#how to stop bad thoughts

[mawguai]

I want to go back and talk to you

[zazrichor]

B A D W O L F

[puppyeared]

horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

[skunkes]

[welcometogrouchland]

Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)

[faerieomenart]

KURT ART GO! Sí, sí, y más. Another art dump. Close ups. VVV

I love fuzzy Kurt but I can't draw it well for my life :(( some Gambit and Rogue to heal the soul btw. They're in love ok ok? Btw beared Kurt in the sketch dump is my phone lockscreen, just calling myself out. And my background is the doodle of myself fawning over him aksjdkj. No shame.

Also have no idea how to draw Kurt consistently rip. Sorry to anyone who tries and cares to read all the random notes, idk why I do that, but they're not important ajskjsk.

Lost the dates drawn, but idc bc they are recent.

[yrsonpurpose]

lust. for power.

[nyxronomicon]

But Endeavor, whose only been a perfunctory fucker now eating pussy, your pussy, for the first time and he just does the messiest job of it. Just down there exploring every fold with his fat fingers- hearts in his eyes and juice in his chin

ANON... 🥴🥴🥴 please you are so right all he knows is breeding... (RIP don't look at me) he's gotta learn how to eat someone out sometime...

Endeavor x gn!reader (w vagina) cw: messy messy oral, fingering (thick fingers...), rough, overstim, reader squirts pet names: baby

.

"Higher- ah!" Your sharp moan told him that he found the right spot, his tongue flicking your clit. He was clumsy and awkward, like he didn't quite know how to move his mouth now that he'd found your sweet spot. Your fingers slid into his hair as his lips wrapped around your bundle of nerves.

You briefly looked at him, seeing his piercing blue eyes gazing back at you. There was a dusting of pink on his cheeks, uncertainty seeping onto his features. You wanted to tell him how adorable it was, how much you were in love with this version of Enji Todoroki. But you knew better, he wouldn't take that compliment well. He'd get hyper masculine, pin you down before getting rough and pounding his heavy cock into you.

He tried to pull away out of insecurity, but you tugged his hair with just enough force to keep him between your thighs. "Want you right here." You held him in place, seeing his eyes widen slightly and the flush of his cheeks become a deeper red.

The bashful expression lasted less than a moment, his eyes flickering closed as he sucked your clit. When he opened them again, they were full of determination. Enji suddenly pulled your hips closer to the edge of the bed to get a better angle. You felt his thick fingers dance between your folds, throwing your head back as he teased you.

"Enji," you moaned his name, arching your back as a finger pushed into you. Your cunt practically sucked him in, and he groaned as he imagined his throbbing cock getting the same treatment.

There was a glisten of sweat clinging to your skin. Your fingernails dug into his scalp as he sucked your clit hard, flicking at the bud with his tongue as his finger searched your pussy for your g-spot. A second finger pushed into you, your core throbbing for more. You threw your head back, losing control of your body as you could feel pleasure creeping up your spine.

You were so fucking sexy. He needed to taste your cum on his lips. It was all he could think as his fingers pressed your g-spot, instantly pulling lewd sounds from your lips. He smirked, his tongue now only lightly swirling around your clit as he focused on finger-fucking you. You were close, he could tell from the way you tightened around him.

"That's it, baby." He growled into your pussy, "cum for me." With another rough suck on your bundle of nerves, he prodded your g-spot relentlessly. His blue eyes were trained on you, watching every minute change as your breath hitched.

Your cunt tipped over the edge with ecstasy, Enji holding you in place as he continued his ministrations. It quickly spread through your whole body, thighs twitching as you felt yourself getting oversensitive. You mumbled his name, writhing in his grip as you rode out the orgasm.

"Just a lil' more..." He continued, "c'mon baby," his motions intensified, sensitivity instantly sending a more intense wave of pleasure through you. You could feel yourself squirt into his mouth, almost embarrassing had he not immediately started licking the essence from your folds.

He cleaned you out like a starved man, slowly and gently letting you come down from your high. He continued to watch you with adoration in his gaze, his cock throbbing with desire. When he finally pulled away from your cunt, you saw his smirk drenched in your juices.

"How was that?" He spoke quietly, but with confidence. Your expression and the fact that you were still catching your breath told him the answer.

"Not bad for a first timer." You chuckled through heavy breaths.

"Oh?" He climbed on top of you with a grin, pinning your arms above your head. "How 'bout I show you my expertise?"

.

@rottiens if I have to brainrot about this man you do too

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[rurivu]

guys, they're different

but they're both good

[icarusredwings]

Married- working- at- the - school Poolverine is a menace to society and makes Scott want to quit his job so bad.

Today at 8 am he was woken up by "Single Ladies" being played through out the school and when He, The headmaster Mr. Summers, came out of his office there was his newest employee, in full uniform doing the entire choreography to said song.

🎶I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips.

Got me tighter in my Dereon jeans

Acting up, drink in my cup

I can care less what you think🎶

Sometimes Mr. Wilson does a point and a move that may not be part of the dance, and Mr. Summers can't help but to feel as if he's being mocked. It becomes especially bad when he realizes that Mr. Howlett is lazily leaning on the banister, admiring the show and drinking hot coffee.

🎶He needs no permission, did I mention

Don't pay him any attention!

Cause you had your turn and now you gonna learn

What it really feels like to miss him🎶

It's this verse he notices the words are changed when said employee came to grab Mr. Howletts face and specifically turn him away from the headmaster.

🎶Cause if you liked'em then you should have put a ring on it

If you liked'em you shoulda put a ring on it

Don't be mad once you see that I want it

If you liked him then you shoulda put a ring on it🎶

By now, the Headmaster is glaring with a semi look of disgust and disrespect, blinking slowly and gave a look to Mr. Howlett.

"Are you doing to do something about this?"

Only for him to smirk softly and shrug. "Im not the headmaster, remember?"

It leaves Mr. Summers no choice but to either stand here and endure the obvious pettiness or to close his door, which infact is slammed a lot harder than he thought.

🎶Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh🎶

Logan smiles, feeling satisfied about pissing him off for the day, and proud of Wade for his dance number. Today is going to be a good day. He could feel it.

And the best part? He had a contract that said unless Wade became dangerous towards the children, He couldn't fire him because they were a package deal.

You want the Wolverine? Deal with Deadpool.

[mae-i-scribble]

tonight i was thinking about orv’s theme about how yjh as a character, and to a larger extent people, will in some ways always be unknowable. (orv spoilers following, read at your own risk)

i feel like i’ve seen a few posts on here that somewhat take this theme to an extreme, leaning *hard* into that “kdj doesn’t actually know yjh like at all” which while on the right track, i feel completely misses the point. Orv goes out of its way to showcase that kdj actually understands yjh to a scary degree, even once they’re out of the early scenarios and the gap between kdj’s knowledge and yjh’s personhood grows larger, there are still things about yjh that *only* kdj can fundamentally understand. And I don’t think that the novel does anything to discredit that understanding, only says that there is much more to yjh. In the same manner, even if you’ve known someone for years, spent all your time with them, there can and will always be new things for you to learn about them. The danger that orv speaks of is trusting in that assumption, that your understanding will be enough and you don’t have to keep an eye out for more developments. That the person you know will forever stay the same. And this isn’t a kdj problem either, fundamentally a lot of the big disagreements that happen between kdj and yjh in the latter half of the novel are born from both of them misconstruing what the other is thinking, trusting that their understanding of the other is deep enough to base their judgements off of. (Post first murim destruction, divorce arc, yjh thinking kdj scattered his soul on purpose, etc.)

As always with orv’s themes, we can view it in a meta sense as well. Kdj’s understanding of yjh as a character is so complete that it’s nearly flawless- until the story begins to deviate and a yjh grows outside the parameters that kdj’s judgements are based on. Even before then, there was always more to yjh- but as readers, we can only understand a character as much as we see them. What you come away with from a story is your complete understanding, there is no growth outside of those boundaries because then it wouldn’t be an understanding of *that* character, you would be putting your own ideas and such into it. But talk to another person, and suddenly the same character you understand so clearly becomes someone else. Talk to the author, and they say something completely different. And can one truly claim to understand a character when the story will never talk about them in every conceivable way? What does it take to truly understand such a thing? Learning that 1863rd round hsy wrote ways of survival with such limited resources and knowledge on who yjh even is, and yet despite it all, still manages to write a story that captures so much of his essence. As orv readers, we know it isn’t everything- it could never encapsulate all of yjh, but the idea that even when one knows nearly nothing, you can still put on a facade of understanding.

We can get into a chicken or the egg argument with this, as 1863!hsy dictates how yjh acts with her writing, and that yjh in the 1863rd round is the one she comes to know before ever starting this story, but when it comes to this theme of the unknowable in the people around us, I don’t think this sort of debate is worth much. We know that yjh exists outside the story written, and how much of him is determined by hsy’s writing is negligible because no matter what, he always grows beyond it. Whether as 1864 or secretive plotter, it all comes back to that same point of there is always more to see within a person.

I don’t know quite where I want to go with this, only that I wanted an outlet for some of these thoughts inside my head, but one of the best things about this theme for me is how it answers itself. When the people around you become unrecognizable, what should you do? And orv says to reach out. To try. To understand. Kdj loses access to omniscient reader several times but always, always gains it back in orv (as far as i remember), because at the end of the day, he is not someone who stays trapped in his idea of who he knows yjh to be. Yjh too, even at the end of orv, is trying to learn more and more about kdj. Only when you are willing to hear out the other person, to learn about them every day, does this unknowable aspect become something less daunting.

[harbingersecho]

[tragedy-for-sale]

Brother I Love

@zaana made a post in which Hunter is the lovey-dovey type of drunk and naturally I really had to write about it.

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Tech had his back turned to his older brother. He listened to Hunter's seemingly silent winces, his shaky, ragged breaths. Tech closed his eyes, he'd already stitched Hunter up, already applied bacta patches, already did everything he could to help his brother's pain, he couldn't do anything else. Tech glanced to look at Hunter, his eyes were closed, hand gingerly tracing his wound. "I'll be back." Tech promptly said, walking to where Wrecker and Echo were waiting.

"Well?" Echo had been with him when it happened, and he had failed to keep Hunter safe. "How's he fairing, Tech?"

"He's in pain." Tech walked over to the fridge, opening it up and staring into the cold void, "He's in pain because he has broken ribs and three stab wounds, and we're not in a position to get him to a bacta tank." Tech shook his head, grabbing the cold blaster and putting it into his holster. Tech thought about suffocating Hunter just a little bit so he'd pass out and rest, but of course his stubborn ass remained conscious the entire time.

"What can we do?" Wrecker asked, standing up and walking to the fridge, was Tech really hungry right now? Wrecker usually waited at least an hour after a sour mission to eat. Wrecker looked at the door, "We need to go get more supplies, there's a village not too far."

"I agree. Tech?" Echo asked, they could leave now, Crosshair would be out of the shower soon and would watch Hunter until then.

Tech didn't say anything, he narrowed his eyes at the two bottles. "Yes, yes," Tech waved his hand as he reached for a bottle, opening it and smelling it. He wouldn't need anything too strong; Hunter was already such a lightweight. "Echo, power down the Marauder." Tech ordered as he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and set it on the counter.

Echo gave Tech a look, especially after seeing the bottle in his brother's hand. Day drinking wasn't usually Tech's thing, but Echo could really use one too. "We taking shots before heading out?" Wrecker laughed as he pulled down glasses.

"No." Tech said, shoving all but one glass back. He felt the Marauder go quiet and he sighed. Tech opened the bottle and poured a glass. This was the only thing he could think of to hold his older brother over until they got back. Now, Hunter would be the most annoying person ever but it was the best choice. For some reason. He walked back over to Hunter, he'd laid back, his breathing was short and shallow. "Drink this." Tech held out the glass.

Hunter opened his eyes, he barely had enough time to process what was in the glass before Tech had forced him to down it. "Whiskey?" Hunter coughed, whincing and pressing his hand against his wound.

"Yes." Tech poured another and held it out.

"Uh, Tech, can't say alcohol is going to help him any." Echo raised an eyebrow watching as Tech poured him a third glass. "Like, at all Tech." Echo's voice strained. Wrecker looked around the Marauder, that's why Tech had Echo power down the Marauder

Tech helped Hunter lay back down. He grabbed his helmet, putting it on before looking back to Echo, "Hunter is still in pain, alcohol will at least dull some of that pain until we return with proper equipment." It was clear Tech wasn't going to take Echo's objections.

"With only three shots?" Echo had seen Fives down at least eight before a blaster shot wasn't so bad.

"Ha, yeah, his lightweight ass can't handle more than that." Wrecker laughed as the main door opened and he walked down the ramp. Though he'd joked, Wrecker felt a great deal of worry. If they had to leave before Hunter had sobered up, the electromagnetic frequencies of the Marauder would be enough to completely overwhelm Hunter. Wrecker didn't want Hunter to be in more pain. He looked back to Tech, he was worrying about the same exact thing.

Crosshair stepped out of the refresher to a silent ship, he noticed someone had cut the lights and he spent the entire time coming up with the perfect comeback, but no one was here. "Figures." He rolled his eyes.

"Cross-" A giddy voice whispered. Crosshair looked around, "Cross, psst-" Crosshair turned and walked over to Hunter, who was laying on the big mattress. Tech must've finished patching him up and they all left?

"Hey, Hunter," Crosshair mumbled as he scanned the area, an empty shot glass, "Where'd everyone go?" He asked. Hunter's eyes were closed, Crosshair reached out, poking his brother's face, his cheeks were hot and flushed.

"-Cross can I tell you something?" Hunter whispered, opening his eyes. Crosshair let out a sigh as he checked the dressing on Hunter's wounds. "Cross-"

"Yes, Hunter?" Crosshair rolled his eyes as he continued to do a quick check-up on his vitals.

"I love you," Hunter reached out, poking Crosshair's shoulder, "Love ya, Cross," He whispered, narrowing his eyes. Crosshair stifled a chuckle, "Like a lot too, I don't think I've told you this, but I love you more than I love my hair and my knives, and I really love my hair and my knives-"

"That..." Crosshair's voice trailed, looking over to his oldest brother, he still had that stupid content smile on his face. Seems like he got Tech's special treatment plan. "You should lie down." He gently pushed Hunter back. He went willingly of course; Crosshair pulled the blanket up nice and high the way Hunter liked it.

"Okay but first you have to promise me something."

"Okay..."

"Promise me you won't let Tech cut my hair with my knives," Hunter sat back up, eyes wide and waving his accusing finger, "I can see it in his eyes, he's just jealous cause my hair is really, really nice and his isn't-" He hung his head, his eyes became really heavy all of a sudden. Crosshair stared at him, making a face, did Hunter just fall asleep? Crosshair poked his brother's face again and jumped back when Hunter shot up.

"Pinky promise me, Crosshair."

"That's your middle finger, Hunter."

"Middle finger promise me, Cross"

This time Crosshair let out a laugh, no one was here except the two of them and he knew for a fact Hunter's ass was not going to remember any of this, "I middle finger promise, Hunter, now please lay down." Hunter nodded and leaned back, closing his eyes. Crosshair stood there for a moment, a lingering smile still on his face.

"I'd be bald and knifeless for you," was the last thing Hunter mumbled before falling asleep.

Crosshair rolled his eyes, pulling the blanket a little higher, "Love you too," He mumbled before leaving his brother to sleep. Crosshair was against the wall next to the big mattress playing on Tech's datapad when the door of the Marauder opened. Crosshair looked to Hunter, who had also woken up, Crosshair nodded to Hunter before he stood up. "Have fun," Crosshair patted Echo on the shoulder.

Hunter sat up and looked over, "Hi guys!" He waved, "You all look so grown up, I'm so proud of all of you." He held his arms out, gesturing them to come to him. Crosshair shoved his brothers toward Hunter. Wrecker laughed as he got on the mattress and let Hunter hug the three of them. "You guys went and got me medicine too?" Hunter felt weepy, "You guys didn't have to do that for me-"

Echo looked to Cross, understanding what he meant. "Hunter you're bleeding-"

"And you care that I'm bleeding," Hunter cried as he pulled them closer, "You guys are the best brothers ever-"

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