#robert and max’s only second scene

[bobbie-robron]

Her brother’s in the hospital. She needs someone to talk to.

Diane’s back home and soon enough also back in the pub pulling pints. Seeing Max cozy with Kelly, Robert warns him about just how close she was to her brother… in the physical sense.

06-Jul-2005

[cutesilyo]

the thing i really like about just for once in nerdy prudes must die is that it's best iteration of the musical within a musical trope that has become characteristic of the hatchetfield musicals

like both show-stopping number and deck the halls (of northville high) are catchy songs from in-universe musicals that were very much written to have plots that suck

and show-stopping number was so well-beloved because it is, frankly, a hilarious scene that robert manion put 100% into

but i argue that only just for once is thematically relevant to its musical and fully emblematic of the wants and desires of the character singing it

because what is just for once, as a scene? it's ruth singing a song because she thinks she's got a chance of doing it better. it's ruth singing a song about a character who looks back on the mundane miseries of her lonely life and — at the last second — remembering who she used to be before the pain set in. it's ruth singing her version of cooler than i think i am and reflecting on how she is perceived and wondering what it takes to break away from it. it's ruth singing right after she says, "in my dreams, i'm the star of the show."

of all the losers that max jagerman victimizes, only ruth says who she'd like to become beyond that. where pete can't even admit to liking steph at gunpoint and richie doesn't ever get the chance to verbalize what he wants, ruth gets on the stage in the few minutes of break time and just for once, the spotlight is on her.

and the really crazy thing about just for once is — it has the "i'm not a loser" motif. possibly the most iconic and important motif of the whole musical, it's the motif that starts the opening number. and here it is, in the silly musical within a musical by the silly character who has — until this song — always served as comic relief.

in the climax of the song, just for once is no longer the song of a character from the barbecue monologues. it's ruth's. in those few seconds, it's her lamentation of the life that max jagerman forced on her.

but that's the thing about the "i'm not a loser" motif. the way it functions in the musical is as a harbinger for max's violence. the police at the beginning ask, "what the hell happened here?" and its the motif that answers. pete is the first character that sings the line and is immediately beaten up by max in the next scene. then richie sings it and max kills him in the same song. when ruth has the motif running as the crescendo to just for once, it sounds absolutely incredible... and it should come as no surprise when max appears shortly after.

(as a quick note: you can also hear the motif after max makes the car crash, then max appears two scenes later. you then hear the motif in the cooler than i think i am reprise and max also appears right after the song. it's like max is instantly summoned by any instance of the losers trying to shake off the role he placed on them — of trying to defy him.)

tl;dr: the inclusion of the "i'm not a loser" motif in just for once makes it the big lipped alligator moment that wasn't. like yeah, it accomplishes its goal in being the funny musical within a musical trope! the character acting makes it a funny song, and its a funny character performing it! but it also furthers our understanding of ruth AND of what the "i'm not a loser" really is: it's the characters trying to develop past being nerdy prudes and max doing everything in his power to prevent that.

and it does all that while being a banging musical tribute to stephen sondheim and, especially, his song the ladies who lunch. which in itself is a massive flex on jeff blim's part. what a brilliant song in a brilliant musical.

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

my headcanons for if cornley put on a production of tgwdlm, for @marvelmaniac715 and any other cornley/hatchetfield folks <3

under a readmore because i have a lot to say sorry

chris plays paul because we know he loves that leading role. paul is supposed to show his love for his friends more and more as the show progresses, but because of everything going wrong, paul ends up becoming more and more angry at everything.

emma is initially played by vanessa (because as i have said before, my favourite goes wrongisms come from people playing characters they are ill suited for, and vanessa playing characters with much more attitude than she has is always funny to me). however, at the end of act 1 somewhere (probably somehow during join us and die), she gets bonked over the head and is knocked unconscious, leaving her unavailable for the second act.

this means that they have to understudy, and who’s the only understudy they have? trevor of course (a la nick lang understudying for lauren lopez). unlike nick lang, trevor doesn’t have a single clue what he’s supposed to be doing, and delivers a monotonous performance.

during the bit near the end where paul and emma almost kiss, trevor forgets to take the blood capsule that he is supposed to spit out. (idk how they do it in the real thing but just go with me on this please). this leaves no reason for paul and emma NOT to kiss. and therefore, they very awkwardly end up actually kissing. for the christrev fans out there <3

just before inevitable starts, vanessa gains consciousness. trevor doesn’t realise. this leaves everyone in confusion as they try to deal with TWO emma’s onstage as they sing.

max plays ted, because once again, cornley playing characters that do not suit them is my favourite thing. ted does not come across as a sleezeball at all, and during the ‘kick my head’ bit, it does not feel like ted is making fun of bill in any way.

however, ted’s enjoyment of show stoppin’ number is not an act at ALL. max is genuinely just having a good time. trevor is very put off by it all. life imitates art and vice versa.

by the time ted finally dies, chris is about ready to strangle max.

bill is played by jonathan, because jonathan canonically has a daughter and i feel like the not my seed angst would feel a bit more real. because as well as making fake cornley productions go wrong, i have to make them a little bit angsty as well. for the soul.

it also means that jonathan/bill is a bit late to all of his scenes (he got stuck behind a door). i feel like there’s many scenes where bill is the first to speak, meaning that the rest of the cast is awkwardly standing there while they wait for jonathan to get in.

sandra does the alice/zoey/greenpeace girl track, as she thinks it will be a good opportunity to show off her abilities in character work. no one comments on the fact that zoey isn’t really a character for her, just kind of how she is in real life.

there’s also a certain awkwardness about jonathan and sandra playing father and daughter that i think is fun.

robert plays hidgens. obviously. the most grandiose part for the most grandiose man. he goes full-out on show stoppin’ number, but then refuses to let hidgens die, wanting to continue his musical number. this causes problems.

annie plays charlotte. the main reason for this is because i want to hear nancy zamit belt join us and die <3 but apart from that i also think it has comedic potential.

the last track left to fill is mr davidson/sam/mcnamara. the only actor left is dennis. i will let you fill in the blanks.

KIDDING i will say more because i cannot shut up about anything. anyway there is a lot of responsibility on dennis because jeff blim has a LOT of singing and a LOT of parts. why dennis was cast in this role is a mystery (in-universe. in real life it’s because i think it would cause so many problems).

he does not come in on time during the title track, which messes the whole thing up for everyone.

he gets confused during what do you want paul, and starts singing it as ‘what do you want chris?’ instead. this brings a lot of confusion to the scene.

sam does not come across as sleazy in his first scene, and instead gets mixed up about which character he is. this makes sandra as zoey’s life very difficult.

during show me your hands, he accidentally starts pointing the gun at sandra and robert as the other cops instead. he also forgets to pretend to be unconscious once he gets knocked over the head, and adds unwanted commentary about the situation (“i think they should go to the hospital, because my brain shouldn’t be blue. even if it’s not my real brain. do you think my real brain is blue too?”)

he forgets what he’s doing in you tied up my heart, meaning annie has to instruct him on what to do throughout. this creates a rather unusual dynamic between charlotte and sam, where charlotte is highly frustrated as she falls for sam’s manipulation, which isn’t very convincing.

chris has to feed him lines during the mcnamara scene. dennis gets confused and throws the watch offstage instead of the phone.

as you may have guessed, america is great again is also a disaster. (“why is america great again? we live in england!”)

also at the very end the entire set falls down. because it’s cornley and they have to end with a bang!!!

anyway if anyone else has any headcanons, feel free to add on. hope you enjoyed <3

[redbelles]

5, 18, 69, and 76 for the fic writer meme!

5. how many wips do you have? what fandoms/pairings are they for?

yeah i've got wips

kidding! (mostly! not really. but only kind of. it's fine!)

i have just. so many fucking wips. don't wanna talk about how many i have because it's embarrassing, actually! this is absolutely because i consider anything i've written words for/thought about for more than a hot minute a """wip""" but that's a me problem, so here, have semi-comprehensive list of wips i'm determined to finish this year:

the chimneys hardly ever fall down masters of the air; post-war john/gale/marge

gonna stand here in the ache the punisher; post-season one frank/karen

our hands are cold, the moon sets low asoiaf/got; post-season eight jon/sansa

butchered tongue still singing berserk; post-canon guts/casca

something in the night gilmore girls; keg max!au jess/rory

don't you hear me howling, babe? shadow & bone; season one canon divergence darklina au

the second hand unwinds (time after time) stranger things; post-season four hellcheer au

and then, for fun, some wips that aren't top priority atm:

prophetic perfect tense dune; always a girl!paul atreides au

i've walked for miles top gun; post-canon icemav road trip au

more than kin and less than kind hotd; rhaenys flambés the greens at aegon's coronation au

the knife i turn inside myself dune; irulan/feyd post-kanly hatefucking + marriage of convenience au

18. do you enjoy research? which fic of yours required the most research?

yeah! i'm a nerd at heart and also i have a burning need to be canon-compliant with both canon and reality, so i love getting into the research weeds when i'm all in on a fic!

the most """research""" i've done for a fic was, astonishingly, for the fucking,,,,, robert baratheon story (that started life as, and i cannot stress this enough, a joke). i spent so many hours on a wiki of ice and fire i'm pretty sure i made up at least 40% of the site's traffic during the calendar year time it took me to write the damn thing. extremely normal behavior!

anyway! i'm actually in the opposite situation with chimneys, which is super weird. i know a staggering amount of information about the post-wwii usaaf/usaf, and i have to actively stop myself from a) infodumping about things like the development of the american bomber fleet and b) trying to make the timeline accurate, because the entire premise of the fic relies on me Ignoring what was actually going on. anti-research. insane! everyone pour one out for @sluttyhenley— she's spent the last two months taking one for the team and letting me rant at her about curtis lemay so i can get it out of my system and spare everyone who's there for porn instead of a dissertation on strategic bombing doctrine <3

69. what are your favorite fics at the moment?

first of all: nice 😏

second: i feel like i've blathered enough about my own fic today that i'm gonna take this as a question about what i've been enjoying as a reader, so! some recs!

moon's low (can't say no) by @meyerlansky delicious introspective curt pov that nuances an already insanely interesting scene! love this for me! in related news, i am barking and frothing at the mouth as i wait patiently for the follow up to dancing cheek to cheek (to cheek)! tumblr user meyerlansky comin' in hot with THEE definitive curt biddick voice!

never saw the sun shining so bright by @sluttyhenley absolutely shrieking about this series! marge deserves the world! and also both of the buck(y)s! good for her.jpeg! i'm lucky enough to be getting snippets of this as m writes it, and i cannot wait for the next few installments to go live

careful fear and dead devotion by @everyangel another john/gale/marge series i'm currently losing my mind over! the marge voice is so delicious, and i love the pre-war angle that underpins the first fic! cannot wait for more!

enter night by @rhaegang monsterfuckers and barry keoghan enthusiasts rejoice! the writing is top notch, the sex is blisteringly hot, and the tension and pacing are superb. rhaegang truly never misses

nothing safe is worth the drive (follow you home) by @yoursummerfrost i never really had a buffy phase, but i came across this fic the other day and boy howdy does it have me by the throat. deeply emotional, very sexy, and written with so much love it's got me thinking about giving the series more than a cursory "well, it was on when i was home sick from school way back when" watch. also! i've devoured every buffy fic they've written since i found this one and i'm happy to report that they're all incredible!

76. how do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

mature answer: i try to take a step back and remind myself that this is a hobby i am doing for fun and for free and i should calm the fuck down about it

follow up answer: and if that doesn't work, i whine ceaselessly at my writing buddies until i'm over it

send me some fic writing asks!

[content-d3leted]

Here's some random terrible sketches I've done throughout the past 3 months that each took me less than 2 minutes to create because I'm lazy!! It's more about the...essence of what the image conveys rather than the art itself lol

I love how yellow the show is. Maybe it's just because my phone screen is made to see everything through a warm-ish filter, but certain series (especially s4) just have such a yellowy vibe to it...I have no idea why, but I love it so much

Also I love how in series 1 whenever Justin sat on the sofa, Robert always wanted to sit squished between him and the armrest so they were directly next to eachother, it's so CUTE!

(ignore the poor quality of the screenshot) LOOK AT ROBERTS FACE. HE IS ENJOYING IT. HE IS CONTENT. HE JUST WANTS TO BE CLOSE TO HIS BESTIE!! It's so sad that they got rid of this little thing he always did, I wonder what happened that made Robert stop?!?! Maybe he eventually realised that Justin found it annoying (except I'm pretty sure J secretly thought it was sweet) lol

Ngl series 1 had some of the most hilarious moments of the entire show in there. One of my favourites is in 'Suits you' (I think that's its name, it's episode 7 I think) when Robert has the conversation with Dee that goes something like-

R:" Sir is having a bath."

D:"Oh, well I can't give him the paper in the bath!"

R:"No.."

D:"The paper will get all soggy!"

R:"..............yes"

THE WAY HE SAYS THAT LAST LINE ABSOLUTELY KILLS ME ITS SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON

AND THEN AFTERWARDS WHEN DEE MAKES THAT RUBBISH JOKE AND ROBERT MAKES THE FAKE LAUGHING AUDIO PLAY. AND YOU JUST SEE THE LIGHT FADING FROM HER EYES. THE CORNERS OF HER MOUTH SLOWLY FLATTENING. LIKE NO ROBERT YOU'RE NOT MEANT TO SLOWLY CRUSH THE JOY FROM THIS POOR WOMAN BECAUSE OF A BAD JOKE.

And also there was such a sweet moment in the blocked pipe episode, when Robert was going into the basement to check for the pipe, and after doing his (unbearably cringe) 'Robert the brave' lines, he said "and Sir.........I'll miss you!" THE WAY HE SAID AND ACTED WHEN DOING THAT WAS SO CUTE. HE MUST REALLY LIKE JUSTIN TO MISS BEING AWAY FROM HIM FOR 30 SECONDS MAX. And Justin's fake annoyance afterwards was so funny too because I know that deep inside he thought that was adorable

Its kinda sad at how little Robert thinks of himself when it comes to his relationship with Justin. For example in the Roberta episode, he is literally on the brink of leaving the house forever?!?! Just because Justin bought a new robot to HELP him! He really believes that their friendship is just gone like that because of his..jealousy I suppose? Same in the Justi Moment episode (literal copy and paste episode), where he is on the verge of tears because Justin, yet again, bought a robot to help him out! I suppose Robert truly does believe sometimes that he is only fantasising of having a good relationship with J, and that Justin doesn't reciprocate those feelings (which is obviously not true).

Mac's first episode is so heartbreaking though. The fact that Justin did not stop a single time to consider the consequences of leaving his literal family for a couple of years is so sad. And Robert's little monologue bit was so tragic :( , but imagine what it would of been like if Justin actually didn't return for a couple of years, and how devastated Robert would of been. I wonder how he'd react to Justin coming back after so long?? He'd probably never want to see him again after that tbf. Also I do wonder why Robert was so nervous and awkward about meeting Mac for the first time, since he's never been known to do it before when meeting other newcomers. The poor guy was clinging on to Meradith for dear life in some scenes!

It's quite interesting that Robert canoniclly has a physical disability with his right foot coordinator (I think that's what it is, cant remember the exact thing) being faulty so sometimes he'll mess up with walking. Also quite interesting that robots can HAVE physical disabilities. Surely their parts can be replaced or fixed? I wonder why Robert never decided to fix it, perhaps because he didn't think it was important enough? Although I'm pretty sure it does affect him, since multiple times throughout the show he's shown to have a travelling cane of some sorts, meaning he literally needs a walking stick to get around sometimes- so it must be an annoying thing to have. Maybe he's worried about having an operation on his leg? Actually now that I think about it, coordination takes place in the brain, so maybe he's unable to fix it because of that (because I'm pretty sure messing with someone's brain is....not the greatest thing lol)

I'm so tired abdiejdeodnkdslsnjwls

[chlocent]

"they are just husbands. i am evelyn hugo."

a blog by chloe denise nunag of bs psy 2a.

taylor jenkins reid is an american author, well known for her works like daisy jones & the six, malibu rising, after i do, and most notably, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo.

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo is one of the most treasured pieces of literature in the book community. but what is it about, really?

this is a peek into tshoeh, an unbiased and non-spoiling review to get you to read it as well.

for a short background, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo is centered on hollywood movie icon, evelyn hugo. decades have passed since her peak and golden days, and now, she is finally ready to let the public in on the truth about her rather scandalous (love) life.

scandalous, how? well, as the title indicates, hugo married seven times in her life, and this has been a hot topic among the people for years and counting.

with this, monique grant, a journalist for a prestigious magazine, is contacted for a sit-down with hugo. now, hugo has never done exclusive interviews throughout her career, especially not about her private life. so for grant, this could be the scoop that will boost her position in the company and change her career forever.

hugo tells grant about each of her marriages in detail from the first to the last, and grant listens and takes careful note of each one. however, as the book progresses, one would realize that it is not simply a coincidence that hugo personally chooses grant to write her biography.

why?

well, that's reason number one for you to pick up a copy and start diving into hugo's vibrant life.

the story in itself is captivating, but the characters you will definitely fall in love with; evelyn hugo is complex and sometimes morally gray, not often by choice as she was only ever navigating her way through the messy hollywood scene. she is the personification of the idea that is beauty and brains: beautiful, sexy, smart, sensual and ambitious. but she is also mean and calculating, having used people to get what she wanted.

and i'd talk about her seven husbands in detail, but as this review is spoiler-free, i will describe them the way hugo did; poor ernie diaz, goddamn don adler, gullible mick riva, clever rex north, brilliant, kindhearted, tortured harry cameron, disappointing max girard, and agreeable robert jamison.

then, there is also celia st. james, another one of the most famous actresses of hollywood's golden age alongside hugo. being "america's sweetheart", st. james intimidates hugo with her talent in acting, which sparks a rivalry between the two.

of course, there is monique grant. she is charismatic, driven, and like hugo, ambitious. she is a commendable black woman in journalism, consistently standing out for her works, notably for her piece on the right to die.

and that's reason number two for you to grab a copy, physical or virtual.

lastly, aside from the story and the characters, taylor jenkins reid has a way with words that will engulf you in hollywood's golden age and the present time. she stripped bare the movie industry, and she will make you question the truth about the celebrities we know and the lives they present to the public.

she will also make feel a (crazy) range of emotions. one second, you love evelyn hugo, then you hate her the next. reid will make you laugh, then cry. you will be filled with fury with the actions and words hugo leaves, then feel for her and the things she has to go through.

then, there are also the newspaper articles and letters from the past, as well as the features of the present.

more importantly, it is real and raw in a sense that it shows the reality of life and love—how it's never easy, how it's not as glamorous as presented in other forms of media; life is full of twists we never expect, and love will consume you alive.

ultimately, the book was structured and written in a manner that will leave you wondering about what comes next until you are just incapable of putting it down.

yes, that's reason number three of why you need to get into tshoeh as soon as you can.

overall, i can say that the seven husbands of evelyn hugo left me with no words. but at the same time, i have a million things to say. when i first read it, i completed it in one sitting. it was 4 in the morning when i bawled as quietly as i could as to not wake up and alarm the other people in the house.

it's that good.

so, it's your move now. (cmon, put tshoeh in your shopping cart, and check it out Right Now.)

[beclynn-herondale]

I was going through your shadowhunter/secret treasons stuff and in a post you mentioned you wanted a book from that era, and same, but not from jocelyn pov. And I know its from forever ago but I have thoughts. Firstly i dont think one needs a jocelyn pov cause theres like 2 parts as to why that pov could be important. The first is valentine and figuring out hes evil, but you can just have a valentine pov and thatbe more interesting. If nobody knew anything abt the era id get wanting the suspence but everyone knows what happened already. And with the slow realisation theres a bunch of different characters you can use for that. Like Celine and Stephen. But I feel they should have povs anyway so this is a plus. The second part is the whole leaving Alicante/ the shadow world at the end but you can have a luke pov for that. The other two people i feel should have povs are Michael and Maryse. Michael for the Robert thing and his death and Maryse bc of her friendship with valentine that I want to learn more about, she can be pov in Alicante at the end and I feel like she was one of those that did not start thinking valentine was evil before it was over, and shes familiar. So yea for povs id want valentine, Celine, Stephen, luke, Michael and Maryse. Cause id feel thats the way we get a complete wiew of the story. But its also on the edge of being too many povs so no jocelyn.

The only reason I said Jocelyn pov was because I don't think CC will actually give us any other pov of she does write anything.

I personally don't really like Jocelyn and find her to be more annoying than anything. But to CC she's her "good" character. I feel like Jocelyn is the only one who doesn't still get the criticism as the others who were in the circle. Kinda annoying actually cause it's not like she wasn't a part of it.

Anyway, before I keep rambling. I just think CC is gonna pick Jocelyn and probably Valentine.

Tbh I don't even really want a Valentine pov but I think it would make more sense to have his pov for the moments with him.

I would prefer to actually know more about Céline and Stephen and Michael. Heck, even Eliza Rosewain and Madeline. Also, I want more Luke pov in general. I feel like we know enough about Valentine and Jocelyn, they've been in the spotlight.

Honestly, I wanna know more about Maryse and her brother Max Trueblood.

Cassie pretty much laid out Valentine and Jocelyn's story. We don't have the story of all the others. We've never had a Stephen pov or a Micheal one, and only one Céline pov. I wanna see a Céline pov after she marries Stephen and gets pregnant with Jace. I personally feel she began to distrust Valentine somewhere along the way and I wanna see that.

Also as dark it would be I want the actual scene where they kill Céline to see her pov again. And of course Micheal's and Stephen's deaths too.

My opinion is there's too many holes. And I want to fill them with the answers.

[comicweek]

The drama is being rehashed at a time when DC Entertainment toppers James Gunn and Peter Safran are poised to close the book on the previous regime’s superhero slate with the Dec. 20 release of “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom.” Since Warner Bros. chiefs Pam Abdy and Mike De Luca joined the studio in June 2022, followed by Gunn and Safran’s entrance four months later, the four have been saddled with DC duds they inherited, including this year’s “The Flash” ($271 million worldwide) and “Blue Beetle” ($128 million worldwide).

Still, the “Aquaman” sequel held promise considering that the character’s first outing earned $1.15 billion worldwide, becoming the highest-grossing DC movie ever. But sources say the sequel has endured challenges outside of the Heard saga and was testing in the 60s before being recut in the summer of 2022. Despite the overhaul, the film continued to test in the 60s, prompting a new cut. “The movie is like this echo of regimes,” says one insider. “It’s the last remnant of the Snyderverse, and no one really wants to take ownership of it.” Reshoots took place right up until this year’s WGA strike in May. The on-set source disputes the idea that “Aquaman 2” is troubled, noting that the film was on time, under budget and needed only about a week of reshoots.

Like “Flash,” “Aquaman” can’t shake its lame duck trappings, with the DC universe getting overhauled under new leadership, marking Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav’s top priority.

In fact, none of the stars cast by Zack Snyder for 2016’s “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” and 2017’s “Justice League” — including Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Gal Gadot, Ezra Miller and Momoa — will reprise their roles in the new DC universe in character. Momoa may return, just not as Aquaman. Sources say the actor has engaged in talks to play Lobo, either in the 2025 reboot “Superman: Legacy,” written and directed by Gunn, or in a standalone film. In a confusing twist, Viola Davis, who played Amanda Waller in both of the recent “Suicide Squad” movies, will remain as that character in the Gunn-Safran DC universe in next year’s Max series “Waller” and possibly in the new “Superman” tentpole. Another outlier is Gunn’s Max series “Peacemaker,” which will be back for a second season with John Cena in the lead.

Meanwhile, there has been some confusion on the series front about who is the ultimate gatekeeper. Unlike the Marvel-Disney relationship in which Marvel controls the creative process and Disney+ merely releases the content, Max is creatively involved with the DC slate. Gunn and Safran don’t enjoy the same autonomy as Marvel’s Kevin Feige. (A Max source says the collaboration between the DC team and Max executives Sarah Aubrey and Casey Bloys has been seamless, including on the upcoming series “The Penguin,” which was forced to shut down production after the WGA strike began but is expected resume shooting as soon as the SAG-AFTRA strike ends.)

Regardless, some on the lot are convinced that another company, most likely Universal, will buy Warner Bros. within two years, making recent DC subplots and upheavals feel quaint.

“The bottom line is they need to get DC to work whether Zaslav owns it, whether Brian Roberts owns it, whether somebody else owns it,” says LightShed’s Rich Greenfield, a Wall Street analyst and venture capitalist.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Exterminator 2 (Buntzman, 1984)

The premise and poster guarantee a baseline of enjoyment, and I can report that I didn’t mind sitting through the hour and a half runtime. Listen, I’m a man of simple pleasures, and you have the guy showing up with a flamethrower like in the poster and setting bad guys on fire with some regularity, I will not find the movie entirely unsatisfying. And unlike a lot of movies with a cool poster that might mislead you with respect to the contents of the actual film, this very much delivers on that front. If I’m filing a consumer report, I will not be lodging a complaint regarding false advertising.

I’d seen the first movie years ago and while I’m hazy on specific story details, the overall grimy ambience has lingered in my memory. This is nowhere near as sleazy on the whole. There are certainly exploitative elements, but the tone is much more cartoonish and the violence lacks the pungent charge of the original. The result is not unlike the transition from Death Wish II to Death Wish 3, trading grime for camp, although it never reaches the heights of the latter movie, which turns a city block into a war zone. (There’s also a similar use of Chekhov’s machine gun, although this movie does it with less gusto.) This is most evident with the depiction of the villains, who look more like music video extras than authentic street toughs or scumbags, and the leader of whom, played by Mario Van Peebles, is dressed like Vernon Wells from The Road Warrior. This is not a documentarian portrait of vigilantism by any means. Something was in the air generally, as you could see action movies transition to varying degrees of excess during those years, evident not just in the Death Wish movies but things like the Rambo and Max Max franchises as well. Something was definitely in the air at Cannon Films, which produced this movie and was in the habit of chasing trends no matter how ill-advised. It’s the only explanation for why this movie stops in the middle for a scene where the hero’s girlfriend joins some breakdancers in the park while electro blares on the soundtrack. I’m not complaining. If I can make a second case in favour of this movie, it’s that is serves as the movie you put on when you don’t know which Cannon Films production you want to watch.

All that being said, while I don’t think Death Wish 3 is the best directed movie, you can appreciate the conviction with which it lays waste to its villains and their environment, and the qualities that Charles Bronson brings to such material. Even if he’s less than fully committed, there’s an understatement, an implied capacity for violence, that makes him permeate a certain repugnant aura that makes him compelling in these contexts. This is a guy you do not want to fuck with. In contrast, I don’t think Robert Ginty has the same presence, although I think the issue is less his performance than the way he’s directed. No, he’s not the most charismatic actor, but there’s something curious about the way the movie seems to undermine him at every turn, cutting away anytime he’s been on screen for more than a few seconds, even if it’s in the middle of a dialogue scene. I understand the movie underwent extensive reshoots (and many of the violent scenes were added thusly), but the results onscreen are baffling. You even see it being done to Van Peebles, who is trying to give the kind of juicy, teeth gnashing performance that turn movies like this into cult favourites, yet is rarely afforded the grandeur he deserves. It’s a shame, because he certainly is magnetic.

So yeah, not great, but it’s not like Death Wish 3 has breakdancing or Breakin’ has gang members being flamethrowered, so maybe this is worth a look with low enough expectations.

[rookie-critic]

Rookie-Critic's Top 25 Films of 2022: #11: The Batman (dir. Matt Reeves)

Similar to Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, I don't think anyone was prepared for how good Matt Reeves' take on the caped crusader was going to be. Robert Pattinson as the titular Batman and the main antagonist is... The Riddler? On paper it sounded like, at the most, it would be fine, but as more information came out and finally when the first trailer dropped, I think heads started to turn. One of the few movies I saw in the theater twice last year, The Batman is a Batman film that finally focuses on a much-neglected aspect of his character in previous versions; this Batman isn't an ass-kicking crime stopper, he's a detective, first and foremost. His combat skills are fine, but this Bruce Wayne is young, he's green, he (pardon my French) fucks up on the physical side of things constantly, he's not a fantastic "superhero" yet, but he is smart, and what better pick from Batman's rogues gallery to have him go up against than The Riddler? Now, all of a sudden, that setup that, on paper, seemed so silly is looking a lot more interesting. Throw in a Paul Dano performance that is a perfect mix of menacing and incel attitude and we've got ourselves a detective story. This is all before we've even gotten to talking about the rest of the amazing cast that includes Zoë Kravitz, Andy Serkis, and an unrecognizable Colin Farrell (in his second appearance both on this list), the brilliant cinematography, that frames the dark corners of Gotham like dystopian, rain-soaked paintings, or even the Batmobile! It may only command the screen for a single scene, but I'll be damned if that one Batmobile chase isn't the most thrilling action sequence of last year (save for any of Top Gun: Maverick's many aerial sequences). This is now the fourth film on the list to have been watched and added within the first 3 months of the year, and there was never a doubt in my mind that it would hold its place long enough to cement it. This is my favorite Batman film, and I'm looking forward to seeing what Pattinson and director Matt Reeves do with the character going forward.

Currently streaming on HBO Max.

Read my original review of The Batman here.

[f1]

Norris quickest after Ricciardo and Piastri crash on banking | 2023 Dutch Grand Prix second practice

Lando Norris topped the second practice session for the Dutch Grand Prix after Oscar Piastri and Daniel Ricciardo both crashed out. Norris was less than half a tenth quicker than Max Verstappen during the second hour of running at the Zandvoort circuit. But his team mate Piastri crashed at the banked turn three before the halfway mark. Ricciardo followed him into the barriers moments later. Ricciardo avoided using his left hand as he climbed out of the cockpit and received medical attention after complaining of pain in his wrist. After a relatively sunny start to the weekend in the opening practice session, skies were overcast for the second and final hour of running. Lance Stroll, who had been unable to complete any timed laps in the first session due to a power unit problem, was quick to get out on track and pick up running as the session began. George Russell set the early best lap time of a 1’13.358 on medium compound tyres in his Mercedes, but that was quickly beaten by Sergio Perez in the Red Bull, who posted a 1’12.750, also on the mediums. Perez’s team mate Verstappen was set to beat his time but was caught up behind Nico Hulkenberg’s Haas at the penultimate corner – much to the champion’s displeasure. The incident will be investigated by the stewards after the session. Verstappen made up for his first lap being ruined by posting a lap almost two tenths faster than Perez on his next attempt to take the top spot in the order. However, the session was red flagged just ten minutes in when Piastri lost control of his McLaren through the banked third corner and crashed into the barriers. Ricciardo, the first car on the scene, locked up while trying to take avoiding action and also speared into the barriers. Despite appearing to climb out of the car well enough, Ricciardo had reported that he had hurt his hand as he hit the wall. The AlphaTauri driver was taken to the medical centre for checks and Ricciardo was later taken to a nearby hospital for further evaluation. Advert | Become a RaceFans supporter and go ad-free After a 10-minute delay to repair the barrier, the session resumed with almost the entire field taking to the track on soft tyres. Norris set the fastest time of the session and of the day so far with a 1’11.330, with Verstappen’s effort on softs only good enough for second, two tenths slower than the McLaren. Carlos Sainz Jnr missed the opening session of the day after stepping aside for Robert Shwartzman. As the Ferrari driver acclimatised himself with the circuit, he ran off at turn 11, running through the gravel – a mistake Stroll repeated later in the session. Verstappen improved on his personal best but not by enough to beat Norris’ best, matching the McLaren on a 1’11.3. Teams then turned their focus to longer runs over the last third of the session, with many of the traditional front runners putting in stints of more than 15 laps. With drivers on high fuel runs, there were no improvements at the top of the times in the final minutes. Sainz briefly brought out the yellow flags in the final minutes with his second off of the session, running wide at the penultimate corner of turn 13. Eventually, the chequered flag signalled the end of the session with Norris confirmed as the fastest driver. Verstappen was second, but it was Alexander Albon who put Williams third fastest at the end of Friday. Lewis Hamilton was the fastest Mercedes driver in fourth ahead of Yuki Tsunoda in the sole remaining AlphaTauri. After Pierre Gasly came Perez in seventh, then Lance Stroll, Valtteri Bottas and Fernando Alonso. Advert | Become a RaceFans supporter and go ad-free 2023 Dutch Grand Prix second practice result Advert | Become a RaceFans supporter and go ad-free 2023 Dutch Grand Prix Browse all 2023 Dutch Grand Prix articles via RaceFans - Independent Motorsport Coverage https://racefans.net/

[lucindarobinsonvevo]

im having a feeling i will need to change the penultimate part of KIABH. i hate killing darlings as much as any other writer but i just think it’s not going to work :( it would have been a dream sequence, inspired by Bouncer’s Dream, where Elle follows a trail of jacaranda flowers (keep an eye on those, they will be a reoccurring and very important symbol) through a series of tableaus of the worst moments in her life but all the people are replaced by teddy bears. Which is a symbol im thinking of cutting entirely, even though I’ve already introduced them in the first part. But, the reason I’m thinking of cutting them is because I feel like I’m thinking too visually about a written medium. one of the lessons i learned in writing class was that you can’t write a story the same way you film a movie. I think that for it to be clear on what’s happening, you would need a visual component to tell the reader that we’re referencing bouncer’s dream because obviously Elle can’t say that from her POV -- she doesn’t know what that is. 

the teddy bear thing, the bears are something Elle is already associated with in canon, and the idea would have been as her things begin arriving from New York and she displays her photos in the penthouse at Leo’s request each box has some of her bears in it, and as her mental health declines, the amount of bears increases, and they begin to symbolize the weight of not just her past misdeeds, like terrorizing Max, but the blame she puts on herself for not being the sister Robert and Cameron needed, or the daughter Paul and Gail wanted, or not being able to call Andrew back for fear of him cutting her off like Cam did before he died. Then, after we have a scene that we aren’t sure if Elle is just dreaming up (a la cameron in Clutch Start) or if it’s something that’s real and she is seriously injured and ends up at the bottom of a lassiters fire escape, left for dead. The next part would be the long dream sequence, with the bears which I think is a great visual. The idea of Elle, walking through this backrooms style bouncer’s dream hell, seeing her loved ones be replaced by unresponsive uninterested blank faced teddy bears is a good idea, I think. If I was a webcomics creator I’d be all over it. IDk I just love the image of Elle seeing the plane crash, but Paul is just a teddy bear in a white suit that is disinterested in her suffering. She sees Robert, Gail and Izzy as bears, as they confront him at the camp site, and they don’t care that she’s scared why would they? they’re just bears. She passes by a version of herself, crushed during the roof collapse but Riley is a bear, and he’s just going to let her die and we go on and on, with Elle eventually reaching the image of Cameron, lying after being hit by the car. He seems to be the only human here and she runs to him, only for him to roll over and be reveals as a robert jump scare lol. 

I intend to keep the second part of the dream sequence, since it’s based entirely around Elle conversing with her dead aunt, Julie. I dunno, I just really like the idea even if I have to cut it to keep the story making sense. i just think describing Bouncer’s Dream is not going to have the same effect as if I was to show it in a visual way. Like, the visual language would tell you straight away what the reference is, even if the character of Elle doesn’t know. But, alas. I will probably have to cut it, and the bear thing, since the bears no longer serve a purpose without this scene. Oh well. Writing is like that sometimes. 

[108garys]

OK yeah some of these were pretty damn cursed but firstly the parameters

I excluded both hoa/tidms prologues along with 1600s little hope due to not having eras in other games that overlap with those characters life times

Two spins=ship

A pair would be disqualified if they shared a model, a game, lived in radically different times and age gaps were case by case(wrote them regardless of if they qualify, well over 100 didn't)

Then some characters qualified multiple times so I just picked because I didn't want repeats

So for the headache it gave me heres:

Max/Taylor(it would be the perpetual "you go first" lol)

Joe Roberts/Anna Bennet

Abe/James(given they're set 20 years apart they probably around the same age)

Charlie L/Jack fiddler(Charlie's new bf has a flamethrower, what are you gonna do about that hector?)

Billy Bates/Agnes Bradshaw(he's a sugar baby✨)

Daniel/Daniella(this one came up multiple times)

Becky/Kate(think of the possibilities)

Conrad/Emma

Julia/Jess

Mike/Adam(mike be like "this is my new bf Simon, he's a forensic guy"... "so anyway it turns out my new bf is a serial killer who committed identity theft... Do you think I should give him a second chance?")

Kaylee/Brad(shes invested in the infodumping)

Michelle Morello/Chris Hackett(He's really doing the most to keep his family off the true crime radar)

William Vanstone/Travis Hackett(the shady judge and the shady sheriff? The Hackett's really don't want there secrets coming out...)

Alex/Matt

John/Hannah(RUN proffesor! I mean she'd be in her late 20s and human but still it's a good thing we know the man can run)

Sam/Jamie(they have such different ideas about what counts as a good time that it's not even funny)

Erin/Jacob(guess who's never carrying anything ever again lol)

Jefferson Bragg/Elis van Huytan

Dr hill/Danny(hill is a real person tho I'm not sure Danny can tell these days, at any rate Danny/therapy)

Tom/Samir(hidden agenda cop who can die in his first scene and tdim cop who does in his only scene that I also named? Why not)

The particularly cursed ones was recognising that Megan and Merwin are around the same age, that bobby Hackett isn't technically too old for Zain but I don't like it, spinner shipped manny/clarice multiple times and it also qualifies(I trust her to kick his ass tho)

And Many more and for all the crazy options it definitely gets me thinking about what else could hypothetically work lol

Maybe I'll draw/write for some of these, who knows

But what if I put a bunch of names on a spinner and see if get any good cross game ships?

May end up cursed but why not✨

[violetren]

I swing up and down on my excitement for The Batman (2022) from like moderately interested to severely disappointed. The reason being that I am kinda fucking sick to death of Edgelord Supreme Batman and the specific brand comic nerds that swarm around the release of edgy batman movies.

--You know the types. The very white very misogynistic ones who think "I've never met a girl who was into comics before" is a high quality pick up line--

But like if we are gonna have another dark edgy I Am Vengeance Batman then start-of-his-career-first-time-unleashing-his-trauma-in-the-form-of-fursuit-vigilantism-Batman is absolutely the way to go. Enough with the jaded I've-been-doing-this-for-years-and-Gotham-still-sucks-and-I'm-still-sad-and-lonely-Batman. Dude kinda sucks in that form.

Baby Batsy just figuring out where his lines actually are in practice and how fucked up of a ride he's signing himself up for is at least interesting and so there in lies my excitement, when I can feel it.

However remember that mention of being severely disappointed? Yeah, let's get back to that, because I've just figured out a big part of why I'm disappointed by this movie that isn't even out yet.

Initially I thought it was just because once again we are getting a Batman without ANY of the Robins. Batman is a brilliantly nuanced character who can stand on his own in general but you lose SO much of what makes him interesting and fundamentally Batman if you don't give him someone lighter/younger to play off of. So having him on his own consistently just gets bland.

He's like rice. A fucking great staple. Can really hit the spot on its own sometimes. Sometimes. However generally it should almost be eaten alongside or mixed with something else if you're gonna be eating consistently.

Give us a Batman and Robin and let us witness Bruce slip into his adoption addiction.

And while this remains a pretty big portion of why I am disappointed there is something more.

When I saw Robert Pattinson was gonna be Batsy I was unsure--Twilight and Cedric Diggory weighed heavy in my mind--but then I realised, with the discovery of there being no Robin, that it'd be fine.

This many times around with the signature no direct light sources style of filming fucking anyone can do batman so long as they can do a halfway decent glare and a kinda growly voice. Between the shadows, stuntmen, near monosyllabic dialogue for 80% of the time, and costuming you could seamlessly make a Batman movie with a different Batman actor in every scene and if you didn't credit every actor then most people probably would only pick out like 5 max and it'd be a massive conspiracy. Honestly, it'd be fun to see.

But anyways!

I realised tonight that the other reason I so quickly came to accept the idea of Robert Pattinson as Batman and why I'm so god damn disappointed by the concept of this movie isn't just that it wouldn't make sense for him to have a Robin, it's that it wouldn't make sense for us to see Brucie Wayne.

And Robert Pattinson would do a phenomenal Brucie Wayne!

Think about it for a second.

Robert "Kissed Taylor Lautner so Kristen Stewart wouldn't have to at an awards show" Pattinson.

Robert "crashed the Order of the Phoenix premiere after eating pizza and beer all summer just coz" Pattinson.

Robert "spent a GQ interview microwaving pasta while trying to make a new hand held pasta dish" Pattinson.

That mother fucker could be put on a red carpet set and given exactly 2 directions.

He's popular bumbling billionaire Bruce Wayne

He can't be moody, grimdark, or angry

And then just let loose using his own general knowledge of how red carpet events are meant to go to just fucking ad lib it while everyone else read from actual scripted lines.

You can't convince me they wouldn't get some quality Brucie Wayne shenanigans out of that scenario. The only reason they'd need multiple takes is to ensure the full info needed for the scene got across and that people weren't laughing too much.

Dude could absolutely make the "do the butts match" joke feel natural on screen.

And the movie is gonna be too dark and gritty to give us anything even remotely in the fucking vicinity of Brucie Wayne and that is one of the major reasons I am pre-emptively disappointed by The Batman (2022).

[xavablue]

Lonesome nights

author‘s note: Hi! This is just a fic I wrote of Charles And my oc Xava! Hope y’all enjoy

——————

warnings: Nsfw, French dirty talk, clawing, sad ending

—————-—

Scene: in a world where Max Verstappen had another blood sister called Xava Verstappen just finished her second season’s first race with her Brother running p2, Sebastian vettel p1, ending up a mere p7 behind the ferarri driver charles leclerc. Sebastian threw a party of his success in mclaren which lead to xava texting charles different options of dresses until he had asked what lurked beneath the dress which ended up with Charles making a late- night visit to the Verstappe’s hotel room while her brother Max was out to the oarty

`28March, 2021 after the Race and Sebastian’s win`

Xava honestly didn’t think that the red Ferrari would had jumped her on the first corner and for the rest of the race she’d play catch-up to none other than Charles himself. Not even when Robert had successfully slowed him down she had enough time to catch his tail even though she could have sworn she was only a few laps away from gaining that p6 from the Monegasque but of course he would deny she could catch him. With Charles it was always a game of catch, no matter when it was on or off the track. None the less, Sebastian had decided to throw a party in celebration for his win and after she and mick kind of made up? -Well she didn’t even know what they were anymore. She knew he still was weary of her due to what her brother had done those years ago but for now? Well for now she’d try and keep the relationship neutral grounds and try to rebuild their shattered friendship- anyway, she found herself in her hotel room, dressing for the party only to find herself aimlessly texting Charles whilst she was applying her makeup, she had to look decent didn’t she?

However, she didn’t *think* nor would she have ever had thought she would be finding herself seeing picks to *him* over what she wore underneath her clothes, it was what he asked for, wasn’t it? Or did she mistake that too for some kind of hidden code he always loved to flaunt around? Even through her doubt he still responded but this time with complaints over the set that was tightly hugging her frame so what did she think to do? Well she had another photo of herself stored away in the depths of her gallery, especially for occasions like this -even though she only took it because of impulse and wanting to look *pretty* for ‘someone’- she sent that too, only for him to be knocking at her door a few minutes later which didn’t Surprise her in all honesty, it was Charles after all. The boy was a speed demon even on foot as proven of the multiple times they’d try to outdo one another whenever it was within a car that could run up to 400 km/ph or on the solid earth and had to go on a morning run.

It could have been the thrill of winning, that adrenaline that pumped into your veins like a potent poison that made your veins burn with that deep passionate desire to accomplish better than the rest, better that your rivals, that could have been urging them to meet up. That, or Charles had a comment or two to say about what she wore, he always did. He was some kind of fashion icon and honestly? She absolutely adored dragging him along to shopping sprees in the late hours of the evenings, wearing dark shades and caps with maybe a scarf or pullover hiding their identities whilst browsing luxurious suits and dresses with him and after they were done? Get a burger and maybe even a coffee as some kind of reward for shopping. It was a tradition that they both loved to follow, especially whenever the stress of the track or just every day life of a f1 driver got too much for them, which in all honesty happened quite often seeing that the press loved pestering the drivers, especially whenever they’d had a successful or underachieving race.

However, she heard the rap against the door again successfully bringing her out from her mini-daydream and caused her feet to finally find the soft carpet beneath them as she made her way towards the door, hesitating on opening the dark oak before finally allowing into her desire to just see him again and turning the knob, only to be met with the face she knew she was a absolute simp for and she wouldn’t deny it, Charles was attractive and she knew she wasn’t the only one that thought that skin a way it made the blow softer to her ego. She gave him a genuine smile before ‘inviting’ him in by grabbing his wrist in her hand and pulling him inside, well that’s what she saw as a invitation anyway? Well… it was what she saw max do to Daniel but it was close enough and besides, she knew Charles wouldn’t care. Just like he didn’t seem to care when she locked the door behind them, finally leaving the two in their own little world also known as a hotel room. Not the nicest but definitely not the worst kind of setting she could have thought off.

She could have sworn she saw his eyes glint with a hidden mischief hidden behind those tree/blue orbs she could honestly stare into for the rest of her life. Great, her mind was already softening just at the presence of Charles around her. He always had this strange affect on her whenever he was near or around her, as if he were some kind of wizard that casted a spell on her. A spell that made her heart speed up, her eyes glint with a hidden happiness that only showed to a few people and of course that iconic grin that made the corner of her mouth curl up in a gentle, light, affectionate smile a few people had seen from her. Sure, a lot of people rarely got to see the genuine happy side of the Verstappen but that’s what she liked about herself, people who didn’t know her slightly feared her-mostly due to her brother max- but the moment, rarely though, if she accepted you as one of her friends you’d be welcomed with a happy, smiley side of xava that enjoyed taking risks and causing mischief if you got her in the mood for chaos.

However, this wasn’t one of the times she’d want to cause destruction, rather she was more in the mindset of teasing or rather flirting. Something that always came so naturally to her whenever she was texting the Monegasque or being in his presence just naturally found herself gravitating towards him, even if she tried to stop herself she couldn’t help it. And now? Well now she was trying to show her confidence around him, something she couldn’t help but flaunt around, but of course she had to feel how that little slither of nerves creep up her back the moment she saw his hand fly to his mouth, trying to close it as if it had been dislocated.”maybe I wanted you here to help me with my outfit choices.” She smiled, that innocent smile on her features not faltering.”you seemed to have quite the sense of fashion, no?” She added, seeing how the redness of his cheeks only darken but what she wasn’t expecting was his comment, suddenly pulling her from her confidence parade and making her gulp as if she just got splashed with a bucket of ice cold water. “I liked the black more… and I think you like being a little too much.”

Fuck, she was definitely not expecting that and especially not expecting his colossaled finger along the neckline of her dress, threatening to push the sleeve of her dress off her shoulder, which of course made her glance up at him, her eyes suddenly flaring a new emotion she knew all to well. A emotion she shared with him during those drunken kisses or late night talks that ended up with them tangled in each others arms only for her to wake up the next morning in empty, cold sheets. Maybe…maybe this time he’d learn from his past mistakes and he wouldn’t dare try it again? She could honestly barely even make out a thought at this point and what did she think was the best comeback? Well…”Maybe it is…Montre-moi à quel point tu l'aimes, Monegato.” She purred, trying desperately to claw on that last slither of independence she knew she was failing to keep her grip on.

Although, that was completely disintegrated the second she felt that finger slowly push her sleeve down her shoulder, exposing the bare skin with a strap or black lace clinging onto her skin as if it was clinging for dear life and of course Charles had to lean forward and graze his lips against the sensitive skin of her exposed neck and shoulder, a hand coming to land firmly on her side with his fingers slightly pressing into her skin just like the day they had gone on the yacht together, just like the day his heart had skipped a beat at the idea of her marking her territory even though he should have known that was only a fantasy he loved to daydream of, a fever dream he made himself believe. They were just friends…she had made sure of that. She…she deserved better than him but why did he crave to be around her? Or have her around him? Was it because somehow she always made a laugh escape his lips? Was it because she was pretty? Was he just doing this because he thought she was attractive? He knew she thought he was attractive as well but somehow that always felt like that wasn’t the only reason she was around him. He tried to push the thoughts to the back of his head as he murmured against her skin In his native tongue, smirking when he felt a chill run up her spine.”Est-ce ce que tu veux ? Chaton ?”

He knew she loved it whenever he spoke French, he knew it was one of her biggest turn ons and Charles being Charles made sure to take advantage of that. His one free hand that shifted from her waist now slowly crept it’s way up her side, all the way until he reached her second fully clothed shoulder and decided she was too dressed for his liking. His hand started slipping her dress off her second shoulder, being slow and careful with his actions in case he misunderstood what she wanted. If be misunderstood what this whole ‘meeting’ was for. However, his suspicions were confirmed by a single breathless sigh of delight escaping past her lips and honestly? It was music to his ears. “Merde, Charles…” she breathed, her eyes slightly half closed from the feelings of his warm lips against her skin which felt as if it were lit ablaze by each and every single touch he laid upon her. Every finger, every breath and- now, now his tongue decided to glide against the sensitive pulse on her neck and this time it drew a moan from her lips Ans for Charles? Well that was all what he needed.

A cocky smirk appeared upon his lips as he continued exploring the skin of her neck whilst his hands now made quick work of slipping off her dress, letting the cream colored fabric drop to the ground as if were some heavy burden. He took a moment for his fingertips to glide across the skin of her exposed side only to halter at the feeling of fabric beneath his digits, causing him to momentarily retreat from his position of attacking her neck with his lips to glance at her figure, this time dressed in nothing but the black lingerie that hugged her figure in all the right ways and Charles? Well for the second time that night he was left speechless at her beauty. God, what had he done to deserve to have- wait…’have’ didn’t fit did it? She wasn’t *his* and he wasn’t hers. She made that clear by the text. ‘I see you as a best friend’ god that still haunted him but it was the truth wasn’t it? This was just a thing between friends, nothing more. No strings attached. Well, that was what it was every time they hooked up but this time? Why did it feel so….personal? Vulnerable?

Xava was a absolute blushing mess in front of Charles, completely exposed to the Monegasque, showing her milky skin he had seen before but each time..each time she got more and more flushed and this time? Even more so due to how peaceful the atmosphere was. There was no rush, no need to finish before your rival. Just…something more intimate than she had originally expected.”Are you just going to stare or say something?” She quickly snapped, the blush not flattening on her cheeks only to see his gaze quickly snap from her figure to her lips, her eyes, her face. It didn’t take a moment for Charles to move forward and cup her cheek, pressing his lips against her own in a desperate kiss. Of course it was Immediately replicated by the Verstappen, her hands immediately finding his hair and pulling him closer towards her figure and deepening the kiss more until she had felt Charles dart his tongue across her bottom lip, asking for access, which she happily granted and for a solid minute their tongues wrestled one another, neither willing to give up or submit to the other. Something that happened quite frequently when two stubborn people were put together, neither wanted to back down from a challenge.

It was only when Charles had placed a hand on xava’s lower back, suddenly lifting her onto his hips which she of course immediately responded by wrapping her legs around his hips, feeling him take a few steps towards god knows where, their lips not stopping attacking one another’s in sloppy-open mouthed kisses, until a sharp Yelp escaped past xava’s lips as she suddenly felt her back hitting a soft mattress beneath her, causing her to look up with a confused frown only to realize what was happening and started blushing once again watching Charles smirk devilishly at the female driver, starting to remove his shirt and flinging it to a random corner of the room and knew it would be a pain in the ass to find later but for now that was the east of his worries. Next was his jeans, unbuttoning them and kicking them to the side only leaving him in his boxers and didn’t hesitate a moment longer to crawl on top or xava, the mattress dipping and misfirorming of their combined weights whilst he didn’t hesitate to press his lips against hers again, his hand coming up to cup her cheek again and pull her in for a deep kiss once more which was thankfully quickly replicated by the Verstappen, her kissing him back even deeper than what he had expected but he didn’t mind. How could he? He was fucking loving this and he was sure she was as well.

For a moment he pulled away, his forehead slightly resting against hers whilst he gazed into her sky blue eyes, searching for that glint of consent he needed before they did anything. Even if they had known each other for so so long he was still careful not to overstep a boundary that could potentially be hidden but…when he gazed into her eyes he saw nothing but pure adoration in her eyes, her pupils completely blown at the idea of what they were about to do and that’s exactly what he needed. He needed that desire from her, that passion to want to be taken. “Va te faire foutre charles” she quickly murmured, causing Charles not to wait a moment longer to start to trail kisses along the corner of her lips to her jaw…neck, and started to make his way towards her collarbones and made sure to suck and bite a few dark hickeys, which he was going to get scolded over later, but the delighted sounds and moans that he drew from her lips only urged him further to snake behind her back, trailing the slender digits against her bare skin and skillfully I clipped her bra from her figure, flinging it to another random corner of the room and didn’t even hesitate to lean down and trail a train of kisses down the cavity of her breasts, causing the female to suck in a sharp breath and slightly to arch her back from so little touch yet it felt like her skin was on fire from pure anticipation.

It was like a drug for Charles, those moans and sounds of utter want and delight only urging him forward to latch his red lips around her nipple which ultimately ended up with a sharp gasp and a cuss ,in Dutch he presumed, as he swirled his tongue around the sensitive nub of her nipple, his other hand simultaneously massaging her other mound upon her chest, punching and rolling the sensitive bud between his fingertips had xava moaning and pushing her head back into the bed beneath her head. A soft pant escaping past her lips as she tried to keep herself, her body, on control and not loose herself to Charles even though she knew that was inevitable. She knew what effect he had on her. She knew she was a sucker for his spell and she didn’t want to stop him, just…maybe delay it as bit to help her ego not be as bruised. Charles departed from her nipple, giving it one last swipe of the tongue, successfully earning another groan, before he slowly made his way down her chest, her stomach, right above where the last of the black fabric covered her body. His last obstacle, the last curb of the race. Yet again, was this really a race? Or a marathon?

Charles glanced up at xava, his eyes now having a complete different shade to them. A darkness lurked behind those usual green orbs of his, the smirk upon his lips only adding to the wetness between her legs which of course didn’t take long for him to notice.”Déjà mouillé pour moi ? Je suis honoré...” he purred in his French, his accent dripping heavily. His hand moved between her legs, slowly rubbing the fabric against her clothed heat which only caused her to moan again and squirm, she didn’t mean too it just kind of happened, but of course Charles grabbed her thigh, pinning it over his shoulder whilst his hand now pulled against the fabric against her hips, successfully ripping it off her frame which of course immediately earned a frown and a unhappy grunt from xava.”Charles! Come on, I just got those.” She whined, earning a chuckle from Charles as he dragged his lips against the inside of her thigh, his stubble slightly prickling her skin, which immediately caused her to shut up, exactly what Charles wanted. “I’ll buy you a new pair when we’re finished here…” he murmured against her skin, once more causing a chill to run down her spine just at the sheer tone of his voice.

Charles took a moment to lean down, kissing the top of her mound before he trailed kisses down her slit, making sure to plant a firm kiss against her clit, instinctively causing a loud moan from xava and- well, his hair now to be grasped between her fingers, tugging on his brown locks which in turn earned a groan from the Monegasque before he took the chance to slowly glide his warm tongue through her slit, dipping inside of her for a moment or two before moving to suck on her clit, his fingers finding her entrance with pure ease as he pushed two digits into her entrance, curling them against her g-spot ,which earned Charles another tug of his hair and a string of cuss words now leaving her lips, all of them in Dutch, her head pushing back into the pillows cushioning her squirming from just the sheer pleasure that he was Already giving her even though he barley had even begun. Xava ,however ,had other plans.

She groaned feeling Charles slowly start to thrust his fingers into her aching core, scissoring her aching walls which of course just in turn made her clench around him in sheer desperation and even before Charles had another thought, Xava had pulled him to meet face to face with the Monegasque, a new glint of…desire burning behind her sky blue eyes that were now clouded in a mist of sheer lust and desire for him. It had been *too long* since they’d had done this and honestly? She was craving each second of it.”Fuck me, Charles. Stop with the fucking teasing.” She whined, the determination she had thought existed in her voice completely faltering with each word she spoke which of course made the blush upon her cheeks only turn a shade deeper, fuck. Charles couldn’t help but feel his ego set ablaze to a blinding fury at her comment, his hand shaking up from her thigh, up her side, up her neck, until it finally reached her jaw, cupping it and slowly swiping his thumb over her bottom lip.”beg for it.”

That was all what she needed to make a chill run down her spine, her eyes becoming wide with a subtle innocence as she couldn’t help herself but to glide her tongue against the pad of this thumb, feeling a chill run down his spine in a turn of tables, before finally her hands started to explore the curves of his body, her delicate fingers dancing along the curves and edges of his skin as if he were some kind of masterpiece to be examined. She knew he loved it when she praised his body, his figure, anything that could put a boost to that already flaming ego of his. “please Monegato…fuck me, make me your little whore.” She murmured, her own stubbornness too high to pitch a note any louder to him. “Please fuck me like you mean it.” That held much more emotion, a hidden meaning, behind that phrase. Sure, in the heat of the moment it could have seen nothing more like a simple beg but for xava? Well that held a hidden desire. A hidden desire to *feel* connected to him. And somehow? Somehow Charles understood. Strangely enough.

“Good girl.” He growled, his French accent dripping thickly as he made quick work of his boxers, throwing them to a unknown side of the room, lining himself up at her entrance and this time leaning over her, his head hovering just a few centimeters above hers, as he slowly entered her. Watching her expression changed from a begging-innocent eyed gaze to a gasping, eye rolling moan that escaped her lips at once, her back instinctively arching off the bed and only causing him to suddenly thrust deeper inside of her, her soaked walls clenching around him tightly from the sudden action that left her breathless. She’d forgotten how he felt…stretching her walls, his breath on her neck and the best of all…his groan that left his lips only added to the wetness between her thighs. It didn’t take him a second to start thrusting into her at a steady pace at first, not wanting to overwhelm her.

Xava honestly already was in a state of bliss, each and every single movement he made inside of her felt so fucking good, each and every single time the crown of his tip ‘kissed’ her cervix drove her wild and she knew Charles knew that, making sure to brush up against her g-spot with each and every single thrust whilst he found himself biting and kissing and even sucking at her neck, shoulder and collarbone knowing full well he’d probably have a earful from xava later but he didn’t give a fuck. While they were this close…this intimate with one another, he didn’t care that they were ‘just friends.’ That seemed unrealistic to him. It seemed so far fetched than rather than delving into the fact, he mostly occupied his thoughts of the feeling of their bodies pressed up against one another, sweaty skin brushing against one another and moans, groans and even yelps of Surprise when he had suddenly picked up his pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin now evident in the room followed by both their combined groans- which was haltered momentarily when he picked up his head only to crash his lips against Xava’s in a passionate, sloppy open mouthed kiss, both of them fighting for who would turn out the victor.

However, what he wasn’t expecting was to feel her hands suddenly on his bare back, clawing down the skin- no doubt leaving marks- which urged a louder, more delighted moan from the French tongued male which in turn made xava start to attack his exposed neck, sucking dark hickeys and bite marks on his skin, and only causing him to now roughly grip her hips, his fingertips tugging into her skin and leaving descent half moon shapes, and immediately picking up his pace again and now rapidly slammed himself into her repeatedly which only started building that knot within her stomach all the much closer to snapping. It didn’t help when she felt this thumb start to rub against her clit in rapid, sensual circles which in turn only earned deeper claw marks on Charles’ skin, constant swears and soft praises being whispered in French was all too much for the Dutch, her features absolutely blissed out from all the different sensations that was happening at the same time that even tears of pleasure started to prick in the corner of her eyes. “C-Charles-!” She started, Charles already knowing what was coming next.

“Sperme pour moi, chaton” he purred in her ear, exactly the last nudge she needed to finally come undone around Charles, a loud moan escaping past her lips, which contained his name at that, whilst her back completely arched off the bed. Her walls clenching around his throbbing member and he had to physically restrain himself not to come deep inside of her walls, mostly because he’d get killed if he did, and pulled out the last second, releasing onto her stomach and chest, coating her skin in a white residue.

Charles rested his head against xava’s for a few brief moments, their pants mixing with one another’s as they lazily stared into each other’s eyes as if they were still processing what had just happened. When they had somewhat gained back their stolen air, xava leaned up and connected her lions with Charles’ again but this time the kiss wasn’t hasty and needed. It…was soft, gentle, genuine….some might even say caring. Charles’ hand coming up to once more cup her cheek as he too poured hi)self into the kiss, it turning into a show of passion and pure care for the others party.

They kept this going until xava unwilling yielded, once again their air mixing with one another but this time a silence fell upon them both, their eyes locked in a silent staring contest. God, had they just done that? “That was…” xava started, a small blush starting to creep onto her cheeks once more. “Merveilleux, comme toi” Charles finished, his thumb stroking a soft and gentle line across her cheek which xava leaned into, pressing a small and genuine kiss to his palm of his hand. Charles…felt something flutter within him at that, his expression softening even more as he leaned forward and placed a soft and gentle kiss to her forehead before unwillingly pulling himself off her and walking towards the bathroom and leaning himself firstly before he retuned with a warm Ferrari themed washcloth and waltzed over to Xava who was now glancing up at the Monegasque in his half named glory- he had probably grabbed his boxers when he was in the bathroom- while xava had grabbed her a pair of panties- Before he made his way over to her, slowly swiping all the sticky whittle residue off her skin before he finally threw that too to the side and crawled into bed besides her slowly.

It wasn’t a second before she had found herself being spooned by the slightly taller male, his hands resting around her waist and his head resting on top of hers, his legs in twined with her own while she could hear and feel his soft breathing ghosting against her neck. For the first time in a long, long time she had finally…felt at peace. She felt safe, warm, happy.. genuinely happy. She felt how her muscles eased at his figure hugging her own and almost instinctively felt how eyes slowly started to become droopy from the exhaustion from their activities they had done together but also the sheer relief from having him *stay* with her. It was a wonder how the hell he had such a calming affect on her but she couldn’t help it, she felt so at peace with him. So relaxed…so warm, some might even argue *Loved* but she definitely thought that it maybe have been too strong of a word. They were only friends after all…weren’t they?

`5 hours later, 2:34am, Monday.`

Charles was the first one to wake up at a unreasonable hour of the night, his eyes snipping open and for a hot second confusion filled his thoughts as he couldn’t quite understand what happened. Where was he? Who- his thoughts were quickly dismissed at the sleeping form besides him, face pushed up into his chest with a expression so…innocent. Wholesome, soft…happy…he could have sown he felt his heart melt at the sight of xava peacefully asleep in *his* arms. Her cheeks slightly flushed from the warmth of the blanket that surrounded them both and the moonlight almost perfectly illuminating her features just enough for him to gaze at her for a moment longer, his fingertips gently brushing a strand of her hair back behind her ear, watching the auburn/blonde strands freely tuck behind her ear and become one with the hoard of other strands that freely flowed behind her head. He could have sworn he felt that flutter again, that moment his lips twitched up in a affectionate smile… one that was caused just at the sight of her.

Maybe he shouldn’t have been so distant with her…playing with her feelings as if it were some hardcore game of cat & mouse…maybe he shouldn’t have given her so many mixed signals. Maybe he should just be- *open* with her. But god, did he have too? Did he have to take that risk with her? His face started to furrow in confusion and well- uncertainty as he slowly started to unlock himself from xava’s embrace, thankfully finding his phone easily after he had slipped off the bed and used it’s flashlight to find his clothes, putting it on piece by piece he had scavenged around the room. Hopefully no one would be around the halls this late of night… he glanced back at xava for a second, a second too long in his book, before finally gained the guts to make his way towards the door where his hand hesitated in the knob, his fingers gliding against the brass. For a moment, just a single moment he hesitated. He could have easily gone back to bed and continued sleeping the night away with her…he could have easily acted like he didn’t want to run again but…what was he thinking?

He couldn’t do this. Fuck sakes, they were Friends. Fucking…friends.. he messed up. He shouldn’t have come here in the first place. He shouldn’t have done what they did together…he made a huge mistake and he knew it. His face scrunched up in a new expression, frustration, as he finally gripped the knob and opened the door, trying to be silent as possible, and walked past it, once again closing it behind him with a click of the handle sliding into the wall again. He stood there for a moment, a small sigh escaping his lips as he made his way down the hallway, his thoughts clouded and his face constantly scrunched up in anger, frustration…so many emotions but too many to name.

That night Xava laid in bed, wide awake with tears staining her cheeks and the pillow beneath her that still smelled like *him*.

[stargirlfics]

AMALIA PLZ ANSWER THIS: I have been dying to know what in the fuck the Robert Pattinson lighthouse scene is. And do you have a clip of it Ty. 👩🏾‍💻👩🏾‍💻👩🏾‍💻👩🏾‍💻👩🏾‍💻🏃🏾‍♀️💨

Are you talking about the scene where he fucks a mermaid? Lol that’s I guess thEE scene although the entire movie is…a trip to say the least, they might have it on YouTube and the movie is on hbo max too but I remember it only being a couple seconds cause it’s supposed to be a fever dream type thing, it’s just a flash of him on top of a mermaid and then it shows the mermussy lmaoo