody goes in there but him. And it’s where the good booze is, and I don’t need you drinking me dry.” Steve already did that a little over a month ago, nearly got alcohol poisoning during a bad night. hopper found him passed out by the pool and took the omega to Indianapolis to buy replacements; he doesn't think the chief will be too keen about helping out again so soon. To his surprise, Billy doesn’t offer any sort of reply, oddly silent behind him. Steve turns around, another soda bottle in hand to offer to the alpha, and finds him staring at the counter. At the dish on the counter. At the keys in the dish on the counter. The omega moves closer and swipes them up, depositing the metal in his back pocket. “You can’t drive yet, don’t even think about it.”

     “You have my car?” Blue eyes look around as if the Camaro might appear right there in the kitchen. Steve shakes his head, then nods, then shakes again.

     “It’s not here, if that’s what you’re asking.”

     “It was fucked to hell, why do you have the keys?” Billy’s face is completely serious now, his body leaning towards Steve’s intently. The taller boy frowns deeply and takes a step back, his eyes shifting away.

     “I, uh, well. Hopper and I fixed it up. Figured you might want it back. We had to repaint it, I don’t think the color’s exactly right, but it’s working now.” Billy’s eyes stare a little longer.

     “Why’d you put me in the room downstairs?” Steve frowns again, brows furrowing in confusion.

     “You’ve still got stitches in, and Max says the doctors said you shouldn’t go up and down stairs.” Large brown eyes blink at the alpha, who seems to be thinking hard about something, before Billy’s face twists into a sneer.

     “What’s your game, Harrington? Why are you doing this?” Steve hasn’t been this confused since high school math.

     “You needed a place to go, and I’ve got space,” he replies slowly. “It means a lot to Max, and if it matters to her it matters to me. Just wanted to be helpful.” Blue eyes narrow and he stares at Steve for a long time. The omega shifts on his feet awkwardly before finally holding out the unopened soda bottle. “You thirsty?”

     It’s meant to diffuse the odd tension, and it works. Billy blinks, looks between Steve’s face and the soda bottle before he shakes his head and takes the offered drink, all smug charm and general obnoxious snarkiness again.

     “Alright, alright. Gimmie the grand tour, pretty boy. I wanna see as much of the Harrington Mansion Museum as I can.” Steve isn’t quite sure what just happened, but he obliges easily and begins making his way down the hall, shaking his head in wonder. Maybe he sould have thought a little harder about letting his old rival stay in his house; this is already beginning to feel like the beginning of a very chaotic nightmare.

[bonesgadh]

My thoughts on the final season of Orange is the New Black:

Obviously, some heavy spoilers below:

If you ask me, Piper’s storyline outside Litchfield was, for the most part, a complete waste of time. Instead of having her getting stoned with her brother or going to that pointless retreat, why didn’t they have her doing something productive like helping other former inmates or writing her book?

Speaking of the book, I’m high-key disappointed they gave the memoir storyline to Judy fucking King. Call me cheesy but I was looking forward to the show ending with Piper writing her book just like she said she would in season 6. Such a missed opportunity.

I really, really wanted Taystee to be cleared of Piscatella’s murder. I don’t understand why they gave so much importance to Suzanne writting what really happened and Taystee showing the text to her lawyer if it wasn’t going to make a difference in the end. Chekhov’s gun, anyone?

I’m so relieved she didn’t kill herself. I guess as long as there’s life there’s hope fucking Cindy will confess the truth and justice will be served. In the meantime, I was happy Taystee found a new meaning to her life and decided to help other inmates have a better shot at rebuilding their lives after prison.

Daddy’s death caught me by surprise. That said, I didn’t notice her absence at all for the reminder of the season. I guess she was a one-hit wonder character.

I have the feeling they had no idea what to do with Frieda so they just had her do weird stuff like accumulating trash. 

Thank Christ they got rid of Badison so early in the season. Cringiest, most annoying character in the history of television.

Aleida is so stupid lmao. I get she wanted to protect her daughter from that pedophile but she fucked up. I was rooting for her to rebuild her life and I was disappointed at her.

I liked Suzanne coming to terms with her sentence and being more comfortable around people and making new friends. It’s what she deserves.

Why is Cesar out of jail? Didn’t Aleida say he was supposed to stay there until he was an old man?

So Yadriel isn’t Pepa’s biological father?

Shani, man. Her relationship with Nicky was so cute and you could tell she was different from Nicky’s other flings. She didn’t act like a stallion around her, she was sweet and considerate with her and her backstory was very sad. I’m pissed they weren’t endgame because they made such a good couple.

There was no need to kill off Lorna’s baby. That was unnecessary roughness.

What happened to Maritza left me devastated. That final sequence of her getting into the plane and all the other women who were deported as well slowly disappearing until there was no one left gave me fucking chills. It was tough to watch but it had to be done to make a point of how a good portion of the immigrants who get deported are young adults who have never lived anywhere else besides the US, but still they are not considered citizens.

I absolutely adore Fig. Her character development was one of the best in the show. Also I LOVE HER RELATIONSHIP WITH CAPUTO OMG.

Piper’s sister-in-law is annoying af. I bet she is one of those anti-vaccinations freaks.

Alex looked so damn hot in her flashback oh my god. 

Goodall is adorable! For real, what a gorgeous baby.

I was not expecting CO Fischer to make a comeback.

Healy is still a piece of shit.

I can understand why Piper developed feelings for Zelda. She represented the potential life she could lead now that she was a free woman, the opportunity to start over and leave prison behind (like Sophia advised her to). However, there wasn’t anything exciting about being with her, it was way too safe and that’s the exact opposite of what she had with Alex. 

Polly is even more annoying than she was before but Larry didn’t get on my nerves this time around, which surprised me. Maybe because his little prep talk is what pushed Piper to follow Alex to Ohio or maybe it was the nostalgia. Idk, but they brought him back in a nice way.

I felt really bad for Vinnie. He wasn’t only grieving for his son but he also had to see Lorna fall into that complete state of denial.

Sophia’s comeback was everything. She looked like a goddess and she seemed so happy and in control of her life. I thought we wouldn’t see her again after she got released from prison but I’m glad they managed to bring her back even for a couple of scenes.

Totally random statement but Piper looked very attractive at the benefit gala and the morning after. I don’t know if it was the hair or the way they did her eyes but she was smoking hot.

Danielle Brooks is the best actress in the show. Don’t @ me.

McCullough is the archetype of the psycho ex. I legit thought she was going to shoot Piper when she confronted her at her house.

Alex knows Piper so damn well. She is aware of the fact that Piper tends to run away from stuff when things get complicated and her choosing to have an affair with McCullough was her way to try to protect herself. Then again, I really thought they had moved on from that phase. 

Fig lying about being pregnant to help that woman get an abortion was such a strong moment. Also her calling out the double-standard of the guard who was opposed to the woman aborting but wanted her to get deported? Legends only.

Lorna is such a racist but I can’t bring myself to dislike her. If anything I’ve always felt a bit sorry for her.

Linda is such a bitch.

Tamika was the only warden who actually cared about making a difference. I’m sad she got fired because of something that wasn’t even her fault but her good deeds made a profound impact.

McCullough is so damn unstable but I can’t blame her for developing such strong feelings for Alex. She’s quite irresistible.

Alex acting all unattached and cold as she was breaking up with Piper was painful to watch. I knew it wasn’t real but for a hot second I thought that was it for them. 

The ICE storyline was out-of-this-world amazing. So powerful and brilliantly done, quintessential OITNB.

If you had told me six years ago I would cry like a baby with Pennsatucky’s death I would have laughed at you.

But for real, POOR PENNSATUCKY. I’m sorry she had to die for Taystee to stay alive.

Because of the ‘a fan-favorite character dies in the final episode to mark the end of the show’ trope I had the feeling they were going to kill either Red, Alex or Taystee. I was legit surprised when the final death was revealed to be Pennsatucky.

That Poussey flashback had me in tears.

Alex and Nicky’s goodbye scene was so sweet and I love they talked about eventually reuniting. They were my brotp.

What Larry told Piper when she visited him at his place was very interesting. When Piper told him she loved Alex he told her he believed her, but that he also thought she loved what Alex represented. I believe that was true at some point—well, for most of the series—and, unconsciously, Piper believed that as well. But, if anything, what they went through in season 7 helped Piper realize she did want to be with Alex. The extra limb analogy was amazing and I don’t think Jenji could have picked a better way to explain their relationship.

Hellman is the new warden? Gross.

My favorite part about the old inmates’ cameos was that they were shown doing the same stuff they did in Litchfield: Boo being tired of everyone’s bullshit, Yoga giving the mandala talk to new inmates, Gina feeling exasperated and Norma calming her down, Watson running and Alison checking her time, Angie and Leanne being stupid, Brook mooning over stuff.

I only missed two characters making a cameo: Sister Ingalls and Miss Claudette. I know most fans wanted to see Bennett again but fuck that coward.

Also wtf happened to Bayley? I kinda wanted to know.

Karla’s story broke my heart. I’m glad they included her character because her story is the story of millions of immigrants that are separated from their children, forced to return to their home countries and endure harsh conditions while trying to make their way back to the US.

Blanca really went out there and said “fuck it” to the american dream, didn’t she? In my opinion she had the best ending out of all the characters. I’m so happy she reunited with Diablo and is ready to live her life with him at last. My girl deserved it.

Maria’s storyline was so ‘meh’. It was way too similar to her season 6 storyline.

My mom Gloria had the second best ending. I was afraid they were going to punish her because of the phone thing but thankfully asshole Luschek finally did something right. I was rooting for her to have a happy ending and I’m glad she got it.

Also was that little girl living with Gloria and her kids her granddaughter? Because she was definitely younger than her sons but Gloria’s flashback stated her daughters are older, so I’m confused.

I really need to know if Aleida killed Daya. I hate it was left so open.

Flaca choosing to help immigrants was so sweet. I bet one of the reasons she did it was to stop them from suffering Maritza’s fate.

Fig and Caputo are adopting!

Cindy did not deserve a good ending after she ruined Taystee’s life. That made me so angry. I was really hoping she would confess the truth.

In the end, McCullough made Alex a favor by having her transferred to Ohio. She went back to minimum security, she was with friends and people she knew and far away from all the crap in max.

What happened to Red and Lorna was devastating. Red losing her identity and her memory was so tragic because of what a badass she was. Also I knew Lorna would lose it after her son’s death but it was heartbreaking. They deserved better.

It sucks balls Nicky lost every person who was important to her but despite that I liked her ending because, even though she suffered heartbreak after heartbreak, she found a way to keep herself sober and now she will help others the way Red helped her. It was the best way she could honor her.

Despite literally everyone around Piper advising her to leave Alex behind and forget about her (from her parole officer to her dad to Larry to Sophia) the fact that she chose to follow Alex to Ohio was a pleasant surprise to me. It showed her growth and how much she really wanted to be with Alex, and that she was not a mistake in her life but her life. I was never a Vauseman shipper but even I knew they had to be endgame, any other ending wouldn’t have made any sense. I feel bad for the shippers because it was a very tough season for them but love prevailed, so congrats.

I didn’t catch the Piper Kerman cameo until I saw someone mentioned it on twitter. That was so cool! Also I don’t know if this was intentional but I liked the visual parallel between Larry Smith & Piper and Piper Kerman & Alex. Larry waited for Piper for as long as she was in jail and never abandoned her, so I choose to believe Kenji and Co. are hinting at Piper doing the same thing for Alex.

It was a good decision to show us a glimpse of Piper’s new life. She has a stable job, a new home, she is studying about criminal law and using her time in a productive way, and also she looks happier than we ever saw her.

In conclusion, I liked the season very much. Orange is one of my favorite shows and I think they ended it in a very nice way. It was very well executed and, unlike other final seasons I have watched over the years, it never felt rushed to me. It was the best season in at least a couple of years and I’m in love with the series finale, I stand by my original statement that it is the best one I have ever seen.

I give it a solid B+, four-out-of-five stars, 8.5 out of 10.

Orange forever, indeed.

[kakitysax]

Random question: are you on the ace/aro spectrum as well? (If you don't wanna answer that's totally fine btw)

YES YES YES FINALLY SOMEONE ASK ED ME Hhhdh *sobes*

This is gonna be so long you don’t have to read all of it (update I was right it is hella long I am sorry)

Okay so uh I am ace like hella fucking ace

But what that means for me is my reproduce instinct like skipped a step so like...I don’t want to sex because hehe feel good or whatever but I DO want to combine my genetic material with the genetic material of a Worthy and Chosen Mate and produce HIGH quality offspring and if I gotta sex to do that then so be it. But also not too many children because regardless of whether or not I end up with someone I CAN make kids with (or anyone at all) I plan to adopt.

I have an aesthetic appreciation of the human body, and experience sensual attraction. But it is NOT the same as sexual attraction. The difference is that one time someone flashed me as a joke and I started having an anxiety attack, and another time someone showed me a piercing in a somewhat private location and it was really pretty. That dichotomy (um double standard for ppl who don’t know what dichotomy means) is EVERYWHERE. Person is doing sports in tight shorts? Flawless. Beautiful. The human form is breathtaking. Person is gyrating their hips in tight shorts with a lewd expression? Instant panic. Gouge my eyes out. What I mean by sensual attraction is when I love someone I want to cuddle them and rub my face against their neck and have their hands in my hair.

I am DEFINITELY on the aro spectrum but I don’t know where. Uh I definitely want to be someone’s chivalric lady knight and hold doors and give flowers and lavish love and care, but I also want to feel protected. But at the same time those are all like...ideals that never quite seem to REACH in reality, you know what I mean? Like I read hurt/comfort and I’m like “I’m so lonely” but then it happens to me irl and I’m like “VULNEROLI VULNEROLI GET ME THE FUCK-OUTTA-HERE-OLI”

So I’m desperately lonely but also loathe the reality of human connection. And also I don’t know how to differentiate between romantic and queerplatonic attraction.

I do get “crushes” on people, but I don’t know if I can call it a crush because I tried to date one of them and it was awful. It’s strange because I DID really like them, but I think it was more like affection? Or admiration of their qualities? I couldn’t get close to them. And I have a couple of people who I still feel that way about, but I realized since THAT whole fiasco that I don’t actually want to date them.

I am in love right now. I can’t tell if it’s queerplatonic or romantic, but either way it only happened because we developed a close bond beforehand. I do know it’s love, though. I would act on it, but I only realized because of the jealousy that ensued when they started dating someone else. I want to be their life buddy and get bunk beds and make them feel held, and also bitch and bicker constantly. Ugh I’m so in love. But they’re taken.

Also I cannot EVEN tell my orientation. I find all KINDS of people aesthetically pleasing, but I am more physically and emotionally comfortable with AFAB people, and am more likely to experience sensual attraction for them. However, most of my romantic/long-term-relationship fantasies feature cis men, despite the fact that I am afraid of them. I was pretty platonically attracted to a trans man for a while, but I interact with so few not-cis people (besides me) irl that I can’t give a definitive answer about it. The general rule is that I am much more comfortable GIVING affection, protection, and validation to AMAB, and RECIEVING affection, protection, and validation from AFAB. Couldn’t tell you why. And if you’re upset that it’s by AGAB and not by gender? Me too, bro. I promise I think of trans people as their respective gender, I know what it’s like to not have people respect your identity, but when it comes to physical and emotional intimacy you’d have to either pass REALLY really well or be really really close to me already in order to turn off this response in my brain. I am very sorry. It is pure instinct and fear response. I didn’t decide to feel this way and I’d change it if I could.

I am not SEXUALLY attracted to anyone (because I’m ace lmao) but would be willing to have a committed sexual relationship with someone of the opposite AGAB for the purpose of making children. The only way I could be convinced to try it with more than one person would be if Mate OG straight fucking died. I might end up in a committed relationship with someone of the same AGAB, but it would never be sexual.

So uh

That’s what’s going on.

It’s kind of moot though because first of all I can’t comprehend how someone would find my personality appealing and secondly?

Uhm I have hitherto only been able to develop close relationships and real love with and for people I can connect with intellectually

And this is going to sound so so bad and mean and awful but

I um don’t really know a lot of those...

[in-tua-deep]

While genetically the Boy and Five are the same there has to be an aspect of nature vs nurture. So how do the two differ? Does the Boy want his own name and not simply a gender or does he want a name to symbolize becoming part of a family? Do the two of them react to situations differently? I love this AU so much and I need more!

(for more commission boy au/clone five au check out the previous posts on it one, two, three, four, five)

oh absolutely they’re as different as they are similar - even identical twins raised together are different people, after all! And that’s identical genes (like Five and Boy share) and similar upbringings ;3c

they’re both traumatized in very different ways (with overlapping similarities, like both of them don’t trust strangers/adults they don’t know as they’re both used to adults only wanting to use them/cause them pain)

Five is fucked up about the apocalypse. Fucked. Up. He still has minor meltdowns over what if the apocalypse happens today despite them having stopped it. Probability maps are scrawled across the walls in whatever was closest at hand when Five’s brain went into meltdown mode

The Boy doesn’t use math as a crutch like Five does (or as a way of keeping his mind busy, or as a self soothing habit, or anything else) because he wasn’t allowed to write on,, pretty much anything. He had to give verbal reports. After Five’s whole “hide my equations and plans from the commission by writing them in secret in a book” thing, they didn’t trust the Boy with any kind of planning materials. The only reason he knows how to write is because he pretty much taught himself, tracing letters with his fingers in the dust or on steam covered mirrors tbh

(his handwriting is. atrocious. borderline illegible. he really struggles writing with a pen or pencil but can fingerpaint letters/numbers just find. it’s a work in progress and on god five is going to get his little clone as fast as five himself is at writing shit on walls)

the Boy is still a little math prodigy but he’s only done enormous mental equations, which he is very good at!! but it’s definitely limited him (so he wasn’t capable of doing the complex time equations that Five figured out)

The Boy and Five present their nerves about new situations very differently - the Boy goes small and quiet and anxious whereas Five deals with it by going on the aggressive and yelling. This is because the Boy is way more afraid of punishment/rejection than Five is and is more unsure of his position in the family and his default is “obey, do what they say regardless of how you feel just power through it or face the consequences”. 

Meanwhile Five’s default was ‘rebel, yell, bring attention to himself because if the spotlight was on him then it was off his siblings’ which is depressing in its own way. The Boy didn’t have siblings to protect, he was alone. Five himself probably wouldn’t have drawn attention to himself if there wasn’t anyone to protect, but there was and he did. He bristles like an offended cat and yells

(but tbh, Five doesn’t actually expect anyone to actually listen to him. both him and the boy learned a long, long time ago that their opinions didn’t matter to the adults, that they might as well not be saying anything at all. The Boy went quiet. Five got louder.)

The Boy is definitely more willing to embrace childish things than Five is, because Five feels he has to protect his reputation and prove that he isn’t a kid 

and if there’s some residual trauma there of children vs. adults where Five is fairly convinced that status as an adult offers him some measure of protection against people like Reginald and the Handler, there’s always that. But Five is also probably more willing to be one of “the children” if that means the Boy isn’t alone as the only child because Five’s “protect” instincts overpower his “self preservation” instincts tbh

the Boy is really enthusiastic about things when he thinks he allowed to be (so basically when he’s around Five bc he sees Five as an ally - though he’s getting better around the other siblings without five as a buffer)

his favorite movie is lilo and stitch no you can’t change my mind. it’s the movie he plays constantly as a comfort thing that he never gets tried of. If this was in the era of VHS he would have worn out the tape. Why??? because the boy points at the screen and is like “!! i’m an experiment as well!” and then watches this little blue alien find a family for himself and he’s like “it me!”

…does that make Five the Lilo in this?? possibly. Allison says that it’s more like the Boy is Lilo and Five is Stitch considering Five is the chaos gremlin between the two of them but whatever

(“This is my family. I found it, all by myself. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.”)

I keep wanting to say the Boy is more skittish than Five but that’s?? not quite true? they’re both skittish and don’t trust easily and cling to the idea of family but in different ways idk like the end goal is the same but they take very different paths to it u know what i mean?

i think the Boy probably does eventually get a different name. Maybe not a name-name since the Boy’s idea of what a name is?? is kind of skewed? like his fav character is Stitch and his brother is Five and he was raised by someone names the Handler like this kid was never gonna have a normal name let’s be real

honestly he probably ends up stuck with something like. Kiddo. Because i HIGHLY doubt the family actually calls him ‘boy’ and in absence of an actual name to call him by end up with nicknames and to differentiate him from Five “Old Man” Hargreeves they probably call him kid and kiddo

i’m thinking about differences and similarities between them again hmm

Five is definitely more assertive?? Five can read the Boy really well (and vice versa) and tends to act as the Boy’s spokesperson when the Boy isn’t comfortable or something. Usually it’s just Five cutting in abruptly like “back off idiot he wants a ham and cheese sandwich not whatever the fuck that is”

the Boy is more likely to approach an issue with violence whereas Five tends to swear and yell and threaten as a first step. Where’s that one meme?? the Boy is “stabs without warning” and Five is “warns (loudly) before stabbing” 

the Boy is arguably more deadly than Five since he’s been trained in assassination since basically infancy where Five was taught to be a hero which are arguably very different skillsets (the Boy was never taught about minimizing casualties or saving anyone rip) BUT Five is more experienced and has arguably more creativity than the Boy. 

Five is a lot more playful in his fighting because he was because when he was little, fighting was playing. That’s how Five and the other umbrella academy kids bonded - by beating the tar out of one another and outdoing each other. They showed off for each other. The Boy is more straight forward because to him, fighting is a job to get over with as soon as possible

ironically it’s five who has to teach the boy to play, and not the other way around. Jump Tag is a favorite between the two where they just zoom through the house trying to catch each other - Five is a lot better at jumping than the Boy since the Boy wasn’t permitted outside of missions and training, but he’s catching up quick (after all, Five did take a brief 45 year hiatus because his powers burned too many calories in the apocalypse, but it’s a bit like riding a bike in that he never forgot)

even so Five is NOT the person to teach others to play because his childhood was messed up as all fuck

so it’s probably claire that really teaches them how to play

Claire is a well adjusted kid whose confidence, unlike Five’s, is not faked. She has adults she knows, loves, and relies upon. She has healthy relationships with peers. She goes to public school and knows and is friendly with a lot of different people. 

So this like, 8-year-old walks in and meets her two skittish emotionally immature uncles (cousin? depends on if they consider the boy to be five’s brother or son) who don’t know fuck all about anything and is like “ah yes. i am your big sister now. i am in charge here.”

and while Five at least rails against the “big sister” charge, neither of them really protest Claire taking charge?? they’re both very willing to follow along behind her tbh neither of them are leadership material and they both know it. they’re probably both very protective of her

if claire is ever bullied god help whoever chose to pick on her bc Five is absolutely willing to maul a middleschooler and the Boy would be right behind him

well i mean. Five is a follower but he’s a little bitch about it, you know? like he’s willing to go with whatever but also if it’s a dumb idea then fuck you. So he’s confrontational with his siblings but if they were ever like “okay then five you take charge” he would be like “oh no. nuh uh. i’m not taking responsibility over all you idiots my blood pressure would go through the ROOF.”

Five loudly declares that Claire is way more sensible and sane than any of the rest of his family so she’s the only one he’ll take real orders from.

(and then Grace walks in and Five will absolutely listen to her as well and not just because the Boy is lowkey scared of Grace and Five is trying to set a good example - as much as he’s capable of setting a good example)

i feel like i’ve talked about their different issues with food, where Five hoards, is food aggressive, and will eat everything whereas the Boy is used to bland nutrition bars and sludge with everything he needs for the day so his issues are more him not knowing what the fuck anything is, being iffy about any strong tasting foods/spices, struggling with eating outside of allotted food times/getting his own food 

there’s a whole post about their differences in nightmares/how they deal with those floating out there somewhere

their fashion sense definitely differs in their own ways? The Boy accepts anything he’s given with no questions and has no style of his own where Five tends towards what Klaus calls “hobo chic” in that he discards clothes he deems not useful to survival. You won’t catch Five in ripped jeans or tight pants that restrict mobility (though admittedly tight restrictive clothing would make the Boy uncomfortable as well but he’ll wear what he’s given with no questions)

both boys struggle with capitalism in that there’s Way Too Many Options for things that are dumb. It’s really overwhelming for them both when they’re sent to the store for like, toothpaste and have to enter an aisle with a bajillion different options for one (1) whole thing

OH the Boy doesn’t shoplift. Five frequently shoplifts because his idea of possessions are “it’s in my hand or in my claimed space/room/etc. it’s mine” regardless of the passage of money whereas the Boy’s idea of possessions is “nothing belongs to me ever” and they’re still working on both of those things

they’re both kind of wary around animals because neither are used to them or know what to expect from them. Mr. Pennycrumb is a therapy dog and no one can convince me otherwise and both boys are instantly smitten with him (but they’re still kind of iffy around like. big dogs that bark. or horses. fuck horses they’re scary motherfuckers.)

the Boy doesn’t like bugs very much after living in the very sterile Commission science rooms but Five will literally pop a wolf spider in his mouth for a snack so yEAH they both have. very different perspectives on that. The Boy is absolutely horrified and the first time he witnesses this hides behind Klaus for half a day because what the FUCK FIVE while Five is unapologetic

they protect each other and support each other and figure things out together bless

it’s secretly a very wholesome au behind the horror of the commission cloning five and training a small child to be a murder machine

[lavendulaconminatio]

Years ago I ran a blog on ace discourse: @asleepingwindow As a lesbian raised in the Catholic Church, where you can be gay just don’t act on it, I knew asexual activism had nothing to do with being gay. I know an asexual gay person is the church’s fucking wet dream. I always insisted I don’t care whether people identify that way but stop trying to say you suffer as I do as a lesbian. Stop fucking invading lgbt spaces too and making them unsafe for us! But that was a losing battle. I wonder how this time period will be seen 20-30 years from an lgbt history perspective.

Anyway, besides knowing asexual gay people are the kind of gay people straight people want, I also hated this idea that seemed to be gaining popularity about people being more oppressed simply because they weren’t seen as valid. Validity didn’t mean laws meant to protect their population, or having police see your body as human and worthy of life; they merely meant existing in popular media so people see them. There was never anything deeper than that to so called asexual oppression, which I will never think is a thing. I mean asexuality is a thing but people don’t actively hate you for not having sex, that’s a fact of fucking life. My people died by the thousands in the 80s, sometimes with only lesbians to give a shit, and some straight person says their totes oppressed because they don’t want to fuck? Yeah ok. Or if there was a basis in oppression, it was often just blatant sexism and homophobia. All men say you’re a prude for not having sex, this is nothing special, Jan.

Now years later after arguing my heart out, making a master post and closing up shop, I find myself with another side blog to combat an issue that I once again feel harms lesbians and women. Instead of being more concerned about the men that berate, beat, and kill trans women, activists are literally attacking women, especially lesbians, for not validating trans people. The level of vitriol leveled at a woman for talking about her vagina is so above and beyond any hatred for the men who have murdered trans women.

Then in some perveted irony, those same deaths are propped up as reasons to shut down women talking about sexism. Meanwhile, more women than anyone can count die every day because they are female. We don’t get the luxury of our deaths being marked a hate crime. Instead it’s domestic violence, or maybe FGM gone wrong amoung the countless other things that needlessly and horrifically kill women. And I haven’t even talked about rape.

I knew the ridiculous activism of the asexual movement would have lasting consequences but I honestly never thought the concept of validity would be taken and warped so far to try and pretend biological sex doesn’t exist and that women aren’t female just to make trans women feel better about their dysphoria. I feel immense compassion for anyone with dysphoria, I have it and struggled for a long time to figure out if I was trans or a butch lesbian. There is such an immense disconnect here about the importance of validity and what real oppression looks like. Especially when you refuse to even discuss detrans people for fear it will make you seem less valid. So their struggles don’t exist to make you feel better. Once again, all about erasing females to stroke the egos of males.

This is not the biggest issue on my plate, but it’s a recent small example of tangible consequences to prejudice. The other day I was trying to refill an opioid I have a legal prescription for but the pharmacist refused because they couldn’t find it. Despite having going through this before this woman refused to look where I suggested, and I suffered in pain for 3 days before my doctor’s office was able to tell them they had it for sure. I mean this isn’t about sexism and more about ableism (though women’s pain is often discounted more, black pain even more) In that moment, I didn’t want to be validated. I didn’t want the pharmacist to know who I am, my identity, my disabilities, I wanted her to stop judging pain patients as a whole and give me my fucking legal prescription. Every single legislation and guideline that limits opioid prescriptions are born of a prejudice against addicts and a indifference to people in pain. That pharmacist didn’t give a shit about my pain, to bother even looking, because the rules made her right and I was probably an addict anyway. That is a real tangible feeling of oppression, and like I said it’s nothing compared to other examples I just didn’t want to dig up anything more upsetting.

That is how I feel about oppression. Validity matters, representation matters, but it is not the nitty gritty of what oppression is. It’s screaming at the walls, throwing your phone, because someone with the power to judge and fuck up your life, did exactly that. And worse they feel righteous for what they did because to them you’re just a “insert slur here”. And that’s just a small nonviolent and nonlethal example.

Now unlike asexuality, I know to be trans is to be oppressed and to suffer. But you cannot lift yourself up by putting others down, you will be on a tower of dominos that can fall the moment some other group does it to you. I always said trans people obviously belonged with LGB groups because obviously bigots didn’t care if a couple was two gay men or a man and non-passing trans woman. To me it spoke to a shared history and understanding. But maybe I was wrong, maybe that doesn’t exist. I think at least the one major difference now that I can definitely see is it’s ridiculous to infer female privilege by calling us cis. One thing is for sure, LGB and trans history are not as simple as I had ignorantly assumed in the past.

I don’t want to dictate what trans life is like, I don’t want deny any adult the right to transition, I don’t have any interest in misgendering, I believe there is a difference between sex and gender. But by fucking god I will not let anyone trample on my rights, call me bitch, cunt, terf, cum dumpster, deny my oppression as a female, deny my suffering, deny my reality as a female, just so You can feel better about your body. I will not sacrifice my body at the alter of your perceptions of your body.

Society loves to say otherwise, but women don’t exist to make you feel better. We don’t exist to make men feel more like a man or for trans women to feel more like a woman. We exist for our fucking selves, leave us alone! I’m not sorry if it makes you feel less of a woman because you need to address the misogyny you have been socialized into as a male. You all reek of sexism and think being trans means you magically cannot be affected by male socialization. That is some first class Bullshit. I’m a poor disabled lesbian, and none of that erases the racial bias I was taught and raised in as a white person. I always need to be willing to confront that, and it’s no different with males. Trans or cis, all of you were raised to hate women. Own it so we can fucking get past it.

Furthermore, our society only does better when we foster discourse. Disagreeing can be enraging but it’s how you learn if your own beliefs are worth keeping or discarding. It’s how you grow. Only insecure bullies feel the need to demand loyalty, stamp out dissent, and mock their opponents than actually argue. Don’t give into this intellectual dishonesty that might be easy, feel good, gain you a moment of praise, but ultimately throws women’s liberation and equality under the bus and into a raging inferno. How dare you think your right to feel valid is more important than my right to live freely and without shame as a female.

I’m very much open to good faith discourse on this topic, but do not mistake me. I have suffered for being born with a vagina, and no male will ever get to shut me up. So the next time you want to say choke on a dick, choke on your own.