#reframing negative thoughts

[haveacupofjohanny]

Letting Go of Control: A Guide to Thriving in Teamwork and Community

🌟 Letting go of control doesn’t mean losing your standards—it means trusting your team and thriving together! 🌟 This week on The Have a Cup of Johanny Podcast, we’re diving into the power of collaboration and letting go of control.

As a self-proclaimed control enthusiast, I’ve always found comfort in having a firm grip on things. Controlling outcomes feels safe, predictable, and, let’s be honest, efficient. But life, especially in teamwork and community environments, has taught me a powerful lesson: sometimes, letting go of control is the only way to achieve success. Letting go is not easy, but it’s necessary. If you’ve…

[goonnotes]

the "green light" mindset

my inner critic struggles with me for the steering wheel. she is a loud, bossy, and demeaning backseat driver. she knows all of my insecurities and isn't afraid to weaponize them against me so she can be in control instead. she always thinks she knows best, even when there's no basis for her opinion.

when i commute to school and back, i am generally relaxed. even when i'm running late, i recognize that no amount of worrying will rewind time, and that any amount of impatience can lead me to the hospital, the courthouse, or the grave. so i just enjoy this ride for what it is -- average, habitual, just part of the thousands and thousands of miles i will travel in my life time. i won't remember every single moment, but i will be grateful that i took those roads and explored the places i did.

i procrastinate because i am afraid of getting stuck in gridlock once i enter the freeway. however, many of my tasks and responsibilities are not freeways, they are drives through suburbia and although they maybe include more frequent stops, i don't typically get stuck in any one location for too long. when the traffic light turns green, i simply drive forward. when the traffic light turns red, i simply rest and wait my turn. i can add as many stops as i want along the way if i see an opportunity to do so, i can take detours when there are accidents ont he road, and after i get more familiar with traffic patterns, i can find shortcuts or prettier routes. i don't have to take the same route every time if i don't feel like it. i can trust my internal gps to figure out the extra time for stops and surrounding amenities.

i think i can treat schoolwork the same way. i don't need to complain and burn screeching rubber to stop at every red light (e.g. external obligations like lectures, meetings, career fairs, deadlines), same way that i don't need to jump out of my seat and rip off my shirt, ready a can of beer to shotgun at every green light (e.g. unwisely filling my slots of free time with overindulgent activities that are sometimes detrimental to my health). i can just work on my tasks piecemeal, without extra pressure to juuuuust squeeze myself into the stale yellow light or to make a risky unprotected turn because i don't want to get honked at. sometimes i will need to rush or cut corners, but i don't have to treat every opportunity to work on something as 100% completion or hackjob. not every commute has to be notable, nor does it have to be terrible. it just happens. and they don't have to matter too much.

it's better for me to free up my mind and soak in the destination. and see the choices available to me now that i'm not preoccupied about the traffic violations or roadragers or the missed turns on the way to the place. i'm here, that's what counts.

[laquilasse]

how you been? im happy to see you post again even just once. i hope everything is okay for you :)

I’ve been ok! Recovering from burnout has been an incredibly slow process but I’m happy to feel myself finally getting there. Thanks for your kind words and support ❤️

[thelostgirl21]

Seriously, I wish people would stop reading into my tone so much, and trust my words when I communicate.

If I say I'm not being dismissive of your thoughts and ideas, I'm not being dismissive of your thoughts and ideas.

If I say I'm fine with you holding and sharing views that differ from mine, then I'm fine with you holding and sharing views that differ from mine.

If I seem to struggle with understanding a concept and I say it makes no sense, it's always it makes no sense TO ME (how in the world could I ever know how it makes sense to others?! I'm not in their brains, and can only speak for myself!!! It makes no sense *TO ME* that I could ever be saying that what you say makes no sense to anyone else but myself!!!)!

If I ask "how else can this be understood?" or "how else am I supposed to understand this?", I'M NOT ACCUSING YOU OF BEING UNCLEAR, FOR FRAK'S SAKE!

I'm genuinely asking you to explain your own interpretation, so I can conceptualize where you are coming from, and how you are perceiving things!

It means I really, sincerely, don't understand what you are trying to say to me, am asking for a pause and for some clarification, and will likely continue to ask the same question over and over again until you either frame that explanation in a way that makes sense *TO ME*, or I can see we utterly fail to connect on that subject, and should simply move on.

"You sound like you're trying to dismiss...", "It seems like you think..."

I have no idea how to properly convey tone in written forms of conversation, and am usually more comfortable communicating while phrasing things in a way that I've been told "sounds academic".

That's literally just how I talk and how my brain works. I'm not attempting to "sound pretentious" or anything. I speak that way.

And while I interpret informations and draw conclusions based on whatever data and information I've got available, I will readily change and modify it in light of any new information that comes my way.

I make tons of connections between information all of the time and get fascinated by them, and see the world as a bunch of ideas and concepts.

Please don't mistake my enthusiasm or assertiveness when speaking about any subject I'm passionate about with stubbornness or rigidity.

On the contrary, my thoughts and ideas remain extremely fluid and flexible, and I'm not scared in the least of being wrong and of making mistakes. I have no ego in that sense.

I'll be the first to embrace being mistaken as mistakes are an absolutely fantastic learning tool.

How else would I be expected to grow?

I can't easily change my tone, but I can clearly state my intent using words.

So, if I say "that's not what I meant", and especially "that's not how I meant it", can you at least give me the frakking benefit of the doubt, and give me time to clarify my thoughts and find a way of phrasing them that will hopefully allow you to understand the message I'm sending, before assuming you know what I intended to say better than I do basing that assumption on how I sound?

And perhaps, conceive of the thought that there's a huge difference between thinking you may be right and knowing you're right with absolute certainty.

Other P.O.V. being valid does not mean I remotely have to agree with them, or say they are right, either. Simply respect that people see things differently than I do.

And I do.

I may be wrong and you may be right. Or I may be right and you may be wrong.

Hopefully, you think you're right; otherwise I see absolutely (I SEE... my opinion / perception / interpretation... Look, I'm not taking any chances anymore by this point!) no point in you arguing something that you believe to be deeply wrong.

Do people do that outside of playing devil's advocate? Or listing possibilities they've yet to make up their minds about?

How does this even work?!

Ah, for me?! Or to me?!

Look, I'm wondering how does this even work, but without denying the possibility that it may make sense and work for others...

Ah...

What I'm trying to say is "I'm basically confused about why we're supposed to feel self-conscious or "bad" about thinking or hoping we've got the right interpretation, until we detect a flaw in our logic and then come up with a new one in light of new information we've gathered, or being exposed to/gaining some novel perspective on a subject..."

Does that make any sense?

But yeah, I am utterly unable to tell if people are bored or upset with a subject when I'm talking or arguing with them in person...

So how can I be expected to read into what kind of emotions my arguments are going to inspire in others, or what part of my phrasing might upset them, if no one is telling me how to rephrase thing?

Especially when it's just words on a screen with no clear tone indicator.

"When you say this, it makes me feel this, perhaps you could phrase it like that instead?" would be extremely helpful!

Rather than "you sound like this" or "you're making it sound like that..."

I can't figure it out by myself. I don't hear that "sound". It's a very abstract notion, the idea that my arguments might "sound" like anything.

I need clear rules and systems to properly communicate. That's just how I'm wired, and no amount of wishful thinking or good will on my part is going to magically make me be able to hear those subjective sounds coming off my words.

[reminem69]

i have the best mental therapy sessions when I'm high

[fabdante]

they should invent a way to be an artist with less rejection emails

[valtsv]

one thing tumblr has unironically done to improve my mental health is completely rewrite how i view disgust as a concept. there is no higher compliment to me than being told i have something wrong with me and should be ashamed of myself when i'm just living my life in a way that is perhaps odd and hard to understand, but ultimately as harmless as you can get in our society. which probably wasn't the intention of all the advice i got in therapy to reframe my negative thought patterns as more positive ones, but it's doing great things for me.

[veronicawalshcbt]

Self acceptance and embracing who you are - with CBT visualisation and new self talk

[optimalmindsetllc]

Is Overthinking hurting your Relationships?

Overthinking can significantly strain relationships by causing emotional distance, irritability, and insecurity. Individuals preoccupied with their thoughts often struggle to be present with loved ones, leading to misunderstandings and feelings of neglect. Addressing overthinking through mindfulness, open communication, and professional support can improve both personal well-being and interpersonal connections.

In today’s world, our minds are constantly buzzing with thoughts, worries, and what-ifs. While some level of introspection is healthy, chronic overthinking can seep into every aspect of our lives, including our relationships. We often focus on the personal toll of overthinking – the sleepless nights, the constant anxiety, the difficulty concentrating. But what about the impact on our connections…

[livechristcentered]

Overcoming Self-Doubt

How to Silence Your Inner Critic and Build Confidence Introduction: The Battle Against Self-Doubt Have you ever wanted to try something new—start a business, change careers, or simply put yourself out there—only to hear that little voice in your head whispering:  “You’re not good enough.”  “What if you fail?”  “Who do you think you are to do this?”  That voice? That’s self-doubt—one of the…

[realestateinvesting001]

Simple Strategies for a Positive Money Mindset Every Day 💸🌟

Hey everyone! If you’re looking to feel more confident and empowered with your money, you’re in the right place. Today, I’m sharing simple tips that can help you build a positive money mindset every single day. Let’s dive in and start feeling more in control of our finances! Why Your Money Mindset Matters 💭💰 Your mindset shapes how you approach money. If you see money as stressful or hard to…

[thefemigirl]

Small Life Tips - Prt. 1

Life Environment

▪ Organize and declutter your space Deep clean your home and get rid of items that don’t bring joy or value.

▪ Add beauty to your surroundings Place something inspiring and beautiful in every room.

▪ Keep your goals visible Display your vision board in a spot where you’ll see it daily.

Positive Mindset

▪ Express gratitude daily Write in a gratitude journal each evening to reflect on positive moments.

▪ Reframe your thoughts Focus on speaking positively rather than dwelling on negatives.

▪ Uplift your spirit Listen regularly to affirmations or motivational messages.

▪ Process emotions healthily Find a sustainable outlet to release stress and negative feelings.

Self-Care

▪ Upgrade your wardrobe Replace outdated clothes with outfits that make you feel confident and fabulous.

▪ Polish your appearance Keep your nails groomed and looking their best.

▪ Embrace signature scents Find a fragrance you love and wear it every day.

[glowup-princess]

ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴄᴏɴꜰɪᴅᴇɴᴛ

Confidence comes from a mix of mindset, practice, and experience.

1. Shift Your Mindset

Stop Overthinking – Don’t let self-doubt paralyze you.

Embrace Imperfection – No one is perfect, and mistakes help you grow.

Reframe Negative Thoughts – Replace “I can’t” with “I’ll try.”

2. Develop Strong Body Language

Stand Tall – Good posture exudes confidence.

Make Eye Contact – Shows self-assurance.

Speak Clearly & Steadily – Avoid mumbling or rushing.

3. Gain Knowledge & Skills

Learn & Prepare – The more you know, the more confident you’ll feel.

Practice – Repetition builds comfort and confidence.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone – Growth happens when you take risks.

4. Take Action

Fake It Till You Make It – Act confident, and soon it’ll feel natural.

Celebrate Small Wins – Acknowledge progress, no matter how small.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People – Positive energy boosts confidence.

Fake it until you make it <3

pt.2??

Likes, comments, reblogs and follows are appreciated <3

[sallysfairytale]

LEVEL UP GUIDE PT. 1 - MINDSET

Society is fcked up. Many people around us are caught up in addictions to drugs, alcohol, or the party lifestyle. Others are struggling with deep depression and a lack of motivation and a screen time higher than the hours of sleep they get each night.

Believe me, I know. Staying disciplined has never been more challenging than it is today - especially with all the easy distractions around us every minute.

If you're also stuck and you do wanna break this cycle of yours then you need to start with your mindset! Your mindset is the base for everything! 📁 Practice Gratitude - Spend a few minutes of your day by writing down 3 things you're grateful for - Shift your focus to what you have, not what you lack.

📁 Challenge Negative Thoughts - Replace “I can’t” with “How can I?” - Reframe setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow.

📁 Set Clear Goals - Break your big dreams into smaller, actionable steps. - Focus on progress, not perfection.

📁 Surround Yourself with Positivity - Spend time with people who inspire and uplift you. - Limit exposure to negativity, whether from people or social media.

📁 Embrace Growth - View failures as lessons, not defeats. - Stay curious and open to new experiences.

📁 Develop Daily Affirmations - Use statements like, “I am capable of achieving great things.” - Repeat them daily to reinforce self-belief.

📁 Prioritize Self-Care - Get enough sleep, eat well, and stay active. - A healthy body supports a healthy mind.

📁 Learn to Let Go - Release grudges and resentment—they only weigh you down. - Practice forgiveness for others and yourself.

📁 Focus on Solutions, Not Problems - Train your brain to look for answers instead of dwelling on challenges. - Practice asking, “What can I do about this?”

📁 Stay Consistent - Small, positive actions done daily lead to big changes over time. - Build habits that align with the person you want to become.

xoxo, sally...

pic1 | pic2 | pic3

[realprissygirl]

a few things i’ve been obsessed with lately

1. body glitter. literally i can’t leave the house lately without making sure my chest, legs and hands shimmer. my fav choice will be my in the stars and into the night glowtions along with my diamond shimmer mists from b&bw. also love that new shimmer pure seduction shimmer body mist from vs.

2. mixed metals. stacking my sterling silver and gold charm bracelets and layering different colored necklaces feels so luxurious to me.

3. champagne gold. refer back to #2. i have a skin tone that looks good with gold and sterling silver. so when recently shopping and trying on tops i fell in love with the shade “gilver”.

4. black satin. buying new sheets and i bought some new black satin pillow cases to compliment my bedroom scheme and it’s such a classy and minimal touch.

5. hyper feminine music videos by black artists. been loving watching mariah carey and toni braxton videos. not to mention lyssithadoll’s check on it by beyonce costume #devoured

6. girly youtube. been binging youtube lately. not just for fun but for inspo. i have a list posted of my fav youtube girlies. been loving maintenance day vlogs and can’t wait to record some.

7. scripting. affirming and listening to subs while writing out my manifestations has been so fun and i’m an actual master manifestor sooo

8. my natural curly hair. sometimes i don’t feel like doing my hair to run out and check off errands. my hair has been in such a beautiful healthy state i literally don’t need any styling products, conditioner, nothing. just edge control and water and i’m out the door.

9. stylist videos. been watching a lot of hair stylists do hair on youtube (about to get a vixen sew in) the art of cosmetology is so prissy and will always be a worthwhile career choice.

10. gratitude and thought reframing. in the past i spent a lot of time complaining and being sad about everything that wasn’t going right for me when i’m literally so fucking blessed. like i have so much to be happy for. also affirming negative thoughts does nothing but make them more valid. i’m glad ive stopped