#real villain shit

[courtesanofdeath]

Xeno & Stanley

[onionninjasstuff]

They're playing roblox

bro the internet has never been the same since they logged in.....

[sunderwight]

Cumplane where Airplane, in a fit of either bravery or insanity or positive or negative self-esteem (he's not totally sure) decides to cosplay as Luo Binghe and post the pictures online.

Of course, he doesn't do it as "Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky", he knows he has some questionable fans and doesn't really want to hand them a picture of his face. So he posts the images under one of the pseudonyms he uses for lurking around the comment section and social media tags. It's just a handful of images of him looking like the protagonist in his head, attempting to strike cool poses in a wig and some period clothes (he rented both).

The reception is... mixed. Airplane does not have abs, after all, nor a flawless complexion or much skill with makeup. He is fat, freckled, and awkward. The PIDW readership is not known for being particularly supportive either. In fact they're mostly a crab bucket of negativity and masculine posturing, so he gets a lot of mean-spirited commentary.

It's fine. Nothing he hadn't expected. Really solidifies for him that posting was a fit of madness, actually! What did he even expect? He's bracing himself for the worst when he sees that Peerless Cucumber, notorious hate-reader and defender of Luo Binghe's honor, has commented. Ah, shit. He's probably going to rip into Airplane for daring to sully his precious Binghe's reputation by dressing up like that, isn't he?

The comment is long, too. Fuck. Airplane's not sure if his self-esteem can take a comprehensive beating from the champion hater himself, but he's too curious not to look.

Shen Yuan, in the meanwhile, is just pleased that there has FINALLY been a Luo Binghe cosplayer who looks the part. Of course Luo Binghe wouldn't have exaggerated muscles, those are just a product of dehydration. Binghe spent most of his disciple years running around chopping wood and hauling laundry, and then later doing whatever he could to pack on the calories in order to make it through the Abyss. A hefty workman's build would only make sense for him, anything else would be nonsense. Airplane also described Luo Binghe as having a beautiful face, which Shen Yuan won't blame most cosplayers for not being able to just make happen, but a beautiful face doesn't mean "covered in so much makeup it looks like an anime character"! When would Luo Binghe have the time or inclination to put on makeup? A natural beauty with some inevitable blemishes would make more sense and be much more appealing, and this "Airplane Crashing to the Ground" (funny play on the author's name, Shen Yuan approves) has very pretty features! Everyone hating on this cosplay is just an idiot, the only actual problem is that his wig is poorly fitted.

So in true Peerless Cucumber fashion, he lays this all out.

This gets him embroiled in arguments with several other fans, who even accuse him of actually being the guy in the photos, claiming that there's no other reason why he would defend them. Shen Yuan doesn't care if people think that's him, because that's still the best Luo Binghe cosplay he's ever seen, but he doesn't want them doubting the sincerity of his arguments. So, he decides that the only reasonable thing to do is dress himself up in cosplay as well and then post the actual photos of himself.

While he'd like to dress up as one of Luo Binghe's allies like Mobei Jun, or maybe someone cool like Yue Qingyuan, he is too pedantic to think he could pull that off. Those guys are all strong warrior types, and Shen Yuan is a scrawny pale rich kid who looks like he'd probably lose a fight with a wet paper towel. The only characters he could plausibly pull off would be some of the more consumptive members of Binghe's harem and maybe, maybe, one of the weaker villains like Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Yuan is NOT posting pictures of himself crossplaying to the central nexus of toxic masculinity itself, so... Shen Qingqiu it is!

Poor Airplane has to go sit and stare at a while for a while. Peerless Cucumber likes his cosplay. Peerless Cucumber, ardent defender of Shang Qinghua's sellout crappy main character mary-sue, thinks Airplane is good-looking enough to cosplay as him. And said so. Repeatedly. And then posted borderline thirst-trap villain cosplay of himself, inadvertently revealing in the process that he is hot.

What the. What. What?!

Anyway, Shen Yuan suggests that they attend the next convention both cosplaying together because Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky is supposed to be doing a meet & greet at that one, and wouldn't it be fun to go as a pair? And Airplane agrees before his brain catches up and he realizes that might present a problem.

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[thewhizzyhead]

looking at the npmd tumblr posts I'm kinda glad that we seem to be all on the same page when it comes to npmd's portrayal of bullying and that putting a stop to it isn't as easy as simply having the victims stand up to them - examples being Max still beating the shit up out of Pete, Richie, and Ruth even when they make a stand in their own way. Standing up to them directly and telling them "i'm not a loser" or "you're just a bully" or something along those lines in order to take away their power is simply a disproven cliche because bullies don't care if their victims retaliate. They only care about the power they hold and when such power is taken away from them by force - so kudos to Starkid for having bullying portrayed as not just a regular schoolboy nuisance but as genuinely life-threatening shit that needs to be taken seriously because if it isn't nipped in the bud, once that bully gains more power, they will grow crazy with it.

[khattikeri]

crazy to me that there aren't more airplane!shang qinghua/original shen jiu fics out there. i know airplane's ideal man is mobei-jun but he cared enough abt shen jiu to sincerely try multiple times to avert his fate. there's potential in here, i know it...

[myspacelegend]

[simaraknows]

i see your "'does he want to lick my boots or chop off my hands' is a Nicki reference" and raise you "what if Armand's relationship with sex is so fucked that his two modi are total submission and 'don't touch me or I'll chop off your hands' and Louis is still clowning on his trauma" in this essay I will

[mrmanbat]

In honor of me officially becoming old and gen beta being born in about a month, you get to get my brainrot Batman headcannons.

Tim- I have the least hope for Tim. He’s worse than me. I like to think he’d be at a WE meeting and would accidentally say something like “L- get radioed” without even noticing.

Steph- doesn’t hold back. She says “chat” so often that Jason has started to think she’s talking to her imaginary friend “Chat.” She’s almost as bad as Tim but is able to hold back in professional settings.

Duke- is aware of it- uses it very sparingly unless Tim and/or Steph are making fun of someone, at that point he joins and will shred someone *cough* Jason *cough* to shreds.

Damian- finds it annoying and dumb most of the time HOWEVER I can totally see him using gen-z slang, especially in school. I can also see him taking a shit on the riddler by calling him the anti rizzler.

Cass- only uses it on criminals she’s already detained. Especially if she did without making a noise. She finds it hilarious when a criminal gets taken down in less then five seconds by a black blur with faint Chappell Roan music in the background only for the the black form to whisper “queen never cry” before disappearing again.

Jason- has no clue what it is or why his siblings are yelling “you’ve gyatt to go” and “- 10 aura” across roof tops whenever they see him on patrol.

[stump-not-found]

Sorry if this has already been answered, but does Ford celebrate his birthday? I know its pretty hard to keep track of time when its ... nonlinear in the multiverse but I feel like Bill would know. And to ford every once and a while Bill demands his attention and he comes back to the pyramid to the wildest (worst) surprise party. The cake is human skin, candles are those really long wisdom teeth. Ford hates it.

i'll call out that a main plot point of chapter 4 is the fact bill gets ford presents on his b-day so yah its a regular thing, but they celebrate the day after his b-day

first birthday together bill probably does the skin cake thing but ford just rolls his eyes and sighs . bill almost fucking shoots himself after that response

[bone-trash]

After Midnight - PART 4

The night was a rainy and the store was slow; so slow in fact, that Soap wasn’t chained to his register. His duties included straightening shelves, refilling empty items and the like and since it was quiet he decided to pop an earbud in to listen to music while he worked—

*CRASH*

Soap looked up, removing his earbud as the final notes of ‘Everywhere I Go’ by Hollywood Undead bled out from the tiny speaker. By his estimation, something in a glass container had fallen from a top shelf a few aisles over, towards the back of the store.

Salsa maybe? I just hope it dinnae smell too strong, whatever it is.

Soap sighed, making his way to the supply closet, before doubling back to find the cause of the mess. Predictably, whoever had knocked down the jar, pesto as it turns out, was nowhere to be seen.

Shite.

Bending down on one knee, he got to work, carefully picking out bits of glass from the gooey pile and depositing them safely into the dust pan he’d brought. Next he used a clump of paper towels to pick up the rest between his hands without having to touch the mess too much. Soap was just finishing wiping the last bits of residue off the moldy looking yellow tile when he was interrupted.

“John-John! Is that you buddy?” A decidedly American voice called out. Soap looked up hesitantly, knowing exactly who he was going to have to deal with now and dreading it.

“H-hey Mr. Graves, I suppose et ha been a lang tiem since we met…” Soap mumbled awkwardly, regretting the fact that he was still down on the floor as his father’s least pleasant army friend barreled down the aisle toward him.

“Oh son, we’re closer than that! Plus you’re a man now, please Philip is more than alright!” Grave’s eyes were twinkling in a way that Soap didn’t like one bit, gazing down on him like maybe he enjoyed having Soap on the floor and trapped into an uncomfortable situation.

“Och, sorry Mr. Gra—Philip, et’s a tough habit tae break,” Soap replied uneasily, rising from the floor as quickly as he could manage without seeming like he was trying to escape. Even after all this time Graves was still a head taller than him. “What brings ye round this way?”

“Do I need a reason?” Grave’s smile had all the appeal of stepping on a Lego in the dark. “I mean come on John-John, we’re practically family…” his voiced pitched down and he began to crowd Soap into the shelf behind them.

Soap couldn’t breathe, this was just too much. Graves had always given off bad vibes but now that his brain was screaming at him that he was in real danger, he was rooted to the spot. He flushed a deep crimson and shot his eyes to the side, desperately trying to avoid eye contact or invite any further interest from the older man.

“I must say, playing all that soccer really filled you out huh?” Grave’s gaze dragged across Soap’s chest and down the unflattering uniform polo he wore.

Ugh, it’s called football ye daft bawbag. Grody fockin’ bodach…

“So… you must be what, 20 or so now?” Graves continued, boldly resting a hand on the shelf just past Soap’s shoulder and boxing the younger man in. “How’s about we get a drink once you’re off work…”

Soap was wondering distractedly if screaming for help would do him any good, when a familiarly large and masculine hand dropped heavily on Graves shoulder and spun him around.

“Hey pal, I would butt out if I were…you.”Graves trailed off as he was suddenly nose to skull masked nose with the large form of Ghost. Johnny, now free, jumped away from the shelf.

Ghost didn’t say a word but apparently communicated enough of a message in the 3 or so seconds he glowered down at Graves to send him packing. He didn’t even offer Soap a goodbye as he darted around the end of the aisle.

Fockin’ wank-stain.

Soap turned his attention back to his rescuer who surprisingly was still close by watching him. His warm, dark eyes meeting Soap’s and refusing to break the link he created; it was like falling into the void of space.

“Thank ye,” Soap cleared his throat and glanced down at his shoes, “I dinnae ken wha tha tosser might a tried if ye hadna come and saved me.”

Now it was Ghost who blushed, a large hand flying to the back of his neck to rub self consciously. The motion did everything for the swell of his tattooed bicep. His eyes snapped down and away from Soaps face.

Wha a bonnie dear lamb…

“Tea…” Ghost stuttered out finally.

“Tea?” Soap repeated confused.

“I, uh, you’re all out of tea.” Ghost continued, looking adorably pained. “That is, I didn’t see any in the usual spot, so I… came lookin’ for ya. To help me! Find the, the tea.” He finished. His eyes darted up then, like maybe he hoped something heavy would fall on him and end his misery.

“Well I hate to disappoint ye,” Soap said smiling, “but ye favorite tea is oot of stock, if ye like I cood take doon yer contact info and let ye know when to come back round for et.” No one liked to wast time wandering a store if they didn’t have to, and this way maybe Soap could have more conversations with this adorable, beautiful, protective man. You know, about tea, of course.

“My contact info? Like my mobile number?”

“Aye, ye know, so ye dinnae have to keep comin round if we no have it.”

“I like coming round, Johnny” Ghost said then, and Soap’s world tipped a bit on its axis. Johnny. He must have heard Grave’s inappropriate use of Soap’s childhood nickname and created his own.

Fuck.

“Aye, ye come in enough I’d hope so…” Soap blushed.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Soap’s attention snapped back.

“Okay, you can have my mobile number, for the tea.”

“Och, o’course for the tea!” Soap exclaimed far too loudly. He pulled out his phone, really he should make a show of keeping this professional and go and get a pen and paper, but he was too excited. “I’ll also be need’n a name…” Soap held his breath.

“Simon,” the man chuckled warmly. He was far too charming for his own good.

Simon, Och but that fit jest right.

Soap typed the numbers into his keypad as Simon instructed, saving the number as promised and, before he could think too hard about it, texted the number with an emoji of a teapot and a bar of soap. Simon’s phone buzzed and he fished his phone out of the back pocket of his joggers.

“Why the Soap?” Simon asked, one brow quirking up in amusement.

“Et’s one o’ me nicknames, I sometimes go by et…” Soap flushed again, he felt dumb for explaining it like a kid trying to impress an older cousin or something.

“Cute,” Simon chucked again, spreading warmth through Soap’s chest, “But I think I’ll stick with Johnny.” His heartbeat thundering in his ears, Soap could only nod and clear his throat awkwardly. Simon smiled and said something about needing to head home. Soap barely heard it, eyes devouring the wide slope of shoulders down to his narrow waist as he left the aisle.

“Ah’ll shoot ye a message when we get et back in stock.” Soap hollared finally.

Cute. He called me cute! I’m ganna die. I’m ganna fockin die in this glaikit store, an then I’ll haunt et forever because Simon called me fockin’ cute in my mingin’ khakis…

Soap didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the night.

[flymmsy]

[harbingersecho]

let me go, please -- i don't wanna do this!

[dollypopup]

everyone in the Lukola fandom spiraling once again (which i only know because as a fan of Luke Newton, I go to his tag and y'all spam the SHIT OUT OF IT) and here I am to say that THIS is why you don't get too involved in your delusions and speculations. The Lukola fandom LOVES to claim that it's all fun and games and just theories. . .until those theories are disproved. and then they turn into a raging hate machine that digs themselves in the dirt of their echo chamber with their fingers in their ears and their hands over their eyes.

putting aside the horrific misogyny his girlfriend has gotten, the very idea that y'all will 'stop shipping when they announce they're with someone else' is ridiculous. they have BEEN saying it, but without words. y'all just don't want to hear it. listen to me closely, if someone doesn't 'claim' you on social media, but you KNOW they've been harassed and stalked and bullied and smack dab in the public eye, but they take you on all their trips and meet your family and hang out with you and introduce you to their friends? you've BEEN 'claimed'. just not to cruel hearted fans, but to those who matter. it's clear to me that Luke is doing what he can to keep his girlfriend from being attacked by a wide audience on social media, and no he's not going to come out publicly with it because he has *learned his lesson*. he has had several public relationships fall to tatters and has had previous partners harassed, even on her work instagram, so one day y'all will have to swallow the pill.

nicola is not pregnant with luke's child (this shit was disrespectful to claim in the first place). her and luke are not married or living together. they are not dating. they are in a relationship with other people, and are yes, friends, but more importantly, coworkers. their financial lives are very much tied into upholding a fantasy for people. so on top of not wanting to expose their partners to the absolutely bananas fandom, they are financially motivated to be amicable about Lukola's disrespectful theories. especially Luke, who was, as he claimed openly, broke and looking for a job as he couchsurfed and part time bartended prior to Bridgerton to make ends meet. he's not letting go of the consistency of a yearly gig or the opportunities it brings. selling the costar love story fantasy is a common pr tactic, so of course they're going to be invested in selling the fantasy people fell for. hence bringing one another up in 'romantic hints' in interviews. they are just doing their job. which is acting. not LYING as some of y'all love to clutch your pearls about when you feel they have 'deceived you'

Luke's entire Sexiest Man Alive interview was very purposefully distanced from him as a person. It's clear in his mind that this was a character he was putting on- he does not feel comfortable describing himself as a heartthrob as he has said outright, and his answers in the This or That portion are clearly from Colin's perspective. It is COLIN'S time to shine and be desirable in this way, not Luke's. Which is what Nicola likely means when she says Luke has no ego in it. but there's something very important to put in place here:

Luke is not Colin. He is an actor playing a character. But y'all TREAT HIM like he's Colin. You treat him like he's fictional. Not a real person. And you do the same to Nicola. They are not Polin. They are not their characters. They are real actual human beings you will never personally know.

this man has been STALKED. someone moved across the ocean to the UK to peek into the windows of his home to determine if he was still living there and with a girlfriend. thank god he'd moved prior to that because the trauma of that is horrific. y'all have turned him and nicola into characters you can speculate about instead of creatives whose personas you enjoy.

you. do. not. know. these. people.

they are strangers. please keep that in mind when y'all hop on this parasocial bullshit. stop convincing yourselves that your 'delulu' and speculation is real. and yes, you do that because if you didn't think it was real, you wouldn't get mad when it turns out to be false.

treat the creatives you claim to support with respect. and accept the reality of things.

or at the very least get out of their tags and keep your echo chamber's door shut

[lizzybeeee]

Inquisitor: "Is there any way Solas can be reasoned with?"

Me after Solas has killed Varric, used blood magic on me, trapped me in the fade, created the blight, made the titans tranquil/fucked with the dwarves, started the chain of events that led to Southern Thedas being destroyed, and stealing all my good gear from Inquisition:

[jade-len]

very important definitely no reason question do you guys think bingge would seduce (or maybe even sleep with) men if it meant obtaining something/getting the upper hand/manipulation or is that reserved for women only

this is specifically abt huan hua disciple bingge btw, so keep in mind that he was already out n' about in the promising demon ladies and doing demon managing stuff. of course he's only marrying women but that doesn't mean he won't try anything with men!

edit: sorry i forgot to clarify lol. don't think of this as "pidw restricts this and that, so ______."

like, pretend that pidw is a completely separate piece of media from svsss (and an actually well written not so much a cliche stallion novel, sorry airplane bro lol) and you're watching/reading bingge's huan hua palace arc. could you see him doing something like that? or would the men!! danger!! trauma still prevail? (ex: leading on gyx's friend for important info who happens to be a male and very into bingge. or, shutting down those ideas because the thought of even acting in such a way for a man greatly uneases or triggers him)