#must remind myself its normal to struggle for inspiration when every day is just. wake up. worry about finding job. try to find job.

[horsegirlwarcrimes]

bury's tips to ACTUALLY combat writer's block

a lot of the time when you hear writers talk about writers block and what you can do to fight it, the advice that you hear is 'just write'

i took this to be true for a long time, and it's not the worst advice or whatever. at the end of the day anything you want to get done w writing does need to be solved by simply writing. but it took me until i was writing much more regularly to realize that actually thats nonsense

there are totally things you can do to help w writers block! ive been experiencing a bout of it recently, so i thought id share some tips partially to help out those who might read this, and partially to help myself out of that same slump

FEEDING THE MACHINE. in my experience, a lot of the time writers block is less of a blockage getting in the way of a flow of creativity and more like a machine running out of fuel. thoughts, ideas, and emotions CAN come from nowhere, but... usually they are coming from somewhere! i get my worst writers block when i am bored, under-stimulated, or stuck in my real life. try getting out into the world and doing something you don't usually do. this can be wild and exciting, or small and plain. take a different route home than usual, go for a drive somewhere cool, take yourself to a garden, bookstore, museum. if you're stuck at home try a new hobby; draw a weird picture, bake something, bird watch. this is really my top advice for myself at least, and something i have to remind myself when im despairing my own worth and dedication as a writer. you cant pour from an empty cup! you cant make something out of nothing! theres no point scraping yourself dry without trying to fill yourself back up.

FEEDING THE MACHINE... DIFFERENTLY. same principal applies here, but with what stories you are consuming. what actually got me to start writing and posting fic regularly was starting work in publishing that meant i was reading 1-2 books/manuscripts every day. they were often outside my usual reading genres, and sometimes i genuinely hated them... but they were food for the machine. the brain doesn't care if you like books about cows, the brain cares about variety and expanding its horizons. read something new and interesting! try a classic. try getting into queer classics you've never heard of if you're tired of old white men. read a murder mystery or a biography of a cool person or the history of the romance novel or frued's melancholia. try that new fantasy novel youve heard good things about. even if you only end up reading three chapters, thats still something new youre giving your brain. documentaries are also great for this if you're not feeling a new book; sit back and learn something.

CLEAN UP YOUR ENCLOSURE. humans feel yucky when we're in a yucky environment. cleaning is often exhausting and annoying and it sucks, but so is sitting in an environment that makes you feel bad. try clearing off your desk or table. set something nice you like nearby! choose a sunny spot to work in.

TALK YOUR IDEAS OUT. i really struggle with this one, because i dont like bothering people and im really embarrassed about my ideas, especially in the planning stage. it can really help though! try talking to yourself in the shower like you're being interviewed about your work. try going on some chat site, find a stranger to talk to, and infodump until they leave (or stay and you've made a new friend!). ask around for someone who wants to chat ideas; you can share yours, they can share theirs. if you have a loved one who would listen, ask if they would sit down for 45 minutes and let you talk.

LIMIT DISTRACTIONS. this one also sucks but yknow. turn on forest: stay focused. close discord. ask your dog politely to stop barking. get off tumblr and stop writing advice posts about writers block. turn on some ambient music and rain noises or chappell roan's red wine supernova on loop.

may add to this later as i think of others, but the point here is that writer's block isn't laziness and, even if you do in the end just need to write, there are ways to uplift yourself and make doing so more pleasant. these also dont fully apply to what i think the actual cause is of what we often call 'writer's block,' which is just exhaustion and lack of free time; i wouldn't consider that in itself writer's block. these tips are more for when you have that time, or you're making it, but you just cant seem to make it happen.

[sweet-little-bird-fanfic]

YOUNG K - Pure Desire

Masterlist & Chapters: Check my bio for the masterlist link.

Summary: A young writer that’s struggling with her work until she crosses paths with an intense and fated new type of inspiration; An inspiration called: YOUNG K!

Genre: Fanfic; Romance; Not as smutty as the precious chapters but still hot (っ˘ڡ˘ς)

Warnings: Swearing?

Chapter 8 – Burning Feelings

 Young K

“Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?” I thought to myself the whole day whilst trying to stop thinking about her, it was like I was intoxicated and drowning in her. Her lips, her gentle caresses, her touch… I wished she was touching me, I missed her and I wished she was next to me. But she wasn’t. I was at work and I should be focusing on the tracks for the next album, instead of thinking about how precious and burning hot she looked like when she was sucking me off. Exactly, I should definitely be absorbed in work and not be thinking about hot showers or the fact that I almost said I loved her. “What the F-U-C-K. Get a grip.” Yes, I decided to ignore that last subject and disguised it with all the lusty excuses I could find. That was something that wasn’t hard to do since I had a lot of those on my disposable.

Usually, the studio was really loud and there was a lot of movement, but not today. Today, I was alone with my thoughts while Sungjin and Wonpil went to help some trainees, Jae was busy recording some crazy video of his and Dowoon was practising non-stop.  

I looked down at my notebook and all I saw was a blank paper filled with distraction and unproductivity. As I leaned my head back on the chair, I felt my back cracking and stretching to the right place whilst my stomach decided to become louder than my tangled thoughts for once. I looked at my phone to check the time and I decided it was late enough to call it a day.

In one of our million exchanged text messages, Violet had mentioned a food stand near the JYP building that she was addicted to, she told me she would go there every time when she had to meet her brothers near their working hours. “Waiting for them to finish work with an empty stomach is torture! Plus, that lady cooks tteokbokki like no one else! She’s the best”, since she texted me that I’ve been curious to check it. And what a better way to stop thinking about her, other than going somewhere she loves? Great idea. So, I gathered my things and went to meet Dowoon before leaving.

When I opened the door of the practice room, I saw our cutie maknae sweating and lost in his beats.

- Hey there, are you hungry? – I asked him looking for some company to share a meal.

- Oh, I’ve just eaten a snack. I’m really feeling it, right now! – Dowoon said as he jumped around on his seat and made some sweat drops fly around from his hair.

- Alright! You keep it up. I’m going to head out and get something to eat. When the others get done, go home with them. I’m going to walk around for a bit.

Dowoon nodded and gave me a kind smile as if he understood I needed some alone time before I left the room. The point wasn’t that I needed to relax and be alone, I desperately wanted some alone time, yes, but with Violet. But that was not going to happen.

I faced the chilly weather and wondered down the busy street of the city. It was filled with delicious warm fragrances which were provoking my stomach and making me drool. To console myself and to stop the torture, I stopped at the “precious food stand” she adored so much to eat some tteokbokki. The lady served me a very generous portion, probably even too generous, she was really nice indeed, just like Violet had previously described. Her kind smile warmed my heart as it made me feel somehow closer to Violet. When I paid for the food, I told the lady she could keep the change. It was only fair since she had served me way too much food.

With the tteokbokki as my consolation, I continued with my lonely walk. Luckily, the streets were busy enough for me to not be noticed, which made me be just one more guy wearing a black hoodie in the crowd. My mind was now beginning to be clearer since I wasn’t starving anymore.

As I faced the cold breeze with the warmth of my meal burning up my lips with its sweet spiciness, suddenly I saw some perfect bouncy curls passing by, not too far from me, walking in the opposite direction where I was going. My heart skipped and I stopped breathing from the expectance of seeing her right when I was craving for her presence so much, but when I turned around, I couldn’t see her anymore. Perhaps, I was merely hallucinating from the lack of her attention which was not lacking at anyway. She didn’t lack anything and even though she wasn’t perfect, together we were clearly my kind of perfect and that thought alone made my feelings impatient and greedy.

There I was, eating and walking down a busy street, surrounded by people I didn’t even bother to look at, with only a single thought in my mind: Violet. And with that revealing confection, I stopped lying to myself and let my hopes and courage be fuelled with my true desires and passion. “I think I like her a lot.” I concluded and let the nervous excitement invade me as it burned me, wet me and made me stumble. “Wet? Wait what?” When I looked forward, I realized I was burning and wet because someone, who didn’t even bother to apologize, had spilt their coffee on me.

Great.

- Look where you’re going. – The rude man said as he vanished in the crowd.

For my luck and out of reflex, I was able to avoid the coffee to damage my jeans. After taking some deep breaths and trying to contain my anger, I looked around to find a store so I could change my wet hoodie. That was certainly an easy task, it took me less than thirty seconds to find a clothes store and I thanked God for that since it was so chilly outside, it wasn’t comfortable to walk around like that. As I stepped in the store, I regretted it immediately, the environment was so warm and cozy, going back outside would be a big challenge… or at least that’s what I thought.

I could’ve picked anything without thinking too much, but then I saw a light blue hoodie that reminded me of her room. So, of course, that was the one I went for, plus it would definitely look great on her and I was also definitely buying it for me, just for me.

After paying for it, I asked one member of the staff if I could use the fitting room to change into the clean hoodie and thankfully she was really discreet about my presence. I put my wet hoodie in the paper bag of the new one and started heading outside, as my phone vibrated. When I lit up the screen everything disappeared around me and all I could do was smile and try to contain the butterflies that had invaded my stomach. It was Violet.

I smiled at the image that had popped up in my mind, as I imagined how cute she must have looked while eating street food in this cold weather. Then, suddenly, all I could feel was the loud thudding of my heart when I took a second look at the picture she had sent me, and I realized she was at the food stand I was at earlier. Without thinking much and ignoring the fact that we had only texted and never even called each other, I started running to that direction and hit the call button with no hesitation. The wind had become colder as I moved faster than previously on that early night, but for some reason, it had become easier to face it with the sound of the telephone line guiding my hopes and needs. However, that hope was nothing compared to when those long sounds were interrupted, and she picked up my call:

- Do not move! – I said between breaths without breaking my pace.

- Oh, no! Is this an assault? – She laughed on the other side of the line.

- Are you still near the food stand? – I almost screamed as my excitement took the best of me.

- Yes! Going for a second here, Sir. – She says between giggles before noticing my heavy breaths – Young K?

I sped up a little and tried to sound normal on the phone, the food stand was right at the corner of the main street. I was nearly there.

- Are you running, or something? Are you okay? – Violet asks with her month audibly filled with food.

- I was. And yes, everything is okay. – I whispered hiding my face in the hood as I finally reached her and hugged her from behind to feel her holding her breath from the fright – I just missed you all day, that’s all.

Violet stood there rigid in my embrace for a few seconds before relaxing and trying to turn around so she could face me. When she looked me in the eyes, what I saw was a mixture of confusion and comfort. She was more than happy and also relieved to see me standing in front of her. God. How cute she looked as she tried to chew her food in the most delicate way she could, I guessed that she put too much inside her month since no one was watching her before. But I would never complain, I loved it. She was adorable most of the time and then in the next second, she would be so daring. And yet, “always so thoughtful” I caught myself thinking as I noticed she was looking around the crowd to make sure no one had seen me and that I wasn’t in trouble.

- God. I want to kiss you. – I started to murmur whilst my hands travelled down her soft cheeks and teased her jawlines.

- Right n-now? – Violet stuttered as the panic in her voice made me wake up from my trance.

We were surrounded by people that would not be a good idea at all, even though my whole body and will were saying the exact opposite. I stared at her reddened nose from the cold and examined the shade of her cheeks, hopefully, that shy colour wasn’t provoked by the weather but my presence.

- You’re right. – I admitted, backing off slightly and increasing the space between us, to see her tender lips part in defeat as she stared at mine.

- But I want to… I just fear for you… – Violet reassured me as her eyes lit with the expectance of a distant kiss.

- I can see you do. – my teasing words touched her conscious and she forced herself to look me in the eyes as my lips burnt from the intensity of her stare.  

In between timid smiles, we walked around as the sun started to set and the streets got less busy since we were heading off the main courses and our conversation about work filled the silence

With our hands brushing slightly against each other accidentally, the need of holding hers was progressively being fed and increased as the minutes spent next to her went by. Finding Violet there, out of the blue, was a gift from destiny or whatever you want to call it. I was simply so grateful for her presence and also going crazy for repressing my urge to kiss her tender lips. What a twist of a feeling. My mind couldn’t be more lost than it was at that moment, but my heart was in an accelerated pace that I had never experienced before.

- What were you doing around this area? – I asked trying to fill the comfortable silence that engulfed us a few minutes ago, leading to giggles and shy smiles.

- Oh, I had dinner with the bros. Big bro is going to work late tonight and the little brat is going to sleepover at someone’s house. – Violet replied with her steps turning into nervous fidgeting movements.

- What did you eat? – I asked not just trying to make conversation but because I was deeply intrigued to know every single detail of her day, so the time I was away from her could be compensated.

- A sandwich from subway. Just something fast. – She replied biting her lips immersed in her thoughts.

The simple action drove me insane. I was trying my hardest not to kiss her but seeing her biting her lip was the final blow to completely knock out my self-control. As we passed by a dark alley, I took the opportunity and grabbed her wrist and guided her deeper into the shadows of the hidden street. Being controlled by my thirst, I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her against the wall as I gently, in a slow pace, rubbed my lips against hers and unconsciously held my breath between accelerated heartbeats. My hands let go of the hoodie paper bag and trembled with the feeling of touching Violet again, they trembled with the anticipation of the moment I could feel her skin against my hands and travelled leisurely through her body; so, one rested on her waist and the other grabbed her neck possessively. Violet’s eyes were drowning in expectance for my kiss, our kiss. I probably made her wait too long for it since she offered me a kind smile filled with thirst and embarrassment, perhaps I took too long adoring the features of her majestic face and delayed the kiss, or perhaps I couldn’t fight my own nature and had to keep teasing her.

I let go of a breath, I forgot I was holding and kissed her like she was the air that I needed. I kissed her deeply and devoured her mouth with my feverish tongue, needing to taste her after a long day of missing her sweetness. Exploring her mouth as if it was our first kiss.

I felt Violet’s legs give away as our tongues played with each other, so I increased the pressure of my body on hers and made all the tiny distance between us disappear as my leg slid between hers. Violet moaned softly in response to the vigorous contact, making me groan in unison as my body started reacting towards hers and my bulge began to grow. Suddenly, her nails scratched the skin of my neck and then pulled my hair in the urge for a deeper contact.

Restricting myself from committing a public offence on a dark alley, I bit her lower lip to progressively distance ourselves from our frenetic kiss. Caressing her cheeks, I winked at her, grabbed my paper bag once again, and walked away from the shadows and heading back to the street. I could feel she was still standing there on the same spot, but I gave her a few moments to pull her herself together.  

Violet soon joined me again, maintaining her distance from me, probably trying to avoid getting me in trouble in public. Though that distance killed me, how I wished to hold her hand and make her understand I wanted her… I wanted her to be mine. Suddenly, that distance increased, and I stopped feeling her next to me, I looked back at her and noticed she stopped.

- What’s wrong, Beautiful? – I asked her worried as I followed her stare, she was looking at a movie arcade there.

- It’s a weekday, there’s probably no one there… and it’s dark, I guess. – She replied unsure of her request.

“How precious,” I thought to myself as I gave her the only answer I could probably find, I smiled in agreement and followed her inside.

- So, I’ll buy the tickets. Hide that gorgeous face behind your hoodie and pretend to look at your phone.

I watched her do her thing, Violet was polite and delicate to everyone when she was buying tickets for the movie that she didn’t even know what was about. She was cute, very cute. Violet even got us popcorn and cold drinks, the whole package for the date. Date. “Fuck!”

- Next time I’ll pay, I’m sorry. You caught me off guard! – I apologized almost in panic for not paying our first date out.

Violet placed a popcorn between her lips and then caught it with her teeth, playing with it with her tongue to finally eat it, as she looked at me smirking for my comment. My friend down below started flinching inside my pants with the visual audacity of her provocation.

- Uh! The first sign you can’t keep up with me. I’m winning. – She giggled as she tormented my longing desires.

- Declaring war, are we? Careful. – I managed to say in an attempt to tease her back.

To be honest I didn’t think we would watch the movie, because the theatre was empty. “Oh, Jesus! Help me.” I begged in silence. We sat at the far back seats in the middle since she said it was the best seats to watch the movie. “Are we actually watching?” I asked her in my mind and tried to suppress the detailed image my imagination was creating of her bouncing on top of me as she rode my cock in an empty theatre. “Stop it.” I told the beast inside my pants as I tried to find a comfortable position to sit down next to her.

Violet nudged my hand to hold hers and I thanked the heavens for the fact that my eyes had adjusted to the dark so quickly. Once I held her hand, I noticed how she squeezed her legs adorned by her ripped jeans and I started wondering how easy it would be to touch her skin. I leaned towards her ear to whisper something, but I was startled by the couple that walked in and I rapidly sat straight on my seat. I heard her giggle at my behaviour, mocking me as they sat far away from us. I looked at her and saw how relaxed she was, she was probably certain that I wouldn’t do anything too daring to her there.

She. Was. Wrong.

We were talking quietly about everything and nothing, none of us was paying attention to the movie. I started to slowly caress her here and there, just a light touch and then I let my finger play with the exposed skin of her legs, when I nipped her earlobe, and I could feel her skin shivering under my fingers. With the reaction I inflicted on her a devilish need grew and burnt me, so I flatted my hand on her thigh and squeezed the flesh under my palm making her squirm and fidget on her seat. Violet grabbed my arm and dug her nails in my skin, trying to make me stop. I didn’t. I kept touching her and found my way to her top, exploring her tummy beneath her blouse, as I went higher, I felt her stiff trying to suppress her reactions. When I sneaked my hand under her bra and coped her breast, she almost jumped but the only response I got was a glare and her hand covering her mouth muffling the moan that erupted from her throat.

- What a good girl. Not making any noise, I didn’t know you had it in you. – I whispered to her near her sensitive ear.

Violet grabbed my chin and leaned towards my craving lips when suddenly we were interrupted by the noise of soft husky moans. She blinked frenetically and rolled her eyes as she understood what was happening with the other couple and let a disappointed breath got away.

- Well… she doesn’t. – Violet said already smiling – Let’s get out of here.

I watched her get up loudly, that was probably her way to show her discontent about the noises they were doing. I hurried after her without forgetting my paper bag and before we exited the theatre, I stole her a kiss. She grabbed my waist to pull me closer to her as she felt my hardness, this time she was the one who pushed me against the wall and without breaking our synchronic lips and starving tongues. Her legs trembled once again when I explored the inside of her mouth deeply smiling between our kiss. That was one of her weaknesses. But she knew mine too, to wipe my smirk away she bit my bottom lip and stared at me with fire in her gaze that could burn me for hours, or even days. She gave me a good squeeze on my thrilling bulge and walked away. God, how I loved this side of her.

- I need to use the ladies’ room. – She informed me before disappearing into the toilet. Even though I was the one who needed to go to the toilet more than her… to take care of some business if I could.

I waited for her as I leaned breathless against the wall and accidentally let my paper bag slid through my fingers. I took the black hoodie out of there and noticed it had dried, there wasn’t any spot adoring the material. Then, taking a closer look the blue hoodie I was wearing, I thought “well, I did buy it while thinking about the colours of her room”. And with that mindset, I hurried to the toilet myself and changed into the old hoodie so I could lend the new one to her and got rid of the annoying bag.

I was faster than her. When she walked out of the toilet, I was already waiting outside for her. Violet had now drops of water running down her face, but refreshing her cheeks with water couldn’t hide how blushed she looked. And the way that she was walking let me know how horny she was.

- Let’s go. –  Violet said when she saw me.

I stood still since I couldn’t focus on what she was saying, feeling distracted by her ass swaying from one side to the other, but when I didn’t answer she turned around and then she noticed that I changed my clothes. I gulped and searched for my pride when she noticed I had changed, but I couldn’t find it. I had lost already. Clearly.

- It’s probably too cold outside, right now. Put this on. – I suggested as her eyes lit up and her dimples surfaced.

Once she put it on, it was game over. My heart almost jumped out of my chest, she looked so small in it and yet so powerful, nothing could compare to that feeling. That feeling, as if she was already mine… as if she was accepting we belonged to one another. And just like that, I caught her gripping the hem of the hoodie’s collar and inhaling a deep breath to absorb all my fragrance present on the fabric. Trying to avoid getting my hopes too high and feeling a soft blush invading my expression, I tried to escape her spell with a joke:

- Pervert. – I said making her stop abruptly from adoring my perfume.

- Le..let’s go! – She said running away outside.

I put my hood on and followed her outside, the fresh breeze surprised us both, and perhaps it was because we were too hot at that moment. The wind was cutting us like knives; she slipped her hands in her pockets, protecting them from the cold.

But even though the weather wasn’t pleasing we kept walking in silence. It was comfortable and we were aware no one wanted to go home.

- I don’t feel like going home. – She admitted.

I laughed and punched her arm, she soon did the same and we intertwined our fingers just for a few seconds.

- How about we… – I stared as I looked around to scan what we could possibly do together – oh, let’s go there!

- It looks shabby. Are you sure? It’s fine by me but …

- Come on! It’s going to be fun! – I tried to appeal to her and whispered against her ear – I’ll sing to you. It will be a private concert. You can even make demands, Princess.

Violet blushed and bit her lip, I knew she was crazy about my voice and there was no way she could resist the temptation of me singing just for her. As she made her mind about my suggestion, I followed her in the direction of the karaoke joint.

Masterlist & Chapters: Check my bio for the masterlist link.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed reading this. According to my plans, next chapter will be hotter... as in ... burning hot!

Sweet Little Bird.